Fresh from his debriefing on yet another senseless battle against insurgent forces, Suzaku was walking the streets of Shinjuku Ghetto and in deep thought. "It's all well and good to say we're going to change the world, but frankly we're a pair of angsty idiots with one advanced Knightmare, trying to outmaneuver some of the world's most brilliant schemers who've got the power of Geass and the resources of nations on their side..."
Don't play chess against a chessmaster, One said with the air of a wise mountain hermit. ...or at least, of an actor who could play one on stage. Play basketball instead! First we dribble all over the board, and then we DUNK on the sumbitches!
Suzaku shook his head, but smiled anyway. "The sad thing is that you're still better at chess than you are at basketball..."
Sure, but you're the supersoldier athlete with badass hand-eye coordination.
As they passed by a dilapidated warehouse, Suzaku suddenly stopped glanced around. "What's this feeling...?"
Translating anime visuals into real life isn't an exact science, but... it looks kind of like the place where C.C. made her contract with Lelouch.
Stepping forward to look inside through a Knightmare-sized hole in the wall, they quickly saw a formation of bullet holes in the opposite wall, around the faint outline of where a person might have been standing. "I'd say you're right on the money."
The corpses of the royal guard unit had already been collected or disposed of, but the blood spatters remained. "I guess you could say history was made in this room..."
The birth of Zero, One mocked. Serial kinslayer, dealer in lies, and faultless savior of the Japanese! The most gorgeous of flowers blossom amidst the blood he spills, and base vultures that feast upon the carcasses of his foes spontaneously become majestic eagles!
"I admit that it does feel more like I'm standing in a mere crime scene than anything more grand, but you seem kind of... salty, is that the right word for it?"
I'm just thinking about the time he killed Euphie - which is tragic but understandable in light of the circumstances - and then lied to your face when you called him on it, which I'm not remotely as willing to overlook.
"Well, that was another universe - a different Lelouch, a different Euphemia, and a different Suzaku. We don't plan on letting any part of that come to pass, so there isn't much sense in holding it against him."
You aren't wrong, but... I'm not going to just carelessly assume we somehow butterfly it away, only for us to have the rug pulled out from under us at the last seco-
Suzaku suddenly stopped, holding up a hand even though he was alone. "Did you hear something?"
One shut up so he could listen, and soon enough heard a soft...
"Psst! ...psst!"
The two-in-one White Knight followed the insistent, almost desperate hissing until they found a crack in the rubble, and on opening it a bit further they found a misshapen white doll.
What the fuck, that's Magic Device Nemo!
"Hey," the doll whispered in a gruff, gravelly tone, "you guys wanna make a contract?"
Let's do it! I'm curious what kind of Geass we'd get, and the Mark Nemo's as badass as the Lancelot!
"Okay so first off," Suzaku said to the voice in his head, "this is sketchier than Lloyd's deliberately-sinister choice of words - and with him, we at least understand that he plays it up to amuse himself. This thing, though..."
Well, setting aside the possible unknown ramifications of impulsively dealing with a mysterious being who may or may not behave like I expect it to from the Nightmare manga... would you rather let it bond with Nunnally instead?
"I suppose the least I can do is hear you out," Suzaku said to Nemo as he crouched down in front of it.
"I draw upon both of your shared negativity, and form a body of my own I can use to move and interact with the world, so that I'm not trapped in eternity as a sapient doll. In return, I bestow upon you the power of Geass and become your collaborator."
"Hm... I'd really feel better if we knew what kind of Geass we'd get beforehand."
Yeah, I hate random surprises too, but in Nightmare we never saw a Geass mutate enough to go Runaway. And I don't like feeling negative all the time anyway, so from where I sit it's a win-win!
"You're not entirely wrong," Suzaku muttered, "but even though I'd prefer to keep Nunnally out of this as much as possible, I still-"
"Mister..." Nemo began, "I don't think you quite realize what you've got here. So why don't you just ruminate, whilst I illuminate... the possibilities."
"Huh?"
Nemo wriggled and squirmed, somehow getting enough oomph to 'stand' even though it had no limbs and the form of an inverted snowman.
"Well Chuck has the Knights of the Round," it whispered in a conspiratorial tone, "and Zero's gonna have his Black Knights!"
And then it spun around, an impressive pirouette given its lack of logical or reasonable physical capabilities. "But it's a stroke of luck you've found, your fortunes' are gonna turn right now!"
OH MY FUCKING GOD, I KNOW THIS SONG
Suzaku was too transfixed by the bizzare spectacle in front of him to think of a response, as the song and awkward limbless attempts at dancing continued.
"...all you need's to shake my hand if I had one, AND I'LL SAY! Misters One, 'zaku sirs, what will your pleasures be?! Let me take your order and jot it down, you ain't never had a friend like me!"
Nemo tried to jump and twirl in the air... but as limited as its coordination was, it succeeded only in falling on its face. "...I hate everything about my existence." It sounded like it wanted to cry.
"...you know what," Suzaku said. "I'm sold. You've got a deal."
With that, Suzaku reached out to pat Nemo on its head, and the room lit up with a flash of light...
Two days later, atop the JLF mountain base at Narita...
"It's time, Q-1. Begin the operation."
Kallen nodded from in the Guren's cockpit, when suddenly dramatic music started playing loudly from out of nowhere! "What the-?!"
"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE," a male voice roared, "BECAUSE WE FIGHT FOR WHAT'S RIGHT!"
