Finding a job had been fundamental, more for the psychological aspect than for the economic one. Kisame had found a job as a waiter in a pizzeria that kept him busy right at dinner time, the moment when Obito always had guests.

Although he tried to justify himself for having started that job in order to finally pay for his studies in motor sciences, the awareness that in reality he had done it so as not to have to face that situation snaked in his soul and was increasingly evident. Madara was missing a year to finish his literature studies, Obito continued his anonymous job as a clerk by continuing to go out with Kiba and Naruto. Kisame would have liked to deepen the relationship with the blond, he considered him a very positive and interesting person, however the gloomy expression that had overshadowed Obito's face the few times he had dared to sit with them at the table ended up making him understand that his presence had not been foreseen.

However, he thought, if he managed to put enough money aside he could, in addition to paying for his studies, go on to live on his own. He had begun to admit to himself that this situation was beginning to go tight. His life had continued as always, five years without changing anything in his bond with Madara. Since he had managed to rekindle relations a little at least with his mother, he had several times thought of taking his partner aside to talk to him once and for all, now that he was economically independent, cornered, returning to his family home would not it was more of an insurmountable problem.

He had visited his parents a few times, at first making only brief visits, then occasionally going to lunch. The father still found it difficult to accept the fact that he was having an affair with a man, while the mother one day, while the head of the family had gone out on the balcony for a moment to smoke a cigarette, had left the dishes she was washing and hastily dried her hands. Quickly approaching the table where Kisame was having her coffee she stroked his strong hair brush saying: "Kisame, your father seems grumpy but in the end he has a big heart, that's why I married him; you look a little like him, you know? Though he'll never admit it, he regretted that argument. Trust me, I know him like the back of my hand, if you want to come back and stay with us know that the door is open."

Kisame had touched her hand smiling but without saying anything, maybe the times weren't ripe enough yet to make decisions and then, anyway, the fact of not being accepted in his life was starting to feel a bit tight for him; then when this mistake was made by whoever brought you into the world, it turned out to be a very difficult one to swallow.

I have the right to be me.

Things with Madara had to be made clear, it was essential. However, when he found those black eyes before him he almost found himself regretting the thoughts she had made of him. They seemed to him so sincere and full of love that he almost reproached himself for having set up certain reflections.

Maybe I'm wrong. Don't be too exaggerated, there's probably nothing wrong with it, this is simply the life he likes and finds normal.

Now that he had less time for sport but still didn't want to give it up, he tried to engage his mind by organizing his days so as not to rack his brains.

Every time I think I do damage!

Kisame tried not to have time for that, he wanted to keep his mind from wandering too much. There was only one moment in which he was left alone with himself, the one in which, at the end of the day, he fell asleep in Madara's arms exhausted by his commitments, sport and passion. That moment he was potentially dangerous, he dreaded it all day. However, almost always, those black eyes ended up dispelling any doubts making him feel calm, convincing him that he was wrong or exaggerating.

In the last two years Kisame had been increasingly busy, also because maturity was approaching. He used all of this as a pretext to justify their different life as a couple.

After all, I don't have time for going out and other activities. Naruto and Kiba have their own interests and routines, Obito is settled, but I'm in a transitional situation where I can't afford distractions.

The fifth year together with Madara proceeded like this, in continuous self-conviction, in weariness and in the commitments used as a pretext.

Kisame managed to get by until one day his body, although strong and imposing, decided to present him with the bill of all the problems swallowed and ignored that remained pending and without a solution. The Christmas holidays had just begun, he was in the fifth year of high school; going by bus to work in the pizzeria, which at that time had a lot of customers, he saw the streets of the center decorated with Christmas trees, lights that cast multicolored halos and shops with greeting messages and fake snow decorating the windows. Bundled up in his brown leather jacket that gave off the very pleasant smell of the tanned material, Kisame observed the tables of bars crowded with toasting friends, groups of girls leaving the shops with bags full of gift packages for family, friends or boyfriends . Couples walking hand in hand, children running curiously touching the decorations or eating sweets. He stood there, glued to the window, until the fogging caused by his breathing completely blurred his vision forcing him to move away.

Why can't I have it?

They were very ordinary things, nothing extraordinary, things people did almost without thinking about it, yet they didn't realize how lucky they were.

You have the grace to be… normal, treasure it and appreciate every moment. I lend an arm to have what you won't even realize.

He had straightened up in his seat again with his ice blue eyes shining.

