Envy, one of the seven deadly sins. It's certainly deserving to be known as one of the ugly human aspects that everyone embodies.

It's an emotion that comes about from jealousy towards others and feelings of inadequacy towards oneself. When one person lacks something they desire, they seek to take it from those they believe to have it. Whether that feeling of desire is acted upon or not, envy is the very root of it.

In fact, I see people act envious all the time. Whether it be towards one student who far outperformed the other students, Minami Sagami towards Yukinoshita during the cultural festival, or when a social outcast observes a riajuu interacting with a large group and tells them to 'go explode and die'.

Hm? What did you just say? That last point sounds like something I would do? Ridiculous. How could I, the very paragon of a perfectly well adjusted young man with no hang ups, be envious of riajuus? That would suggest that I would even want to have those social abilities that they possess. Additionally, how could I be envious of someone so far beneath my notice that I can't help but want to curse them?

Joking aside, I'm not that unaware of my own faults. My dislike for riajuus does stem from their sociability and their shallowness, it would stand to reason that envy would be part of those feelings.

It's… difficult for me to admit but I do desire proper connection with others. For people like Hayato to wear a mask in order to fake their way to shallow connections, envy is only a small part of my perspective for it's vastly overshadowed by an enormous feeling of disgust towards him.

But it's envy nonetheless.

When I was younger, envy was a common feeling for me. I was isolated with no real friendships so I looked at others and desired companionship, I seeked it out only to get rejected and bullied. I had wanted a proper youth filled with happy childhood memories but I never did. I looked at others in desire for what they had. I had a deep dissatisfaction with myself.

The majority of those feelings eventually died as I grew older. Apathy and cynicism became the way I dealt with them and those aspects started to become a part of who I am. The origin of my current personality is rooted from former envy.

Despite all of that personal experience on the subject of this deadly sin, I already know it's not enough to deal with my current situation.

The feelings of envy that this creature feels towards others radiates out in a way that is impossible to ignore.

So it's immediately obvious to me that any sort of experience I had dealing with envy is easily dwarfed by that of the very existence of the Leviathan.

"HUMANS, WHERE IS THAT POWER?"

The water that surrounded me and Yamato became even more turbulent and agitated as the gigantic serpentine demon words echoed out towards us.

My monologue earlier was purely regarding envy and trying to work through my experience on it to see how I would apply it to my current situation. Maybe even use words and reasoning like I've done for some of the requests for the service club. Unfortunately I'm also dealing with something that I'm vastly underprepared for, seeing how powerful and ginormous the Leviathan is. If I was just trying to deal with a situation involving envy, that would be one thing. But I'm also dealing with a demon that can accidentally kill me by covering an area with an enormous amount of water.

Damn that gigolo. What the hell am I supposed to do to get out of this situation? What kind of skewed expectations does that guy have of me? I wouldn't be surprised if he killed the majority of people that he had an interest in because of some twisted desire to test them!

That bastard should already know that I'm completely outmatched, if I couldn't even do anything towards him then I wouldn't be able to scratch this Leviathan either. And surely that gigolo wouldn't actually put me into a situation that's impossible to escape from right? That would directly contradict what he had said to me before he disappeared. Right!? He didn't falsely imply that I had the ability to escape from this situation just to watch me struggle in an impossible situation, right!?!?

I have to grasp upon that line of logic lest I lose myself in despair and curse that potentially disguised demon wearing a suit until the very moment I die, which is likely soon. In fact, if I do end up dying I swear I will haunt him so that he will be constantly besieged with minor inconveniences! I'll have him trip on litter that he didn't see, lose his favorite book, misplace his wallet in a different pocket, and various other accidents that he'll attribute to his own clumsy mistakes!

"ANSWER!"

The sudden shout from the serpentine demon had indicated that it had run out of patience while I was panicking while trying to figure a way out of this situation and trying to not drown myself.

The air rippled from the pressure that came from the Leviathan's shout.

My own breath caught in my throat as I felt the waves of power ripple across my body and from the water.

I need to calm down, I can't lose myself to such cheap intimidation. If it wasn't from such a vastly powerful demon, I wouldn't be so worried or scared.

The Leviathan is clearly used to getting its way, all it likely needs to do is just stare down others and they will fold immediately. It lacks any nuance or skill in the way they articulate themselves. There's no convincing or some sort of scheming, simply sheer power and the very threat of it.

