Mai hung suspended in the deep, dingy darkness for what felt like a thousand years. Many thoughts, some unfamiliar, most cruel, cold, and clinging, shifted about in her mind. It always felt like a thousand years passed each time she was trapped down here, beneath the Fire Nation palace, her palace. A faint amusement mingled with the emptiness. She was the Fire Lady, this fortress was just as much hers, wasn't it? Even without Azula, Zuko surely would've offered her the throne as well. Not that it'd ever been about that for Mai.

Azula dragged her out of that emptiness. In the past, with her cruelty, her confidence, her shared disrespect for the state of the world. With her bright, burning eyes and distant smirk, she'd always been alluring. Azula liked to be challenged, and Mai loved to challenge all authority- but she'd never had someone who drew it out of her like the princess. Zuko used to fuss, wondering why Mai was willing to debate politics with Azula, but never him. Because Azula made her insides catch on fire - with rage, with inspiration, with- that was just the type of girl Azula was, and always had been, but her effect on Mai was not one Mai could ever forgive herself for.

Now there was only the gray dungeon, the rats, the steps of guards shifting on patrol, some nice enough to rap their spears against the side of her cage. They did it because they thought it scared her, but it just reminded her she was still alive. She was barely aware of the cold stone surface against her knees, the icy metal around her wrists. Mai was alone, truly alone. Thinking about it, she had been for a long time. Even with other people around, hundreds, thousands: alone. Always. "Fire Lady Mai" was a mere illusion, a performance… a ghost. The girl she'd been before was just as much a lie. Her entire life was a series of vacant masks, quiet comments, insides always inside. Even with Zuko, she'd never fully shed her constant mask.

Only Azula did that to her, only Azula stripped away everything and tore her careful control apart. For a long time, she truly had wanted Azula to take on the whole world. She believed the prodigal firebender princess could tear apart all who stood before her, and climb out on top. Mai hadn't just believed, Mai had wanted her to do it, and the woman had. It was Mai that changed her mind.

That was what she realized after her wife put her on display once again. The first time Azula put her through such an ordeal was the day after Zuko's death. It had been a cruel, animal act - so filthy, so brutal, even Mai's body couldn't possibly enjoy it. The citizens of the Fire Nation had looked on as the new empress was claimed by their Fire Lord with empty eyes, it was a solemn ceremony, half a punishment, half a wedding. A night Mai had forced herself to not remember, but echoes came back whenever Azula insisted on letting others see.

This most recent public display of their twisted affection had been far different. So brief, yet so much worse. Because of Her. In the darkness, there was only one glimpse of goodness left. Ty Lee, sweet Ty Lee. Seeing that beautiful girl she loved so much, even if it wasn't the real her, excited and admiring Mai's desecration, had been too much to take. When she came, shuddering, with those big, honest dark-gray pools burrowed into her, Azula's sinful purr at her ear, something clicked, something finally snapped into place.

In that tepid darkness that held her, he finally came. He looked just like he had before he died, no, younger even - he looked the way he did the day she realized she was in love with him. Her vision was blurry, consciousness elusive, but she knew who it was that stood before her.

"Look what she did to you," Zuko whispered, his hand touching her face tenderly. He stroked her cheek, her lips. His amber eyes gleamed, scarred face so beautiful, like a glimpse of sunlight after a century without it. Mai smiled wryly.

"Took you long enough. Am I dying? Are you taking me away?"

Zuko found the questions amusing, for he smiled. But he didn't say anything for a long time. The dark-haired man inhaled deeply and turned away from her. "No. Of course not."

Silence hovered between them, she didn't know what to say, all her guilty thoughts came rushing out like bile and of course, he knew. He winced, and she swore tears glistened on the sharp planes of his fair face as his short dark hair fell across his eyes.

"You feel good when you're with her. You're tainted now. I'll never have you again. I've accepted that."

Mai jerked violently, gasping, her worn, pretty face open and full of all the love she had for this man who couldn't be here. "What? No." Her voice was hoarse. "Zuko, I love you! I've always- it's always been you."

"You stood by her side far longer than mine. You did so for a reason." Zuko refused to look at her. Mai's eyes grew teary. He couldn't possibly believe that. Her beautiful prince was so forlorn, his spirit distant. Yet, bound by chains, she could not reach out to him. "Do you believe in fate, Mai?"

"Zuko, please! I-it's not like I want her. She's changed my body, but not me, never what we have. Don't you understand? You have to understand."

