20
"Izzy Cullen."
Bella felt her shoulders tense as she stood and looked toward the door leading to the back of Dr. Black's office. Bree was holding said door open, a nervous smile on her face.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"Yes."
Bella followed her, kicking her shoes off before stepping onto the scale. She didn't look at the numbers, knowing she'd gained a few pounds but was still under where she should be halfway through her pregnancy. Bree led her down the hallway and into one of the examination rooms, where she proceeded to take her blood pressure and check her temperature before saying, "Dr. Black should only be a few minutes."
"Thank you."
Bree smiled once more before she left Bella alone. Biting the inside of her lip, she slipped her phone out of her pocket and looked at the email she had received that morning. Carlisle's life insurance had been processed, and she should be expecting a check in seven to ten business days. It was money she didn't want. Money she needed but did not want.
She wanted him.
She wanted him to explain why he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her about Esme. But she would never get that answer. No matter how many times she found herself reading through his files, she would never get an explanation for why he didn't trust her.
The door opened, and Bella quickly shoved her phone into her pocket and looked back as Dr. Black hurried in. He tossed her chart on the counter before turning toward her and smiling.
"How was New York?"
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she simply shrugged her shoulders. "It was okay, I guess."
He nodded. "Just okay?"
"Yes. Just . . . Did he tell you?"
Dr. Black smiled. "He told me you had an emotionally charged few days."
"Emotionally charged is one way to put it," she quipped, moving her hand to her slight belly. "Does he talk about me a lot with you?"
"No, of course not. He called and told me about the flight and asked what he needed to do to make sure it was easy and safe for you and the baby. Then, I texted him to check in, and he said you'd come back and had an emotionally charged few days. To be honest, I wasn't sure you would make your appointment today."
"Me either," she admitted before shaking her head. "Why'd you forgive him?"
Dr. Black inhaled a deep breath. "Because at the end of the day, being angry helps no one. It took a long time for Rebecca and me to stop dwelling on that night. We miss him, Izzy, God, do we miss him. But he's dead, and being angry is not going to bring him back to us."
He reached for her hand, which she gave. "Edward was a kid who didn't know any other way to handle the pain and suffering his . . . well, for lack of better phrasing, 'piece-of-shit parents' put him and Carlisle through. I . . . I tried to help them and offered to let the boys move in with us, but their dad wouldn't have it. And Jake wasn't innocent, Izzy. He was high and drunk that night, too. He knew better than to get behind the wheel of a car after he'd been drinking. It wasn't all on Edward."
"No, I know." Bella slipped her hand from his, placing it back on her belly. "We failed him. All of us, but especially Carlisle and me. We failed Edward. We should have . . . we should have done more to help him, more to protect him."
"Oh, Izzy," Dr. Black placed his hand on the side of her face. "There were a lot of us who failed that boy. But he turned things around, and he is not that same kid anymore. He grew up, kiddo. You all grew up."
"Being a grown-up is highly overrated," she said through her tears.
"I tried to warn you," he scoffed, dropping his hands to his hips. "Now, let's see how you're doing, and then we can do another ultrasound. Have you decided if you want to know the sex of your baby?""
"I do."
Dr. Black nodded and helped her lay back on the table. Once he had measured her stomach, he hurried out of the room, coming back a few minutes later with the all-too-familiar ultrasound machine. Her heart raced as he squirted some gel onto her stomach and then turned on the machine. Dr. Black gave her a gentle smile as he placed the wand on her stomach, and a moment later, the sound of Little Bit's heartbeat echoed from the speakers.
"A nice, strong heartbeat," he said.
Bella nodded and pulled her phone out of her pocket, turning on the video camera option and pointing it toward the screen. When Dr. Black raised an eyebrow, she simply said, "I thought Edward might want to see his niece or nephew."
"Oh, I see." Dr. Black smirked and looked away. "Well, your son is right on track, Izzy."
"I'm having a boy?" she asked, grinning, and ended the video, immediately texting it to Edward before shoving the phone into her pocket, feeling it vibrate almost immediately. As much as she wanted to see his reaction, she was scared, too. She'd told him she needed time and space, yet found herself thinking about him more than she should have in the last four days since they returned from New York.
"Yes, dear, you are having a boy." Dr. Black printed off several pictures before turning off the machine. He cleaned the excess gel off her stomach and then helped her sit back up. "You're still a little underweight, so I would like to see you again in a couple of weeks. We'll do a glucose test then, so make sure you fast."
Bella nodded. "Okay."
"And, can I give you a little unsolicited advice?"
"Can I stop you?"
He smiled.
"Didn't think so. Give it to me, Dr. Black."
"Let it go."
"I'm sorry, what?" she asked, laughing. "Let what go?"
"Your anger, dear. Let it go."
"How do I do that?" she asked. "Ten-plus years is a lot of life to just . . . move on from, Dr. Black."