The sounds of the rain and crashing waves caused by the storm that the Leviathan had created were overwhelming. In order to be heard I forced myself to shout, "He had already left a while ago!"

"WHAT? THAT NUISANCE DARES TO ISSUE A CHALLENGE AND THEN LEAVE!"

"I have a grudge against him myself! I can help you by providing information!"

Did I really just say that? I sound like a minor antagonist of a light novel trying to get on the good side of a major antagonist so that he doesn't die!

The Leviathan tilted its head as if to have a proper look at me before it began to subtly shake, those small movements being all the more noticeable with its enormous size. It began to give a rumbling laugh that stretched out for a few moments as I felt the vibrations of it and its movements in the water.

Once the giant serpentine demon stopped laughing, its face twisted into what might be an approximation of a sneer.

"ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE WORK TOGETHER? I WOULD RATHER TAKE APART YOUR BRAIN FOR THE ANSWER!"

Its posture seemed to be getting more aggressive as it focused on the two of us swimming in the water.

Also I didn't directly suggest that? This is going to be difficult trying to navigate the Leviathan's inane ability to perceive whatever I say to something that would insult their sensibilities. Let's abandon the idea of helping it so that it would spare the two of us.

The self centeredness it exhibits does fit with envy. Anything it sees it would interpret in a way that it could twist towards envy. For that deadly sin to occur in the first place, it needs to start with a want towards something. Based on what the Leviathan says it seems to want my information but not any actual cooperation, in fact it might also actually want my brain too.

What if instead of trying to talk around an integral aspect of this demon, I lean into it?

I allowed false confidence to flow and a sneer of my own appeared on my face as I said, "My brain? Come on now, if you're so jealous of my smart human brain then just say it!"

Yamato turned his head in panic as he said, "Hikigaya-kun! W-what are you doing!? "

"Gambling."

Yamato looked flabbergasted and very panicked.

Well, no matter what I do it's a gamble. Against something that can easily kill us, there's not really any choice but to gamble on the low odds. I'm only trying to increase my chances by following the Leviathan's lead.

If it's going to interpret whatever I say negatively so that it can feel envy towards me then I'm not even going to bother trying to be inoffensive.

It can clearly feel envy regarding ridiculous things such as having information the Leviathan doesn't have. Who even feels information envy? I guess when people are left out of the loop of something?

"JEALOUS?! YOU HUMANS ARE FULL OF YOURSELVES!"

"Am I really!? It sure seems like you live a life filled with dissatisfaction! You want to take whatever you don't have!?"

Let's see how the Leviathan deals with aggression that directly pokes at their so-called deadly sin.

"I ONLY TAKE WHAT OTHERS DON'T DESERVE."

A classic justification for acting upon one's own envy. No actual denial. More of a clarification of its thoughts for what I had accused of it. The Leviathan actually calmed down while answering me this time. That's an interesting observation.

So far everything is lining up with the deadly sin that they seem to exude.

I'm starting to see the path I may need to steer this conversation in order to survive.

The next question is how does the Leviathan categorize its targets of envy? Is it just like a human's where they have multiple tiers for that emotion or is it that they constantly feel envy at the max towards everyone since they embody that concept?

"Well I certainly know that feeling! Bastards like that gigolo who had issued that challenge need to have their power taken!"

I need to play into the Leviathan's mindset. One that's comfortable targeting other's with the backing of its deadly sin. Familiar territory makes for more careless decisions, and I need every bit to help me in this conversation.

The giant serpentine's head loomed over me before speaking.

"YES, I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO SUBSUME BOTH THIS 'GIGOLO' AND HIS POWER."

"Well guess what? The gigolo has taken an interest in me and is apparently constantly watching me! He'll definitely show up again to talk to me!"

Probably.

"OH?"

"So all you have to do is just wait and watch me! You'll end up ensnaring a much more tempting target!"

The Leviathan took a pause to consider my words.

"THE CHANCE TO TAKE THE GIGOLO'S POWER IS MUCH MORE ENTICING THAN JUST THE SOULS OF TWO HUMANS."

Yes… take the bait you overgrown fish. Let me go and the next time I see you, I swear upon the Gigolo's life I'll be strong enough to make sashimi out of you.

"BUT YOUR SOULS MAY HAVE ENOUGH QUALITIES AND ENVIOUS DESIRES THAT IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF I CONSUME YOUR VERY BEINGS NOW."

What? No!

"Hold on!"

"I SHALL TEST YOU. LET ME SEE IF YOU CAN RESIST THE ENVY WITHIN YOUR HEART."

