Chapter 8 - How to Care for Your Adopted Inu-Youkai.
CW: Drug use; Racism
Inuyasha spent the rest of his Saturday helping Miroku clear out the junk from the spare bedroom for some sleep in a real bed for once. Despite only needing very little sleep, he managed to oversleep by four hours. Honestly, it was much needed after everything he'd been through. After a long shower the night before, he'd changed into the spare t-shirt that Miroku lent him and a pair of shorts, leaving the clothing he'd been wearing for the last three days in a corner on the floor. As he slept, the bandanna covering his ears managed to slip off, leaving the tell-tale sign of his youkai heritage completely on display in the light of the morning sun.
It was around that time that Auntie Chieko had woken up to start on a few light chores. She had already gathered a basket full of clothing from Rin and Miroku's rooms. Now all that was left was to wash the clothing on the floor in Inuyasha's room. Quietly, she opened the door as the teenager slept. She picked up the long uniform-style jacket, it absolutely reeked and she was for sure that the dark stains were blood of some kind. Why on Earth would his jacket be bloody? Next to the jacket, she found his red sleeveless tank top, boxers, socks, and black chinos. All filthy, and all were quickly tossed into the basket in her hand.
She took a long look at the sleeping teen, remembering that he was here because of her dear friend, Izayoi. He certainly resembled her in the face but his attitude was completely opposite from the positive-to-a-fault woman that gave birth to him. Izayoi had a magnetic effect on people, not just because she was beautiful but also because she was a kind soul, always willing to go out of her way to help others and that's precisely how she was able to win the heart of electronics mogul, Touga Taisho. Though, she wished Izayoi hadn't gone after a married man. Chieko adjusted the claw clip holding up her chin-length salt and pepper bob haircut. After two kids, the unexpected death of her eldest daughter, and a marriage of 28 years, the forty-five year old mother wore those gray hairs like a badge of honor. Though long-past her prime and give or take about fifty pounds heavier than her younger self, Chieko was nothing but happy just being a homemaker. Her family was her pride and joy after all.
Right before Miroku's mom was about shut the door, she noticed something odd poking out near the sleeping teen's head, two ears like cat ears, white and fluffy. Her pleasant expression morphed into one of annoyance, thinking that Rin had 'adopted' another stray cat without telling her. Quickly, she shuffled to the front of the bed to get whatever animal the ears belonged to away from Inuyasha while he slept. She jerked the covers hiding the boy's face and that's when she let out a scream that woke the entire house up, on a Sunday at 7:00 AM.
Miroku was the first to wake up as his room was right next door. "Mom, what's wrong?!" He yelled, running to assist his mom's call of distress. Rin followed her brother's lead, and he could hear his dad hurry up the stairs as fast as he could. The family found Chieko in the corner of the room, the basket of dirty clothes spilled over beside her. "His ears!" She spoke with shock in her voice. "Inuyasha's ears!"
Unable to sleep through the commotion, Inuyasha finally woke up. "Yeah, what about my ears?" He said in a grumpy tone. It was then that he realized that the bandanna had slipped off and he was exposed. "Fuck." he muttered under his breath in perfect English.
The family gathered at the table for an impromptu family meeting. Inuyasha sat at the far end of the table, arms crossed as the family, sans Miroku observed him like he was an alien. In that moment he might has well have been a little green ghoul from outer-space with the way they kept poking at his ears as if unconvinced that they weren't a real part of his body.
"Can you all cut it out already!" The teen hollered, annoyed at the poking.
"And you knew about this, Miroku?" Kyo spoke, focusing his attention on his son.
"Well, yeah." Miroku chimed in. "I mean just look at him, the white hair, golden eyes, and what human boy has teeth like this?" he said, forcibly opening Inuyasha's mouth to show off the teen's abnormally sharp canine teeth. Inuyasha smacked Miroku's hand away.
Kyo sat down in his chair, completely confused at what he just saw. "Inuyasha is a youkai. A youkai. youkai are real. We have one, living here."
"Told you I wasn't crazy, pops. And you wanted to pawn me off on Mushin as soon as I brought up the fact that I can see these creatures. I believe vindication is in order?"
