"Ah, the sunshine spilling through the trees is so bright today," Mikoto declared with a blissful smile, a spring in her step as she walked alongside Kuroko.
Kuroko gave her roommate a dubious side-eye, but her friend didn't seem to notice. Instead Mikoto pulled ahead, giving a twirl of all things as she basked in the warm June weather.
"I don't wanna get sunburned," Mikoto continued, that same peaceful, serene smile spread over her lips. "But it wouldn't be summer if it wasn't so nice and hot, now would it?"
Kuroko continued to stare at her, offering up no commentary as her friend went over to fawn over a cicada husk, for some unfathomable reason. As she did that, Kuroko couldn't help but reflect over Mikoto's conduct.
She'd been acting like this all morning, since the moment they'd gotten up. Mikoto had hummed a cheerful tune as they'd gotten ready for school, and she'd been overly friendly and touchy-feely toward Kuroko herself, hugging her multiple times before they'd even left their dorm room. That alone had flustered Kuroko, though once she'd gotten over her embarrassment she'd noted just how strange and odd her friend's behavior was.
That wasn't the end of it, either. Mikoto had gushed over how good their breakfast had been, had acted sickeningly sweet toward everyone they'd ran into on the way out of the dorms—even the Dorm Supervisor!—and once they had left the dormitory, Mikoto had then suggested that they walk to Tokiwadai. Kuroko had accepted that proposal, always happy to spend more time with her crush, but during their walk, Mikoto had continued to display that off putting conduct.
Kuroko wasn't against her friend being in such a bright, cheerful mood: far from it. But it was such a huge deviation from her normal behavior that she couldn't help but feel creeped out. Not to mention that something about all of this felt achingly familiar, but Kuroko couldn't put her finger on why that was.
Idly, she considered the chance that Mikoto had been replaced by some sort of impostor. It was such a laughable idea…or should be, at least. Before her Awakening, Kuroko certainly would have dismissed the idea. But now…
Begrudgingly, she had to admit that it wasn't all that implausible. Mikoto had over ten thousand clone sisters, and she knew that at least one magic sect from South America was capable of taking on the appearance of other people. No doubt there were other magicians capable of pulling off such a feat. Plus, who knew what sort of crazy experiments were going on in the dark side of the city: maybe someone was working on making robotic imposters that could mimic or replace the Level Fives.
Come to think of it, hadn't Mikoto come home late last night? That was starting to look mighty suspicious, in hindsight. Perhaps there was a more sinister reason for it. Though…perhaps she was just getting paranoid, now. She was probably dealing with the real Mikoto Misaka.
But maybe she should make sure?
"Mikoto…" Kuroko spoke up, giving her roommate a suspicious look. "You wore Gekota character print underwear the day before yesterday, didn't you?"
Mikoto froze where she was, a rapid blush breaking out across her face as she stared at her in blatant shock. "Wh-why do you know that?!"
Ah, excellent! She was dealing with the genuine article. Only the real Mikoto Misaka would admit to wearing such childish panties. Kuroko breathed a sigh of relief, happy to have that little dilemma solved.
"Good, good. You had me worried there for a second," she declared, giving her roommate a bright smile.
"H-Hey! Don't just ignore my question like that! Why did you know that?!" Mikoto thundered, a spark of electricity leaping from her forehead. At the same time, she stomped her foot against the ground, glaring at her fiercely.
Kuroko rolled her eyes and gave Mikoto a disdainful look. "How could I not know that? You left your pajamas just sitting on the floor while we got ready for school yesterday. And when I glanced at them, I just so happened to see your Gekota panties sticking out from the waistband of your discarded pajama bottoms."
Mikoto flinched back, a pained gasp escaping her lips. She looked away sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head. "Oh. R-right. Sorry…"
"Honestly, I've been meaning to talk with you about this," Kuroko continued, giving a disappointed sigh. "I never imagined you could be such a slob. Leaving your dirty clothes on the floor like that is disgusting and completely unbecoming of a proper young lady of Tokiwadai. Or, really, any young woman at all. You're lucky that…"
Kuroko trailed off, making a face as she considered the personality of her old self. Her own understanding of both Kuroko Shirai and the future that could have been gave her a clear idea on just what her old persona would have done with any discarded clothes from Mikoto Misaka.
She rarely if ever thought this way, but…if there was any good that had come from this entire mess, it was that the obsessive nature of Kuroko Shirai had been curtailed by the memories of her first life. The very idea of copying that inappropriate behavior filled her with mortified dread. In fact, Kuroko was certain that if she ever did reproduce such conduct, even if by accident, she'd immediately schedule an appointment between her forehead and the nearest wall.
Even in a messed up situation like this, she supposed there could be a silver lining.
"At any rate," she moved on, giving Mikoto a stern look. "Your behavior as a proper young woman needs some substantial improvement. It isn't just leaving your clothes around, you know. I've caught you falling asleep in the shower, you aren't all that tidy when it comes to putting your Gekota collection away each night—which means I inevitably step on them, and let me tell you that those stupid badges of yours hurt—and then there's the fact that you just love to read manga at the convenience stores, which is just so rude, especially when you don't buy them! And—!"
"Alright, jeez, I get it!" Mikoto retorted, giving an annoyed groan. She grumbled under her breath, "Ugh, it's like Kiyoshi all over again…"
The name tingled something in the back of Kuroko's head, but she decided to ignore it for the time being. Instead, she gave her own dramatic sigh and shook her head in dismay.
"And then there's the fact that you insist on wearing those stupid, childish shorts under your skirt," she said. "How the Dorm Supervisor hasn't gotten on you about that, I'll never understand."
"H-Hey! Don't bring my shorts into this! It's not my fault the Tokiwadai skirts are so ridiculously small," Mikoto retorted, glaring at her again. "Besides, it's not unusual to do something like this! There was a senior at our school who did the exact same thing!"
Ah, and now Mikoto was making up nonexistent students to justify her fashion choices. What a sad, pathetic state the Railgun had been reduced to. Kuroko had seen no other girls who wore shorts under their skirts at Tokiwadai, so unless this hypothetical senior had already graduated, then it seemed far more likely that Mikoto was making her up. Such a sad state of affairs, that was.
"I'm sure there was," Kuroko finally said, her voice dripping with doubt. "And what was the name of this senior again?"
"Ruri-senpai! Well, her full name was Rurikakesu Shin'enkouji. She was a member of Judgment, too! But, she graduated this year, so you probably wouldn't have met her," Mikoto replied.
"Uh huh," Kuroko said, raising an eyebrow. "And do you happen to know what high school she goes to now?"
"W-Well, I think she left the City, actually. Apparently she was a princess from the South European Principality of Platinumarea," she declared, giving a sheepish smile. "Come to think, she also said she was using an alias while here, so…I don't actually know her real name…"
"Uh huh," Kuroko repeated, her voice thick with disbelief.
