Chapter 6 - Sith Knight of the Jedi

Author's Note: I should probably have said in the last chapter that this chapter starts with a several year time skip. I would have loved to include more of Anakin growing up but I didn't really have any ideas and I need to get on to some important plot points that happen later on... 😈 But if anyone has any ideas of something they were hoping to see from when Anakin was still younger, I might not be opposed to doing a one-shot about it at the end of the fic. :)

~ Tirana Sorki

The darkness feels like it's closing in on him. Anakin's been captured before but he's never been held prisoner in a situation that feels quite so hopeless before. He's suspended in an energy field in the center of a dark room and he can't move.

Can't anything.

It's even worse than being chained.

And he doesn't have time for this. He was trying to rescue Obi-Wan from the Geonosians. So much for that.

Anakin's still lost in his thoughts when he suddenly senses it. It's an unearthly cold sensation, creeping up on him from the hall, drawing closer the same time he feels someone coming. It's the Dark Side.

It's –

Force.

What?

There's a Dark Sider here? But no, it's not just a Dark Sider. The darkness is too concentrated for that. It's too cold for that.

It's a Sith.

It's not Sidious. He senses that right off but it's still a Sith and why in the name of the Force is there a Sith on Geonosis?

It's been four years since Anakin left the Sith to become what he is now. It's hard to believe it's been so long but it also feels like a different lifetime where he was still a Sith apprentice, for how much things have changed since then. Both personally and on a galactic scale.

The Jedi might not be Anakin's Order or family and they never will be, but they've given him a home for the last four years. He's nineteen now and... He's still a Sith in his own right but not in the way his master taught him. He experiments with the Force, some mix of both the Dark Side and the Light.

Obi-Wan's taught him a lot about what it means to be a Jedi, even if Anakin can never truly be one of them. The Jedi agreed to let him go on missions and he could never be Obi-Wan's apprentice, but it was a near thing. Especially because even after ten years of being a Knight, Obi-Wan hasn't taken any other padawan. They're close now, closer than he thought he ever could be with... any adult since Mom, honestly. Even if there are still moments where there's... problems. But that's normal even if it's never pleasant.

It wasn't until a long time later that they finally gave him a lightsaber. It's not his but the crystal rebounded to him. There are moments the humming blue crystal feels more like his than the red one he used to have.

This is the life he's grown accustomed to. The Council still watches him closely. They... don't like it when he gets out of line even if they give him a certain amount of leeway because he's not one of them. He doesn't know if they still consider him their prisoner or not. It still feels like it. He still doesn't feel free. He still has orders to follow.

But at least he has a family again. He has Obi-Wan and... Ahsoka, even if he hasn't seen her much in a long time, no matter how much he still misses her. Maybe he'll never stop missing Maul and Mom but at least he has the two of them, even if it's lonely sometimes.

It's never the kind of life he imagined he could have when Sidious took him so many years ago but he's gotten accustomed to it. Maybe too comfortable with it because he stopped ceaselessly fearing every single day that something was going to destroy this life entirely once nothing happened for so long. He shouldn't have let his guard down.

The door to the room slides open and for a moment he's expecting to see Sidious' hooded figure standing there but it's... Count Dooku?

He's a Sith?!

But he did betray the Jedi. It shouldn't be so surprising.

"I'm here to present you with an offer... Skywalker. I know who you are." Dooku paces towards him.

Anakin's heart nearly stops at the words. There's only one thing Dooku could mean by that. He means that on a much deeper level than just his name. He knows who he was. He knows Sidious. He's Sidious' new apprentice, isn't he? His replacement? "I'm not interested in anything you have to offer me, Dooku."

"But I think you will be. You're a Sith."

"Not like you. Not anymore."

Dooku's eyes narrow a little. He looks the perfect picture of calm but there's something dangerous there that has Anakin instantly on edge. "But you aren't a Jedi. I can still sense the Dark Side in you. The Jedi can't be approving of that. You aren't one of them. You never have been. You never will be. They'll always see you as a potential danger, no matter what you do for them. You must have seen the corruption and complacency among the Jedi Order and the corruption in the Senate. Do you truly want a part with it?"

