AN:
Happy late Fourth of July y'all. Thanks for the feedback and support.
I'm sorry I didn't get the chapter out sooner, my AC broke and I have a summer job now.
Besides that, I didn't think I'd get this far so quickly, so I'm pretty glad you all have been enjoying it so far.
I hope I can keep up the quality and write more for y'all to read.
Anyway, onto the story.
As soon as Megumi shut the door on the Magus, he rushed around the building. His feet shuffled like he was on a minefield, as if he knew that one mistake would cost his life.
THUD THUD THUD
He was moving like his life depended on it. If you were to ask him, he'd agree that if he didn't do something about Rin Tohsaka and her (maybe?) bodyguard, then he was going to regret everything.
'Where the hell are the windows? I need to see where they are! Oh God oh god oh god oh god oh god ohgodohgodohgodoh-"
"MASTER!" Assassin bellowed, "Allow me to take care of this at once!"
"It's FINE!" Megumi yelled in kind, "I can take care of this!"
"You can't!"
"Yes I can! I am far more capable and I don't deserve YOUR HELP!"
CRASH
NO!
They got in! Shit!
'Where did they come from!' Megumi worried.
His mind raced with a thousand thoughts a minute, hoping that he would solve this issue and rest once and for all.
Unfortunately for him, the world would not be so kind to him after all.
As he reached the first floor, he saw smoke settling from the previously unnoticed fireplace.
He was an idiot for not noticing that quicker.
"COUGH COUGH!"
!
NO.
NO. NONONONONONONONONONONO!
WHY HIM ANYTHING BUT HIM.
PLEASE.
"Alright Rin!" The M̴̡̘̰̯̖̗̹̿̈͜Ȍ̶͎̭͆̈́͗͘N̶̺̭̜̑̄̄͘Ṣ̸̡̬̿͋̔̓T̶̩̩͌͛̀̀͗͊͑͂Ę̴̉͗̒́̈́̓̊̚͠R̵͖͙̼̫̜͑̊̈́̾͛̉́̎͆ bellowed, "Come down! I've gotten rid of the smoke!"
A distant voice yelled something incomprehensible and descended down below.
BOOMF
Tohsaka landed like a cat, pristine and unfazed. She slowly stepped out along with that-
Oh thank God. It wasn't him, but that didn't matter: HE STILL SOUNDED LIKE HIM.
Regardless, the man who caught her had a head of snow white hair and skin a bronze tan. If he didn't know any better, he'd assume this "Bodyguard" was a foreigner, but that was besides the point.
"Alright Urchin Boy!" Tohsaka commanded, "It's time to talk!"
"No it isn't!" Fushiguro rebuked, "Leave me alone! Get out of my house!"
"NO! WE'RE GOING TO TALK NOW!"
"MASTER WHAT IS IT-" Assassin rushed in and steeled, her eyes narrowing. She reached toward her sword and brought it out in the blink of an eye.
SCHWING
SCHWING
That b̷̙̤̺͖̭̗̪͔͐͛̋̐͌͗̊ḙ̵̼̣͌͘i̸͙̮̎̏̂͌͌̚͝ņ̵͙̫̫̯̈́͂̈́͆͌̉̅́̚͜g̴͙͐ brought out his own weapons as well, two blades, one white and one black, just like Yin and Yang.
This would not end well.
"EVERYBODY!" Megumi shouted, "CALM DOWN!"
The room halted to a stop. Experienced eyes darted from one person to another.
Murder was in the air, and Megumi was very adamant about that not happening.
…
Which meant he'd need to do what the Magus wanted.
He took a deep breath and sighed.
"Tohsaka!" The sorcerer yelled, "I'll talk!"
Rin grinned.
This was going to be a long day.
This was torture.
"What do you mean you're not a Magus Urchin Boy!"
"I. Am. A Sorcerer!"
"No you aren't! A Sorcerer is one who is able to use one of the several True Magics!"
"Yes I am! I am a Jujutsu Sorcerer! How do you use Sorcery?"
…
"WHAT THE HELL IS JUJUTSU!" Rin yelled, "AND NO, I CAN'T USE SORCERY! I USE MAGECRAFT! MAGECRAFT! DO YOU WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?"
