It had been over a month. He had tried everything to attempt to talk to her, but she had avoided him at every turn. She ignored every text message he sent, she had run away from him in public several times, and had taken to even avoiding Yashiro's car, preferring to walk or bike wherever she needed to be, convenience be damned.

The guilt he felt was insurmountable. If he had only known how badly she would react to his kiss, he would have never taken it that far. Could she have been lying in the elevator? Did she lie to save his feelings? She probably thought he was a disgusting, lecherous pervert that tricked her into napping with him so he could take advantage of her. And how he hated himself for remembering the way her lips tasted and felt…

In the weeks since 'the incident', he hadn't been able to sleep. Dark circles were forming under his eyes, and he had started to wear concealer to cover them. He awoke most mornings with a nauseous pit in his stomach. What little food he ate, he struggled to keep down. He missed her smile, her voice, her general presence. He just wanted to hear her speak, even if they weren't in the same room.

That morning, he rolled out of bed and trudged to his bathroom. He stood in front of his sink and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was unkempt, and his cheeks were covered in short golden stubble. He sighed heavily and pulled his razor and shaving cream out of the medicine cabinet. As he shaved, he took in the hollow look in his bloodshot eyes and the frown on his face and resolved to pull himself together. You are a professional, and you have a job to do. You can't afford to let people see you like this. He shaved, applied his concealer, and then went to his bedroom closet to get dressed for the day.

When he emerged, he looked himself over in the floor length mirror on the back of his bedroom door. Well, he thought, it's true what they say. If you put 170 pounds of shit in an R'Mandy suit, it will look infinitely better. He made his way to the kitchen to grab a cream cheese bagel. He took a few bites and grimaced as his stomach rejected it almost instantly. He had been eating a lot less, if that were possible, simply because his stomach would not have it. His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, announcing Yashiro's arrival, and he threw the rest of the bagel away and headed downstairs.

He slid into the passenger seat, and Yashiro handed him a coffee. He accepted it gratefully, but was waiting for his stomach to stop roiling before taking a sip. Yashiro pulled out of the parking garage and toward LME.

"Are you ready?"

Ren blinked at his manager's question. "For what?"

Yashiro gave him a nervous chuckle. "Your ultrasound. Did you forget?"

Ren sighed. "I guess." He hadn't felt any pain since the initial growth of the uterus. He imagined that meant that it must have been reabsorbed. He was less worried about possibly still having a uterus and more worried about Kyoko never speaking to him again.

Yashiro patted his shoulder. "Lory's got a private doctor waiting for us at the office. He told him you've been having indigestion. So if nothing is found, then there will be no worry at all about him telling anyone that you ever had a uterus."

Ren took a sip of his coffee finally. "Wonderful," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

They pulled into the LME lot a few minutes later, and Yashiro shepherded Ren through the lobby, into the elevator, to the third floor, where an empty office had been reserved for their needs. When they entered, they found a smartly-dressed man with glasses sitting next to a chaise lounge with a portable ultrasound machine set up beside it. He got to his feet and bowed to Ren.

"Good morning, Tsuruga-san. I'm Doctor Kojima. Takarada-san tells me that you're experiencing some lower intestinal pain?"

Ren offered him a small smile. "Something like that."

The Doctor led him over to the chaise. "Alright then. I'll have you lay here. Shirt off, and pull your pants down around your hips."

Ren did as he was instructed and lay down on the lounge. The doctor squirted a warm gel on Ren's belly beneath his navel and placed the transducer against his skin. He moved it around a bit, looking at the screen, trying to deduce what was causing the trouble. He pressed in with slightly more pressure and then stilled.

"Um. Tsuruga-san… have you, uh… have you ever heard of a drug called MPREG?"

A chill went down Ren's spine. "...Yes."

The Doctor looked over his glasses at Ren. "And have you used said drug, Tsuruga-san?"

"I did a commercial for them a few weeks ago and unknowingly applied the real drug to my skin. I assume, since you're asking, it's because I still have a womb?"

The Doctor looked from Ren to Yashiro. "Are you two together?"

