How about Tokyo Tower's observation deck, this afternoon? I thought the open air might do us some good.

A Japanese male huffed as he stepped from a street intersection back onto the sidewalk. "More like somewhere we can't stage much of an ambush without risk of getting civilians caught in the crossfire…"

Passing by a storefront window, Suzaku turned and scowled at his reflection in it. "Even knowing what he's done up to this point, it doesn't prove everything else you've said about what he'll do from here."

"Maybe you're right," the passenger in his mind replied with his own mouth. "But we know what happened from blowing me off about him the first time."

For that, Suzaku had no rebuttal. "...yeah. There's not much point in completely refusing to trust you when our thoughts are an open book to each other."

"Which freakin' naturally," One muttered with a sigh, "just begs the question of who deserves our trust beyond our shared little fucked-up headspace…"

As the two continued on, they thought back to what had happened back at Camelot after Euphemia's departure…

"Suzaku, there's something we need to discuss."

Yeah, that whole thing with Euphie was BS and any other royal would've obliterated me over it. "I know, I was completely out of line earlier. There's no excuse or justification for any of that; I'm composing a formal letter of apology in my head–"

A hand rests on our shoulder, and I look up to see Cecile softly smiling down at me. "Something tells me… Her Highness would sooner burn it than read it."

Given what we've seen of Princess Euphemia so far, Suzaku muses in our mind, that does sound like her.

Sure, but then I'm at a loss for what Cecile pulled us aside for. Guess it's shut-mouth-open-ears time now… "Alright, I'm listening."

Cecile paused for a moment, her gentle smile quickly turning into a concerned frown. "It was– it seems as though you and Her Highness have attached to each other in an uncommonly powerful way. And that's not a bad thing! Not at all! But…"

Oh boy, there's no fun way to have this conversation the way it probably needs to be had. "-but I'm a grave security risk on the basis that I've apparently got abandonment issues severe enough to start emotionally throwing myself at anyone who's so much as nice to me, and thereby might as well just be asking for some conniving scumbag to come around and exploit that to get in my head and use me."

You deliberately phrased that as bluntly as you could.

So what?

Leaning against the outside of the trailer, I let out a sigh and look up to meet Cecile's gaze. "Is that the gist?"

Cecile stares back at us with an odd mix of relief, annoyance, and sympathy, before she gives our shoulder a squeeze. "That's… that isn't how I would have phrased any of it. And I wouldn't say that you're asking for trouble; not when you're at least aware of the threat that ill-intentioned people can pose to you."

"Well, yeah," I mutter, turning back away from her to look at the floor. "If there's one thing about myself I can take any pride in, it's having at least a cursory awareness of my broken edges."

Come on, what is your problem?! Princess Euphemia just gave us a huge show of faith, and Miss Cecile's here trying to look out for us. Why are you suddenly behaving even more self-destructively now?!

Why else, it's because I'm trying not to freak out and reverting to the strongest instinct I have.

…your instincts are terrible.

If Suzaku's deadpan were a bedpan, he could have just about knocked my head off my shoulders with it.

She still didn't argue that we present a massive security risk.

Suzaku considers that for a moment, and then my mental image of him kinda sorta seems to shrug. Well, if we're going to be that blase about it… do you really expect her to lie to us? If anything, the fact that she's going so far out on a limb for us only shows how much we owe her.

Unknowing of our internal debate, Cecile sidles up alongside us just close enough to touch. "I… think you can give yourself a little more credit, Suzaku. Even after everything you've been through, you're trying to adapt and move forward, aren't you? Many people in the world struggle with that. And, I just want you to realize something…"

Soft fingers touch my chin, and gently tilt my head towards hers. "I don't want to try and tell you who should trust, or who not to, in a broader sense. However much I may want to make the process easier for you, I... I honestly think that making that kind of judgment call is something you need to learn for yourself from experience."

…man, how the fuck do I answer that?

If you don't know how to, then let me do it.

I promptly give Suzaku the steering wheel, as we straighten up. "I'm sure you're right, Miss Cecile. And I want to thank you for looking out for me like this. If there's ever anything I can do to repay you–"

"Please," Cecile shook her head. "You shouldn't feel indebted to me."

Suzaku pauses for a moment, getting his thoughts in order. "I remember hearing somewhere that… kindness is something you pay back because you want to, and not because you have to. "

A bit uncertainly, he reaches out to take Cecile's hand and clasps it in ours, looking up at her with an earnest face I know I'd never be able to make myself. "I apologize if I was unclear, but what I'm trying to say is that I hope to someday be the kind of reliable person in your life that you're becoming to me."

Way to put the moves on her out of nowhere, dude.

A red, wide-eyed Cecile coughs and glances away from us while Suzaku immediately starts to second-guess what he'd just said.

Wait, did I say something wrong?

Hell if I know, depends on how she takes it.

A moment later, Cecile shakes her head with a smile before her eyes flit back to ours. "I'm certain that you can be, Suzaku."

At Tokyo Tower, Lelouch stared out at the devastated ghettos from its observation deck, deep in thought.

Notwithstanding what happened in Shinjuku, it's been eight years. Who could have ever imagined that we'd meet again in a place like that…

The elevator behind him soon opened up, before a familiar voice called out. "Kept you waiting, huh?"

