[a/n]JaketheSnake offered a couple entertaining ideas. More fanfiction in Hogwarts.
Harry Does Different DIVa
Dursleys After Hagrid
Ripley had just tucked the little blonde girl into the suspension chamber and was settling herself into her own pod. It wasn't exactly easy to do, which gave her time to think "I got incredibly lucky killing that queen xenomorph. Really! Acid blood and drool? Claws that could slice through steel. And about 30 feet tall on top of all that. Still don't get how Newt managed to survive all those weeks or months. Some kid." She pushed the IV needle into a vein and let the drug put her to sleep.
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"Now hold on a sec." Blaise Zabini interrupted the tale. Harry's writings had gathered a growing mix of listeners that included all Houses. Though the burly young man was the first Slytherin. "What are these xenomorphs? And what is this, I assume muggle, doing?"
Harry refrained from an impatient sigh at the purebloodist attitude and gave a quick backtrack "Right. In this series, Humans have been to the stars. Exploring, planting colonies on other worlds, etc. Ripley and Newt are the only survivors of an attack by the xenomorphs. Who are an alien species that pretty much make dragons look like pygmy puffs. Most of them are about people-sized, but the last one Ripley killed was as big as even the Hungarian Horntail from the First Task."
The Slytherin looked alarmed "And this suspension thing?"
"The best comparison I can see is a Draught of Living Death." Hermione put in "The spaceship's computer will know when to start the antidote and wake the crew. It saves on supplies by having them sleep for most of the trip." She clearly didn't like the incompleteness oof her explanation, but could tell even that much overloaded the pureblood portion of the audience.
Harry gave her a wink and a brief "Thanks Mione." Before continuing.
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On far distant Earth, an eleven-year-old boy had just learned from a big-friendly-giant that he was a wizard. He made this momentous discovery in the middle of nowhere. His magic-hating relatives had fled to a lonely lighthouse in an effort to prevent a disruption of their perfectly normal lives. Having learned the truth the young wizard took barely an eyeblink to decide to follow his savior.
"Well at least the brat is out of our house until June!" Brendan Gugley grunted heroically as he pulled his pajama bottoms over his vast gut.
Ivy Gugley was more worried for their cursed daughter "Brendan! Look at Endora's rearend!" she shrieked "A pig's tail sprouted from it!"
"AHHH! AHHH! MUMMY! DADDY! " the rotund girl shrieked, grabbing at her rear, not quite able to reach due to its size. Just screaming as she spun around "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"
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"Don't think Dudders would approve of the sex change, mate." Said Fred. There was no twinspeak because George had fallen out of his chair and was still laughing while nursing a bruised temple.
While everyone was laughing at the absurdity of the scene they just heard, there was confusion. Where Hermione filled in, giggling "While we started out with Aliens Harry felt the need to name his misgendered cousin after a popular television show's witch. Interesting here, I believe she would be older than all of us …combined."
Harry was only able to resume reading after the very raucous laughter died down.
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The chaos the poor family was suffering was entirely disrupted by a noise that ripped the very air. And their lighthouse was swamped by a tidal wave. That, fortunately, only slouched water through the door and windows. Their lives were not endangered.
"That's a spaceship Daddy!" the girl ran ahead, moving faster than anyone might think she could. More, she was enough of a science fiction fan to manage to open the airlock and get inside just ahead her panicked parents. Inside, she literally pounced on the most interesting equipment "Look! A suspended animation tube! And there's a little blonde girl inside. Can we keep her? PLLEEEEEEZ! Get rid of that git Danny!" The overweight preteen was bouncing on the suspended animation tube.
Her father commanded "Over here, Endora! Maybe the girl's mother. All that television got you in here, let's see if we can get it open. I'm sure this is some kind of secret government project. Stuff must be worth a fortune. Least they can do to make up for our inconvenience."
"Easy there, miss." Mrs. Gugley watched as her daughter's actions had the desired effect. There was a long, loud hiss, followed quickly by brown steam being expelled from several vents.
The woman within woke shortly after, slowly coming round "Who're you?" she spoke thickly.
"You crashed near where we were vacationing." Answered Brendan, gruffly. "Whole place is a mess. Can you tell us how to contact your bosses?"
Ripley struggled to push up at least on her elbows, eventually succeeding. The first thing she demanded was "How is Newt? And Bisphop?"
"The half-a-man?" asked the horse-faced woman, then shook her head "By-the-way, I'm Ivy. Sorry but the crash broke what he was in. The little girl is alright, we think. My husband thought it best to wake you first. Is she your daughter?"
Unsure of her surroundings, the survivor answered with a half-truth "Adopted, but yes. I'm Ripley. Sigourney Ripley. I'll answer as best I can, but first help me check on her."