"MAGECRAFT? ARE YOU PLAYING JOKES ON ME?" Megumi responded in kind.
"I'M NOT URCHIN BOY! MAGI USE MANA TO DO MAGECRAFT! AND UNLESS I HAVE A BRAIN INJURY, YOU ARE NOT A SORCERER!"
"Maybe you do have an injury," Megumi mumbled.
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"
"NEVERMIND THAT!" The Sorcerer deflected, "SORCERERS USE CURSED ENERGY AND HAVE TECHNIQUES! UNLESS I'M DEAD, THERE IS NO OTHER DEFINITION!"
"CURSED ENERGY? AHAHAHAHAHAH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT?"
"LET ME SHOW YOU THEN! HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH!?"
"YEAH! SHOW ME RIGHT NOW!"
"FINE!"
Megumi shot up and made a hand sign, his fingers touched one another and his pinkies curled. His thumbs spread out and his index fingers did the same, making the shape of a mouth.
Rin saw the sign and was immediately reminded of how her mom made Shadow Puppets for her and her sister.
Her sister…
Sakura…
Rin shook her head. That did not matter right now.
What did matter, however, was that Megumi made a Shadow Puppet of a frog.
And immediately after, 2 frogs jumped up onto the ruined table.
Two things were certain: That was not magecraft…
And Rin had a new test subject.
Archer sighed.
Rin was being really adamant about this…
Sorcerer…
HAH! Who is this random kid to call himself a Sorcerer? Unless he had some kinda almighty power with his shadow puppets, he was basically a kid playing God.
The worst kind of kid.
BLEH!
Disgusting.
Anyway, back to Rin and "Host", the kid was basically a ticking time bomb. His face showed nothing but fatigue and his arms were clenched into fists. Those frogs of his already left the table and his Servant was glaring daggers.
Speaking of his Servant, who was she?
As Archer turned his face toward Assassin, he was met with disgust. Her eyes showed nothing but the willingness to carve Archer and his Master a new one as well as fifty more new ones.
That would hurt.
A LOT.
But disregarding that, Archer had no idea who Assassin was.
Now, that's not to say he was stumped. He did indeed study his homeland's history and could easily tell that this Servant was Japanese.
Go figure.
But, the problem was that historically…
There weren't many warriors that matched Assassin's description.
GROAN
Well regardless, he'd find out later.
Killing Fushiguro was simply a side quest before the main event.
"Main event?" You may ask?
It's quite simple really.
It was:
KILLING THAT STUPID BRAT!
Who was this brat?
Hmm…
Who cares?
He would be dead soon.
If Archer got there quick enough.
"Huh…" Tohsaka pondered.
To Megumi, Rin looked like she had never seen a damn Shikigami before.
Pfft!
Some Magus she is.
Well anyway, Rin shot her head up and looked at him with…
Confusion
"How'd you do that?"
"DAMN IT!"Megumi groaned, "I'm telling you, I use cursed energy. I have no clue what magecraft or any of the damn terms you said are."
"Then how did you summon Assassin?"
"I don't know?" He bit out, "I got hurt and some blood fell on the ground."
"Really?" Rin questioned.
The two locked eyes and sighed. The brown hair of the Magus swaying back and forth and the black hair of the Sorcerer staying firm.
To Rin, Megumi looked like both the most perplexing yet idiotic person she had ever met.
…
Megumi saw her the same way.
The Sorcerer groaned and resumed the conversation, hoping that this final sentence would end it.
"If there was anything else, I'd tell you."
…
It, in fact, did not end the conversation.
"Huh. Well considering how you don't know anything, I have to bring you to the Church."
"Why?"
"Because the Supervisor of the Holy Grail War is a part of the Church."
"I'm not following."
"ARGH! Fine! I'll tell you the whole shindig, but you also have to explain your… um… your technique! Got it?!"
…
Megumi was going to regret this for ages.
"Fine, I'll tell you about my technique, just tell me what I need to know."
Rin's eyes lit up like she won the lottery. Well, more like she won 10 lotteries and a million dollar inheritance.
