I do not own any rights to Final Fantasy VII(7) or its characters. This work is not for profit.
For Zerachiel/Lord Shinta's/Tseng again.
Originally posted to my AO3 in 2017.
Angeal had felt awful for leaving his lover behind. He had been so wrapped up in the certainty that he was nothing but a monster, that no amount of love from anyone - neither from Tseng who he adored beyond all recognition nor from his mentee Zack who tried so hard to convince him everything would be fine - would make him better. He convinced himself that dying was the only option. That it would save on eventual heartbreak for all those involved.
What he hadn't expected was to have Zack hunt him down in the Lifestream and simply hug him tight while he cried. He didn't think anything could have prepared him for such a reaction. To have the young man angry with him for forcing him to kill him would have made significantly more sense... but his Puppy had simply hugged him close and cried. The only thing Angeal had been able to do was wrap his arms around the shaking form and tell the boy that he was sorry.
Eventually they had a long conversation about everything that had happened between Angeal's death and Zack's own. He learned of Tseng's slight crush on Zack's girlfriend, something Zack had picked up on only because Aerith was 'his girl damn it!' But after hearing the details of what Aerith was like... Angeal figured the crush was there more because the young lady was a lot like himself and Tseng probably missed him.
It was the first time he had ever considered even thinking about the love of his life missing him. The knowledge hit him like lead sledge hammer. The idea that his death had caused his lover pain... and probably still did hadn't entered the equation when he'd settled on it as his only remaining option. He couldn't believe he'd been such an ass.
But with this newfound knowledge he set about learning how to watch his loved ones from the Lifestream. Eventually he met Aerith and learned what had happened since Zack's death from a different perspective. He had mostly been watching Tseng after all, Zack's friend Cloud hadn't really been as important to him. The young half Cetra also taught him how to manipulate his own energy within the Lifestream so that he could enter the physical realm again.
He tested it out after years of practice by going to visit his best friend. Getting to talk things out with Genesis, after the man's initial surprise at his ethereal yet physical presence, was good. They were able to forgive each other for some of what they'd done and admit that it was in fact their fault that Sephiroth had gone crazy. Sure Hojo had probably planned it all out what with Jenova seeping into his mind for so long and all that, but they had been triggers when they could have helped to prevent it. They spoke of Cloud and his AVALANCHE buddies cleaning up their messes over and over again. Of how they both knew that Tseng and Cloud had developed feelings for each other. It made Angeal sad but also happy that Tseng had finally been able to find someone new. His Love needing someone else was after all, his own damn fault. He spoke to Genesis of his want to let Tseng know that he approved... but he wasn't sure how the Turk would react. And Genesis gave him some rather sound advice: He'd never know until he tried, and it would be better to know now than wait for them to enter the Lifestream as well.
With that on his mind he finally decided to visit his old lover and the young man who had filled - at least in part - the void he had put there for his Puppy and his girlfriend and his own beloved. He watched them for days trying to find a good time to pop out of the Lifestream. He knew that Cloud had been visited by both Aerith and Zack before so his reaction to his presence wasn't one he was worried about. Tseng's however... that worried him greatly, he was sure to get a knife or a bullet for his trouble... neither of which would actually harm him in any way - so it would probably be a good idea to just act like it hadn't happened.
When he finally emerged he solidified slowly in their living room as they were finishing up their dinner. Cloud was the first to notice, being used to the strange pull he felt when someone's soul split with its location in the Lifestream. However it wasn't either visitor he was used to but a man he had only seen in the pictures Tseng had managed to keep. He simply stared causing his lover to look at him with some concern before turning his own head to figure out why the blonde was staring so.
Tseng dropped the glass of wine he had been holding and shot to his feet, not having his gun on him inside his own home he flung one of his various knives that were always on his person just as the form seem to solidify in his living room. It stuck in what he was trying to convince himself was a mirage just where the heart would be. A killing strike as per his usual precision.
"If I weren't already dead..." Angeal didn't finish the sentence but simply shook his head as he stared down at the knife sticking out of his chest. He'd known it would happen after all.
"Impossible." Tseng whispered his body beginning to shake.
