Okay okay guys this here is an Idea i've teased time and time again and again and all i'll say is this I hope you all enjoy! and be sure to leave in the comments things you wanna see some characters will be genderbent some won't and some won't even be featured at all.
The sea rocked gently as the waves pounded against sharp rocks, while a colossal fortress was propelled forward by enormous propellers. Flying creatures, including bats, bird-like crows, and massive amphibious animals, followed closely behind as the fortress approached a gigantic island shaped like a horse. The fortress began to descend in front of a massive factory bristling with cannons at the top as the drawbridge of the castle creaked open, a horde of goblin-like creatures poured out, some short and stout, others tall and lanky. Alongside them, massive lion-like centaurs charged forward, roaring ferociously. They all lined up in a perfect formation, led by a small green being with a huge grin, sporting oversized glasses, a red and black jumpsuit, and a flowing red cape. This little figure floated on a platform equipped with rocket jets.
"Behold, Bokoblins, Moblins, Lynels, and beyond! Witness now The Princess of Hyrule!" The green man announced, causing all the Monsters to snap to attention. A Teenage Girl with flowing blonde locks, deep burgundy eyes, clad in a pink and white dress, and wielding a massive staff adorned with three upside-down triangles, made her grand entrance. Some of the bokoblins nervously gulped as she approached the front of the factory.
"UNLOCK THE GATES! Or face the consequences," she declared in a chilling tone. The factory gates swung open, and a horde of pinatas poured out, led by a small green frog pinata wearing a hardhat. "Charge!" the frog bellowed, and the pinatas surged forward, bombarding their enemies with candy. "Take that!" they taunted, as the Princess and her green-skinned ally exchanged bewildered glances as the 'attack' did nothing to harm them. Meanwhile, the pinatas brought out a catapult and launched a watermelon at the green man, who deftly dodged it, causing chaos among the enemy ranks. The frog confidently raised his hand and elevated himself. "that just a glimpse of our strength! do you yield?" he asked dramatically, while the princess chuckled. "Never!" she retorted with a cold smirk.
"Fawful, take care of it," she instructed her companion, who promptly took out a ray-gun and shot the pinata holding them in place, sending them flying away from the factory gate as the Bokoblins closed in with their weapons aimed at the pinatas. The princess wielded her staff, a dark magic began to swirl within it. With precision, she directed the staff towards the factory gate and released a destructive blast of energy, demolishing the wall in a spectacular display of power.
The frog let out a cry of despair as a bokoblin held him back, the Princess confidently advancing towards a colossal tank filled with shimmering Silver-white liquid. With a sinister grin, she declared, "At last, the Platinum Honey syrup belongs to me!" With a swift motion of her staff, she directed a surge of energy towards the tank, causing the syrup to flow out and transform into a massive round candy wrapped in silver with a striking blue zigzag pattern.
The princess snapped her fingers, commanding the monsters to bring the pinatas into the castle. A pair of Lynel with majestic white manes and golden bodies swiftly grabbed the candy, carrying it with them. Fawful approached the Princess, bowing before her.
"Princess Zelda! That was the final power source we need for our true plan!" he exclaimed with a grin. Zelda chuckled in response. "Indeed, my dear Fawful. However, we both know it's not the true last source of power," she said. Fawful pressed a button on his glasses, revealing a picture of a magic wand with a star at the tip.
"Oh, yes! How could I forget the Star Rod? Its powerful magic can grant any wish to its wielder. The key to unlocking its latent powers lies with Princess Peach, entrusted by the star spirits!" Fawful exclaimed, showing a picture of a woman with long blonde hair, bright sky blue eyes, and a bright pink dress.
Zelda's eyes burned with fury as she fixed her gaze on the image before her, scowling deeply at Fawful before speaking.
"Fawful, how far are we from the Mushroom Kingdom?" Her question wiped the smile off Fawful's face.
"Unfortunately, M'lady, we are still half a month away, even with the Castle's thrusters at full power," he replied, causing Zelda to growl in frustration. "But fear not, we have more than enough power to launch our assault when the time is right," Fawful spoke as she gave a sinister grin as they made their way back to the castle.
"Nobody will stand in my way of becoming the queen of the world!" Zelda declared with a wicked gleam in her eye.
*Elsewhere*
In a serene and quiet forest, the sun began to peek over the grassy horizon while a young boy with white hair and an orange shirt lay unconscious on the ground. The young boy let out a soft moan as he started to wake up. "Lisa? Clyde?" he mumbled, sitting up and massaging his aching head. "Where am I? Is anyone there?" he called out, slowly realizing that he was all by himself... or was he?