"Fantastic! It should be relatively simple! The Magus Association is basically the government for Magi. They basically make rules and have Enforcers to enforce said rules."
"Okay…"
"Then there's the Church. The Church is more like a Black Ops thing than anything. They basically hunt Vampires and Heretics. They also supervise the War."
…
'Rin,' Archer began to speak from their mental link, 'You're leaving out a lot of info.'
'It doesn't matter!' She replied in turn. 'Urchin Head is new to this, and if I leave him in the dark, then we're SOOOOO getting the upper hand!'
'Suit yourself milady.'
'Shut up!'
This was officially worse than Gojo Gambling Night.
Megumi was only one thing after he listened to the deranged rambling of the pig-tailed magus.
And what was that?
I don't know.
HE WAS ANNOYED.
THIS ANNOYING PRICK BARGED INTO HIS HOME WITH HER FRIEND.
DEMANDS THAT HE REVEAL EVERYTHING ABOUT WHO HE WAS!
AND THEN GAVE HIM A HALF-ASSED RESPONSE TOWARD HIS QUESTIONS!
WHO DID SHE THINK SHE WAS?!
'Maste-'
'WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD DO YOU WANT?!'
'Master,' Assassin communicated, 'I can get the two intruders to leave. You just have to ask.'
…
'It's fine,' the Sorcerer denied, 'I can handle it. Do NOT do anything.'
Drip…
Drip…
Drip…
Drip…
The silence was deafening.
Neither side spoke.
Eyes darted toward one another, from Master to Servant to Servant to Master.
The next words said would change the air of the room forever.
What would those be?
A simple request.
BAM
Megumi slammed his fist onto the table! The rest of the room shook as all eyes darted toward him.
This would end in catastrophe.
Megumi opened his mouth. His stupid stinking mouth opened up like he had found something useful to say. Something that would rid him of annoyances for the rest of the day.
And within seconds, he uttered the words he'd been trying to find the whole day.
"Get out."
Rin's mouth stood agape. She just gave him the (bare minimum) info he needed! And now he was telling her to get out? Really?!
"Wha-"
"I said GET OUT of my house Magus!" Megumi yelled.
His face was red like a cooked lobster.
Veins shook everywhere and pulsated like Fushiguro was about to burst.
His eyes shook, pulsating and moving around like a fly, while sweat dripped from his brow, like a snail moving across the ground.
The cool yet annoyed demeanor the Sorcerer once had faded away and exploded into anger.
And he put up another pose.
His right arm shot out and he turned his balled up fist upwards.
His left arm also shot out and went above his right arm.
…
Something very bad was about to happen if someone did not step in.
Eyes yet again darted across the room, and Megumi began to speak again.
"WITH THIS TREA-"
"Rin," Archer interrupted. "We're leaving."
…
The room was yet again silent. Masters locked eyes with one another. Megumi with seething rage and Rin with intrigue and shock. Megumi's eyes darted over to that PIECE OF FILTH who interrupted…
And put his hands down.
Rin looked back at her Servant. Although she wanted Urchin Boy to tell her about his 'technique', Rin didn't want to know about it anymore.
If anything was to go by, not interacting with him was a much better option than
She looked up…
…and sighed.
"Well then Fushiguro," Rin began, "Use the information I gave you wisely. We'll see each other on the battlefield soon."
The Magus got up and walked to the exit. Her Servant holding the door like a butler, she left with the air of a disappointed mother.
Her Servant followed suit.
…
…
…
…
The room was silent.
And then Megumi blacked out.
As her Master bonked his head on the table, Assassin was a bit…
Um…
Concerned? Yeah, concerned.
Her Master, the one who would command her to victory, was slightly unhinged.
As the Urchin Haired boy snored his sorrows away, the Servant tiptoed her way across the room, the floorboards creaking with every step.
CREAK
CREAK
CREAK
By the time Megumi got to his next snore, Assassin was already on the rusted, orange roof that was speckled with gray spots.
Assassin looked left.
Then she looked right.
And shook her head.
This would simply not do.
