A/N: I keep saying I'll update soon, and end up taking forever. Sorry.
I have no excuses, although I'm thinking of writing a bit more for this fic alongside a few side projects before I continue the Reading.
Big thanks to my Beta Reader, SandaKagami. You're a Champ!
Biggest thanks to my (only) supporter (for now), Castermaster7 who's been consistently sending me bucks even though I took so long to get this out. Sorry again! And thanks for your patience!
The story is starting to pick up the pace a bit. From Zetsu's shenanigans on Olympus to Naruto's past tragedies coming to light progressively.
Without Further Ado!
Chapter 7: Strange Encounters of the Monstrous Kind
Konohagakure no Sato was no stranger to conflict.
It was part of the course as the Land of Fire's military village and the most powerful one on the planet.
It had participated in four Shinobi World Wars, had both invaded and been invaded by other villages, was attacked by Tailed Beasts and some of the most fearsome terrorists the world had ever known…
And it had always recovered.
…
…
Naruto and Sasuke both gave it their all.
The sky had been lit up with their violent exchange. Blasts of all colors had decorated it as Naruto used every variation of the [Rasengan] and the [Tailed Beast Bomb] that he could think of, while Sasuke's [Rinne-Sharingan] gave him an immense arsenal to throw at Kaguya.
They threw everything they had at Kaguya.
It had been effective for a while, mainly since the madwoman acted more like a puppet than a person and couldn't defend herself well against the Uzumaki and Uchiha's onslaughts.
But then, when they managed to finally destroy her body and reduce her to a mere golden mist, they couldn't even breathe a sigh of relief before the self-proclaimed 'goddess' reformed, nary a scratch on her pristine form.
So they destroyed her body again, and she reformed again…
Again, and again, and again…
While repetition with the expectation of a different outcome was a sign of insanity, Naruto was reaching the end of his rope, even if he still held onto hope like a fickle flame.
So even when he lost the mental link to his partner and the other Bijuus…
'They'll come here, they have to.'
Even when the quasi-totality of the buildings was reduced to rubble...
'Buildings can be rebuilt.'
Even when Kaguya decimated entire platoons of their forces with ease...
'They bought time for the civilians.'
Even when the madwoman used a horrifying technique that affected some of the evacuees and mutated them into White Zetsus…
'There's a way… there has to be a way!'
Even when Sasuke's [Susannoo] broke as he futilely shielded his pregnant wife, only to be saved at the last minute by a rageful, youthful Rock Lee…
'We can still beat her… we have to beat her.'
Even when Sasuke came up with a last-ditch plan and Lee, despite Naruto's vehement protests, opened the [Eighth Inner Gate] and assisted Sasuke to buy time for the young Sage to do what needed to be done…
"Please!" a worn-down Naruto screamed as he took out the key to their plan and strapped it to his face without hesitation.
The Shinigami Mask glowed as it affixed itself to the Uzumaki's face and summoned a foreign power to their realm.
…
…
Lee's form began to crack as the backlash of his suicidal technique hit him full force, but even so, with a final cry of "YOUTH!", he managed to land an earth-shattering kick into the goddess's form, destroying much of her torso and bisecting her.
The Beautiful Green Beast of the Leaf gave his last hurrah as his body dissolved into ash in the wind. The opportunity he gave was seized by Sasuke, who practically teleported above Kaguya's recovering form.
Despite the loss of his wife and unborn child, his last remaining family, the Uchiha, hadn't broken down.
He couldn't afford to.
"[TSUKUYOMI]!" the man's left eye began crying blood as he met Kaguya's gaze and momentarily froze her in the deadly illusion.
Not giving her a second to breathe, Sasuke's right eye cried a river of blood as well.
"[AMATERASU]!" His scream was soon overtaken by his opponent's pained wails as her form became engulfed in a black blazing fire.
Even with the feeling of his skull splitting open from the pain, he didn't stop. He couldn't stop.
He couldn't afford for this event ever to happen again. Even if he and the rest of the Leaf had to lay down their lives to put down this monster once and for all, he would take comfort in the fact that Naruto and whoever remained of humanity at this point would carry on their legacy.
