Disclaimer:

I solemnly swear that the literature and works of the Harry Potter Verse belong to JK Rowling, Bloomberg and Warner Bros. The only thing I own are the one-shot ideas that popped into my head and whatever OCs I would create for them. This is a work of pure fiction made solely for fun, constructive reviews will be welcomed, flames will be ignored. Any references to characters in real-life or fiction are purely coincidental. If I could make money out of my ideas, it would be nice...

Mischief Managed Damn It!

Title: Squib with a PHD 2 (Working Title)

Posted Date: September 4 2023

Tags: Squib / Hedge Wizard Harry, Harry with Science!, Manipulative Dumbledore, Interference Order of Phoenix, Alive / Good Potters, Good Sirius Black, Good Remus Lupin

Possible Challenges: Fake Prophecy, Bad Ronald Weasley, Know-It-All Granger, Timeline bring up a little to early 2000s, Neutral Snape (at least to Harry)

Possible Pairings: TBD

Tropes not to be used: Bad Potters, Harry going to the Dursleys

Harry let out a breath as he took in the well-cooked breakfast and a sip of the much needed tea to settle his nerves after the interrogation he had conducted the night before with the Death Eaters in the cellar. He would have cooked himself but the elves were insistent to cook breakfast with Winky stating that she would tell his mother if he resisted. That cheeky elf knew he would likely have all his cooking rights removed if his mother had anything to say about it after the fright she got from the attack.

"Pop!" Said elf appeared at his side with a curtsey. "Master James and Mistress Lily are coming over to visit. Master Black and Master Lupin are taking care of your sisters."

"I see. Thank you Winky for that, and the breakfast." Harry thanked her and continued with his breakfast, his mind going over what he learned that he could not fully appreciate the meal made by the loyal house elf.

He had gone through the interrogation with some scare tactics and some chemistry that allowed him to replicate Veritaserum without the restrictions that come with it, either the health restrictions, time restrictions or the law for usage. He did not get much information from the evident recruits outside of names and possible secrets, but it was Peterson that proved a wellspring of information. He provided names of known members, known and unknown financial backers, different methods used to get members, and more worryingly, the latest reason Harry was being targeted. After 2 hours of interrogation, Harry knocked him out with a mix of runes and knockout gas that he made on site for this, before sending him back to a different cell for more interrogation, and to play up the role for his scare tactics. It was certainly informative.

But he really needed to confirm with his parents about this.

He was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming closer before the door opened hard to reveal his mother entering the room with long strides, her vibrant red hair trailing behind in her haste and her eyes taking in every detail as she came over. Even being in her late thirties coming to forty, she was still a visage of beauty that many guys in Hogwarts would likely house a crush on, if not some wet fantasy, since she started teaching part-time as the History Professor while she focused on her main work with the Unspeakables. Lily was also known to Harry's university friends the few times she came over to visit him, with a good number voicing their surprise.

Although Harry made sure to wrack the heads of some of his male colleagues for calling her a Milf upon their first meeting. He did not need to know what they were thinking about his mother, thank you very much!

"Harry!" Lily rushed forward to check on him. "Did they hurt you? Are you sure you were not hexed or cursed? Are you eating your meals well? You are looking perky, did you not sleep well? Do I need to send you some packets of herbs?"

"Honey, I think you need to slow down and give him a chance to answer." James Potter, who could be described as an older copy of Harry with stress lines, chuckled at her rambling before clamming up at the glare delivered by Lily. "Nevermind, carry on." Harry rolled his eyes at the man's evident cowardness to his mother's temper and moved to hug her for assurance.

"Mom, I am fine. They were underestimating me. They did not even get a chance to come near me." Harry spoke calmly and firmly while enduring his mother's tight hug. "I also got some information from them."

"Right, let's hear it, then we deal with your unwanted guests." James sat down while moving Lily into a chair. Harry took his place and began talking while Winky refilled his drink and provided refreshments for his parents. He did not leave out anything about what was told, and his parents listened to what was done and talked off, James nodding at moments involving Harry's traps working and Lily looking less worried by the end of the conversation.