"Of course." Mr. Gugley pretended to be helpful, hiding his impatience. And smirked at the quick view of nipple under what was little more than a sports bra. He didn't quite grope the woman's rear, while helping her to the young girl's chamber.
What they saw made everyone gasp in horror, though Endora felt decidedly put out "She was supposed to be my sister!" Newt's shirt, and abdomen underneath, were torn apart …from the inside. Gore was splattered all over mostly the inside of the chamber.
"Shit! And after all she'd been through!" Ripley cursed, punching the chamber and not caring that she bloodied her own hand. After a minute of mournful rage addressed her rescuers "I don't know what planet this is, but we need to get out of here and get help. NOW! The creature that came out of Newt will be full sized in hours. That's three meters or more. Teeth and claws and a bad attitude. I bet vacationers don't have so much as a pea shooter, let alone an automatic machine gun. Take me to your nearest military base and get all four of us safe. Oh for fucks sake!" Her last complaint caused by the young girl throwing up.
Mrs. Gugley protested "You leave my daughter alone you great bully!"
"I want it abundantly clear!" Ripley got in the woman's face growling "Newt dealt with those monsters for months. All alone before we could help. And unless we are VERY LUCKY all of us will look like that brat of yours. Now! Let's get moving!"
Hazed, and yes, bullied to their vehicle, the Gugleys were rather appalled by what they saw. Brendan grumbled "That crash of yours made a wreck of my luxury BMW. £100,000 of car! What are you going to do about it?"
"Internal combustion engine?" the crash survivor was astonished "May as well be horse-drawn. Lucky I'm mechanic-rated. Pull out whatever tools you got. Then pray we can get out of here alive." She did not even spare a thought over the occasional leer the fat man directed at her skimpily-clad body. Just giving curt commands for tools as needed. And once it was running, even clunkily, ordered the family "Get in and drive."
Mr. Gugley protested in a rage "You call this fixed! Dents and scratches everywhere! And that is NOT the way my engine is supposed to soun- - -! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!" The scream was caused by a rapier-like claw slice into his body. Though, not quite through, the man was too fat for that. Repairing the car had just taken too long. At least Brendan was granted the mercy of death. The monster seized all three human females and spit in each face in turn. Claw at it as they might, the gunk solidified and they could only suffer.
Meanwhile, far far away, young Danny Kotter was taken to his new boarding school early when his Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin never returned.
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"What you wrote! Harry, nobody could possibly act that way." Hermione objected "And that is barely …those names do little to disguise your relatives.
He couldn't help giggling "I really like Auntie Poison Ivy, don't you? Still kept to Gramma Evans' name rules about plants."
"Well, sure proves our point about Muggles." Came from the Slytherin member of the audience, quite pleased with his point.
Ron snapped "Who asked your opinion Zabini?"
"Now now." Harry interposed himself between his friend and the Slytherin "I'd agree with him …not in full, Zabini. And yes, Hermione, it is …I think… an accurate reaction of my relatives. But, that's not how I think ALL Muggles might behave. Which also makes me wonder if we're all that sure about what we know about the Founders."
A young Slytherin demanded "What do you mean by that, Potter?"
"Simple …and sorry, I don't know your name… but they built this place a thousand years ago. Anyone ever see any writings that say Gryffindor was all pro-Muggleborn? Or Slytherin hated them? Or did he?" asked Harry. Adding "McGonagall, back in Second Year, said three of them got along great. She wasn't here then either. So, honestly, how does she know?"
A Ravenclaw said "To be honest, I never have. So valid point. I'll ask Professor Flitwick about it."
"Ok Belby." Harry acknowledged the boy who was a year or two ahead. "But, regardless, the story itself?"
Again from Ravenclaw "While violent, I do observe you managed to reduce the severity of your Nargle infection. Whether, as Hermione says, real or not, honestly it was fun to read."
"Who asked your opinion, freak?" snapped another Ravenclaw.
Harry glared "A delightful term, Edgecombe. One the Gugleys liked to use on their orphaned nephew." He spoke with an obviously forced calm "Now, why don't you …go, somewhere else?"
"It's a public space here, Potter." The girl countered.
His anger spiked, then as quickly, faded. He stood and approached the knot of Ravenclaws, pulling up the blonde girl he'd only recently become acquainted with, said "My apologies. You're right. But I'm going to a public space somewhere else. Luna join me? And, of course, anyone else can too. I really enjoy fanfiction. Glad I found it."
"I don't mean to be insulting" said a Muggleborn Gryffindor "Just an observation. I know the Alien franchise and it does take place hundreds of years in the future. How did the Nostromo end up crashing in 1991 Britain?"
Harry shrugged "Newt had a time tuner, I guess." And laughed.