Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and briefly clenched his fingers into fists before slowly unclenching them again, his eyes never leaving Satine's the entire time.
"Will you leave us alone for a moment?" he finally asked, briefly peering over at Korkie and Anakin, "Please."
The two shared a quick glance, but it was Anakin who spoke up. "Are you sure?"
He nodded once and his Padawan squeezed his shoulder briefly in response before turning to Korkie and leaving the room with him.
Obi-Wan waited until the door closed behind them before he turned to Satine.
"What do you want from me?" he breathed sharply, letting his hurt leak into his voice, "No matter what I do, you seem to hate me for it..."
Her posture was rigid as she stared back. "That's not true."
He almost laughed. "It isn't?" he asked incredulously, his voice rasping in his throat, "Then explain it to me, Satine."
For someone who knew her poorly, it was impossible to tell, but Obi-Wan noticed the slight tremor that went through her body immediately.
"I- ... I'm just afraid of losing him," she admitted quietly at one point, turning her eyes away.
"And you think I'm a danger to him?" He turned his head in an attempt to find her gaze again, but she continued to avoid him.
"No, not you," Satine stroked your hair nervously, "But... but what you are." Her voice became so quiet at the end that he barely understood her.
Frowning, he tried to sit up again without jostling his leg. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand..."
Satine pursed her lips, starting to pace, still completely avoiding to even look at him.
He wished he could get up, but he lacked the strength, so he had no choice but to watch her. Exhaustion gnawed at his bones and he would like to close his eyes - just for a moment. Instead, he pushed back his discomfort, forcing himself to give his attention to the woman in front of him.
"Satine, come on..."
"A jedi."
It took him a moment to understand what she meant - and that did not make it hurt any less.
"A j'di?" he croaked, his voice suddenly failing him. Obi-Wan began to cough as his dry throat became too much and winced violently, one arm wrapped around his chest.
Satine made no move to help him, only watching as he battled with himself.
When the fit finally subsided, Obi-Wan gasped for breath. His lungs burned with exertion and it felt like he had barbed wire stuck in his throat. He flopped back against the pillows as he accidentally moved his leg, squeezing his eyes shut until the pain subsided and he could breathe again.
His lungs were still rattling when he looked at her again, finding her gaze almost impassive. "Could you bring me a glass of water?" he asked quietly - because he had no choice.
Satine blinked at him briefly before apparently breaking out of her trance and hurrying over to the sink to fill a cup.
"Here," she held the cup out to him a moment later and as soon as he closed his fingers around it, she backed away again, as if he would hurt her if she got too close, "Sorry."
Am I a monster?
The feeling was heavy on his chest.
"Thank you." Obi-Wan eyed her for a moment before bringing the cup to his mouth with shaky hands, careful not to spill everything. The cold water was soothing, but his throat still burned.
Slowly, he set the cup down on the table next to his bed.
Once again, Satine began to move without looking at him once.
"Satine," he tried to get her attention, but his words fell on deaf ears.
He had had enough.
His expression tight, he began to push himself up, pulling the blanket aside with one hand. His left leg was in a thick bacta cast, clearly not meant for moving around.
Master Che can punish me for that later.
Holding his breath, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, resting the cast on the hard tiles. His vision swayed and he felt like he was going to faint, but he pushed the sensation into the back of his mind.
Holding an iron grip on the bed railing, Obi-Wan finally got up with his good leg, stepping into Satine's path.
This finally made her stop. Her eyes widened as she realized what he was doing. "You shouldn't get up...," she murmured, now visibly worried. She tried to grab his arm with one hand, but Obi-Wan swatted it away.
"How about you sit down then?" he asked sternly, tightening his hold on the bed as his strength waned. His gaze never left hers and they were caught in a kind of limbo. Obi-Wan facing her with unyielding stubbornness and Satine matching him with unbridled determination.
"Am I so bad that you can't even talk to me?" he asked again, his voice softer now. He swallowed heavily. "... Because if you don't want to, you'd better go now. But I want you to know that we're done then."
Something flashed through her bright blue irises that he couldn't read. Her jaw muscles clenched and unclenched themselves as she looked at him, almost as if she didn't know what to decide.
The realization hurt more than he wanted to admit.
Obi-Wan averted his eyes, his body violently shaking with exhaustion, and took a step away from her, slowly settling back on the bed. He directed his focus to his splinted leg and was about to lift it onto the mattress when a pair of much more delicate hands took the task from him and lifted the injured limb.
