What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."
Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar...
Part CV...
Guillermo, having followed Nandor and Martha upstairs to a quiet spot...Nah, Redeemed Nandor won't kill me in his own new home with a big, mostly normal and thralled human guests, party going on downstairs...Awaits as Nandor strikes a rather formal pose, Martha rather proudly beside him.
So...She's likely slipping out of thrall...Guillermo eyeing her. But...Clearly not yet or she takes mind control in stride?
Unless, maybe Martha really did find him a good catch? That would be...Nice, I guess. Maybe a bit creepy.
Oh, don't start thinking along those lines...He cautions himself.
"So...Guillermo. Guillermo?" Nandor, a bit miffed by the lack of attention...
"Sorry...Sure. You were saying?"
"Yes...I have an announcement of some import to make. Guillermo De La Cruz...My familiar...My bodyguard...My dear friend...Though the thick and the thin...In the dark of Evil and occasionally the light of somewhat Good." Nandor, formally. "I, Nandor the Relentless, am proud to inform you..."
Marwa/Martha at his side, hanging on his arm, beaming...
"I'm Redeemed. Soul and the whole shebang..." Nandor concludes, eyeing Guillermo.
"Well...That's..." Guillermo, struggling to look impressed. "Wonderful."
Funny, he seems about the same. I actually always thought his soul was a bit more of...Well, the kill and pillage type? Nice he still remembers me, though.
"So...Your soul is back, in there?" Guillermo carefully. "And you still remember everything...? I mean, as a vampire? How's that working?"
"Oh, fine. I really didn't even notice the change till Dracula told me. We had a wonderful time by the way reenacting the Battle of Varna. His little girl, Althea...Vampire Slayer, Daughter of Dracula...Turns out to be a wonderfully formidable battlefield commander. But I feel about the same, though frankly now I really feel like scarfing down some of that wonderful food we've set out. I hope there are some of those ribs still available."
"Plenty...You're actually able to eat human food again?" Guillermo stares.
"Vlad does and says I shouldn't have a problem, in a bit. He especially liked the spicy sausages. And he says the fancy imported beer Laszlo ordered is excellent."
"Does that mean...?" Guillermo now intrigued. "I mean...You've lost..."
"No, still Immortal. As obviously Vlad remains. Nice fringe in some ways. Though it seems we are both a bit more breakable. He says I probably can't fly now, though we shall see. I was always an excellent flyer in human form. I should miss that a little."
"We could do flight school." Marwa/Martha notes. "I've always wanted to learn."
"Hmmn...Could work." Nandor shrugs. "Not quite the same, but I would enjoy flying with you, my love. And you know, I won't keep up with the Immortal unless you can be with me...Oh, I'm forgetting..." he sheepishly eyed her. "Guillermo..."
"Best of all, I've been rejoined by my dearest of wives, Marwa." Nandor indicating Martha beside him.
"I'm so pleased to finally meet my dear husband's friend, protector, and confidant with all my selves together and fully aware." Martha/Marwa smiling.
Guillermo blinking at Martha in her gown, looking radiant and about ten years younger than he'd remembered her...From just a few minutes ago.
And now she has a slight accent?
But...
"My body was elsewhere but my immortal soul was reincarnated here, in Martha...Explains some things, eh?" she smiles.
"I...Suppose...Yes." Guillermo nods, considering, then simply accepting. "Well, congratulations."
"Thank you, my friend. Oh, and I release you from all previous evil tasks you were in charge of and so on..." Nandor nods.
"I was already resigned but ok...Thanks." Guillermo nods.
"Though, Guillermo...You may need some fancy legalistic aide stuff from me at the Judgement Day." Nandor wags finger. "You have done a number of shall we say, not so fitting things."
"I know." Guillermo sighs. "I'm guiltier than you even. I wasn't taken and a demon wasn't running my life."
Oh, Guillermo." Marwa/Martha, soothingly, offering pat on arm. "Nandor was often a terrible scourge to innocent people even when alive. Though it was his patriotic duty to the Sultan to be a scourge."
"Thanks, dear." Nandor, pleased.
"The little woman defends me..." he beams to Guillermo. "Well, anyway I want you to know, that one of my sacred duties of Redemption will be to help you win forgiveness for your crimes."