"Not now, Miroku." Kyo commanded. "Now what to do with Inuyasha. The neighbors cannot see him like this, nobody can." Kyo looked at Inuyasha. "How do you even exist?!" He yelled, still trying to wrap his head around the real-life youkai living in his house.
"Well, funny story about that." Inuyasha started to speak, leaning back in his chair. "My parents fucked."
"Or do you need me to sugar-coat it for the brat? How about this, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..."
"Stop, Inuyasha. I think they get it." Miroku said. Cutting off the sarcastic hanyou teenager.
Chieko, her nerves finally calmed down, was able to regain her composure while she poured a little bit of cream into her morning coffee. "Inuyasha-kun." She began. "Tell me the truth, is your father also a youkai?"
Inuyasha nodded. "All pureblood youkai have the ability to cloak into a human form if needed. It's likely that mom had no idea she was having an affair with a youkai until I was born with these." He said, pointing to the dog ears on his head.
"I think its kinda cool." Rin spoke up. "It's like we have another pet now. A regular dog and a man-dog."
Inuyasha shot the thirteen year old a death-glare. "I ain't no pet, brat."
"Well, all that matters now is that you're here and safe, Inuyasha-kun." Chieko said in between sips of her coffee. "I have your clothes and bandanna in the wash, you can get dressed once they're dry."
"That's it, Chieko? You're just going to let him live here knowing what he is? Shouldn't we call the authorities, Area 51? Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack?" Kyo balked at his wife's nonchalant attitude towards their hanyou guest.
Chieko walked up to her husband, her face in a scowl. "What he is, Kyo dear, is family. End of discussion."
"Does that mean we're done here, Dad?" Miroku yawned. "Its my day off and I'd rather be sleeping right now."
"Yeah, you can go back to your room. After all this, I think I may need to lie down too." Kyo answered his son. Adjusting his glasses, he rubbed the temples of his head. The situation with his godson was going to take some time to get used to.
Later that afternoon, Miroku parked his car on the curb outside of Jimmy's house. He hoped the guys wouldn't be too pissed off at him for missing practice due to community service for three weeks in a row. He reached behind the passenger seat to pick up his guitar case. Acknowledging Inuyasha in the front seat, Miroku began to speak.
"Well, this is it. My friend Jimmy's place. Come on, lets have you meet the guys."
"Alright. Just so you know I only agreed to meet your friends today so I can avoid your dad." Inuyasha responded.
"Noted. No worries, I think you'll get along just fine with them. I'll do the translating for Andy and Stony but you can talk to Jimmy, he understands quite a bit of Japanese."
Miroku and Inuyasha then stepped outside of the Camaro. The boys trudged up the long circular driveway of Jimmy's parent's Mc Mansion where Jimmy's absolute babe of a stepmom, Carrie, was watering the flowers in the garden near the front entrance. The twenty-something blonde woman bent over with the watering can to get the roots of the flowers. A walkman was clipped to the side of her baby blue spandex leggings. Miroku couldn't help but gawk at the smoking hot woman in front of him. If he had any less tact, he would've grabbed that fantastic ass of hers right then and there. Goddamn, Mayor McFadden was a lucky man to be able to tap that every night. Carrie looked up from the inpatients in the flowerbed. Placing the headphones around her neck, she addressed Miroku. "Hey, Miroku! If you're looking for Jimmy, he's in the garage with the others. How's your mom and dad by the way?"
"Same as ever. Still drilling me about going back to school."
"Well, you should. Education is important. I know I almost had to drag Jimmy by the ear just to get him to sign up for classes at the community college this fall. You better hurry though, the deadline will be here before you know it."
"Thanks for the advice. See you around, Carrie."
"You boys are welcome to go inside if you're hungry, I just went grocery shopping and bought more snacks. There's pizza rolls and otter pops in the freezer, help yourselves!" Carrie yelled as the boys headed to the direction of the garage.
"That's your friend's mom?" Inuyasha questioned.
"Step mom, Jimmy's parents are divorced. Saw you staring by the way. Just so you know, her ass is real but the boobs are fake. It's all silicone there, buddy."
"Keh, like I wanted to know that." Inuyasha responded, his cheeks slightly pink from embarrassment at being caught red-handed.
