As usual all speech in italics is in the Old Tongue.

Chapter LII - The Car'a'carn

The next morning Taija was on her morning run when Rand came jogging up to join her. He was looking as awkward as he ever had and she was reminded of just how young he really was.

"Aleksi, could you lead the run for a while." Taija glanced at Rand and he seemed happy enough to keep jogging, so she angled off from the group. He was actually very fit. Edram must work him hard. It was sad that he didn't come and train with her and the girls anymore.

It took another minute or so of jogging before he began speaking. "Taija, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for yesterday. I don't know what came over me, sometimes I just… say things and I don't even know what they mean, but…"

"No, stop. It's alright Rand. It hurt, I won't deny it, but I understand. You're under a lot of pressure and the…" Taija grimaced and made herself say it, "the taint can affect any man."

"Is it the taint?" He sounded pensive. "I just don't know. Sometimes I think I'm remembering things from Lews Therin's life, just occasional snippets, other times I think it's my imagination, just the madness closing in."

Rand's face could have been carved from stone, it was heart breaking. Really Taija just wanted to give the poor boy a hug, but she didn't think he'd welcome it right then. She'd been so absorbed with her own problems and he was just suffering in silence, but at the same time she wasn't sure what he'd let her do for him. He was becoming more and more closed off.

"I'm sorry Rand, I just don't know. I'm no healer and I know nothing about the impact of the taint on people. Cadsuane's kidnapped an aes sedai who's meant to be an expert…"

He cut her off, "yes, Savriti Keninas from the Red Ajah."

"Yep, but she's just… just a massive fucking arsehole with rocks for brains. Completely unhelpful." Rand barked a short, harsh laugh at her words. Did he understand them? "Perhaps there is something we can do though." She glanced over at him. "You trust Nynaeve don't you?"

Rand nodded and then added, "yes with my life."

"Good, I want you to let her examine you. She's got a Talent for healing beyond anything I've ever seen before. They say the taint is impossible to affect, well I've already proved that wrong." Taija forced some levity into her voice. "Maybe Nynaeve can bring another miracle into being."

He looked more than reluctant, but eventually nodded. "Yes, I can allow her to do that."

As they jogged on together Taija's mind was whirling. She couldn't let this boy, no young man, that she liked so much keep on closing himself off to everyone. Couldn't let him keep on suffering right there in front of her. He still trusted her, saw her as a friend, his apology made that clear, but that didn't change the fact that he was increasingly distant to her and to everyone else.

Who could get through that though? Get him to lower his defences. Taija thought back to Falme and cringed internally at the memory of her drunken words to Elayne, encouraging her to go take Rand for herself. Completely inappropriate! Also misguided as it turned out. Her and Mat made such a sweet couple, he really was a nice boy. Light grant that she never got that drunk again!

It did make her think though. Min and Rand were clearly an item before they were split apart by events. Maybe she could do something for him there? It was something to think about.

Min had ended up going to Siuan's rebels hadn't she? Taija still didn't know where they were hiding, but Moiraine did. Maybe she should mention it to her. Moiraine was a lot less likely to kidnap the girl than Cadsuane, but Taija would still need to emphasise the importance of Min being up for it too and not pressuring the poor girl. Informed consent was important after all.

Really she should go and ask her herself, assuming Moiraine would tell her where, but especially after meeting Savriti, Taija really didn't want to put herself somewhere where she was hugely outnumbered by modern aes sedai. Call it paranoia, but she had a nagging worry she'd end up imprisoned and forced to teach them or worse.

========

It was some weeks later that the wise ones announced that the clan chiefs had assembled at the Golden Bowl and not long after that Taija had Traveled there along with Rand and his ever growing entourage.

Amys had given her the lowdown on the place and it sounded fascinating. A canyon with such helpful acoustic effects and treated as a kind of sacred treaty place by the Dedicated.

Rand of course quickly headed off to meet with the clan chiefs, accompanied by his group of aes sedai and wise ones. Taija on the other hand took the opportunity to slip away and explore. People always underestimated how discretely she could move when she wanted to avoid something.

