The rights to Rex Milligan belong to the late Anthony Buckeridge. Those to Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. Those to the Dana girls, Linda Craig, and others to the Stratemeyer Syndicate. Death in Paradise and Doctor Who are owned by the BBC. Those to the Tudors are held by Showtime Entertainment, although I am using characters that were all genuine historical people. Other rights belong to Marvel Comics, DC Comics/Warner Brothers/Hanna-Barbera, Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, Disney, Jim Butcher, Susan Cooper, Joss Whedon, the estates of the late Terrance Dicks, the late PL Travers, the late Gerry and Sylvia Anderson, the late Enid Blyton, the late Charles Addams, the late Malcolm Saville, the late Ian Fleming, the late Peter O'Donnell and more. I own nothing and make claim to the same nothing.

Castle of Mey, December 2021

A mere six miles from John O'Groats, the Castle of Mey is about as far North-East as you can get on the British mainland. Originally constructed between 1566 and 1572 by the Fourth Earl of Caithness, the imposing structure had fallen into disrepair. In 1952, the newly widowed Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother purchased it as a personal residence. She had the castle, its gardens and thirty acres of grounds restored, adding the nearby Longoe Farm after purchasing it in 1958. In 1996, she established a Charitable Trust to preserve the charity for the nation. She promptly handed the estate and farm over to this Queen Elizabeth Castle of Mey Trust.

Following the Queen Mother's death in 2002, the castle was opened to the public for five months each summer, save for the annual visit of Prince Charles in late July and early August. His Prince's Foundation had taken over the stewardship of the Trust from 2019. The new Granary Lodge, a ten-bedroom bed-and-breakfast, opened that May.

A representative of the Trust was closing the castle for the night. Whilst not open to the public during the winter, the place still needed looking after. As she turned the key, she thought that she heard jingling reins and galloping hooves. Turning around, she saw a spectral coach and six coming up the driveway before vanishing.

There were no other sounds, but there was no story of any phantom coach in the Castle grounds. Was it a prank, a hallucination or a previously unknown spectral visitor? The woman returned home.

Early the following morning, what was the prints of a cloven-hooved bipedal creature were found in the snow in the walled garden. The matter was reported to the prince, who reported it to Her Majesty's Government.

With Christmas Eve only four days away, Pembroke House was lavishly decorated. Since ten historical figures associated with the Royal House of Tudor had been brought back from the dead in July 2020, a midsized hotel in Surrey had been restored and refurbished for their personal use. Anne Boleyn had been restored to her former title of Marquis of Pembroke, with her new wife Catherine of Aragon, now answering to the original Catalina, created her Marchioness. Mary and Elizabeth (who still prefers Bess), both also among the number, had been adopted by Anne and Catalina respectively, with the couple also adopting Katherine Howard (now answering to Kate). The five ladies used Pembroke as a surname. Having been restored to the old family Viscountcies of Rochford and Lisle resulted in George and Jane Boleyn and Guildford Dudley and Jane Dudley nee Grey doing the same, albeit as DeLisle in the case of the latter couple.

Edward Seymour and George Rochford were busy decorating a Christmas Tree in the hall. "An old custom," Edward noted, "which was introduced to the country some three hundred years after our respective executions. That makes me feel old, George!"

"I know what you mean, Ned," George responded with a laugh. "Still, it is good to be enjoying our second attempt at life, and relative youth in your case."

That is true, Edward reflected. The Holy Trinity took about fifteen years off Catalina and my ages, about five off Jane Rochford, over twenty off Mary and about fifty off Bess. Jane DeLisle gained a couple of years or so to match her husband.

As they finished, Anne entered, the greyhound Mark and Alsatian Francis at her heels. "You have both done an excellent job. That tree is beautiful. It just needs an angel to go on top…"

"Which should be for you to put up," Edward told her. He handed her the angel figure, whilst her brother fetched a stepladder. Anne grinned, mounted the ladder, and placed the figure on top of the tree.

Jane Rochford entered, her eight-month-old daughter Miriam in her arms. After kissing her husband, she turned to Anne. "The goose for Christmas is in the fridge. Can you remember back in our day? We might have an icehouse, but nothing like modern fridge-freezer."

