4 Skunks in a Trunk, a twilight fanfic

Four Skunks in a Suitcase: A Hilarious Tale of Dares Gone Wild

Rose, Emmett, and Jasper had been engaged in an increasingly wild game of truth or dare for the past three weeks. What had started as innocent fun had quickly spiraled into a no-holds-barred competition of outrageous challenges. Each dare seemed to push the boundaries further, leaving them all wondering just how far they were willing to go.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the Cullen family's spacious living room, Emmett's eyes gleamed with mischief. He turned to Jasper, a smirk playing on his lips. "Alright, brother," he drawled, his voice dripping with anticipation. "Truth or dare?"

Jasper, never one to back down from a challenge, met Emmett's gaze with steely determination. "Dare," he declared without hesitation, his Southern accent more pronounced in his excitement.

Rose rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Here we go again," she muttered, settling back into the plush armchair to watch the chaos unfold.

Emmett's grin widened, revealing his dimples. He rubbed his hands together, looking for all the world like a cartoon villain about to unveil his master plan. "I dare you," he said slowly, savoring each word, "to play a practical joke on the Quileute pack."

A hush fell over the room. Pranking the werewolves was no small feat, and it could potentially strain the delicate truce between their families. But a dare was a dare, and Jasper's mind was already whirring with possibilities.

"Challenge accepted," Jasper replied, a sly smile spreading across his face. "And I know just the thing."

As Jasper outlined his plan, Rose and Emmett's eyes grew wider with each detail. It was audacious, ridiculous, and absolutely perfect.

"Skunks?" Rose repeated, her voice a mixture of disbelief and admiration. "You're going to catch skunks and put them in a suitcase?"

Jasper nodded, his expression serious despite the absurdity of the situation. "Several skunks, to be precise. I'll leave the suitcase on the road for the pack to find."

Emmett let out a booming laugh that shook the windows. "This I've got to see! But how are you going to catch them without getting sprayed?"

"That," Jasper said with a wink, "is where my superior vampire reflexes come in handy. Plus, I've heard skunks have a weakness for Vienna sausages. I'll use that to bait the trap."

And so, Operation Skunk Works (as Emmett had gleefully dubbed it) was set into motion. Jasper spent the next few nights observing local skunks, learning their habits and favorite haunts. He set up a large live trap in a clearing, baiting it with an abundance of Vienna sausages.

As Jasper finished setting up the trap he heard a faint sound in the distance. It started as a low rumble but grew steadily louder. Then, emerging from the underbrush came an unusual sight: four skunks, led by a portly skunk with a particularly prominent white stripe, marching in perfect formation, their tails swaying in unison.

The group moved with military precision, their voices rising in a spirited cadence:

"Hi, Ho, Lock and load," Fred called out. "(Hi, Ho, Lock and load,)" the others echoed. "Noses are twitching, off to breakfast we go" "(noses are twitching, off to breakfast we go)"

As they marched closer to the trap, their noses twitching at the tantalizing scent of Vienna sausages, they continued their song:

"Spray the enemy take control, (Spray the enemy take control,) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)" "Grasshoppers on the hill, (grasshoppers on the hill,) Hoppers taste great on the grill (Hoppers taste great on the grill)

The skunks paused their march as they reached the clearing, their eyes widening at the sight of the trap. But their hesitation didn't stop their cadence. The smallest skunk of the group took up the next verse:

When the enemy come around 'lift your tail and turn around', (When the enemy come around 'lift your tail and turn around',) "Give a wink and hose 'em down, (Give a wink and hose 'em down,) Moving by without a sound, (Moving by without a sound,)

Locks and loads a single round, (Locks and loads a single round,) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)"

"Raccoons will want to die, (Raccoons will want to die,) When we squirt him in the eye, (When we squirt him in the eye,) It's fun to watch those Raccoons cry, (It's fun to watch those Raccoons cry,) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)"

As they circled the trap, sniffing curiously, George said sniffing the air again "this smell fishy." "No" says Tina "it smell like Vienna sausages."

Finally, as they gathered at the entrance of the trap, drawn by the irresistible aroma of the sausages, their cadence at an end, Fred, the leader of the group, still standing at attention, turned to his companions. "Well, well, well," he said in a gruff voice. "What do we have here?"

"Smells like Vienna sausages, George," replied the Bart, the smaller skunk, his eyes wide with excitement. "Told ya so." Says Tina

"I can see that, Bart," George retorted. "But why are they just sitting out here in the open?"

Tina piped up, "Who cares? I'm starving! Let's eat!"

"Now hold on a minute, Tina," Fred interjected. "Don't you think this is a little suspicious?"

George nodded sagely. "Bart's right. We should approach with caution."