Her Master deserved the FINEST living quarters known to the Minamoto clan. The most pristine house, the most lavish of sofas, and above all:
THE MOST COMFORTABLE BED!
YES!
'MY MASTER DESERVES NOTHING BUT THE BEST!' She thundered inside that cranium of hers.
Indeed! Just like her brother, the strongest person she knew, her Master deserved the utmost respect! Why must he suffer silently? He deserves much more than he currently gives himself, does he not?!
Assassin darted upwards and got into a stance.
What for?
Stealing of course.
Muscles strained and calves tightened.
…
SCHWOOM!
The Servant disappeared in a flash.
For some specific individuals, this would be the beginning of a tragedy.
For Megumi, this would be another headache.
…
Yet, for Assassin, this was simply a mission for her Master.
Megumi was stuck in a never ending nightmare.
After all, he deserved it!
What kind of person like him deserves good dreams?
He deserved nothing!
He didn't help Yuji and the other sorcerers fight Sukuna in any way, he killed those that were basically his only family, he lost everything.
EVERYTHING!
WHAT KIND OF GOOD PERSON LETS THEIR LOVED ONES DIE? LETS THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT MATTERED END THEIR LIVES OVER THEMSELVES?
WHY?!
Why!
Why…
"Maaa, Megumi-chan," Gojo would say, "It's no fun being sad all the time! You gotta loosen up."
"I can't!" He'd say.
"Hmphh!" Gojo would pout, "Beating yourself over something that you couldn't control is not good in the slightest."
"But it's what I deserve!"
"No it isn't! Listen to yourself, is this what Yuji would want from his dear friend?"
"It doesn't matter what he wants! I screwed up!"
By now the Gojo ghost had moved closer to him and towered over him. Like a colossus, he stood greater than mountains. If you looked at a side profile, Megumi would be an ant and Gojo was a mountain.
Gojo took a deep breath…
… and sighed.
"Megumi… Please, for the love of all that makes this world, listen to me. I know you hate yourself, but mellowing out in your depression will help with nothing. You've defeated Sorcerers much more clever than you with your cunning, yet the thing that beats you down is the fact you had no control. If you remember correctly, I told you I wasn't able to save somebody."
The apparition stopped for a moment, as if he needed to collect his thoughts.
A ghost pausing? HAH! He really is going crazy.
The apparition resumed, with even more vigor and hope, "But just because I wasn't able to save them, I still deserved love from my friends."
…
"I didn't get any love, but that's not my point! You still deserve it, no matter how many times you say you don't!"
…
"Yeah, as if I do." The Urchin mumbled.
With the final word said, the space turned dark yet again…
And the Sorcerer was left alone yet again.
"Fantastic! I've never seen such magnificent homes before! How much did it cost, house seller!?"
As Assassin's eyes shined gold, the real estate agent sighed. For the past two hours, he had been subject to this gremlin's deranged ramblings and claims. In fact, the way they started talking was when he was held hostage by her with a damn sword.
A SWORD!
Now, the sword was bad enough, but then she started shouting about how her "master" needed a house "fit for the most deserving person" which doesn't make any sense either!
At least she could pay…
Well, who wouldn't take 50 gold bars and several gemstones? Certainly not him…
"For the love of God, please stop calling me that ma'am, "The agent sighed, "Well regardless, you claimed to have the funds for everything. You said you liked the black house the best, did you not?"
Assassin shook her head up and down vigorously.
"Indeed! I believe it suits my Master very nicely!"
BLINK BLINK
"Okayyyyy…" The agent paused for a moment, this was the deal of a century! A mansion that was basically old and worn down for basically the equivalent of a treasure trove! It was stocked with basically the essentials, but it would take a damn Disney Princess to clean it all!
But who cares! He's getting money anyway!
The cold, calloused hands of the agent pulled out a letter for the Servant to sign, shaking as he brought it onto the table. Those rough hands shook every millisecond, and his face was not much better.
He was sweating bullets, as if he just ran ten miles in ten minutes, every drop falling down like a waterfall.
To Assassin, the old guy looked pretty weird and creepy, but her Master was getting the house anyway, so she didn't care.