Lelouch turned to stare at a sunglasses-wearing Suzaku, mind racing through everything he'd been thinking and wanting to say. How Lelouch was shocked but relieved that his boyhood friend had survived, that Nunnally had wanted to meet him again, and so much more. Then he caught the little smile on Suzaku's face, like he was invoking some kind of inside joke, and remembered the sight of him wearing a military uniform.

"How can you still fight for that man?! Don't you realize they had you shot?!"

Suzaku's grin faded as he slid off his sunglasses, before folding them and slipping them into a jacket chest pocket. "Okay, so it's Twenty Questions. Fine."

Damn it…! "Suzaku, I–"

"First off, I don't work for him," Suzaku scowled. "I work for Princess Euphemia."

Glancing around, the Japanese youth took notice of the various Britannian bystanders happily going about their business without any sign of noticing his and Lelouch's discussion. "...how did you escape Shinjuku? What happened to that woman you were with?"

"Suzaku, this isn't about me–"

"You made it about you when you brought up that fat fuck on the throne, Lelouch."

Lelouch's entire body went slack with surprise as he stared at Suzaku, so complete was his disbelief. Not only at the absolute contempt with which his old friend had spoken, but the utterly crass phrasing he'd delivered it with. "You've… you've changed."

Suzaku let out a sigh as he stepped closer. "Everyone does, that's just natural. People change and life goes on, whether we want it or not."

A moment passed, and Suzaku shared a wink once they were together at the observation deck's safety railing. "Don't worry too much, though; I still know better than to use that kind of language in front of Nunnally."

In spite of himself, Lelouch laughed. "You'd certainly better!"

Perhaps there's a good amount of the old Suzaku in there after all…

The lost Prince found comfort in the next few minutes, as the pair just quietly gazed out over the city. If he closed his eyes, then for a moment he could almost feel like they were back at Kururugi Shrine, before Britannia's invasion…

"I'm still waiting for an answer about Shinjuku."

…but like all good things, he thought with a sigh, it can't last forever. "The woman sacrificed her life to save mine, not long after that guard shot you in the back. Eventually, I found an opportunity to get out of that mess and came home to safety at Ashford."

Everything he said was true, though he certainly hadn't said everything that was true. Even though it's Suzaku, and he knows about me and Nunnally… can I really tell him the entire truth, about Geass and what it allows me to do?

"...knowing you, I bet in between those two you assumed command of the local resistance forces before leading them to a crushing victory over Clovis's forces?"

The unexpected mention of his name forcibly called to mind the absolute mess of gore Clovis's face had become, and Lelouch had to forcibly suppress a rebellion from his own stomach. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought.

More importantly, Suzaku's insight was… something else. "...what does it matter who defeated Britannia back there?" he carefully asked. "Clovis and his soldiers were perpetrating mass murder against civilians; can you honestly tell me that you're fine with that?"

"Of course not–"

"Then explain to me why you were wearing their uniform, Suzaku!"

Suzaku's mouth clicked shut at the reprimand, which of course was the exact opposite of what Lelouch had wanted. You picked the absolute worst moment to be consistent, the prince thought with a scowl.

Seconds passed and threatened to turn into minutes as Suzaku fidgeted, as if fighting with himself over how to answer. Eventually, the pilot turned his back on the city with a sigh, leaning against the rail for support. "What does it matter? It's not like we'd ever meet on opposing sides in battle," he drawled, before his split-second sneer morphed into a melancholy frown. "And frankly, I'm not sure I'd trust you to hear me out if I did speak up."

You fight for Britannia, and somehow I'm the one who can't be trusted?! "What are you talking about?!"

Suzaku glanced at Lelouch in his peripheral vision. "You've already gone and written me off as delusional and/or a fool; an unenlightened worm so inept at my own decision-making that decided that nothing I can say will be of any consequence, and that my only hope is to shut the hell up and let you do my thinking for me. I can either waste both of our time trying to convince you otherwise, or let you get everything out of your system and move on."

Lelouch opened his mouth to tell Suzaku he was being stupid, before the words almost immediately died on his lips. Is… is that really what Suzaku thinks of me? Come to think of it, we've done little more than cast shade upon and lecture each other, both in Shinjuku and now. "...all right," he murmured with a sigh, "make your case. I can't promise that I'll agree with it or that I won't immediately try to tear it apart when you're done, but at the very least I'll hear you out."

"...fair enough," Suzaku replied. Standing up straight, he took a moment to massage some stiffness out of his neck. "It's not exactly the shortest story in the world, but I'll try to keep this from dragging on too much. Do you remember that day eight years ago, when we went our separate ways as the invasion was winding down?"

Lelouch thought back, and after a moment, he did. For a long while, I'd been trying not to dwell on those days… "I asked if you were going to join Colonel Tohdoh in the Japanese resistance," he recalled. "You told me that you hadn't been able to get in touch with him, and that Kirihara was sending you to Britannia's military."

Lelouch shook his head. "I'd almost written it off as a white lie you were telling for Nunnally's sake, so she wouldn't worry about you picking up a gun and fighting in the resistance."

Suzaku met the admission with an annoyed huff, and Lelouch began to wonder if it wasn't a sign of some sort of complex.