Yashiro, who had taken a seat in a chair nearby, jumped to his feet. "What are you implying, Doctor!?"

"Well," the doctor started carefully, "I'm just wondering if you are the father."

Yashiro's eyes went wide, and Ren looked at the doctor as though he had suddenly sprouted a second head. "What?"

The Doctor turned his screen toward Ren and pointed at it. "You're pregnant, Tsuruga-san. About five weeks."

Ren sat up, warping the image on the screen. "That is not possible! I haven't had any sexual contact in years, much less with a man!"

The Doctor shook his head. "It doesn't have to be sexual contact of that kind, though that is the most popular method for conception with this drug."

Ren stared at the screen, trying to work out what exactly the fuck he was looking at. "I was told that you had to swap DNA. I haven't been swapping any fucking DNA, Doc!"

The Doctor tilted his head to the side. "Have you open-mouth kissed anyone lately?"

Ren froze. A wave of nausea and dizziness hit him. The kiss had just managed to become a thousand times more problematic.

Yashiro saw the look on his face and was torn. He had fantasized about planning a baby shower for the couple in the far future, but not quite in this manner. The part of him that was friends with both Ren and Kyoko was incandescent with happiness, however the manager part of him could feel the ulcer beginning to form in the pit of his stomach. He took a steadying breath and addressed the doctor.

"Can you… get rid of it?"

Ren's hand went over his abdomen immediately. "What the fuck do you mean get rid of it?"

Yashiro cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. "I mean, if that's what you want, of course."

Ren considered that for a moment, but it was a foregone conclusion. Whatever was growing inside of him wasn't just a part of him. It was a part of Kyoko. He could never, ever bring himself to destroy something that Kyoko made, whether she did it knowingly or not.

"Never."

He stood up, wiped his belly off with a nearby towel and redressed quickly. Yashiro stared at him as he dressed, completely flummoxed. Ren bowed to the doctor and made his way to the door, leaving Yashiro to catch up with him. He wasn't even sure where he was going. His brain was awhirl with thoughts. You're pregnant. You're actually fucking pregnant. With Kyoko's baby. Kyoko's baby. The thought reverberated through his head.

If it were anyone else's, he'd have had an abortion that second. He was totally unready to be a father. His overseas career had barely begun, he had not healed his relationship with his parents, and best of all the mother of his child was a 17-year-old high school girl whom he should not have been kissing in the first place.

"Ren! Ren, slow down!"

Yashiro caught up to his charge and got in front of him. He put his hands up and patted Ren on the chest to get him to stop. "We need to find somewhere quiet and talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm keeping it."

Yashiro nodded. "I… as fucking nuts as that is, I am supportive of any decision you choose to make. But Ren, this is a lot. We're going to have to schedule doctor appointments and hire a nanny, and get you a bigger place, and Kyoko–"

"I'm not telling her."

Yashiro's heart fell. "What? But, Ren, it's her baby–"

Ren looked down at his friend, his face turned to stone. "And she is 17, still in school, has barely started her career, and can't handle that stress right now. This is not her fault. None of this is her fault. I will deal with the consequences."

Yashiro wanted to tell him that he wasn't going to be able to hide this from her, or anyone else, for very long. But he saw the look in Ren's eyes. His pupils were dilated and wild. He knew his charge was acting purely on instinct at that point, because that was all he had left. He took a deep breath, pushed his glasses up his nose, and steered Ren down another hallway.

"W-where are we going, Yashiro-san?"

"I'm canceling your jobs for today, and you're going home to rest. If you insist on having this baby, you're going to actually start taking care of yourself, or I will put my foot in your ass, Ren."

An hour later found Ren resting on his couch with a fruit smoothie, trying to process the events of that morning. He felt a migraine coming on and rubbed at his temples. He wanted to take a pill to make it go away, but he wasn't sure if that was okay for the baby.

The baby. Everything would revolve around this child for the next nine months. The doctor had said that he was about five weeks pregnant, which meant his pregnancy had barely begun. There would be no more drinking with Kijima, no more champagne at wrap parties, no more drinking to quell his anxieties surrounding Kyoko, no more doing his own stunts, and after a time, no more modeling.