Mikoto's eyes widened in alarm and she started waving her hands hastily. "W-Wait! I know how that sounds, but it's true! Honest! Ruri-senpai was a real distinctive girl too, you'd recognize her the moment you saw her! She has dark skin, strawberry blonde hair, a-and she never wore a bra!"
"Wait, she never wore a bra? And the Dorm Supervisor, or literally any of the teachers at school, never got on her case about that?" Kuroko pushed back with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, well, I guess…I never thought about that too hard," Mikoto muttered, a flicker of uncertainty crossing her features. "But, um, that doesn't matter! Look, she's real, and she wore shorts just like I do!"
Kuroko stared at her friend for a long moment, before granting her a beatific smile.
"Don't worry Mikoto, I believe you," she lied as easily as she breathed.
Mikoto flinched backwards, easily catching her deception. She held a hand to her forehead, grumbling softly under her breath as Kuroko watched her.
Whatever the case was with Mikoto and her imaginary friend, Kuroko would be the first to admit that the Tokiwadai skirts were sinfully short. Far shorter than Kuroko herself was now comfortable with, in fact. The skirt length hadn't bothered her when she'd first enrolled, but after the emergence of her old memories, things had changed.
Indeed, Kuroko would be lying if she said that some part of her wasn't envious about Mikoto's modesty shorts. And when she'd first started attending classes after her Awakening, that same part of her had been tempted to copy Mikoto's fashion choice. But, between her stubborn pride and her desire to be seen as a proper young adult, Kuroko had ultimately given up on that idea.
She could admit as much to Mikoto, in an effort to mollify her own sour feelings on the discussion. But that would be admitting weakness, and Kuroko would sooner die than display any signs of weakness, even to her friends. Especially to her friends.
"Whatever! Why are we even talking about this in the first place?" Mikoto finally retorted, giving her another grumpy glare. "Wh-why did you ask me about what underwear I wore?!"
"Well," Kuroko paused, considering how she wanted to phrase this. "It's just, you've been acting a little…unusual this morning. So much so that I wondered if you were an impostor, or something. Of course, that was just a silly suspicion on my part."
Mikoto's face flickered into a sheepish, self-conscious expression in response. She looked off to the side, rubbing the back of her head a second time.
"Was I really acting that odd? Sorry. I guess my dinner with Momma put me in a good mood and all," she finally said, still looking away from her.
Kuroko frowned, taking note of Mikoto's reaction. Before she could mull it over, however, her roommate spoke up.
"Say, Kuroko. What would you do if…"
She trailed off, a troubled look flashing over her face.
"If what?" Kuroko pressed, looking at her with concern.
What was going on with her now?
Mikoto shook her head a moment later, as if shaking something off. "Sorry, um, forget it. It's nothing."
Then, as if a switch had been flipped, Mikoto grinned and gave Kuroko a teasing smirk.
"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. See, when you asked me to bring one of your writing journals while you were at the hospital, well…you didn't tell me where it was. So I looked in your closet, and I did find them there…along with some other stuff."
The hairs on the back of Kuroko's neck stood straight up, and a chill went down her spine.
"A-And what exactly did you find?" Kuroko asked, giving her friend a nervous smile.
Mikoto gave a snicker, and Kuroko felt her heart sink.
"I have to say, I never imagined you'd be the type to wear all those adult nightgowns and dresses," Mikoto declared, giving her a smug smirk. "I'm guessing there's a story behind that, huh?"
Kuroko gave a dismayed groan and hid her face behind her hands. Oh God, why hadn't she put a padlock on the Forbidden Drawer?!
"Those are…I-I got them during a different time in my life!" she insisted, giving Mikoto a flushed glare. "I-I bought some of them when I was trying to be more, um, more…you know! B-But, I feel entirely differently about them now! I-I'm not some sort of weird girl, I swear!"
"Hey, I believe you," Mikoto assured her, giving another amused giggle. "I thought that might be the case, or something, since I've never seen you wearing any of them. Don't think I've met many girls who go through a phase like that, though."
Kuroko groaned again, doing her best to fight back a massive blush. It was bad enough that there were stores in Academy City that sold such things to children! Honestly, she couldn't imagine how Kuroko Shirai could have ever considered buying any of them, let alone wearing some of them to bed. Christ, she needed to get rid of those age-inappropriate clothes already, and prevent misunderstandings like that from happening again.
Although, some dresses would be easier to get rid of than others…
"Truth be told," Kuroko admitted a moment later, giving an embarrassed sigh. "Some of those are gifts from my mother."
"Huh? Really?" Mikoto asked in a surprised tone.
"Yes. She's a fashion designer, actually. My family's company owns a chain of high fashion boutiques, and my mother runs the whole department in charge of them," Kuroko explained. "And some of the…adult outfits I own happen to be gifts from her."
And that had been an interesting fact to contend with. In fact, it explained so much of Kuroko Shirai's unique fashion tastes. Kuroko had vivid memories of playing dress up with her mother, and otherwise helping to model her latest brand of clothes. Even after moving to Academy City, her mother had often sent her new clothes to try out and give her feedback on. So clearly, that early exposure to high fashion had played a part in Kuroko Shirai's later inclinations and overall tastes in clothing.
Though she found herself baffled that such a thing had been indulged by her mother in the first place. What sort of parent freely gave her underage daughter such inappropriate clothes?!
Ugh, she was better off not thinking too hard about it. Point of the matter was, Kuroko still had mixed feelings toward her parents, given the memories of her first set of caretakers in her other life. Comparing and contrasting the two sets of parental units had brought her nothing but discomfort, so Kuroko had done her best not to dwell on either of them.
"Huh. Well, I can see why you'd still wanna keep them. I find it hard to get rid of anything my Momma gives me, even when it's embarrassing or not my style," Mikoto commiserated, giving her a smile.
"R-Right," Kuroko murmured, looking away with a blush.
She cleared her throat a moment later, trying to shift topics as she said, "Oh, by the way: are you free tomorrow afternoon? I'm gonna be busy after school today, but I'll be free to hang out tomorrow, if you'd like. Perhaps at my Judgment branch office?"
"Sure! I should be free," Mikoto confirmed, flashing her a brilliant smile. "Sounds like a plan to me."
"G-Good," Kuroko replied, her blush intensifying as she felt her heart hammer in her chest.
Excellent! Operation: Mikoto Misaka's Surprise Birthday Bash was a go! Now she just needed to extend the necessary invitations, purchase her gifts for Mikoto, and bake Mikoto's cake with Saten later this afternoon. If all went well, she'd be able to pull off a great surprise birthday party!
Now, just what would she get Mikoto for her birthday? Kuroko was fairly certain her friend would appreciate anything she'd get for her, but she wanted her gift to be something special, something she'd really love. Perhaps she ought to enlist Junko's help? As another Gekota fanatic, she might have a good idea for a Gekota themed birthday gift for her roommate. Hm, yes, that seemed like the right move. Perhaps during lunch, she'd track her down.
