It wouldn't be much longer. Thor would be heading back to Earth in a few hours. He promised to aid in the clean up process, given the circumstances he felt just as responsible for the destruction. He'd actually made some interesting companions in his time away. Which was unexpected, figuring good things can come out of terrible circumstances. He also wanted to reconnect with a certain someone for a while now. He smiled at the possibility of seeing Jane once more, hoping to make well on his promise. Probably giving up hope of ever seeing him again until witnessing the event unfold alongside everyone else. Wondering if he was even still alive after everything that's happened, with limited coverage near the end and the secrecy of Shield, surely she would remain in the dark.
Everything has changed, now it is the time to converse about which direction to go now. He knew there was no way Loki could've orchestrated this on his own. Holding his reservation about the situation. There were a ton of unanswered questions left that he'd shoved to the back of his mind. Accepting the fact that he may never find the answers. He didn't want to take things at face value. But he had no choice. Loki would rather die than admit true guilt. He wondered if he'd still had a soul.
He clenched his jaw, believing it was better this way, less painful in the end to just avoid the hassle. He swallowed hard, ignoring his heart. A fury flushed through him, dancing on his iris dangerously. He could feel the frustration build within him with nowhere to concentrate it. Like lightning in a bottle ready to break free. He grit his teeth, hastening his pace. After all the trouble he caused it was a good thing. Loki was home. Thor wished it was a gracious return. Having a hard time digesting it all. He didn't want to see his brother locked up but it was for his own good. He just wanted to say goodbye to his mother before he left.
Frigga could recognize the sound of those clad foot steps from a mile away. Thor always was the stoic type, able to digest even this most unpleasant reality. Even so she could always tell when something was affecting him. He could hide it well but she knew him better than he knew himself. He pouted when he was worried and the slight arch of his brow was enough to give him away.
She knew something wasn't right, even after everything was brought to light, there were still pieces missing. All that remained was a fractured truth. Deep down she knew there was more to the story. She didn't want to believe she was swayed by her feelings but she just couldn't bring herself to imagine her son capable of doing something like this. Not without the tools to do so. There was something he was not telling them, concealing some dark secret. She knew her sons better than anyone, she could see it in Loki's eyes when he arrived that he was hiding something. His facade has crumbled and been glued back together too many times.
It'd been too long. She refused to ignore the signs any longer. Even though everyone else had turned a blind eye. She could tell he was troubled. Over the years she never noticed him growing distant. Even if he wasn't blood born she treated him no different. From the first time she held him in her arms she swore to protect him. She loved Loki with every fiber of her being. She'd taught him everything she knew and he'd surpassed all of their expectations on his own. He was truly talented.
They didn't want anyone to find out, never intending for him to feel different. They should've told him. It was their fault for keeping secrets. Odin had his reasons for taking him in. She had her own. The feeling remained mutual between them over the years but a lot has happened in a short time. Things became complicated. However her feelings were grounded and this uneasiness within has grown to the point she could no longer ignore. She bowed her head thinking about it. Thor would be leaving soon and this was something that couldn't wait.
"Could I speak with you for a moment?" Frigga spoke, embracing her son. He half smiled and nodded. Thor stepped in his mothers quarters, there was this heavy atmosphere that seemed to swallow him whole like a great beast. Obviously something was bothering her. He had a pretty good idea what it entailed.
"Something's changed, Loki is not the same." He should've expected he would be the topic of their conversation.
"He's lost his mind, Mother." Thor shook his head, stepping closer to the door, hoping to end the conversation immediately. She would not allow setting a heavy hand against the door sill.
"I fear there is much more to this than what meets the eye." She gingerly touched his shoulder, drawing him in. "Perhaps you could talk to him." She urged.
Thor sighed, "I've tried to get through to him but it's useless." He remembered when he asked him about his intentions. It was the first time he'd seen him in almost a year and they got nowhere. He didn't want to believe it but with everything in consideration he gave him no choice. He didn't want it to play out this way but it's beyond him now. "My hands are tied, his actions are his own and he has to pay the consequences if he's ever to learn."
"I know you don't believe that." Frigga interjected. Thor's face contorted, he knew he should deny that comment still he couldn't lie to his mother. She noticed it too and continued to speak. "That burden he's carrying, it's enough to swallow one whole. That overwhelming fear just radiates from him although he conceals it. You can feel it too, you know your brother better than anyone else."
