Chapter 21

"I'm fine."

"But Mama, he got you."

"It's an it and now it's gone."

"He'll come back…"

"No IT won't."

"Sure?"

"Honey, Frodo has it now and he's leaving soon enough to destroy it."

"As are you, your majesty."

"No, Gandalf. I'm not."

We have been having this argument on and off for the past hour but neither of us seems ready to fold. Yeaaaah, so the ring engraved a bit of itself into my stomach but I don't feel any different. No chills, burning, or visions since the actual incident. That's got to be a good thing, right? Once the fellowship tosses it into Mordor, I'm sure the strange black writing will disappear. 'Mostly sure.' Thoria snuggles into my side, just as Theodore does the same to my other one. Their touch sent the ring into a screaming fit earlier but I haven't a clue why. There have been no answers from the wizard or home owning elf; in fact Elrond excused himself the moment I was coherent. His usually calm face was so full of unasked questions that I'm sure he headed straight to the library for some answers. That's about when Gandalf started his gentle attempts and later not so gentle persuasions to get me to go on this trip.

"I can't go off scampering through Middle Earth without any notice. Again." While I hated the way it's prequel ended, I can't say I have a problem with the happenings of the LOTR. The goal is accomplished with minimal loss of life; Smaug killed more people than will die on this venture. Everything works out more or less and I'm pretty sure I'd just screw it up if I tag along. Besides… "Who would watch my children?"

"Their cousins are as good a choice as any."

"Oh yes, I can see it now. 'Here Fili, you watch the kids and I'll go defeat the dark lord. Remember to have them in bed by 8 and don't tell Thorin.' Pffft. You wish. Not gonna happen." Running a hand down my face, I wonder why he said cousin instead of father. They ARE his responsibility too. I shake my head at the wizard "No. There is no way he would let me go."

"He will not deny you the opportunity if he is unable to speak with you." Frowning at his raised eyebrow I stroke Thoria's side, having no idea what he's alluding to. The elder leans on his staff emploringly "Send the children home with their kin."

"And just have someone else tell Thorin that I'm on this potentially life threatening mission?" I shake my head again, not liking the suggestion at all "That would be like me lying. And what of Kiliel and Grim? Will I pawn them off as burdens as well?"

"There are numerous ways to go about this and-"

"-and the best would be for me to just return home." I shrug and roll my eyes indifferently at his affronted huff "It will be fine."

"It most certainly will not 'be fine' as you so finely put it."

"Gandalf, I'm sorry but I'm not-"

"THIA MALCOLMSON, YOUR DENIAL IN THE HAPPENINGS OF THE RING WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL!" I flinch at his sudden vibrant anger as his power fills the room to the point of suffocation. The twins glare and whimper at my sides, a strange combination; aiming their ire at the grey pilgrim. I ready myself to flee but Gandalf immediately retracts his influence upon hearing the children's cries/growls of discomfort. He looks at them regrettably before pacing the floor "Do not be foolish. Now it not the time for that."

"I wouldn't be doing it if you weren't acting so strangely." I grumble as he blinks at me in surprise "There was no need for the black magic."

"... If we do not find a way to remove the one ring's taint from your person, it will continue to live on through you, regardless of whether we toss it in the inferno."

"So I need to follow the thing across middle earth hoping you find a way to remove it?"

"..."

"And if you don't? What then?" I shrug my shoulders with a suspicious look "Throw me in too?"

"I would have you join the fellowship while I explore ways to free you but know this:" a plain look is thrown my way and I almost feel bad about my suspicion. Almost "I would not allow any to commit the atrocity of murdering an innocent woman under my protection."

"Protection or not, what you are suggestin' is unacceptable." Nori's silent form in the corner of the large room finally makes itself known. He'd been fuming quietly since he arrived and I was wondering when he'd pop "I'm returnin' her to Erebor as soon as possible. I've had enough of her trouble."

"Had you heeded my warnings and kept a closer eye on her, then this would not have occurred, Master Dwarf."