Once they made it to the garage, Miroku tapped on the metal door five times in a rapid pattern, signaling to the guys inside to let him and Inuyasha in. The garage door lifted open with a motorized creak. Jimmy and the other members of Gladius were sitting on the garage couch and in lawn chairs downing some beers.
Stony tossed Miroku a bottle of Coors from out of the igloo cooler. Miroku quickly caught it in midair, he grabbed the bottle opener off of his car keys to open the bottle. The bottle cap made a pop noiseas it was opened. He slowly nursed the beer bottle, making sure that the contents inside didn't overflow from the opening. He sat the beer aside for a minute. "Hey Stony, toss me another one of those would you?"
Stony nodded as he threw another beer Miroku's way. "Here. Drink up." Miroku said, handing the open beer to Inuyasha.
"I can't drink this. I'm underage."
Miroku laughed, picking up his beer from the concrete floor. "Dude, relax. We all are underage except Stony over there, he just turned 21 in January."
"When in Rome I guess.." Inuyasha shrugged as he took his first sip of beer on American Soil.
Miroku sat down in one of the empty lawn chairs. "Hey guys, sorry I didn't make it last Friday, or the Friday before that."
"By the way, this is Inuyasha he's sort of a cousin of mine from Japan who is currently staying with us for the time being. Cool if he chills here with us? He doesn't speak English very well so he'll mostly just keep to himself." Miroku asked, introducing his new housemate and friend.
The band mates nodded in unison. "Yeah, I don't mind at all. My garage is your garage." Jimmy spoke up, giving the white-haired teenager a nod." Inuyasha nodded back, finding a seat in the lawn chair next to Miroku.
Stony took a swig of his beer. "I would usually say don't worry about missing practice but you know we need all the time we have to practice if we are ever going to meet our deadline to get our battle of the bands spot at Meridian. I'm not angry, just a little cheesed off that you didn't even call us with a warning beforehand. I mean, you told Jimmy but kept Andy and me in the dark. Not cool."
Andrew nodded in agreement with Stony. "Yeah, what the hell man? You need to let us know this shit."
"So how's trashman duty?" Jimmy joked, fiddling around with the frets on his guitar.
"Oh not too bad, the guys I work with make it less of a hell on Earth and we're not as heavily supervised as I thought. But, something amazing happened on Friday."
Jimmy's ears perked at Miroku's announcement. "Amazing? Do tell."
"Even better! Read it and weep, men!" Miroku chirped, slamming down the piece of paper with Sango's phone number on the pool table.
"I met a really cute girl, and I got her number."
"Nice, real nice." Jimmy responded. "So, she a college babe?"
"Nope, high school. I ran into her outside of St. Catherine's."
Jimmy's icy blue eyes lit up at the mere mention of St. Catherine's. Miroku knew that look all too well, Jimmy was about to go on one of his perverted tangents about slutty schoolgirls.
"You lucky son of a bitch! I swear to God, Jesus, and Mother Mary that nothing gets my dick harder than a plaid skirt and knee socks. All I can see when a girl wears that uniform is a horny little cock-slut waiting to guzzle down my cum like it was the blood of Christ himself."
Jimmy playfully elbowed Miroku in the shoulder. "So, how was she? Was she a screamer? I bet she was a screamer."
"You did end up fucking her, right?"
Miroku rubbed the back of his head. "Not exactly, she's pretty convinced on being just friends at the moment. I haven't even kissed her yet."
"So, if you didn't fuck her. Then what did you do with her?"
Miroku sighed. "Nothing, absolutely nothing. I gave her a ride home, we talked and had some coffee at her place. That's it. As enticing as screwing the sin out of Sango sounds, I don't want to move too fast."
"You're acting like you actually want to date this chick or something?" Jimmy remarked, taking another swig of his beer.
"Well, I'm pretty sure she's a virgin so..."
Jimmy spat out his beer. "A Virgin? You're telling me that you have a hard on for the one Catholic schoolgirl who's not getting dicked down every night?" The blonde began to laugh at his friend's expense. A look of confusion spread across the man's face when Miroku didn't return any laughter. "Wait, you're serious?"
"What? So I want to date Sango before boning her." Miroku remarked as he chugged the last of the backwash in the beer bottle. "What's so weird about that?"
