He reminded me of Ponyboy. This kid looked younger than Pony is though and had blonde hair, but the green eyes looked like my youngest brother's. I hadn't seen Ponyboy in almost ten years. He'd been practically a baby last time I saw him. The guilt of never finding him like I had promised has been gnawing at my gut every day since we've been separated. When I was a kid, I would beg my social worker to place us back together but she was never able to. She didn't even give me a phone number so I could at least talk to him. And when I had finally turned eighteen and tried to get custody, social services told me they didn't have anybody with the name Ponyboy Curtis in their records. How they couldn't find someone with a name like that was beyond me. The social worker I gotten in touch said she was "working on locating him" whatever the hell that meant. He was lost somewhere out there. The fact that his name wasn't in their files left me with an eerie feeling. Like maybe something terrible had happened. But no matter what, I was going to get to the bottom of it. I was gonna find him. I had to keep the promise I made to him that day. At least I hadn't lost Sodapop. Losing Ponyboy was even harder on him than it had been on me. Soda loved that kid more than anything. I knew I needed to find Pony, for all of us, so we can be whole again.
Even though I didn't have work today, I still woke up early. Force of habit. I did have things I needed to do today though so I'd have to sort out what to do with the kid on the couch. Since it was Saturday, I planned to go hang out with Soda at the DX where he worked before it got too busy. I got dressed and quietly open my bedroom door to make my way down the hall. The kid was still sleeping on the couch, curled up in the blankets. The purple bruise on his cheek stood out starkly against his pale skin. He looked peaceful in that moment, but I couldn't help but notice he seemed to be in a bit of rough shape. Aside from the bruise, his lip looked like it was split and he was so skinny he looked a like even a soft breeze could knock him over. With the state he was in and how scared he was last night, I figured he must be some sort of trouble. Poor kid, he didn't look older than 11 or 12. It pissed me off that someone would hurt a kid like that. I sighed quietly, trying not wake him up, and made my way into the kitchen. I started a pot of coffee and then I figured I could at least make him some breakfast before figuring out what to do with him.
I had a pan of scrambled eggs cooking and some bacon sizzling on the stove when I heard the kid start to wake up. He shot up on the couch, looking around like he didn't know where he was. When he saw me, his shoulders tensed, like he was nervous or something.
"Morning kid. Breakfast will be ready in a few if you want some."
His shoulders relaxed. He got up and walked into the kitchen and I had to suppress a chuckle at the state of his hair. Standing there in my old clothes, he really did look skinny. I felt like the least I could do was give this kid a good meal, he looked like he needed it.
"No that's okay. I should probably be going soon anyway, you've already done too much for me."
"It's no trouble, I made extra, I figured you'd be hungry"
The smell of the bacon was wafting through the kitchen and the kids eyes looked at the pan as if it were the most magical thing he'd ever seen.
"Sit down, I'll make you a plate" I said with a smile. The kid sat down at the kitchen table, his hands gripping the edge of the table so tight his knuckles were white.
"Thank you" he just about whispered.
I put a plate heaping with eggs and several pieces of bacon in front of him. I grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured two glasses, setting one down by the plate of the food the kid was staring at. I pulled my own plate toward me and started eating. Glancing up, he was still just staring at his plate. "Eat up while it's hot kid" I told him.
He glanced up at me and shot me a small smile then picked up his fork and started eating. He ate slowly at first but once he got started he cleared his whole plate in less than five minutes. I was fast eater, but this kid ate like he didn't know when he'd eat next. For all I knew, maybe he didn't. Once again I felt something stir in my chest, like I needed to do something for this kid.
"Thank you" he said again, looking up at me so sincerely it almost took my breath away.
"No problem kiddo" I told him.
"Do you want me to clean up? Since you cooked and everything?"
"Nah, I'll get to it in a minute." I tell him and then decide to test the waters a bit "I do want ask you a few questions if that's okay"
His shoulders stiffens up again. But he nodded slowly "Yeah. Yeah that's okay I guess."