As always, he had tried hard to ignore these thoughts as he put on his waiter's uniform. He had forced himself not to take them into consideration for the umpteenth time by writing the orders of those smiling people, families, couples, friends; until the blue and white spheres that decorated the fir tree positioned in the room had not begun to lose their shape in a luminous halo and he had felt light-headed and empty.

He had woken up lying on a cot with his chest bare and circular stickers pasted. He understood instantly that they had been used to hook up some wires which, however, had now been disconnected. At least two other people were in the room, they had relatives nearby who were talking and holding their hand, while there was no one to shake his hand.

"Madara…" he mumbled.

No one had paid attention to him, he was literally abandoned, not even his work colleagues were there, yet they must have seen what had happened to him. Everyone knew it except him, he couldn't figure out what kind of illness he'd had, but now he felt confused in his head, as if his brain waves were disturbed by something, the weakness that had invaded his body prevented him from getting up.

"Madara!" this time he moaned louder causing the people around him to turn in his direction.

They looked at him for a moment and then returned undisturbed to their previous activities. He burst into tears gripped by despair. Through those tears he realized to throw out all the years that had passed as he had not wanted.

I lost sight of myself, I just needed to be me, I lived blinded inside a bubble excluding the world and people, now I want to be me again!

A nurse had come to check on him and then leave a few moments later without saying anything. He spent perhaps more than an hour in that state without anyone coming to explain what had happened or him deigning to warn Madara, his parents or any of his work colleagues. He realized he was sobbing like a child and that the people around him were perhaps taking him for a madman, but he didn't care, you can't put a stopper on pain forever, sooner or later it ends up exploding. And he had exploded there, without warning, at the least opportune moment, his repressed personality of him for too long had finally broken the dam. When he now he thought that he would cry all night already feeling his eyes swollen and burning, he felt a soft-skinned hand rest on his forehead.

"Kisame, I'm so sorry" Madara's voice was soft and understanding.

Kisame hadn't opened his eyes, feeling a little ashamed of the state he'd found himself in. Your mere presence has always had the power to soothe my wounds instantly. But now it's not enough anymore, now I would like them to heal completely.

Kisame hadn't opened his eyes yet, the hand had risen from his forehead to make way for the dark's warm and full lips kissing him gently, Kisame felt the long hair submerge his face and a drop hit the bridge of his nose, only then did he realize that Madara's breath was shaky. He opened his eyes seeing him as he sat next to the stretcher, he was swathed in a very elegant gray coat. Though Madara purposely remained hidden in his hair, Kisame could see two silent tears slowly furrowing his handsome face; he forced himself to smile seeing that Kisame had turned his clear eyes towards him.

"Madara, no one tells me what happened, I was working and then… I woke up here" Kisame was still shaken by a few sobs.

Madara took one of his big hands between his: "You got too tired and passed out, you made commitments on commitments in the last year and a half, I noticed it too and I understood why. Tomorrow morning you can go out, if you want I'll stay here with you all night."

Kisame squeezed a little on the couch to make room for his partner. Madara took off his jacket remaining with a sweater of the same shade of gray with a high neck, he lay down next to him embracing his bare chest.

"Do you know what we're doing tomorrow morning? We go downtown to look for some Christmas presents for Obito, Naruto and Kiba. I'll let you choose if you like, and I'd like to give you something too. Actually, this is exactly what I want the most" Madara was peeling off the stickers left on Kisame's chest with his candid and tapered fingers "And then Monday, which is your day off, we'll go out to dinner, alone , me and you."

Madara was now softly kissing his shoulder, squeezing his arm. Kisame had slowly slipped into sleep listening to those words. He had wanted them for more than four years and only now was he really realizing it, only now had he stopped hiding behind pretexts and justifications. You always sense everything, you read my mind. I can't do it with you, I can't penetrate that veil of pain that clouds your eyes.

When Madara woke up the next morning, he found Kisame eager to be discharged, already dressed just waiting for him to open his eyes. The doctor gave him a short visit and gave him a week's rest.

The younger one went out into the street full of joy being sure that, besides being the best week of his life, that would be the right moment to finally settle things. He had to keep from scampering like a child by leaping on Madara's neck. It was four days before Christmas, it was a beautiful sunny day, clear, and not too cold. They headed downtown, Kisame realized they hadn't strolled there together since the day they first spoke to each other more than four years ago.

I actually don't remember if we've ever walked together since that day.

They passed in front of that bar, the one they first met. Many memories overpowered Kisame's mind, he trying to get rid of the embarrassment by downing two beers one after the other, Madara's beautiful hair that shimmered blue in the sun, his smile that accentuated the small dimples under his dark eyes.