"Nothing, you know McFadden has brain worms when it comes to women." Stony sighed in the corner, flipping his drumsticks around in his hand. "It's actually normal behavior to want to date a girl first, believe it or not."
Jimmy moved a couple of strands of his messy long hair from out of his face when he regained his composure. "It's not the dating part that sends up a red flag, Stony. Its the whole concept of 'taking it slow', It's just not like him. The Miroku Iknow would have already hit it and then some."
"Fair enough." Stony piped in as he took a drag of his cigarette. "It's not like I'm any better given my own track record. However, I'm not about to destroy a good thing with Lucinda either."
Jimmy nudged Miroku in the arm. "Hey Miroku, remember how we were late for graduation last year because we were double-teaming that one really stacked biology teacher in the janitor's closet?"
Miroku finished off his beer, sinking the bottle in the trash can through the cheap basketball hoop above it. "Ah, Leona Lundgren, it was worth the wait for that anatomy lesson. Who knew that a woman that uptight in class would be a total nympho."
"Heard Mr. Becker from study hall knocked her up and she got fired." Andrew chimed in.
"Bald ass Becker? Really? Wasn't he like married and shit?" Jimmy responded.
"He was. Ended up quitting soon after the divorce last semester. After his wife heard about the affair, she drove up and spray painted 'Whore' all over Ms. Lundgren's brand new Porsche."
Miroku picked up the piece of paper with Sango's number on it from off of the pool table, he carefully stuffed it into one of the pockets on his vest so that he wouldn't lose it.
"So, when are you going to see this chick of yours again?" Jimmy asked.
"Hopefully very soon, when we talked on the phone last night she said she would drop by my house after school on Tuesday to pick up a copy of our demo tape and the money I owe her for wrecking her bike with my car."
"You think that's a good idea? Bringing a girl into your house, remember the last time you brought a girl over, your mom flipped her shit so hard that you stayed on my couch the whole weekend." Jimmy replied.
"Well to be fair, that girl was pretty drunk when I brought her over. I really wasn't expecting my mother to be up and about at two in the morning. Besides, Sango is a parent's dream; she's smart, polite, and the valedictorian of her senior class."
"Virgin, valedictorian, really cute. So, she's pretty much out of your league then?" Jimmy sarcastically quipped.
Miroku slugged Jimmy's arm. "Say that again and It'll be two for flinching."
"Don't you two think we should get started on practicing the set list before it gets too late? Andy and I have work at two and that fucking cheese rat costume ain't going to wear itself." Stony interrupted, looking at his digital watch.
"Rat? I thought Pete E. Parmesan was a chinchilla?"
"Do I look like I give a fuck what Pete E. is supposed to be, Miroku? It's a fucking rat that lives in a child casino serving greasy rat pizza." Stony responded, annoyed at his friend's semantics.
The guys spent the next hour or so practicing the song list they were planning on using when they scored their gig at Meridian. Everything went relatively smooth by all accounts, aside from the fact that Andrew was a little late on some of his bass notes. Soon it became thirty minutes til two so Stony and Andy had to call it quits. The two other members of Gladius waved goodbye to their drummer and bassist as they drove off in Stony's '79 Malibu. Jimmy had left the garage door open so they could have a view of the street while they chilled in the garage some more. Jimmy popped in one of his longer mix tapes into the stereo on the wall. He tossed a cue stick over towards Miroku who caught the cue stick in his hand.
"Stripes or solids?" Jimmy asked, racking up the balls on the table.
Miroku chalked up the tip of his cue stick "Solids."
"So, Inuyasha." Jimmy began to speak in Japanese. "What brings you to Cali, my dude?"
"I didn't come here on my free will if that's what you're asking. My mom died and Miroku's mom is the closest thing to family that I have left."
"That's rough buddy, sorry for your loss." The blonde replied, hitting the cue ball on the pool table.
Inuyasha took a good look at James 'Jimmy' McFadden, Miroku's admitted best friend since childhood. He could see why they got along so well, they were practically the same person in different fonts. Although Jimmy was leaner, had longer and wavier hair, and was slightly taller than the warlock, they both had the same style: metal band shirts, a penchant for ripped denim, and both had piercings in each ear. Growing up in Tokyo, seeing a person with a similar hair color as himself was unusual but in the states, light colored hair was a bit more commonplace, especially in California. For Inuyasha, it was a huge change to be around so many foreigners but hopefully, he would be able to blend in okay once settled. Last thing he needed was to stick out like a sore thumb again.