"You said last night you were running away. And from the looks of you, it looks like someone put you through the wringer. Are you in some kind of trouble?"
He was staring down at his plate, clutching his hands together in his lap.
"I…I just needed to get away from that house. My foster father is…not so nice."
So he was a foster kid. As much as it pissed me off that this kid had been treated this way, I felt a little spark of hope in my chest. He looked to be around Pony's age, probably a little younger, maybe he had met him at some point while being in the system. I wanted to ask outright, but I had to figure out to help this kid first.
"He the one that gave you that shiner?"
The kid looked up at me, meeting my eyes. He nodded slowly.
"Is there someone I can call for you? A friend or your social wor-"
"No!" he cut me off "Please don't call her. She'd make me go back and I can't go back there, I won't!"
"Okay, easy" I tried to soothe. Poor kid looked down right spooked. "Is there anyone else? You got any family, brothers or sisters? "
"No I don't got anyone else. I don't have any siblings either." He brought up a sleeve and wiped at his nose.
"So what's your plan then kid?"
"I don't really have one" he said "I figured I'd maybe hop a train, get far enough away so they won't find me and then figure it out from there."
As far as plans went, that one sucked. Not only that, all the kid had were clothes he had been wearing last night, he didn't even have a backpack with him. He seemed like a real nice kid, he'd never make it out on the streets.
"Listen Philip, you seem like a good kid, I don't know if you know how rough it is out there" The look he gave me at that told me he knew how rough the world could be. "I'd hate to think of a kid like you out there with nowhere to go."
I had known kids like that, kids with no one who cared about them and ended up on the street. They got into drugs and liquor and had to do unspeakable things just to survive. The thought of this kid, or any kid, having to live like that made my skin crawl.
"How about this? I got to go meet up with my brother soon, but if you wanna come by here tonight, we can try and figure out a better plan."
"Why do you even care? It's not like you know me or anything" he nearly yelled, looking flustered and confused.
"I was a foster kid too. I know the score" I tell him simply.
"You were?" he asks, looking at me with owlish eyes. I know I had mentioned my foster father last night but the kid had been so scared he probably didn't really listen to what I was saying.
"Yep. When my parents died almost ten years ago, me and my little brothers got put in the system. I know how bad it can be, and I know what it's like to need help."
He looks down at the table. He seems to be thinking over what I said. I hope him knowing that I was in the system will help him to trust me a little more.
"So you know what it's like?" he asks, looking back up at me.
"Yeah kid. I do"
"What happened to your brothers?"
I smile at him. "Well my second youngest brother and I were together for a bit but we got separated. We've been able to keep in touch and I'm actually talking to his social worker on Monday to try and get guardianship of him. He's staying in a group home right now but I go visit him at work on Saturdays." I clear my throat, it's always hard to talk about Pony. "And we've been split up from my youngest brother since our parents died. I don't know where he is, they never told us where they put him."
"Oh" he says sadly, like me being separated from my brother hurts him too. He's quiet for a moment. "How old are you?" he blurts out.
I bark out a laugh at the question while the kid blushes bright red.
"I didn't mean that to be rude. I just meant, you don't seem old enough to be somebody's guardian."
"I'll be twenty in a few weeks. But I've been trying to get custody of both of them since the day I turned eighteen. It's just been more of a struggle than I thought."
"You'd think the state would be glad to have someone who actually wants custody, since they got so many kids who need a home"
"Yeah, you'd think" I say "You dig okay kid" I tell him with a smile that he returns.
The kid seems to be letting his guard down, maybe even trusting me a little bit. I hope he'll end up trusting me enough to let me help him. I don't know exactly how yet, but I need to at least think of a better plan than hopping a train and living on the street.
"So kid, speaking of my brothers, I was wondering if you ever ra-"
The front door slammed open loudly. The kid jumped so hard in his chair I thought he was gonna fall out of it.
"It's okay kid" I tell him. There was only one person I knew who slammed the door that hard.
