My Only One – Chapter 11
Your POV
You went back to Kuramas caves in the South, stealthing around. The Harvest Moon was tomorrow. You stayed up during the and all night and stay away the next day also. You wanted to make sure you slept when Mirai had instruct you to.
You weren't sure how you felt about dreaming, you didn't dream much as you napped more than slept.
You bathed in the hot springs within the caves, said hello to Kurama and his four wives who joined you in there. Kurama looked at you, seeing you deep in thought. "_, are you alright, you seem a little lost since you've been back."
You smiled warmly, "Inuyasha has been sealed to a tree, and I went to see my mother and unborn child after." You spoke with a nonchalant tone.
Kurama's eyes went into curious fox mode. "How on earth did he get sealed, and may I ask why you left him there, surely you can undo the seal?" Kurama asked with a smirk.
You smirked. "Mirai said not too, and to be honest I could use a break from worry about him. He's safe from Sesshomaru sealed to the tree. Mirai said he would unsealed in 50 years or something." You advised.
Kurama tilted his head with a smirk and responded. "Yes you could do with the rest, you work your arse off on bounties and I know you watch over Inuyasha in your free time. Its about time you were a bit selfish _."
You giggled. "You know I agree, and I do and don't feel guilty about it right now." Your eyes were exhausted, and Kurama had seen it for the last few years.
"Have a nice soak, take some time off, and get to know yourself better. After all these years you haven't processed what happened nearly 150 years ago." Kurama looked at you with a fatherly look, do as your told look as he spoke.
You nodded and agreed. It was time for you regain yourself, your energy and truly process the events of being mated by his evil Lordship Sesshomaru.
You lounged and was quite lazy the rest of that day and night. On the following day you read a book; something you hadn't done for a while. You were in a nice comfy lilac kimono with a tab of light blue on the sleeves and deep purple and deep blue obi. One of Kuramas wives made for you, it made you feel feminine. Your long way hair was down your back and you twirled in it when you first put it on. It was nice to feel like an ordinary woman.
The night came, a full harvest moon was now gleaming in the sky, and you got yourself ready to sleep, you were slightly nervous was this night would bring, you took a deep breath and relaxed on a mattress
You closed your eyes and for some reason your mate mark pulsed. You ignored it, it wasn't the same sensation when he was close to you. You felt your eyes drop, whether you liked it or not sleep took you.
Sesshoumarus' POV
Sesshomaru went to a hot spring. He hadn't slept for 2 weeks, his dreams still filled with nightmarish vision of _ dead. He believed she had died as he hadn't seen or smelt her in over 150 years. Sesshomaru had been dreaming that he had killed her the night he marked her. He ventured to a hot spring. He had a soak without Jaken rambling at him. He had his head leant back on the side of the hot spring; the biggest harvest moon was above him. For some reason for the last 150 years, he always fell asleep on the harvest moon whether he wanted to or not. He was preparing himself for the nightmares that lied ahead. He got out and dressed himself as he leaned and lied against a tree. As he watched the moon his eyes closed, and he felt himself fall into a slumber.
In the 'Dream' Yours and Sesshomaru's POV
You were looked around; the scenery was beautiful. It was sunny and you were in a forest, you could hear a water fall and you walked toward it.
It was the border of the North and West somewhere you used to sit often. You felt pregnant again, you were in the kimono you went to sleep in, no mask, no hood. You felt your tummy, you had a little bit of a swelling, like you had before the baby was extracted into the pearl. You felt your tummy, you rubbed it gently. You could feel the tiniest heartbeat. This feels bizarre you thought.
Sesshomaru found himself in a tranquil dream, the scenery was not of death, he recognised the place and could hear the waterfall. He suddenly picked up a familiar scent and he followed it his steps big and fast as he walked toward it. It was you, and here you weren't dead, you looked so radiant, alive, and you smelt amazing as you always did. There was a slight difference in your smell though, but he didn't know what it was. Your ethereal beauty took his breath away as he got close to you staring at you in disbelief.