"I never said move on. I said let go of your anger. For you and your son."
Dr. Black handed her the photos. "I'll see you in a couple weeks, Izzy. If you need anything, please call. And I do mean anything, and that goes for Rebecca, too. She misses you, dear."
"I miss her, too. I'll come by soon. I promise."
Bella stopped at the front desk and made her next appointment before pushing the door to the lobby open, finding Rosalie with baby Jasmine there.
Rosalie smiled and stood. "Hey, Izzy."
"Hey, Ro." She shifted uneasily. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um, six-week check-up."
Bella nodded. "Has it been six weeks already?"
"I know; I can't believe it myself."
"Where's Emmett?"
"He had to work, so I'm on my own."
Bella nodded. "Surprised your momma didn't come with you."
Rosalie laughed. "That woman has been driving me up the wall, so I told her I was coming alone. She offered to watch Jazzy for me, but she gets fussy around her. Personally, I think it's because Jazzy makes her nervous, but that's just my opinion."
The door behind them opened, and they turned to find Bree there. "Are you ready, Rosalie?"
"Um, sure."
She reached down to pick up the carrier but stopped when Bella covered her hand and said, "I got her."
Rosalie smiled. "Are you sure?"
"Of course. I mean, I need to get my snuggles in while I can, right?"
"That's right. I shouldn't be long. She's got a bottle in her diaper bag."
"Go, Ro. I've got her." Bella settled in the chair Rosalie had just been sitting on. "We'll be just fine."
"Yeah, I know you will."
—RtW—
Rosalie had only been gone for a few minutes when Jasmine started squirming in her carrier. Bella gently undid her straps before lifting the tiny baby into her arms. She had grown so much over the last six weeks, but at the same time, she was still so fragile. Bella couldn't help but wonder what it was going to be like in a few months when she was holding her baby.
Her son.
She and Carlisle had always talked about having a child. While he had always insisted he didn't care, and part of him probably hadn't, Bella knew he'd always hoped their firstborn would be a boy. He always said he would make sure his son was treated better than he had been. He would tell him it was okay to cry or be sad, that it didn't make you weak to show your emotions. At moments like that, when Carlisle let his guard down, she saw just how much his parents had hurt him.
The door to the back opened, and Bella looked over to find Rosalie hurrying out.
She stopped and frowned. "You okay, Izzy?"
"Huh?" she whimpered, not realizing she'd been silently crying. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"No, you're not." Rosalie settled in the chair beside her, her hand coming up behind Jasmine. "I'm sorry, you know, for that night. I never meant to hurt you."
"You didn't." Bella shifted Jasmine into Rosalie's arms. "I'm starting to think you weren't entirely wrong."
She frowned.
"There's so much I don't even understand, so much that just . . . confuses me."
"Like Edward's feelings for you."
Bella tensed. "You knew how he felt about me?"
"I suspected but didn't know for sure until he and I had lunch yesterday."
"What'd he tell you?"
"Nothing," she said quickly. "I asked how the trip to New York went and if he got the closure he needed. He was very cryptic about the details but said things came up he hadn't been prepared to tell you about. I took a wild guess that he'd confessed his feelings for you, and, well, he didn't deny it, so . . ."
"Was I the only person who didn't see how he felt about me?"
"I mean, probably." She laid Jasmine back into her carrier and strapped her in. "You were all about Carlisle, Iz. I don't think anyone could have broken you two apart."
"You think he would have tried?"
"No, no, I don't. I think Edward would have done everything he could to keep you in his life in any way possible. Even if it was just being your brother-in-law. But when Carlisle cut him off, losing both of you was a lot harder on Edward than he thought it would be, and it pushed him to change. Now that he has you back, I don't think he could handle losing you again."
"I don't know how to respond to that. I mean, I love Edward, Ro. He's . . . He's Edward, but I . . . I'm not in love with him."
"Nobody said you had to marry him, Izzy. Just let him be your friend, your baby's uncle. I would say cool uncle, but Em's really batting for that honor."
Bella laughed. "Always the competitor, that one."
"He is." Rosalie stood. "Want to go get some lunch? Maybe some ice cream?"
"Oh, um." Bella checked the time on her watch. "I can't."
"Okay," she said sadly.
"I have an appointment to look at a house."
Rosalie's eyes widened. "So, you're really going to move out?"
"I am. Dad's not thrilled with the idea, but I need to learn how to care for myself, Ro. For me and my son."
"A son? You're having a boy?"
Bella grinned and nodded. "I just found out today."
"Oh, Izzy," Rosalie gushed, sitting in the seat next to her. "I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks." She paused. "Would you want to come look at the house with me?"
"You'd be okay with us tagging along?"
"I could use someone else's opinion."