The words shouldn't cut so sharply to his core but they do.

The doubts haunt him sometimes, no matter how much he's tried to bury them. He's just tried of never truly belonging anywhere. He knows he's different so of course he doesn't belong with the Jedi, but – but. It's not like any of what Dooku said is wrong even if he's gotten used to his place now. "You're just doing your master's bidding," Anakin retaliates.

"I'm not making you the offer on behalf of... Sidious."

He tries not to outright finch at the name, spoken by someone who is now his apprentice. It's a sharp reminder that Sidious is still out there and there's no way he's not looking for him.

Unless, his mind has to whisper, you were so unimportant to him that he no longer cares where you are. That should be relieving. For some reason, it just stings.

"I'm offering this to you of my own. Sidious would not need to learn of our alliance."

"There can only be two Sith," Anakin snaps back, eyes narrowed. Even if Sidious broke that rule long ago when he had both him and Maul.

"Yes, indeed," Dooku muses and there's a look in his eyes that Anakin immediately understands. He's planning to kill Sidious, isn't he?

"And you would, what? Want me as your apprentice?"

"Perhaps, if you wish. I could use your skills."

How does he know of what Anakin's been doing? How closely has Sidious watched him, all these years?

"And if I joined you, what would become of Obi-Wan?"

"He refused my offer and the Geonosians are demanding blood as compensation for the invasion of their planet. I'm afraid there's nothing more I can do for him."

Anakin's eyes narrow. "Then no. I'm not joining you." And that's final.

**w**

Geonosis went far worse than Anakin imagined it would. The sounds of ceaseless blaster fire and the cries of those going down are still ringing in his ears even now that he's in a shuttle on the way back to Coruscant.

His entire body is also aching. Electric burns tend to do that.

Anakin's curled up next to Obi-Wan now, resting his head on his knee. He's grown a lot in his wolf form from how big he was when the Jedi first found him – somewhere over four feet tall when standing now but it's not like he's ever too big to snuggle. Obi-Wan's hand lightly trails across his head and he wages his tail, snuggling closer. With everything that just happened, he wants to be held right now. And Obi-Wan holds him without much hesitation when he's a wolf. He's a lot more reserved about it when he's in his human form.

His mind is still whirling, though. He can't get Dooku's words out of his head. Can't stop thinking about Sidious and how he's out there and so is his new apprentice. Can't stop thinking about how the galaxy is about to descend into full-scale war. And so many Jedi were just lost on Geonosis.

"How are you feeling?" Obi-Wan queries, breaking Anakin out of his thoughts.

Anakin looks up at him, licking his hand – It's enough of a communication.

"I don't believe you're alright. You got electrocuted."

He barks.

I've had worse.

"That's not at all reassuring. Next time don't jump a Sith with your teeth and claws."

He whines. But it worked.

"He nearly electrocuted you to death."

Anakin practically rolls his eyes, even as a wolf.

Stop blowing it out of proportion. Even Sidious has done worse to me.

Obi-Wan stiffens up a bit the way he always does when that comes up. "I don't see how that makes it better."

It doesn't. He doesn't want to think about Sidious right now but he can't stop. It feels like... he knows his master's plans are coming to fruition and he's terrified of where that's going to lead. For everyone. But maybe most of all, he's afraid that it's going to lead him back to him.

**w**

A couple weeks later and the Temple is still in uproar. The war truly has begun in earnest now and more and more Jedi are being sent off to the field as generals. No one's mentioned giving Anakin any position yet, but he expects it's coming. He's always been observed on missions even now but... he's pretty sure that's going to have to change.

He's moving through the halls when he suddenly senses something – there's an occasional twitch in the Force, a space that the Force doesn't flow through but now he's sensing something larger... like an entire blank spot in the Force and it's weird.

He uses both the Light and Dark at random intervals now – doesn't really know what he is but maybe he doesn't need a label – as he reaches out, this time with the Light, trying to track down the source of the disturbance. He doesn't have to look far.

Mill's sitting in the corner in the hall, mostly concealed in the shadows, and it only takes him a moment to realize that she's... blocking herself off from the Force?

That's... weird. He's never seen her do that before.