"Dallas! How many times have I told you not slam the door that hard?" I said as the blonde hood slinked into the kitchen as I mentally curse him for interrupting me when I was about to ask about Ponyboy.
Dallas didn't bother giving me an answer. Just went to the stove and started fixing himself a plate. He turned around and plopped into one the kitchen chairs and started in on his food. He glanced up at me and shrugged and then looked at the kid, realizing he didn't know the person sitting at the table.
"Who the hell is this?" he asked with a mouth full of food.
"This is Philip, he needed a place to crash last night. Philip, this is Dallas". Dallas gave the kid a hard look. Philip seemed to shrink back under Dally's gaze.
"Don't I know you from somewhere?" He asked.
"No, don't think so" Philip said uncomfortably, shifting around in his seat.
I looked on interest, wondering how Dallas knew this kid. Dally kept staring at him.
"Yeah. Yeah I do. You're the kid who hangs around with Johnny. I've seen you two at the library."
"Oh" the kid said, sounding relieved "I mean, I guess. I've just kinda seen him around there. He gave me a cigarette"
Dallas snorted. "It was probably from I pack I stole for him."
Speaking of Johnny, "Where is Johnny anyway? I figured he was with you last night." I ask Dallas.
"He spent the night at Two Bits" Dally says, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve and standing up. "I'm gonna swing by there next. Tell your brother and his idiot friend that there's a race going on tonight at the tracks. Those two will wipe the floor with soc sissys who are racing tonight." He starts toward the door before turning around and adding "Speaking of socs, Shepherd said they've been coming over to the east side and causing some trouble. Tell your brother and Steve to keep an eye out." He pauses and looks at Philip "You'd better keep an eye out too kid." And with that he turns on his heel and walked out the door, slamming it hard again. Typical Dallas.
I look at the clock. I really do have to get going to meet up with Soda. I start clearing the dishes from the table and take them to the sink to start washing them. The kid gets up and helps me finish clearing and takes a towel and dries the dishes without me even asking. "Okay kid, I gotta head out to see my brother. Do you wanna hang here until I get back so we can figure out what to do with you?"
"No it's fine, I'll go hang somewhere else" he says, nervously glancing out the window. The sky is still dark but at least the rain stopped. It does look mighty cold out there today though.
"Want me to drop you off somewhere? Maybe the library?"
The kids face lights up but he ducks his head like he's trying to hide it.
"If it's no trouble for you"
"Nope. It's actually on my way. Go get dressed and then we'll head out."
The kid grabs his clothes from the living room and goes into the bathroom to change. Once again, something tugs at my heart, telling me there's something more to this kid. Maybe it's just that he reminds of Pony, or more what I think Pony would still be like. Or maybe he even reminds me of me when I was that age, lost and scared and just looking for someone to give a damn about me. Whatever it is, I know I've got to do what I can to help this kid. Maybe Soda will know what to do. I'll talk to him about once I go see him.
The kid comes out, wearing the jeans and t-shirt he had on yesterday, my clothes folded neatly in his arms.
"You can keep that jacket. It's practically freezing out there, and it's way too small for me."
The kid thanks me and puts the jacket on and we head out to my truck. As we pull up to the library, I put the car in park and turn to the kid.
"Listen kid. I really do want to help you."I tell him earnestly, really trying to make sure he understands. "Hang out here for a bit and then I'll swing back in an hour or two and we'll figure out what to do."
"You don't have to do this. You don't have to help me." he says.
I slowly reach my hand out and put it on his shoulder. He tenses them up but doesn't pull away. He looks at me and relaxes slightly. I give his shoulder a light squeeze.
"I want to. I've been where you are. My brothers have been where you are. Us foster kids have to look out for each other" I say giving him one more light squeeze.
He takes a deep breath. "Okay. Thank you" He says it likes he means it. Like he might actually let me help him.
"No problem kiddo. You promise you'll be here in few hours for me to pick you up?"
He looks in my eyes and says "I promise"