"I'm sorry, but I need to go now," Jo said to Fritz over the phone. "I have an exam in calculus to study for, and you know that's my worst subject."
Fritz chuckled. "You underestimate yourself, Josephine. I know you will do fine on the exam, but I will close now so you can start studying."
"I wish I had your confidence in my abilities," said Jo.
I don't understand it, thought Jo as she opened her textbook. The numbers swam before her eyes. As Martina, I was brilliant in this kind of thing, but as Jo, it's a different story!
After half an hour of studying, the numbers began to run together, and Jo felt herself drifting away, floating on a wave of warmth and peace.
She seemed to be walking on clouds, high above the world, but she felt no fear. She saw a young girl of nine or ten, dressed in the fashion of the early 1960's: a pleated skirt with a white blouse underneath a navy blue vest. She had light brown hair, which she wore in braids, and soft hazel eyes. A light sprinkle of freckles adorned her nose and cheeks.
Jo was so strongly reminded of Beth it was like a punch in the stomach. Beth had also worn her hair in braids at the age. She'd been healthy then; the illness hadn't yet claimed her, damaging her heart and causing it to fail.
Jo had to swallow a lump in her throat.
The girl spoke. "Mutter?"
Stunned, Jo could only stare.
The girl came closer. "Ich weiss, dass du meine Mutter bist." I know you're my mother.
"But I don't have any kids," Jo managed to choke out. Not in this life, anyway.
The girl frowned, began to slowly shake her head.
"Ich habe keine Kinder," Jo repeated.
The hazel eyes held mild reproach. "Kennst du mich nicht? Ich bin Elisabeth!" Don't you know me? I'm Elisabeth!
"Elisabeth," Jo breathed. It was the name she, as Martina, had chosen for her third child, should it be a girl.
The child she hadn't stayed in that life long enough to meet.
Elisabeth now stood directly in front of Jo. Jo reached out with her hands but was unable to touch the child; it was as if an invisible pane of glass separated them.
"Es tut mir leid. Ich muss jetzt gehen." I'm sorry. I have to go now.
Elisabeth's form began to fade into shadow until it was no longer there.
"No, Elisabeth, please don't go! Bitte!" Jo was convulsed with heavy sobs, and then suddenly someone was holding her, comforting her. She opened her eyes and found herself back in her bedroom, being held close by Beth.
"I'm right here, Jo. I'm not going anywhere."
Jo drew in a ragged breath, then let it go. Had it been real, or just a dream? Had she really seen the daughter of Dieter and Martina?
Overcome with emotion, she continued to cry, and Beth kept holding her, murmuring soothing words - their roles for once reversed, the younger sister consoling the older sister rather than the other way around.
Jo made her way to class with trepidation. She knew she'd receive the results of her calculus exam today, and that thought made her quake inside. Her grades in that class had been discouraging so far, and she had a real fear she'd have to repeat the class in the spring term.
She felt her stomach churn as she reached the classroom and slipped into her usual seat. The class fell silent as the instructor, Dr. Turner, entered the classroom holding a tall stack of papers and approached the podium.
"Overall, I was pleased with the results of this exam," he announced as he began to pass back the papers. "I could tell most of you put in serious effort to earn a passing grade." His emphasis on the word 'most' made Jo shudder.
At last she received her own paper, which she practically snatched out of her classmate's hand in nervous anticipation. She saw the 'B+' penciled in red on the front and went dizzy with relief.
Wow, that's the highest grade I ever got in calculus or any other math class! she thought to herself, wondering to herself whether or not her encounter with Elisabeth had had anything to do with the grade. It occurred to her that, while she was taking the exam, the answers had seemed to just come to her - much as they had when she'd been Martina as a student. Were aspects of that life now leaking over into her twenty-first century life? If so, was the meeting with Elisabeth part of that phenomenon?
Since the brief time she'd spent with the child, she'd developed an intense yearning to see her again, to know more about her life. What had her childhood been like? Was she still alive today? If so, she'd be in about her early sixties. Did she still live in Berlin?
It broke Jo's heart to realize she'd probably never know the answers to those questions.
When class was over, she hurried to find Fritz to tell him the good news. She found him standing in the hallway outside his classroom, talking to a young man.
"It is easy enough to say, ach! It is too difficult; I cannot do it," said Fritz. "But if you will take small steps, a little bit every day, you will soon find that, to your astonishment, it is already done. Ah, Josephine, what a pleasant surprise!"
Jo giggled. "You knew I was coming now like I do every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!"
Fritz pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "Nevertheless, it is always a pleasure to see you. Shall we go to lunch now?"
Jo took his hand, and they stepped out into the sunshine together.
"I wonder what is on the menu for today," said Fritz.
"Something yummy, I'm sure," said Jo. "Hey, remember that calculus exam I was so worried about?" She held the paper so he could see it.
"Ah, that is quite a good grade!" Fritz grinned. "I told you you could do it, and now, we must celebrate!"