A voice suddenly saying "Please do not yell otherwise your screams of abject terror will attract mosquitos" which interrupted the boy's confusion. Startled, the boy looked around and asked, "Who said that?"
The voice responded, "Down here on your wrist, connected to the hand you probably use for masturbation." The boy blushed, realizing his smart watch was the source of the mysterious voice, with a glowing yellow eye staring back at him.
"AAAHHH!" he cried out, falling back in shock. The watch continued, "As I mentioned before, your screams might draw mosquitoes, but if we're lucky, they might attract something else to feast on you slowly and painfully instead," in a rather sarcastic tone.
"who...who are you? and where am I?" The boy asked his watch, which rolled it's single eye in annoyance. "I am GLaDOS, and I have the unfortunate blessing of being the A.I Processor inside your smart watch, Lincoln Loud," the watch replied, causing the boy now known as Lincoln (let's be real, you all knew who this was) to look surprised. "As for your location, we are currently in the Forest Maze just outside the Mushroom Kingdom," she informed him.
"Mushroom kingdom?" Lincoln said before shaking his head. "We'll save the questions for later. Listen, GLaDOS, can you help me find my sister Lisa and my friend Clyde?" he asked the watch.
"If I were you, I'd be more worried about myself," she replied. Before Lincoln could ask more questions, he found himself surrounded by knights in silver armor riding massive Multicolored reptile-like creatures, all but one wielding spears.
Lincoln gave a horrified gulp as the knights aimed their spears at him.
"Hands in the air, knave! You are under arrest!" the head knight exclaimed as Lincoln raised his hands.
"Good job. Now wave them like you just don't care," GLaDOS quipped as Lincoln rolled his eyes.
*Elsewhere…again*
Clyde Mcbride let out a soft groan as he opened his eyes, only to find himself next to a small, flickering candle.
"Hmm?" he mumbled, catching the sound of hushed voices.
"He's awake!"
"Should we kick him out?"
"No, he's got dark skin like us, he's a Gerudo!"
"What if he's the next incarnation of Ganon!?"
"He may have dark skin, but he's not Gerudo. I don't even think he's Hylian, look at his ears!"
"Voe aren't allowed in town."
"But didn't Lady Urbosa and Lady Riju say this was different?"
As Clyde slowly sat up, the whispers continued, and his eyes began to adjust to the light streaming in through a nearby window.
"Hello?" Clyde called out, as the voices hushed and the heavy footsteps approached. The curtain was drawn back, revealing an incredibly tall woman with a six-pack and fiery red hair tied in a ponytail, holding a massive sword over her shoulder. Clyde couldn't help but blush at the sight before him.
"You're finally up, I see," she said in a deep yet friendly tone, letting Clyde know that she wasn't hostile.
Clyde let out a long droning "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh" before the woman raised an eyebrow. "Are you mute?" she inquired, prompting Clyde to nervously shake his head.
"Um, no, I can talk," he stammered as the woman introduced herself as Buliara. She explained that she was there to escort him to meet their chieftainess and her daughter. With no other option, Clyde reluctantly took her hand. Suddenly, he was taken aback as she effortlessly lifted him up and carried him under her arm.
Buliara escorted Clyde into an enormous chamber, and there Clyde spotted a statuesque woman with a lithe, athletic build, sun-kissed skin, flowing crimson hair braided with sea-green eyes, and lips painted in blue lipstick. She was clad in armor consisting of a vibrant, golden breastplate with shoulder guards, a gilded belt, and a blue skirt adorned with an unusual emblem. Additionally, she wore a golden headdress, three necklaces, and two gold earrings, and she was seated on a throne, casually leaning on her right arm.
Next to the woman sat a girl who appeared to be around Clyde's age, perched on a throne surrounded by stuffed walrus-like animals. The girl, with dark skin, green eyes, and elf-like ears, was seated on two cushions, hinting that she might be a bit short for the grand seat. Her long crimson hair was styled in a large pigtail with a distinctive white lock, along with two locks framing her face. She wore a crop top and a voluminous blue skirt, adorned with intricate designs and golden accents. A golden necklace with a red jewel, along with bracelets on her arms, completed her striking ensemble as adjacent to the girl's throne, there seemed to be a walrus feasting on a bowl of fruit. Buliara carefully set Clyde down on the ground before them and respectfully bowed. "Lady Urbosa, Lady Riju, I have brought the Voe that our soldiers discovered in the desert earlier today," she announced. Urbosa, the imposing woman, rose from her throne, causing Clyde to gulp nervously. Standing at an impressive 7'2, she approached him. "Well done, Buliara. Now, young man, what do they call you?" she inquired in a deep yet warm voice.