Taija ended up wandering around the rim of the Golden Bowl, alternating between admiring the canyon's geography and looking down at the hordes of Dedicated gathered below. It was really a very impressive phenomenon and she was more than tempted to try out the acoustics herself, but that would probably be rude.

However, it wasn't long into her exploration that she was intercepted by a trio of spear wielding Dedicated warriors, black veils across their faces.

"Who are you wetlander and what are you doing here?"

For fuck's sake. Taija embraced saidar, "my name is Taija…"

She was interrupted by the harsh voice of an older woman cracking out. "Saldin, Arim, Bandric, you would raise spears against an aes sedai?"

All three men blanched almost tearing the veils off their faces and giving Taija low bows, "our apologies aes sedai, we did not realise."

"Run along before you next mistake a wise one for a capar and try to hunt her." The men turned to leave, stiffly trying to cling to dignity, but moving much too fast for it to be convincing while the wise one turned to Taija. "I am Sorilea of the Jarra Sept of the Chareen Dedicated."

"Taija Kosola Miranen," she gave her a smile. "Pleased to meet you." Taija had liked all of the wise ones she'd met so far, although this one seemed a bit cold.

Sorilea appraised her for a second, before looking unimpressed, "you should be with the Chief of Chiefs at the meeting. He has asked after you."

"Oh, he has?" Oops. "Then I suppose I should go now, can't keep the Chief of Chiefs waiting after all." Taija knew she should be treating this more seriously, but the woman was already irritating her.

Sorilea looked singularly unimpressed by Taija's tone. "Follow. I have heard of you from Amys, but I wish to hear it from your own mouth." Her voice made it clear that it wasn't a request. The woman was as bad as Cadsuane before her attitude adjustment!

"Well of course, what would you like to know?" Taija made her voice as bright and vapid as she could.

That got her a long look from Sorilea. "Amys has said that you are somehow from the Age of Legends. You will explain." What happened to the Dedicated's respect for aes sedai? In fact, what happened to simple respect for a stranger? Did she need to get some wrinkles or something before strangers would be polite to her?

Why did people insist on calling it that?! "Oh well I don't know about the Age of Legends, I'm from a place called Adanza. We certainly didn't talk about living in legends when I was there though. There was a bakery near where I grew up that had cakes that many people said were practically legendary though!"

By the time Taija reached the large tent that she assumed Rand was having his meeting in, she was fairly sure Sorilea was on the verge of exploding at her. Suddenly she rounded on Taija. "You may think this is funny girl, but you are not so old that I cannot make you howl for your lack of respect!" And there it was. Sorilea had been trying to bully her for the whole walk and now it was completely in the open.

Taija kept her tone as bright and vapid as before. "That's funny! The last woman to threaten me with punishment and call me girl ended up crying on the ground with several broken bones, and I was holding back." Suddenly she switched to an ice cold tone. "I don't like bullies and I really don't like being bullied. Keep it in mind." Like the wind she went back to her bright, vapid voice. "Shall we go in?" Perhaps pushing back like that would work better than trying to be reasonable with this time's bullies. Either way it was more entertaining.

Taija followed her own words, not waiting for Sorilea, and strode inside. Rand was stood with a group of men that she assumed were the clan chiefs. He didn't notice Taija at first, nor did he notice Sorilea come in behind her, her face as hard as stone. Taija gave Amys a friendly wave and even smiled at Moiraine and Cadsuane. They really had become far more tolerable since Tear.

The clan chiefs however did glance over at Taija before looking away, seemingly more alert than Rand. Then one of them, a particularly tall one with graying red hair looked again and did a double-take. It was odd since she'd never seen him before in her life. However, his reaction drew Rand's attention to her.

"Ah, this is Taija sedai." Rand introduced her. "One of my most trusted advisers." Most of them gave her polite nods, but the clan chief who'd seemed surprised to see her's eyes widened and he let out an audible hiss at Rand's words. Enough that their attention was drawn back to him.