"It wasn't," Suzaku muttered. "Kirihara told me that after what had happened, I would never know peace or acceptance among the Japanese; the only place I might ever be able to live would be as a dog of Britannia. I couldn't exactly argue with him…"

Lelouch sighed, fighting the urge to massage away a slowly building headache. "Suzaku… having the son of the last Prime Minister behind them would have been a tremendous morale tool for the JLF. Even if he did commit seppuku in protest of do-or-die resistance, it would have been child's play to spin your support as inheriting a will to survive and win rather than throwing lives away pointlessly. "

"Genbu Kururugi's death wasn't a suicide, Lelouch, it was a homicide. What you just described are an old man's lies spread around to cover it up."

So surprised by the words themselves, Lelouch almost missed how Suzaku's posture slumped and his somber expression took a visible turn for the bitter. "Suzaku, you… you saw the killer?"

Lelouch had already begun imagining over a dozen potential hypotheses that might explain this new revelation, missing the anguished grimace that tore at Suzaku's expression for several seconds until it abruptly morphed into the purest mixture of heartbreak and absolute hatred Lelouch had ever seen.

"...no, Lelouch. I am the killer."

You probably suspected this, Lelouch, but the Prime Minister and his colleagues had been discussing the likelihood of invasion for a while before it actually happened. The fact that you and Nunnally had been sent to live with us as hostages should have been warning enough that Britannia knew, or had good reason to suspect, that my father's administration had been flouting the exclusive trade agreement regarding sakuradite our governments had made half a century prior.

"So war is inevitable, then? Just to protect a monopoly over sakuradite access, that gaijin is ready to send his nations' sons and daughters halfway across the planet?"

Genbu Kururugi scowled across the cup of sake in his hands. "Charles zi Britannia is not a man, but a fiend without even a shred of human sentimentality. Lives are less than toys to him… as things are, it seems the upcoming election will be the last dance of Japanese democracy."

"...then once the music ends," Taizo Kirihara murmured, "we should announce your engagement to the world."

Of course, I hadn't known much of anything back then… and to be honest, I understood even less.

The young Suzaku, motherless all his life, raised his head in confusion. "You're engaged?"

"With Princess Nunnally," Genbu explained with a distasteful grimace, as if saying her very name distressed him. "...as far as the little foreign brat can still be called one. There had been hopes of doing away with the business entirely, but strengthening the old trade agreement with an alliance sealed by political marriage may be the only chance left to forestall Britannia's invasion."

Suzaku looked down at his tea, thoughts in disarray. Even if such a thing were only political in nature, it still would have affected him… would it have made Nunnally his stepmother, even though he was older than her? The idea of a family relation making his friendship with Nunnally and Lelouch closer did sound kind of nice, but at the same time it was so weird… and that wasn't even considering how the vi Britannias must have felt.

It's the first time I've ever heard about it, Suzaku thought with a frown. Then, does Nunnally even know? Does Lelouch? ...I bet he knew from the start, and probably tried to keep it from her so she wouldn't be bothered.

The next instant, another thought occurred to the boy as he looked up at his father in confusion. "But, I heard before that Britannia's Emperor always just throws people away like they're trash. If you married Nunnally, would he even care? And what does all this mean for Lel–"

His father silenced him in an instant with a disapproving glare. "Such backtalk of late... you should know better than to question me. He's been a rotten influence on you."

Was Genbu reprimanding Suzaku as his father, or as the Prime Minister of Japan? Suzaku wasn't sure if there was much difference anymore…

The more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. It sounded more and more like the Prime Minister and his colleagues were the one who picked this fight they were acting so afraid of, and now they were trying to weasel out of it any way they could without taking responsibility for themselves. When I couldn't even figure out my own feelings, it just seemed impossible to try and share or explain them to anyone else. Up to that point, my father had been my hero; my pride, and all of Japan's, too. At least, that was the case until I met you and Nunnally, and I started opening my eyes…

"There will be a conference in two days," a strong male voice declared, "at Shinjuku."

For years, I haven't been able to remember why I was even awake at that hour. Was I going for a drink? Coming back from the bathroom? …doesn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that weird to hear my father in his office taking phone calls late into the night. But with how uneasy I'd been starting to feel about him of late, I'd wanted to try and understand more of what was happening around me.

Genbu stared out at the stormy sky outside, heavy rain pounding against his office windows without mercy. "By attacking there," he continued, "you can eliminate the government officials most needed to keep Japan's society operational. Meanwhile, the military will continue bleeding themselves to nothing against your Knightmares; at worst, it may be two weeks until there are no forces left with enough strength to even pretend at resistance. Britannia's direct control over our sakuradite, and the world's, will be wholly uncontested from that point on."

I couldn't hear the other voice on the line, of course. He wasn't the kind of reckless idiot who'd have an important call on speakerphone… but given what he said in response, there really wasn't much of a question.

With his back to the door, Genbu turned to his desk and unknowingly allowed Suzaku to see his face in profile. "Thank you, Your Majesty… All Hail Britannia."

Numb with shock, the young Suzaku fell into the room through the barely-open door as a startled Genbu immediately hung up the phone. "What are you doing?"

Suzaku stared up at his furious father, struggling to properly even emote. "You're… betraying Japan?!"

Genbu gazed down impassively at his boy, even as Suzaku weakly got to one knee. "You sold the country to Britannia, didn't you?! Why?!"

A flash of lightning and nigh-simultaneous crash of thunder punctuated Suzaku's question as father and son watched each other, the storm outside slowly worsening. A long moment later, Genbu's lips curled into a sneer. "So what if I have? Britannia is a superpower, controlling a full third of the world and certainly capable of conquering the rest; Japan was doomed from the start. And having the people's support as I do, it could be said the nation is mine to do with as I see fit regardless."