You stood by the waterfall, you then heard footsteps coming toward you. You froze as you turned. It was Sesshomaru, you narrowed your eyes. You hadn't been this close to him 150 years.
"What are you doing in my dream?" You asked angrily, his presence was not welcome around you, you were in a peaceful place.
Sesshomaru was taken back by your angry words. He replied with irritation and scowled a response. "This is my dream, not yours. Why are you here?" His gaze was fixed on you, his words sounded honest.
"No, this is definitely my dream." You looked angry at him; however, his face had softened in a disbelief sort of look as you asserted yourself.
Sesshomaru's expression then changed and mirrored your confusion. Despite this being the first time Sesshomaru had dreamt of you in years, where you were not a nightmarish figure or dead. He didn't accept your claim as he spoke. "How can this be? This is my dream, and yet you are here. Explain yourself?!"
You shook your head in annoyance and frustration. "You know what, it doesn't matter, I don't know why you are here." You retorted.
"You're right. It doesn't matter. I don't understand why you're here myself. Perhaps this is mere coincidence, or a strange twist of fate." Sesshomaru said, his words emotionless.
Sesshomaru stared at you for a while, his eyes tracing your barely aged face a figure. You got frustrated with the silence. Sesshomaru's mind wandered, and a surprising thought crossed his mind. He wondered about the existence of a mate mark on your body, even within the confines of this dream. And strangely, there was a part of him that did not wish to harm or kill you. This revelation shook Sesshomaru internally, as he struggled to understand the conflicting emotions stirring within him
"This is what I'm doing in this dream then, standing just getting stared at." You spoke, your tone sarcastic.
Your words snapped Sesshomaru out of his contemplation. He realized that he had been quietly staring at you captivated by your living presence. With a hint of arrogance, he retorted, masking his momentary vulnerability. "Don't flatter yourself half breed. I was merely assessing your unusual presence in my dream. I was not staring at you."
Sesshomaru met your gaze, his eyes narrowing as he acknowledged the simmering anger within you. His voice held a hint of resignation as he stated, acknowledging your justifiable frustration. "Yes, I know your angry with me."
You heart felt like all the emotions hit it at once. Your eyes began to tear. "Angry! I am not angry; I am in pain! And you did this to me!" You raised your voice, something you hadn't really done before.
As you spoke, your words caught Sesshomaru off guard. Your tears revealed the depth of your pain and suffering for the past 150 years. His expression softened involuntarily as he listened intently to your words. The realization of his contribution to your agony struck him profoundly. Sesshomaru's voice carried a mixture of guilt and surprise as he responded, his tone slightly shaken "Pain. You have been in pain…because of me?"
You shook your head in anger and shoved him with your hands. You then pulled the collar of your kimono down and revealing the mate mark. "You marked me, branded me, when you hate my very existence for being a half demon. You've ruined my life, I run, I hide from you. You looked for me to kill me. Yes, I am in pain!"
Sesshomaru stood motionless as you pushed him away, your emotional outburst raw and palpable. His eyes widened as you revealed the mate mark on your skin, a physical reminder of the past that he had forcibly intertwined their fates together. The air in his throat caught as you accused him of ruining your life, of hunting you relentlessly. The weight of his actions weighed heavily upon him, and guilt swirled within his eyes. Sesshomaru struggled for words, unable to find any argument against your pain.
Sesshomaru's mind wandered once again as he took in your passionate outburst. The fact that he had struggled to find you for so long had led him to assume that you had been long dead. Yet here she stood before him, alive and defiant, with a depth of pain and anger in your words. The realization hit him hard that his actions had not only caused you immense suffering but also fuelled his own assumptions about your fate. This was a strange dream he thought, you seemed so real.
"Are you going to say anything?" You said your voice shaky from tears.
Your questioning gaze met Sesshomaru's speechless expression. He struggled to find the right words to express the maelstrom of emotions churning within him. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke, his voice laced with a mix of guilt and shame. "What…what do you want me to say? I…I don't know what to say to erase the pain I've inflicted upon you."