Pleased with that idea, Kuroko couldn't help but chuckle to herself. She ignored the curious look her friend sent her way, and instead focused on their walk to school, moving a little faster so they'd arrive on time.
From there, they arrived at Tokiwadai, just barely beating the morning bell. Kuroko settled into her classes thereafter, doing her best to pay attention. After what felt like an eternity, the lunch bell finally rang and Kuroko was freed from her schoolwork.
She eagerly fled her classroom, making a beeline toward the clubroom used by the Shokuhou Clique. She'd already texted Junko about meeting up for lunch, and from there had been invited to eat with her, Kobayashi, and Misaki in the club room. So, when Kuroko opened up the door to the clubroom, she was understandably disappointed when she only saw Misaki Shokuhou sitting inside.
"Ah, Shirai~! How lovely to see you again," Misaki practically purred, staring over at her with a smug smile. "Junko told me you wanted to join us for lunch. That eager to see me, huh?"
"No, actually. Despite what your inflated ego might think, I was just here to talk with Junko," Kuroko immediately denied, giving her a disdainful glare.
Misaki pursed her lips into a frown, crossing her arms as she huffed at her. With a hint of jealousy in her tone, she asked, "Really now? Whatever for?"
Kuroko rolled her eyes and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. She swiftly approached Misaki, moving to join her on the couch she was planted on. Though instead of sitting next to her, she decided to lay herself down, flopping down onto the couch and resting her head on Misaki's lap.
"I just wanted her advice on something personal," she said, staring up at Misaki. "Something that only she could help me with. Though I suppose it isn't too bad that I also get to hang out with you, as a result."
Misaki froze for a few brief moments, shock written clear across her face. Just as quickly, though, she smoothed out her features and reached down to start stroking her hair.
In a much more content tone of voice she remarked, "So I see. Well, I suppose I won't fault you for that. Junko can be quite the helpful friend, so I don't mind you relying on her."
A moment of silence passed between them, Kuroko closing her eyes as she let herself enjoy the moment. She was brought back to the present, however, as Misaki spoke up.
"You sure were quick to make yourself at home," she said, an amused tinge to her tone. "That eager to rest on my lap?"
"Hey, it was there, and more comfortable for me than resting my head on one of the lumpy couch pillows," Kuroko flippantly replied, opening one eye to stare up at her. "If you'd like to file a complaint, you can call 1-800-Go Fuck Yourself."
Shokuhou snorted and reached down, flicking her forehead with a gloved finger. "Such foul language! It's really unbecoming of you, Shirai."
"Bite me," Kuroko gladly replied, giving her a fanged grin. "And yes, I'm aware of the issue. But, frankly, I don't give a damn. Blame the American in me if you want. Besides, if I have to be a kid again, then I'm not putting a filter back on this mouth of mine."
"I think you've made that very clear already," Shokuhou dryly noted.
Kuroko rolled her eyes, though she didn't get a chance to do much beyond that. Shokuhou spoke up again, a smirk resting on her lips as she said,
"Speaking of filters, perhaps you should watch what you say. Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you confessed to me last night~!"
She raised an eyebrow at that, her curiosity piqued. "Oh? What makes you say that?"
"Well," Misaki stared down at her with an amused smile. "The way you talked to me, the things you said…you called me your prince, after all! Such romantic language. If I didn't know you any better, I might think you were trying to confess your love~! Unless, you do have a crush on me, Shirai? In which case, I'd be oh so very flattered~!"
She said all of that with her signature, teasing tone, but something about it was…different. Kuroko couldn't quite put her finger on why, but it just felt weird. Something about her tone of voice, maybe? Almost like Shokuhou expected her to say yes, or something.
Ha! As if she'd fall for such an easy trap.
"Oh please, I do not have a crush on you. Don't let your inflated ego trick you into seeing things that aren't there," Kuroko denied, rolling her eyes again.
Despite her denial, though, she felt a small flutter in her chest at the idea of it.
"Besides," she went on, trying to push past that odd feeling. "You could do a lot better than me. You're Misaki Shokuhou, after all. There are plenty of boys, and girls, who'd make a far better and worthier partner for you than I."
Shokuhou pursed her lips into a frown, not liking that at all. With a touch of concern in her tone, she said, "Now Shirai, you really shouldn't put yourself down like that. You'd make a lovely girlfriend, I'm absolutely sure of that. You might not feel that way, but it's the truth."
Kuroko gave a noncommittal grunt, a scowl marring her features. She grumbled under her breath, "It's not like I'll be around long enough for it to even matter. I'll be lucky to live through the end of the year, with all the shit heading toward Academy City…"
"Hey now, I won't tolerate you talking like that!" Misaki sternly interjected, reaching down to flick her forehead again, this time much more harshly.
Kuroko flinched and grumbled again at the sudden pain. She hardly had any time to adjust to it, however, before she felt Misaki grab her by her armpits and lift her up. Kuroko found herself brought face to face with Misaki's starry eyes, her legs now straddling her friend's waist.
"You, Kuroko Shirai, are going to live a long and happy life!" Misaki declared in an authoritative tone. "You'll enjoy your youth here in Academy City, make tons of friends, and find fulfillment here! So I don't want to hear any fatalistic talk like that. Okay?"
Kuroko looked off to the side, before issuing a small sigh. She wasn't sure she could make herself believe Misaki's simplistic statement, but it was a sweet sentiment all the same. It made her feel glad, but also incredibly guilty, that Misaki would fret over her like this.
Honestly, she didn't deserve such a good friend like her.
She pressed herself against Misaki, hugging her and placing her head against her shoulder.
"Sorry, onee-sama," Kuroko murmured. "I didn't mean to worry you."
Misaki hugged her back, her gloved hands softly rubbing against her back. "Hey, you're fine. Just make sure you remember what I told you next time you think that, yeah?"
Kuroko nodded dimly, pressing herself harder against her friend in response. Misaki held onto her the entire time.
They stayed like this for a little while, Kuroko taking some small comfort from the warmth and closeness of her best friend. Then—
"What are you two doing?"
—The moment was interrupted with the opening of a door, a shocked gasp, and Kobayashi's stern words.
Misaki froze, her eyes growing wide while a crimson flush bathed her face. Then, before Kuroko could react, Misaki hastily shoved her off of her lap, sending her tumbling to the floor.
Kuroko landed with a thud, falling square on her butt. She let out a hiss of pain, rubbing at her now bruised and sore rear. At the same time, she leveled an unamused stare at the suddenly flustered girl above her.
"Kobayashiiii, Shokuhou's being mean to me," Kuroko whined in a bratty tone, glaring again at the girl in question.
"S-Sorry, I don't know what came over me," Shokuhou hastily apologized, blushing even harder.