"But… that's…!"

Not what the people elected you do to, Suzaku thought but couldn't say. How could he even be sure? His father had only been getting more popular as he'd intensified his hardline stance against Britannia in public, while Suzaku's friendship with Lelouch and Nunnally had only made him less confident in his understanding of the world with each passing day. Clearly, he didn't understand his countrymen at all…

"No, it's still wrong!"

"And you still remain so ignorant of this world's true nature," Genbu spat, rolling his eyes. "No matter our economic leverage with the sakuradite, Japan's society has been in slow decline for decades. Whether it were China or Britannia, this pathetic island would have been crushed eventually regardless. That being the case, it's only expected that I should turn the occasion to my advantage, to Japan's advantage."

Genbu swept his arms to either side, as if to embrace the vast scope of his ambition coming to fruition. "With this trade, I've become a Grand Duke of Britannia; eligible for Viceroyship over the island once it becomes remade as an Area, and even worthy of marriage into the Royal Family…"

The young Suzaku got to his feet, the pulse of his own blood pounding in his head and all but drowning out everything else. The storm outside, his father's words, his own racing heart… all the horrible sounds started blurring together.

"...with some help from that leech we call a Princess, of course, although the boy is a tragic obstacle–"

The whole world turned red as Suzaku's hand clenched on a sheathed katana hung on the wall, passed down from their samurai ancestors.

The next thing I knew… the entire room was pitch black, and I was on the ground. Everything was cold and sticky.

"Wha… what happ–"

A flash of lightning brought the room into sharp relief, an instant that seemed in Suzaku's eyes to last for eternity. The image of his father's rictus grin, the cold guts having long since fallen out across the floor as the ancestral sword stuck up out of his belly like a grave marker.

Seconds later, as the harsh light faded, the interior lighting came on and allowed Suzaku to see the thick dark red coating his arms and shirt… that he could feel even on his face.

"Did, did I…?"

Lelouch, for his part, could only look on in shock, mind racing as he took in all that he had been told. Suzaku, he… he killed his own father to protect me, he realized. And not only me, but also to protect Nunnally…

The prince closed his eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that losing control of his own turbulent feelings likely wouldn't have been any help. And then on top of that, he took a bullet disobeying orders for my sake just two days ago…

Opening his eyes again, Lelouch considered his options for approach.

Even after the military must have been digging their hooks into him for almost a decade, feeding him propaganda… he hasn't completely lost himself. Whatever Suzaku's mistakes in serving Britannia, I can still save him. "Suzaku, I… I had no idea what you'd been through. Of what you did for me."

Softly, gently, Lelouch reached out to place a comforting hand on his old friend's shoulder. "I can help you through this; I know Nunnally will also want to, even if we don't tell her everything… but continuing to fight against your own people for Britannia isn't going to make this better."

Suzaku stilled, and for a long moment Lelouch felt relief wash over him…

"How can you still think that the Japanese are 'my people'?"

…before it quickly turned into a sinking feeling as Suzaku finally turned to face him with furious, resentful eyes.

"Suzaku, what–"

"Tohdoh abandoned me to go play revolutionary with his army comrades," the Japanese youth spat as he stood up straight, all but shaking Lelouch off of him.

"You don't know–"

"And the cousin who even now sits on the NAC, enjoying every power and resource imaginable to reach out and let me know if she even cares whether I'm alive, when a Britannian Princess who's never been in the Area could recognize my name and face almost on sight… hasn't."

Suzaku's grip tightened on the steel safety rail, visibly warping and crumpling the immediate section in his grasp.

"Suzaku, you need to calm–"

"My father," he raged, "sold out his friends and family, people whose weddings I attended! He threw away this godforsaken island for a noble title, and Kirihara covered it up so those bastards out there can protect their worthless nostalgia and keep throwing their lives away in a fight they can't win!"

Lelouch took Suzaku's shoulders and tried to shake some damn sense into him. "Even if all that's true, they're still your own countrymen! You can't fight them!"

"Why the hell not?! You don't have an issue doing it!"

Lelouch had thought he couldn't be further surprised, and once again Suzaku had tossed his expectations to the floor and stomped on them. What the hell is that supposed to mean?! "Suzaku," he explained with forced patience, "Britannia is evil."

The soldier's eyes all but flashed with anger. "How can you expect me to believe that so readily when it made you?! When it made Euphemia, when it made Nunnally?!"

The words, and Suzaku's tone in giving them, hit Lelouch like a slap in the face. "You realize," he growled in escalating frustration, "that your only examples are my mother's children and Euphemia. That's little more than a fluke–"

Suzaku's entire body twitched, his rigid soldier's posture quickly loosening and becoming rougher, more primal, before his lips turned up with the cocky grin of someone who thinks he's found a winning play. "Milly."

Eyes wide, Lelouch's blood turned to ice as an unnerving realization sunk in. The blunt confidence in his face and voice… he's not invoking her out of conjecture or on a gamble, he realized. He's acting as if they've known each other for years! "How… how do you know her?"

Suzaku ignored the question, whirling on one foot and angrily slashing the air with his hand. "Tell me something, Lulu."

