26

True to his word, Ben installed the new security system in just under an hour. Before leaving, he made a point to tell Bella how much he and Angela had missed her and how they would love to meet for dinner whenever she was available. That they should reconnect, blah, blah, blah.

Bella smiled and nodded but had no intention of taking him up on his offer. Based on the night before, it wasn't a genuine one. As soon as he was gone and she had the cookies packed in a Tupperware bowl, she grabbed her bag and keys, locked the house, and left, determined to confront Edward for leaving without a word.

However, instead of driving to The Oasis, she found herself parked in front of her brother's house. Alice and Jasper owned a four-bedroom, ranch-style home on the edge of Woodbury. The red brick dwelling with white shutters was the picture of perfection. The lawn was well cared for, and the flowerbeds pristine. It was the first time Bella had been there, and they'd bought it almost eight years ago when they returned to Woodbury after their wedding.

She knew Jasper was at work, but Alice's white SUV was parked in front of the garage. Bella grabbed the Tupperware container and climbed out, making her way to the front door. But before she could knock, the door opened, and she found herself face-to-face with her sister-in-law.

"Oh, hey. Is this a bad time?"

"Of course not. I saw you pull in the driveway," Alice said, taking a step backward and waving her inside. "Come on in. I was about to make some tea. You want a cup?"

"Yeah, sure."

Bella followed her through the living room and into the kitchen, placing the container on the island before she scooted onto one of the stools. Her hand rested on her belly as Alice placed the tea kettle on the stove and turned on the burner. "You like green tea?"

"That's fine," Bella murmured, laying her arm on the island top.

"Not that I mind, but did you come by for a reason? Don't get me wrong, you saved me from folding my fourth load of laundry of the day. The girls feel the need to change their clothes at least four times before they go to school and twice more once they get home. Instead of hanging it back up, they just toss it on the floor, so I have no clue what's clean and what's dirty."

Bella tried to smile but knew it didn't come off as genuine as soon as Alice frowned.

"Oh, sweetie."

"I'm okay," she whimpered.

"No, you're not." Alice stepped from behind the island, wrapped her arms around Bella, and led her into the living room, all but shoving her onto the sofa before sitting next to her. "Talk to me."

"I . . ." Bella sighed. "I don't know. I just feel so . . . confused."

"About this Edward guy, Jasper was telling me about?"

Nodding, her eyes widened. "What'd he tell you?"

"Well, it wasn't so much what he told me but how he told me. Gave me a little history lesson about you, Carlisle, Edward, and Jacob Black. Said Edward was to blame for the accident that took that boy's life."

"No, he wasn't. It was . . . it was a bunch of bad choices that night."

"I assumed as much when he told me the details. Sounded to me like kids were being kids. I mean, we all did dumb shit when we were teens, didn't we?"

"Life for Carlisle and Edward was . . . It was hard, Alice, so hard. While Carlisle chose to be careful and cautious, Edward . . . well, he coped the only way he knew how, I guess. It wasn't always easy being around him, either. But he's loyal. So fiercely loyal."

"Oh, I see." Alice faced her. "You like him."

"I . . . I do. I do, but I don't know if . . . He's Carlisle's brother, Alice. His brother and I have these feelings that I don't understand. I miss Carlisle so much," she cried. "So much, but a part of me . . . a part of me wonders if Carlisle loved me the way I loved him or if he just kept me away from Edward to hurt him in retaliation."

"Oh, honey, no . . ."

Before Alice could say anything else, the tea kettle started whistling, and she hurried into the kitchen. Bella stood and walked over to Alice's wall of fame. Pictures of her, Jasper, and the girls filled almost the entire wall. It was at that moment Bella really saw how much she had missed while in New York.

Her brother had created this whole new life, and she'd missed so much. Sure, he, Alice, and Charlie visited throughout the year, bringing the girls. She and Carlisle would show them the city and spoil Millie and Cassie, saying it was their right to stuff them full of sugar before sending them back to the hotel with their parents. But she never really saw them grow up. Pictures and snippets here and there, but it wasn't enough.

She pulled down the picture of Alice in the hospital just moments after the girls were born. She was cradling both in her arms, her face was red and glistening with sweat, and her hair was a mess. Jasper was curled up beside them, his arm supporting his wife and newborn daughters.

Bella felt a pang of sorrow, realizing her son would never know how much his father wanted him and how he longed to be a father — a better father than he had.

"Sorry. I almost forget about the tea." Bella turned as Alice walked back into the room with a mug in each hand. Her eyes flickered from Bella to the photo, and she smiled. "One of my favorite pictures on that wall. I looked horrible, but holding my girls like that . . . Well, I'm thankful Dr. Black insisted on taking it."

"What's it like, Alice?"

"What? Giving birth?"

Bella nodded as she walked over, still holding the framed photo. "Did you have a long labor?"

"Ten hours or so. The girls were four weeks early. Dr. Black kept telling me I would be lucky if I made it to thirty-two weeks because of how petite I am, but I proved him wrong." Alice placed their tea on the coffee table before she sat and reached for the photo. "I felt my first contraction around two-thirty in the morning. I'd been restless all day, though. Nesting is what all the books call it. I must have rearranged the dishes ten times. Drove Jasper crazy," she added with a laugh.