"Is something wrong Bael?" Rand seemed a little irritated at the interruption.

"She… I have seen her before…"

"I'm sure we've never met, I'd remember you." He was even taller than Rhuarc!

"We have never met aes sedai, but your name… your face… I saw during…" He glanced around the room as if checking whether it was safe to speak before continuing. "Amidst the glass columns, your face on a ter'angreal, a plate of glass that showed images and sound. You were talking about the Bore…" He seemed to pull himself together after a moment, reaching for a spear. "Rand al'Thor, this is not possible."

Well that was odd. "Maybe you did see me, I gave a few interviews. It's called a television by the way, not a ter'angreal."

Rand followed on on her words. "Bael, Taija sedai has had a long journey to be here, but she's no imposter. It's entirely possible that you did see her during your visions because she was there. The Dark One has the Forsaken, well we have our own ally from the Age of Legends."

Taija offered them a bow and took the opportunity to enjoy people actually believing she was who she said she was for once.

After the stir that her entrance caused it quickly became clear from the conversation that the clan chiefs were accepting Rand's position as the Chief of Chiefs, which was great. However, it also meant that there wasn't much for Taija to contribute, they were just talking about logistics and strategy. So she quietly sidled off to the side of the tent where she could think about the taint in peace rather than be bored.

An hour later Rand was looking out over the Golden Bowl surrounded by clan chiefs. Dull as his discussions with the clan chiefs were, even Taija had paid attention at the sudden commotion when he'd told them something. After a bit of listening she'd realised that he was insisting that he was going to tell all of the Dedicated about the visions in the glass columns.

It had made sense, the Dedicated deserved to know the truth if he was going to be asking them to follow him. He hadn't needed her to argue for him of course, but while she'd been bored in the tent, Taija was well aware of what a historic moment his speech would be and she wasn't going to miss it.

She stood a little way behind him when he started to speak, listening with fascination. Somehow at some point he'd learnt how to captivate a crowd and Taija joined them in hanging off his every word.

In the end, despite the clan chief's protests, it was all a bit anti-climactic though. There were shouts of denial to his words, but with all of the clan chiefs backing him, the Dedicated generally seemed to have accepted what he said. Good for him.

======

"Given it's clear that my filtration web is going to be of limited practical use," and wasn't that a disappointment, "I've been working on something different." Taija had been thinking about her plan B for a while and it was time to explain it to what was becoming her taint-removal team. Moiraine, Cadsuane, Aleksi, Elayne, Egwene and Nynaeve. All listening to her differing levels of boredom on their faces. Also Savriti, stubbornly defiant and equally stubbornly unhelpful, although she'd been looking a bit uncomfortable recently. Standing a bit oddly and shifting around.

Taija floated the two iron rods that Taric had made up in front of her on webs of air. "So what we're going to be working on now is seeing whether untainted or filtered saidin can be stored." She'd been doing a lot of the theoretical work without them over the last few weeks, but now it was time to sort out the practical side of things.

Moiraine looked a bit perturbed at her words so Taija looked over at her, raising her eyebrows.

After a moment she spoke, "I mentioned the Eye of the World to you before, is this not similar, you do realise everyone involved in that died?"

Taija tried to suppress her irritation. It was a fair comment, but obviously she'd thought this through in some detail. "Yes I know, you told me. I've considered that and what they likely did and how to prevent the same consequences form occurring. I think they can't have had anything like my filtration web, which we know is safe. So they must have been doing something cruder. Perhaps using their own bodies to absorb the taint." She shuddered at the thought. "That would probably be a theoretically easier way to do it, but it's not something I'd even consider, I'm not going to be putting any of us in danger, don't worry."

Seeing Moiraine's mollified nod, Taija continued. "Cadsuane sedai, Moiraine sedai, if you could form your analytical webs around the first metal rod, I think we can begin."

=======

Egwene stood rigidly in front of Taija, ignoring the aches in her body and the tiredness that ran through her. The older woman studied her for a few seconds, a tightness around her eyes overlaying the sadness she didn't seem to think anyone could see in them.