His smile was frigid when he turned to her, very far away. "For what it's worth it doesn't matter. It was always her. Even if you don't realize that."

So many words like knives. Mai accepted them all willingly. It felt good hearing him accuse her, hearing his jealousy. He was right. She was the one who had stood by Azula's side, longer even than Ty Lee. She'd lit the flame beneath the darkness of Azula's heart. She'd fed the monster, day after day, with ceaseless support, and admiration. There was a shadow beneath everything, shadows Zuko now saw clearly.

"Who did you share your first kiss with?" The Fire Nation Prince asked. Zuko was calm now, his shoulders slouched as he waited for the answer he already knew. The pallid man who should not have been there came closer and rested his hand on her. His skin was as cold as a corpse, his sunken, amber eyes gleaming with an odd, empty affection.

Mai flinched, wondering when he'd finally just leave her alone. She'd wanted her fallen lover to appear like in those old stories, but now that Zuko was before her, she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

But she answered anyway. "You."

"No. No, not that kind. That was an innocent, child's kiss." Zuko smiled, and laughed quietly, "Brighter hours. Tell me about the darker hours."

The darker hours? The day she'd had her first kiss with Zuko was one of her most precious memories. Back when it was the four of them at the Fire Nation Academy. He'd pulled her aside, somewhere private, somewhere special. His lips had been rough, and chapped, and his arms weren't muscular and strong, but they were warm. His lips, his embrace, were so tender. She'd walked away in a daze after that, only to discover that Azula had been watching the whole thing secretly. The girl told Mai to meet her somewhere they could be alone, and she eagerly obeyed. Azula had been unable to meet her eyes at first, but she had a lot to say on the matter.

"Hmph. So, sneaking off with my lame brother, huh? What was that supposed to be, a first kiss? He would be so pathetic." The young princess sneered, "He has one of the most beautiful girls in the world right in his grasp and kisses her like THAT? He doesn't deserve you. That's not a real kiss, everyone knows that, except him, I guess."

Mai, flushed, still in a dreamy state from her moment alone with her crush, wet her lips. "I thought it was cute." Then, Azula's words trickled in. Sometimes, in her vehemence, Azula's true thoughts showed.

Did she really think of Mai that way?

"It's not supposed to be cute." Azula sidled up next to her.

Mai shivered when the princess slid a pale, already lean limb around her, stroking the length of her arm.

"I'll kiss you like you deserve if he won't. If you want it." She said it boldly, loudly - and that was how Mai knew Azula was nervous, and more than that, when the dark-haired girl turned to stare at her princess, Azula's expression was dark with jealousy.

The memory was like torture. Mai had long forgotten those days.

"What did you do next?" Zuko asked softly.

"...I kissed her."

And that kiss had ruined everything. Azula resisted it at first when Mai suddenly pressed their mouths together. Then she melted. Azula's fingers burrowed into her bunned hair, one arm around her waist. The princess made the most delicious sounds, eyes wide, shocked she hadn't been the one to make the first move, but unable to shift the dynamic, put her lesser back in her place.

Mai had felt powerful, so powerful, knowing she could force Princess Azula to make adorable sounds like this with just her mouth and hands. It wasn't innocent like with Zuko. They used their tongues and explored each other's bodies over the clothes. For the first time, Mai had indulged in that excitement that burns in your belly. They tasted each other for such a long time, to the point their knees weakened. Mai and Azula slouched to the ground, Mai on top, Mai reveling in the thought that she was stealing a kiss from the cruel girl who thought HER of all people one of the most beautiful girls in the world.

She'd never felt so desired, hearing Azula's whimpers. They couldn't have been in that small, private room longer than half an hour, but neither was quite the same afterward. They forgot about it, both of them did, but it had confused her emotions about Azula, about Zuko, for years afterward, because Azula kissed her like they were the only two left in the world. Azula had a crush on Ty Lee, everyone could see it, and yet she was sneaking off with Mai away from both of them.

She wanted to kiss Mai; Azula wanted Mai. Azula…!

"You have another choice to make."

"A choice? What choice? I have nothing! I'm nothing but the Fire Lord's hole these days! No more choices for me, if I ever had any choices at all!" Ancestors, she didn't realize she was so angry. "Why'd you have to lose your Agni Kai? Why'd you abandon me? Abandon us?" Mai snapped, voice venomous.