You broke down, you tears fell as you dropped to your knees. "I'm so tired." You sobbed your words.
As your tears began to fall and your body slumped to the ground, Sesshomaru's heart wrenched at the raw display of emotional exhaustion. He hesitated, torn between his own conflicted emotions and a strange urge to comfort you. His voice, usually stoic and composed, now held a rare hint of vulnerability as he spoke softly. "Tired...? Please... don't cry."
"Don't cry? This is a sick and twisted dream. You would never say anything that comforting." Your voice held sadness and truth.
Sesshomaru's heart clenched at your disbelief and the harsh reality of your statement. Deep down, he knew that you were right. He had rarely shown compassion or concern, yet here he was, feeling a strange yearning to comfort you. He crouched down to your level, his voice carrying a trace of both guilt and sincerity. "This is my dream, _. And I…I don't know why I find myself wanting to say these words, but…your pain…it pains me."
You sobbed out words "My heart has turned dark, because of you. You did this to me Sesshomaru."
Sesshomaru's expression darkened at your confession of a darkening heart due to his actions. His hand instinctively reached out, hesitantly hovering in the air near you as a mix of helplessness and regret crossed his features. "Your heart is turning dark…? Because of me? What have I done to cause you so much pain and despair…?" He spoke his words slow and confused.
You looked up your tear-filled eyes staring into his soul. "You have caused resentment. I can't live without being in the shadows. I can't have our…" You stopped yourself not being able to admit the acknowledgement of the baby. It didn't matter, he wouldn't care.
Sesshomarus eyes widened as your words trailed off. His face showed thousands of questions before he regained his normal stoic approach. "Resentment? Shadows? What are you referring to? And…our…"
Sesshomaru's eyes widened slightly as your words trailed off, the mention of something that he knew nothing about causing a flicker of confusion. He noticed your hesitation, your inability to speak further. A thousand questions swirled in his mind, but he chose not to push you yet, his focus remaining firmly on the turmoil of emotions between them
You shook your head and spoke "My life is no life; all I do now is hide from you."
Sesshomaru's expression twisted with a mixture of guilt and anger. The image of you constantly having to hide from him, your life turned into a game of shadows, struck a deep chord within him.
"You've had to live a life of constant hiding because of me...? I..." Sesshomaru's voice trailed off, his guilt-ridden eyes meeting yours as he struggled to find the right words to express the weight of his regret.
You would kill me, wouldn't you? If you saw me?" You stated your eyes still teared.
Sesshomaru couldn't deny her assumption. Yes, if he had come across you alive and well, there was a strong possibility that he would have reacted with anger and hostility. The thought made his heart ache, and his expression softened just slightly as he spoke, his voice filled with remorse. "Yes... In the past, in the heat of my anger and hatred, if I had confronted you when you were alive... yes, I would have sought to kill you
Your head tilted, this may be a dream, but this Sesshomaru thinks you're dead. Your voice went soft. "Do you remember when you first sat with me in that tree when I was reading, and you stopped me putting my mask on, nearly 200 years ago?"
Sesshomaru's mind flashed back to that distant memory. The image of you reading in the tree suddenly came to the forefront of his recollections. The moment he had stepped in and prevented you from putting on your mask. He nodded slowly; his voice tinged with a pang of nostalgia as he responded. "Yes, I remember that night. You were reading in the tree, and I... I... intervened to stop you from wearing your mask."
"Do you remember when I made that wish on the shooting star and you said I was naïve" you asked.
Sesshomaru recalled that night vividly. He remembered you making a wish on a shooting star and the exchange that followed. His expression remained stoic, but a hint of recollection flickered in his eyes as he responded. "Yes, I remember. You made a wish upon a shooting star, and I called you naive for believing your wish could come true."
"Well, you were right, it didn't." you said sadly.
Curiosity tugged at Sesshomaru's mind, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly. He couldn't help but wonder what your wish had been, a secret that you had never revealed to him. He responded calmly, a hint of intrigue seeping into his voice. "Your wish... It did not come true as you had hoped. And why is that I wonder...?"