"Does he know?" Jimmy asked Miroku, nodding his head towards Inuyasha.
"Know what?" Miroku replied.
"That you're a warlock."
Miroku chuckled. "That cat came out of the bag on day one. Don't worry, Inuyasha. Jimmy is cool with the supernatural. You can relax here." He reassured the teen.
"Something wrong with the guy, Miroku?"
"Other than Inuyasha being a youkai, there's nothing wrong at all."
Jimmy's eyes widened in disbelief. "No way, a real youkai? I just figured he'd bleached his hair to platinum."
"See for yourself. Hey, Inuyasha mind taking off the bandanna for a minute?" Miroku asked the hanyou teenager.
Inuyasha nodded. "It goes right back on after." He said as he pushed the bandanna back on his head to reveal his dog ears.
"Whoa, gnarly!" Jimmy responded, lips curled up into an open smile of astonishment. "So what is he some kind of dog-man?"
"Inu-youkai." Inuyasha corrected, fixing the bandanna back on his head. "Tell anyone about this, gaijin and I'll tear your head off myself."
"Noted. Your secret is safe with me." Jimmy responded, managing to sink a double-shot on the pool table.
Inuyasha continued to chit-chat with Miroku and Jimmy for the next half hour. Soon, the game of pool was set and matched to win in Jimmy's favor. Just when it was time for Inuyasha to take on the winner, Rin came running up to the open garage.
"Mom says she wants you and Inuyasha to come home. She wants us to watch the house while she and dad run errands."
"Can't you do it Rin? You're thirteen. Plenty old enough to stay home by yourself." Miroku responded, opening another beer from the cooler.
"Just come home Onii-chan so I don't have to hear anything from mom when she realizes you aren't home." She stood patiently with her arms crossed, pouting, as she watched her brother waste even more time.
Miroku looked over at his little sister. "You're not going to leave are you?"
She shook her head. "Not until you two come home."
"Fine, just go wait in the car. We'll be out soon." Miroku let out a heavy sigh as he handed Rin his car keys.
"Jimmy, finish this will ya?" Miroku said, handing Jimmy the newly open bottle of beer. The blonde nodded as he took the beer from his friend.
Jimmy quickly chugged the beer, letting out a loud belch directly afterwards. "I ain't got shit to do here, mind if I tag along with you two?"
"Knock yourself out. Just let my mom know you'll be staying over when she comes back from the store. You already know she's going to ask if you're hungry once she starts cooking dinner."
"Hold on, Rin. Be there in a minute!" Miroku yelled, interrupted by Rin honking the horn. Jimmy closed the garage door as he followed Miroku and Inuyasha to the car.
"Scoot over Rin, Jimmy's coming with us."
Rin nodded as she moved over to the far side of the backseat behind her brother.
Once inside the house, the boys retreated to Miroku's room while Rin stayed in hers to chat with her friend on the phone.
"So now what are we going to do?" Inuyasha griped, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. A puzzled look crossed the hanyou teenager's face when he noticed that Jimmy guy nod at Miroku while pressing his index finger against his right nostril.
"Oh shit! You got the stuff? How many grams did Hector sell you?"
"Three." Jimmy boasted, taking a small baggie of cocaine out of his jeans pocket.
Inuyasha's eyes widened at the sight of the illicit substance in front of them. He'd seen cocaine on film but this was the first time he'd ever seen the drug up close. "Is that what I think it is?"
"Snort?" Hell yeah it is!" Jimmy responded with a laugh as he grabbed the rolling tray from under Miroku's bed and began to section off lines of the white powder with the sharp edge of a razor blade. Taking a chopped up fast-food straw from his pocket, the blonde began to inhale the coke through his nose, body shaking with excitement afterwards. "Man, that's good shit!" Jimmy exclaimed, handing the tray and the straw over to Miroku who followed suit. Wiping his nose, the warlock attempted to pass the tray to Inuyasha. "Wanna do a line?"
Inuyasha stared at the substance for a few seconds. Marijuana and alcohol were one thing but this was cocaine. In Japan, only Yakuza and party girls in seedy nightclubs did coke. Either way, the last thing he wanted to do was look like a pussy in front of the warlock.