What have we done since that day? How has our relationship evolved? Maybe I'm about to find out now, in a little while.

Asking himself these questions, Kisame had looked without realizing his companion's face, as always he seemed to catch every thought of him: "How about if we have breakfast?"

Since it was now winter, that bar no longer had tables outside like the first time. They entered, were hit by a background of Christmas carols and a pleasant smell of freshly made pastries. Kisame realized in that moment that he hadn't eaten anything since the previous day at lunch.

"Take whatever you want." Madara must have seen the way he was devouring the candy display case.

They were seated at a circular wooden table with a tray of all different mignons and two teas in front of them. Kisame was absorbing every sensation, even the buzz of customers and the clinking of glasses and cups.

It's mine, it's all for me.

"This is where we first came, remember?" Madara had never lost that friendly and understanding smile, yet the note of pain that she had in the back of his eyes had become more pronounced over time.

"I could never forget that" Kisame had stretched out a hand on the table to intercept that of his classmate "Like I'll never forget the wink you gave to that rowdy and unruly class."

"I didn't do it in class, it was for you" she smiled again as she moved the tuft from his right eye with a slight movement of his head.

It's a dream, it's everything for me.

Kisame had thoroughly enjoyed that moment; the delicious sweets, the company of Madara. Then they set out to look for gifts for Obito and their friends hand in hand, everything happened naturally as if it had always been there, as if those years of suffering, misunderstandings and doubts had never existed. Now Kisame perceived them evanescent, the colors faded, a dream during his last moments of life before being forgotten upon awakening. Madara had entered an elegant clothes shop: "Let's choose something for Obito, of course I will take into account all your advice."

Once inside that environment built entirely of wood, the two separated attracted by different clothes.

I spoke so little with Obito that I don't even know his tastes.

Kisame looked around trusting mostly on Madara's choices. He sighed disconsolately, he had been wandering around for about half an hour without having seen anything that attracted his attention in the slightest. He had momentarily lost sight of Madara, on the other hand that place was immense and spread over two floors. He stopped in front of the window with the sole purpose of observing the street decorations, the same ones that the night before, seen from the bus window, had had the power to hurt him so much. Now they seemed different to him, as seen across a parallel world.

They belong to me too, now.

Watching his smile reflected evanescent on the glass, the blue eyes were attracted to a shop window that was on the other side of the street. It was a very modest shop, light years away from the one they were in now, but what he saw on the mannequin made him look for Madara. He found him upstairs rummaging through his shirts.

"Come on Madara, I've found something Obito will surely like."

Madara followed him smiling downstairs expecting Kisame to take him to see what he wanted to show him. Instead, he was shocked seeing the other who had entered the door straight as a spindle, forcing him to go out into the street as a result.

"What do you think?" Kisame was showing him a tight-fitting turtleneck shirt with long sleeves. The base color was dark red, but above it it had black streaks that looked like ink that had fallen from above.

"It's not bad even if I had something more refined in mind" Madara had slipped his hands into the pockets of his gray coat, his face had become serious as a sign that he was giving value to Kisame's proposal.

"You know I thought this could enhance his strengths, after all he's physically fine despite being thin. He focuses too much on flaws, when he should be learning to do the opposite."

"Kisame, your wisdom has amazed me since the first day" the dark-haired smiled gently taking his face in his hands to kiss him.

He did it here, in front of all these people, did all the doubts I had depend solely on me? No, impossible. What are you hiding, Madara?

They also left that shop with presents for Kiba and Naruto and Kisame's mother. For the chestnut they had taken a fur coat with a black and white spotted hood. A very particular bracelet for Naruto, it was made of steel, very thick and in the shape of a belt with a buckle, he really liked these somewhat particular things. Kisame had intended to give his mother some blue drop-shaped earrings, to thank her for having welcomed him back and for what she was doing with her in order to convince his father and accept him.

He was happy, nothing more. The things that are normal for most people Kisame had to fight to conquer and this allowed him to fully enjoy them. Madara's hand never left his as they enjoyed the Christmas atmosphere. It was time for lunch without almost noticing it, Madara had taken his companion, surprisingly, to eat in a sushi restaurant.

I don't remember other times you and I went out to eat, is this the first? I wouldn't be surprised if that were indeed the case.

The dark, on his initiative, had chosen a small rather secluded table.

