Summary: Oliver returns home burdened by a trip to an alternate universe and sees his own Thea in a whole new light. How do you protect someone who doesn't want to talk to you? (Takes place before Arrow 4.11 and after Flash 2.15.) Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, grooming, suicide, substance use

Thea Queen and Oliver Queen sibling fic. Thea Queen, Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Felicity Smoak, John Diggle, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon. Cannon Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, alternate universe Tommy Merlyn/ Laurel Lance

Author's Note: This story is an attempt to fuse the characters Thea Dearden Queen/ Speedy from Arrow with the character she is loosely based upon, Mia Dearden/ Speedy from the Green Arrow comics. In the Green Arrow comics, Mia Dearden is a face of trafficked boys and girls and how to make meaning out of profound pain. She is also a symbol of living a full and meaningful life with HIV. In Arrow, Thea Queen was a child who was vulnerable to being preyed upon by others following the sinking of the Queen's Gambit. Losing her father and brother and having a checked-out mother would certainly be enough to explain her coping by teenage partying, but it also didn't seem like a stretch that she could be dealing with more. While this story may cover dark subject matter, my hope is to find beauty in survivorship and remind us all that our pasts or who we were made to be does not define us or our futures. Thank you for taking the journey with me.

Chapter 1: Home

"There's just nothing there! If Darhk has 'gone to ground', he sure knows how to go without leaving anything I can trace." Felicity Smoak groaned in annoyance gesturing at the darkened map while John Diggle peered at the screen looking as though he thought that if he stared just right, something new might appear.

Oliver stood with his hand affectionately resting on Felicity's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. "Hey. Hey!" Oliver said, speaking louder to pull Felicity's attention. "Darhk is going to resurface, and, when he does, you will absolutely be the first one to know. Take it easy on yourself. You can't find what's not there." Felicity met his gaze and felt herself calming. It was maybe the most Oliver thing Felicity had seen from him in the long week since he had been pulled back from Earth 42.

"What's not there?" Laurel Lance asked as she walked out of the Foundry's elevator with Thea Queen.

"Darhk." Digg said, while giving a quick nod to greet his teammates.

"Oh," Thea said, sounding a little disappointed. "So just a normal night of patrolling? I'll gear up."

Oliver spun quickly to catch Thea's arm as she turned to make her way to her suit. "Thea, that won't be necessary," Oliver said stiffly.

Thea's brow scrunched in confusion and she looked first at Oliver and then towards Felicity, Digg, and Laurel. "Are… we not patrolling?" Thea asked slowly. Digg and Laurel's expressions matched Thea's for confusion.

"I think I have it covered." Oliver said firmly. He seemed to make a concerted attempt to soften his tone as he held Thea by the shoulders. "I just think you should take some time off. You have been dealing with a lot lately."

The confusion began to clear from Thea's expression to be replaced by growing annoyance. "Wait. Are you saying that only you are patrolling tonight? Or are you telling me that it's only me who isn't?"

"I am saying-" Oliver started but Thea cut him off.

"I have been doing fine, Ollie. The bloodlust is at bay, I haven't felt the need to kill in weeks!" Under Oliver's arm, Thea met Felicity's worried gaze as she gave Thea a quick head shake, telling her not to argue right now. Just like they had all been doing since Earth 42. The fight leaving Thea, she gave a deep sigh.

"Thea, it's not about that, I just think-"

Thea cut him off again, her voice defeated as she said, "Ollie, wait. It's fine. If you all have got it, you've got it. I can take another night off." Even though she was giving in, Thea couldn't help but murmur more quietly, "Again." It was the third night since his return that Oliver had benched Thea and though she was worried about Oliver, she was starting to get really annoyed with being kept from the field.

"No." John declared. "No, it's not okay, Oliver." Digg turned with his arms crossed, fixing Oliver with a piercing look. "Thea has been keeping her head in the field for weeks and she continues to be an asset every time she is out there. If we are going to catch Darhk, we are certainly not going to do it by having less eyes on the streets. Unless you can give us some better reason than giving her a night off, Thea should be suiting up."

Oliver glowered back at Diggle, his gaze revealing unspoken frustration. Laurel took a step forward to stand shoulder to shoulder with Digg. "I agree. I can team up with Thea. I would say that I will have her back, but honestly, more often than not, Thea has mine."

Thea threw her teammates a small, grateful smile before looking back towards her brother. Oliver turned away from the group and stared off at the wall. Without turning back, Oliver bit out, "Fine. Speedy, suit up."

Thea didn't need to be told twice and nearly sprinted off the hub towards her suit, followed by Diggle and Laurel. Oliver remained standing perfectly still, lost in thought. Felicity pushed her chair next to Oliver and slipped her hand in his, giving it a tug to get him to look down to meet her gaze. "Hey." Felicity said softly.

Oliver gave a little shudder, as if letting something go. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and then turned to meet Felicity's soft gaze. "Where did you go?" Felicity asked.

"I am fine, Felicity," Oliver murmured. He leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek and then let her hand fall out of his. Oliver turned and followed the team towards his suit.

"I wish that was true," Felicity muttered.