Satine carefully placed his leg on the bed, putting a pillow under it to make the pain a little more bearable. Then she finally settled down on the edge of his bed, her eyes firmly rooted to the floor tiles in between her feet.
He watched her back, suddenly finding himself at a loss for words.
"You know, when Korkie was little, he always followed every single one of the reports about you," Satine continued after a moment, "... and he kept asking why his father wasn't coming home." She pushed a strand of her blonde hair out of her face. "I felt bad for lying to him... and especially for what I did to you... There were times when he was angry with you, shouting that he hated you."
She took a moment to breathe. "It hurt, knowing that I had taken the chance away from you," Satine paused, biting her lips, "For years I struggled to tell you... But then the war came. And suddenly my decision felt right."
Satine finally looked at him, her eyes sad. "You have made many dangerous enemies, Obi-Wan. And I can't let them get through to Korkie."
"You think your enemies are any less dangerous?" he asked slowly, another memory flashing before his inner eye.
Black blade. Searing pain.
Subconsciously, his hand moved to his chest, clawing at the branded letters hidden under his shirt.
Her gaze followed his movement and something like guilt joined the sadness in her gaze. "Mine do not wield the Force, do they?"
"I would never let anyone hurt Korkie. You know that," he defended himself, his eyes hardening.
"You can't promise that."
"I would die for him," he ground out, "... As I would have died for you."
His confession lay on them like a heavy weight and Obi-Wan suddenly found it impossible to look at her, averting his gaze and looking instead at his hands resting in his lap.
"... How can you say you want to keep him safe when you put yourself in danger every day?" Satine asked softly, her voice barely more than a whisper, "...when Qui-Gon died, you were-... You were so broken."
One of her hands gripped his and he lifted his head again, meeting tear-filled eyes. "I never want to have to see anyone like this again...," she breathed, squeezing his fingers lightly.
Obi-Wan remembered how he had called her in the middle of the night - on the verge of breaking down, still reeling from experiencing a bond snap.
Qui-Gon should never have died - he's dead because I failed.
"I-I can try to sever our bond again," he offered, his heart twisting painfully, "...but both sides have to want it."
"Korkie will understand," Satine assured him.
He wanted nothing more than to agree with her, but he couldn't. He knew too well how difficult it would be for him. Even though their bond was still so fresh, it shone all the brighter, brimming with joy.
Obi-Wan knew that the moment it would disappear, the darkness would take its place, a spreading festering wound he had been fighting forever.
Having the bond was like filling a hole he had been subconsciously carrying around for so long.
But he knew he couldn't be selfish.
"Okay," he murmured, "... then I should talk to him."
Some of his inner conflict must have shown on his face, because once again she gently squeezed his hand. "Obi-Wan, I...," she searched for words, suddenly not happy about their solution either, "...you don't have to do it now. Take your time."
How gracious of you.
The sarcastic remark wanted to slip off his tongue, but he caught himself at the last moment. "No, it's okay," he said instead, putting a forced smile on, "...the earlier the better."
"Thanks," Satine breathed, letting go of his hand, "... I hope you know I'm not doing this to hurt you... I'm worried - for both of you."
So you tear us apart?
"You know I am hard to kill," he offered with a grimace, but her gaze only darkened in response.
When had it become so hard to talk to her?
Obi-Wan had the feeling that he no longer knew the person in front of him, even if he wanted to.
"I'll go and get them." Satine stood up, the mattress dipping a little as she did so, and walked to the door.
Not a moment later, Korkie shuffled in, closely followed by Anakin. His son's face fell as he noticed the sad faces of his parents. "... did you two talk?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes," Obi-Wan replied quietly, "... and we have come to the decision that it would be best if we sever our bond."
Immediately he was hit with a gush of anger through their bond. "What? No!" argued Korkie, "Forget it!"
"Korkie, it's for your-."
"For my protection?" he roared, cutting Satine off, "I'm not a kid anymore. You can't just decide something like this for me."
Obi-Wan chose to say something. "You should know that if something happens to me...," it was hard for him to talk about it, "then you will feel it. When a bond breaks, it's like having a part of your body ripped out." His words were harsh, but he wanted his son to understand. "Besides, you're not trained in the ways of the Force, you have no chance to protect yourself."
I'm sorry, my boy.
He watched as Korkie's face went pale and he pursed his lips. "... Then don't die," he finally murmured, holding Obi-Wan's gaze without wavering, "Our bond stays."
Obi-Wan didn't have it in him to argue against it, didn't even want to.