"Kisame, I'm sorry if I've been so distant. I have loved you, always, right away, but unfortunately, as you will have understood, living together with my cousin Obito is not easy. He is an extremely possessive type. Since after the accident, following the loss of his parents and the girl, he easily falls prey to the terror of being abandoned. Your company couldn't have done him anything but good, but sadly me and his friends Kiba and Naruto, are kind of regarded as… owned by him. I felt I had to show him that our relationship wasn't going to get in the way of him, but in doing so, I ended up hurting you. I hope you can forgive me by giving me a chance to make up for it."

What is the misfortune Obito witnessed before the accident?

Madara's eyes had become watery and the pallor of his face had become a bit accentuated, Kisame grabbed his hands across the table: "The years that have passed today seem to have erased instantly. I'm ready to start over, right away."

Is this what clouds your eyes with sadness?

Madara smiled: "Now the time has come to deliver the most important gift, yours. No, I hadn't forgotten."

Kisame's clear eyes shone for a moment as the dark-haired man placed a small purple package with a white bow on his hand. The younger one smiled, it was packaged to perfection it almost looked like a work of art.

"Come on, what are you waiting for, aren't you curious to know what it is?"

Kisame flushed as he felt his heart undergo a sudden acceleration, he hadn't felt sensations like this since the day they met. Under the purple paper, a yellow box with the logo of a jeweler.

Kisame's frozen eyes widened, Madara really cared about him. Although his hands were large, he managed to open that little box with extreme delicacy, almost with the fear of ruining it. A gleam lit up his clear eyes, with the tips of his fingers he took a highly polished silver bracelet in the shape of a thick chain from which hung a charm, a skull of the same material with two diamonds instead of eyes. Kisame was ecstatic lost in those slightly multicolored reflections as if they were a dazzling glare.

"Undoubtedly it stands out on your skin a lot, I'm curious to know if I was right" Madara's always kind voice scolded him.

He wore the bracelet on his right wrist, discovering that not only had Madara been right about his complexion, but it also fit him perfectly. Words had not yet been invented to describe his state of mind at that moment, he only managed to run to his partner, embracing him tightly and remaining motionless for several minutes. Two tears flowed from his eyes, but they were of immense happiness.

They walked home without haste, holding hands almost wanting to slow down on purpose that day that was going too fast, they smiled at each other. Kisame was serene, certainly exchanging gifts with Obito and the others would have served to ease the tension and pave the way for a relationship that could have been nothing but positive, he was full of hope.

December forced the sun to set quickly, it was the first time he had seen Madara move without haste, without being conditioned by what his cousin would have done or thought.

They stopped for an aperitif, nothing strange or extraordinary but one of those things that Kisame had always wanted.

It almost seems like you were on that bus last night too, you've always known what it is that pleases me, and always at the right time.

The prosecco with which they had toasted had put them in even more joy. It was now dark when they opened the door of the building, the main entrance, they would have passed through Obito's apartment.

Madara, gift bags in hand, had turned to close the glass door and was grabbed tightly from behind moments later. Kisame, after holding him tightly between his muscular arms, made him turn around to capture his lips in a kiss that bordered on pain, it was so hot. Both had been waiting for this for a long, too long time, an infinity that now that kiss had swept away in an instant. That day had erased years. Kisame had put his hands under his gray coat. Grabbing his butt, he had suddenly loaded him into his arms, making him laugh. He had taken him up the stairs to the first floor, waited for him to turn off the alarm in the apartment while Madara marveled at the solidity of that body, it really seemed made of steel. Kisame closed the armored door with his foot after they had entered without even looking around, free from the fear of knowing who was there. The envelopes had fallen to the floor, Kisame threw his companion on one of those sofas on which he had sat very few times. He took off his brown leather jacket almost tearing it, the black sweater, pants and boots ended up keeping it company on the floor along with Madara's clothes.

They were unstoppable, Kisame had almost bullied his partner on top of him. The kiss had continued, only now from fire it had turned into lava, Kisame felt it flowing inside him and inflaming his skin. Every problem had disappeared, Kisame held Madara's waist tightly and he kept kissing him caressing him everywhere. They moved feverishly as if to fill the lack that had accumulated over the years. Kisame had tied his powerful legs around Madara's more slender body, he squeezed as if to prevent him from escaping: the dark-haired moaned, perhaps in pain, that compression was really strong. However, the great understood, he remembered very well how much the other had desired him and how much he had fought for him. Their convulsive breaths mixed, Kisame imagined them as hot air that rose trembling upwards, the dark-haired broke away from those full lips to kiss his sculpted pecs, Kisame moaned loudly grabbing him spasmodically by the arms.

It's all for me now.

