Thank you for the support so far! I have written ahead a chapter or so, which means I can space the chapters out somewhat over the next few uploads. If anyone has any thoughts on the plot so far, feel free to comment!

Again, thanks for reading, enjoy chapter 5!

19.

The knock was gentle, so much so Carina barely heard it at first. She was watching Maya's respirator valves. Filling. Emptying. Filling. Emptying. Breathing.

"Hey Carina," Andy offered as she led the team in, a navy SFD duffel bag in her hand. She placed it against the wall and gave Carina a hug.

Once everyone had filed in, they took positions quietly. Warren, unable to help himself went and read the different monitors, Travis and Vic sat at the chairs to Bishop's right, Vic half leaning on Travis, Ruiz assessed the room first, before sitting on the other side of Vic, Sullivan leant against the bench to the right of the bathroom, Gibson stood closest to the door, arms folded seriously.

"Is she, like, ok?" Jack eventually asked.

"Mhm, they had to do a liver resection, but they are confident she will be fine," Carina was brief, she realised she was very thirsty. 'Have I eaten today?' She asked herself.

"Do you need a break?" Travis asked, "You could go shower, get something from the cafeteria?"

Carina felt fixed in place, 'how could she leave?'

"Yeah she's probably the safest she could get right now," Warren gestured to the room with a positive expression, hoping to encourage her to take some time.

"I shouldn't, what if, I, ah, I don't know," Carina lacked confidence, she felt she had no idea what to do about anything.

"That's a great idea," Amelia appeared, having seen the A shift team walking in from the car park. "I am here to take you for a shower and a snack, you need to look after yourself to look after Bishop." Her tone was warm, but without negotiation. Carina made her way to the door, taking in her wife again before leaving with her friend.

Once the door closed the conversation grew, "She looks like shit," Ruiz stated, to raised eyebrows he added, "I mean what happened out there? Are PD onto it?"

Sullivan scoffed quietly, not adding any words to his thoughts.

"Look our role here isn't to solve this, it is just to be here for Bishop and Carina," Herrera responded, naturally taking the leadership role.

"She's going to be a mess when she learns she's out till she recovers," Vic solemnly added, the room's atmosphere seemed to brace itself, everything thinking, to the varying degrees they were aware, of Bishop's recent mental health battles.

"And we will support her through that as well, c'mon guys," Herrera looked around the room, "If this was an injury on the job we wouldn't be talking like this, she will get back out there, this is Bishop we are talking about," She spoke with more confidence than she possessed, and with more knowledge of what had happened than the rest, but needed the group to be more uplifted.

"How serious is a liver resection Warren?" Gibson asked, half changing the subject.

"Depends," Warren folded his arms, "On how big of a resection they did, and any other internal injuries, but more than a few months for sure. But she came in healthy, so that always helps."

A silence fell, everyone processing the information, watching their teammate lying on her bed, eyes closed, ventilator mask breathing for her.

19.

"Amelia, I am not this hungry," Carina protested. Amelia had made her shower, then taken her across the road to a local deli, ordered two fruit smoothies, one large sandwich, and some hot, salty fries.

"Then eat what you can, but you cannot forget about yourself in all this," Amelia nodded and grinned, taking one of the smoothie straws in her mouth.

Carina moved a chip around the bowl, slowly ate one, then two, then half the bowl. She didn't feel hungry, but surprised herself that she was able to eat for so long without feeling full. One smoothie, a bowl of fries, and nearly a whole sandwich later she swilled an espresso, watching the small layer of foam dance around the cup.

"Did I ever tell you about my pet lizard?" Amelia asked suddenly.

"Ah, your what?" Carina glanced up quickly.

A classic Shepherd smirk was followed by a story of 11 year old Amelia finding a lizard at the park, storing it in her pencil case and taking it home, keeping it for several years on a diet of fish food, skittles, and insects she could find outside.

Carina laughed at the skittles, "What was it's name?"

"Arnold," She admitted, which caused more laughter, "I wasn't the brightest kid," She chuckled.

Carina finished her drink and put the cup down, "What happened to Arnold?"

"I don't know, I went on a bender for a couple of weeks when I turned 14, when I came back he was gone. I think Derek let him go, but I never asked," Her tone changed. They had gotten closer when Andrea had died, both bonding over losing a brother. Amelia hadn't told Carina about waking up to a dead fiancé, but hoped they wouldn't have to bond over that also.