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Izzy! I was starting to go a little stir-crazy being home all day with just Jazzy. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore being a mom, but I need a little grown-up time, too."
Bella laughed. "Then let's go get you some grown-up time."
Since Rosalie's car had the base for Jasmine's baby carrier, they took hers. Bella gave her the address, and she programmed it into her navigation system before reversing out of her parking space and heading to the northern part of Woodbury.
Ten minutes later, Rosalie parked in the driveway of the most adorable house Bella had ever seen. As she climbed out, she instantly knew this was the house she wanted. It actually looked like a stone cottage. A cobblestone pathway led from the side of the driveway toward a large covered porch. There was a large porch swing and room for a few wicker chairs.
"Hello."
Rosalie and Bella looked behind them, finding a short, stout woman with curly brown hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head.
"Which one of you is Izzy?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Me," Bella said. "You're Mrs. Newton?"
She nodded. "It's Jessica."
"It's nice to meet you, Jessica. I believe I spoke to your husband last night."
"Michael is actually my son. He's seventeen, and I was at work, so . . ."
"Oh."
"Well, are we ready to take a look around?"
"Yes." Izzy nodded and glanced at Rosalie. "Sorry, this is my friend Rosalie. She's here for moral support."
Jessica smiled before saying, "It's nice to meet you, Rosalie."
"You too."
Jessica walked past them to the front door, pulling a small keyring out of her pocket. She stepped inside, and Rosalie and Bella followed. The interior was even more beautiful than the outside. The living room was small and warm; the walls were painted a dark taupe, and the window frames were chocolate brown. There was a stone fireplace on the far wall.
"The fireplace works. I just had the chute cleaned and serviced. I have a contract through Crowley's Chimney Service. They come out every other month and make sure that everything is in order," Jessica rambled. "Shall we check out the kitchen?"
"Please," Bella murmured as the three continued walking.
Like the living room, the kitchen walls were taupe, and the counters were marble. The cabinets were painted black, and the appliances were stainless steel. Off the kitchen was a small laundry room and a door leading into the backyard, which was lined with beautiful foliage. There were two large trees where Bella imagined putting a hammock.
"There are two bedrooms, only one bathroom," Jessica said, leading them back into the house, through the kitchen, past the living room, and down a small, narrow hallway. "The bathroom is straight ahead; the bedrooms are on either side."
The first bedroom was small, perfect for the nursery, Bella thought. The walls were, again, taupe. There was a small closet with built-in shelves. The other bedroom was almost twice as big and had two large windows with a window seat overlooking the backyard. There was a walk-in closet, also with built-in shelving. When they entered the bathroom, Bella couldn't keep the smile off her face. It was . . . almost magical. There was a porcelain claw foot tub with a shower and a double sink that looked like it had been built into a wooden vanity, but it was the rustic feel of the bathroom that she loved.
Bella could imagine giving her son a bath in the tub, watching him play with toys and blowing bubbles. And for some reason, she could imagine Edward by her side.
"Is she okay?" Jessica asked, and when Bella turned to look at her, she felt the tears seeping down her cheeks. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just . . . I don't know . . . hormones, or whatever."
Jessica laughed. "That's fair. When I was pregnant with Michael, I once cried because my husband brought me a cookie. He thought he'd done something wrong, but . . ." She paused and shook her head, blowing out a thick breath. "Sorry. I told myself I wasn't going to cry today."
"I tell myself that often," Bella replied, feeling Rosalie place her hand on her arm.
"My husband . . . this house was his dream for us after our son was grown, and it was just the two of us again." Jessica covered her mouth, taking another deep breath. "He died a couple of years ago, cancer. I don't know . . . He wouldn't want this place just sitting here empty, so I thought I would put it on the market."
Bella frowned.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring down the mood," Jessica rambled.
"You didn't," she insisted. "I, um . . . my husband died not long ago, so I . . . I don't know. I'm just . . . I'm just looking for a home for our child and me."
Jessica smiled. "I would like to help you with that. You know what I'm asking, Izzy."
She nodded. "Let me think about it, and I'll let you know in a couple of days."
"Sounds like a plan."
As she and Rosalie followed Jessica out of the house and to the driveway, Bella stopped and looked back. "Does it get easier? Living without him, I mean. Does it ever get any easier?"
"No," Jessica admitted, causing Bella to look at her. "There's not a day that goes by, Izzy, that Mike isn't the first thought I have in the morning and the last every night. But my son needs me to be strong for him, to teach him how to be a man since his father isn't here to do so."
Bella nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I look forward to hearing from you, Izzy."
Bella climbed into the passenger seat while Rosalie got Jasmine in the back again. As Rosalie pulled out of the driveway, Bella shifted her eyes to the house once again and wondered what Edward would think.
Would he like it as much as she did?
Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! Big shout out to Sunflower Fran for being an amazing beta and friend! See you next Wednesday!