"I've accepted my death, but you've not accepted your life. You'd rather empty yourself, and let the world rake you over the coals, whatever happens happens and it's not your fault, poor Mai. I never realized I fell for such a pathetic woman." Even in death, Zuko talked like he had the solution to everything- like he was so sure of himself. "You are the empress of the most powerful land in the world now. It's time you act like it. You know my sister better than anyone. It was never Ty Lee, it was always you."

A thousand thoughts were threatening to crush her, a toxic, black miasma she could not escape. She felt sick to her stomach with uncertainty. She couldn't make sense of this - why was he visiting her, why didn't he hate her, why why why?! Her fists clenched, and she let loose a harsh, broken sob and burst into tears. Reaching out, Zuko placed an icy hand on Mai's belly.

"She even took that from me," Mai said hysterically, shuddering with dread as she thought of the weekly ritual that made her "barren". "The liquid, it-it kills the fire in my belly. No matter what, her seed won't set, and she tells our people that I'm infertile. I'm nothing. I'm not a woman, not a human, not the girl you fell in love with- I'm not anything. Can't you see, Zuko?" She shifted her arms. "All I am… all I am are these chains!"

He didn't care that she could not bear a child anymore. He didn't care that she was denied Fireseed. Zuko merely stared back calmly. "You are the Fire Lady, Azula's first wife, her first kiss."

Mai's eyes widened with realization.

"Perhaps it's time you step into your power, as is proper. Or you can let the world consume you. I no longer have a say. Goodbye, Mai."

Finished speaking with her, Zuko began to walk away. The chains binding Mai jangled as she tried to reach out after him, and then she let her hand drop. The way he'd looked at her, spoken to her. That was the end of it, the end of whatever they had. He was gone now, phasing through bars of metal as if he was made of nothing, fading into the empty air like an apparition - but he had to be real. The ghost saw through all her lies, every one of them.

She laughed and laughed and laughed until a harsh, familiar sound slammed against the side of her cage.

"Shut up!' The patrolling guard roared, and he slammed the spear into the bars a few more times for good measure. Mai closed her eyes, still very amused, the heavy metal clangs ringing in her head. At some point, the world faded away again. Back into the empty gray.

Somewhere, a rat scuttled.

The darkness of nothingness was broken by bright light, and hard hands on her body. Suddenly, violently, she was shaken awake. Mai gasped. Someone pressed a cup of water to her lips. She drank it, not caring that it was slightly warm. The relief on her dry throat was immense, and the cupbearer stepped back after a few big, parched mouthfuls from the Fire Lady.

An old man was sitting across from her in the cell, pondering. He'd pulled a stool up and had a torch lit, as well as the pipe that he repeatedly took long, slow draws from. She recognized him, of course. Shin Hua, one of the most powerful men in the Fire Nation, was once nothing more than a commoner and was now Azula's most loyal pet. His long, pale beard was impeccably groomed, hanging over his golden-clad chest. He wore dense, expensive clothes, and had a square-shaped hat on his head. He was sucking on a pipe, slowly, eyes closed, and he exhaled a plume of smoke as he saw that she was awake. "Good evening, Fire Lady."

It wasn't just him present. Behind him stood three tall men with round hats and emerald robes.

Mai flinched when Shin shifted in his seat toward what Mai knew came next. Placed next to the old tactician was a table, with a small wooden bowl on it, and a tube. Foul black liquid, like squid's ink, sat moodily in the base of the bowl. She recognized its potent smell. The life-taking liquid of the Earth Nation, which took away a woman's ability to bear children so long as it was repeatedly applied. It was a strenuous, painful process, and Azula had wanted something permanent, but according to Shin Hua, no human could survive consuming the amount it would take to do that, so it was weekly instead, And this man carried out whatever Azula ordered loyally, nothing more than a tool, a lapdog.

Mai scowled at him, teeth grit. "Don't you ever get tired of this?"

Shin shook his head, took another puff from his pipe, and blew the sweet smoke right into her face. His expression was frigid. "No. I never get tired of punishing traitors." He stood up now, a tall, stringy man, old but healthy. "And you are the worst of them all." He lifted the bowl, and walked towards her, nodding at one of his men. "Hold her."

"Get away from me!" Mai said sharply, glaring at the approaching men. Ignoring her, the servant stepped forward, seizing Mai by the jaw, and opened her mouth violently. Despite her giving no attempt to struggle, her assailant was exceedingly rough as he dragged her chin downward, his other hand clamped over her nose. His hands smelled like his leather gloves, and sweat.

Lord Shin moved forward to dump the black moisture between her lips, then stopped. He peered at her, long and hard, and then at the bowl.