Despite their reservations, the allure of the Vienna sausages proved too strong to resist. The four skunks crept closer to the trap, their noses leading the way.

As they crowded around the entrance, jostling for position, Fred suddenly lost his balance. He tumbled forward, knocking into George, who bumped into Bart, creating a domino effect pushing Tina that sent all four skunks tumbling into the trap.

With a loud clang, the trap door slammed shut behind them, plunging the skunks into darkness as the sides and top of the cage dropped down.

"Don't spray! Don't spray!" George yelled, his voice muffled by the furry pile of his companions. "We'll get each other!"

"Get your tail out of my face!" Bart grumbled.

"That's not my tail," Tina replied indignantly.

As the skunks untangled themselves, they realized the gravity of their situation. They were trapped, with no idea what fate awaited them.

Little did they know, Jasper was watching from the shadows, a triumphant smile on his face. Phase one of Operation Skunk Works was complete.

The vampire moved swiftly, transferring the skunks from the trap to a small trunk he had procured for this very purpose. He had opted for the trunk instead of a suitcase, realizing that four skunks required more space than he had initially anticipated.

As Jasper carried the trunk to the predetermined spot on the road between Forks and the Quileute reservation, the skunks inside engaged in a lively debate.

"I told you it was suspicious," Bart grumbled. "No, replied Tina, "you said it smelled fishy."

"Oh, shut it," George snapped. "You were just as eager for those sausages as the rest of us."

Fred, always the optimist, chimed in, "Look on the bright side, at least we're all together!"

"Yeah," Tina added sarcastically, "because being trapped in a dark box with three smelly males is exactly how I wanted to spend my evening."

Their bickering was interrupted by a sudden jolt as Jasper set the trunk down on the road. The skunks fell silent, straining their ears to catch any clue about their surroundings.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality only about an hour, the skunks picked up a new scent.

"Hey Fred," George whispered, "do you smell that?"

Fred sniffed the air cautiously. "Yeah, what did you fart for?"

"Not that, you nitwit!" George hissed. "Sniff outside the box."

There was a moment of silence as all four skunks focused their olfactory senses on the world beyond their confinement.

"You smell that?" Bart asked, a note of confusion in his voice.

"Yeah," Tina replied slowly. "It smells like... um... wet dog?"

"No," George said, his voice filled with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. "It smell like coyote!" Bart sniffing again said "it smell like Crow" "No," George said "It smell like Quileute" Tina joining in the argument "you all wrong, it wet dog!" Bart inhaling deeply said "it smell like Crow" "No," George said "It smell like Quileute" "Crow!" "wet dog!" "Coyote! "Quileute!"

Meanwhile, outside the trunk, four members of the Quileute pack on patrol had stumbled upon the box in the middle of the road.

Paul, overseeing the patrol, approached the box cautiously. Taking a closer look he exclaimed "Hey this is an old steamer trunk. It's addressed to a place called Big Sky Deli." "What do you think is in it?" he asked, circling it warily.

"Could be anything," Jared replied, sniffing the air. "It doesn't smell like a leech trick."

"Maybe it's a gift?" Seth suggested optimistically, earning eye rolls from his pack mates.

Embry, always the voice of reason, said, "I think something smells fishy. We should probably move it off the road, at least. It could cause an accident."

Paul nodded in agreement. "Alright, let's move it to the forest and then decide what to do with it."

As the four Quileutes carried the trunk into the woods, the skunks inside held a hushed conversation.

"We're moving," Fred whispered excitedly.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Tina retorted. "The question is, where are they taking us?"

"Wherever it is," George said grimly, "I have a feeling we're not going to like it."

Once in the forest, Paul faced a dilemma. "Should we take it back to the res or open it here?"

After a brief discussion, curiosity won out. "Let's open it here," Paul decided. "If it's something dangerous, better to deal with it away from the tribe."

As Paul reached for the latch, the skunks inside tensed, ready for action.

"Here's the plan," "360 degree formation at 90 degree intervals, on my signal shoot and swing to the right." Fred whispered urgently. "Wait for my signal, we give 'em the old one-two!"

The moment the trunk lid cracked open, chaos erupted. Four furry bottoms faced the unsuspecting Quileutes, and with a synchronized "Now!" from Fred, the skunks unleashed their potent defense mechanism.

The forest filled with yelps of surprise and disgust as Paul, Jared, Seth, and Embry were doused in the pungent spray. They staggered back, gagging and retching, while the triumphant skunks made their escape.

"Freedom!" Bart cried jubilantly as they scampered into the underbrush.

"Take that, you mangy mutts!" Tina added with a victorious cackle.

"Did you see the look on the face of the short one" George laughed

As the skunks disappeared into the night, the four unfortunate pack members were left to deal with the aftermath of their encounter.