Your eyes filled with tears and your mouth holding off a frown. "I wished that you would have been my friend"
Sesshomaru's heart jolted at your confession, your revelation of your wish piercing through his chest like a dagger. Your words hung heavy in the air, and he found himself at a loss for words. The notion that your fondest wish was for him to have been your friend stirred a mixture of emotions within him, a blend of guilt, surprise, and a strange sense of regret. Finally, he responded, his voice quiet and laced with remorse. "You wished... for me to be your friend...?"
You nodded and spoke reflecting on his actions. "I honestly thought over the 40 odd years you came to find me, that we kind of were."
Sesshomaru's heart ached as you confirmed your secret wish. The thought that for over 40 years, you had longed for his friendship, believing that they had some kind of bond, hit him like a wave of shame and guilt. His voice lowered, carrying a hint of regret as he spoke to you. "I... I had no idea. You thought we were... friends? All this time?"
"I mean wouldn't anyone. You used to just randomly show up and watch a sunset with me. We got to know each other or so I thought…."
Sesshomaru's mind rewound the past, remembering the random instances when he had come across you were watching the sunset. At the time, he had dismissed it as mere happenstance, not realizing the significance it held for you. Nor realising until now, it was him being magnetically pulled to you. His voice held a tone of realization. "We... We did get to know each other, during those times we spent watching sunsets. I... I see now that you perceived those moments as something more."
"You should have just stayed away!" You said sternly.
Sesshomaru's heart clenched at your words, the weight of your regret and the pain he had caused you crashing down upon him. He knew that you was right, that he should have stayed away from you altogether. His voice, laced with guilt, carried a hint of resignation. "I... You're right. I should have stayed away from you, spared you all this pain and suffering. But... I can't change the past."
"Why didn't you, why didn't you stay away?" You asked your voice sad and confused. The question that burnt through your very being.
Sesshomaru's usual stoic demeanour faltered for a moment as he grappled with the question. He wrestled with the answer, knowing that it was your scent and your presence that had drawn him to you time and time again. Yet, he knew that revealing this would only complicate matters further. He couldn't bring himself to admit it, so he skirted around the truth, his words coming out in a strained tone. "I... I don't know. It was... a mistake."
"And what about this. Why did you claim me?" You asked showing the mate marking again.
Sesshomaru's eyes locked onto the mate marking on your skin, a tangible symbol of the bond he had unwittingly forced upon you. His heart wavered, torn between guilt and an inexplicable possessiveness. He struggled to find the words to explain, his voice laced with a touch of shame and resignation. "The...the mate marking... I... I don't know why I claimed you. It was a moment of... weakness, a mistake."
"A mistake I can't get rid of, I must wear this mark no matter what. No one can have me now." You said your eyes sad, the realisation that was part of your anger. You could not go and find a mate that wanted and accepted you.
Sesshomaru's heart constricted at your words, the realization of the lasting impact his actions had on your life weighing heavily upon him. The knowledge that you was permanently marked because of him, that you would never be available to anyone else, filled him with a mixture of guilt and a strange sense of possessiveness. His voice carried a hint of regret as he responded quietly. "Yes, it seems that you are bound to wear that mark... because of me. No one else can have you, you're right."
You looked at him, your eyes still confused looking into his soul in disbelief. He almost sounded a little smug.
Sesshomaru met your gaze, his own eyes reflecting a maelstrom of emotions. He felt your disbelief and confusion, your eyes searching his soul as you tried to comprehend the inexplicable bond between them. His stoic facade began to crack, and he silently fought the torrent of feelings stirring within him.
"Why can't I just hate you." You asked him, hoping he would know.
Sesshomaru's heart ached at your tormented question. He understood your confusion and frustration, the inability to fully detest him despite all the pain he had inflicted upon you. His words were spoken softly, carrying a hint of vulnerability and a deep-seated confusion of his own. "I... I don't know. You should hate me. I've caused you nothing but pain and misery. It makes no sense that you can't bring yourself to hate me completely."