Then there was Kyoko. What could he possibly say to her? It would look as though he had gotten pregnant by someone else, he knew that, but he couldn't risk her ruining her life trying to help him raise a baby that she unknowingly made. He couldn't risk the media finding out that they were having a baby together, either. That would look… bad. Really bad.

He threw his head back against the couch cushions and grunted in irritation. Of all the fucking things that could have ever happened to me… he sighed and patted his abdomen. "Not your fault, little guy."He smoothed his hair away from his face. Fuck, I'm starting to talk to it and everything. What even is my life? The front door opened and Yashiro rushed in with several paper shopping bags. He went over to Ren and dumped them out on the couch next to him.

"I got prenatal vitamins, pills for morning sickness, some ice cream and pickles–"

Ren covered his eyes with his hand. "I'm not craving pickles and ice cream, Yashiro."

Yashiro sat down beside him on the couch and popped the lid off the ice cream. "This is for me, not you, selfish. I need comfort food after having the Hiroshima bomb dropped in my fucking lap."

Ren sighed and popped the lid off of the vitamins and took two. He set the bottle down on the coffee table. "Do you think it's possible for me to… vanish… until the baby comes?"

Yashiro shook his head. "Not a snowball's chance in hell. It would wreck your career entirely. And imagine the scandal if some paparazzo managed to find you and revealed your big pregnant belly? No. It's much better to approach this head on."

Ren's phone rang, and he saw that it was Lory. He picked it up.

"...Hello."

He could hear the smirk over the phone. "I hear congratulations are in order."

"Har har."

"Oh, come now, Ren. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, and that's not good for the baby."

"What do you want?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Lory chuckled good-naturedly. "Yashiro was vague on who it was exactly that supplied the DNA for this new bundle of joy. Would you mind um… revealing your source?"

Ren's eye twitched. "You know there is only one source, old man."

Lory nodded on the other end of the line. "I thought so, but one never knows with the young people." He sighed dreamily. "I can't wait to see the baby! I've always wondered what your babies would look like. I hope they get Kyoko-chan's eyes."

Ren, unwillingly, found himself imagining what the child would look like and became misty-eyed. He shook his head, remembering his former annoyance. "You are not to tell her. She doesn't know, and this would bomb her career."

Lory laughed out loud. "Oh, you have nothing to fear from me on that front. It is best that Mogami-san not be involved for now. Anyway, I called to let you know that I had that doctor sign an NDA, and that he will be seeing you for all of your subsequent check-ups. Yashiro-san and I agree that you should get ahead of this, and have prepared a statement for you, stating that you wanted a child, did not want a relationship, and thus pursued artificial insemination after doing the commercial for MPREG."

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have to tell everyone that I was artificially–"

"Inseminated, yes. Do keep up, Ren, I haven't got all day."

"I hate you. You know that?"

Lory gasped. "Hate is such a strong word!"

Ren's eye twitched. "I've got stronger. Do you want to hear them?" he growled into the phone.

Lory tutted. "Now, now. Do I have to make a phone call to your mother?" Ren froze. He hadn't even thought about how Julie, and Kuu, would react to this. This would, after all, be their first grandchild. Lory heard his silence and chuckled. "Calm down, I'm joking."

"Somehow that wasn't very funny."

"Dear boy, you know that I wouldn't interfere with such a delicate thing."

Ren's eyes found the inside of his own skull. Lory had interfered with more delicate things than he could possibly count. Lory was the emperor of meddling with delicate things.

"Did I just hear you roll your eyes at me?"

Ren sighed. "Of course not. Is that all you wanted?"

Lory smiled gently. "I also wanted to let you know, I'm here for you, no matter what you need. All of my jokes aside, I know this is going to be the most difficult thing you've ever gone through."

Ren paused for a moment and then nodded. "That is…comforting. Thank you."

"Get some rest, Ren. We'll discuss this more later."

They hung up, and Ren turned to Yashiro, exasperated. "Artificial insemination. Really?"

Yashiro shoveled another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "It was that or we say the stork brought it, and I don't think anyone's buying that."