Cloud quickly rose from his seat and gathered Tseng into his arms, "It's alright Tseng. Zack and Aerith show up this way occasionally. Just... um, let's find out why he's here. Okay?"
Numb from the shock and fighting the urge to rush the man and either beat the shit out of him or kiss him to death Tseng could barely manage to nod his head. He was glad for his young lover's support, but could only think of him distantly as his mind was flooded with years of memories of being held in a different pair of arms.
Angeal frowned, winced slightly, and then tried his best to explain. "I know this probably wasn't the best way to go about it. But I just recently learned how to do this from Aerith. I-." Angeal's voice broke and he looked down at his ShinRa issue boots as he tried to figure out what to say. "When Zack died, he looked for me in the Lifestream. I honestly thought the boy would hate me." He shook his head still staring at his shoes and missing the wistful smile on Cloud's face. "But he didn't. Sure he was mad at me, but he just hugged me and cried."
He looked up at his Love with a sad sigh, "I hadn't thought about anyone missing me after I was dead. I was so convinced I was too much of a monster for anyone to care that much that it never occurred to me. I'm so sorry Tseng."
There was dead silence as Tseng seemed to absorb the information and then the Wutain man's eyes narrowed and Angeal had to fight not to flinch. Cloud's arms fell from the man like he knew what was coming and would rather let go than be thrown off.
Tseng walked up to Angeal angrily, his hands clenching and unclenching. "And why exactly did you decided to show up here?"
Angeal closed his eyes at the soft pain-filled tone but opened them to answer the man. "I just wanted you to know that I AM sorry, that I love you, and I want you to be happy." Tseng flinched but Angeal continued, "It's easy to see that Cloud makes you happy. And I'm more thankful than I could ever believe for that. You deserve the best and obviously my dumb ass fucked that up royally. So... I won't bother you again if you don't want me to. I'll certainly understand if that's the case." He gave the Turk a soft smile, "Gen said it would be better to let you know now than to wait for you to cremate me in the Lifestream later."
The slap snapped his head to the side but he didn't really feel it; he turned rapidly blinking eyes back to Tseng who simply growled at him and pulled his knife out of his chest and marched back to his dinner. Angeal winced and began to fade out feeling he knew what Tseng's response meant.
"Don't you run away again, you coward." Cloud's voice was a low growl that had Angeal staying where he was in his half there half gone state.
"Coward?" Angeal had never thought of his actions as cowardice, but the younger man was right, 'coward' was really the only good descriptor for it.
"Angeal." His name was spoken on a broken whisper that tugged at the heartstrings of his soul. He walked to the table and knelt down next to where Tseng was seated, solidifying just enough to be physically there again.
He placed his hand on Tseng's knee, "I'm so sorry Love."
Tseng took a shuddering breath and looked across the table to where Cloud had sat down again, the smile on the blonde's face telling him all he needed to know. He flung his arms around Angeal's neck and cried. Angeal held him gently not saying anything, there was nothing he could do to make it better after all - he was dead.
When Tseng's tears had run their course he sat up and looked down at his former lover with a watery smile. "I still love you very much, and I always will. But, as you know, I love Cloud too." He glanced over at the blonde who dimpled at him, before looking back at Angeal. "If you wouldn't mind watching over us, I'd appreciate it."
"I confess to already having been doing that." Angeal blushed slightly make Tseng chuckle.
"Yes, but now I know you're really there." Tseng bent forward and kissed his forehead.
Angeal smiled at him before standing up, "I'll let you guys finish your dinner. Have a good night. And Cloud? Take good care of him?"
Cloud grinned and shook his hand before Angeal began to fade out again, "I'll do my best."
Later that night as Cloud and Tseng lay fast asleep in each other's arms Angeal materialized and kissed both sets of closed eyes. "May your nightmare's be too afraid of you to approach, and may your dreams be sweet ones."
It was an old Banoran blessing that his mother had taught him and with these two people he sincerely hoped it worked. They both needed more good in their lives to counter all the awful shit they'd been through so far. He faded back into the Lifestream to watch over them in the hopes that only good things would happen in their lives from then on. He would try his best from his place in the Lifestream to make it happen that way.