But to the Real Estate agent, he just got a deal of a lifetime.
"Alright," the man drawled. "Just sign here."
The Servant raised a pen in a flash and BROUGHT it down onto the paper in another.
Swift strokes touched the paper, as if Assassin was making the most effortless decision. No unnecessary movements were made, no pointless actions occurred. It was like watching a seasoned warrior practice their skills again. The experience coursing through each action with barely any struggle.
"Huh," the old man eyed. "Well I hope you're satisfied with your purchase ma'am. It's all yours."
Assassin bowed, taking great pride in her actions.
And off she went, to get her Master into his new home.
As Megumi Fushiguro woke up from his personal hell back into actual hell, a question formed in his mind:
'Where the hell am I?'
As opposed to being on a table after falling asleep, Megumi Fushiguro was asleep on top of a bed.
A nice bed.
A VERY nice bed.
Now, Megumi here passed out on a table in his rundown home after yelling at what are probably going to be the two most important people of his time here, and he did check that there were no beds in that rundown building he took occupancy of.
So the fact that he was in bed was even worse.
Yippee!
Groaning, the Master got up and shuffled out of his surprisingly lavish room.
And then outside of the room was an even more expensive hallway, with paintings and fancy wallpapers that would make even Gojo wretch.
Sheesh.
Regardless, the Master walked down a very grand staircase. The guardrails lined with golden etchings, as if some European prince arrived and demanded something straight out of a fairy tale.
'Maybe I am in Hell,' Megumi wondered. 'Maybe this is what the world gave me because I was too much of a crybaby to ask for help.'
Well regardless, Megumi had to keep suffering.
Because he did not buy this house.
As he stepped downward with the utmost grumpiness of mankind, the Sorcerer decided that he needed to take a walk very soon, considering that Gojo always said to take one if he felt down.
What exactly did he say again?
"Remember Megumi, if you're ever feeling upset or tired, take a walk. It really helped me when I was feeling sad, not that I am sad of course?"
God, no wonder Megumi had no friends growing up! He lived with a man with glitter for brains!
"Megumi! It's rude to think of people that way!" Gojo would say. "Even now you're acting like the people you disregard!"
Yeah, and some of the glitter got into his brain too.
As the Master got down the staircase and looked around, he noticed the Servant of his barreling down the hallway towards him.
And she was carrying a plate of eggs too.
Huh.
"MASTER!" She announced. "I HAVE BROUGHT BREAK-"
"Why the hell am I here Assassin." Megumi interrupted.
…
"I bought a home that only my Master deserved!" She replied.
…
"Uh huh. So how did you do that?"
…
"I got the funds necessary!"
…
…
…
"I'm going for a walk."
"Not before breakfast!"
"FINE! I'LL EAT THE DAMN BREAKFAST!"
After eating what was probably the only thing he had eaten in a week, Megumi finally got to go take a walk.
…
It turned out that Assassin got them a really big house.
What's worse is that there was another big house right next to them.
A big house that felt cursed.
Cursed…
This was going to end very poorly one day.
Well regardless of whatever Megumi thought, the doors to the house opened up and a figure with shoulder length purple hair and a ribbon stepped out.
Dressed in a school uniform and holding a bag, the girl went up to him to greet him.
Megumi, however, was ready to kill.
EVERY sense in his body told him to kill the girl. This girl was a threat to every living being on this planet, and could kill everything soon enough.
A walking contradiction…
'I've seen worse I guess.' The Sorcerer thought.
In the meantime, the girl already got up to him.
"Hello there! I don't think we've met before. Are you our new neighbor?"
Huh, she already knew that "he" moved in.
Well, time to keep up appearances.
"Yeah. I just moved in recently. What's it to you?"
"It's fine, I just wanted to check up on you, that's all. Maybe we can talk later!"
As she was about to run in the other direction, she stopped and turned around one last time.
"I almost forgot. My name is Sakura. Sakura Matou."
…
"Well, it's only fair if I say my name in turn. My name is Megumi Fushiguro."
Sakura giggled, and then waved back as she ran in the other direction.
