Infinite
Pain became the world, and the world became pain. Pain was sharper than steel, more dazzling than the sun, more bitter than the sea, more acrid than sulfur, it obliterated the senses and annihilated its subject. No individual can stand up to no pain. There are no conditions in which one would ever desire to increase their own suffering. In the face of pain one can only wish for it to end. Pain destroyed the will, and, with the will, all sense of self.
He did not remember who he was anymore. He was merely a wild beast trapped in the throes of fire and torment. The fire burned every inch of him. It scorched his skin and turned his fur into cinders. Pain swallowed him whole. Pain was omniscient, omnipotent, and ever present. A vengeful god that devoured him again and again, never growing faint, but ever hungrier. There was always more pain to dish out, and ever more torment for him to suffer.
He hid within himself, delving into the deepest bastions of his mind for refuge. Pain sought him out. It slipped like a serpent through his defenses, engulfing everything in an inferno. He watched as his memories burned away, along with his desires, his honor, and the very core of his animal being dissolved in a steam of burning air.
Pain erased. It would eviscerate him from the world, and there would be no marker of him left. Anything he could have called his own, or precious to him, he would have given on the altar to spare himself. There was nothing more wretched or contemptible than him, yet he would have placed entire populations between himself and the pain. He pulled away from the agony and from himself. For a moment, he saw, as if from high in the air, a black shape writhing on the ground, burning beneath a great fire. Someone else strode towards the tormented victim. They lowered their hands and suddenly the fire blew out. "This is the true price of power. You were not ready to pay it."
Zero woke up with his eyes already open. They beheld a dazzling white light which flooded an eerie all white room. Zero tried to blink but only managed to twitch his face. He tried to move but he was strapped tightly to a table. Zero inhaled and winced at the raspy sound that he made. Beep. Beep. A monitor to his right started to sound. It increased in frequency as Zero started to panic. He could not move at all. Something was horribly wrong. He tried to move his head so he could look down the table but even that was impossible. Zero could do nothing but stare directly up at the light. He couldn't even close his eyes.
The machine continued to whine as Zero's heart raced. He felt an acute sense of dread rush throughout his body. Something was wrong, wrong in a way that could not be restored. If he could just squirm or move even the slightest he would feel relief, but his body was completely paralyzed.
Thud. A door closed on the other side of the room. Zero heard footsteps graze softly over the floor. "I am amazed that you are still alive." Lord Mesto loomed over the table. He glanced at the machine and then looked down at Zero. "Alive and awake it seems. Not that I can really tell a difference." Mesto moved out of Zero's sight and there was a scraping sound as a chair was moved. Mesto returned, this time sitting near Zero's head. "Can you understand me?" Mesto spoke softly as if he were at the bedside of a loved one.
Zero tried to nod his head or give some kind of acknowledgement. Futility gave way to frustration and the machine started beeping again. Mesto turned towards it and sighed. "You cannot speak or move. I would ask you to blink but you don't have any eyelids." He gave Zero a sympathetic smile and patted him on the shoulder. "Are you really awake?"
Zero tried to take a deep breath. The raspy sound returned and Zero couldn't even manage to breath through his nose. Again, his frustration made the machine beep. Mesto considered the sound and then stroked his chin. "I need to know if you are awake. This will only work if you have some strength left. Zero, if you can hear me, try to raise your heart rate."
Zero redoubled his effort to move and that managed to increase the frequency of the beeps. Mesto watched the machine doubtfully. His deep bronze eyes narrowed. "Calm yourself." That wasn't difficult to do. Zero relaxed and in a few seconds the machine went silent. Mesto stood up and started pacing. "Perhaps you really can hear me, which means that you are alive and that there is still a chance." Mesto leaned over Zero. "Do you remember who you are?"
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Mesto glared at the machine. "Were you a rebel?" The electrocardiogram slowed down. "Do you remember that your name was Zero and that you were the leader of the Jackal Squadron?"
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Mesto moved away from the table. Zero could just see him pacing on the edge of his vision. When Mesto returned there was a manic gleam in his face. "Do you remember who did this to you?"
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. The machine whined as panic surged through Zero. He felt the sting of the flames against his skin. His heart raged inside his chest, trying desperately to escape. Mesto squeezed his shoulder. "Yes…" He breathed. "Yes you remember. You were burned alive then tossed aside like nothing. You were weak…remember your weakness?"
Zero's throat constricted. The raspy sound he made whenever he took a breath became more high pitched. Beep. Beep. Beep. He was trapped inside his body, unable to escape or even scream. The pain returned and he remembered its absolute control. It was consuming him. Beep. Beep. Beep. "This is the true price of power. You were not ready to pay it."
Relief, sweet cold relief rushed through Zero's body. He felt weightless and seemed to float off the table. The white light above him burst open and dazzled his vision. For a mere moment, Zero escaped his pain, but all too soon the moment passed. The white light faded and the feeling of weightlessness turned back into heavy stillness. Mesto's face swam into focus above him. Zero heard the clatter of Mesto dropping something behind him. "You should have died. When they brought you to me, most thought it would be a mercy to finish you off. I insisted that you be brought back to my lab. My spells and elixirs have kept you on the brink of life. There was pain, much of it. You have been completely broken down. Nothing remains of the warrior that you once were. If you were to see yourself now you would weep until you died."