"He can help, Guillermo." Martha/Marwa nods eagerly. "My Nandor was a Sultan-appointed judge of the Christians of our region in his day."
"Really?" Guillermo stares. "You never mentioned being a judge..." to Nandor.
"Well, it was a side thing and not as exciting or sexy as being a general/conqueror/pillager." Nandor shrugs. "Though it was not an easy task carrying the Ottoman, Byzantine, and Al-Qolnida legal codes in my head. I had to have sixty clerks following me around whenever I was on duty."
"My father was one of the sixty..." Marwa/Martha smiles. "It's how we met. I was bringing Papa his lunch and there he was, Judge Nandor the Implacable, on his bench."
"I had to have another title when doing my civil work. Relentless sounded too military." Nandor explains to Guillermo's puzzled look.
"Of course, I'd have to get a handle on the defense side of things, but I had to do that as a general...Sometimes."
"Well...Thanks." Sigh. "I really appreciate it, but I think I'll have to face my punishment, whatever it is."
"Well...You could go on helping Nandor in his new role as heroic redeemed vampire hero." Marwa/Martha notes, eagerly. "You being a Vampire Hunter of noble descent, me being both a modern woman and an old soul and brilliant astronomer/mathematician, and Nandor, a brilliant commander and heroic redeemed vampire..."
"Marwa...You're embarrassing me..." Nandor, off-hand wave. "And I can't let you be at risk...It's unwarriorlike."
"Nandor, I intend to work out of the home. You've come a long way but remember it is the 21st century." She eyes him.
"So I have so often been told..." he sighs.
"Anyway, Guillermo...We would make an amazing team. Think of all the good we can do." Marwa/Martha concludes. "And I'm sure we'd have plenty of time to continue our other work, though really it's time I moved onto sales with Ginny and got out of the office a bit."
"I suppose it could be pretty neat. Like those husband and wife and sidekick teams on TV. Heck...We could be bigger than Vlad Dracula since his Redemption..." Nandor, considering.
"Well, it's tempting but..." Guillermo pauses, gently.
"You got other things to do?" Nandor eyes him. "I know you have a fortune now, Mr. Gazillions Playboy, but there is still so much wrong to right. Innocents to protect. I even hear there's some demented maniac running for the highest office in America. Before I may not have cared all that much but now I see we have to face our responsibilities. I'm rather well-to-do myself, you know, and I have a successful business lady fiancée."
"So-so, but I have some good ideas for the business. And I hope, once I get a modern degree, to resume my astronomical career, at least on the side." Marwa/Martha notes.
"Hmmn...Well...We can discuss all this later." Nandor notes.
Cut to camera...Nandor on sofa later...
"Had to say something...I know I'll have to cave, but underneath Martha is a 13th century Marwa and she expects me to be a little, you know...Well, sexist, but also firm and strong. But I know, I know...I'll have to 'enter the modern world' and all that." wave of hand. "It's just so Marwa feels at home. And I am proud of my wife and her accomplishments, it's why I made her wife number 22. Plus she made my heart skip a furious beat whenever she came to see her papa in my court."
Present...
"But the point is, Guillermo...We can't sit on our backsides in luxury when so much waits to be done for Good."
"That's true...And remarkable, coming from you. But..."
"Nandor, even as a vampire, was a responsible government officer. Did he tell you how when he was human he rebelled against the mad Sultan and was punished by being imprisoned in the Sultan's vampire harem, at the fiendish mercy of the evil vampiresses?" Marwa/Martha, proudly.
"Now, really don't have to go into that one, dearest..." Nandor notes. "And the coup attempt was a team effort. Leading to the mass execution of most of our generals..."
"He did tell me a little of that...As far as his punishment..." Guillermo nods, eyeing Nandor who makes urgent signs to forego further discussion on the topic.
Cut to Nandor in earlier days boasting to Guillermo in his crypt of his deliriously passionate transformation...Ten days of fearful torture and ten nights of horror and ultimate bliss...Culminating in his transformation on the eleventh.
"Nope, really don't..." Nandor, quickly. "Well, Guillermo, we can't let Laszlo and Nadja find out about my transformation just yet, so we'll be circulating about the party. Think over our offer...Be a big plus on your atonement resume." Points finger.