She leaned down, helping Kuroko back up to her feet—and Kuroko proceeded to reclaim her seat on Shokuhou's lap before she could get a word of protest in, a spiteful glimmer shining in her eyes. Kuroko sat in her lap sideways, curling an arm around Shokuhou's back to stabilize herself as she settled against her.
For some reason, that caused Misaki to give a dismayed groan as she hid her face behind her hands.
"Shokuhou and I were just hanging out," Kuroko said, giving an answer to Kobayashi's earlier question. She turned her gaze over toward her, noticing that Junko was also with her, staring at them both with a surprised look.
"I…see…" Kobayashi slowly replied, making a series of faces. She stared straight at Misaki, her eyes narrowing before she turned her gaze back to Kuroko. "Ah, sorry, can I have a moment with the Queen?"
Kuroko shrugged and hopped off of Misaki. Kobayashi wasted little time in marching over, snatching Misaki's wrist and hauling her up. She marched them both over to the corner of the club room, Kuroko already able to hear snatches of their whispered conversation.
"What—that?! Why was Shirai—? Are you two—ating or something?! If you're not, then—the rumors, Queen! You're not helping—umors at all!"
"No, of course not! Shirai's—fectionate. That's all there is! And I am fully aware of the—thank you very much!"
"Queen, I can—your mind. There's something—so spill!"
Kuroko was distracted from any further eavesdropping, however, as Junko stepped forward and spoke up.
"So, you wanted to talk with me?"
"Oh, yes!" Kuroko turned her full attention to Junko and gave a nod. "You see, I'm planning a surprise birthday party for Mikoto, and I wanted some advice for a Gekota-themed present for her."
"Oh?" Junko questioned, delighted surprise ringing clear in her tone. "Well, you've come to the right person, Kuroko! I had thought that Miss Misaka was a fellow Gekoer! It's so splendid to have that confirmed. Now, let's see. A gift, a gift…"
Junko hummed to herself, her eyes closed in thought as she mulled over the question.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. She gave an eager smile and proclaimed, "I have the perfect idea in mind! I have a rare mail order limited edition Gekota strap from this year's M-fes! Well, I have two to be exact. I can give you one of them, and then you can gift that to Misaka!"
"You sure?" Kuroko asked, surprised by the offer. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience you or anything."
"No, no, it's fine! I don't mind at all!" Junko was quick to assure.
Kuroko smiled gratefully in reply, though she didn't get a chance to say or do anything else. Almost immediately, Misaki walked back over to them, Kobayashi trailing behind her.
"What's this about a birthday party for Misaka?" she inquired in a stern tone, crossing her arms.
Kuroko rolled her eyes and turned to face Misaki. "Like I said, I'm planning a surprise birthday party for Mikoto. Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Onee-sama."
Kobayashi let out a small gasp, stunned at that unexpected term of endearment. Neither Kuroko nor Shokuhou paid her much attention, however, with Shokuhou instead making a noise of disapproval.
"Is that so? Well, isn't she lucky," she grumbled in a mullish tone.
Kuroko raised an eyebrow at her. What was up with her now? Was she getting riled up over her general rivalry with Mikoto, or was it something else? Hm, maybe she was jealous? But why would she be jealous about—
Ah. Well, that seemed incredibly childish of her, but Kuroko was used to such behavior from the supposedly mature Queen of Tokiwadai.
"What, do you want me to throw a surprise party too when it's your birthday?" Kuroko guessed, shaking her head in disbelief. "I mean, it goes without saying that of course I'd do that for you, Onee-sama. So no need to get mad about me doing it for Mikoto now."
Shokuhou blinked rapidly, clearly not expecting that sort of reply. A blush rose to her cheeks, and she looked away with an embarrassed stammer. "Oh, um, well, good! That's good to know!"
A moment of awkward silence passed after that, with Misaki suddenly clamming up as she pointedly stared in another direction. Kuroko found herself puzzled by such bizarre behavior, so she looked over to Kobayashi for an explanation: but she wasn't paying attention to either of them, and was instead pinching the bridge of her nose and mumbling something to herself.
"Oh, Queen! We should come to the party too!" Junko excitedly interjected, a hopeful look in her eyes. "I'd love to get Misaka something. And I'm sure she'd appreciate a gift from you as well!"
Misaki made a face, clearly less than enthused at the idea. But one look at Junko's puppy-dog eyes broke her resolve. She gave an aggravated sigh and said, "Fine, fine. We can stop by for a few minutes, I suppose. Can you text me the details, Shirai?"
Kuroko nodded, making a mental note to do just that when she had a free moment.
"Splendid! In that case, shall we enjoy lunch together?" Junko suggested brightly.
Everyone could agree with that, and soon enough Kuroko found herself sitting down with the other girls to eat. The rest of the lunch period passed by peacefully, and soon after that Kuroko returned to her classes.
Though not before leaving with Junko to go grab that Gekota strap from her dorm. Kuroko would be damned if she let herself forget something as important as actually grabbing her best friend's birthday gift!
The rest of her classes at Tokiwadai passed by quickly, and the moment school let out, Kuroko left the campus. She was off Judgment duties for the day, so she made an immediate beeline to Ruiko Saten's apartment. The journey took twenty minutes to complete, and Kuroko spent the entire time buzzing with nervous anticipation.
It'd be her first time ever going to another friend's apartment, not counting Uiharu. And to think she'd have a momentous occasion like that with Saten, of all people! Kuroko might have guessed Rakko would have been first, given how eager the girl was for her to come over at some point: though their schedules had yet to work out for that to happen.
She just hoped she didn't make a fool of herself: Saten was one girl she didn't want to turn off or disappoint. Kuroko had always admired Saten's easy-going nature and casual confidence in her other life, and that admiration had followed her here as well. Not to mention how pretty she was! Ah, if only Kuroko could be a tenth as beautiful as Ruiko Saten was…
Such thoughts plagued her as she finally made it to her friend's apartment. She knocked on the front door, waiting there patiently. Saten opened it up a moment later, beaming at her with a wide grin.
Kuroko took a moment to admire Saten's outfit, finding it jarring to see her out of her school uniform. She was wearing a white jacket with red stripes and a green undershirt beneath it, a pair of dark green cargo shorts, and a red belt over her waist. Overall, a rather pretty ensemble for her, though it felt to her that Saten could make any outfit work.
"Shirai! So good to see you!" Saten welcomed her before stepping aside. "Please, come in! Make yourself at home!"
Kuroko smiled at her in response and walked inside, idly looking around as she did so. The apartment entryway opened up into a small hallway that led into Saten's bedroom. Along the western and eastern walls of the bedroom, a set of closed doors could be seen, though both were closed at the moment. The bedroom area itself was well furnished with a bed pressed against the northern wall, with a green comforter over the mattress. Adjacent to the bed was a bookshelf and a study desk, both pressed up against each other the former of which was fully stocked with books, binders, a potted plant, and all sorts of other knick knacks; meanwhile across from the bed, was a tv stand and adjoining shelf that housed Saten's tv and some more books. Finally in the center of the room sat a small, modest table.