"Do you want it, Fire Lady Mai? Fireseed? I'll give it to you."

Why? Why so suddenly, when before...? Mai's mind twisted with confusion. Had Azula decided her fertility was worth saving after all? "I want..." She slammed her lips shut before more treacherous words could come spilling out, and Shin smiled crookedly.

"Are you ready to bear the Fire Lord's child, as is your duty?"

The words shattered her peace - the thought of doing such a thing was unbearable, and somehow, she was starved for it. Zuko - her head ached. Why had he come to her? Why?

"When Lady Ty Lee shows herself, you will realize quickly how worthless you are."

"Ty Lee? She's gone. Safe."

"Not anymore. She's returned, and once she's under the Fire Lord's heel you will fade into the annals of history as nothing more than the barren, treacherous whore of that traitor that you are. But, that's what you wanted, wasn't it? You used to not struggle at all. You were grateful, the idea of her child a nightmare. Thinking about it, would it not be better to just disappear down here forever? She'll never visit you again. You'll be free of her for good." The old man's pale moon face, full of a huge, broken-toothed sneer, terrified her. "A forgotten toy."

"I want it, Lord Shin! H-Her child," Mai whispered desperately.

"Yes, of course you do." He let the bowl fall to the ground, the black contents spilling out all over the dungeon floor. The bowl clattered in a circle, then settled in the corner of the cell with a certain finality. The sound echoed across the walls, making Mai flinch. Shin Hua walked up to her, and cupped her face in his withered old hand, beady eyes burning steadily. "The Fire Lady is rather soft, sensitive, especially about her seed." The old man offered a keen grin. "It'll be our secret, won't it? Somehow, the poison failed, and your body has become immune. It can't be helped."

"What are you up to, old man? W-Why help?"

"For the good of the Fire Nation, of course. Remember this kindness, and perhaps I'll help you again. Goodnight, Lady Mai."

Shin Hua leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth, then her neck. Mai shuddered, his touch like acid. She jerked away from him.

"W-What are you doing? Don't!"

Shin Hua did not explain, but his smile disappeared. He let her go as she desired and walked off without saying anything else. His disposition was unreadable. Or perhaps Mai was too lost to make sense of anything. She still saw her dead boyfriend at the edge of her mind, still heard his words as if he'd actually said them. The hat-wearing men followed their master.

She tried to stay awake, tried to make sense of any of it, but she was just so tired. A few minutes later, the darkness took her again.

For the first time in years, Azula wanted her hair brushed. She'd had a strange pride in her tangled mess of ebony locks, it was proof that she could do whatever the fuck she wanted, it'd become a part of her but when she saw herself in the mirror, she detested the image. Staring at herself, she no longer seemed like the wild-eyed, wild-haired warrior lord she thought she was. Instead, she saw herself as something filthy, unkempt. A mad dog. Ty Lee could never see her in this state. It just wouldn't do. So, she called on her wife once again, for a different reason this time.

Poor, worn-out Mai was so frightened of being "shown off" again, that when Azula had her dragged to the Fire Lord's quarters a few nights later, she was practically having a panic fit. She tried not to show it of course, the regal noblewoman held her chin high and stared steadily at the ground, but Azula could see through her wife. If she were to put her ear to Mai's lovely, naked chest, she'd hear her heart racing like a frightened rabbit's.

Azula was sitting in front of the huge mirror in her bedroom, her pale body clad in her nighttime robes, maroon this time. Mai, of course, wore nothing but her pale scars and a useless, flimsy blanket that did next to nothing for her modesty.

"My lord, the Fire Lady, as requested." One of Mai's escorts greeted. He saluted and waited for his next orders, his spear held tight in his grip. At his side, his comrade was silent and at attention, equally as ready for direction. She had such wonderful, discreet soldiers. Azula stood up.

If she wasn't paying such rapt attention to her beautiful Mai, she would've missed the way her wife flinched away from her for a fraction of a second… as well as the woman's shock that she'd done so. Normally, Mai managed to at least keep up that passive mask of hers, but her perfect composure was crumbling. Mai couldn't keep herself trapped inside any longer, her emotions were bursting out. It was amusing to see. The woman was just about broken this time.

'She needs some time to herself, or she'll really crack permanently. A madwoman for a wife is the last thing I need,' Azula mused internally, before turning to her men. Their eyes burned behind their visors. No doubt, they were wondering what Azula had intended for her treacherous other half. "You may leave," Azula said, addressing the guards, and they nodded, "but undo the Fire Lady's bindings first."