He hasn't seen her in months now but they're still as much of friends as they can be when he's ten years her elder. "Mill?" Anakin queries, crouching in front of her, "Are you well?"

She looks up at him, slightly startled. "It's – I – no."

"What's troubling you?"

She leans forwards, glancing around nervously. "I haven't told anyone. I don't want anyone to get mad but... I don't know if I belong in the Jedi Order."

Anakin starts a bit at the words.

She – what?

He's not a Jedi but he certainly understands the don't belong here feeling. He's felt it his entire life. He's never been anywhere he belonged, except back on Tatooine. "Tell me more," he requests.

Her hands clench and she looks away. "I know the Order can do good. I know the Jedi are guardians of peace. But... the war, the fighting, the violence. I feel all of that through the Force. I can't explain it but it's too much."

"Because of the emotions you sense from everyone?" he asks. Considering her gift, it's not surprising it's starting to overwhelm her. Anakin is so used to violence himself, even if he feels every bit of deeply in the Force in the way no other Force user can and tries to... minimize it when it's possible. The Jedi have surprisingly encouraged that. They don't like it when he's overly aggressive.

They're afraid of his power. Which he can very grudgingly understand, even if it hurts.

She nods. "I was supposed to do to the Gathering but I couldn't make it. The bombing at Cato Neimoida – that's all anyone would talk about. I just couldn't think about lightsabers and crystals. I don't even want my lightsaber. I just want to help others. I don't... I don't know if I want to the feel the Force."

He understands what she's saying. He can also feel her internal shame for having these questions which definitely isn't helping. She probably only told him in the first place because he isn't a Jedi.

Anakin reaches out, taking Mill's small hand in his. "I'm not a Jedi but I can understand a little of how you're feeling. I don't fit here and I never fit as a Sith either. I wanted to help, not to fight. Not to hurt people." Even if he understands that it's necessary sometimes. Doesn't mean he likes it. "Controlling your link to the Force comes with practice. It's part of the journey. I think your... questions are natural. My mother used to tell me 'always believe in the strength of your heart'. What you believe in your heart is your path. And if you do that, you'll find your way even if it's not the way others expected of you."

Saying it out loud makes it sound easier than it is but it's what his mother said that's really helped guide him to finding who he is now. Even if he's not fully sure himself still. But he wants to help and for now he'll follow the Force.

"Don't try to run away from the Force," he tells her, because that's the first thing she needs to understand, "Reach into it. Control it. Breaking the chains of what holds you back is the easy part. What goes on in your mind is what's hard."

Mill blinks. "Isn't that from the Sith Code?"

Anakin winces. He didn't quite mean for it to slip out, but it still did. "Yes, but I think it still applies to the... situation. Your heart can take you where you want to go. You just have to believe in it and the Force. Maybe you won't end up where you thought you would but you will end up where you were meant to be."

She nods, smiling faintly up at him. "Thank you. That's... a lot. I'll think about it."

"You can talk to me whenever you want," he promises. Hopefully what he told her was enough to help something. He doesn't believe the Jedi are all right and he never will. He's seen how much they fail, how much they blindly serve the Senate and he knows it's failing the people. But he also knows that they try, that they aren't all bad like Sidious taught him. So... he certainly believes that Mill will find her place, wherever it may be.

**w**

When Anakin heard the Republic had an army, he never dreamed that it was a slave army. Especially not an army of literal child soldiers who were created by the Jedi, no less.

Maybe the Jedi who did it wasn't under authority of the Council but a Jedi still did it. He doesn't know how to feel about that. He thought they were better than the Sith. Maybe they are as a whole but not completely. Not if they're willing to go to lengths like this.

"What's your name?" Anakin asks his new clone captain right off.

The Jedi made him a general, even if he's still working directly under Obi-Wan.

The clone is dressed in white armor with blue marks on it, marking him as part of the 501st battalion. He hesitates at the question, still standing rigidly. "It's... Rex, sir."

"I'll do my best to lead," Anakin promises, "I don't want any more of your brothers to be hurt than have to be." He wishes none of them had to be, but he knows be needs to be realistic. This is war.