After a long pause Carina quietly said, "I am scared for Maya, when she wakes up she will have so much pain to process." The police had come by not long after morning rounds, getting statements from Maya's doctors and Carina, saying they would be back when Maya woke for more evidence.

"Yeah but she's a badass, it'll be hard, who's that psychologist from SFD again?"

"Diane, I should find her contact, so she's ready when Maya is ready."

Amelia added, "Plus she has you, and that big station family everyone at the hospital is jealous of." Carina chuckled, at a recent potluck at the Bailey's several of the doctors gushed that they wished the hospital had the tightness they could see with the first responders, even more visible now two of their staff were married into that family.

"Can we go back now? I really need to be with her," Carina asked, having spotted the time on her phone.

"Of course, but I am finding you everyday and we are leaving that hospital, spending time outside, you need to make sure you are healthy also."

They paid and took the short walk back to Grey Sloan in silence, crossing paths with Bailey on their way, who said she was coming up to see about taking Maya off the ventilator.

19.

"Call me if you think of anything else you need," Andy smiled as she closed the door on Bishop's room. Carina, Bailey, and Yasuda remained.

"Right now Carina I am going to treat you like a patient's family right now, not a doctor, ok?" Miranda asked, needing to separate the two roles Carina held in this situation.

Carina nodded, "Ok."

Yasuda stepped forward, more confident now working with the wife of someone , instead of someone she wanted to impress, "Alright Dr De Luca, ah Carina, please if you could sit over here, while we check if she is breathing over the ventilator." Yasuda gestured to one of the chairs to Bishop's right.

Bailey injected something into Bishop's port, Yasuda taking out the IV bag that was attached. It had contained fluids and a sedative. The two doctors read some of the data from the ventilator, and some of the other sensors.

"She should start waking up shortly, I prefer taking the vent out once they are awake, so they can cough and clear any mucus that accumulates," Bailey explained.

Carina felt she could barely breathe, again wishing there was someone else here with her. She felt like everyone was here for Maya, and felt selfish to wish for someone to be there just for her.

It was the heart rate monitor that first showed increased signs of consciousness, the slow, steady beating began to rise. Maya's eyebrows pushed together, eyes not open she swatted a hand up towards her mouth, fingers brushing against the mask.

"Bishop, Bishop, you're at Grey Sloan on a ventilator, we want to remove it-" Bailey was cut off by Maya properly waking up, trying to sit up, hand reaching for the oxygen tube of the mask, eyes darting around the room, looking both scared and overwhelmed.

"Bella, bella!" Carina was now standing, trying to give Maya something to focus on. Tears sat in her eyes.

Bailey paused, then nodded at Yasuda, who had one hand on Maya's chest, one on her right hand, keeping it from the tube. In one swift movement Bailey undid the mask, turned off the machine, and slid the tube out of Bishop's mouth. The room's tension broken by Maya's quiet coughing, trying to clear her throat, but immediately calming down now she could breath herself.

"Wha-, Carina?" Maya asked, her voice hoarse from the tubing. She looked very tired.

Carina stepped around Yasuda, settling in place next to her wife, holding her hand, taking in her whole face for the first time since she had arrived last night. "I'm right here, I'm not leaving," She repeated, being reminded of the last time they had been in this position in hospital.

"Bishop you are at Grey Sloan, you came in last night. We had to do emergency surgery, I can fill you in on all those details in a moment, but you are safe, and you are going to recover from this. Shepherd should be here shortly to do a neuro exam." Bailey explained, glancing at Yasuda, who tapped something onto her tablet.

Maya nodded, her whole body gravitating to Carina's, her spare hand reaching to feel the thick bandages over her abdomen.

"I will be back later and check your incision site and redo your dressings, but for now, rest," Bailey finished. They both gave smiles and left.

The door latched close and Carina let out a shaky breath, she opened her mouth to say something, but couldn't find the words.

"Carina, I'm so sorry-" Maya began.

"No bella, this is not your fault, I- ah," Then the tears began to fall. It was like every held emotion had found their way out of Carina as the sobs started. Maya carefully moved to one side of the bed, making space for Carina to climb up there. She cried into her wife's shoulder for a while, feeling the stress, fear, and panic of the past few days drain out of her.