"You don't have to accept it you know. It's cool if you want to stay sober." Miroku reassured him.
"Feh. And let you and Blondie over there have all the fun? No fuckin' way." Inuyasha accepted the tray and straw. He began to cough as he felt the powder shoot past his sinus cavity. It burned, it burned badly. Maybe he should've stuck with weed to begin with? His thought was soon nixed as the feeling of weightlessness swept over his body, pupils dilated as the high hit him like a brick; Euphoric rather than mellow but he had no complaints thus far.
"How about it, Inuyasha...You feeling it?" Jimmy asked with a wide grin, leaning against Miroku's bed frame.
"Can't tell yet. I feel light though, as if something shocked me."
"That means its working, brah."
Inuyasha glanced over at Miroku who was scribbling something in his sketchbook. Leaning over, he observed his housemate as he drew a rough sketch of a sword-wielding busty battle babe in nothing but a loincloth mounted on a saddled sabertooth tiger. "Nice drawing, Elvis."
"Thanks. Just working on some concepts for an album cover. You think I should make her tits bigger? I feel like I should make them bigger?"
"Nah, they're just fine like that. You know what I really wanna do though?"
"What?"
"Skate." Inuyasha replied, pointing to the skateboard propped up against Miroku's closet door.
Miroku sat his sketchbook aside as he rose to his feet, grabbing the board in the process. "Alright, lets go! You ever skateboarded before?"
"No, but I'm not going to not try it at least once."
Outside the house, The three boys gathered around the ramp that the younger neighborhood kids had left out by the curb from earlier. Rin's hot pink bike helmet sat atop Inuyasha's head as he carefully placed one foot on the board. As he attempted to add the other foot, he became off-balance, causing the board to slip right out from under him. Inuyasha fell flat on his ass on the pavement with a 'thud'. "I'm trying again." he declared with a determined expression on his face. This time he was able to get both feet on the board. Carefully, the teen began to scoot with his right foot, gaining enough momentum to catch air.
"Inu-yasha, Inu-yasha!" Miroku and Jimmy cheered in unison as the skateboard carrying the hanyou teen reached full speed, despite the rocky start, he was able to make a clean landing over the tiny ramp.
"That was fun!" Inuyasha beamed. "Know any other tricks?"
"Do I?" Miroku replied. "Sure, I'll teach you. Think you're up to learn a kick flip?"
"I don't know what that is, but ok." Inuyasha handed the board to Miroku.
Just as Miroku was about to demonstrate the trick, Jimmy tapped him on the shoulder. "Don't look now but the House Nazi is out." He warned, nodding in the direction of a pasty, middle aged white man with spindly legs and a potbelly dressed in navy shorts and a vertical striped button up shirt. Harold Dvorak, aka: The 'House Nazi' was a busybody neighbor from the next street over who just so happened to be the Homeowner's Association president. The man was knocking on other neighbor's doors and issuing citations for block violations; Minuscule, nit-picky things like grass that was a few inches longer than permitted by the block charter, doors that weren't approved colors, bikes, boats in the driveway...etc. After writing nice old Mr. Abernathy across the street a citation for not picking up all the pears that recently fell from the tree in his front yard, Harold zeroed in on the three young men standing near the makeshift ramp. Adjusting his glasses, he approached the teens. Notepad at the ready to issue citations for skateboarding after 7PM.
"Are you boys aware of what time it is?" He said in a gruff voice.
"It's 7:30." Jimmy responded.
"Wasn't talking to you, Hippie. I was talking to those two other troublemakers." Harold barked, pointing to Miroku and Inuyasha. Harold took a good look at the two teens, taking instant notice of the ramp behind them. "What is that?!"
"A ramp." Miroku replied. "It's not ours though. It was already out here from the Nelson's kids earlier today."
"I don't give a flying fuck who made the ramp, Boy. It's a citation." Harold scribbled on his notepad, handing the ticket to Miroku. Miroku looked at the ticket. His brows furrowed when he realized how much the man charged him for the ramp.
"$300!? For a ramp that we didn't even make?! You're out of your damn mind, Harold! This is extortion!"