"He kept telling me to sit, to relax, but I just . . . I don't know, I couldn't. I guess I knew something was about to happen. That night, I took a shower and went to bed, but I just . . . I couldn't really sleep. Of course, being pregnant with twins made sleep nearly impossible. I had just started to drift off when I felt it."

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I won't lie to you, Izzy. Labor hurts like a son-of-a-bitch, and that's what the epidural, which I highly recommend, is for. But when that little boy is born, when you see his face, you'll fall so deeply in love with him that you'd do it all over again and again."

"I'm terrified, Alice. Not so much the labor and delivery, but . . . How am I going to raise this little boy alone?" Bella asked, unable to keep the whimper from lacing her tone. "How?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Izzy; it won't be easy. We'll all help where and when we can, of course. But at the end of the day, you're the only parent that sweet, precious little boy will have."

Bella frowned.

"A little too blunt, huh? Sorry, honey, I just don't want to be one more person in your life lying to you."

"No, it's not too blunt." Bella picked up her tea and took a sip. "I never thought I would be doing this alone. Carlisle and I tried for years, Alice, and nothing. When we made the choice to take a break, I got pregnant, and he died. It's not fair."

"No, it's not fair," she admitted.

"I do have feelings for Edward, Alice. Strong feelings, feelings that, if I'm honest, kind of scare the shit out of me. I . . . I haven't felt like this in a long time."

"But?" she pressed.

"But it's complicated."

"Because he's Carlisle's brother."

"Yes, and because . . . I don't know. Is it too soon to even think about moving on with someone new?"

"Do you think it's too soon?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking."

"Izzy, honey, nobody can tell you if it's too soon or way past time to move on. And nobody should be pressuring you to feel one way or another about anyone." Alice grabbed her hand. "There's no time limit on grief, honey. And you will always miss Carlisle, love him, even need him. But you can't lose yourself to that grief, either. Carlisle wouldn't want you to drown in a sea of sorrow because of him."

Bella smiled softly. "Thanks, Alice. You're the only person who isn't telling me to feel one way or another."

"I've never been in your shoes, Izzy. None of us have. But you're not alone. You have so many people who love you. Don't forget that."

"I won't."

"Good. Now, let's talk about your baby shower. I have so many ideas."

"Okay, let's hear them."

—RtW—

Bella left when Alice had to pick up the girls from school. But instead of going back to her little house, she found herself parked in front of The Oasis. Even though she was still confused about her feelings for Edward, she was worried about him. He was her best friend, and she wouldn't turn her back on him.

Not again.

So, with her Tupperware bowl of cookies, minus those she had left at Alice's for Millie and Cassie, Bella climbed out of her car and walked to the front door. The cement where she'd dropped the dish of lasagna the night before had been cleaned. When she stepped inside, she found Edward seated at the bar with a large leather binder in front of him. Just like the first day she'd come here, he wore jeans with holes in the knees and a black T-shirt with a white 'O'. His hair was down, reaching his shoulders.

He smiled and stood. "Oh, hey."

"Hey." She let the door close behind her. "Am I interrupting? I know you're not open yet."

"No, no, of course not. Just balancing the books." Edward dragged his fingers through his hair before dropping his hand to his hip. "How was your appointment? Little Bit growing and everything?"

"Good. Dr. Black says he's right on track for twenty-two weeks."

"Glad to hear it."

"Ben came over. Installed the security system you insisted on paying for, even though I told you I could handle it."

"He told me."

"I thought you were going to do it."

"I never said I would handle the install, just that I would pay for one. I don't know shit about security systems."

"Fair enough," Bella said with a smile. She placed the container on the bar before walking to the jukebox. Biting the inside of her lip as she read over her choices, she pressed F6, I'm With You by Avril Lavigne.

Turning, she looked back at Edward, who was watching her with an intensity that scared her. An intensity that thrilled her. An intensity that had her heart racing.

"Why'd you leave this morning?"

Edward frowned.

"You just . . . I went to take a shower, and you left without saying anything."

"I left you a note."

"I saw it, but why did you leave?"

Edward sighed.

"I was worried about you. About. . . about him coming back, about you being alone." Bella walked back toward him. "Was it something I said?"

"No, sweetheart, it wasn't you. It's me. I made you uncomfortable, and I don't want to do that. I never, ever want to do that."

"You don't make me uncomfortable, Edward." When he scoffed, she said, "You don't!"

"Don't lie to me, Izzy. I saw it in your eyes. One minute you were with me, and the next . . . The next, you were gone."

"Fine. You're right, but that didn't mean you were making me uncomfortable or that I wanted you to leave."

"I know. I know, Izzy, but I just . . ."

"You just what?"

"It's hard for me to control myself when I'm around you," he whispered, more vulnerable than she'd ever heard him before.

"You don't think it's hard for me?"

"Is it?"

"Yes," she admitted, taking a step toward him.

"Izzy."

"I told you I have feelings for you."

"I know, but maybe that's just because I've been hanging around too much."

"No, I don't think that's why. When I'm with you, it's the only time I don't feel lost and scared. I . . ." Bella paused before taking a step toward him. "I'm all in, Edward. I am one hundred percent into this relationship."

"Don't say that. Don't say that if you don't mean it."

She placed her hands on either side of his face, feeling him lean into her touch. "I'm all in."

"Izzy."

And leaning up, she pressed her lips against his.

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews. Big thank you to Sunflower Fran for cleaning up my mess.