BPOV
"You've no idea how disgusted I'm right now..." He said as his expressions changed suddenly.
What?
"What happened?" I asked.
"What happened?" He chuckled, "I can't believe you're asking me that! I can't believe how fucking stupid I have been!"
"Edward... What's wrong?" I asked.
Why was he acting like this?
"So let me see if I can get it correctly..." He said, "You thought... If you have me by your side, it'd be easy to get back to Emmett and Jasper... Whatever the fucking shit that 'getting back' means!" He said angrily.
"I..."
How did he figure that out?
Oh, maybe because I mentioned that just five minutes back?
"If you ever needed anything from me... All you had to do was fucking ask me!" He almost shouted, "You'd have gotten everything you wanted from me! What was the need for all this shit? Shit! I mean... We're fucking married now! Rosalie was right... I fucking made a mistake! I should have used my brains... I should have stopped!"
Rosalie?
He wanted to... stop?
Did he figure something out earlier?
"Why would you do all this shit?" He asked, "Like... Why would you do this? I thought I knew you... I thought you are just not capable of playing with anyone's feelings or using someone... But I guess I was wrong!"
"Look..." I said, "I..."
I didn't really know how to respond to this...
He looked so hurt... I had never seen him like this before...
I knew I might need to face this someday, but I wasn't ready...
"I'm... I'm sorry..." I said.
"Sorry for what exactly?" He asked.
"I..." I didn't really know what to say. I knew whatever I said was never going to be enough, because there was no proper justification anyway!
"I... When I started, yes... I didn't have pure intentions in my heart... But things changed..." I said.
"No, it didn't change... Or you wouldn't have said 'The ball in my court' on our fucking wedding night! So give me a break, and don't give me this bullshit of things fucking changed!" He shouted.
"I..."
Why did I say that?
I wasn't thinking about them at all in the last few days... I was just happy and excited for our marriage... For the new beginnings... For spending the rest of my life with him...
But then that one stupid post from Jasper and that made me angry and just brought back so many fucking painful memories, so I said... Alright, I'd get back to them... The ball was in my court... But I swear, that wasn't the only thing on my mind... Things had changed...
But how do I explain this to him?
He wasn't going to believe anything I told him at the moment...
"Things changed..." I said, "I didn't know you loved me when I started this crap... I thought you were an asshole like them... But then..."
"But then you knew everything..." He said, "And yet you didn't bother to say anything!"
"I thought about it..." I said, "When you... When you proposed... I wondered if I should come clean... But then I chickened out... And I thought... Maybe I just got lucky for once... And then I said yes... And things happened too quickly after that..." I suddenly felt my eyes brimming up with tears...
Yeah, I really thought I got lucky to have him in my life who loved me and understood me unlike anyone else... I was learning to love him back...
"Shut up! Don't give me that crap!" He said angrily, "We are not in Vegas. We didn't get married overnight! There was plenty of time to come clean... More than plenty of time!"
"Edward... Please... I know you're hurt, but... I'm really sorry..." I was crying now.
"Just shut up!" He shouted.