He moaned again as he felt their erections make contact, a sudden rush of pleasure making his back arch. Madara moved sinuously above him setting his brain on fire. Passion overwhelmed him, Kisame turned abruptly placing his partner under him. They only looked at each other for a moment, but the intensity was such that they both felt alone in the universe. Madara's long hair had fanned out on pillows, his black eyes glittering lost in the ice of Kisame's.

Hot embers and ice, both burn in their own ways.

Kisame smiled at this thought, kissed Madara again before penetrating him without meeting any resistance. Being immersed in the heat of that candid flesh made him lose his mind, he barely noticed that barely perceived sensation of emptiness.

I felt it in my diaphragm, a vacuum of air. A door that opens, it happened to me as a child when I was much more skilled at perceiving presences.

By now he could not escape, sinking into that much desired body gave him a feeling of extreme bliss, like floating, slightly drunk, in a hot liquid. No longer vulnerable as he once was, but aware of being himself. While still capturing those full and soft lips, he felt Madara's body being ripped from his arms, rushing out of him almost felt like a trauma.

He shook his head sitting up dazed. When hearing resurfaced to return to the real mode, he perceived the companion's moans and another voice, yes it was familiar but he had never heard it so altered: "This is really too much, Madara, he has to leave my house tonight !"

Sight had also returned, Obito had grabbed his cousin by the hair and held him still by twisting his arm behind his back.

"Obito, may I know what the hell is on your mind?" Kisame panted trembling in front of that crazy look.

"Obito, we were wrong. We're a bit tipsy and didn't control ourselves, we were convinced you were out as usual, please forgive us" Madara desperately tried to keep calm despite the situation.

"Maybe we misunderstood each other, he's getting out of here, I've had enough" Obito hissed in his ear.

"Obito, calm down or it ends badly" Kisame had gotten up from the sofa heading quickly towards him, now his clear eyes were furious.

The short-haired dark-haired man, perhaps intimidated by his size, made his last attempt: "Go back to where you were or I'll really hurt him"

Kisame had no intention of giving in by continuing to advance, so Obito suddenly threw his cousin's body on the glass table that was between the two sofas, shattering it. Madara suffered several wounds, the light flowered carpet underneath was stained red. Kisame changed priorities heading to the rescue of his companion who seemed unconscious.

He took his face in his hands: "Madara, do you hear me? Answers!"

Kisame shook him full of anguish seeing that he was shaking.

"Obito, get me a blanket, quick!"

The other didn't move, he sat down on the sofa opposite like an empty sack. Obito seemed to have run out of batteries, so Kisame had slipped on his boxers in an instant to go downstairs. He wrapped Madara's shivering body in a brown plaid after a few moments, then picked it up to lay it where they had just been blinded by passion. He retrieved his cell phone from the leather jacket thrown on the ground to call an ambulance and then sat down too, placing his companion's head on his legs.

"Kisame, don't worry, I'll manage. Don't hurt Obito, you know what problems he had" Madara murmured "You were the best thing that happened to me in my life."

Why were you? Why in the past? Kisame felt his eyes become watery.

"Obito, I know very well what happened to you, but by behaving like this you don't help the people who love you" Kisame now seemed calmer.

"You don't know what it means when everyone avoids you. When they are horrified by your face, finding someone who accepts you is a miracle. What do you know that you are physically perfect? I only have two friends and my cousin but, believe me, since he's been with you he's changed, he doesn't even look like him anymore" Obito too was more relaxed now although his gaze was still empty.

Kisame sighed making his tone become even more sympathetic: "Perhaps it will sound strange to you, Obito, but even I, physically perfect as you claim, know what it means not to be accepted. I started noticing it since I was in kindergarten, in middle school I spent three years in a desk by myself because I liked a boy. Now that I have decided in spite of everything to continue being myself, I have been thrown out of the house by my father. As you can see, Obito, the main reason for non-acceptance is not physical appearance."

Now the dark-haired man was looking at his face with a slightly bewildered expression.

Kisame continued while stroking Madara's head: "If a person didn't know about the incident I assure you they would notice almost nothing at all. Being orphaned is painful, but so is having your back on your family and living your youth alone. We went out to get some presents for you, Kiba and Naruto. I personally chose yours thinking that highlighting your strengths would help you."

Obito sighed resting his elbows on his knees and bowing his head, he remained like that without saying anything.

I know that you will rework these words of mine one day. At the right moment they will hit the target leaving you standing in the middle of the road or knocking a glass from your hand. I just hope that from then on you can finally live happily ever after.

Madara turned a beautiful smile towards Kisame: "I love you, I immediately saw how big your heart is."

When the rescuers took him away it was the last time Kisame saw him.