What the hell does it mean by that? And seriously, another test? First the gigolo and now the Leviathan.

Does the Leviathan not only seek what it feels envy towards but as well as the envious feelings of the victims themselves? That's an additional factor that would make humans like me even more enticing. Specifically humans that hold envious feelings towards others and have themselves many qualities that others would be envious of.

This would be an issue for myself, while I believe that I don't have many aspects that others would be jealous of, there are definitely things that I'm envious of, making me even more of an appealing target for the Leviathan to kill.

The question is how it's even going to test me. The implication seems to be that if I don't pass a certain threshold then I'm not yet worth consuming. Just like waiting for a piece of fruit to ripen before picking.

The Leviathan shifted once again, I felt the energy that erupted outwards.

It's preparing something, and the amount of energy feels comparable to what the gigolo had released.

"SUFFER UPON YOU THE WEIGHT OF YOUR ENVY."

The air changed.

An unnatural feeling spread across my body as my surroundings began to feel mute.

I could barely focus on floating in the water.

I could barely even focus on the person I was carrying.

There was only one thing in front of me.

I stare deep within the maw of the darkness as an unbelievable longing and desire erupts out of my chest.

The powerlessness that came from being confronted by the gigolo as I was at his mercy. What was I supposed to do? Talk, that's what I did. And what did that lead me to? Another life threatening situation. But if I had that power that the gigolo had shown to me, I wouldn't be pushed around and be so easily manipulated into doing what he wants!

I absentmindedly noticed that a large figure in front of me became closer.

The face of Hayama appears in my mind, the blonde bastard living a comfortable and popular life upon a mountain of lies. Creating surface level relationships that I can't help but want to have. Maintaining friendships by keeping the status quo and never having anything change, something that I detest… but it's also something that I desire for my own friendships. Even if I had denied that notion before, I know that I don't want anything to really change.

The figure got closer.

Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, a closeness between the two that I can never imitate. Why do they have such a close friendship when I've always been the third wheel? Yukinoshita even rejected my proposal of friendship with no hesitation.

Yukinoshita always has to help another person. To teach them how to solve their own problems in the perfect way. Doing something like that when I do social suicides to solve problems fills me with a feeling of resentment. And there's Yuigahama, she has such an easy time reading the room with Hayama's clique, able to respond appropriately when needed. Where was something like that when I was younger! When I got bullied and ostracized because of my inability to socialize!

The water currents became smoother and easier to traverse.

Yamato, I barely know him but he has that disgusting youth that he parades around with his whole clique. Doing everything that a typical highschooler is supposed to do. Maybe I should toss him into the dark maw that's staring at me directly.

He should switch places with me to see how he'll deal with being on the bottom of the school hierarchy. See what it's like in my shoe– Hold on a second. That doesn't seem right? Why would I be envious of someone who has just gotten out of a traumatic situation that disabled him? Why did I just want to give him to the creature in front of me? I mean… Nevermind, I shouldn't doubt my thought process.

The figure towers in front of me.

And there's Komachi… She–

Wait.

No. No!

She's my sister! It's the role of the older brother to take care and protect the younger sibling! I won't turn my resentment and jealousy towards her!

"Gah!"

I clenched my head with the hand that wasn't holding Yamato up.

What… the hell? I never felt something so wrong so strongly in my whole life!

It's a struggle to even think properly.

What… What can I do to stop the crawling envious thoughts that seem to pop up in my mind without any input?

An idea appeared in my mind. Pain.

I moved my hand away from my head up to my mouth and bit down. Hard.

A moment of clarity came from the different stimuli of the pain. The taste of metallic blood in my mouth was prominent as I forced myself to focus on something, anything else!

The guilt of being unable to prevent Yamato's injuries. The easy and enjoyable companionship I've obtained in the Service Club with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. The close relationship I have with Komachi where we constantly help and look out for each other.

My thoughts cycled back and forth between these sorts of recollections to prevent the feeling of envy to latch on to any specific memory.

The pressure from the mental assault eventually relented. My mind finally relaxed slightly from the relief.

I relaxed my jaw and let my bitten hand fall from my mouth. The throbbing pain and the taste of blood is a reminder that I shouldn't let my guard down. What just happened could happen again.

I can actually think of something else again. In fact, I can more accurately gauge my own thoughts without the constant influx of mental manipulation.

