"I…I'm sorry, but could you repeat that one more time?"

Doing my best to contain my rising panic, which wasn't easy to do considering the infinite void of darkness that surrounded both me and the lounging blue-haired woman, I felt my control over my emotions slip as she repeated something that I still struggled to accept.

"I said 'You have my condolences, but you are now dead.' Which if you think about it, isn't too surprising considering what you were doing in your last moments."

My panicking coming to a stop thanks to her somewhat dismissive tones, my confusion quickly morphed into anger as she proceeded to mockingly explain just how I shuffled off my mortal coil.

"I mean, nowadays most boys your age have no problem playing their little board games outside, or even in a public place. But you and your little basement-dwelling friends, who I'm pleased to tell you all managed to avoid your fate, had the bright idea to go all 'traditional'. Which meant that when that earthquake hit, all that debris could only go in one direction. Not the most pathetic of deaths I've seen. But it could have been easily avoidable if you had decided to play like a normal teenager."

Opening my mouth to protest this accusation, since I had actually been against the idea to go all, as my blue haired tormenter stated, traditional when it came to selecting the venue for my friends DnD night, I was sadly prevented from voicing this thought.

"Anyways, you're quite lucky you died where you did. Normally, I only get to deal with Japanese youths whose time has unfortunately come to an end. But since you decided to travel to Japan for some reason that I can't really be bothered to remember, you have the honor of basking in the presence of the great goddess Aqua. You may convey your gratitude for this unexpected blessing."

Ok.

I was normally a calm, and rational person.

And even with the knowledge that I had died, something that I was forced to accept since the memory of my last moments was coming back to me as Aqua continued to ramble one, I was still willing to at least try and figure things out.

But this bitch, after mocking my death, had the audacity to believe that I should worship her, there was only one thing that I could say to that.

"Could I see your supervisor please?"

I might have been pissed, but considering that I was actually well read in various mythologies, I knew that directly antagonizing a goddess, even if Aqua was far more immature than any I had read about, could not be good for my continued 'exisitence'.

Unfortunately, while my efforts thankfully did not result with a smiting, or an immediate trip 'downstairs', they nevertheless were something that greatly annoyed the blue-haired goddess.

"What do you mean?! I'll have you know that a shut-in like you should be honored at having a goddess like me welcome them into the afterlife! Just because your pissy about how you died, you shouldn't be taking out your annoyance on me. Especially since I am the only one here who can tell you what's going to happen to you. But since you're being a jerk, I might just keep you in limbo for the next 500 years."

Doing my best to look apologetic, for even if this girl was a brat, and wore clothing that wasn't exactly what most religions would attribute to a goddess, I did the only thing I could do in this situation.

Grovel like my afterlife depended on it.

Which it did.

"I…I'm sorry Lady Aqua. Truly I am. Please forgive my impertinence. As a mere mortal, I should be blessed that any divine figure make itself known to me. Let alone a goddess like you. So please, please forgive me."

For a moment nothing could be heard.

But that moment quickly ended as the blue-haired goddess let out a good-natured chuckle.

"Well I suppose can let you off with a warning this time since you seemed so sincere with your apology. And its good for you to recognize my radiant brilliance for what it is. Now, since you finally appear to be in a mood to listen to me, why don't we discuss your opitions hmmm?"

Not trusting myself to speak, for even when she was being nice there was something about that tone that made me want to deck her, goddess or not, I felt myself frowning in consideration as she presented me with my 'options'.

"Well, since you are relatively free of sin, looking at dirty pictures and the occasional girl is ok so long as all you do is look, you have two choices. The first is you get to go to Heaven, spending the rest of eternity with your loved ones, with no earthly distractions or sensations to divide your focus. The second option is you rejoin the cycle of reincarnation, being reborn as a baby without any memories of your former life. Or any guarantee that your second life will be any better than your last."

With my fear of punishment melting away thanks to Aqua's cheerful explanation, I couldn't help but just slightly snark at this information.

"So my choice is between what is essentially a heavenly retirement community, and going through life again with no guarantee that it will be better or worse?"

Surprisingly, Aqua adopted a thoughtful expression as she considered my question.

"Pretty much. Heaven isn't exactly what you mortals think it is. I mean sure, it's the godly realm, and all of your loved ones, at least those worthy enough to get in, are there to greet you. But it's so boring for you guys. No food, no games, and no activities that I'm sure a virgin like you had only dreamed about. Just sitting in bliss, chatting about the joys of your life while basking in the heavenly light for the rest of eternity. But…"

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to be reborn."

Fighting the urge to smirk at her pouting expression, I was somewhat caught off guard by how quickly her face adopted a more sly look.

"Welllll, I mean of course if you really wanted to, I could do that. Orrrr…if your willing to listen to a third option, you could get to live the life a basement-dwelling virgin like yourself always wanted."