The second soldier stepped forward with a key, and unlocked the cuffs that contained Mai's wrists, before walking off with a respectful gesture, closing the door behind him and leaving the two women alone. Mai stood there, completely silent. She stared at anything but Azula.

The Fire Lord skipped her usual games and sat back down. "I want you to brush my hair, the way you used to."

Mai's eyes widened, her face lifting. She stared at her former best friend with a look of total disbelief. "What?" Her question hung in the air, and Azula's smile widened. The Firebender turned to regard herself in the mirror once more, making a sound of dissatisfaction.

"It's been a long time since I've truly let my hair down, so to speak. I've brushed it occasionally, I wash it, but I think from now on, I'd like to do it the way I used to." Azula trailed off, raising her hands to her head. Her dark eyes burned into herself then flashed over to Mai once more. Her grin was huge. "But, you know, somehow, I've forgotten how. I bet you remember. You were always good with such matters, political drivel, personal grooming, all those useless, arbitrary things in life."

It'd truly been so long since she'd partaken in such intensive personal grooming. In truth, marking her hair off as an untouchable zone had allowed her to escape certain intrusive thoughts. A long silence. Then, Mai laughed. "You want me to brush your hair?"

"What's so wrong with a girl wanting pretty hair?" Azula asked in amusement, and as a sort of peace treaty, she offered the brush, extending it outward. "Wouldn't be so bad to return to the way we used to be, just for a while, would it?"

Suspiciously, her wife glowered at the brush. But after a second of quiet contemplation, she stepped forward and tugged at the object. Azula let it go, and Mai stared at her, almost like she didn't believe the Fire Lord's request. Azula grabbed her mass of dense locks, and pushed them behind her shoulders, closing her eyes and placing her hands on her desk.

It was, perhaps, daring to have her eyes closed – but Mai was Azula's loyal dog. She was addicted to whatever torment Azula had to offer and had lived through it for so long that it had become routine to her. To break away from that routine for something as risky as an attempted assassination? She wouldn't dare.

Even so, Azula's heart raced with a kind of twisted excitement. What if Mai really did try to strike? What if she gathered up that spark of life inside, for just one moment, and went in for the kill? There was never a better time for it. Azula was sitting down, turned away, and she had her eyes closed. Azula wet her lips as she imagined it. She could handle her pathetic wife, the woman would be dead, or broken before her, in a heartbeat. But it was fascinating, wondering if she might try.

A few seconds later, Mai's hands fell onto her shoulders, and with a despaired sound, the woman did something Azula never would've expected. She sat in Azula's lap, wrapped her arms around the Fire Lord's waist, and embraced her, breathing heavily. "Azula.."

The Fire Lord opened her eyes. She wasn't sure what she expected, but it wasn't Mai's current expression. The woman's dark eyes had the oddest, hollow gleam in them, they glimmered from beneath the choppy veil of her long, inky bangs. Mai's body seemed to be burning up. Her nipples were erect against Azula's chest, and when she shifted, she smeared a thin river of wetness up the Fire Lord's bare, muscular leg. Mai breathed heavily in her ear.

A shiver went down Azula's spine. Common sense told her to cast this woman off, who was touching her so intrusively, and without permission, but instead she let Mai do as she wished for once. It was harmless, surely. "What exactly are you doing, whore?" Her tone was acidic, but in truth, her "wife" had never touched her like this, so tenderly, even before everything. They'd never even had a warm friendship. Yet Mai was touching her almost like a lover might, and the oddest heat flowed through her.

Mai's hands continued to roam, but now with purpose. Her fingers slid under the hem of Azula's robe, grazing the bare skin of her stomach. Azula realized where this was going and was about to put a stop to it when Mai's lips brushed her neck, earning a full-body shiver. She forgot how to struggle when Mai kissed her neck and pulled her robes open, revealing Azula's naked chest, the long, thick length of her porcelain member resting on her toned abdomen, dark, messy hair falling across her shoulders.

"You're beautiful," Mai whispered.

Azula flinched. She looked like a frightened child at that moment. The Fire Lady stared in wonder - it wasn't the first time she'd seen that face, and it was even better than the first time.

"W-why are you doing this?" but her words fell on deaf ears.

Mai began to kiss her. On the mouth this time. Once, softly, then twice more, harsher, her tongue playing against Azula's lips. Azula let her in. The kiss was hungry, and familiar, just like the first time.

As Mai began to sink down onto Azula, taking the dark-haired firebender into herself, the Fire Lord forgot all about her hair.