"Oh, and another citation for skateboards after 7PM." Harold responded, handing another citation to the young man. "You've got 90 days to pay that up."
Harold focused his attention on Jimmy again. "I don't know why a white boy from a good family like yours would ever run around with slant-eyed punks like those two. Clearly, two nukes weren't enough."
Miroku felt himself get increasingly angrier, that shithead wasn't going to get away with the uncalled for attack on his heritage. In a show of defiance, he tore up the citations. "We ain't paying shit, Go fuck yourself, you racist old dick!" He yelled, approaching Harold as the middle aged man walked away. Miroku flexed his fists, ready to kick the man's ass to the curb. Jimmy stopped his friend by holding his arms back. "Don't do it, Miroku. That old douche ain't worth it."
Miroku calmed himself down. Jimmy was right. If he attacked Harold, he'd just end up in jail again. His lips curled into a wry smile as he suddenly got the perfect idea for revenge. "I got an even better idea. Follow me to the backyard."
In the backyard, Miroku approached one of Hachi's many dirt holes and scooped up a cluster of fresh, fat, dog turds with a shovel. "Got the bag, Jimmy?"
Jimmy nodded, handing an empty brown paper lunch bag to Miroku. "Here you go, hope you got some extra soft ones."
"Oh yeah, this is gonna burn like a shit sparkler." Miroku chuckled as he tossed the turd cluster in the bag. "Let's up the ante though." he said, taking a roll of leftover firecrackers from New Years out of the tool shed. Carefully, he twisted the top of the bag to where the fuse of the firecracker roll stuck out.
Inuyasha looked at the turd bomb-in-a-bag, he didn't quite follow what the two other guys were going to do with the poop in a bag. "So, what are you gonna do with that again?"
"Nothing much, just going to give Harold a little neighborly present for his 'citations'."
Carefully, the three young men headed to the end of the street. Stealthily, they crept to the bushes bordering Harold's home. It looked like the lights were still on and the car was in the driveway. Miroku zoomed to the front door to light the bag. Once the bag was fully lit up like a torch, he rang the doorbell and headed back to the bushes to join the others. "Should be any second now..."
Harold, already in his pajamas, answered the door and right when he noticed the bag on fire below him, the first of the firecracker roll went off in a chain reaction. Flaming bits of Hachi's excrement splattered all over the man and his front porch. Angry, he stomped out the remainder of the flaming bag with his shoes. "YOU GODDAMN PUNKS! WHEN I FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, I'LL KILL YOU!" Harold yelled, heading back inside his house to dial 9-1-1 on the pranksters.
Miroku, Jimmy, and Inuyasha began to roll around laughing in the bushes. "Oh man, did you see it when that shit got all over him?!" Miroku wheezed, holding his belly.
"The look on that old dick's face was.. Man! if only I had a camera to capture that!"
All three of the men went silent as they heard the sound of police sirens in the distance.
"Shit! I think he called the cops on us." Jimmy panicked. "We better book it!"
Miroku nodded. "Yeah, lets get the hell outta here."
When the trio of youths made it to Miroku's house, his parents had just arrived from town with five large bags of mulch and a case of pink roses to add to the flowerbeds out front. With a smug smile, the warlock watched as the police zoomed past his street. His coke high had already subsided and he was starting to feel extremely hungry.
"What are you making for dinner, mom?" Miroku asked his mother while he grabbed two of the mulch bags from the top.
"I was thinking curry rice tonight, it is a little chilly outside and your father requested it while we were at the nursery."
"Hey Jimbo, you down for curry rice?" Miroku asked Jimmy over his shoulder.
"Like I'm going to say no to your mom's cooking? Come on, Miroku." The blonde laughed, helping Inuyasha, and Miroku take the rest of the mulch and flowers to the shed. Miroku paused for a minute, noticing a slight pout on Inuyasha's face as the teen loaded the last of the bags in his arms. "Something wrong, Inuyasha?"
"I hate spicy food." He griped, shutting the door of the station wagon to follow the rest of the family inside.
80's Slang/General Glossary
Snort - Cocaine
Unsolved Mysteries – A nightly informative true crime serial hosted by Robert Stack that ran from the late 80s to the late 90s.
80's Mix Tape: Track 8
Loverboy – Working For The Weekend