"Clyde, Ma'am. Clyde McBride," he stammered out. "Well, then young McBride! I am the Chief of the Gerudo tribe, Urbosa. And this is my daughter, Riju. Normally, men like yourself are not allowed in our little town. However, due to some unexpected circumstances, we have opened our doors to provide a safe haven," Urbosa said with a welcoming smile. Clyde suddenly felt the scorching heat as a gust of wind blew sand against his face.
Clyde looked puzzled as he questioned Urbosa, "So, you're saying I'm a Voe? I remember hearing that word before, but what does it actually mean?" Urbosa raised an eyebrow in curiosity, thinking to herself that Clyde might not be from Hyrule after all. She then cleared her throat and explained, "In Gerudo, Voe means Men, while Vai means Women." Clyde's expression shifted to one of shock as Urbosa clarified the meaning of "Voe" and "Vai". "Oh my gosh! Lincoln!" he exclaimed, leaving the three women surprised. Riju, curious, asked "Mother what is a Lincoln?", prompting Clyde to struggle with his memories. "He's my best friend, along with his younger sister Lisa. We were separated after...after..." Clyde trailed off, clutching his head in pain.
"Relax, young one, we'll do our best to help you," Urbosa reassured, turning to her daughter's bodyguard. "Buliara, please take young McBride to the sleeping quarters, get him some food and water. Tomorrow, we'll see how we can assist him with his troubles," Urbosa instructed, noticing Riju's frown. "Don't worry, my dear. Everything will be addressed in due time. Right now, let's focus on getting this young man back to full health," she explained as Buliara bowed and carried Clyde out of the throne room, leaving the Mother and daughter behind.
"Mother, I have my doubts about this Clyde McBride. I think he might be a spy from the Yiga Clan," Riju expressed, looking concerned. "I understand your concern, Riju, but I don't believe he's involved with the Yiga clan," Urbosa replied, closing her eyes. "I've been around for centuries, and I know Master Kohga very well. He's not to be underestimated, but he also has a fatal flaw," Urbosa explained, as Riju looked puzzled. "And what would that be, mother?"
Urbosa's voice was flat as she stated, "Kohga is a complete idiot. But even he wouldn't risk sending a spy during this crisis after the odd goings on with the Princess and our neighboring Tribes from across the land in deep turmoil there's something larger at play in Hyrule, something bigger than the Calamity." Riju looked on with a mix of shock and concern as her mother went on, "We'll watch over young Mcbride. If he shows any signs of Yiga influence, we'll make sure his final moments are peaceful. No child should suffer as their pawn." Urbosa explained as she stood up and gave her daughter a smile. "Now then what say we get some training down before dinner is ready?" she suggested as Riju gave a smile and a short nod of her head.
*Elsewhere again….again*
Young Lisa let out a small groan as she opened her eyes, only to be met with a blurry vision. "Ugh, where are my glasses?" she grumbled, reaching out to find them on the ground. Luckily, fortune favored her as something crashed nearby, sending her tumbling across the ground.
"Well, this is just great," Lisa muttered sarcastically as she cleaned off her sweater. She lamented the loss of her glasses and the danger she had just faced. As she searched for her glasses, she heard the sound of small footsteps. A hand, only slightly larger than hers, reached out to her, holding her glasses.
A somewhat deep British accent inquired, "Pardon me, madam, are these the spectacles you have been seeking?" Lisa recognized her glasses and accepted them with a smile.
"Oh, thank you!" Lisa breathed a sigh of relief as she put on her glasses and saw a tiny silver robot with big green eyes and a red antenna on its head.
"Goodness gracious!" Lisa gasped as she jumped up in surprise. "I apologize for startling you," the robot said politely.
"Incredible! You're a fully functional robotic operating machine!" Lisa marveled as she picked up the small robot and examined it. The robot then chuckled softly in response. "Thank you miss, although I am small my systems are fully functioning" he smiled before remembering his mission.