"If I hated you, how you hated me, it would be easier to just face you, kill you." You said your face frowned and voice frustrated.
Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat at your words, the weight of your sentiments sinking in. The realization that you were wrestling with your own feelings, torn between hatred and some inexplicable connection, hit him like a ton of bricks. He replied, his voice filled with a mixture of regret and resignation. "You're right. If you hated me as I hated you, it would indeed be easier to face me, to end it all. But... I sense there's more to your feelings than just hate, isn't there?"
You held your stomach, thinking of the unborn child and the memories of when Sesshomaru had sat with you. You were so confused, still after all this time.
Sesshomaru noticed your hand clutching your stomach, his gaze darting quickly to the slight swell of your abdomen and lingering there for a moment. Realization dawned upon him, his intuition telling him that there was more going on than he could immediately see. The change in your scent.
"Are... Are you...? Sesshomaru's voice caught in his throat, a mix of surprise and confusion colouring his words. He couldn't bring himself to finish the question, his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for your response.
"Am I what?" you asked directly
Sesshomaru's eyes locked onto your stomach, still clutching it, and he struggled to find the right words to pose the question. He could sense that she was carrying a secret, something that went beyond the obvious signs. In a quiet, somewhat cautious voice, he spoke gently to you. "Are you... Are you with child...?"
Your face showed distain and turned. "Why would that matter?"
Sesshomaru could see the sudden change in your expression, the shift in your emotions as you tried to hide your reaction to his question. His heart thudded in his chest, realizing that he had touched upon a sensitive topic. He responded gently, his voice laced with care and concern. "It matters because... this baby... is it..."
Sesshomaru paused for a moment, struggling to find the right words, before finally voicing the thought that he couldn't deny any longer. "Is it mine?"
You held your stomach and moved away from him. "I won't let you hurt us!" you said sternly, your eyes narrowing with a protectiveness.
Sesshomaru's heart lurched at your protective statement, your determination to shield the unborn child from perceived harm. His eyes widened, a pang of guilt and realization striking him like a lightning bolt.
"I... I won't harm you or the child. I would never..." His voice faltered, a mix of astonishment and a strange sense of responsibility washing over him, as he understood the implications of what he had been implying with his words.
You cut him off. "Yes, you would. You would hurt me Sesshomaru. That's why I stay hidden, and I have put our baby somewhere safe, away from you!"
Sesshomaru's heart ached as your words hit him like a punch in the gut. He couldn't deny the truth behind your words, no matter how much he wished it to be otherwise. He had indeed hurt you, and as a result, you had hidden away and protected the baby from any potential harm he caused. His voice was filled with a mixture of remorse and determination. "You're... You're right. I have caused you pain, and that's why you hide away. But... I swear... I will not hurt you or the child, not anymore."
You sighed and tear fell from your cheek. "I wish this was real. Not just some twisted dream."
Sesshomaru's heart clenched as he heard the resignation in your voice, a pang of sorrow coursing through him. He longed to reach out and console you, to assure you that this wasn't just a dream, but a reality. Yet, he knew it was only wishful thinking. He responded quietly, his voice filled with a mixture of bitterness and sincerity.
"I... I wish this were real too, _. If only things had been different, if only I had not let hatred blind me..."
You put your hand on his cheek.
Sesshomaru's eyes widened slightly as he felt your hand on his cheek, the unexpected sensation sending a wave of emotions coursing through him. He had never expected such a gesture from you, especially in this moment. But the gentle touch stirred something within him, a mixture of surprise and a deep sense of connection.
"_..." he whispered your name and he looked into your eyes.
Sesshomaru's gaze searched your sad eyes, seeing the deep longing and complex emotions swirling within them. His heart ached at the sight, and he fought the urge to reach out and pull you close, to comfort you and assuage the sorrow in your gaze. But he held himself back, guilt and uncertainty holding him in place. "Please…please, don't look at me like that" He murmured his voice full of remorse.