"Wait." I frown, shifting on the bed. The pristine white sheets drape in my lap as I sit up from my slouched position "Is this what guys were talking about at Bilbo's house? You knew it would happen?"

"Not this order of events exactly however…" the sorcerer hums from his place, not at all remorseful for his actions. If I royally screw this up, he'll regret it "I had my reservations on the subject."

"And yet you still invited her to that council meetin'! Why?" Nori's rumble is so fierce it actually causes me to worry for the wizard's safety "What shall I tell my king? How will I explain that his wife has a piece of the ultimate darkness LIVIN' in her flesh?"

"Well-" I start but he's not done

"He will have my head, do you not realize? My head." He jerks his hand in a cutting motion towards his neck, his eyes blaze in anger at both me and Gandalf "You have all but killed me!"

"Nori is... Steve, Mama?"

Theodore's whisper is so low, I almost miss it. It takes me a moment to recall the name. Steve is a goldfish. Or rather, he was. I won him at a fair about 6 months ago and the twins were mesmerized by the golden swimmer. Maybe it was his coloring or maybe it was because he was so much smaller than the already bite sized toddlers. Either way, he swam his fish butt into their hearts. He wasn't really anything special; just a simple fish, roughly half the size of my pinky but they loved him and who was I to complain?

One weekend, I left my brother Leo to house sit for me while I took the twins camping. It's how I found out that nothing in the woods could hurt Theodore, though my heart nearly gave out when the tree fell on him. When we came back... well... Steve was belly up, with his stomach bloated horribly out of proportion. My wonderful brother accidentally overfed the little guy, effectively killing him. It was the twins' first experience with death and they took it a little hard. They refused to talk to Leo for a week, no matter how many times he apologized.

I almost smile at the thought of Nori as a spiky haired goldfish before sobering. It's not the thief's fault I'm in this mess, and I can't really let him take the fall. Still… I doubt Thorin would feed Nori to death as a form of punishment, but I understand the question. I half shake half nod my head but don't fully answer the child. I can't go into capital punishment with my 3 year old right now. Clearing my throat, I focus.

"Nori, I won't let that happen." catching the pacing dwarf's attention, I aim to calm him "I'll make sure Thorin doesn't kill you over this."

"Ye' say that but-"

"I will. We'll talk about it once we get back to the mountain."

"..."

"I'm not you best friend or anything but this really isn't your fault. Ill make him understand."

"It will have wait" Gandalf interjects, pulling our attention to him again "as you are not returning to your home just yet."

"Gandalf-"

"Nor is your husband there to greet you."

"He's not?" I glance at Nori who doesn't appear to be surprised by the information at all "Why wouldn't he be in Erebor?"

"... He didn't share that information with me."

"But you know regardless. You'd be a pisspoor spymaster if you didnt." He scoffs and looks uncomfortable but doesn't answer. Why wouldn't Thorin be in Erebor? A king should be in his kingdom. Maybe he's taking a trip to visit Dain or… other unnamed relatives that I haven't met yet. But then, why wasn't I invited? Or the twins? Is it an emergency? A death? A baby shower? Before I can work myself up, I acknowledge that I know very little of the situation "Well? Where is he?"

"Investigating the whispers, my dear girl." my frown does nothing to gain more information from either male much to my annoyance "Send your children with their kin. It is time for YOU to silence the shrieks."

THORIN POV

"How much further until we reach Dol Guldor, your highness?"

I do not bother casting a look of thinning patience back at the dwarf for the question. He has repeated it nearly every day for the past week and the jest has long since worn out its humor. The only hilarity to be found originally was the seriousness of the question. Posen is clearly not meant for long travel.

"We have only just passed the Celduin, Lord Posen." I answer in a strained voice "We have roughly 600 more miles to go."

"Ha... ha ha. Your wit is most adequate, your highness." When no one joins in with his laughter, the lord calls out again "H-highness? Highness, surely you jest? Your majesty?!"