"Well, that is a little interesting." James commented after Harry finished off the tale. "At least we have confirmation that the Death Eaters were involved with the attack from last week. But it worries me that they knew about Dumbledore going after you. No doubt Snivellus is in on it." James's mouth curled at the thought of Snape doing this.

"It could be part of his job." Harry shrugged, having a somewhat neutral stance towards the potions master who was friends with his mother in some odd manner. He knew the man did not like his father and by extension his brother due to a rivalry that got out of hand from their school days, and not helped with Snape being involved with the Death Eaters. But in the few meetings he had with the man, he was just neutral and willing to give pointers based on potion making, commenting offhandedly that Harry had more talent in the subject than his brother despite not going to Hogwarts.

"But this is bad, now the Death Eaters are aware of you and coming for you." Lily lightly gripped her husband's hand in worry.

"Be honest with me. IS Dumbledore losing it?" Harry asked bluntly. "He has been going on about Jamie being the Boy-Who-Lived for all these years, but once he went into the coma, Dumbledore decides to go forward with Neville being the real one, only for him to end up like his parents. God bless their souls." Harry gave a light prayer at this. "He then tried to go for Rose and Ivy as the next poster children." Harry let out a growl similar to Sirius Black when he heard of it. "Then he also tried Susan Bones only to be rebuffed by Lady Amelia. Now he is coming after me to be his next poster boy. How does he get to that logic?"

James sighed heavily as he rubbed his hands against his face. "That damned senile old man... I'm going to go to my parents' bloody tomb and beg their forgiveness for ever having anything to do with that great, bloody…"

Well that was helpful.

Lily took over from seeing the look on Harry's face. "You may recall that the reason we had gone into hiding during the previous war and your brother is called that silly moniker." Harry blinked at that bit.

"Wait, he is basing all of this on a prophecy that we have yet to hear about, and is a woolly subject at best?" The disbelief was strong in his words.

"True, he has been very secretive about the wording, and if I am honest, I am having doubts about the existence of such a prophecy since I have yet to find the physical copy in my department." Lily admitted. "We do not know the exact wording, but the general gist of it is about a child having the power to vanquish the dark lord, and that child is born as the seventh month dies." Harry cupped his hands together and rested his chin on them as he considered the wording.

"That is random. He must be leaving some lines out because that leads to anyone born around the end of July." Harry considered it. "But if that were the case, Rose and Ivy would not be pushed into this. They were not born in July."

"That part I might have a guess." James seemed to come out of his funk. "I had been having some thoughts about the scars that Jamie and you have." Harry unconsciously moved his hand to his forehead where an old scar in the form of a lightning bolt was, supposedly from the night his family got attacked and started this whole mess. "Dumbledore was unusually intent on checking on Jamie's scar for the few months after that night, and after this debacle, he started going on about you, asking about visions or dreams, or your scar itching."

"I don't recall having any weird dreams." Harry frowned as he considered the information. "And the scar does not hurt as far as I know. Maybe an itch or two if the skin broke, but nothing so dramatic."

"Jamie has claimed about his scar aching a few times when Voldemort was supposedly around." Lily took over the explanation. "Dumbledore says that the curse used on the two of you may have left some of his magic on the both of you. But I am not sure if that is true since I could not find anything. Then again…" Lily paused but Harry understood. It was discussed during his childhood that the attack could have damaged his core and thus led him to have issues drawing it out properly, labelling him a hedge wizard at best and a Squib at worst.

At least he had a family and friends willing to support him, and thanks to his education and muggle connections, he helped in whatever manner he could to save them, and at times baby-sitted his little sisters when the parents were not around. Even if his relationship with Jamie was a little strained in the beginning with him getting attention for magic and Harry being a Squib, they were still on good terms thanks to their parents. Lily for one made it Very Clear that Harry was still their son, and there would be no harassment or wrong displays of sympathy.

Other families were not good towards Squibs to say the least.

Harry suddenly twitched and turned to face the wall on the West Side, his eyes narrowing. "Harry?" His parents blinked at his reaction, even more when Harry reached to activate a screen on the wall.

"Were you in the presence of others outside of Sirius and Remus when you got my call?" Harry asked tersely. James immediately brought his wand out and tested them both for tracking spells.

"No, only us four and…" Lily paused and closed her eyes. "Dora."

