I'll tell you now, the rest of the time in Ezra's class felt super awkward. His little moment of seeming confused or nervous, or whatever it had been made me uncomfortable. People kept staring my way the entire time and I have no idea what the reason had been other than the fact that the new teacher seemed to be out of his mind from seeing me. Now it probably made the rumors of us truer than they had been five minutes before the bell had rang, and I am so not for it. Not only that, but even Aria seemed a little lost. It was bad enough that people were watching us have our reunion and wanted to see if I'd blow up on her, or see if I'd break down from having her back, but once Ezra reacted how he did it felt like all eyes were in our direction and she was just as unprepared as I had been.

My eyes eventually scanned over towards the other side of the room after getting a text from Mona in the middle of class, asking me what that was about so I answered her with an "I have no idea."

In the first two aisles closest to the door Hanna and her friends are sitting there with Mona. I make eye contact with Hanna when she realizes that I'm staring, her blue eyes seeming concerned. I'm not sure if she's concerned because of what happened with Ezra, or if she's staring at me in that way because like most people in my life they are worried about me. But I give her a reassuring smile as she smiles back while fixing a few strains of her long blond hair behind her ear, allowing us both to go back to paying attention to Ezra as he talks about the book we were assigned to read this summer.

When the bell rings for the end of class I grab my things pretty fast and pack it up. I stare at Aria and Emily, giving Aria a quick smile before telling them that I need to talk to Ezra (or to them, Mr. Firz) for a second and will see them later. Aria's face seems to be a little iffy as she looks at Ezra, but then recovers and nods in an okay. Emily smiles and hugs me before leaving, Aria right behind her with a wave of goodbye. Then I take a breath, put my backpack over my shoulder and walk to his desk. His eyes scan down at me standing by his desk and blinks, as if getting out of a daze. It looked like he had been watching the door a second before I came over to him.

Now sitting himself onto the edge of his desk he softly smiles at me, "How did I do?" He asks as if avoiding the question that needs to be asked.

At first I hunor the question, giving him a gentle smile. "Great. You are meant to teach, everyone was listening to every word that came out of your mouth." Of course the girls only did because of his looks, but I wouldn't be the one to break that to him. Even though he probably already had the hint to that fact. "But that isn't why I came over to you." I add and his face goes a little white, meaning he knows what's coming. "Why did you react that way in the beginning of class?"

He clears his throat, his sweet smile popping up as he plays innocent. "Just nerves, Jessie. Nothing to worry about."

I raise an eyebrow slowly, "Ezra, it felt like you had a moment of being out of it, and you having your eyes on me didn't soften the blow to the rumors."

Now he makes a soft hissing sound as he realizes what I meant, running his fingers through his hair. "I...I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry, Jessie. It was a misdirect in my head of panic and my face didn't soften it out."

I roll my eyes for a second before punching him on the arm lightly and smile, "You're fine. You just concerned me. For both of our sakes, we don't need people thinking that we are more than just friends."

He laughs gently as he dramatically rubs the spot I punched him, like a typical big brother, making it seem as if I hurt him. "Won't happen again." He smiles and rubs my head, messing up my hair as I glare at him. But he just laughs, "You're going to be late for your next class, go on."

I roll my eyes again as I flatten my hair to the best of my ability with no mirror to look at, students now starting to crowd his classroom again for his next period. "Yes, Mr. Fitz." I say in a mix of a smartass tone and playful, then laugh as I back up to the door. "I'll see you later."

"Be good." He adds with a soft smile on his face.

"Always am." I then turn on my heels with a small wave and head out the door, walking down the hall to my math class.

...

By the time my last class comes along I'm exhausted from the emotions of being around Aria again. I haven't seen Mike just yet, but that will be another roller coaster to go through. Now it's time for PE and luckily we aren't doing anything other than sitting in the bleachers of the gymnasium with our friends. I'm sitting on the floor leaning up against Noel Kahn's legs as he sits on the actual bleachers. Me and him have always been on talking terms since the age of 5 and he was always someone who stood up for me when I got picked on, but we never became the closest friends until I started hanging out with Hanna and Mona last school year. Now we are like the best of friends and were always hanging out before the craziness with my family happened. He gave me my space like most people did, hanging out here and there during the summer when Mona invited me to go places with the group of them. But ever since Mona told me that she sees him staring at me as if he likes me as more than a friend I always get this itch in the back of my head like he looks at me with a deeper connection. Which would be great and all because despite what others think of him, he's actually a really nice guy, however, I have my eyes on someone else. Andrew Campbell.