And now he even knows that nickname Shirley made for me?! But how?! I know he's never been to Ashford or met Milly or spoken with Shirley about me, either of them would have mentioned it – unless… even if it was only for a few moments, he was in proximity to that woman in Shinjuku! Is it somehow possible that she could have also given him a Geass?!

"How is it that you can spend a decade plotting patricide, and you're doing the world a favor… but then when I kill that piece of shit that created me who sold my country to yours, I'm the root of all evil?! How is it that you can take up arms against the land of your birth that exiled you and be the hero, but when I do the same thing I'm the villain?!"

Lelouch grit his teeth. "I've never thought you a villain nor evil, but you are acting like a fool! Obviously not all Britannians are evil, but the military and government–"

"-are nothing more than pathetic social machines, constructs of society!"

Lelouch blinked at the abrupt directed contempt, like he'd inadvertently distracted Suzaku from one rant and into the start of another. What the hell is he saying?

"They're social machines," Suzaku repeated in a low voice, looking over Lelouch at his shoulder. "That's what governments are," he explained with a thin smile, before turning to face the prince more completely. "Or perhaps you could compare them to math equations instead. If you take out the broken, rotten parts and replace them with shiny, efficient new ones that might enable or disable certain functions – changing the variables, so to speak – then you basically get a different machine. The equation has a different result."

Lelouch narrowed his eyes, watching as Suzaku dramatically gestured with his hands like a stage actor who'd fallen completely into their character. "Invoking the Ship of Theseus sounds plausible enough in theory," Lelouch admitted, "but in practice you don't have a hope of seeing it through. The Emperor and his supporters wouldn't have gained their power nor kept it so long if they were foolish enough to let an upstart second-class citizen challenge them… World's sake, as far as Britannia's concerned you're not even human!"

"I'm almost human," Suzaku replied with bright eyes and a raised finger, before his expression morphed back into a scowl. "And frankly, bad as that is, it's still better than what I get from my 'fellow Japanese.' Yes, of course Britannia's stacking the deck against me – but they still offered me a seat at the table, dealt me into the game in the first place! And with the inches they're giving me…"

He thinks he can take miles, Lelouch mentally finished for him. "Euphemia has the best of intentions, but if you believe for even a moment that you or she can make a difference in Britannia at the macro level, then you're deluding yourself… and given everything you've been through, I don't even know if I blame you for that. But you need to wake up from this naive fantasy of changing the system from the inside and listen to me; the very instant the Emperor or his forces recognize your budding conspiracy as a potential threat, it's over. As unfortunate as it may be, the only way that Britannia can ever change is through a violent overthrow. The price of freedom from oppression is steep, and it can only be paid for in blood. Anyone allowing you to believe otherwise is either equally naive or outright gaslighting you."

"You'd like that to be true, wouldn't you?"

"...excuse me?!"

Lelouch stepped back as Suzaku dramatically pointed at him, the accusation clear even before he continued. "You talk about spending human lives like they're money," he spat, posture straightening up to once again become that of a soldier. "Justice? Freedom? Whether they're soldiers or civilians, the people who die for your rebellion won't have either. You don't actually want a peaceful solution, even if it's just in comparative terms, do you Lelouch?! No, you want a grand, spectacular bloodbath that gives you the stage to take your personal revenge while showing off to the world how capable you are!"

Lelouch stopped and stared at Suzaku as the accusation rattled around in his skull. Does he… is he comparing me to HIM?! "And how long are the innocent Japanese meant to continue suffering while you try to work your peaceful solution?! And how can they be expected to stand with pride if you give it to them instead of working with them to earn it?!"

Suzaku's eyes flashed, and any lesser man than Lelouch might have stepped back from the boiling anger reflected in them. "Innocent?! Pride?! To hell with their pride, the Japanese started this war by breaking the trade agreement with Britannia and have since lied to our generation by saying Britannia's invasion was unprovoked! Their so-called 'freedom fighters' murder and terrorize civilians whose only crime is being born a filthy gaijin, to bring back a society that oppresses women while denying people freedom and opportunities as burakumin over something as goddamn stupid as how their ancestors put bread on the table!"

His frustration taking over, Lelouch stepped up to Suzaku–

"You can't blame the entire society for what your father and his administration did!"

–and Suzaku stepped up in turn, meeting him toe-to-toe. "That's literally what you do when you go off plotting to OBLITERATE BRITANNIA and blame the entire Empire for being guided by that bastard's memes! The Japanese people chose their leadership eight years ago, if anything they bear more responsibility for my father's sins than the Britannians do for your father's – not in the least since the Japanese have spent those years whispering behind my back that I should kill myself to help cover them– agghh!"

Lelouch watched in alarm as Suzaku suddenly staggered back, both hands gripping his head in clear agony. "Suzaku, what's wrong?!"

"What the hell–?!"

The sigil of a scarlet crane burst into life in Suzaku's right eye as he fell to his knees, staring through Lelouch into the distance with open-mouthed shock.

Is… is this some kind of Geass, as I thought before?! But if so, then why can't he control it like I can?! Damn it, if that girl from Shinjuku hadn't died I could pry some answers out of her! "Suzaku, answer me! I can't help you if I don't understand what's happening!"

Despair and faint horror rapidly overtook the pain on Suzaku's face as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "It's always the same, one crushing failure after another… is this all I amount to, Lelouch?! A worthless strawman or punching bag, born into the world just to highlight how much better you are?!"

It's showing him something, Lelouch realized. Possible futures, perhaps? "Suzaku, you're my friend and I'm trying to help you–!"