Anne grinned. "I know! We may not have servants at every hand, but we have modern conveniences to do all the same jobs.

"I can communicate with people across the world simply by reaching into my handbag and retrieving my mobile. When I need to bathe, I can just turn on the taps in the bath."

Madge the cat crept in and started tapping the tree with her paw. Edward picked her up. "Time to return you to your basket, young Miss!"

Catalina came running in. "Anne, we have had an urgent message from Windsor Castle. The Prince of Wales wants our daughters to help investigate demonic footprints and a phantom carriage at the Castle of Mey. Apparently it is up in Scotland somewhere…

"Ned, you were in Scotland during the Rough Wooing. Have you seen it?"

Edward had turned on his mobile. "According to Google, Catalina, it is considerably further north than I ever reached. Bess was on the throne south of the border when it was built, so after my time, I'm afraid. It used to belong to the late Queen Mother."

"I suppose that the girls and us should visit His Royal Highness at Windsor, Catalina," Anne concluded.

The Lady Mary Pembroke-Robinson was cradling her developing bump. The cabal of former Young Adventurers that the British and American Governments used for sensitive cases had quickly recruited Mary, Bess and Kate to their number. During their first case in May 2021 (a mysterious dancing skeleton), she had fallen for Dan Robinson of the Baker Street Irregulars. Having married him in July and now three-and-a-half months pregnant with their first child, she was blissfully happy.

Mary, Dan and Bess were approaching the Great Staircase at Windsor Castle. The ghostly figure of a six-foot-plus obese man promptly appeared. "My beloved daughters!" Henry VIII bellowed in delight, receiving twin cries of "Papa!" in return.

"How is Mr Robinson here treating you, Mary?" the spectral figure asked. "And… You are with child! When is my grandchild due?"

"Dan is a perfect gentleman, Papa. I couldn't ask for a better husband. God willing, we should be parents in the early summer."

"Please bring him or her to meet me. I don't care what the gender is – and I shouldn't have back then either. You showed me that women could rule, Mary. Bess, you taught me that a queen regnant could be every bit as great as any king. After what I put your poor mothers through…" Twin tearful calls of "Thank you, Papa!" came from his daughters, as they snuggled together with Dan.

Having recovered her composure, Bess chuckled. "I'm looking forward to having a niece or nephew to spoil. Auntie Bessie has a nice ring to it!

"Well, Papa, as good as it always is to see you again, we have a meeting due to start with the present heir apparent in a few minutes. Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas to you all!" Bluff King Hal bellowed back before disappearing into the ether.

Charles, Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron Renfrew and Lord of the Isles, looked at the new arrivals. Seeing the short pretty Catalina with her red-gold hair and the slightly taller raven-haired dark-eyed Anne, it wasn't hard to imagine how they had captured and held the heart of a king. Mary and Bess had the Tudor auburn hair, both strikingly beautiful and with a definite presence about them. The younger sister, mere inches shy of her father's height and with her mother's striking dark eyes, was born to command attention. Kate had auburn hair herself, alongside a buxom figure and a cheery smile. Dan Robinson was tall, slim and dark-haired, clearly sharing the Holmes genes with his great-grandfather Sherlock (although Dan was unaware of this when he founded the Baker Street Irregulars back in the late 1970s). Kept young by the Royal Jelly Honey elixir vitae discovered by his illustrious forebear, Dan looked more like a man of 25 than 65. Mary, who was due to turn 506 in a couple of months (albeit having been a ghost for over 460 years of that time), joked that her husband was still her toyboy!

"I was wondering if you could look into these strange occurrences for me, please," the heir apparent said. "We need to know if someone is faking the haunting. If so, who is doing this and for what purpose.

"Your community has shown that it can be discrete, Mr Robinson, Lady Mary. As for Lady Pembroke…"

"Yes, your Royal Highness!" chorused Anne and Catalina in unison.

"Sorry, I forgot that you both can be so addressed. Lady Anne Pembroke, your other friends are also helping in the matter."

A tall slender man in formal black robes with equally black hair and a jagged scar on his forehead appeared with a loud bang. "Harry!" Anne (Gryffindor 1512-1519) said happily. She and Catalina ran up to embrace the Head of the Auror Department.