After she had finished she glanced and noticed the big wet patch on the hospital gown, "Ah I am sorry bella, I will ask a nurse for a new one," She went to get up only for Maya to hold her closer.

"Can we sleep first?" She asked, voice laced with tiredness.

"Si, rest bella, I've got you."

19.

The cable ties dug into her wrists. They were just loose enough to allow some movement, which meant they had rubbed dark red lines around the base of her hands. Her back stung from being dragged across the forest floor. Closer to their camp. Closer to their tents. Here the ground was smoother, leaf litter having been trodden into the cool, damp earth by footsteps. She tried to raise her hands in protection but they were held down, soft, thick, white, hospital restraints pinning them to her sides.

Maya woke with a short gasp. Feeling her chest pounding slightly she glanced and noted that Carina was still asleep next to her. She leant back in the pillow, feeling the short burst of panic begin to subside, noticing that the case had been replaced with her silk one from home. A gift from Vic a couple of years ago when she had cut her hair short and found it went frizzy very easily without the extra weight. As she leant back she could feel a bandage on the back of her head, it pulled her hair slightly.

She watched, through the gaps in the blinds, hospital staff walking past. Nurses, technicians, cleaners, support staff, doctors, and wondered where her place at the station would be.

She had tried so hard to not be as focused on her rank within SFD, to let her aspirations also include her personal life, but could feel the panic of falling behind her own expectations rise.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Amelia entered, with a tall, Asian resident, Maya faintly reading Kwan on his coat. The knock woke Carina, who muttered something in groggy Italian before realising there was company. She smiled with slight embarrassment and slid off the bed, stretching and pulling her hair off her face. Glad the wet patch on Maya's gown wasn't obvious anymore.

"Glad to see you're awake, Dr Kwan here is just going to take you through a short neuro exam, with me watching." Shepherd calmly stated.

Maya nodded and pulled herself more upright, the bed having been shifted into a 'sitting' position earlier that morning.

"Hello Maya, I am Dr Kwan," He stood at the end of the bed, and pulled the sheet up off Maya's feet, he squeezed each foot, "Can you feel this?" A nod. "And this?" Another nod. The whole thing made Maya very uncomfortable but she nodded quietly and moved as asked, passing the exam easily.

While it happened Amelia quietly said, "Also glad to see you're sleeping," To her friend. Carina smiled shyly.

Kwan turned and nodded to the Head of Neuro, "All clear."

"Excellent. That is good, I am officially clearing you from neuro," Shepherd grinned, "We have more rounds to do, but I will come back here during my lunch break, and take you," She gestured at Carina, "To the deli."

Carina half rolled her eyes, Maya fiddled with her hands. The doctors turned and left.

Noting the tension all of her wife Carina asked, "What's wrong bella?"

Maya half shrugged, "This is all a lot," She could feel her hands getting sweaty and her breathing quickening.

Seeing what was happening Carina quickly sat on her bed facing her, "Hey, hey, that's ok, everyone here just wants to help. I don't have to go out for lunch today."

Shaking her head Maya replied, "No it's just," She sighed and looked away, "This is all a lot," She repeated, feeling defeated by her lack of words.

"What do you need bambina?" Carina gently asked, sensing Maya's feeling of being overwhelmed. When she didn't get a reply she added, "I thought about emailing Diane, seeing if she if free to come down? How do you feel about that?" Conversations around Maya's mental health had always been hard, so she found herself nervous for the response to the suggestion.

Maya paused, "I don't know, I don't know what to do about anything right now."

Carina nodded, "That's ok, you don't need to know yet." She shuffled down the bed, resuming her position next to her wife, holding her as she rested.

19.

"So ma'am, if you could start at the beginning, what exactly happened?" The police officer asked. One stood at the end of the bed, hands in her pockets, the second, who asked the question, stood to Maya's left, notepad in hand.

They had come shortly after Bailey had redressed Bishop's abdomen. She had also removed the one on her head, happy it didn't need to be covered anymore. Yasuda had then, using an iodine swab, touched up the small grazes and cuts to Maya's arms, legs, and shoulder, just to try prevent any additional infection. Carina sat to Maya's right, on a chair, holding her hand.