This boy that has pale skin, blue eyes and dirty blonde semi skater style hair has been crushing on me for what he said was ever, and he planned to ask me out last school year. But when the accident happened he decided not to because he knew I'd need time, and then I kind of fell off the face of the Earth which pushed a lot of people away, him included. I haven't seen him yet today but he's super cute and super sweet, being 6'2" and stronger than most of the boys in our grade from how built he is. But a lot of the girls think he's dorky and weird and most stay away from him. He even wears glasses that doubles on the dork status, but I like him just the way he is.

"Earth to Jessie?" Noel says with a laugh as he pokes his finger into my ear, making me laugh a bit and I look up at him. "Zoning out again I see "

I smile softly, shrugging as I see Aria sitting over by Emily and talking. When I got here I had originally been with them, but then I got called over by Hanna to sit with her, Mona, Sean and Noel. Aria and Emily didn't follow, saying they'd sit somewhere else, which bummed me out but I saw their hesitations. They are in the same situation I had been in before being added into Mona's and Hanna's clique, popular enough to be noticed, but not enough to be cared for.

"Just worried that Aria thinks I'm ditching her is all." I lied because I was actually thinking of Andrew. Him not being so popular has always rubbed this group the wrong way, especially Mona, and I'm 100% not in the mood to hear her or them make fun of the guy I like for the millionth time. "I haven't seen her in years and she's sitting on the other side of the gym."

Noel stares over at her too, "She'll understand. I mean, you guys have other classes together right? And you're gonna see her later. No harm, no foul."

I just stare up at him again and smile, raising my hand to rub his silky short dark brown hair and he laughs. Those blue eyes and bright smile of his always warms my heart. His teeth always seem to shine the world up, just almost blending in with his glowing pale skin that seems to have never had acne in his life. "Wise words, Mr. Kahn. Wise words."

...

School is finally out and somehow I managed to get through my first day without making a complete fool of myself. No one brought up the weirdness with Fitz thankfully, and I didn't get my ass handed to me by the twins. So all in all, the day was amazing.

While at my locker Aria asks me to head back to her house from school to see her parents and when I hear those words I internally scream, half scared and half excited to see them. Scared because it's been three years since I've been anywhere near the two people who have been like my aunt and uncle, and I have no idea what to tell them about the accident, about how my life has changed in the last 6 months since then. Uncle Byron and Aunt Ella have literally been more like my family than my actual relatives outside of my immediate family. To see them again, talk to them, hug them, know they are in the same state, the same COUNTRY after all this time excites me just as much as scares me.

Even with that fear I tell her I will go over. So once I have all my things I follow her to the main doors of the school to get outside. That's when I see the familiar face of Mike Montgomery, Aria's little brother. I hadn't seen him all day, but when I see him now all the love for him fills me. Then his eyes land on me and his face goes from shock to a smile in the matter of seconds and I practically run down the stairs to him at this point and land right into his arms as he doesn't hesitate to pull me into a hug. The boy is taller than me now, being a freshman at 14 years old and looks like he shot up into a rocket of tallness.

"Holy shit, Mikey." I say with my head dug into his body from hugging him back, smelling his scent that I missed so much, missing everything about him, about them all as I remember the fun we used to have. "You got so tall."

For a second he doesn't respond, gripping onto me a little more before he pulls away slowly and stares down at me. The smile on his face makes me smile up at him, missing this goofball. "Puberty, what can I say?" Is his only reply to that with his now deep voice, patting me on the head playfully as if trying to make a point. "And you've barely grown." He adds like the smartass he can be.

I just shake my head and half laugh, swatting his hand away from my head playfully now. "Oh, ha ha, so funny."