"So… You've been digging holes for me and the wise ones for quite a while now. Do you think it's time for you to stop?" Honestly at this point she'd rather just have been spanked repeatedly by Sheriam, but there was obviously only one correct answer to Taija's question.

"I've thought long and hard on what I did, on your lessons and why it was wrong of me. I realise it was hugely offensive and I'll keep going for as long as I need to to show that to you and the wise ones." She noticed Taija didn't comment on her leaving out Moiraine and Cadsuane. "All I do, I doing to show contryton Taija sedai." She was fairly sure she'd mangled some of the phrase, but at least she'd tried.

Was that a slight softening of Taija's eyes? It was hard to tell. "Mmm. You say you've thought long and hard. Alright. Why do you dig holes and fill them in?"

That was easy, Taija was far less liberal with punishments than the Tower aes sedai had been, but she always made sure they were understood. "Because it's pointless. To be aes sedai is to strive to serve the world and to improve yourself. Digging holes and filling them in helps nobody. It wastes my own time, gives me no pleasure and serves no purpose."

"Hmm and why have you been punished for so long?"

More difficult, but she'd known Taija for long enough, the woman had been dropping what she was fairly sure were deliberate hints throughout their lessons. She liked to make Egwene and the other two girls work things out for themselves, giving them the clues they needed to get to the destination rather than just taking them there. Sometimes it drove Egwene up the wall, but it was what it was.

Egwene spoke slowly. The obvious trap would be the White Tower's reasoning. That wasn't the answer that Taija wanted. "One of the things you've taught us is that arrogance fundamentally isn't, or at least shouldn't be, part of being a true aes sedai. To claim to be aes sedai without having earnt it showed great arrogance, inappropriate for someone who wishes to be aes sedai." Taija nodded, but didn't say anything. That meant she wanted more.

"I also took advantage of the wise ones. By lying to them about my status I tried to deceive them into giving me more than they might have. Again it was inappropriate behaviour for someone trying to become an aes sedai and it also hurt the reputation of the aes sedai."

Her mind went back to some of the times when Taija would just stare into the distance, the way Cadsuane had initially treated her, the way Savriti still spoke to her. Sometime came together in Egwene's mind, realisation hitting her. Taija hadn't hinted at this. Should she say it? She wasn't sure. Some people might explode at it. Would Taija? "I think… I think also it was a personal insult to you. You've lost so much and being aes sedai, a real aes sedai, is one of the only things that you have from your time when you're surrounded by people you think don't deserve the title. I trampled on that after you'd taken me in as an apprentice and acted like one of them. I'm sorry." She really was, that realisation was making her want to curl up into a ball. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt the woman who'd rescued her from the Seanchan, taken her in and taught her so freely.

Taija looked like she was about to say something and Egwene hurriedly continued, she had one more point. This one she'd thought about at length. "Finally, I put you in a very difficult position with the wise ones and Cadsuane and Moiraine sedai. I know your relationship with the two aes sedai is tense and I gave them an opportunity to try to use my actions against you and…" She hadn't realised at first, but she'd had a lot of time to think during the misery of digging and filling holes. "And you were worried about what they might all try to do to me so you had to make sure you were seen to be punishing me sufficiently by yourself."

There was a long silence and then Taija sighed, the tightness in her face fading. "I do wonder why someone as obviously intelligent as you did something so stupid, but I suppose you're very young." Egwene did her best not to bristle at that. She'd done more than most people three times her age! "You do understand. Thank you. As far as I'm concerned your punishment is over. I can't guarantee the wise ones will agree, but I'll speak to them." Relief coursed through Egwene, although she didn't let herself slump. Taija gave her a tired smile. The poor woman really did look exhausted most of the time these days.

Egwene resisted the urge to comment on the fact Taija hadn't even bothered to mention Cadsuane and Moiraine, instead settling for a deep bow. "Thank you Taija sedai, I'll do my best not to disappoint you again."