"Hi everyone!" Harry Potter responded cheerfully. "Your Royal Highness," he greeted the Prince of Wales with a bow, "my family, friends and I would be delighted to go ghost- and demon-hunting for you."

Dan nodded. "As would us Former Young Adventurers. As you say, Your Royal Highness, we can do discrete…"

The Alchemists Arms, that evening

To any passerby not in the know, The Alchemists Arms was a derelict hotel with overgrown grounds. Tap the front gate three times with a wand or stave, however, and you would see a tastefully restored private members club for an exclusive membership, primarily of mages. It was also the Headquarters of the Secret Circle, a magical taskforce established by Stephen Strange to defend our world from mystical threats. Harry and Anne, however, were not summoning a meeting of the Secret Circle general committee but meeting up with the extended Potter-Weasley and Pembroke clans.

Harry sat on a sofa in one of the two themed bars, this one designed to reflect a British or Irish pub. The other was patterned after a classic American Diner. Ginny had perched herself on his lap. Their mutual soulmates Wednesday Friday Potter nee Addams, Parvati Patil-Potter and Daphne Greengrass-Potter were snuggled up on the sofa with them, with Ginny and Daphne's fifth soulmate Tracey Davis-Greengrass on Daphne's knee. Parvati had her five-month-old daughter Anushka Lavender Potter cradled in her arms. James, Albus and Lily were babysitting Daphne's three-year-old daughter Dora back at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Millicent Potter nee Bulstrode had been magically blood-adopted as a sister by Harry and was sitting in an adjacent loveseat, her wife Pansy snuggled into her arms. Their son Sirius (whom Pansy had conceived by IVF with Harry as the donor) was a lively boy, less than five months from his fourth birthday. He too was being babysat by his elder half-siblings.

Another loveseat opposite held Ron and Hermione Weasley and their mutual soulmate Padma Patil-Weasley. Padma's twenty-one-month old son Sachin and Hermione's nearly three-year-old daughter Hope (conceived after she was raped by a muggle crime lord in the Caribbean, but legally adopted by Ron) were being looked after by Arthur and Molly back at the Burrow, whilst Rose and Hugo were with the Potter children.

Luna and Rolf Scamander shared a third loveseat, Lorcan and Lysander staying with his grandparents. Rex Milligan, The Quibbler's muggle correspondent, was seated in a fourth, his American wife Louise Milligan nee Dana in his arms. It was testament to the Royal Jelly Honey's prowess that both looked in their mid-twenties, despite being a couple of months shy of their respective 80th and 106th birthdays. Their adopted daughter Harriet, older biological half-sibling to Hope Weasley, was with her maternal aunt Jean Dana-Craig and the latter's wife Linda at the Dana House in Oak Falls. Zelena Mills was in an armchair next to them, Regina babysitting Robyn back in Storybrooke.

Anne and Catalina were holding court at the next table. Edward, who was an archivist at The Alchemist Arms' four libraries, was seated next to them, with Kate sitting opposite with the Rochfords. The DeLisles' were babysitting Miriam, as well as their own eight-month-old son Robert, back at Pembroke House. Bess was seated nearby with the Doctor and her "Fam," whilst Mary and Dan were with his fellow Baker Street Irregulars Jeff Webster, Liz Spencer (despite over forty years of marriage, she still hadn't taken Jeff's surname) and Mickey Denning in a cosy nook to the side of the room. This could be the Tudor Court, Anne thought to herself.

"A trip up to the Highlands should be fun," Daphne noted. "If nothing else, we should have a white Christmas for once!"

"We get to see in the New Year with a ceilidh too," Millie chimed in.

"What about rooms for us all, Harry? Should we take the Nike?" This was a hulking yacht commissioned from Q-Branch for a joint World Intelligence Network and Intra-Agency Defence Command mission in the Caribbean back in 2015. Three other Q-Branch yachts, the mid-sized Balaska II and the smaller Gloria Scott and Bonaventure, had since joined the fleet.

"That's a good idea, Millie. We can take it in turns to stay the night. The hot tub and sauna below decks would be appreciated too!