"The bathroom is to the right, and the door to the left leads to the kitchen!" Saten helpfully informed her.
Kuroko nodded, setting her school bag down on the floor. "Thank you for having me over, Saten. And thanks for offering to use your kitchen for baking Mikoto's cake, I deeply appreciate it."
"You're welcome! And believe me, it's no trouble at all!" Saten brightly declared. "Now, are you ready to get started?
Kuroko nodded, watching as Saten disappeared into the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a pair of aprons, one blue with white stripes and one yellow with splashes of orange, and handed one to Kuroko.
"Great! Then let's get to it!" Saten declared.
Kuroko grinned eagerly, slipping off her summer sweater vest and putting on the yellow apron. She joined Saten in the kitchen a moment later, following her instructions carefully as she guided her on how to make a homemade cake.
They worked diligently at it for some time, until finally it was ready to go into the oven. Once it was in, Saten set the timer. They both leaned back afterward, casually watching the cake through the small observation window in the oven.
All they had to do now was wait for it to bake.
"So," Saten spoke up, glancing at her with a smile. "How are the party preparations going on your end?"
"Ah, they're going well, thankfully. Konori gave me permission to use the Judgment branch office for the party itself, and Mikoto's free tomorrow. I've also sent out invites to everyone I can think of, so we'll have plenty of company," Kuroko reported, giving a satisfied sigh.
"Great! I got plenty of supplies and snacks to last us for the party, too. Also got my gift for Misaka, so that's taken care of!" Saten enthused, pumping her fist. "Man, this is going to be awesome! I can't wait!"
Kuroko giggled at her enthusiasm. "Well, I'm glad to see you're excited for this. I just hope Mikoto enjoys it."
"Oh, I'm sure she'll love it! Who doesn't like a good surprise party?" Saten argued, reaching over to pat her shoulder.
Kuroko smiled, leaning into Saten's touch as she sighed. "Thanks again for helping me out: you're a life-saver, Saten. I really do appreciate it."
"Hey, it's no trouble at all, like I said! I'm happy to help a friend!" she replied. She cocked her head and asked a moment later, "Although…I am a little curious. Couldn't you have baked a cake back at your dorm? I imagine you must have a much fancier kitchen there, compared to mine."
"True, I could have. But privacy, or the lack of it, would have been a concern," Kuroko confessed with a wry smirk.
"Ah, right, right. Bet you'd get a lot of spies checking you out, if you worked on it in a communal kitchen," Saten giggled. "And wouldn't that ruin the surprise!"
"Exactly! Ugh, and who knows what sort of weird rumors would have spread from there," Kuroko groaned, shaking her head. "Honestly, the girls at Tokiwadai are way too excited to gossip. Especially when it comes to the Level Fives."
Saten cocked her head, a mischievous grin flashing over her features. "Like that rumor about the Black Hearted Casanova?"
"Yes, exactly! Ugh, Tokiwadai's classy exterior hides just how many strange and perverted girls go there," Kuroko bemoaned, shaking her head. "Sometimes it feels like I'm the only ordinary person at that school."
Saten let out a little snicker of amusement, hiding her mouth behind her hand. "Really? Misaka strikes me as a pretty regular girl."
"True…but then you have to consider her Gekota obsession," Kuroko pointed out with a dismayed sigh. "And then there's the fact that she can be such a slob. Honestly, she's less put together in some areas than her appearance and demeanor would suggest."
"Wow, I wanna hear all about that!" Saten declared, her eyes sparkling with delight. "Although…I have to ask. Are you really so normal in comparison, Shirai?"
"I don't know what you're implying. Despite whatever Uiharu may have told you, I am a perfectly ordinary and mature young lady!" Kuroko insisted, crossing her arms.
"Well, if you say so, Shirai. But you seem like a pretty unique girl to me. Not everyone has wild rumors about their love life going around!" Saten declared with a beaming grin.
"Hm?" Kuroko tilted her head, her brows furrowed. "I beg your pardon, I'm not sure what you mean."
Saten opened her mouth, but just as quickly she closed it shut. A thoughtful look flashed over her face, as she gave Kuroko a speculative stare.
"Do you really not know?" she questioned. "I mean, is it not obvious to you? I kinda thought you were just pretending to be ignorant yesterday."
Kuroko stared blankly at her in response. "Saten, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You know. You, and the Casanova…?" Saten elaborated. "I mean. Isn't it pretty obvious that you're supposed to be the Blackhearted Casanova?"
Kuroko blinked rapidly, not expecting a wild question like that. And after her immediate disbelief passed—
She couldn't help it: she just started laughing, breaking out into a series of mad giggles.
"Really, Saten? Me? As the Blackhearted Casanova?" Kuroko chortled. "Wow, it's been awhile since I heard something as ridiculous as that!"
Saten raised an eyebrow at her, though she said nothing else as she waited for her giggles to die down. Once they had, Saten granted her a teasing smirk and asked,
"So, does that mean you don't have a crush on Misaka?"
Kuroko flinched, her cheeks burning red from her friend's question. She looked away bashfully, twirling a lock of her hair with a finger. "Ah…Uiharu told you about that, did she?"
"Yup!" Saten cheerfully confirmed. Then with a mischievous grin she added, "Plus, you aren't all that subtle about it. I mean, the fact that Misaka was the only one of us you didn't kiss back at the mall was kind of a red flag in and of itself."
"Hey! Y-You promised you wouldn't bring that up again!" Kuroko whined, stomping her foot and glaring at her.
"Sorry, sorry!" Saten laughed, waving her hands in a placating manner. "But, you get what I mean, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," Kuroko grumbled, crossing her arms. She sighed a moment later and admitted, "I…yes, I do have a crush on Mikoto. Though I'm not doing this just to curry favor with her, you know. I just wanna be a good friend to her."
"Hey, you don't have to justify yourself! I totally get it. I'd do the same thing for Uiharu," Saten freely admitted, leaning back against her kitchen counter.
Kuroko gave a small snort and shook her head. "With the precedent I'm setting, I think we will have to do it for her. Her, and every other girl in our friend group."
"Ooh, does that mean I'm gonna get my own surprise birthday party?" Saten inquired eagerly.
"Maybe if you stop teasing me, you'll get one," Kuroko shot back, sticking her tongue out at her.
"Ha, fair enough!" her friend snickered, giving her an easy-going smile.
A moment of silence lapsed between them after that, and Kuroko turned her attention back to the oven, her eyes glancing at the timer. They still had some time to kill before the cake was done, it seemed.
"So," Saten suddenly said, her teasing tone sending a chill down Kuroko's spine. "Do you happen to like any other girls? Besides Misaka?"
Apropos of nothing, a certain blonde flashed through Kuroko's mind. Just as quickly, she ruthlessly squashed that errant thought, while her cheeks burned even hotter.