Ren looked at the ice cream and his stomach rumbled. "Is that… cookie dough?"

Yashiro picked up a second pint and put it in Ren's lap. "For you."

They talked late into the night, munching on the snacks that Yashiro had brought. They decided that they wouldn't announce the pregnancy until absolutely necessary, so that would buy them maybe three months. In that time, Yashiro would do his best to find less physical jobs for Ren, and get prepared for the media onslaught. Yashiro and Lory had already scheduled the subsequent doctor visits. The next one would take place five weeks from then, just to make sure everything was looking normal and to confirm the due date. The next would be in three months, to confirm the sex.

Ren went to bed that night completely exhausted. Yashiro had been afraid to leave him alone, but after assuring his manager that he would be fine and that he should go home and get some rest, Yashiro had, with much hesitation, left.

Ren spent most of the night in bed on his phone, scrolling through pregnancy websites, learning as much about having a baby as he possibly could. A thought occurred to him as he scrolled; the birth. How was he meant to give birth to a whole baby? He pulled open the waistband of his underwear to stare worriedly at his manhood and envisioned an exploded cartoon cigar. That singular image kept him tossing and turning until dawn.

When his alarm went off, he was already staring up at the ceiling, wide awake. He rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to shower and make himself presentable. He had a televised interview with an entertainment news channel that morning to promote his latest movie. As he stood under the warm water, he looked down at his abdomen and shook his head. I can't believe there's actually someone living in there. He placed a hand just under his belly button and patted it gently. Aside from the craziness of this circumstance, he was going to be a father, and that was exciting to him.

He finished washing up and got dressed. He went to the kitchen and found the morning sickness pills on the counter. He took one and then opened the refrigerator. He didn't want to eat, but he knew that it wasn't about what he wanted anymore. He had chosen to go through with this pregnancy, and that meant taking care of himself to take care of the baby.

He was no wizard in the kitchen, but he managed to make a small omelet and toast. It was a small breakfast, but it would have to be enough for the moment. Despite having taken the morning sickness pill, his stomach was still cramping uncomfortably.

When he finished, he went downstairs, where he found Yashiro waiting on him. As soon as he got in the car, Yashiro handed him a styrofoam cup. Ren took a sip and frowned. "Tea?"

"You're not supposed to have a ton of coffee in your condition. How are you feeling?"

Ren shrugged. "Fine. A bit sick, but I took the pills you gave me."

Yashiro nodded. "Good. We'll get your interview done this morning, and I'll get you a snack before your meeting later this afternoon. Do you think you'll need a nap before then?"

Ren rubbed at the spot between his eyebrows, "I'm pregnant, not a child. I don't need a nap. I'll take the snack, though. Kyoko would–" his voice died in his throat. He was going to say that Kyoko would want him to eat for the baby, but he couldn't have any idea what Kyoko would actually want when Kyoko had no idea. He didn't even know if Kyoko still cared very much about what he ate, or if she cared about him at all.

Yashiro reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's okay, Ren." Yashiro wanted to reassure Ren that Kyoko would want him to take care of himself, but he hadn't been blind to her conspicuous absence from their lives. He could only assume that her disappearance had to do with a certain 'open-mouth kiss'.

They pulled into the garage at TBM and took the elevator to the second floor. Yashiro sat Ren on a bench in the hallway. "I'll be back in a moment. I need to go find a vending machine to get your snack." Ren watched him go and then leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. He couldn't even think about having a snack at that moment. The omelet and toast had met the tea and were having a gang war inside his body. He rubbed at his stomach, trying to think good thoughts.

Unfortunately, the good thoughts were not enough.

He got up from the bench and dashed across the hallway to where a garbage can was standing. He ripped the domed lid off of it and vomited his breakfast. When he finished, he stood over the can, gripping both sides, breathing hard, trying to collect himself.

A towel appeared in his peripheral vision, and he took it gratefully. "Thank you, Yashiro-sa–" His eyes fell on the towel-bearer, and he blushed with embarrassment.

"You looked like you could use some help, Tsuruga-kun."

After a moment, he wiped his mouth and nodded at the chicken. "Yes. Thank you."