Suzaku's eye snapped back to normal with a snarl, his gaze rapidly focusing on Lelouch. "You used my apparent death as an excuse to go on a rampage against the Britannians who gave me literally any kind of chance, and now you won't breathe a word of accountability to the Japanese who wrecked my life!"

Oh my God, Lelouch thought, is he still on that?! "If anyone 'wrecked your life', Suzaku, it's you!"

Suzaku's inner fire immediately and completely went out as Lelouch watched something break in his eyes. A part of the lost prince regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth.

"...you know what? You're absolutely right," Suzaku murmured with a broken chuckle, barely catching himself from completely falling to the floor. "Everything that's happened since that day… all the blood shed, on both sides… it's all my fault."

I hate that it had to come to this, but he's finally seeing reason–

"Everything that other people do to me is my own fault for not being able to prevent it. My responsibility."

No, damn it, he's just lost his mind in a completely different direction! "Suzaku, that's not what I–!"

"My mind, my life, the whole world… I fucked it all up by myself," he muttered with a firming tone Lelouch didn't like. "...and if I can't fix it by myself, then I really should just die."

Lelouch suddenly remembered what Suzaku had just said moments before, that ever since his father's murder he'd felt a constant pressure from the Japanese public… reading between the lines, he must have been referring to seppuku. How much of that anger was a coping or defense mechanism to stave off… this? "Suzaku, it's not like that. You need to calm down and let me–"

The soldier's head snapped up to stare at Lelouch, his unfocused expression giving the unsettling impression of two pairs of eyes glaring at him. "Let you make my decisions for me, since I'm too delusional to do it myself? Always trying to tell me what I can or can't do, trying to force me around to your way of thinking… the only Britannian trying to gaslight me is you, Lelouch!"

Before the dark-haired prince could even answer that, Suzaku abruptly pushed him out of the way before running to the elevators, forcing the door open with his bare hands, and jumping down the shaft.

"SUZAKU!"

Lelouch reached the open shaft just in time to see Suzaku land safely atop the elevator at ground level, before opening its emergency hatch and making his exit.

Hours later, in the ghetto depths…

A heaving Suzaku staggered into an empty back alley, the cruel whispers of the Japanese echoing in the street behind him. "Damn it… DAMN IIIIIIT!"

The Geass in his eye triggered again, and the world in Suzaku's vision shattered and warped as if he'd stepped into a kaleidoscope. Everywhere he looked, dozens upon dozens of other versions of himself were on display in other times and places.

One iteration of Suzaku was staring at Lelouch in horror and rage as a shattered mask fell from the latter's face.

Another had stepped on his friend's face, grinding it into the gravel stones at Kururugi Shrine.

A third had taken up arms in the Lancelot to aid Lelouch against a mighty foe, only to be defeated in an instant and tossed aside like trash.

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS?! WE BARELY SO MUCH AS LOOKED AT C.C., WE NEVER CONTRACTED WITH HER! THIS BREAKS SO MANY RULES!

Glimpses into countless universes prevailed upon Suzaku as his indignant partner echoed his distress.

"I can't…!"

Suzaku whirled around, looking literally anywhere for a reprieve and finding none as he bumped against an old concrete wall… "I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!"

…before turning and bashing his head against it with a horrid scream, hot pain searing through their shared mind as a trickle of red dripped to the pavement below.

Over and over, the boy bashed his brains against the beckoning brick before him until the world in his perception abruptly fixed itself back into place, his face adorned with a crimson mask as he slumped to the ground in miserable relief and sprawled out behind a dumpster.

Time passed as dark clouds overtook the sky, though no part of the young man could find the motivation to keep track of it. Thunder crashed in the distance, before the first droplets of water began to fall.

A broken laugh escaped the youth's body as Suzaku retreated into the recesses of their mind. "Of course," one bitter heart groaned as the rain rapidly picked up and began to pound. "Of. Fucking. Course…"

Before too much longer, he caught the sound of footsteps splashing through the rain. Just my damn luck. A mugger? Did some nationalist piece of shit finally run out of patience waiting for Suzaku to kill himself, and decide to put us out of Japan's misery?

One's gaze slowly trailed up the thick rubber overboots that were timidly stepping into his peripheral vision, finding slender legs that soon disappeared into a yellow raincoat.

A horrified gasp confirmed his burgeoning suspicions, as Elle crouched down to eye level with him, shielding them both from the rain with a black umbrella. "Eden… Suzaku, what happened to you?!"

His first gut response might have been a sarcastic Yes, or in the current black mood even a caustic Who cares?, but… staring into her worried eyes, watching tears stream down her face over him, either sentiment died as it formed. "...you shouldn't be here."

"Wha– why not? Sure, it was an invasion of privacy to take your phone's GPS data to find you," she admitted as she produced a handkerchief from her pocket and started cleaning his bloody face, "and I'm sorry for that. But you wouldn't respond to anyone's calls or texts, and we were all getting worried."

She doesn't get it… "That's… that's not it. I'm a sick, toxic, broken freak. You shouldn't want anything to do with me."

Elle didn't respond to that at first, even as she kept cleaning the blood away from Suzaku's face and self-inflicted injury. "You've got some cuts and a little bruising," she noted, before awkwardly holding the umbrella with her thighs and hiking up her raincoat to tear a strip off of her skirt.