"No offense, Felicity, but I don't know if I would ever consider Oliver a super 'open' kind of guy."

Felicity sighed as she wheeled over to the loft's refrigerator, talking into her Bluetooth earbuds. "I know, Barry. Oliver likes to be … secretive. But he is so much more open than he used to be! When we were in Ivytown, he shared everything! Of course, that 'everything' included sharing recipes with the neighbors and picking the best wall color, but … I know that side of him now and I just hate that he is back to shutting himself off."

"So he hasn't said anything about what he saw while he was on Earth 42?"

Felicity grabbed a carton of yogurt and repositioned her chair at the counter to pull a spoon from the drawer. "He has been surprisingly tight-lipped, even for Oliver. He just said that the breacher was Earth 42's Laurel and that he saw Tommy."

"Tommy?"

Felicity winced, hoping she wasn't betraying some sort of confidence. "Tommy is … was … Oliver's best friend. They were kids together. He was killed during the Undertaking. And, though they didn't know it while Tommy was alive, Tommy was Thea's half-brother. Tommy's belief in Oliver and his death is the reason Oliver made his oath not to kill."

"Oh, wow." Barry murmured. The line was silent for a minute, clearly while Barry considered what he was going to say next. "Look, Felicity…" Barry began slowly, his voice thick with emotion. "When I was on Earth 2 … the experience really messed with me. Being there felt like a dream because everything was familiar and yet so different. But it wasn't a dream, you know? Those were real people with full lives. And the things I saw there and the things I did there … that was real too, and there were real consequences that those people continue to live with now that I'm back here. I came back with a lot of guilt. My mind just kept going back there, to Earth 2 and those … familiar strangers whose lives I changed."

"Barry," Felicity murmured quietly in sympathy.

"It took me awhile to open up to Joe and Iris. It didn't feel like I could ever find words for what happened and what it felt like." Barry cleared his throat, attempting to reign in the quivering of his voice. "Just be patient with him. Be there for him. When he's ready, he'll open up."

"No, you're right Barry. I can wait. I hate waiting. But … I can wait." Felicity heard a key in the lock. "Oh, Barry, I've gotta go. Oliver's home. Thanks for talking with me. This really helped."

"Anytime Felicity. Good luck with Oliver. And Darhk."

"Stay safe Barry."

Oliver slipped through the door and turned to look at Felicity with soft eyes. "Hey," he murmured as he stooped to give her a quick kiss on Felicity's hair.

Felicity gave Oliver a warm smile. "Hey yourself. I saw your press conference today. Have you gotten feedback on how it went over with the public?"

Oliver walked over to take a seat at the counter. "Everything I have heard has been pretty positive. Alex and Thea make a good team and I think they were pretty on point with hosting the dental fair for the Glades."

Felicity nodded, pleased. Her expression changed denoting her concern. "Hey, are things okay with you and Thea?"

Oliver's face tightened in an exaggerated look of confusion and he answered a little too quickly with, "What? Of course!"

"Hmm." Felicity murmured, indicating how little she believed Oliver's protestation. "So you're telling me that there is no reason why you are actively trying to keep Thea out of her Speedy suit?"

Oliver allowed his voice to go a pitch higher in objection, saying, "There is no 'actively trying'!" Felicity snorted. "She's been through a lot with the campaign, and Sara coming back trying to kill her, and trying to control her bloodlust. We don't have a bead on Darhk, it just seems like the right time to give her a break."

"She hasn't asked you for a break, Oliver," Felicity stated.

"I know, I just …" Oliver sighed. "Get a little protective."

"Or overprotective?" Felicity asked, raising an eyebrow at Oliver. Oliver rolled his eyes and gave a little head shake. Felicity started slowly as if approaching a skittish rabbit. "Don't take this the wrong way, but … does it have anything to do with what you saw on Earth 42?" Felicity looked up, attempting to catch Oliver's gaze.

"No, Felicity!" Oliver stated, both too quickly and too firmly. His voice rose in pitch and volume. "It's just what I said: she's had a lot going on, and when we find Darhk, none of us will be getting any rest."

"Okay," Felicity started in. "Let's pretend that's true. But let's not forget the fact that you have been withdrawn and snappy since you got back from Earth 42, and you won't talk about what happened. You can't keep pretending that whatever happened there didn't affect you. I know it did. And when you are ready, I am here to listen to anything you want to share. But if whatever it is has you taking out your stuff on Thea-"

"I'm not-!" Oliver nearly shouted, cutting Felicity off, then pausing to take a deep breath. Oliver started again in a normal tone of voice. "I'm not taking anything out on Thea."

"Then you should probably tell her that," Felicity noted.

Oliver groaned in frustration. "Why?"

"Because while she's kind of awesome at telling most people off without batting an eye, one cross look from her big brother and Thea gets into her own head. And you have been doing far more than giving her cross looks recently."

Oliver rubbed his face roughly with his hands knowing Felicity was right. "Fine, you win. I'll make it right with Thea."

"That's the grumbly bear I know and love so much," Felicity grinned up at Oliver. Oliver chuckled and shook his head at her.