You took you hand away and put your head down.
Sesshomaru's heart twinged as you removed your hand from his cheek, the absence of your touch leaving a gnawing emptiness within him. He longed for your touch, for the connection he had been denying himself. The sight of your head bowed, the pain and hurt you was experiencing, cut through him like a knife. His voice was soft, his words laced with a plea. "Please, don't…don't do that. Don't turn away from me."
You looked at him your eyes drenched in sadness and pain.
Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat as you looked up, your eyes meeting his gaze once more. The pain and sorrow still lingered within your gaze, but as their eyes connected, a flicker of hope ignited within him. His voice, barely above a whisper, carried a mix of vulnerability and a hint of desperation. "You're not…you're not turning away. Don't…don't shut me out."
"I never shut you out Sesshomaru, you shut me out." You said your voice sad full of truth.
Sesshomaru's heart wrenched at your words, the truth behind them like a stab to his heart. He knew you was right, that he had been the one to distance himself, to deny the connection between you both. His voice was heavy with shame and regret as he finally admitted the truth. "You're right. I… I shut you out. I pushed you away, blinded by my own hatred and pride. But... I realize now how wrong I was. I... I never should have shut you out."
"You know, I may be a half breed. I may have dirty blood as you call it. But I breathe the same air, and I bleed the same as you do." You said stern but soft.
Sesshomaru's heart clenched as your words echoed within him. He had always dismissed you as a half breed, viewing you with a mix of disdain and disgust. But your words struck a chord deep within him, bringing him face-to-face with the reality of his own prejudices and arrogance. His voice was quiet, laced with a hint of remorse and epiphany. "I... I've always thought of you as 'lesser', because of your blood. But... you're right. You breathe the same air and bleed the same as I do. There's no real distinction between us."
You smiled and almost giggled. "I'm glad this is a dream, I think if I heard you say that when I was awake, I'd probably fall in love with you"
Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat as he heard her words, the combination of your gentle laughter and your declaration sending a flutter through his chest. He stood silent; his eyes locked on yours as the truth of your words sank in. If he had said those words to you while she was alive, would it have made a difference? His voice, softer than usual, carried a hint of vulnerability and surprise. "Fall in love with me?"
You looked at him with a warm smile. "I denied romanticising you for those 47 years because I knew you did not accept my half demon heritage. But yes, if you had accepted me, I have no doubt how deep our connection could have truly been. I mean; I run and hide me and my unborn child from you now, but wouldn't it have been nice if I never had to"
Sesshomaru's heart ached as he listened to your words, the realization that his prejudices had cost them both so much. He imagined, for a moment, what it would have been like if he had embraced you fully, if he had never let his own bias get in the way. "Yes... it would have been nice. It would have been perfect. If I had accepted your half demon heritage and welcomed you into my life, instead of pushing you away. I... I was a fool."
"Perfect?" you asked your eyes soft.
Sesshomaru realized what he had said, the word "perfect" slipping out in his moment of vulnerability. He took a step closer to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and a strange realization. "Yes... perfect. If I had accepted you as you are, if I had opened my heart to you, then... then maybe we would have found happiness together."
Your face softened and looked in his eyes and with a sigh you spoke. "I guess at least for this moment I can feel the acceptance from you I longed for, even if this is a dream"
Sesshomaru's heart ached as he listened to your words. The idea that you had longed for his acceptance for so long, and that this moment, even in the confines of a dream, was giving you a taste of the acceptance you so desperately wanted, was a bittersweet realization. He reached out slowly, hesitating for a moment before gently placing his hand on your cheek again, his touch gentle and sincere. "Even if this is a dream... I give you, my acceptance. I accept you wholly, just as you are."
You put your hand on his which was on your cheek.
Sesshomaru's heart skipped a beat as you placed your hand on his, their hands intertwined on your cheek. The moment was strangely intimate, and he relished the feeling, the warmth of your touch against his skin. His voice was a quiet whisper, filled with a mixture of emotions. "You... you have no idea how much it means to be able to accept you like this, even if it's just for a moment. I... I wish it could always have been like this."
