Chapter 22 (Side chapter available)

Quickly checking on Thoria and Theodore's bags I stand with my back to the group before giving up. Falling to my knees, I gather up my two babies and simply hold the pair in my arms to prepare for what I know will be the longest separation we've ever had. A weekend, not even a 3 day, is the total time we've ever separated. I went away for my older sister's, Leah, birthday one weekend. I loved spending time with her but I hated being away from Theodore and Thoria and never repeated the act. How could I? I love them more than I've loved anything else. Ever. Thorin has my heart but these children are my heart. Tiny arms tighten around me, feeling my angst through our bond.

"I... need you two to be brave while I'm gone, ok? Everything is going to be just fine." burying my nose in each of their curls, I embrace the smell of my babies "You'll have s-sooo much fun! And, you know, I'll only be away for a little bit."

"Want you." they say in tandem, not even attempting full sentences anymore "Mama. Want you."

"Kiliel and Grim will be there! Nori, Gloin, and Dori are too. It'll be just like the adventure I had." I continue, trying to bring their spirits up. I don't want to leave them. I don't want to go with the fellowship. I shouldn't have to go. Still... I don't want my kids feeling as badly as I do... "Plus, Ellodan and Elrohir are going to see you over the crest of the misty mountains. Won't that be fun?"

Neither twin confirms or denies my words, instead tightening their arms around my neck again. They repeat their mantra no matter what I say, not willing to accept what is happening and I feel my resolve crumbling.

"Gandalf..." Dori whispers imploringly "Surely... surely there is another way."

"I wish that there was but this is the best course... no matter how distasteful."

My chest constricts as I take a breath. This has to happen. I don't fully understand why or how to make it better. I know the kids don't understand any of it. We all considered waiting until they were sleeping to whisk them away but I think that would be even worse. Knowing my children, waking up and being somewhere unknown without me would be terrifyingly devastating. So we opt for the wakeful option, which is still devastating but... what else can I do?

Gloin and Dori have to all but tear them from my arms when it's time to go as the two refuse to depart from my lap willingly. I don't make it any easier by keeping my arms wrapped around them. Their defiant cries turn into loud wails of despair when they see that they are truly leaving without me. I begin to step forward and attempt to make it all better but Gandalf's hand keeps me in place. It's firm and for a moment, just for a moment, I hate him. I know he is only trying to do right by middle earth but it has cost me dearly and I cannot help but to hate him. I hate him because he knew the ring wouldnt let me leave. I hate him because he made sure it had an opportunity to connect itself to me. I hate him because the meddling wizard wanted me on this trip in the first place. I hate him because he ensured that I would be here at the cost of my children's peace of mind. Their tears break my heart into billions of pieces until I don't think I could ever find them all. It is with much restraint that I do not chase down the caravan and say to hell with it all. 'It's for the best. They'll be safe. It's for the best.' I feel like throwing up but I plaster a smile on my face and wave them off.

"Mama loves you!" I call and thank God that my voice doesn't crack. I watch as they disappear further and further into the world where I can't protect them but I keep waving. Even after they are out of sight and my arm constricts in pain, I keep waving... just in case they can see better than I can. And if I fall against Gandalf when my vision twists in watery ribbons and my smile eats my tears with painful sobs, I can only whisper the plain truth "Mama loves you…"

"Come, my dear-"

"Olórin." his hand twitches on my shoulder but he doesnt pull it away. It trembles, but so do I. Its been years since I've felt the heat that causes my body to glow but there it is. Pulsing from the bleeding wound on my chest, it coats me fully "I... I will never forgive you for this."

"... Nor should you."

We stand together in silence for what feels like ages waiting for my calm to come. It must be ages because the sun goes down before my ire does. But my immense grief does ebbs with exhaustion. When it does, I allow myself to be led away from the now horribly empty horizon by the wizened hands of the deplorable wizard that I am forced to call a friend.