"AND MAKE IT DOUBLE," a near-identical voice continued, "IN BLACK AND IN WHITE!"
Zero and the startled Black Knights were on high alert, searching for the source of the sudden interruption, but it seemed to come from all around them...!
"TO PROTECT MANKIND FROM DEVASTATION!"
An explosion rocked the insides of the mountain, as a JLF Knightmare hangar was buried in rubble.
"TO RESTORE THE RIGHTS OF FORMER NATIONS!"
And there went another one.
"TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF HATE AND LIES!"
A sudden impact shattered the ranks of the Black Knights, kicking up a thick cloud of dust!
"Dammit," Kallen spat, "is it that white bastard again?!"
"TO SMITE DOWN EVIL FROM ATOP THE SKIES!"
A shadow moved threateningly in the dust, and Kallen moved to attack it - only for a second one to dis-arm the Guren of its Radiant Wave Surger from her blind spot! "Oh fuck you!"
"LANCELOT!" proclaimed the White Knight of Britannia as the dust cloud settled.
"MARK NEMO!" introduced a newcomer, a Dark Knight moving to stand at his side and casually dangling the RWS in one hand.
Together, the two Knightmares shared a fist-bump and a nod, before -
"BRITANNIAN REFORMERS," the Lancelot declared while striking a heroic pose straight out of Kamen Rider. "BLASTING OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!"
"SURRENDER NOW," the Mark Nemo ordered as it took a low battle stance, making a bring it gesture with the floppy RWS hand, "OR GET YOUR ASSES KICKED IN THE FIGHT!"
Back at the G-1 Base, the Sub-Viceroy of Area 11 fist-pumped with a proud smile. "Euphie, that's right!"
Then she blinked. "...wait, where did that come from?"
Zero stood tall against the duo, completely unruffled by these events. "I see you've been spent your time studying theatrics. However, an impressive entrance alone won't help you unless you can achieve results."
Kallen, meanwhile, brought the Guren Mk-2 back around to fight. "Even with just one hand, I can still beat the both of yo-!"
The Lancelot dramatically held up a hand, cutting her off. "I'm real happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish, but - [THE AUTHOR!]"
Within the cockpits of both Knightmares, Suzaku and Nemo each had an eye light up with the sigil of Geass, enveloping the entire mountain in light...!
"The last week has been witness to an extended set of unlikely but completely reasonable coincidences," announced a newscaster on TV, "finally ending with the Empire's long-lost and thought-dead beloved prince, Lelouch vi Britannia, discovered to be alive and well - and the internationally recognized crusader of justice Zero, no less! With His Majesty Lelouch's ascension to the Imperial throne in just twenty minutes and the class-divisive war of global conquest grinding to a halt, Holy Britannia and our international brothers and sisters are bravely treading into a new age of diplomatic resolution and humanistic progress!"
Suzaku put a hand on Lulu's shoulder, beaming with pride. "You did great, Lelouch. I was wrong to ever doubt you."
Lelouch returned the smile with one of his own. "I know I may not always show it, but your friendship has always meant a lot to me-"
Then he blinked. "...wait a second. How did we even get to this point?! What the hell's going on?!"
"ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH! ALL HAIL LELOUCH!", came the overjoyed chorus of the common folk who barely knew a thing about him but were more than happy to project their love and adoration for his mother onto him.
"I'm off-duty for today," Suzaku - or rather, One taking his turn at controlling their body - said, "so I'm gonna head home and knock up your sister."
Sporting a devil-may-care grin and some cheap sunglasses, Suzaku gave Lelouch a pair of fingerguns and made his withdrawal. "Catch you later, Your Majesty."
"Wait, what?! Suzaku-" Lelouch went to chase after him, but tripped on his coronation robe and fell down, thankfully hurting only his pride.
"And they all lived happily ever after, hm?"
Lelouch turned to the new voice, and saw C.C. munching on pizza like always. "You can't really hate how it turned out, can you? You have what nearly amounts to ultimate power, everyone you care about is happy and safe, and all of your worst enemies are either dead or desperately wishing they could be. The only thing left on your to-do list is to uphold your end of our contract."
Lelouch considered that for a few seconds. "That's true, but..."
C.C. raised an eyebrow, silently demanding what he could complain about.
The 99th Emperor of Britannia hung his head with a pout, weakly hitting the floor. "I didn't win the way I wanted to..."
Inspired by the voice talents of...
Suzaku Kururugi: Yuri Lowenthal
One: ?
Lelouch Lamperouge/vi Britannia/Zero: Johnny Yong Bosch
Kallen Kozuki: Karen Strassman
Euphemia li Britannia: Michelle Ruff
C.C.: Kate Higgins
Magic Device Nemo: Cheech Marin
A/N: Well, even though I couldn't work on this as quickly or as often as I might've liked, it was still a blast to write my first major Code Geass fic. I've been mulling on some ideas for a while now as to what the successor project might be. Some of my favorite ideas to this point are a more genuine/straightforward "Suzaku of the Counterattack" remake to smooth over the manga's flaws that drag it down; another one I really like the idea of doing would be to write an R2 for Nightmare of Nunally, pick up that absolute sequel hook and run with it. Of course the third option is to do a crossover of some kind, and I have two or three options rolling around in my brain for that notion as well - Space Runaway Ideon feels like a reasonable choice - so I guess in the end we'll just have to wait and see what happens down the line!
...but real talk, though - happy April Fool's Day?