"This is worse than the time I got sprayed as a kid," Seth moaned, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the noxious liquid from his eyes.

"How are we going to explain this to Sam?" Jared wondered, his voice muffled as he pinched his nose closed.

Paul, his eyes watering and his pride wounded, growled, "This has Cullen written all over it. They're the only ones who'd pull a stunt like this."

Embry, always the pragmatist, sighed heavily. "Well, whatever we do, we can't go back to the res smelling like this. We'd stink up the whole place."

As the Quileutes debated their next move, little did they know that they had an audience. High up in the trees, safely out of smelling range, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose watched the scene unfold with varying degrees of amusement.

Emmett was doubled over with silent laughter, his whole body shaking with mirth. Rose, trying to maintain her composure, couldn't help the smirk that played on her lips. And Jasper, the mastermind behind it all, wore an expression of immense satisfaction.

"I can't believe it actually worked," Rose whispered, her voice tinged with admiration.

"Never doubt the power of skunks and Vienna sausages," Jasper replied with a wink.

Emmett, finally regaining control of himself, clapped Jasper on the back. "Brother, I think you've just won our little game. There's no topping this, maybe"

As they watched the Quileutes stumble off in search of a way to neutralize the skunk spray, the vampires couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy. But only a twinge.

"Should we feel bad?" Rose asked, though her tone suggested she already knew the answer.

"Nah," Emmett replied with a grin. "They'll be fine. Besides, it's all in good fun."

Jasper nodded in agreement. "And who knows? Maybe this will lead to some much-needed tension relief between our families."

As the vampires made their way home, reveling in the success of their prank, the four skunks regrouped in a nearby clearing.

"Well, that was quite an adventure," George said, puffing out his chest proudly.

"You can say that again," Bart agreed. "I haven't had that much excitement since the great garbage can raid of '22."

Tina, ever the romantic, sighed dreamily. "You know, in a weird way, I'm going to miss those Quileute boys. They had a certain... rugged charm."

Fred, always ready with a quip, nudged her playfully. "Careful there, Tina. I hear relationships between skunks and werewolves are frowned upon in polite society."

As they all shared a laugh, Fred suddenly straightened up, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You know what this calls for, don't you?"

The other three looked at him expectantly.

"A victory march!" Fred declared.

And with that, the four skunks lined up, ready to celebrate their triumph in true skunk fashion.

Fred, taking the lead, began to sing:

"Hi, Ho, Lock and load,"

The others joined in, their voices rising in the night air:

"(Hi, Ho, Lock and load,)"

George continued:

"Noses are twitching, off to breakfast we go"

"("noses are twitching, off to breakfast we go")"

As they marched through the forest, their spirited cadence echoed among the trees:

"Spray the enemy take control, (Spray the enemy take control,) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)"

The skunks' voices grew more enthusiastic as they reached the chorus:

"Grasshoppers on the hill, (grasshoppers on the hill,) Hoppers taste great on the grill (Hoppers taste great on the grill) When the enemy come around 'lift your tail and turn around', (When the enemy come around 'lift your tail and turn around',) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)"

Their paws stepped in perfect rhythm as they continued their victory march:

"Give a wink and hose 'em down, (Give a wink and hose 'em down,) Moving by without a sound, (Moving by without a sound,) Locks and loads a single round, (Locks and loads a single round,) So early, so early, so early in the morning (Hey! Hey! Woo! So early, so early, so early in the morning)"

As they neared the end of their impromptu parade, their voices swelled for the final chorus:

With a final flourish, the skunks ended their march, their chests puffed out with pride. They had faced capture, outwitted their captors, and emerged victorious. As far as they were concerned, they were the unsung heroes of the forest, ready to face whatever adventure came their way next.

As dawn broke over the forest, casting a golden glow through the trees, the four skunks made their way back to their respective homes. They knew that their escapade would become the stuff of legend, told and retold in burrows and dens for generations to come.

Meanwhile, in the Cullen household, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose shared knowing smiles. Their game of truth or dare had reached new heights, and they couldn't wait to see what challenge would come next. But for now, they were content to bask in the glory of a prank well played, secure in the knowledge that they had created a memory that would last for eternity - or at least as long as the skunk smell lingered on the unfortunate four odorous pack members.

And so, as the sun rose higher in the sky, life in Forks returned to its version of normal. The vampires went about their immortal lives, the werewolves searched desperately for tomato juice baths, and four skunks dreamed of Vienna sausages and future adventures. In the grand scheme of things, it was just another day in the supernatural world of Forks, Washington - but one that would be remembered, for better or for worse, by all involved.

The end... or is it just the beginning of more malodorous mayhem?