"I thought I knew him, the person I brought before Father bound in chains spatting nonsense was not my brother." Thor retorted a touch of anger in his voice over the entire situation. He was tired and frustrated, after everything that happened. He wanted to make peace with the whole ordeal and put it behind him. Move on, his Mother on the other hand was relentless. She would not be easy to convince and yet he felt like he was the one who needed convincing.
There was no hiding anything from her. She could tell he was uneasy about the whole situation. There were so many unanswered questions. She held a few of her own and she didn't hesitate to voice them to her son. "What happened down there?" He knew the inquiries would come sooner or later and his mother wasn't one to let anything fester for long. She was a truth seeker and in troubling times she was the only one he could trust, with anything. But for some reason something inside told him to leave it alone. Still he couldn't deny a part of him wondered. He knew better than to press matters out of hand.
He took a long breath, letting out a heavy sigh before speaking in short quick remarks. Not wanting to get into this. "I went down to Midgard. I confronted him. I tried to bring him home, but." Thor paused, taking in a long sigh. He remembered pulling him off of that aircraft, the way Loki so carelessly brushed off his attempts at consoling him in the wilderness. He remembered looking him in the eyes and what he saw wasn't his brother. He wasn't the same person he once knew. Thor poured his heart out to him.
"He's inconsolable." He sighed. Thor's willing to work through anything he was involved with, still all Loki could do was blame him for everything. Even after everything he'd done and put him through, he couldn't just abandon him. He swore no matter what he'd bring him home. Deep down he knew to expect the worst. Part of him felt his hunch was right as much as he wished it wasn't. If he could go back and change the past he would. Go back to the way things were. Simpler times, but alas were not granted the luxury. All he could do was learn from his mistakes and move on.
He proceeded to weave this web of destruction everywhere he went. With no remorse for his actions and the deaths he's caused. He didn't know what happened to his brother in the time he spent amiss, one thing he knew for sure. He purposely led them astray with his endless string of lies. He locked him in a glass prison and sent him plummeting from the sky. There were numerous times he tried to kill him.
The way he shrugged off his attempts in the wilderness, denouncing his home, yet still claimed to be the rightful heir to the throne. It made his blood boil. "He's delusional Mother, and refuses to acknowledge it."
There was anger in that last bit. Still it wasn't like he didn't try. Loki was troubled. The look in his eye when Thor spoke to him generally from the heart was a painted facade. Completely unconcerned for the potential devastation. Willingingly unleashing those beasts on Earth.
"You know there's more to this."
"Maybe there is but he refuses to acknowledge he'd done anything wrong. As far as I'm concerned he's made his decision." he paused for a moment collecting his thoughts before he bit out something half baked out of anger. "You should've seen it. The destruction left in his wake. I can not protect him from his reckless decisions!"
"I understand, there's no denying his actions still I refuse to believe these as truth. I can sense something bothers him. There's more to this than we know. He's confused, angry, and terrified. Concealing it all behind that wall he built. I know you can see it"
"What are you saying?" Thor inquired, mentally kicking himself for dredging on this monotony.
"He's hiding something. Perhaps you could get through to him now. Break down his wall." She knew something was off even before he touched Earth. What he didn't know was she managed to make contact with him nearly a week before, unable to locate where she received his presence as if manually relaying to her. The place was dark and he was not the same person she once knew. She called out to him then and he would not acknowledge her presence. She could tell he was not alone. She knew he did not have the means to do this on his own, knowing full well he would most likely be the patsy for this kind of operation, someone to take the fall.
"Mother," Thor exhaled. "Please!" She let out with desperation in her voice, still she didn't care. She wouldn't ignore her intuition any longer. "Please," She repeated softer, looking her child in the eye. Making sure he could see how sincere she was. She cupped his cheek, pleading with him to take a chance. The look in her eyes was enough to make him putty in her hands. He couldn't tell her no. He let out a deep sigh before breaking eye contact. He fixated on the wall. He narrowed his brow, defeated. He took in a deep breath, nodding in silent agreement. Before leaving to make a final attempt at consoling his brother.
…
An eerie stillness encompassed the room, the faint smell of copper and the ripe grapes drifted throughout the open space. It'd only been ten minutes since Loki lost consciousness. Not that he could tell given he wasn't keen on keeping time. It felt like a long blink coming to. The overwhelming sound of his pitiful lungs struggling to take in a decent breath forced him awake. His eyes were half slited and slowly his senses returned. He was graced with a ripe pain at his side. He opened his eyes wide, allowing the light in although not his intention. He instantly regretted the subtle gesture, stinging his overly sensitive eyes and antagonizing his splitting headache.