Bishop cleared her throat sharply, "Uh well I was running out to the reservoir, along the Spruce Trail, and met one hunter at the reservoir. He seemed a bit weird, but otherwise I didn't think much of it. Then on the way back to the car park I tripped on a log over the trail and landed on my knee. Another hunter came out to help me." She didn't make eye contact with either officer, instead fiddling with the tag on her blanket.

After some writing of notes the officer asked, "And these two hunters, can you describe them, did you catch any details?"

"Ah one was tall and skinny, with uh bad teeth. The other was shorter, heavier, and was bald with a beard," She swallowed carefully, feeling queasy.

"Did you catch a name, or anything else like an accent?"

She half shrugged, feeling Carina's thumb on the back of her hand she replied, "Uhm one had a name like Ronny or Jimmy, and they both sounded like they weren't from Seattle. The tall one had a tattoo of an eagle on his forearm." She swallowed again, feeling clammy and hot, like the room's air was suddenly humid.

"So two hunters, then what happened?" The officer asked, her tone softer.

A pang of pain shot through Maya's abdomen, her eyebrows tensed, she went to ask if they could stop, but wanted to get this done, "One knocked me out, I woke up at their campsite and eventually I got away and they shot at me and I wound up here," She quickly stammered out.

"Did they do anything to you?"

Carina could feel herself tensing, bracing for impact.

To her surprise Maya shook her head, "N-no, I must've gotten away too soon."

The officers glanced between themselves, "Ok, thank you very much ma'am, we will get in touch if we have any follow up questions, if you remember anything, please don't hesitate to get in touch," There was an implied tone as they exited and Carina studied Maya's face closely, trying to decide if she should say anything.

19.

The rest of the day was filled with various resident and doctor check-ups, Carina opted to have Amelia pick up some lunch from the deli, which they ate in the room with Maya, who stirred around a pottle of yoghurt from her lunch tray. Andy came and visited, bringing a card and some flowers from the station, plus one of the firefighter teddy bears they give children at scenes. No one spoke about what had actually happened to Maya, and she didn't bring it up. Carina silently deciding a day of solace from talking about it was fine. She emailed Diane after lunch while Maya slept. Diane replied quickly, saying she was free the next afternoon.

Carina asked for a bathing kit to be brought up to the room when Andy left. A nurse wheeled in a small tub with some warm water, some soap, a cleaning cloth and a small towel. It wasn't a shower, but it would help. Carina closed the blinds fully, and locked the door with her staff key, 'doctor perk' she thought to herself. Maya's hair would have to wait, but Carina was able to pull it into a thick braid, which would hopefully keep it from getting too knotty, and out of Maya's face.

She opened up the new gown, "You know in a day or so you can just wear your normal clothes."

Maya had been quiet since the police had been, and seemed to reply out of trying to keep the tension low, "Yeah, that'll be good."

Carina could tell she wasn't in the mood for a conversation, but kept going, "I can text Andy and she can get some things, you can borrow some of the maternity pants I keep in my office, so there's no pressure on your incision site?"

Maya nodded, hand instinctively reaching for her stomach, "Good idea," She quietly agreed. Wincing as Carina helped her lean forward so she could take the gown off her, which was quickly thrown in the bin. Carina made sure the blanket stayed over Maya as she used the damp cloth to wipe away any of the dirt or sweat on her wife. The bandage covered from just below her belly button to just below her chest, and was a little wider than Carina's hand. She started by handing a cloth to Maya, who wiped her face and neck with it. Carina then continued down, wiping her back, chest, underarms, and legs, before handing the cloth back to Maya who did her arms. They worked in silence. Maya's eyes never reaching Carina's.

When they finished Carina helped her into a fresh gown, and pulled out some clean socks from the SFD duffel bag.

"There, all clean," Carina smiled, wheeling the gear back by the door, unlocking it while she was there. Maya shifted uncomfortably, "How is your pain? You are probably due for more pain killers around now?"

"It's not too bad," Maya quickly replied.

Carina went to argue but instead the door opened and Yasuda appeared, she could tell she was interrupting something, but drove forward instead "I have your fluids. These also have broad spectrum antibiotics and some pain relief," She carried the clear bag in, hanging it above Maya's bed. She worked quickly, and efficiently.

"Do you need anything else?" She asked once she was finished.