She caught Suzaku's gaze lingering on the exposed skin, but suppressed her reaction and put it on the shelf to deal with later. "You probably wouldn't know it," she said as much to fill the silence as anything else, "but I took some med classes for a while after testing into early college. Of course, eventually I realized I kind of hated it, no surprise, and went into engineering and physics like my dad."

Judging by the bloody smear on the wall next to Suzaku trailing down from around where his head would be at full height, Elle could guess at what might have happened even if the cause remained an utter mystery. If he had some kind of psychotic fit, that might at least match up with what I'm seeing…

What really surprised her though, as she wrapped the cloth strip around Suzaku's head as an impromptu bandage, was how little comparative physical damage he'd seemed to have sustained. Even the bleeding was already slowing down, although with the rain contaminating the evidence she could only wonder how long he'd been like this. He didn't seem to show the usual symptoms of a concussion, either.

"...if you weren't that interested in medicine, then why did you study it?"

"Because my dad wanted me to do literally anything else with my life except follow in his footsteps," she answered honestly. "And hey, it's proving useful here, so I can't complain too much."

Suzaku didn't say anything else after that beyond remaining compliant as she continued to check on and treat him. Still, he didn't seem interested in moving, and it wouldn't do him any good to stay out in this downpour.

I bet Cecile or Euphemia would know how to get him in gear, but I'm coming up blank. The least they could have done is let me peek at their instruction manual!

"Suzaku…can you stand?"

"...yeah."

Elle waited for him to translate that word into action, and realized after a moment he most likely wasn't going to. Watching him sit there like a broken puppet with its strings cut, uncaring of the storm or circumstances… it tore at her. "Then… then if nothing else," she asked while offering a hand up, "will you please come with me somewhere out of the rain? You're going to get sick if you stay here like this, and nobody wants that."

For a few seconds, she feared that Suzaku wouldn't respond. This time, her patience was rewarded when the troubled soldier took her hand and awkwardly pulled himself to his feet. He started to stumble, but Elle was right there to hold and steady him. "Don't be afraid of leaning on me if you need to, Suzaku. And I get it if you don't want to deal with anyone else tonight; there's a cheap hotel we can stay at just beyond the ghetto."

"Thanks, Elle."

It took some doing, but eventually the pair worked themselves into a semi-comfortable walking pace under her umbrella.

"Suzaku, I… I owe you an apology."

Elle felt Suzaku's body shift against her, probably looking at her in confusion, but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. Not with so much shame welling up inside her.

"...what, for tracking my phone? I get it, it's fi–"

"No, for…"

Elle huffed, trying to force her jumbled thoughts into something like a coherent order. "It's like this. Even before the invasion, I grew up on imported Japanese entertainment, including a bunch of shoujo anime and manga. All throughout elementary and middle school, I had… fantasies, basically, of living out a dream romance like some of the ones I'd find in those books and shows."

Suzaku didn't need to voice his confusion for Elle to know he was feeling it, so she quickly carried on. "When you helped me out with that purse snatcher incident two years ago," she continued, "you just seemed so much like that kind of perfect boyfriend, I… I kind of pushed those fantasies on you without a second thought, even though we barely said as much as two words to each other directly. And then when we met again the other day at Camelot, it… to me, it almost felt like the end of a timeskip partway through the first episode, and the show was finally about to start for real. It barely even occurred to me that you had your own identity outside of that role, nevermind the question of whether you would even want it. If that wasn't bad enough, I… I!"

A full-body sob wracked Elle's body, her shame and embarrassment enough that she couldn't even walk anymore. "I was self-centered enough to feel jealous and attacked when I saw the way you connected so easily with Princess Euphemia and Ms. Cecile! And that was when I started to realize, Suzaku… that even though I always tried so hard to be better than the loudest parts of my country, Suzaku, I was still treating you like an object instead of a person, and there's nothing I can ever do that will be enough to make up for that. I'm so… I'm so sorry!"

"...so even though you barely knew me," Suzaku slowly asked, "you're saying you spent two years daydreaming about doing cute things with me and us making each other happy?"

Elle felt a shake in Suzaku's chest against her, and readied herself for the well-deserved verbal lashing he was doubtless preparing to unleash.

"Holy shit," he muttered with a chuckle, "that's gotta be the most adorable thing I've ever heard."

If life were one of Elle's precious anime, she could perfectly imagine the scene snapping into grayscale and zooming in on her expression of complete and utter bafflement with some kind of funny sound effect.

Nani.

Heat pooling in her cheeks, Elle's shame morphed into indignation as she finally found it in her to look up at the widening grin on Suzaku's face. "Are… are you serious? I'm trying to be real, here, pouring my heart out–"

Any further attempts at a scolding was muffled when Suzaku enveloped her in a tight embrace. "–and it's probably the kindest thing anyone's ever said to or about me. I needed to hear it. …not to mention it's absolutely precious," he lightly teased.

A kiss on the crown of her head killed any further retort Elle might have come up with; instead, she slowly wrapped her arms around him, the pair falling into semi-comfortable silence under her umbrella.

"...if you're going to kiss me, I'd rather it be somewhere else." Not that I could have said that out loud face to face, she privately admitted.

Suzaku sighed, but Elle kept herself in check to properly hear him out.