"Sirius will be having words with her. And Remus is going to be disappointed." James had a grimace as he stopped waving. "Your wards managed to stop the tracking spell. This was a delayed tracking spell so it did not show up initially on our scans but as it was active for a while before we entered the building, it may be enough for someone to backtrack."

"And I might know who is coming." Harry spoke as Winky appeared with her hands in knots from the obvious worry.

"Masters and Mistress, the Headmaster is here to see you ."

"Got it, Winky." Harry nodded at her reply and at the screen showing the image of Albus Dumbledore walking into view, his robes practically blowing the Statute of Secrecy apart, yet he walked on without hesitation or even care of that. He paused to look up and settled on the camera, likely knowing that it was a device to allow them to see him and waiting for his entrance. He also knew the man was more likely to force his way in to get his side of the argument heard, whether they liked it or not. "Thank you for the breakfast and tea. We would be handling our guest, could you alert the other elves for assistance? Thank you."

"I swear, we had no idea." James tried to apologize.

"I was already expecting him to come at some point, based on Peterson's testimony. I would guess that Tonks had alerted him and he decided to come straight up. Good thing I actually stay in a different building altogether, the last thing I need is for him to come straight into my apartment without any permission." Harry let out a sigh and got up from the chair, feeling annoyed at the thought that they had to resort to using different buildings to meet up just in case this actually happened.

Time to meet the wizard.

The trio went to the room that he normally set for incoming magical guests, where Harry pressed a few runes behind a hidden panel to activate the magical defences about the room, and then used a remote to activate the automated defences just in case. They were talking about the man who could likely disable them without a bother. "I see Alastor has gotten to you." James joked in good nature.

"Constant Vigilance." Harry's mouth twitched. They waited for a few minutes before the house elf popped in along with Dumbledore in all of his eye-watering splendour, his own eyes twinkling at the sight of them.

"Ah James, Lily. How fortuitous to find you here, and of course." His eyes looked to Harry who had the impression of being looked under a microscope. "Harry, how nice to meet you."

"I was under the impression that you would rather I don't exist." Harry raised an eyebrow at this. It irked him in his childhood that this man insisted on sending him to the Dursleys while his parents focused solely on Jamie, with him trying to state that he would be jealous of his brother, but actually saying that he was a distraction in a different room. Thankfully his parents were more supportive and made sure to include him in other manners, and thanks to runes, he found a way to use magic differently, even learning thaumaturgy for his own use.

Lily for one tried to scalp Dumbledore's beard with a blunt blade for suggesting what he said.

"No, my boy." Dumbledore got interrupted by Harry raising his hand in a stop motion.

"Skip your speech and attitude, and just say your piece. We are not in the mood for your games, and I am not your boy." For a moment, the twinkles went out of Dumbledore's eyes before the man continued politely but with an edge that showed he did not like the rebuke or possibly the fact that Harry was not giving him the due respect he was likely expecting.

"As you were no doubt told about it, there is a prophecy that has been at the heart of this war for some time now, one that I have gone through many times to understand. Simply put, I had thought your brother was the one fated to defeat Voldemort." His parents flinched at the name while Harry maintained his closed expression, a fact that Dumbledore noted but continued. "But in regard to your brother's recent predicament, I have been checking the prophecy and realise that it meant someone else, mainly you."

"On what parameters are you basing this on?" Harry narrowed his eyes at the old wizard. "What is the prophecy's wording?"

"My boy." Dumbledore ignored the glare from him for using those words. "It is too dangerous to say it out loud, the fewer to know the better."

"That is bullshit, and you know it. For years, you kept claiming that Jamie was the Boy-Who-Lived, supposedly your apprentice despite my family knowing the truth of the matter. But after he went into the coma, you switched gears and started pushing out Neville as the real one. Do you recall the newspaper headlines when that happened? The people called him the Backup–Boy-Who-Lived, and later the Bottom-Who-Got-Crucified when Voldemort attacked him and sent him to his parents in the ward." Harry spoke while maintaining his tone and level of voice. "After that, you went for Amelia's niece and my sisters to act as other backups." That last part was let out as a hiss. "And now you come here, acting as though it was a genuine mistake. I don't think so, there is a card you are not showing in your deck, and I don't like it. And I repeat, I am not your boy." Dumbledore gave a rather annoying smile like he was humouring him.