He's a general now. The full implications don't sink in until he's standing on board the cruiser. This won't be anything like what he's done before. The halls are lifeless and impersonal, identity-less like the clones are being forced to be. It feels like an emphasis of how they're the Jedi's – technically Republic's but still – slaves.

"It's our duty to lay down our lives for the Republic," Rex replies.

"It shouldn't have to be, not if that isn't what you want."

"This is what we were made for," he objects. He seems a little confused at the mere notion that something else might be true.

"You're... a person, Rex. All of your brothers are. You're individuals. And you weren't given a choice to fight for the Republic. That should be a choice you get to make."

"I don't understand sir," Rex says uncertainly.

Repeating it won't drive it home. He'll need time to process. All of the clones will. Being slaves is the only life they've ever known. "You're no less important than the people you're protecting," Anakin replies and decides to leave it at that, "I... don't have much experience with leading or being a General. I may be higher ranking than you but you're the one with the experience that I would like to learn from." There are lives at stake and it's not a responsibility Anakin will take lightly in the slightest. Everything he does isn't only going to affect the mission. It'll affect all the people he's now in charge of. It's kind of terrifying, if he's being honest.

The captain seems a little taken aback at the offer. "I'll help in whatever way I can, sir," he says finally.

**w**

Rex knew his brothers would die all around him the moment they went out to the field but the true reality of it didn't fully sink in until right now. It's for the Republic and that's what's important but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to see how many are dying, gone forever. At least most of them aren't ones he really know well yet. He can't hang on to any of them, he knows that.

But then something blows up right in front of him. The explosion is blinding, even through his helmet's visor. He can't dodge fast enough. Pain explodes in his arm and somewhere in his stomach and he goes down gasping.

It's burning and the pain is overwhelming but he can't go down like this even if he knows he's dying. He forces himself up onto his elbow with a muffled groan, shifting position enough to keep shooting at the droids, taking out another dozen of them – and saving the lives of a few more of his brothers – before one of the droids spots him, and shoots him through the shoulder.

A strangled scream escapes as he drops his blaster, hitting the rocky surface on his back. Both his arms are out of order and he can't keep fighting. It feels like he's starting to black out. He can't keep moving. Not this time. It's the reality of war. He knew he could die. Just didn't expect it to happen so soon, before he's really done anything.

"Rex!" the voice drifts in from far away.

His mind is too hazy to register it until General Skywalker appears at his side, expression tight. "Rex?"

"Sir?" he coughs, confused.

Why's he even here, why's he – He's supposed to be fighting.

"We need to get you to a medic immediately," he says, hand resting on Rex's non-injured shoulder.

"Don't have much left in me, sir. I'll just slow you all down," he rasps. He doesn't want to die even if he can't say he's exactly scared of it – but... what matters most is the mission and he's not useful for it anymore.

"That doesn't matter. You deserve to live, Rex. I'm not leaving any of you behind," Anakin replies firmly. "You're not just a number. You're a person."

Back to – to that again. Still doesn't make any sense to him. Why is the General wasting his time on the mission for Rex?

Anakin picks him up carefully, carrying him to a place with more cover where one of the clone medics is treating several of the other injured ones.

The General's turning to go when there's another blaster shot, right next to them. It burns into the rocky ground beside them and the General spins around to see a group of droids just found this position too. Something in his eyes looks positively feral and Rex is almost certain there's a trace of yellow but then the General just – starts twisting and contorting and what in the name of the Republic is happening to him and before Rex knows it there's a four-foot-tall wolf with shaggy blonde colored fur standing outside the tent. Its teeth look razor sharp as do it's very long claws and then pounces the droids, ripping its way through when it's teeth, moving at a speed even faster than he was as human.

What - ?!

He's hallucinating. He's definitely hallucinating. Maybe he's hallucinating the General coming back for him in the first place. He's probably already dead...

**w**

Except, when Rex wakes up again sometime later, he feels... much better. And he's definitely not dead. His injuries are treated and he must be under pain meditation because nothing's hurting, even though both his arms are bandaged.

There's shuffling in the doorway of the tent and the General appears suddenly.

