Disclaimer:

I solemnly swear that the literature and works of the Harry Potter Verse belong to JK Rowling, Bloomberg and Warner Bros. The only thing I own are the one-shot ideas that popped into my head and whatever OCs I would create for them. This is a work of pure fiction made solely for fun, constructive reviews will be welcomed, flames will be ignored. Any references to characters in real-life or fiction are purely coincidental. If I could make money out of my ideas, it would be nice...

Mischief Managed Damn It!

Title: Into the Harry-verse (Working Title) Trailer 3

Posted Date: Feb 25 2023

Tags: Multi-verse Harry Potters, WBWL, manipulative Dumbledore, Slight Crack

Possible Challenge(s): 1 Gender-bent Harry Potter, 1 Squib / John-Wick Harry Potter

(Note: This one is T-Rated for Language)

Fine, let's do this one last time.

My name is Harry James Potter, son of the late James and Lily Potter. I am a wizard of the British Magical World, and for the last 2 decades, I have been Fate's bitch and Britain's throwaway doll called the Boy-Who-Lived. I was made an orphan by a delusional psychopath who decided to come after me at the age of one over a prophecy made by a sherry-drunk fraud trying to bag herself a job, and led around the nose by a fucking manipulative old bastard.

I believe you know the rest of this story.

I was raised by my magic-hating relatives for the first decade before getting whisked away by an idiotic half-giant to learn magic.

I had to survive getting attacked by trolls, Cerberus, Basilisks, Dementors, dragons and other stupid animals along with psychotic wizards.

I had to deal with the turn-table attitudes of the populace who cannot decide if I am their hero, an attention seeking liar, or an up-coming Dark Lord.

I had to deal with the machinations of an old wizard who had some grand plan to take out Voldemort by concocting my death and to try and take my family fortune away from me.

I lost a loyal friend in the form of Dobby who took a knife to his chest.

I managed to kill off the bastard who screwed my life over, along with the hook-nosed potions arsehole who could not get over a childhood grudge and tried to screw me over even on his deathbed.

Had to deal with the constant surveillance by Kingsley and the Ministry for any signs of "rebellious behaviour" that would be against the rules that were still pro-pureblood in all but name, while ensuring I was "Light".

Found out my fiance had me under potions with help from Molly "The Mouth" Weasley while she cheated on me with Dean Thomas, Michael Corner, Draco Fucking Malfoy, along with a monthly sausage party with men from all walks of life.

Found out my "buddies" were planning to screw me over, with Granger attempting to pass laws that would allow them to get my family estate and fortune once Weasley got the chance to accuse me of being a burgeoning Dark Lord, with one method being to impregnate Ginny as planned by Dumbledore for one of the contingencies to control me.

I should be surprised, yet I was not.

And you would think that by this point, some people would take the hint that I do not respond well to manipulation and treachery.

I managed to grab all the family stuff from those money-grabbing goblins along with whatever was owed to me by Rights of Conquests, ensuring I exchanged whatever goblin-made items I did not need to get the process done. I got Winky and a few elves to help me collect all the evidence on all that were going to betray me, and made sure that I was properly certified sane as I give evidence at the ICW main branch.

The rest, as some would say, was history.

I stuck around just long enough to ensure everyone got their just deserts as their reputations and names got torn down by the public along with Britain having lost its autonomy by the ICW, enjoying the irony of them getting a taste of what I had to go through all my life before going through a portal to get away from the mess. Only to find myself standing in a room with what appeared to be other versions of me facing the manipulative old bastard who was going on about how we were to help them save their world since their version of the saviour kicked the bucket and the mini-me version was forced to be their catalyst to call us from the multiverse.

Well, fuck that shit. I am not dealing with this crap again. If they want a saviour to save them, they can look for someone else. The only reason I am even helping mini-me of this dimension is because he has some common sense to get away from it all and only lacks the strength to do it the whole way. I will make sure that he can live long enough to enjoy these people having their just desserts for the crap before I go to another world.

I am Harry Potter, and I am no one's fucking saviour except to myself.