"Rex, are the Paranormal Investigations Bureau going to be joining us?" This consisted of Rex, his best friend from his schooldays "Jigger" Johnson, "George" Jones nee Kirrin and Jon and Penny Warrender. Since George's husband Jupiter Jones and Jigger's wife Velma Johnson nee Dinkley were also in the fraternity, as it were, Mystery Inc, the Three Investigators, the Dana Girls and Linda Craig were all honorary members. The rest of the Famous Five and the Lone Piners and the other old boys of Sheldrake Grammar School had similar stature.

"Yes, Harry. George, Jig and Jon are busy gathering their equipment as we speak. We can stay on the Balaska II.

"The Pembrokes and Irregulars can stay on the Bonaventure and Gloria Scott. Do you fancy spending the festive season at sea, Zelena?"

"It will be a pleasure, my pretty."

"Thank you, Zelena. We might need magical muscle if the supernatural are involved."

"Wonder Witch and her Furies can provide that, Rex, but the more the merrier." Some years earlier, Millie Potter was blessed by the Goddesses of Themyscira to become their Champion in the British Wizard World under the alter ego of Wonder Witch. Subsequently twelve Furies were chosen to be her army, including Wrath (Pansy), Lioness (Ginny), Protectress (Daphne), Vendetta (Tracey), Grace (Parvati) and Justice (Padma). They were an effective fighting force of enhanced sorceresses. Millie still couldn't believe that her superheroine identity was the Wizard World's top pin-up!

Back at the Castle of Mey, a steward was seeing a procession of phantom monks followed by a ghostly black hound. The piteous wails of a bean nighe (a Little Washer Woman, a type of Banshee) were heard coming from a nearby stream to add to the spookiness.

"Several new spectres, fairies, black dogs and demons all turning up at once is highly unlikely," Velma Johnson announced, outside of the large boathouse at Culver Bay in Dorset, a short walk from Kirrin Cottage and the neighbouring thatched cottage of Ian "Mac" McClaine. This was where the four yachts were kept when not in use.

"If this is a fake, somebody is overegging the pudding!" her husband agreed.

The Potters, Weasleys, Joneses, Warrenders and Johnsons, plus the rest of Mystery Inc and the Three Investigators boarded the hulking Nike (which even had a minisub, the Poseidon, hidden in a concealed airlock chamber). Dan, Mary, Bess, Kate, Anne and Catalina (alongside Francis and Dan's huge black dog Baskerville) boarded the Bonaventure and the three remaining Irregulars the Gloria Scott. Meanwhile, once the Milligans, Dana-Craigs, Scamanders and Zelena and Robyn were on board the Balaska II, Rex pulled out his mobile and pressed his right index finger to his face on a Milligan-Dana-Craig family photo that was his screen saver. From the Q-Branch Special Apps menu, he selected the remote control for the boathouse sea door. Once the four yachts were out of the house, Rex closed them remotely. "Luna, you had better get in position on deck to activate the portkey runes for instant transfer from Dorset to Caithness."

"Aye-aye, Captain Milligan, me hearty. Arrrgh!" Rex had introduced Luna to International Talk Like a Pirate Day the year before. Ever since, she would occasionally exaggerate her own Devon burr into the stereotypical Hollywood pirate brogue when at sea.

"Thank you, Luna."

Louise reached under the steering control board to flick the concealed switch to open three camouflaged control panels in the wall. One of these was the controls for the secure communication network, a second the scanning array and the third controlled the weapons systems. Linda activated the radar to confirm that there were no other vessels in the area, whilst Jean opened a satellite link to check that there were no boats near the cliffs by the Castle of Mey. This done, Luna, Millie, Ron and Anne tapped the portkey runes carved secretly into the prow of their respective yachts and intoned "Portus!"

With the yachts transported instantly from Culver Bay to the North Sea, the vessels docked as near to the Castle of Mey as they could. Staff in Land Rover Discoveries picked the detectives up from harbour and brought them to the castle.

"Well, gang, we'll split up and look for clues!"

"How about we ask where the various ghosts are supposed to have been seen first, cousin?" Fred Jones and Jupiter Jones were second cousins.

Daphne and George rolled their eyes as their fiancé and husband argued about the best way to investigate a potentially faked haunting.