Now that everyone was here, it was time for dinner. The cook came out and rang the gong before hurrying away again.
Mrs Irma gave a small scram and accidentally threw her drink all over Mr Leonardo. "Oh. ." She said, mortified. "I'm so sorry! Here…" She got a tissue out her purse and dabbed at Mr Leonardo's neckline.
"Its ok." He said, gently brushing her hands away. "It'll dry." And so, with unsure looks at one another, the men allowed the ladies to go first and they all trooped off to the dining room.
"Your names will be at your places." Splinter explained.
"Hey, there's a chair left." Said the ever-astute Doctor Donatello. "Is that yours, Splinter?"
"Heavens no, Doctor. I'm only a butler. That chair is for our host, Mr Saki."
"Well, where is then?"
"He's on his way."
"Surely we should wait for him?" Mrs Irma asked anxiously.
"I'll keep something for him." Mona Lisa said, as she delivered food to them.
Miss April smiled. "What did you have in mind, dear?"
"This is really delicious." Doctor Donatello said, as soon as he'd taken the first bite. "What is it?"
"Shark Fin Soup." Splinter answered promptly.
Mrs Karai paused and looked round, gauging everyone else's reactions. No one seemed bothered, so she kept eating.
Less than five minutes later and the tense silence of the table got to Miss April. "Well." She said. "Someone's got to break the ice and it may as well be me. I mean, I'm used to introducing people, it's part of my job as a…well. I forgot were not meant to say who we really are. Anyway, it's always difficult when a group of new people get together for the first time, so I'm perfectly prepared to get the ball rolling. I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or my partner Donatello, but I am determined to enjoy myself and , might, this soup is…interesting, isn't it?"
Everyone bar Donatello looked at her like she was crazy.
Finally Mrs Irma said. "You say you are used to introducing strangers as part of your job?"
"Yes." Miss April said, cheerfully. "It's an integral part of your life when you're a…well…" She trailed off.
"I know who you are." Mr Leonardo said, so quietly that if he was not sitting across from Mrs April she may well have missed it. As it was she looked at Doctor Donatello in alarm.
Mrs Karai looked at Mr Leonardo coolly. "Aren't you going to tell us?"
Doctor Donatello removed his glasses nervously. "How do you know who she is?" He asked, cleaning them.
Mr Leonardo gave a small smile and said, simply. "I live in New York to.'
Colonel Raphael looked interested and peered across the table at Miss April as if he'd never seen her before. " "Oh, so you're based there, are you? I thought I'd seen you before?"
Looking alarmed Miss April stammered. "W-well, I am, well, n-not a hostess-"
"No? Well come on, what's your job?"
Mrs April pursed her lips and took a large mouthful of her food. Splinter opened the door just as Mrs Irma asked Miss Karai "So, what does your husband-."
Before she even got a chance to finish her question, Miss Karai said, in a tone that suggested the conversation was at a end. "Nothing," She reached into her purse and pulled out a little container with something in it.
Mrs Irma frowned. "Nothing?"
At the same time Mr Leonardo said, sharply. "What's that?"
"Garlic." Miss Karai said, like it was totally normal to carry garlic around in your purse. "I have it on nearly everything."
Just then there was a crash of thunder and Mrs Irma spilled her drink onto Doctor Donatello's trousers.
Mortified again, Mrs Irma stammered. "I-i'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm a little accident prone." Before proceeding to try and dry off the doctors trousers.
"Ah-watch it," Doctor Donatello said, with a not at all subtle look at Miss April.
Mrs Irma stopped.
Mona Lisa bustled around them, serving their main course. "Excuse me." She said, prettily, with a smile at Colonel Raphael. He smiled back somewhat nervously and started picking at his meal.
Mrs Karai made a sound of approval. "This is one of my favourite recipes!" She said, dousing it in more garlic.
Splinter smiled. "I know, Madam." He said, pleasantly.
Another tense silence, which stretched on until Mrs Irma said, with a smile. "So what do you do in New York, Doctor Donatello?"
The doctor gave no answer, just looked ag her like she was speaking gibberish.
Undeterred, Mrs Irma carried on with: "Come on, what do you do? I mean, how are we to get acquainted with each ither if we don't say anything about ourselves?"
Stabbing a lump of…something on her plate, Miss April said, angrily. "Maybe he doesn't want to get acquainted with you!"
With a huff Mrs Irma attacked her food, saying sulkily as she did so. "Well, forgive me for breathing, but if not for me trying to keep the conversation going we'd all be sitting here in embarrassed silence."
As if he was just waiting for someone to say something like this, Doctor Donatello daintily dabbed at his mouth and said, to Miss Irma, ""Are you afraid of silence, Mrs Irma?"
"Yes! What? No, why?"
Doctor Donatello smiled vaguely. "Oh, it just seems to me like you suffer from what we call 'pressure of speech'."
Miss Karai's eyes glittered with interest. "'We'? Who's 'we'? Are you a shrink?"
Doctor Donatello had a moment of panic about what to say before deciding on: "I do know a little about psychological medicine, yes."
"Are you an actual doctor?" Miss Karai asked.
Doctor Donatello, again, wrestled with himself. "I am."
Like a shark with its prey, Miss Karai pressed on. "So, what do you do Doctor?"
Not without a degree of pride, Doctor Donatello said. "I work for the UNO - the United Nations Organisation. Specifically a branch of UNO, W.H.O., the World Health Organisation." Then clearly deciding he'd had enough of the spotlight. the doctor turned it onto the Colonel. "What about you, Colonel? Are you a real colonel?"
"Of course not. Do I look old enough to be a real colonel?"
"You're not going to mention the coincidence that you also live and work in New York?" Mr Leonardo asked.
Colonel Raphael paused mid-chew, swallowed, and asked with as much nonchalance as he could muster. "How did you know that? Have we met before?"
"Not face to face. But word of mouth gets around."
"So, Mr Leonardo, does this mean you live in New York to?" Mrs Irma asked, with interest.
He nodded slightly.
Mrs Irma frowned, then addressed the table. "Does anyone here not live in New York?"
"I don't." Doctor Donatello said, with pleasure. Pleasure which Mr Leonardo took away from him when he pointed out.
"Yes, but you work for the United Nations. That's a government job. And the rest of all all live in a government town. Anyone here not earn their living from the goverment in one way or another?"
Another pause. Having had enough Colonel Raphael stood up and banged his fist on the table. "Splinter, where's our hosts and why have we been brought here?" He demanded.
Splinter seemed to be struggling with answering him, but was, literally, saved by the bell. He ducked out the room and hurried to answer it.
Colonel Raphael turned back to the rest of the guests and shrugged before sitting down heavily. Mona Lisa topped his glass up again.
In the hallway they heard voices getting closer.
"Good evening." Splinter was saying. "You are eagerly awaited."
To which a deep brass voice said. "You locking me in? I'll take the key."
"Over my dead body." Splinter said, firmly. Then he was back to being the polite butler. "May I take your bag?"
"No. I'll leave it here till I need it."
"It contains evidence, I presume." Splinter tried to remain neutral, but failed.
The brass voice picked up on this and said, with amusement. "Surprises, that's what it contains my friend - surprises!"
Splinter entered the dining room, followed by the man with the brass voice. He was a good head taller than Splinter, but all this meant was that he was merely average height. He had a good head of hair that was cut to look like a helmet of some sort. He was clad in black and had the effect of installing more fear in everyone present.
Splinter cleared his throat. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr Saki."