He was temporarily stunned, momentarily forgetting where he was. He gritted his teeth as his remaining senses surfaced, unable to ignore this looming feeling. He realized his hand was still curled around the shard embedded in his flesh without the strength or willpower to move it. He remained slumped up against the white wall, broken furniture laying among him, a fitting parallel of his current state. Although his body was stiff it felt like he was crumbling to pieces.
He lifted his head, as another searing memory sent a jolt throughout his body, the fresh sting at his side bringing him back to reality. He knew the memories of his time spent in captivity would come flooding back, each blink revealing another vivid image of that place. Somehow they managed to lock away the trauma, catching glimpses of a bright light hanging over head, his body strapped down and stilled. Shadows looming over him with sharp tools in hand, prodding his brain. He furrowed his brow, daring to think back.
The more aware he became the worse the guilt, he wasn't able to resist, downward spiraling. He'd long forgotten who he was. Unable to accept he'd become their vessel. No excuse wouldn't undo the harm he'd caused. He knew he deserved this. Gripping the glass tightly, debating whether to relinquish it or not. Surprised he'd lasted this long. Even after everything he's been through there was no getting used to the pain. He was grinding his teeth in a pale effort at stifling the feeling, absentmindedly thumbing at the smooth surface of the glass slick with blood. It wouldn't take much to finish it, several inches either way. He clenched his jaw, his dark sullen eyes settled on the sight. His hands were surprisingly steady, almost eager. The slight ringing in his ear reminded him he was in shock, still he didn't seem to mind, accustomed to the feeling. Although it seemed he was afraid to finish what he started.
"Loki!" His ears perked at the sound of his name. "We need to talk." The words echoed down the hall. He recognized his brother's voice. Loki's eyes widened as his heart started to race. Even after everything, he didn't want Thor to see him this way. Determined to keep up this front. Why couldn't he just leave already, accept that he was beyond reason. Like he believed himself to be. The lies he'd spun himself into he started to believe in. Out of desperation he manifested a projection of the room prior to his rampage, complete with a perfect version of himself.
Within moments his counterpart appeared. "What is it you want Thor; gladdened to see me caged?" Loki spoke quietly but with a tone that resonated. Even though he was short of breath it made him seem like he was eager. Although he was mistaken. "I never wanted this." Thor was genuine and his tone was actually softer than he was accustomed too but lately he was getting to use it. He was so confused, desperately craving answers for almost a year. He just wanted to understand.
"I find that hard to believe." The astrill copy related Loki's words as Thor seemed to see through him. He was always hard to fool when he was serious. Why couldn't he just abandon him like he did a year ago. Forget he'd ever surfaced, ridded himself of his presence. Everyone else had, it would've been much easier. Why must he torture him with this back and forth, it's exhausting. "Why are you like this, why couldn't you just talk to me?" Thor was pleading, some Loki was unaccustomed to. Used to the over barding, pig headed overly cocky bloat ready to throw down at a moment's notice. He'd almost forgotten this side of him existed, stowing it away until now. Not like anything would change.
"You'd never listen." Loki uttered weakly from his position on the floor, the projected copy of himself relaying that false image perfectly. While a somber feeling nagged at his subconscious. A charade; he was so broken he was sure the pieces would never fit back together again. A lost cause long since thrown into the wind. He hung his head ready to give into his fate, knowing the other would never allow such a thing to happen, even now. Even if they were enemies and Loki'd done the unspeakable.
"You never gave me a chance." Thor urged, stepping closer to the forcefield, noticing something off about it. Loki was quiet, his copy eyeing the other intently. Thor furrowed his brow. Loki set a heavy hand against his temple, stifling his fatigued breaths, it was breaking his concentration and he's unable to hold the projection for much longer. It flickers and Thor is well aware of his ability. He had a feeling he was stalling, catching a glimpse of the room. Unaware that he was too weak to maintain the projection for much longer. "Loki, enough tricks."
He knew him better than that. He could only keep him in the dark so long. It didn't matter either way he knew he was too far gone. Loki bowed his head, letting out timid puffs of air. It was a combination of unconcern and fatigue that made him drop the hologram. His sighed, a wave of green light skimmed the area, revealing its true appearance. The room was a wreck. Broken furniture and pages torn from books, scattered across the floor. Thor skimmed the debris littering the cell. There wasn't much left undamaged. The strangest thing he noticed was the bloodied dent made in the wall. It was atypical of Loki to be physically violent. He wasn't the type to break things in a fit of rage.
It wasn't long until Thor's attention fell on the figure slumped at the base of the wall. Even though Loki was partially hidden behind an overturned table he just had a feeling something was up. He could see no more than a head full of disheveled black locks and piercing green eyes glaring back at him.