"I-I don't know what you mean!" she snapped, puffing out her cheeks as she pouted. For good measure, she turned around in protest, huffing as Saten snickered behind her.
"Oh, you know! I mean, people are allowed to have more than one crush," Saten declared, giving her a fiendish grin. She leaned in closer to Kuroko, grabbing her shoulders as she whispered in her ear.
"You can tell me~! I can keep a secret! Come on! Do you have a crush on Yumiya? Kongou? Maybe even Uiharu~!"
Kuroko shivered at her teasing touch, while her face grew all the redder. The mention of Uiharu's name sent some nervous flutters through her stomach, and Kuroko quickly shook her head.
"I do not feel that way around Uiharu! W-We're just close friends, that's it! Sure, maybe I like to stay close to her, and hold her hand, and sometimes I like the smell of her shampoo, but that's just how close friends are!" she babbled, not even paying attention to what she was saying.
Saten remained quiet behind her, and Kuroko took that opportunity to turn around. Still pouting at her, she lashed out with her hand, prodding her friend in the stomach. "Honestly, Saten, I don't see why you're so invested in my love life all of a sudden!"
Saten stared back at her, her brows raised in surprise. After a few seconds, a smirk graced her lips.
"You really can't hold back when you're nervous, huh?" she mused, giving a snicker.
"I-I have no idea what you mean," Kuroko huffed, failing to see how such an observation was relevant.
"As for why I'm so interested," Saten hummed, moving on. "Well…I guess I just want to see you succeed! Whoever you end up dating, whether it be Misaka, or…someone else, well, I just want to see you happy! Isn't that enough?"
If it were possible, Kuroko felt herself blushing even harder. She didn't expect such an earnest response from Saten, so she could only stare at her friend, her mouth left open like a gaping fish.
"Uh, well, um…thanks?" Kuroko stammered out, feeling rather self-conscious. She looked away nervously, adding, "I appreciate that."
"You're welcome!" Saten happily replied, giving Kuroko a smile that sent an odd tingle through her body.
Kuroko felt her heart beating fast inside of her chest, her blush deepening despite her best efforts. Ugh, now Saten had her all flustered and jittery! That wasn't fair! It wasn't her fault that she wasn't prepared for such caring honesty!
"That does make me wonder though," Saten spoke up, bringing Kuroko's attention back to her. "What's your plan with Misaka, anyway? Have you thought about how you'd confess to her?"
"C-Confess?!" Kuroko stuttered, her voice rising an octave. "I don't have any plans to confess!"
Saten blinked and gave her a quizzical look. "So, what then? You're just gonna pine after her for all of middle school, and never say anything? And if you never make your feelings clear, well, who's to say Misaka won't fall for someone else?"
Kuroko flinched back, giving a pained gasp in reply. She grimaced and looked down at her feet awkwardly. "Ah…good point. I, um, I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead…"
Hell, who even knew if she'd be alive at the end of middle school, let alone the end of the year? But this time at least, Kuroko was wise enough to keep that opinion to herself.
But Saten had a pretty good point: with how dense her best friend could be, Kuroko seriously doubted Mikoto would ever see her in a romantic light, not without her being aware of her feelings, at least. So if she never made her feelings clear, it was only inevitable that Mikoto would fall for someone else. And such a possibility made her want to bash her head against a wall.
Not because she hated the idea of Mikoto loving another person: it would hurt, sure, but she could live with that. But it was the knowledge of who that person would be that filled her with unyielding rage.
Like hell she was going to lose Mikoto to that damned, spikey-haired troglodyte! Touma Kamijou already had plenty of girls pining after him, or would soon enough. Mikoto didn't have to be one of them! Hell, she'd somehow managed to wrestle her onee-sama away from his orbit, so Kuroko would be damned if Mikoto still fell under his sway!
"I swear by all that's holy, that troglodyte better not come anywhere near my Mikoto!" Kuroko seethed, utterly lost to her own thoughts. The fires of passion shone brightly in her eyes, her fury-fueled vow etching itself deep into her heart.
A moment of silence passed following her sudden declaration. Then:
"I'm sorry, what?" Saten interjected, clearly lost.
And just like that, the spell had been broken. Kuroko shook her head, abruptly returning to reality. Her cheeks flared with renewed embarrassment, and she shyly looked away from Saten again.
She cleared her throat, trying to push past her slip up. "Ah, I mean, I…well, I didn't really have any concrete plans on how to confess to Mikoto. Honestly, it seemed so scary that I kinda just didn't think about it."
Saten nodded sagely in response, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, I get that. It can be pretty terrifying to confess to a crush, especially when you're both already friends."
Another moment of silence descended between them, as Kuroko and Saten both mulled over her dilemma.
"Aha!" her friend's eyes lit up, and she struck her fist against her open palm. "I got it! Why don't you practice with me, Shirai?"
"Pardon?" Kuroko questioned, tilting her head.
"Yeah, yeah!" Saten nodded eagerly, taken with her own idea. "Just practice with me! You can pretend I'm Misaka, and confess to me. That way you can be prepared when you're actually ready to do it!"
Kuroko raised an eyebrow, not quite certain of that proposal. Saten was quick to allay her concerns, however.
"Come on, what's the harm? Just speak from the heart, and go from there. And this way, you can figure out what feels right and what works, and be ready to give Misaka the best confession you can give!"
Kuroko hummed to herself, slowly coming around to the logic of her proposal. Getting some practice in wasn't a bad idea, especially with someone as friendly as Saten to give her some feedback. Better her than someone like Shokuhou, for that matter. Kuroko just knew Shokuhou would tease her endlessly if she tried something like this with her.
Besides, it was at least a way to pass the time.
"Alright. Let me think…" Kuroko said, closing her eyes.
She took in a deep breath, doing her best to center herself. At the same time she tried to draw upon the experiences of two lives, scant as they might have been, for her ideal confession. Once she felt sufficiently ready, Kuroko opened her eyes and stared straight at Saten.
"I love you," she declared, speaking in a light, heartfelt tone.
Almost immediately Kuroko paused, feeling a flare of self-consciousness. But Saten smiled cheerily at her, eagerly gesturing for her to continue. With her encouragement Kuroko did just that, taking another calming breath as she went on with her confession.
"I love you," she repeated, giving Saten a warm smile. "I have for a long time now, you know? It's a little embarrassing, but…it's the truth. God, it feels so liberating to say that! I love you, Mikoto Misaka, and I love everything about you. I've found myself captivated by…everything about you. Your kind, generous nature; your confident, friendly demeanor; the way you style your cute black hair. I love everything about you."
Saten furrowed her brows at her choice of words; however, Kuroko paid it little mind. Instead, she found herself getting entirely caught up in her pretend confession, a surge of confidence pushing her forward as she went on.