Those feelings and memories that had erupted from what the Leviathan had done. They were twisted in order for me to feel certain emotions but despite that, I know that they have a basis in reality. I know myself well enough that those aspects were just things that I hid away from myself to not be acknowledged.

What a scary ability the Leviathan has, it nearly made me throw Yamato into the gaping maw of the serpentine demon. And it did so by infiltrating my nearly non existent feelings of envy I had towards him.

There was also the desire for me to take what I was envious of. For some reason, I had the urge to throw myself at the Leviathan to let my whole body and soul be consumed in order to fulfill the aching yearning for what others had.

Giving myself up towards the Leviathan wouldn't have done anything for those desires either. The manipulation of its deadly sin somehow made me mentally form a connection between the two things. The idea of what could have happened to me and Yamato is immensely terrifying.

I didn't fall into such temptations of the deadly sin because of Yamato's situation and Komachi being who she is.

And looking at Yamato right now, he obviously did not handle the mental manipulation well. He was shivering and looked back and forth between me and the leviathan as if going through his thought process.

I'll set aside the rest of my self reflection and self deprecation for a future date because there's something really important I need to address right now.

Specifically, the Leviathan's face with a wide open mouth as if waiting for me to swim in. Close your mouth already! I'm no longer affected by your mind control bullshit! I assure you that I won't all of a sudden want to kill myself via large sea monster anytime soon!

"YOU RESISTED THE DEADLY SIN OF ENVY."

Its voice reverberated throughout my whole body, the demon's very existence being overwhelming for how much closer I am than I was before.

"I HAVE SEEN YOUR MEMORY AND YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. I WILL WAIT FOR WHEN THE GIGOLO COMES FOR YOU, AND WHEN YOU BECOME MORE ENVIOUS. FOR HUMANS SHALL ALWAYS FEEL THIS DEADLY SIN."

My memory? It saw my memories? What!? Is it able to see what I feel envious towards? It's ability is even more bullshit than I thought. It likely saw my encounter with the Gigolo and came to the conclusion that I wasn't bullshiting with my life on the line. Well, I was. I just happened to tell the truth as well.

And is it treating me like a farmable crop? It's going to wait for me to get more envious. Does that make me taste better or something?

The Leviathan turned its head as if dismissing me before the currents grew substantially rough. Water rushed all over both Yamato and me as it pushed us somewhere else.

A huge wave left a shadow over us.

"Holy Shi–!"

I gurgled as I choked on the water that I couldn't possibly have prepared for.

The faux ocean swallowed and enveloped our bodies as I could not see where we were going.

I couldn't tell how long we were pushed along by the waves but I already wanted it to be over. In fact the only reason I haven't drowned yet is because I was constantly thrown back up to the surface for air before shoved back down.

A heard a loud noise of broken glass before I felt myself thrown out of the water into the air.

I landed upon the ground with a pained grunt, "Aurgh, shit. That bastard."

I shook and coughed multiple times as I did my best fish on land impression. I certainly felt like I flopped around like one.

A noise caught my attention as I saw Yamato land right next to me, coughing as well. The portal behind him already closing shut.

I looked around and felt the atmosphere. Relief was immediate, and my body relaxed as I let myself flop onto the ground as exhaustion and lack of sleep caught up to me.

We were back to the normal Japan. The feeling that each dimension gives off is distinctive enough for me to tell.

Yamato is safe and we're no longer in danger.

My eyes began to close as I could faintly see the outline of someone in the distance.

I only had to deal with almost drowning twice but I'm already sick of it. I'm just going to sleep this whole situation off.

Thinking back on what happened, I just realized, I blurted out the nickname I had given that suit wearing bastard during that conversation with the Leviathan.

…Well, it's that gigolo's problem if he starts to become known as one since he never gave me his name.

My consciousness started to drift off as I vaguely heard the voice of someone close by.

That's something that I'll let future Hachiman deal with. Too tired to deal with more crap…

A/N

Word Count: 3706

Date Posted: July 13, 2024

I already posted this chapter on AO3 a couple of hours ago. Now that FF is back up, I'm posting this chapter through my phone since I'm not a position to do so with my computer. It's a bit of a pain.

I actually wanted to add more to the last part of this chapter but since I'm running out of time, I just ended it with Hachiman falling unconscious.

Finished SMT V Vengeance. Liked it more than the original. Liked the new Nahobino form more than the original too. However, I found that the actual ending routes for Canon of Vengeance to be not as interesting on a philosophical and meta level compared to the original endings. But besides that, I do prefer Vengeance.