Mesto stepped away and folded his arms behind his back. "You are weak, you always knew that you were weak. That is why you hid yourself among the strength of your allies, why you insisted on taking easy assignments and why you were the first to risk the power of the Sol Gems. Do you agree?"
Beep. Beep. Mesto smirked, his smile caused the scar beneath his eye to stretch revealing the gash of open flesh beneath. "A weakling such as yourself does not deserve to live. Power is god and you are faithless."
Beep. Beep.
Mesto approached the table. His expression softened and he looked down at Zero with pity. He placed a hand gently on Zero's forehead. "You wanted power and in return you paid the price. It was not the fires that devoured you, but your own weakness. A wretch such as you rarely has to face their own worthless nature. They go on with their meaningless lives never knowing that they are nothing. If you could see what you truly are, the nothing that is in you, you would break. Face to face with the abyss you would crumble."
Mesto moved back and resumed his pacing. "There is an irony to embracing the futility of life. If you can stand in front of the darkness and confront the empty unfeeling entropy, you will find infinity. Most can only test themselves in theory. They will never truly have to look behind the curtain, to see if they will blink in the face of nothingness." Mesto returned to his chair. His expression was full of greedy desire. "You have the chance to test yourself."
"Would you like to see it? You cannot look away, you cannot even close your eyes." Mesto turned back and Zero heard typing on a keyboard. Something rumbled as it was turned on. A mirror was raised over the table. Zero wanted to scream but he had no lips to do so. The mirror reflected a hairless, rat-like creature strapped to a metal table. It was disfigured and burned severely. It had only one arm as the rest of the limbs had been removed. The face had no snout, only an empty hole. Its eyes were grotesquely huge with no lids to cover them.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Zero's heart thundered as he tried to squirm away. Tears flooded down his cheeks as he tried to escape. Mesto crouched down beside him and scooped up one of his tears with a fingernail. He smiled as he raised it up to his face.
"That horrid creature that you behold is you, Zero. It is the image that you have long dreaded, the one that lingered in the corner of your nightmares. It is the true image, the one that you most wanted to hide." Mesto seized Zero by the head. "Don't weep at what you have become, weep because of what you are, what you have always been." Zero could not stop weeping either way. He wanted to fall through the table, to sink through the floor and be buried beneath the earth. The creature on the table was more dreadful than any flame or burn. Die…let it die…
"It will die." Mesto said. "You will kill it." He typed on the console and the mirror was withdrawn. It took several minutes for Zero's heart rate to slow back down. Once the machine was quiet, Mesto relaxed his grip on Zero's head. "Is that what you want? Do you want to destroy your weakness?"
Beep. Beep.
"You have known pain, but would you endure true suffering?"
Beep. Beep. Though the mirror was gone, Zero's lidless eyes continued to see the wretched creature. The image was burned into his sight and filled him with rage. Zero had always loathed the weakness inside of himself, now that he could see its true appearance his hatred increased exponentially. Hatred was more focusing than fear. Pain could not be endured in the moment, but it could be welcomed in exchange for something else.
A light danced in Zero's eye as Mesto drew out a Sol Gem. He held it aloft while smiling ear to ear. "There is a way. A process of my own invention, one not even the emperor knows. I can synchronize a living heart to a Sol Gem to create a tool of limitless power. But the heart must understand the price. The process will destroy you. The agony inflicted on your physical body can hardly compare to what the synchronization will do to your mind and soul. You will be wrenched apart and reformed into a phantom. In the end, your weakness will be gone."
Mesto's voice dropped to a whisper. "I can make you whole again, I can give you power beyond anything you have ever imagined. You will never know weakness again. Your power will be infinite. Will you pay the price?"
Zero cringed at the mention of agony and wrenching. He felt the ghostly touch of fire against his skin and it flooded him with cold dread. Panic seeped into his veins. He could see the hairless creature squirming on the table. It moved its shrunken limbs and wailed with a mouth that had no lips. Two combating instincts wrestled inside him. His desire to escape, to hide himself from more pain, battled against his ravenous hatred for himself. Zero pictured tearing apart the wretched creature, ending its squirms and cries. Hate replaced panic and Zero felt a powerful warmth enter his body. That warmth only reminded him of the fires and the dance of indecision resumed.
"This is the true price of power. You were not ready to pay it." Those words cut through the fog like a sword. Zero's mind was clear and he had one moment to make a choice.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
AN: This is the end of the part III. There might be a long delay until part IV as I don't think I'll do separate uploads and I probably won't upload at all until all the chapters are done. The Endgame is approaching so I want to take my time and now that many of the stories will start to converge there isn't a need for separate stories. If you have any comments or suggestions drop a review and thanks for reading!