"You've always made me feel safe and loved, whole and happy, more than anyone else in my life. You mean the absolute world to me. You've comforted me when I've been scared, when I've been at my lowest, and I'm just so grateful. Then there's the fact that you've helped me grow so much, and improve myself in so many ways. You've also been a great friend to me, and even when we don't get along, you're still willing to put up with me. That means so much to me, you know?"
Kuroko slowly approached Saten, reaching over to lightly touch her forearm. Saten blushed at the sudden contact, and instinctively walked back. Kuroko followed her, unintentionally pining Saten against the wall of her kitchen as she finally cornered her friend. Kuroko stared warmly at her the entire time, grabbing Saten's wrist and bringing her hand up to kiss the back of it.
Saten gave a small squeak of surprise and her entire face flushed red. But again, Kuroko didn't pay any attention to it. Her confidence was at its peak now, and she wasn't about to stop.
"You're so impressive, too. It's hard not to admire you. The way you can take charge in any given situation, the way you help people out so earnestly, even when it means risking your own life. And your confidence! I wish I could be a tenth as cool as you are. I wish I could be as much of a good person as you are."
Kuroko gave a soft sigh, pressing another absent kiss against Saten's hand.
"It's funny; this all started out as a simple crush, but I think it's become so much more than that. Every time I'm with you, I have to find some sort of excuse to get close with you, to touch you. It might be selfish to say, but doing that makes me so happy. And that makes me happy because…you are the light of my life. You're the reason I'm able to wake up everyday and be the best person that I can be. I know, I know: it's a little cheesy to say something like that, but it's true. You saved me, in more ways than you could ever possibly know. I don't think I'd be here, as I am right now, without your help. You've done so much for me and I'm just so grateful. So how could I not love you?
Kuroko kissed the back of Saten's hand a third time, earning another squeak from her friend. Following that, she leaned in even closer, bringing herself face-to-face with her as they stared into each other's eyes.
"It's fine if you don't feel the same way, you know. If you just want to be friends…well, that's fine by me. But I just wanted to tell you the truth," she said, close enough that her breath tickled Saten's face. "Telling you how I feel, how I really feel, is enough of a reward itself. After this is over, we can just go back to being friends, if you'd prefer. But, I hope you'll indulge me just a little bit, before then?"
"Um," Saten stuttered out, looking away from her as her blush clung to her cheeks.
Before she could say anything else, however, Kuroko reached up with her free hand and pressed a finger against her lips.
"Don't worry, you don't have to say anything yet. And I'm not going to ask too much from you. I just want to kiss you, okay? Would that be fine with you?" she softly asked, batting her eyelashes at her.
Saten stared down at her with wide eyes, swallowing nervously in response. After a few seconds she gave a meek little nod, which caused Kuroko to flash her a brilliant smile.
Wordlessly, she leaned in, bringing her lips closer and closer to Saten's. Then—
She moved away from her lips, and instead moved to whisper into Saten's ear. "Something like that, you think?"
Saten jerked, her shoulders sagging as if she were a puppet whose strings had suddenly been cut. Clearly frazzled and out of her depth, she stammered, "H-Huh? What?"
"The confession. Do you think it was good? Or was it too cheesy?" Kuroko pressed, pulling away from her. A bright, eager smile shone across her face, as she waited for Saten's evaluation.
The girl in question stared at her with an open mouth, words failing her.
Kuroko gave her a few more seconds, her brows furrowed as Saten failed to respond. When she still didn't say anything, she moved on, turning away from her friend. She hummed to herself as she considered her own question, softly stroking her chin.
"It felt a little cheesy to me, you know? But it was from the heart, so, I guess it would kinda have to be? Ugh, I've never given a love confession before, so I really don't know. It felt right, but…it was also a little embarrassing to say. I guess it's good to get a rough draft of it hammered out, if nothing else."
Kuroko hummed again, mumbling to herself as she combed over her confession in her mind. She turned back to Saten again to see if she was ready to give her feedback, but stopped short as she saw what the older girl was doing.
Saten had turned around, facing the wall as she pressed her hands and forehead against it. She was also muttering something under her breath: it took a few moments for her to discern just what she was saying.
"This is for Uiharu. For Uiharu. For Uiharu. For Uiharu. For Uiharu. For—"
"Are you…okay?" Kuroko hesitantly asked, tilting her head.
Saten whipped back around to face her, her entire face bright red. She gave a frenzied laugh and nodded erratically, waving a hand to dismiss her concerns. "Y-Yeah! I'm fine! Just peachy! Just, uh, having a moment here! Don't worry about it!"
Kuroko stared back at her skeptically, but she shrugged after a few moments. "Well, if you say so. So, what do you think? Too cheesy? Just right? Or…?"
"I think," Saten began, a nervous giggle escaping her lips. "I think that whatever girl you say that to, is going to fall hard for that kind of confession! It uh, it really took me by surprise! You can really be a romantic when you want to be, huh, Shirai?"
Kuroko beamed at her, her chest swelling with pride at her praise. "Well, I do try my best!"
The oven beeped a moment later, cutting their conversation short.
"Oh thank god," Saten gasped, letting out a relieved groan. "I-I mean, um, looks like the cake is ready!"
With that said, Saten immediately dashed back toward the oven, and Kuroko followed her. They busied themselves in the kitchen, pulling out the cake and letting it cool on the kitchen counter before they started putting frosting on it. It took them an extra hour and a half to fully decorate it, but by the time they were done, Kuroko was looking at their creation with supreme satisfaction.
"This looks amazing!" she cheered, before transferring her beaming grin over to Saten. "Thanks again for all your help! There's no way I could have done all this by myself."
"Hey, it's no trouble! I'm just happy to help!" Saten replied, smiling at her in return. "Man, I'm so excited for the party now! I bet Misaka is gonna love this!"
Kuroko giggled enthusiastically, before leaning over to hug her friend. She wrapped her in a tight embrace, and when she pulled back, she impulsively leaned in and kissed Saten's cheek.
"You're the best, Saten!" she declared.
Another light blush coated Saten's face as she cupped her cheek, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. "Th-thanks, Shirai."
From there, she proceeded to help Saten put away the completed cake, and then helped her in cleaning up her kitchen. Once all that was done, Kuroko handed her apron back to Saten and put her summer vest back on.
They said their goodbyes after that, Kuroko giving Saten another bone-crushing hug before finally departing from her apartment.
By that point the sun was starting to set as night fell upon Academy City. Kuroko picked up the pace as she walked, eager to beat curfew as she dashed back toward her dorm. Along the way, however…her path back took her to an all too familiar setting.
Despite the fact that she was running late, Kuroko found herself coming to a stop as she passed by a certain blue-colored church. After a few seconds of indecision, Kuroko slowly found herself approaching the building, her hands pressing against the front doors as she walked inside.
The interior of the chapel was much as she remembered it. And on the stage that housed the pulpit was Father Abraham, busying himself as he straightened out the cross hung on the wall.