Deciding that it would be a waste of time to point out that I wasn't actually a basement dweller, for I had managed to move into a bachelor's apartment before I had been invited to go to Japan with friends, I slowly nodded my head.

Which was all the prompting Aqua needed to go into what could only be called a sales pitch.

…..

Beaming with confidence, for there was no way that this useless mortal would refuse to accept her generous offer to give his virgin butt the chance to act out his fantasy of going on a real adventure, Aqua felt her smile slightly dim as he proved to be dumber than she originally thought.

"And what do I get out of this if I choose to accept your ever-so-generous offer?"

Sighing in a manner that made it plan just how much patience she was summoning in order to deal with his inane questions, Aqua answered his question.

"Well, as I stated before, in addition to being granted an ability or item to give you a fighting chance at defeating the Demon Lord, when you die again you will be allowed to wish for anything your little virgin heart desires. Though I feel that I should warn you now that you won't be able to ask to sleep with any of the goddesses. Even if there was a rule against mortals and goddesses sleeping with each other, you'd have to defeat nearly a hundred demon lords before they would ever consider disgracing themselves by sleeping with you."

Smirking a little as she noticed his less than happy expression, believing it to be that he would deprived of the chance to experience true 'paradise', Aqua's expression morphed into a full out smile as it was now obvious that he would be accepting his offer of a new life.

"Are…are there any limitations of what I can ask for?"

Lounging back on her throne as she considered his question, the blue haired Goddess of Water made a hum of consideration before answering.

"Well, you can't ask for immortality. I used to offer that about 600 years ago, but my stupid junior complained to my superiors, who said that only divine beings like us should have the privilege of living forever. I mean, I suppose if you wanted I could turn you into an Undead. But then you would be hunted down by almost everyone since they are an affront to the natural order and deserve nothing but annihilation."

Taking a breath to calm herself after talking about one of the few things that made her lose her godly composure, Aqua handed the confused looking mortal a folder of some of the more useful, at least in her mind, choices he could choose before being sent to the other world.

It would probably be something simple, like a magic weapon since most mortals she dealt with, especially the boys, lacked the smarts to think big.

But regardless, she was certain that it wouldn't take too long.

Which was good because she a full day ahead of her.

One that promised to give her a much-needed laugh since she couldn't remember the last time a mortal had died in such a useless, and humorous fashion.

…..

This was getting rather teidious.

While most of these so-called 'cheat items' could theoretically be useful, they just didn't speak to me.

Magic Swords?

Wands of arcane power?

The ability to fly?

As someone who has spent a considerable amount of time playing tabletop games, or enjoying the cinematic or literary adventures of fantasy and sci-fi characters, I was honestly expecting to be given a better range of abilities to choose from.

"Can you hurry it up? Most people don't spend this much time picking an item. And I have other things to do then besides watching your indecision."

Shooting the bored-looking deity a look that would undoubtedly have resulted in a smiting if I had dared sent it to a less easygoing god, I barely managed to keep my voice even as I tried to do something that probably wouldn't work.

But since I had little to lose at this point, might as well try.

"Is this…all that I can choose from? I mean, surely a goddess of your stature can offer a more….creative option for me to choose from?"

It was a long shot of course, if only because I harbored some doubts as to how much ability this so called goddess possessed, if only because she acted more like a spoiled brat than anything resembling a divine figure, though I had to admit that she did in fact have a very good figure, but I had to try.

And fortunately, like I had hoped, feeding in to her ego ensured that she didn't dismiss my attempts to increase my chances for the future.

"Hah! Of course I can. I mean, unlike my flat-chested junior, who can't accept that she'll always have the body of a boy, I am fully capable of fulfilling any request because I am that awesome of a goddess."

Deciding not to comment on that first part, if only because it wouldn't be a good idea to get involved in what was obviously some sort of divine feud, I made my request.

Doing my utmost to make it sound reasonable on the off chance that it could be rejected.

"Then…would it be possible to make my own sheet of the type of abilities I want? It won't take that long since you know I already have a great familiarity with the subject. And I promise that, for the most part, it will give me the best chance of fulfilling my end of the bargain."

Even though I should have been at this point, I wasn't still surprised by her reaction.

"Hehehehehe. I see that even in the afterlife, you have no desire to be anything but the fantasy loving virgin that you were when you were alive. Lucky for you, I am a kind and generous goddess, so long as you are the one doing the paper work. So your request will be fulfilled."

Eyes widening as she summoned into being 3 easily recognizable sheets of paper, albeit ones that had never glowed when I was alive, I was very careful to keep a shit-eating grin from spreading across my face as she shoved my 'cheat item' into my chest.

"You have 20 minutes to fill this out. But considering you're the type of boy to have spent countless hours repeating the same thing over and over again, I doubt you'll need that time. But anyways, because I already signed off on this, as you as you finish filling these out, or the timer stops whichever comes first, you will become the very thing you wasted hours playing as instead of socializing like a normal teenaged boy."