Marwa/Martha winking at Guillermo as she leaves with Nandor, on his arm... "Have you met my fiancée/former wife?" Nandor addresses one of the wait staff.
Cut to Marwa/Martha on sofa later...
"I know all about the harem of delights..." she grins. "Nandor is so cute being embarrassed, but I know it was an orgy of sex, thrall, some torture, and eternal condemnation. I suppose in my first life I might have been a bit miffed but, hey...He came back to me, eh?" beam. "Besides I was part of a human harem before the mad Sultan got my boy. Wasn't easy but knowing in my heart and seeing in Nandor's eyes, no matter how maddened by the heat and terrors of battle, I was the real deal, wife-wise, made it worthwhile. Plus, Nandor never had to strangle excess baby heirs to cut down on succession candidates or the like, not being the Sultan, so...Things were ok." Nods.
"Though it was hard after he disappeared, and the Sultan said he'd disowned us before leaving on campaign and we were available as slaves. Not fun." Sigh. "Lucky the plague got many of us within a month or two. Starvation and/or servitude with constant rape? Not a nice life prospect."
Hmmn? Eyes a questioner among the crew. "Oh, certainly I cared for my modern husband as Martha. Georgie was a very nice fellow all-in-all, though he did cheat on me. Though I think he sensed all my heart wasn't fully in our marriage, poor guy, so...Well, I like to hope she was his true love in another life, but to be fair I always sensed there was someone else out there for me. My true love. And, here he is, again. And as you've seen...Looking for me as well." Beams. "Even as a vampire. But I do think I prefer being the one and only now."
"Yeah, I would say my arranged marriage worked out really well, eh?" thoughtful nod.
...
Having pledged to consider the offer of Redeemed Vampiric Hero's sidekick and partner, Guillermo descends back to the first floor leaving Nandor and Marwa/Martha to their, as she put it, "getting to know you again" activities, to find Colin Robinson cynically eyeing him at the foot of the staircase.
"Hey, I see Nandor didn't kill you for deserting your post. Nice." Colin nods. "You know most of his sort don't take familiar/bodyguard leaving so well. They usually rip heads."
"Right, well...Nandor and I have a good relationship. He took it just fine."
"Great. So, you'll be off to enjoy your vast fortune and never a thought to those you helped...Send to their divine rewards, eh?" sneer, lower voice on the end, remark.
"It's really none of your business and nothing to do with you what I do, Mr. Robinson."
Puts hand up... "Hey, just meant to congratulate you. Not every familiar with a load of ...Memories...Is able to just walk away from his past. But, if you ever need good accounting help, with that vast fortune...Gained how?" innocent stare.
"My family worked hard for their success..." Guillermo, coldly. "My auntie and her brothers didn't have your special talents."
"No, just a lot of vampires' houses and treasure to loot...Your aunt at least. I keep track of famous vampire hunters and such and she was pretty famous." Colin smiles.
"Great. Excuse me...Wait." Guillermo pauses, eyeing him. "You knew Mrs. Afanas was a..." lowering voice as a waiter passes. "...vampire hunter, didn't you? And you never said a word?"
"What and have the Barren rip my head off to protect his lady?" Colin shrugs. "I knew he'd betrayed his kind by associating with one of them, but not my business, right?"
"And after you took care of him, in good ole VH fashion, and the guys were all so friendly with her after she helped save their necks, after I saved them...Pardon...After we...Saved them. There was no point in having them all riled up about her." Colin notes. "In a way, I saved her too, I would say. That's me, the Heroic UnRedeemed energy vampire."
Guillermo eyeing him.
"Have a great life, long as it may last...I give you eh, thirty more unless you go all 'natural' and lose fifty pounds. Nice knowing ya, kid." Colin smiles thinly, offering hand. "Don't worry. His Excellency the Relentless has ordered no draining tonight for the party duration. Though I did sneak a little from Ginny's college brat. But pledge of honor..."
"Sure." Guillermo shaking briefly. "You have a good unlife."
"Two words that never should go together." Colin chuckles coldly.
Guillermo nodding and turning away...Seeing Phyllis smilingly wave to him to come over...Erika beside her.
"Oh, and good luck with your enslaved...I mean enthralled...Girl." Colin hisses. "I imagine that'll be a long and happy relationship, for you."
...