"I wish you were like this too. I guess here it's just us though. In this dream."
Sesshomaru's heart ached as he heard your words, knowing that his true self outside of the confinement of this dream, his cold and distant demeanour, had caused you pain in the waking world. But in this dream, it was just the two of you, and he yearned to be the person he wished he could have been all along. He wrapped his free arm around you and gently pulled you closer, his voice filled with a mixture of vulnerability and tenderness. "In this dream, I am the person I should have been. The person you deserve. For this moment, I am yours."
You put your arms around him, for some reason here you had the unborn child in your tummy, and it was strange. You felt pregnant here even though you knew her baby was in a amulet with your mother in the spirit realm.
Sesshomaru's heart fluttered as your arms encircled him, your embrace warm and comforting. Despite the strangeness of the dream, he couldn't help but notice the gentle swell of your stomach against him, as if the child was present within you.
His arms wrapped around you; his touch tender as he held you closer. He breathed in your scent, the familiar smell stirring his instincts and awakening something deep within him.
You snuggled into him. "Why couldn't you always have been like this."
Sesshomaru's heart ached as he held you close, the weight of your question hanging between them. He knew the answer but saying it out loud felt like a confession of his many failures and shortsightedness. He held her tighter, his voice quiet but filled with a mixture of regret and revelation. "I... I wish I could have been like this always. It wasn't because I didn't love you, _. It was because I couldn't see past my own foolishness and prejudice. I couldn't accept that which I had been taught to despise."
You looked up at him your eyes sparkling with care and almost empathy.
Sesshomaru's heart ached as he met your gaze, his eyes locked onto yours as he saw the sparks of care and empathy in your expression. No matter how much he had hurt you, you still had a glimmer of understanding for him. He gently ran his fingers through your hair, relishing in the softness of the strands between his fingertips. He marvelled at your gentle nature and patience, even after everything he had done to push you away.
You smiled. "You know, no matter what your like in the real world I am bound to you by your mark. Part of me doesn't fully hate that fact"
Sesshomaru's heart wavered as he listened to your words, a mixture of guilt and a strange sense of possessiveness stirring within him. He knew that the mark on your skin was a permanent reminder of the bond between you, and although he had been the one to force it upon you, a part of him felt a strange satisfaction in knowing she couldn't fully escape him. "You're bound to me... by the mark I placed upon you. And a part of you... doesn't hate it?"
You shook your head no. "I guess I liked you more than I let myself believe. At least here I don't feel so frightened to admit it."
Sesshomaru's heart fluttered at your admission, a mix of surprise and relief filling him. He had always sensed that your feelings for him may run deeper than anger or disdain, but hearing you say it out loud, even in this dream world, was a weight off his chest. "You… you liked me? Even after everything I did to push you away? After all the horrible things I used to say?"
You nodded. "Do you still think of me after all these years?"
Sesshomaru's heart wrenched at the question. It had been years since he had seen you, but not a day went by where he didn't think of you, wonder about you, and regret his actions. "Yes," he confessed quietly. "I… I still think of you, every day. I've never been able to forget about you."
You tapped on his armour. "Can this come off, it's a bit hard and cold."
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow, surprised by her sudden request, but he nodded, nonetheless. "Of course," he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of curiosity. "I can remove my armour." He began to undo the buckles and fittings that held his armour in place, sliding the metal plates off one by one, revealing the undershirt beneath.
You re-embraced him and cuddled him closer; you could feel the warmth of him and catch his scent more strongly now as your head snuggled in his chest.
Sesshomaru's heart fluttered as you re-embraced him, your body pressing against his chest as you snuggled closer. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight, warm embrace, his body against yours leaving him feeling strangely vulnerable yet comforted at the same time. "This… feels nice," he murmured, his voice soft against your hair.