"What's the meaning of this?" Thor said, walking along the edge to get a better view. That's when he saw the floor saturated in dark red and his heart plummeted. He couldn't believe it.
His eyes still locked on with his own. He blinked and within moments Thor was at his side. Now that he was this close he could see the true magnitude of the confined space and it was startling, had he been any later. He shook off the thought. He needed to know where the blood was coming from. "Let me take a look." Thor said, referring to the blood pooling on the left side of his brother. His gestures slow and careful as he absent mindedly inching closer.
"Worry not for a criminal," Loki murmured, pitifully backing away from the Asgardian hovering over him, the pain playing on his pale face. "Leave me."
Thor furrowed his brows pushing closer. "I'm not going stand aside while you kill yourself," Thor pressed and although Loki was reluction to accept help he would receive it. Thor was tired of turning a blind eye to him. If he'd been a better brother from the beginning this would have never happened. He just wants to help him, even if he wouldn't accept it.
"There's no point, I'm as good as dead." Loki bit back. Intriguing the other. "What do you mean?" Thor inquired
Loki was walking on eggshells, he couldn't tell him about that place. "Don't be foolish. After all the trouble I've caused." His eyes were bloodshot and teary from the strain, summoning the courage to look the other in the eye. "It's better this way." Loki uttered weakly, with no force behind his words. It was an empty request. After spending so much time alone, enduring all of the pain. He was accustomed to that burning feeling at his side, normalizing that pounding in his skull.
"How many times do I have to remind you? You're my brother. I wish these were better times but we're not as fortunate. Ever since the mess on Midgard, other worlds are falling out of place and it seems anarchy is a possibility." Loki's eyes fixated on the Asgardians boots and he remained silent. "It's a big world out there and as much as I would like to be the sole protector of the universe, it's just not possible. If at all I'm at least capable of aiding whoever I can. Even after all of that I'm going to do everything in my power to fix whatever I can in my small world. So quit being stubborn and let me take a look."
Loki narrowed his thin brows, never drawing his gaze away from Thor boots. He felt ashamed as if he didn't deserve to look into his eyes anymore. He feared that whatever light of hope remained had been snuffed out on Earth, replaced with something else. It's not that he didn't hear him back then, he just couldn't say what he wanted, only what he was relaying. His mind was so clouded, so full of hatred.
Those fabricated images of altered memories were busting at the seams and everything he'd been repressing over the past few weeks in preparation of his mission was coming undone. Still it's not like Thor would believe him if he told the truth. After everything a trader with a corrupted mind was no excuse. Even he was having a hard time deciphering facts from fiction. He never asked to be in this kind of situation. He'd been fighting a battle against himself and to him it was something he alone should deal with.
This was no different, pity was never an option during childhood. He considered it a weakness, and as a warrior you were not allowed to show any remorse or feebleness on the battlefield. Truth was, he was tired. Far too tired to think about such ridiculous things such as pride. There was nothing shameful about asking for help. His head pounded profusely to the point his hearing nullified and his body ached from his joints to his core. He'd been carrying this damage for so long he couldn't think straight anymore. He hasn't been able to in a while. He was sure Thor was talking to him but he was so out of it he couldn't hear a thing. Either way he didn't care anymore.
There was a pressure building in his skull as much as he tried to ignore it, he really did it this time. He took half breaths, his body naturally trying to calm itself although doing terribly at it. His heart was thudding off in his chest; it felt like it was about to explode.
Thor noticed Loki's flesh was turning more like a washed out blue underneath the red. His body numbed and felt cold. Thor moved closer but Loki did not move an inch. He wasn't able to, his vision clouded as the once stationary boot disappeared and colors blurred together as he was scooped up into a pair of oversized arms. Everything became silent. Next thing he knew he was staring up at the bright white ceiling as the oversized lug carried him out of the cell, no strength left to protest.
He was sure he was saying something, subtle curses under his breath, the occasional "It's gonna be alright," right. 'What was going on again? Oh yea, bleeding out I remember.' His eyes slid shut, near comatose in his brother's arms. Not one of his better days. White noise pinged and rang in his ear canal. His breathing labored and wheezed from lungs that have never healed properly from the poor air quality he'd grown accustomed to from a year in captivity.
Thor scoops him up and rushes to Frigga. He passed the guard captain on the way out. Meeting his wandering glance with piercing eyes. He didn't dare stop him, he simply nodded as they passed him by, a subtle grin playing on his lips.