"I wish I could be your perfect, idealized boyfriend… but the reality is, in mind and soul I'm a walking calamity. I'm flattered, and I would like to get to know you better, but…"

The redhead scientist considered what he'd left unsaid for a moment, before disentangling and gently tugging him back towards the hotel they'd been walking towards.

Nothing else is said as we step inside. The hotel lobby's pretty classy to my perspective, but then I get childhood memories of some even fancier places Suzaku would sometimes see as the Prime Minister's son as a kid. Suzaku had still been in the back of our heart pretty much the whole time, struggling to process that whole shitstorm with Lelouch earlier.

It's… difficult, not to just sit and marinate in the frustration and borderline sense of betrayal. I mean, I'd pretty much figured from the start he wouldn't really hear us out and that he'd be more focused on getting us to conform with his agenda, but.

The way he pretended to humor us and then blew off our perspective like you might to a fucking child still hurt in a way I wasn't prepared for. Smug little royal bastard…

He can't help himself, Suzaku mutters from the back of our heart. He's just what life's turned him into. Not that different from me…

Slaves to your memes, huh? I admit, it's a damn tempting way to look at the world. If everyone's just reacting to outside stimuli in accordance with the social and cultural programming they've been subjected to since birth, then it's easier to push down the blistering rage that comes up when people make stupid or malicious decisions. If it isn't their fault, then there's no pressure to hold them responsible. At least, not compared to acknowledging those decisions as conscious and deliberate choices.

…so you don't agree, then?

I agree that it's a convenient story for keeping my temper under control.

A hand on our damp back gently pushes us towards a well-lit bathroom, and it abruptly occurs to me that I'm alone in a hotel room with a cute girl who admits she's interested in who she thinks I am.

"Get yourself a hot shower or something," she says from behind. "I'll have the staff wash your clothes so they're all good and dry. This chain usually keeps nice and fluffy robes or pajamas the clients can change into afterward."

I spare a look at the actual room, and go figure that there's only one bed. "Gotcha, I'll sleep on the floor tonight."

"Huh? What are you talking abou–"

A pregnant pause fills the room as I turn to check Elle's reaction. She's just… blankly staring at the lone bed in the room, before suddenly it seems to click in her head as her face goes pink and her eyes widen. "Ohhhh, is that why I kept getting those weird looks?"

So freakin' cute…!

"So, hey, can we talk about some stuff later?"

Elle blinks, before smiling as she shucks out of her raincoat and daaaaamn that skirt is tiny now that part of it's on my head. "Yeah, definitely!"

Of course, the good mood disappears as I turn back away from her to get cleaned up.

Suzaku… you asked me yesterday why I was so keen on accepting your persona fusion offer.

You're ready to come clean?

I jumped on your deal, Suzaku... because I thought that if I could be you instead of me, I could matter. That I could be more than just a defective social machine used at moments of convenience and left alone to rust in all other circumstances.

Hot water starts pouring down on me, banishing the cold that had seeped into our bones.

…but it can't wash away the trauma.

Like the most natural thing in the world, that song from the club comes right back to mind again. "I'm a fuck-up," I whisper. "I'm defective... that's what I've always said."

I'm a failure, Suzaku continues, joining in as he finally breaks down and starts to process the reality of Tohdoh, Kaguya, and now even Lelouch all having turned their backs on him. I'm unwanted... I have to do this on my own.

"I've gotta prove me wrong, I've got nowhere to run, they'd love to watch me fall… my back's against the wall, and it's me against the world."

The shower curtain suddenly slides open, and before I can do anything Elle's already hugging me tightly from behind. "Whatever you've been through before, you're not alone now. You've got me, Cecile, and the Princess all in your corner… and probably Lloyd too, for whatever that's worth."

It's my turn to play the coward – err, force Suzaku into the driver's seat for his own development, as he starts to stumble against Elle before straightening up. "But… what if I'm not the man you all think I am?"

"What if you could be," she asks, "and you're the only one who can't see it?"

Suzaku trembles for a long moment, our shared impulses at war with each other. The unrelenting terror of showing vulnerability again, the raging paranoia screaming in our ears… eventually, the blind and desperate panic to grab for anything even vaguely resembling a lifeline wins out.

I… I don't know what to say, I can't come up with the words–

Another song runs through my head as I mull that over. Then borrow someone else's.

"...if I go crazy," he croaks out as a sob wracks our body, "then will you still call me Superman?"

For what feels like an hour, Elle doesn't say anything. Eventually, though, she nods into our shoulder. "And if you're alive and well, I'll be there, holding your hand–mmph!"

Elle positively seems to melt in our grasp under the searing kiss Suzaku's giving her, before she reaches up to weakly run a hand through our hair. "Re… reset," she weakly gasps out when we finally break for air.

Suzaku stares at her beaming face, with no idea what the hell she means. "I'm sorry?"

"It's a spell I learned from my friend," she explains. "So we can start over from now on, and properly get to know each other. …although I might not be using it right, but whatever, she'd understand. AHEM! I'm Elle Lubie, and if it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to try being your girlfriend."

"I'm Suzaku Kururugi," he reintroduces himself with a smile, taking Elle's hand and kissing her knuckle. "My life's kind of a mess right now, but if you don't mind then I'd consider it an honor and a privilege to include you in it."

Elle blushes a bit, clearly enjoying the moment, before her eyes grow wide and that blush gets a hell of a lot deeper as her gaze starts drifting down… and… everyone involved starts to remember that she technically walked in on us in the shower.