He turned as Kuroko walked into the chapel, his face lighting up soon thereafter. Immediately Father Abraham stopped what he was doing and rushed down the stage, making a beeline straight for her.
"Miss Shirai!" Abraham exclaimed, a sterling smile flashing over his face. He offered her his hand a moment later, gripping her outstretched palm with a firm hold. "It's so good to see you again! I do hope that you're doing better."
"I am, thank you," she said, granting him a soft smile. "I'm so sorry to bother you so late. I just…wanted to apologize to you, Father."
"Oh?" Abraham stared down at her, surprise written clear over his features. "Well, there's no need to do that, Miss Shirai. We all have our dark moments, after all. I'm just happy to see you in better spirits."
"Thank you. Still, I'd feel bad if I didn't apologize," she insisted, staring up at him seriously. "And I wanted to thank you, as well. You made sure to stay with me during my…well, dark moment, as you put it. So, I'm really grateful for that."
"Oh, no need to thank me. I was just doing what any man of God should do," Abraham demurred.
He cocked his head a moment later, staring down at her with avid curiosity. "Though I have the feeling you aren't here just to apologize, Miss Shirai. Tell me, what brings you to my church?"
Kuroko looked away, wrestling internally with herself. A sliver of doubt wormed its way deep into her, making her feel like she'd made a mistake in coming back here. But before that doubt could take root inside of her, she steeled her mind and hurriedly spoke.
"I…I want your advice, Father. We didn't get the chance to finish our talk, and…well, I don't know anyone else in Academy City I can talk with about this, except maybe my therapist. And I'm not sure she'd fully understand," she said, her lips twisting into a grimace. "I just…I want to believe. I just so desperately want to believe, like I used to. And if I do, then maybe…"
Maybe I won't be broken anymore.
The concept laid stillborn on her lips, but it rang true in her mind all the same.
Maybe if she reforged her connection with her old faith, she could find the solace she'd been looking for all this time. Maybe if she had something to believe in again, some wider, cosmic entity to draw comfort from, maybe she could fix the hole in her heart and become more than just a broken shell of a girl. Maybe she could make peace with herself, or find some way to get herself fixed. Maybe, if she could find something to believe in again, she wouldn't hurt so much anymore.
Maybe, maybe, maybe…
Though she trailed off, Father Abraham seemed to intuit her meaning. He smiled kindly at her, his brown, soulful eyes reflecting nothing but warmth and compassion. "Oh, I'm afraid it's not that simple. It might be counter-intuitive for a priest to say this, but…belief alone can't be a cure for all your ailments. It can help, and I do believe that God can show you the right path to recovery and peace. But it doesn't work like magic. You won't be 'cured' overnight. Your journey would be made easier with the Light of the Lord guiding you, but at the end of the day, we're all still human, Shirai. Fallible, sinful creatures made imperfectly in the image of our Lord. Or…I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I don't want you doing this with the wrong idea in mind."
Kuroko looked down at herself, her grimace widening as she took in his words. She knew that was true, on an intellectual level. But hearing them hurt, all the same. It reminded her of how she'd felt when Misaki had first told her that she couldn't 'fix' her with her ability.
"I know," she slowly said, the words tasting like ash in her mouth. She closed her eyes, giving a frustrated sigh as embers of anger slowly stoked themselves inside of her. "I know. Someone like me doesn't deserve a miracle like that."
"Hey now, that's not what I said," Abraham admonished her.
He moved to crouch down, leveling himself so that he was face-to-face with Kuroko. With that same kind, fatherly smile on his face, he went on. "God loves all of His children, and you're no exception, Shirai. If you truly want to believe again, to renew your faith, then I am more than happy to help you on that journey. In some ways, faith can be a great boon to one's mental health, and provide a great path to recovery and acceptance. Of course, I don't pretend to know everything you're going through, but from what I can tell, the road ahead of you is not an easy one. Faith can make it easier, but it can also hurt you and set you back, if you're not careful. That's what I want to avoid."
Kuroko continued to grimace, but she gave a reluctant nod all the same. It all made sense to her, and in fact sounded like something Komoe would tell her. That didn't make it any easier to swallow, however.
"Still, perhaps you're moving too fast here. If you truly wish to believe again, I think you'd be better off taking it slow," Father Abraham suddenly said, drawing her attention back to him.
He stood back up to his full height a moment later, a thoughtful look on his face. "Yes, I think that would be for the best. Don't commit to anything right now, Miss Shirai. Don't push yourself into doing something you're not ready for. Instead…why not just attend a service with me, and see how you feel?"
Kuroko stared up at him, surprised by the offer. When she continued to remain silent, Father Abraham went on, explaining himself
"Perhaps this coming Sunday, you can come and attend morning mass. Attend services with my congregation, listen to my sermon, stay over for lunch, that sort of thing. Would that work for you?" he politely asked. "It doesn't have to be so soon, of course, if your schedule won't allow for it."
"I…I should be free," Kuroko slowly said, working the idea over in her head. "That…doesn't sound too bad, I suppose. I…wouldn't be intruding by coming to church, would I?"
"Nonsense, all are welcome in the House of the Lord," Abraham declared. He paused a moment later, reluctantly adding, "I'll admit, you aren't my usual clientele; I mostly service the adult foreign residents of Academy City. In fact, there aren't too many Japanese Christians in my congregation: off the top of my head, I think we only have just one girl near your age. But, still, I think you'd enjoy yourself. And more importantly, something small like this would help you figure out if this is what's right for you. If you decide that you don't want to come anymore, well, that's no problem with me. I'll always be here to offer you a kind word, but you don't need to feel obligated to attend services here for that."
Kuroko pursed her lips, mulling the offer further. It felt reasonable enough, she had to admit. Perhaps he was right: starting small might be the best for her, when she was still struggling with her faith, or lack of it, from her past life. And that didn't even begin to cover all the baggage she had with her current life. She certainly didn't need to stress herself out when it could be avoided.
"I'll have to think about it some more, but…I might just do that," she finally said. She smiled up at him, adding, "Thank you, Father."
"You're quite welcome, Miss," he said, offering her a kindly grin of his own.
Abraham checked his watch a moment later, raising an eyebrow as he observed the time. "Still, much as I enjoy chatting with you, aren't you cutting it rather close to curfew?"
Kuroko's eyes widened in alarm and she hastily pulled out her phone. She checked the time, paling as she realized just how late it really was.
"Shi—um, shoot!" she covered up her swear, shooting Father Abraham a guilty look. "You're right, I need to get going! Um, sorry, Father! I'll see you later!"
With that said, she quickly teleported out of the chapel, before breaking out into a mad teleport dash back to the Tokiwadai Exterior Dorm. Despite her panic at the threat of breaking curfew, though, Kuroko couldn't help but feel a strange sense of inner peace.
For the first time in a long time, she actually looked forward to attending church on Sunday.