Satine, on the other hand, was visibly upset with her son's decision. "You don't know what you're doing, Korkie," she hissed.
Before they could start arguing, Anakin surprisingly intervened. "How about we teach him to shield himself?" he suggested calmly, "At least he should be able to learn the basics with his strength."
"But it's not about shielding his own emotions from others," Obi-Wan returned, "He has to be able to protect himself from others. And you know that's not easy to learn. Above all, it takes time and patience."
"I will try," Korkie declared immediately, squaring his shoulders with confidence.
A sigh escaped his throat. "I'm afraid I'm not really in a position to train at the moment..."
"You need to rest, Obi-Wan. But I could start with him right away," Anakin suggested, a grin plastered on his face, "...that way I can get to know my brother better." Playfully he nudged Korkie in the shoulder, eliciting a chuckle from the teenager.
At least they seem to like each other.
It was more than a relief and Obi-Wan found himself smiling seriously for the first time in a long time.
"Fine," Satine finally agreed, even if she still looked disgruntled, "You can try."
She then glanced at the chrono on the wall. "I'm afraid I have to go to the Senate now," she explained as she turned her eyes back to him, "Will you be alright?"
"I'll be fine," Obi-Wan replied, "I think I'm in good hands here." He stopped short. "You know, if you need anything from me..." He hadn't been able to prepare a speech for the Senate, but he wasn't called the Negotiator for nothing.
Satine gave him a small smile in return. "Get better first. I'll handle myself."
With that, she quickly took her leave, hurrying towards her appointment. Obi-Wan was left with Korkie and Anakin, who were still standing at the foot of his bed.
"Do you need anything else?" his Padawan asked, leaning over the railing to pull the blanket he had shifted aside earlier back over his legs, "Something to eat, drink... just company."
"I think I just want to get some sleep," he admitted softly, weariness leaking into his voice, "...if you two don't mind."
"Of course," Anakin gave his healthy leg a light squeeze before stepping back, making room for Korkie.
"You and mom still haven't really gotten around, have you?" his son asked, stepping to the side of his bed.
"Sorry, Korkie," he reached up to grasp the boy's forearm, "It's just complicated..."
Korkie also moved to curl his fingers around his arm. "It's because you're a Jedi, isn't it?" he asked softly.
Obi-Wan shook his head slowly. "It's the war, dear. And what it forces us to become."
His son's features tightened at his words and the fingers holding him squeezed a little tighter. "When all of this is over...," Korkie hesitated, "will you come home then?"
Where is home anyway?
Er looked briefly at Anakin, who had remained silent until now and wore an unreadable expression.
Somehow, he hadn't thought about what would happen after the war. With Anakin, he could imagine that he would leave the Order to be with Padme.
Maybe even to start a family.
But himself?
I don't know what I want.
"... Dad?" Korkie snapped him out of his thoughts.
"I... I'm sorry," he stumbled over his words, "I don't know if I can answer that right now, Korkie."
His son's hand withdrew and he had to watch as Korkie's face fell. "I understand..."
"Korkie, I..."
"No," the teen fought back, "It's okay."
Her bond was filled with suffocating disappointment and it felt like it was eating Obi-Wan up from the inside.
He hated himself for his choices.
Silently, he watched as Korkie turned away and walked towards the door, his hand closing around the doorknob. The boy hesitated briefly, but then opened the door and walked out without another word.
You messed up again.
Anakin remained standing in front of the bed, his eyes first following the boy and then finally looking at him again. "It's not your fault, Obi-Wan."
He only hummed quietly in response, his eyes still fixed on the hallway behind the door, now deserted.
"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him."
Obi-Wan let his gaze wander to his Padawan and found the man's eyes full of sincerity.
Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you.
Anakin had matured so much in the years they had spent together - and it filled Obi-Wan with pride to see the man he had become. Sometimes he still worried about the anger that always burned under Anakin's skin, but he also hoped that the other would talk to him when he needed help.
He had always made it a point that Anakin knew he could talk to him at any time - no matter about what.
Accordingly, he knew that Anakin trusted him with many things, but not with everything. His Padawan was strangely close to the Chancellor - he claimed the old man was a friend - but it still left Obi-Wan feeling uneasy. The Chancellor never had time - except exclusively for Anakin.
He still didn't know what to make of it.
"Thank you Anakin," he said instead, suppressing his thoughts.
His friend tapped his head briefly, smiling, before he finally took his leave as well, finally leaving Obi-Wan alone to think about what had just happened.
He couldn't put his finger on why - but he somehow had a bad feeling about it.