Enjoy!!

I blinked, mouth agape as I tried to comprehend what he said. "I… excuse me?" I asked, looking at him.

He looked at Penny before turning his attention to me. "I'm sick abd before you get all mad-"

I shook my head. "You're what?"

Penny shifted nervously in her seat. "He's sick but we have the best doctors and treatment will start soon, and…" She stopped when she noticed that neither Sam nor I had looked away from each other.

"You're sick and have to have treatments and you didn't think to call me?"

Sam frowned. "Penny has been trying to call you." He countered.

I slowly rose from my seat, my hands firmly planted on the table. "You're sick and it's severe enough that you have to have treatments and you didn't call me!" I repeated, my voice rising. "You are SICK AND DIDN'T CALL ME!"

Penny started to chime in but Sam stopped her. "I had to figure out everything and like I said, Penny has been trying to call you!" He spat back, standing as well.

"Guys, this is not how I expected this to go…" Penny said but it fell on deaf ears.

"BUT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU THAT CALLED ME!" I shouted.

Sam huffed. "I had Penny reach out and you ignored her calls! If it crossed my mind that me doing the calling would get you to answer the damn phone, I would've done it myself but forgive me for trying to process this shit!"

I shook my head, fighting tears. "No, NO! You don't get to use this sickness as a reason. If you really needed me you knew what you should have done. If you really wanted me to know you know all you had to say was one thing!"

He slammed his hand on the table, causing Penny to flinch. "AND YOU KNOW WHY I COULDN'T DO THAT OR YOU FORGETTING THE WEDDING?"

Penny tilted her head. "What… what do you mean? What happened at the wedding?"

I felt bad for her. She was basically a helpless sheep among wolves. What was worse was that I really, really wanted to kiss him again.

"I haven't." I replied, my anger faltering before it surged again. "And that's besides the point! You know you could have just picked up the damn phone and told me you needed me."

Sam leaned forward, his eyes now level with mine. "If you hadn't ran like a coward, I could've just come to your house and told you when I found out but that wasn't an option!"

"Okay guys, why don't we just take a minute to regroup?" Penny offered but again, it was falling on deaf ears.

I narrowed my eyes on him. "You know exactly why I had to leave." I gritted out.

"Yeah, because you're yellow bellied!"

"I AM NOT A YELLOW BELLIED YOU STUPID JERK!" I spat back.

Admittedly this was our most mature argument to date. Which is saying a lot considering the context and the severity of it all.

"HEY!" Penny shouted, causing us both to jump. "Now that's enough, you two need to… take a time out."

We both looked at her like two reprimanded children before I took a deep breath. I really needed to get away from them- away from him.

"I'm sorry," I say after a moment. "I just… I'm scared." I admit.

Sam blinks before nodding and taking a breath as well. "Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry I didn't call you myself but I didn't know how to make the call."

"I- so what is it?" I ask. "Like it requires treatment so what?"

I watched him closely, seeing him pinch the bridge of his nose before looking over at Penny. "So a while back, I kept getting these blinding headaches. I would have to take a few days off just to get over it. Then one time it got so bad that I lost sight for about twenty minutes…" he stopped, returning his attention back to me. "I went to the doctors and they suggested an MRI. That's when they found the tumor."

Tumor. Such a scary word.

I felt literal bile churning inside of me, threatening to come up. Placing my hand on my stomach, I take a step back shaking my head. He has a tumor and the only thing I can think of is kissing him.

Sam has a tumor. Sam has a tumor and I still want to kiss him even though he's married. Even though his wife has been there for him while I haven't.

Further proof that I could never fit into the picture that is their beautiful life.

Penny moved over to me, looking at me with concern. "Honey, you don't look so good. Why don't you sit down?" She suggested.

What a saint.

"Does- does Maxine know?" I question, feeling the room starting to slowly spin on its axis.

Sam shifted. "Yeah, she's been by a few times."

So she knew and didn't say anything. The bile continued to rise before I had no choice but to run to the bathroom. I knew the house like the back of my hand but somehow I stumbled into the guest bedroom and froze.

My eyes blinked several times before I had no choice but to accept what I was seeing. The guest room had been turned into a nursery, the bile came out before I could stop it and I, ever the dramatic, fainted.

"Jesus Christ, this is why I didn't want to tell her." I heard before my eyes adjusted and I saw Sam, Mary and Maxine all hovering over me.

"Max, you can't keep things from her just because she faints when she's overwhelmed." Mary replied. "Besides, she needed to know."

My eyes met Sam's. "She's awake." He said, his eyes saying more than those two words he just spoke.

He was worried. He was terrified actually and he knew I knew it.

"Well that's good, now she can clean that mess up." My mother said, "who throws up in a nursery?"