Maya shook her head, leaning back into her bed more. Yasuda smiled at them both then left.

"Bella if you want to talk-"

"I actually just want to sleep, I'm tired from nothing," Maya replied with a frustrated tone.

Carina sat in the seat next to her, "You are tired from healing, this is the biggest thing your body needs to do right now. This is not nothing." She could tell Maya was heading downwards in her head, and was hoping Diane's visit would help that.

Maya didn't reply but pressed the button to lower her bed, she didn't bring it all the way back, just enough so she wasn't sitting upright completely.

Carina moved her head to catch her wife's eye contact, "And this isn't your fault."

Again Maya didn't reply, just gave a slight smile and nodded, squeezing Carina's hand she closed her eyes.

19.

"Theo where are you going?" Vic asked, she had arrived home from a walk to find Theo lacing his running shoes.

With a serious expression he replied, "Off for a run," It was not an odd occurrence, but Vic sensed something was off.

"Ok, where to? Do you want company?" She put down her bag, taking out some fresh fruit and putting it on the counter.

Theo did a small shake of the head, standing up, "Nah you're all right, Montgomery is coming."

Vic stood facing her boyfriend, trying to not get frustrated, "And where are you both going?"

Travis rounded the corner from the hallway with a grin, which he quickly stifled when he saw Vic's expression. He glanced at Theo, letting him take the lead.

"Out to the reservoir," Ruiz stated, holding up his hands as Vic began to protest, "I need to see it for myself, see if PD missed anything."

Travis pulled a tight smile, "We will be fine, and won't be more than maybe 3 hours."

"And why didn't I get the invite to this trip?" Vic was genuinely curious, but also a little hurt.

"Not now Vic, c'mon me and Trav want to go for a run, and we may as well go out there," Theo was starting to sound annoyed. He hadn't expected Vic to be back so soon, and wasn't ready for this discussion.

"Why don't you go visit Bishop?" Travis asked, trying to smooth the atmosphere.

Vic rubbed her forehead and nodded, still looking irritated, "Yeah sure, enjoy your run." She stepped to the side and the two men left, jumping in Ruiz's car for the short drive to the trail head. Vic looked around the living room before grabbing her phone and texting Carina, asking if they were up for a visitor.

19.

It was overcast by the time Ruiz and Montgomery had started their run, they decided to go all the way to the reservoir in one go, then slowly go back to the car park and look for anything the police may need for evidence. The trail was open, and there were a couple of vehicles parked there, but not many. They passed two dog walkers, and an older couple with hiking gear on as they made their way up. While it looked quite beautiful on the trail, they both felt tense, like they were moving through sacred ground. They reached the reservoir in a little over an hour and a half. Travis, puffing slightly more than Ruiz, offered half a muesli bar he had bought up. Theo taking it with a quiet nod.

"It's weird aye, feels like nothing happened here," Ruiz noted, glancing towards the older hikers who had arrived and were having afternoon tea at a bench opposite them.

Travis nodded, "Do you know if Maya made it up here?"

He shrugged, "I think so, I think she came up and then it all happened on the way down?"

"Yeah, so messed up," Travis threw a stone into the water, "Just out trying to enjoy herself."

Ruiz seemed angry, and thew a larger rock much further out into the water, "Makes me scared, you know, for Vic. It could've been her."

"Well it was Andy," Montgomery quietly added. They both made eye contact. They had struggled after Andy was attacked, feelings of guilt and shame about not being there to help, and then embarrassment around being drunk when they did show up. This was partially why they both felt the need to go out to the trail, to try and help. They threw a few more stones, walked quietly around the perimeter, before having a quick sip of water and slowly starting to jog back down. They got nearly halfway back when Ruiz stopped suddenly around a sharp bend, Travis nearly colliding with him.

"What's up?" He asked, puffing slightly.

Ruiz pointed, there was a log that had been pushed off the track, it was pressing against a bush, with the leaves and branches showing it hadn't been there long. There was also a small path pushed between the underbrush, where someone had walked into the bush.

He looked back at Travis, "Andy said they used a tree log to trip her up right?"

Travis nodded seriously, getting out his phone and putting a pin on the map, they both slowly began walking down the narrow track into the bush.

19.

There we go, Chapter 5 done! Hope you enjoyed it.

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