He smiles and laughs, taking a soft breath as his face gets a little slack now. I know what's coming and I'm not prepared for it. I was just getting used to people in town knowing about the accident and not crowding me anymore because it became old news fast. Sure they'd give me a sad look here and there, but it hasn't been as frequent as it used to be when this first happened. But now with the Montgomery's being home from Iceland after so long, they are not used to it at all. For them it's still fresh in their minds, like they just lost my parents and brother recently. While for me and the rest of Rosewood it's been months, and I of course am still struggling to deal with everything. Now knowing that they are having their emotions in a brand new way is going to make things hard for me again as if I just went through it yesterday.

"I'm okay." I decide to blurt out before he can get a word in, before he can make me cry or feel like running away from the whole situation. "I'm...I'm okay. I've been living with Spencer." I suck my lip, because I know it's not fair for me to dismiss him as if he's not trying to help, or as if he doesn't have feelings. It's just that I don't want the emotions, the hurt to rush through me again. Not like the way they had been before I could get myself together, and not the way I felt when I saw Aria for the first time today. I don't know if I can handle it. "And it's not your fault...not being here." I add, because if Aria feels that way, then I know he does too.

His eyes kind of go into a narrow sadness now, which hurts just as much as if he would have said he was sorry for my loss, or saying he wished he had been here. Because that look in his eyes is the same look I had when I first lost them. The same look I get when I think of them at any time of the day or night. Mona, Emily and Spencer have all been there to witness it before I'd bawl my eyes out or shut everyone away so that I wouldn't have to deal with things. That look he's giving me, I know it too well from looking in the mirror and the only thing I can do at this moment is give him another hug, trying hard not to lose myself right here and now. Because once I do, it's hard to get me back to normal.

"You're back and that's the first step to getting back to how we were." Is what I go with, hoping the comfort in my words spread through him in helpfulness rather than sadness. "It's not going to be easy for any of us. I know that for a fact. But we have each other."

I feel him grip tight to me when he hugs back, his breath skipping a bit as if he is about to cry. But instead I hear his breathing level out and he sounds decent, okay enough not to lose his cool. "We got you now." Is what he says instead of trying to get me to open up, "We won't leave you again."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, the comfort of his hug, his words, him in general soothes me. And before I know it, he's pulling away, ushering his arm to the side as if to say "after you". My heart just drops a bit as he doesn't say these words, but I know the meaning of his gesture. Because this is the moment where we start to walk to their house. This day is about to get heavier. I'm not ready.

...

There it is, the house that they grew up in. The house I practically grew up in as the Montgomery's home stands next door to my childhood home. I haven't been on this block in months, the thought of passing my house hurt too much. A whole new family lives there, kids that have our rooms, parents that sleep in mom's and dad's. A backyard and front yard used by people who aren't us. It never felt right with me, never set in as not being my house anymore. But I came to the conclusion of dealing with it, of being able to tell myself it's not mine a long time ago. But now seeing where I grew up for the first time in 6 months I'm lost for words and almost can't breathe once I see it.

"Hey." Aria's voice echoes in my ears, sounding far away for a second.

I barely notice it. I'm too focused on what I'm staring at, gripping onto the strap to my backpack and my skateboard like a lifeline. Then I feel a hand go to my shoulder and I slightly jump to the touch, my gaze shifting away from my old house to whoever touched me.

"You're okay. It's just us " Mike says gently as he pulls his hand away, but his eyes are glued to the neighbors house as well. "Mom and dad are waiting." He says before peeling his eyes away from that house and heads up the steps.

I don't think I'm ready. I don't know if I can do this. These are the words that swarm my brain as he walks up the stairs to his front door, Aria standing not too far beside me as she waits patiently. What if their parents are upset with me for not trying harder to reach them? Maybe even upset that I didn't try harder to save my family. I wouldn't blame them, even I wonder about that. I always think of all the ways I could have.

Then, after a good ten seconds of watching the front door from the sidewalk I finally take my steps to the stairs, and up to the door. Once I'm next to Mike he smiles gently in comfort and unlocks the front door, walking inside as if he had never left. Even being away for 3 years they always knew they'd come back to this house. Iceland was for Aria, but mostly because their father was able to take some time off before getting transferred from his job till it felt right to come back. All that time having someone renting out their place. So even though they felt right at home in the matter of a day, I on the other hand freeze up. I'm not sure I can walk inside as I smell the familiar scent of coconut that Aunt Ella always sprayed around the house. I can just make out the stairs that we used to race on to get to the second floor. But despite those familiar details I'm afraid to go in.