Choosing not to point out that playing DnD was an immensely popular game, one that actually helped people make friends, I quickly set to work.

Grateful for the fact that Aqua failed to remember that my character creations were a mixture of official content and homebrew.

Not that I couldn't play a strictly official character.

But homebrew content always allowed for greater flexibility.

So absorbed did I become in writing down the details of my character/future self that I barely noticed that Aqua's attention was now focused elsewhere.

"Greeting's Kazuma Satou. Welcome to the afterlife."

(brief time skip)

In the end, I almost ran out of time before I finished filling out my character sheet, mostly because I had to remember what dice I first rolled for my character's ability scores and which spells I had selected.

But I had done it.

I had successfully completed my character sheet for the level 20 character I would be now existing as.

Of course I had to leave some things off my sheet.

Mostly because I believed that starting off as a level 20 character was already making me a tad OP. Which is a shame because my former DM had been quite generous in bending the rules a tad by allowing my group to advance beyond the official limit, so long as we multi-classed.

Not to mention that I had to choose a less monstrous race, background and more morally acceptable alignment to ensure I wouldn't have too difficult of a time.

But I was still happy with my work.

I only hope that Aqua doesn't tease me too much about how I went about multiclassing my character. For even if I wouldn't be seeing her again after this, like most people I could only tolerate so much mockery of my interests.

Only as soon as I looked up, instead of the blue-haired brat, I was met with the sight of a smiling golden-haired angel.

Bowing my head in what I hoped was a respectful manner, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a light-hearted chuckle.

"Please, raise your head. While I appreciate your show of respect, it is unwarranted. Especially since I am merely temporarily filling in for the Lady Aqua while she is…reprimanded for her attitude."

Readily obeying the Angel's command, I couldn't help but voice my curiosity as I processed the last part of what she said.

"Is…is that right? Well, considering she mocked the circumstances of my death, perhaps she could benefit from some sensitivity training."

My words, rather than earning an amused chuckle, or even a stern reprimand, caused the Angel to look at me with regret as she dejectedly sighed.

"Unfortunately, I have some doubts about just how much Lady Aqua can change, especially since the circumstances of her 'departure', while understandable, will lead to further hardship for her. But that is a concern for higher powers than either you or me. And it falls to me to see you on your way since Lady Aqua has already provided you with the necessary abilities to move forward with your quest. Although, considering how she treated the young man who arrived after you, I have to ask if there is anything I can do to make up for her attitude?"

Managing to keep myself from smiling, for this literal Angel had just given me the opportunity to 'correct' my ability sheet, I nodded my head as I gave my reply.

"Well, if I could perhaps, if it is alright with you, have just 5 more minutes to fill out my sheet? Just to ensure that I am fully equipped with the skills I will need in my quest to take out the Demon Lord."

And to ensure that I have the necessary skills to ensure that my journey in doing so is as easy and as comfortable as possible.

But since the Angel's expression morphed into a gentle smile, I was now confident that such a thing was possible.

"Of course. Since Lady Aqua has already signed off on your request, I see no harm in allowing you additional time to edit your 'work'. For the world you are entering is filled with danger, and it would be improper to send you there without ensuring that you have all that you need to survive."

Bowing my head to show my gratitude, I quickly went to work on my character sheet.

For in addition to do all the math that came with a level 23 character, I also quickly wrote down some of the items and feats that I had previously left out because I felt they were either too OP or whose origin I believe was unpalatable to Divine figures.

And as soon as I handed over my now-finished character sheet, I found myself ascending upwards in a beam of golden light.

Cheered on by the Angel whose social skills were far greater than the deity who was her nominal superior.

"Fare thee well young champion. May the blessing of Heaven ensure the fulfillment of your quest."

And with that, my vision of the void throne room was replaced with an image that was common for these types of adventures.

Trees. Trees. A small clear pond that lacked the visual appeal that could only exist with Disney animation. And more trees.

Not the worst place to wake up after being returned to life.

Especially since it allowed me an opportunity to test out my new skills without having to worry about being att..

"Grrrrrrrr."

Attacked before I learned what I was capable of.

Still, I suppose it could be worse.

A small pack of starving wolves was less frightening than a trio of trolls.

Plus, the fact that it gives me ample opportunity to pr…

"OH FUCK!"

….

Annd I think that this is enough of an intro chapter.

I confess that a Konsobua fanfic has been in the back of my mind for quite some time. Problem was how to properly go about it.

Fortunately, thanks to becoming a DnD player in the past year, finally decided on a suitable way to get my OC involved XD.

However, I will confess that at this point my vision is less about an OC joining the main characters, and more about giving Kazuma and some other characters some much needed support. Yes I realize that Kazuma has issues, a lot of them, but having his death mocked, then forced into situations where he usually dies, gets bullied by his friends and other characters, strikes a chord with me. So, expect some bashing of characters like Aqua, Megumin, and most definitely Claire.