"Spend your tears and rest for now. Tomorrow you shall begin your next journey."

~~~~~~~~~~Shishi~~~~~~~~~~

GLOIN POV

"Ah!" Dori holds the young prince round 'is middle while glancing at 'is bleeding hand "He bit me!"

"He bites everyone but his ma and sister." the skinchangling offers, hefting the princess higher in his arms, and baring 'is arm to show a bite scar of 'is own. The half elf attempted to carry her early on but I'd sooner jump from the mountain itself than let him do so. He's not a bad lad but he's... unnatural. For all his strangeness, the skinchanger picked this up fairly quickly and stepped in the soothe the girl. She struggles still but her unease is not as great "Gotta grip like a warg, that one."

"We've gone far enough." the thief stops advancing, to look back over the way we came "I'll head back now."

"Whatever for?" It is the first time the elf child 'as ever spoken so brazenly, nearly scoffing at the idea of Nori returning. 'is thin chest is puffed up in a strange way that 'e never exhibited before "Queen Thia made it very clear that you were not to follow her."

"And I was tasked by King Thorin to see her home. His desires outweigh her own." it is the spymaster's turn to scoff, but 'e adds a sneer to 'is own face. Turning toward the road, he departs with the biting comment "I'd not abandon my duty so easily, unlike you, boy."

"... She'll punish him for disobeying her."

"And Thorin would punish 'im far worse for disobeying 'is orders." Rearranging the prince in his arms, I watch as Dori carefully eyes his brother as he begins his descent before I continue "It's for 'er safety."

"Me too! Want Mama!" the small lass cries in the skinchangers's arms, much to our discomfort. It was heart wrenching to 'ave to separate a mother from 'er child; especially when they so clearly did not wish it so. I curse the wizard for forcing the issue. We all truly wish it could 'ave been avoided. The two dwarflings 'aven't ceased their struggles since we departed, and I do not suspect they will soon "H-him gonna get her!"

"Yer Amad will be fine, little one." I try to soothe the young ones but it does nothing to calm their frayed nerves. They are fine children, true to their blood, and will not abandon their kin without a fight. The lad struggles harder still in Dori's arms "She 'as sent ye to where ye will be safe."

The hours pass by agonizingly as we march along the winding path. The wind grows stronger and the children's cries ebb into painful whimpers. The princess is far worse than her brother. His face is raw and red from his tears but his jaw has been clamped shut. The princess' voice cracks with every word and I fear she will do true damage to herself. Sighing, I call the group to a halt for a much needed break.

"Princess, you must stop. You will hurt yourself."

"Down!" The tiny thing wiggles this way and that, turning herself upside down while trying to escape the skinchanger's 'ands "I want to get down!"

"Well ye can't." 'e responds callously only to be met with 'er knee jerking against 'is nose for 'is efforts "Why you little-"

"Remember whom you address, child." the still forms of the elf brothers announce their presence for the first time since we departed the elf home. I'd pleasantly almost forgotten they were 'ere. Which one spoke is unimportant, as all elves look the same anyway "Neither their mother nor father would look kindly upon hearing you insult their heirs."

"We don't need yer assistant, Master Elf." I respond dismissively, not removing the distain from my voice. I glare at the lad to curb his tongue, for elf or not their words are true. Any insult or injury to these children will be heavily punished "Leave us now."

"We were instructed to-"

"The crest is a few hours away, we need you no longer. LEAVE."

"… This path has lessened in its treachery since your last... adventure." the two share a quick glance before bowing their heads in acceptance "As you wish."

The two depart quickly enough after thorough goodbyes to the children, probably more than happy to depart from our precence. The bear cub watches them go with a look of disinterest before turning 'is attention to us as we begine again. He says nothing for at least an hour before curiosity gets the better of him.

"So... question." He ignores the small girl as she claws at his hand I'm an attempt to escape.

"Was that the smartest thing to do, wise guy? They was here to protect the, ah, doubles."

"They were unnecessary." Dori grumbles, rubbin' 'is sore hand absently but keeping a firm grip on the prince "Let us take care of the prince and princess."

"A fine job you're doin'."

Weapons are drawn immediately at the strange voice from within the trees. The heirs of Durin are placed in the center of the group to shield them from the possible threat. A moment passes and then another, and another without any further sound from the intruder. He hides 'imself just off the road we travel; hidden in the rocks and trees like an elf but we know he is still there. Growing irritated, I call out gruffly.

"Who goes there?" When no one answers, but a low amused laugh can be heard, I spit onto the ground "Friend or foe?"

"…Friend or foe?" the voice questions, almost in confusion before stepping onto the road "Niether."

"You! Long Arm-"

He breathes a cloud of mist and I'm free falling through the air even as my feet stand firmly on the ground. All sense of bearings are gone as though they had never existed. Did they? Have I ever been more? Less? I do not know. Who is it? I do not know. I do not know. What do they want? I do not know. I do not know. I do not know. Where am I going? I do not... know. What am I... doing? I do... not... not... know not. My mind is so foggy…. I can not seem to grasp…anything… What… Who-

"I am going home."

"I… am going home." an echo… who is echoing me?

"I am not alone. My kith is with me."

"Not alone. Friend..."

"We are capable warriors. There is nothing to fear."

"Capable..." I do not know… That is not… "But… the children…?"

"There are no children here."

"There… were… I thought… what was I... doing?"

"There ARE no children here."

"There are…"

"THERE ARE NO CHILDREN HERE."

"There are no children here." Its such an obvious thing. Why would there be children here?

"... All is well."

"All is well."

"Home awaits."

"Home."

"Go."

My feet move of their own accord; a shuffling drum beat to match my heart. I think... it is not long before the haze over my eyes is lifted. Shaking my head to clear it, I glance around the rocky mountain path as we descend. It is a clear day and the path is clearer still; presenting only the eldest Ri brothers. We are finally returning home. While the trek will be dangerous, my companion and I are capable warriors and there is nothing to fear. On our last trip through these mountains, the halfing was a nuisance. Almost like a child. It is a great thing to be free of that burden for this trip. Despite knowing all this, my mind can not help but wonder if something has been left behind.

"Oi!" I call out to my Dori "Have we forgotten something?"

"If it was important," he calls back without stopping his march "we would not have forgotten it."

"Aye…" I nod, sure that he is right. Even so, I cast a glance over my shoulder wondering why my attention is so drawn to the canopy of trees below "Aye, I'm sure it's nothing."

~~~~~~~~~~Shishi~~~~~~~~~~

Long Arm is back and is kidnapping children. EVERYONE'S children apparently. He's not your average dwarf, if you haven't noticed yet. Any ideas on whats going to happen next? Heh heh heh.