That's when I feel a hand slip into mine, my heart sinking a little before I feel the hand pull me inside. Aria comes into view as the person who helped me take my first steps into the house they grew up in, the house I visited often to play with them. Being in this house again doesn't feel real, but it still feels like I belong, like it's more my home than the Hastings' place could ever be. The feelings of being here swarm me like I just got hit with a rock to the gut. It hurts so bad to be here, to remember all the happy memories, the energy of love that would always be noticeable in this house.

"Ria…" I practically whisper as I say the nickname that I had given my best friend when I couldn't say the A as a kid. "I don't feel well." Are the first words I blurt out when the nausea, dizziness and shortness of breath come in like I'm drowning in my emotions. My eyes rapidly pace around the front hall we are in, looking from the stairs, to the living room on our right, to the kitchen on our left, even to the small hallway that leads to the back of the house where Uncle Byron's office and family room is. It's too much that hits me at once, to see the memories spiral in my brain. Of myself, Jeff, mom, dad, and the Montgomery's having great times here. "I can't do this. I c-can't be here."

Mike is standing in front of me a bit away, seeing his mouth move but not able to hear him. A loud buzzing is ringing in my ears as I faintly notice that Aria is speaking in my ear right beside me. This is how she used to calm me down growing up, holding my arms to keep me from falling over as she pulled off my backpack a moment before, while Mike grabs my skateboard as her soothing words continue to be whispered into my ear to relax my nerves. But right now I can't make them out, panic swarms me in every way possible. Then it worsens when I see Uncle Byron come out from where his office would be, my dad's best friend staring at me with concern when he notices my panic and right away he is practically running over towards me.

In the matter of seconds he has me scooped up in his arms, the way he used to carry me as a kid being put to bed, like a typical father would carry their child. He brings me to the living room and sits me down, kneeling in front of me. Aunt Ella is standing close by, I can see her in the corner of my eye. But my gaze is on Uncle Byron as he holds my cheeks in his hands, talking to me as I try to hear him. But all I see is his concerned eyes staring into mine deeply, a reflection of my dad peeking out of him. Until slowly, very slowly, my dizziness goes away, my sick feeling subsides, my hearing starts to come back and my breathing goes back to normal.

"Breathe, Jellybean." He tells me, my heart sinking from the old nickname I haven't heard in so long. The nickname that he and dad always called me since I was 5 because I used to love the candy so much. "We're right here, you're okay."

My eyes immediately start to water, "Uncle Byron." I jump into his body despite him kneeling down on the floor, flinging my arms around his neck and I just sob into his loving grip when he hugs me back. The first hug from someone who feels like a parent, who actually sees me for me, who doesn't see me as a prize, who loves me. His hug feels like home, this place feels like home, and this family feels like mine.

His arms tighten more around me as I cry and I feel him sit down onto the ground, not letting go of me. Then I hear as he takes a breath, "I got you, Jessie. I got you."

For a while I can't let go, can't stop crying because it's a lot to grasp in one day. Seeing Aria back in school, coming back to my old neighborhood, stepping into a house I've considered my second home forever. All this is too much too fast and I can't grasp it all in one shot. But eventually I'm able to relax and pull away, hiccuping a little from trying to stop the sobs and wipe my face of the tears that had poured down my cheeks. I finally put on a smile when I see Uncle Byron's face again, calming down immediately. That is until I turn my head to the others and notice they all either have worried faces or tears streaming down their cheeks, and now I feel horrible for making them cry.

"S-Sorry." I say gently as I take a breath and lean back into the couch on the floor, "I got overwhelmed."

For a few long seconds it's quiet, Uncle Byron rubbing my knee in comfort as he gives me a warm smile. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

Aunt Ella walks over now and sits beside me. I see her bloodshot eyes as she rubs my head gently and plants a kiss to my forehead. "We are the ones who should be sorry." Her voice cracked slightly when she said that, but still has a smile on her face when she looks at me. "You went through this alone. That shouldn't have been the case."

I just shake my head, not wanting them to blame themselves. Not wanting them to feel bad for what happened, even though they have every right to. "I managed." I say softly, "And now you're here. Which is all I wanted."