"Excuse me, miss, do you happen to know a person named Captain Qwark? I need to locate him urgently, it is a matter of utmost importance!" he exclaimed, prompting Lisa to raise an eyebrow. "Captain Qwark? That's an unusual name, as well as grammatically incorrect " she spoke as she placed the robot on the ground "Amazing!" Lisa exclaimed as she witnessed the smaller robot flying out of the hatch. The robot looked at her with confusion. "Have you not seen an infobot before?" it asked, to which Lisa shook her head. "No, my little metal friend. I would love to examine its mechanisms, but we're in the midst of an emergency," she responded as The infobot displayed a screen. The scene in there showed a room in a spaceship, where we see a small alien with pink skin, blue eyes and wearing a black suit. This is Chairman Drek.
" Hello, citizens of {Planet Novalias}" Drek spoke with the name of the planet being named by a computer.
"My race, the Blarg, have a small problem. Our planet has become so
polluted, overpopulated and poisonous that we are no longer able to dwell here.
But I, Chairman Drek, have a solution. We are constructing a pristine new world
using the choices of planetary components available. So, what does this mean to
you, you might ask? Using highly sophisticated technology, which you couldn't
possibly understand, we will be extracting a large portion of your planet and
adding it to our new one. Unfortunately, this change in mass will cause your
planet to spin out of control and drift into the sun where it will explode into
a flaming ball of gas, but, of course, sacrifices must be made. Thank you for
your cooperation." Drek smiled as the director yelled
"CUT!" and Drek had dropped his smile showing his true colors….but also not seeing the recording light on the camera still running.
"And if you don't like it, you can take your whiny sniveling snot nosed
populations, form a line behind me and you can kiss my-" Drek snapped as he looked to his side as he noticed one of his minions signaling him about something.
There was silence for a couple of seconds.
"Are we still on? Well turn it off, you idiot!"
The infobot was finished with the message, and it returned to the robot.
Lisa couldn't believe what she was seeing, but she was completely speechless as her thoughts started to whirl. "The Blaarg? Planet Novalis? Where am I?" she wondered, frantically searching her pocket for her phone, only to realize it was gone. "Excuse me, are you okay?" the tiny robot interrupted Lisa's thoughts. "Yes, I'm fine, but unfortunately my phone is missing. I could really use it to figure out where we are," she replied as the robot grinned. "No worries, I shall take care of that for you. We are currently on Planet Veldin in the Solana galaxy," the robot explained as Lisa pondered. "Interesting. How far are we from the Milky Way galaxy?" she inquired as the robot expressed its apologies, stating that it did not have any information about a galaxy by that name in its database. Lisa looked puzzled as she heard this. "Strange," she whispered to herself, while the robot carried on speaking.
"I regret not being able to assist in locating your home, the Milky Way galaxy, due to the spaceship problem. If we could repair it, I would be able to help you," the robot stated Lisa, however, simply smiled and gently patted the robot on his head. "Don't worry, my small metallic friend. I believe we can help each other. I will assist you in finding Captain Qwark and stopping that madman from destroying planets, if you assist me in finding my way back to my home planet," she said as she held out her hand.
"You have a deal!" the robot smiled. "Now, I believe it is time for introductions." the robot spoke as Lisa nodded confidently before speaking up, "I'm Lisa Loud, hailing from Planet Earth. Despite my youth, I am a highly acclaimed scientist who has developed groundbreaking inventions that have transformed life in my humble hometown."
"I am delighted to meet you, Lisa Loud. My full designation is XJ-0461, serial number B5429671," the robot said, as Lisa shot a slightly annoyed glance. "I appreciate serial numbers like any other scientist, but I'm afraid your name is too difficult to pronounce quickly, especially since we're about to embark on a potentially dangerous journey. So, with your permission, I'll give you a simpler, quicker name that is quick and easier to say with little to no issues Street-name: a Nickname" Lisa spoke as the robot scratched his chin.
"a Nickname? very well i see no harm in this" the robot said, moving forward and then falling down the nearby hill, creating a clanking sound. Lisa rushed down to lend a hand to the robot.
"Are you okay?" Lisa inquired.
"Yes, I am fine, thank you," the robot answered, causing Lisa to chuckle. "How about I use the name...Clank for you?" she proposed, as the robot thought about it. "Hmm, Clank? Yes, I quite like that name," he smiled as he led Lisa to the ship he had stolen all while the small genius couldn't help but think of her brother and friend.
'Lincoln….clyde….I'm sorry but finding you two will have to wait once i'm done here i'll make sure we have a way home' she thought, making a mental promise as she started to help Clank repair his broken ship.
Next time we flashback to when this all got started before we go back to Lincoln as the guards take him to their Princess!