As Sesshomaru held you close, he could faintly feel the rapid heartbeat of the unborn child within your stomach. The sensation was unexpected and strange, a reminder of the life that was growing within you. He ran his fingers gently over your abdomen, a mix of protectiveness and wonder stirring within him. "How…. how is it you feel so... pregnant in this dream?" He questioned, his voice low and curious.
You shrugged and smiled at his hand on your belly. "I am not really sure of that myself."
Sesshomaru continued to run his fingers gently over your belly, a mixture of wonder and awe in his gaze as he sensed the tiny heartbeat within. It was as if the dream was bringing their deepest desires and fears to life, allowing you both to witness the reality they longed for without living it. "It's... it's strangely real. The heartbeat..." he murmured, his voice filled with a mix of fascination and surprise.
You put your hand on top of his on your belly. "One day, they will be born. I will do anything for this child, no matter how many years it takes." A tear fell down your cheek.
Sesshomaru wiped the tear from your cheek, your words echoing in his mind, wondering what they meant, his voice low and genuine. "I know you will. You're a formidable woman, _. You have the strength to keep our…the child safe, to do whatever it takes. But…but I don't want you to suffer like this. To be alone, hiding away and fighting this battle on your own."
You pushed your hand firmer onto the baby swelling. "Our baby…our baby needs both of us to grow and change so that its very existence can be a possibility. So that its growth in not tainted by anger and hatred."
Sesshomaru's heart ached as you pushed his hand firmer onto your belly, the work "our" striking a deep chord within him. He could feel the life growing with you, a life that was made from both of their love, their blood and their spirit. For the first time he truly understood the depth of his connection to you, and to the child who would be born into the world though you. "Our baby…" He repeated, his voice filled with wonder and determination.
You looked up at Sesshomaru his eyes met yours. "I really hope there is room for change within both of us. Otherwise, I fear I can never bring the child into existence."
Sesshomaru's heart clenched at your words, the question hitting him at his core. He had spent centuries being cold and distant, living by his own rules and holding onto prejudiced beliefs. But now in this dream world where he felt free to let his guard down, he couldn't deny the truth that had slowly been seeping into his heart. "Change…" he mumbled.
You nodded, Sesshomaru's face showed he was trying to process it. He suddenly pulled you closer to him, his hand went from your belly to your chin. His lips crashed on yours. Your eyes widened, but then closed accepting the kiss, it felt all so real. The kiss became passionate, his tongue making its way into your mouth.
Sesshomaru pulled back his hand then moved to the sides of your face; he kissed your forehead. He couldn't stop himself, you felt so alive to him, and the urges he always held back felt safe enough to explored here. His heart felt swollen, like there was so much he wanted to say to you. His regrets felt heavy on his shoulders.
The sun by this point had started to set in the dream, Sesshomaru's looked at you his eyes filled with something you'd never seen before. His jaw clenched, his eyes darkened, and a tear fell down his face. "It's too late..." He whispered.
As you were about to speak the sun set and you jolted awake. You caught your breath and held your chest. You felt you stomach the baby was gone. You felt around you, checking you were away and not dreaming.
Sesshomaru woke, the sun had risen, he wiped his face feeling the tear he had shed in the dream. He could still smell you, feel you. He bowed his head, "Damnit…she's dead, because of me. I did this. I should have protected her…I could of protect them" His heart ached, he held his chest and he tried to gain his composure. Sesshomaru stood and looked at the sun rise, the thought that you could have died carrying his child. Jaken's voice soon echoed through the tree looking for him. Sesshomaru frowned, his shoulders and chest heavy, his thoughts were filled of your beauty and grace, along with the feel of the baby's heartbeat on his hand. "It was just a dream…she's gone." He whispered to himself. His fists clenched as he flew up to find Jaken.
You held your chest; you were about to tell him its never too late to change. The Sesshomaru in your dream was so open, he cried, and seemed to believe you were dead. You cried a little not knowing how to feel about it all. However, your heart felt lighter, and even though it was a dream, hearing that he loved you and would never hurt you had comforted parts of your heart that were dark.