I groaned because it was an excellent question. "Moma, why are you even here!?" I mumbled, slowly sitting up before Sam extended his hand to help me up.

I accepted his help before looking around. He'd moved me from my mess, typical. He moved me from one room to the next but kept me on the floor.

Decades of friendship and he was the only one that knew to keep me on the floor when I fainted. I had been doing this since I was five, it happened after my parents divorced.

Okay that and I've always been extremely dramatic but this time was different, I was actually overwhelmed.

"Thanks." I muttered to him before offering a smile to Mary.

She pulled me into a hug, whispering. "The room is not what you think."

I pulled away, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. "Oh…" So she knew too.

Was I that damn transparent? Had everyone known except Sam? Or did he know too and was waiting for me to say something?

Fuck. Was I the reason we never happened?

"Mercy." Mary said and I looked at her before smiling again.

"Sorry, let me go rinse my mouth out and I'll clean the nursery." I said trying to move away from her but she held me in place.

We looked at each other for what felt like a long time before she let me go. "Go ahead." She said, nodding me on.

I walked out of the room to the bathroom, it was still the same. Sam and I painted it when we were teenagers and his parents never had it in the to tell us how shitty of job we'd done. I let out a soft laugh remembering that day, we got paint everywhere before Dwight forced us to go out back and wash off.

You'd think we were a couple of kids that day, running around playing with the water hose. I looked, seeing our handprints still on the wall with our initials. We were sixteen then and that was the exact day I feel in love with my best friend.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see the worry in my own eyes. How in the hell does he have a tumor, I thought as I turned the water on. I splashed my face before gathering some in my hands and swishing it around in my mouth.

"You didn't listen to me and now, here we are."

I rolled my eyes, spitting out the water before turning and facing my mother. "Maxine, not today." I said, brushing past her and walking down the hall.

"Mercedes, you did not listen to me all those years ago and you didn't listen to after the wedding." She said, grabbing my arm. "Don't ruin this man's life because you don't know how to control your own feelings."

I looked up at her, feeling rage boiling. "I-"

"Max, that's enough." Sam said, "Let her be."

My mother looked from me to him then back to me again before shaking her head. "You two are playing a very dangerous game and don't think for one second I will ever approve of you stringing my daughter along for as long as you have. You knew she had feelings for you and didn't act on them. And you knew you should've said something when he told you he as going to propose. That girl in there doesn't deserve that shit." She spat before walking away.

I looked at him before realization set in. "So you did know?"

Sam shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yes. I've always known."

I took a step back feeling my lungs struggling to function. "So what? You all have been laughing at me pining for you?"

He shook his head, stepping forward."No. I just- I know you Cedes. If you wanted something-"

I step back refusing to let him get any closer. "It doesn't matter. It's not important anymore." I say more to myself than him. "When do you start your treatments?"

He sighed. "Don't dismiss the previous conversation. Let me at least explain when prospective."

"No, I don't think that's important right now. Besides, you have get better since you're planning on kids." I replied, wrapping my arms around myself. " I am sorry I threw up in there."

"Mercedes." He said, this time getting directly in my face. "Let me talk."

It was the wedding all over. My brain was going haywire and what little self control I had was slipping. I was angry at myself for loving his scent and being surrounded by it was not good.

"Sam, oh there you are! Maxine offered to get the nursery professionally cleaned and… you feeling better hon?" Penny asked after realizing the situation.

"Perfect, sorry about throwing up in there." I said trying to sound believable. "I do think I should go though. I have a lot to process and need to call my job."

"Cedes." Sam said and I just offered up a smile.

"It's fine, really." I say inching away from them and all of their joy. "I'll call tomorrow, promise."

I start to walk away faster as I near the door. I can smell the fresh air and my legs begin to move quicker, the moment I'm outside I let out a heavy breath. It only lasts a few seconds before I take off running, I've known Sam my whole life.

I won't let him catch me this time, but I heard the door open and closing after me. I don't look back, I just keep going until my feet hit the fields behind their house. I need to cry in private, I need to scream and I need to figure out what to do but I can not do it around them.

"MERCEDES! I CAN BE RUNNING LIKE THIS!" He shouted.

"THEN STOP AND GO BACK!" I reply back, running harder. Tears streaming down my face and blowing off of my cheeks before I fall abruptly.

I didn't hit anything. My legs just gave out. I was far enough to scream now, so I did.

I scream until I'm hoarse because how do you I fall out of love with someone I've always loved?

There's a backstory to the backstory lol

I want to be transparent : I normally don't write about either characters being sick or ill but sometimes art imitates life. I found out recently mother has breast cancer. There's a lot of big changes going on within my family as we prepare to fight this with her, it's scary for me even as an adult because she is my mother and I love her deeply. Writing these have been helping me but I will have another story that will have another story like this but I'm an optimistic person so I will continue to be that way!