Dwalin growls threateningly from my side, easily silencing the pompous dwarf. I was surprised when he volunteered to accompany my small group of 20 dwarrow on the searching expedition. The surprise was short lived when he brought out crates he explained were filled with bedding, changes of clothes, and other unnecessary items for our destination. 'Even the Halfling was not so ill prepared.' The sole reason why I did not deny Posen's attendance was because he brought a small selection of his own men to carry his things.

"Return home if you cannot keep up Lord Posen." I call back to him "The wild is no place for those of weak stature."

"Fear not, I shall… keep up." he then begins yelling orders at his guards; urging the foot soldiers to speed up despite him being on a pony and them, on foot.

"It would have been easier to avoid him if ye were back in Erebor." Dwalin's heavy voice carries over the incessant calls of the dwarf lord "Ye did not have to take this trip yerself."

"I need to see it for myself." Keeping my eyes straight, I guide my pony close to the trees, but never enter the forest "I must know for certain if he has returned."

"And then?" he urges, as though we had never had this conversation before "What will ye do if he has?"

"I will end his vile life…"

"Before the lass knows that ye failed to do so on Ravenhill."

He finishes the sentence, knowing my thoughts even if I cannot voice them. The words are not cruel or said with any accusation. In fact, they are not Dwalin's words at all but my own. It is by my own mouth that I have been condemned of my failure upon the frozen river those many years ago. I had Azog's life in my hands and let it slip away; dispelled into the wind by the soul of my children. It was not their duty to protect Thia just yet, but in my inadequacy they stepped in the best they could. The fault of this current state of affairs lies on no one but myself.

"I told my One that he was dead. I told her he would never be able to hurt her again. I told her there was nothing to fear." gritting my teeth, I nearly bow my head in shame "I lied to her."

"…Would it not be better to tell her the truth now than to fix the lie?"

I mull the suggestion over in my mind, just as I have done many times before and yet the conclusion is always the same. 'No, it would not.' Fore I remember when she was finally able to speak of her time alone with the defiler. The shame and fear that rolled off her delicate form in waves had me wishing his body was whole again so that I could rip it asunder. So eager was I to relieve her agony that I spoke an untruth but I do not regret it. The anxiety etched into her face melted away and I would do anything to keep it from returning. The answers I seek rest in the old fortress and I intend to find them. It is the sole reason I left Fili, with the help of Dain, to care for the mountain. I need to do this. For her.

"It will be a lie no longer once I make it true, Dwalin."

"She will find out... and she will not appreciate it..."

"If I may be so bold, majesty but," I inhale deeply to suppress the groan as Posen rides to our side again "of whom are you speaking?"

"The Queen." I answer briskly

"Ah. Yes. The… hm. Lovely thing." I hum lightly, knowing the lord held no love for Thia when last they met. He has halted in his offers of marriage for his daughters however I feel he plans something still. My thoughts are cut short by his next quiet sentence "The Queen Consort... id i do say so, her skin is exquisite; smooth as silk."

"And just when" I had not realized I'd drawn my sword until it is pressed against his neck. His fat cheeks wobble pathetically as he gapes at the blade "did you feel my wife's flesh?"

"Wh- I-I-I-"

"Speak. Quickly." I remember his eyes when he gazed upon the Arkenstone on my One's back. The way he reached forward to dare and touch her, the desire clear in his eyes. It is without a doubt that the marking upon her flesh, though not nearly as much as her flesh itself, is truly a sight to behold; true silk in its finest. However none will touch it but myself. I will not let any live who touch her. None "Did you touch her?"

"Wh- I- I-"

"Did. You. Touch. Her?"

"N-n-n-n-no, your highness." he stumbles over his words as quickly as he can as I refuse to break eye contact or free him. His pony snorts in distress and he tries to calm the beast without losing his head "I only m-m-meant it looked like it would feel-"

"Enough." Dwalin intervenes as Posen nearly digs himself deeper into the grave "He is not worth it, my liege."

"… Rid your mind of thoughts concerning your queen in any manner but utmost respect, lest I remove your skin as collateral." lifting my blade, I sheath it and address the rest of the precession "We have dallied long enough. Move!"