The general who looks like a perfectly normal human so Rex has no idea what he was seeing. Definitely just imagining things. He can't stop staring at him though even if that's probably against protocol as being disrespectful or something.

"How are you feeling?" the General asks, approaching and crouching at his side. His face is so full of concern. He cares and Rex doesn't understand why.

"Better," Rex says, blinking. He can't stop staring at him, expecting to see some evidence of a tail and fury ears.

"See? You weren't too close to death."

He's still bewildered by the whole thing but... his general is nothing like their trainers or even the other Jedi he's seen so far. "Thank you, sir," he supplies.

"Is something wrong?" the General asks, catching his eyes.

Rex hastily averts his gaze, feeling instantly embarrassed. "I was just – hallucinating before. It's nothing, sir."

For some reason he looks momentarily amused. "Hallucinating? What did you think you saw?"

"You... turned into a wolf?" It sounds so stupid to have to say out loud. Why'd he even mention it?

He still looks amused. His smile is always contagious somehow. "You were not hallucinating anything, Rex. I... am not fully human."

What?

"What do you mean, sir?"

"I have a wolf form," the General explains.

"A wolf, sir?" he echoes. He's so confused. Since when was there a species like that?

"Yes," Anakin agrees, "I can show you again. Just... be prepared."

Rex eyes him warily, only half certain this isn't a prank. With the way his General always smiles, it's hard to tell. He's never seen anyone be that cheerful. It's weird. "If you want to, sir."

"You should probably get used to it," Anakin replies, patting his shoulder. He steps back and then Rex sees him start shifting and transforming again, until sure enough a four-foot-tall wolf is standing there.

It trots up to Rex, nudging his shoulder.

What the –

What's he supposed to do now?

It looks very pettable, but this is his General and he can't – pet him? Right? That would be very against protocols.

The wolf nuzzles against his hand when he doesn't move, something amused dancing in its yellow eyes.

And then it sits down next to him, wagging its fluffy, fury tail. This – is the strangest thing that's happened in his life and he's admittedly a little freaked out by the whole thing but he hesitantly touches it's nose.

And way inside, he doesn't think his General would mind being petted considering how unusual he is. He doesn't care about protocols. The wolf nuzzles closer, looking at him almost hopefully. Rex very hesitantly touches its snout gently, only half sure it's not about to bite but it doesn't. It just wags its tail in what seems to be further encouragement.

He pets it for about an all of ten seconds before pulling back because this is getting too weird.

Anakin steps away from him when he seems to realize that, shifting back into a person. Seriously, that process looks agonizing and very disconcerting.

"The best thing about being a wolf is getting petted," Anakin tells him dryly, as though reading all of Rex's subconscious freaked-outness. It's so unsettling when Jedi do that.

The General comes to sit next to him again, and Rex is only half sure why he's bothering with him instead of just going to do something actually important.

"You're nothing like the other Jedi, sir," he speaks up, finally.

Anakin's face is always so open, it's weird. Rex can read his brothers because they all have the same face but they're not that open about how they're feeling. So Rex doesn't miss the way his expression shadows a little, the levity fading. He's not upset, just... more serious. "I'm not a Jedi, Rex. I... stay with the Order, but I'm not one of them."

Wait – "You're not?" he asks, confused. But he thought...?

"The Jedi didn't want word of this getting out but if you don't tell anyone I can explain it."

"Not a problem, sir," Rex promises instantly because he's dying of curiosity even though he has no idea what he's dying of curiosity to hear.

"I'm a Sith," Anakin tells him quietly.

"...A what, sir?"

"They used the same Force abilities as Jedi but they are technically enemies. Dooku is a Sith. I –fled the Sith when I was a child. The Jedi captured me but they... one of them raised me as one of their own." There's something momentarily fond in his eyes, as though he's thinking about a distant memory.

Rex's mind is just whirling.

These Sith are they're enemies? And his General was one of them? He has no idea how to feel about that but apparently it's... true.

And what confuses him even more is how... open he is. How kind. He's never met another natborn who's this nice and this one was apparently raised to be their enemy? It's weird. But maybe that's why he's different from the Jedi, even if Rex doesn't really understand it.

Either way, Rex has to say he's... glad they have him as their general.

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