…
…
…
This was going to be a long day. Wasn't it?
OMAKE:
Assassin's FUND RETRIEVAL!
BEGIN!
CLINK
CLANK
CLONK
As Megumi and his Servant ate breakfast, a question grew heavy in the Sorcerer's mind.
Well, several questions actually. But regardless of the quantity, the importance of said question was dire.
"Assassin?"
"Yes Master?"
"How did you get the money to buy this house?"
BLINK BLINK
…
"I stole from a Golden Prick."
BLINK BLINK
"From who now?"
"From the Golden Prick! Back in the Throne, he was known for being very rude and mean. He had this Gate with many treasures, such as Diamonds and Gold! So I took some from him."
…
"That made no sense, Assassin."
"I think it's best if I flash back Master."
"No wait don-"
But it was too late, for Assassin had already begun an unskippable cutscene, and Megumi was forced to watch everything.
TIP-TOE TIP-TOE
As Assassin sneaked her way into a very UN-HOLY Church, she reflected on why she came here.
For fun? No.
For a fight? No.
It was, in fact, for the MONEY. The same money that would buy a house her Master deserved. The hidden jewels and bars of gold that were hidden in this House of Christ were the key to making her Master happy.
Well, he was a bit grumpy, but appearances can be deceiving, just like her dear brother Yoritomo. No matter what he said or how grumpy or tired he was, at the end of the day, she knew what her Master needed.
In this case: a house.
A house fit for a leader such as himself.
But before even thinking about a house, one must get the funds for it.
Said funds just so happened to be right under her.
'HUZZAH! Fate has bestowed me gratuity once more!'
As Ushiwakamaru inched her grubby little mitts toward the treasure trove, she failed to notice a golden portal appearing right above her.
Said portal apparently held an individual with Golden Hair.
Uh oh.
"HEY!" The individual shouted. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY TREASURES?! What does a mongrel such as you need it for?"
The Japanese Assassin jumped back. She was caught! Would this interfere with her goal?
Not if she was fast enough.
Fortunately she was.
SHWOOP
"Hey! Come back here mongrel! That's mine!"
As the Assassin skedaddled away from the Church, the Golden Haired prick donned his golden armor in a flash. He zoomed his way into the nearby forest, hot on the Assassin's tail.
With a golden SCHWING, a fierce blade was brought out, and with it, the Golden Emperor let out what was probably the worst battle cry in the history of mankind.
"COME BACK HERE YOU RAT! THAT GOLD IS MINE AND MINE ALONE! YOU THIEF! I'LL GET YOU AND SKIN YOU ALIVE! RAGGHHHHH!"
As the crazed warrior ran with a killing intent, Assassin ran in the other direction, huffing and puffing with several bars of gold and many gemstones in hand. In Ushiwakamaru's mind, this mission mattered more than her own life. The ability to make her Master a smidge happier mattered more than getting killed by a lunatic with a Golden Treasury.
And so she was able to escape, leaving several people woken up from the deranged yelling of the Golden Emperor and leaving the winner of the 4th Holy Grail War with a new person to find and rid the world of.
"And so I escaped the bad Golden Man and then I got the house! Pretty simple, if I do say so myself!"
…
BLINK BLINK
"Assassin, none of that made sense. You're telling me you ran into a Church, stole from some golden haired guy, and ran away as he tried to kill you?"
"Yes indeed!"
…
'Oh God,' the Jujutsu Sorcerer worried. 'I'm going to die a horrible death.'
…
"So what now?"
"Now we must fight! We must fight the other Masters and their Servants and win!"
SIGH
"I'm going back to bed Assassin. Make sure no one bothers me, please."
Assassin nodded her head and shot straight up. "Of course Master! Leave it to me!"
And with reluctance, Megumi shuffled his way back to bed, while Assassin stood watch, making sure her Master would get the rest he deserved.
AN:
Thanks for reading guys.
I want to give a shout out to my friends on Discord who helped me make the chapter, I couldn't have finished it without them.
I also want to give a shout out to one of my pal's stories. It's called Remnant's Cursebreaker and it's published by TheCongo. Go check it out whenever you can.