"At any rate, you are in danger from Voldemort finding you." Harry had to wonder if the man was trying to piss him off. "And it is fortuitous that your parents are here. I will bring you to a place where you can be guarded and…"

"Hold it, Dumbledore." Harry had to interrupt by that point, a little surprised at the wizard's audacity to order him around without any input. "You are not the boss of me, and I am pretty safe where I am. Given your track record for safety and secrecy, I doubt you can protect me as well as you think. If you are thinking about this place, this is more of a meeting place for me to meet others, not my actual living space. And I do know that the only way for the Death Eaters to come here unannounced would be through Severus, and that means through you ordering him to give up the location to act the spy role." Harry's eyes were narrowed at that point. "And while I don't know how you come to the conclusion of me being the subject of this prophecy you refuse to speak about, I do know that people will not accept the idea of a Squib or a hedge wizard to be their saviour unless they become a scapegoat. So no, I won't be going wherever you say to 'protect' me."

"Harry, my boy."

Snap!

Dumbledore went down to the floor hard and fast while Harry maintained his place but with his hand raised and fingers in the snapped position. Lily was startled but a hand on her arm by James stopped her from coming forward.

"Dumbledore, you can act like you're better than everyone, but as a guest who decided to gate crash without an invitation, you are being very rude. When the host tells you not to do something, you listen." He snapped his fingers again and Dumbledore, who was slowly moving to bring out his wand, found himself flung upwards to the ceiling, hitting it hard with his back and dropping his wand in the process.

"You are used to working with my brother, I get that. I am not him. I also know the arrogance that most wand users like yourself have towards hedge wizards or Squibs like me. Don't patronise me." Harry walked over to the wand to pick it up and looked up while twirling the wand.

"Now that I have your attention, let me say this. You may be the leader of a resistance group against Voldy, but you absolutely suck in leading and protecting your people. Jamie is my brother even if we are not on the best of terms on certain occasions, and Neville is one of my relations. You have failed them both, and then I hear that you have tried to go for Susan Bones and have the audacity to come for my sisters." His eyes were glowing slightly, and unseen by him, the wand in his hand started to give out sparks. "If you are insisting on this nonsense, that is one thing. But don't you dare think that you can order me and my sisters around, else what I did to the Death Eaters who tried to attack me? They will be a footnote as to what I will do to you. Got it?"

Dumbledore looked angry at the manner he was being treated, but decided to answer. "Yes, Mister Potter. You made your point, however rude you were." Harry ignored the man and just snapped his fingers to let him down on his feet. "May I have my wand back, please?" Dumbledore gestured for his wand.

Harry twirled it briefly before moving to the table that was a little further from them to place the wand on top of it. "Here, take it and leave." Dumbledore moved forward while he moved back, pausing by the table as the elderly wizard looked at him.

"I will overlook your rudeness this time, but you should know that we will be keeping in touch with you. You are the chosen one, and you will be dragged into this war one way or another. You would do well to find new accommodations before other guests come." Dumbledore reached for the wand and the Potters tensed briefly in case the wizard tried something, but he just grabbed it and kept it in his sleeve before he moved to where the elf was waiting to get him out of the room. "Until we meet again, Harry." With that last bit, the elf grabbed him and they left before the Potters could say a word.

"Bloody interfering goat." James grumbled at this. Lily was going to open her mouth when Harry raised his hand to his lips in a shushing position and twirled his other hand before pointing to his ear. James nodded and started to scan for listening charms or other spells. Several spots appeared about the room, but mostly where Dumbledore stood earlier. "Damn that guy. He managed to lay out this many listening and location spells in this short time."

"And I would bet that I would have other visitors coming shortly afterwards to attempt persuasion." Harry huffed before bringing out a spray bottle to tackle those on his end, the spells fizzing out from each spray. His parents helped to remove the other spells about the room, but that was likely a futile attempt to delay the inevitable. Even though this was not the place he was sleeping at, it was still close to the real apartment. He would need to prepare for the possibility of leaving his home away from home at some point.

Damn this war.

Damn Voldemort and the Death Eaters

Damn Dumbledore and his bloody convoluted schemes.

Damn it all.