Using [Rikudō — Chibaku Tensei] was out of the question. It had failed twice before and would likely not work a third time to seal her permanently.
Their opponent was also different. As he'd found out with his eyes, her incredulous ability to regenerate stemmed from the fact she was never using a real body.
Merely a puppet, a doll. One that the real body could simply piece back together every time it was broken.
That real body in question, as it turns out, was the Earth itself.
'[Chibaku Tensei] might not be a permanent solution, but it'll serve to immobilize her long enough' Sasuke thought grimly as he poured the entirety of his dwindling chakra into the technique, essentially dooming himself alongside his opponent.
As his chakra exhaustion took hold of him, Sasuke's eyes shifted to Naruto's glowing and shaking form.
Before both he and Kaguya were encased in stone, the Uchiha managed to glimpse the gigantic form of a specter that started to materialize behind his friend.
'No mortal could ever hope to face Mother Nature…' he gave a final vindictive smirk as he was buried into his self-made grave.
'So hopefully, the Spirit of Death could be a fitting opponent,' was Sasuke Uchiha's final thought as his body was crushed.
…
…
The young Sage didn't have time to mourn, as he felt his best friend's chakra signature get snuffed.
Any and all feelings of sadness were replaced with an instinctive terror as he felt a chill creep up his spine.
It was no mere feeling either, but quite literal, as the world around him lost its colors and became so cold he could almost see his own breath.
Everything was frozen, in every sense of the word, from the flap of a bird's wing to the crackling of the Earth.
And then...
He heard it...
"Naruto, son of Minato."
The voice was but a whisper, but the masked blond could feel his soul echo a response before his tongue could even verbalize one. It was as if his very being had already surrendered itself to the apparition.
"Be not afraid."
As if his soul itself was obeying the order, any fear he might have felt evaporated, only to be replaced by an uneasy sense of comfort, just as the young Sage finally turned to look up at the being he summoned.
"Lord Shinigami… I have come to bargain."
The Spirit of Death towered over the Sage, his size alone eclipsing the mortal's four times over. Much like what one would expect from a specter, his body was almost translucent yet retained enough substance for his features to be distinctive.
From behind the snarling mask it wore, the being's glowing red eyes shifted over to the newly formed prison floating in the sky. It raised an arm, ruffling its long white robe in the process, and revealed a purple-skinned hand.
With a clawed finger pointed at the rocky formation the Shinigami shifted his eyes down towards the man who dared to summon him.
"You wish for the destruction of that one," he stated, matter-of-factly, "for the countless lives she has taken and the destruction she has wrought on your civilization."
"..." Naruto looked back at him, his body tense, but managed a slight nod.
"You wish to save the remnants of humanity and ensure a possible future for them,"
Again, Naruto nodded, and despite the situation, he felt a spark of hope in his heart.
Could he really do it? Could he-
"It is impossible," the Shinigami's answer halted his thoughts.
"What? Why-"
"Because there is no one left."
"..." the Sage stilled. Behind the smiling mask, his eyes were wide as dinner plates, and his breathing halted. Slowly, he curled both of his hands and grabbed his hair. His legs gave out under him, and he held his head down.
"Naruto, son of Minato. You are the only man left on Earth."
The blond scratched at his head, grabbed fistfuls of his hair, and pulled at them painfully, "Stop it."
"Destroying her at this point would serve no purpose."
"Stop it!" the Sage ripped at his hair, tying in vain to take out his mounting frustration.
"And beyond that-"
"I SAID STOP IT!"
The shout echoed through the wasteland, and it seemed as if even the Spirit of Death was shocked into silence by the mortal's insolence.
Never would a mortal have spoken in such a way, especially to a being that could snap him out of existence, but Naruto was a man renowned for his brashness and lack of care for authority, and that attitude bled into this interaction as well.
"I don't want to accept it! I refuse!" the blond screamed at the spirit, "You're the god of Death right? Then bring everyone back! We did it when Nagato attacked Konoha, right? You can do it again! This isn't right! None… none of it is!" As he yelled this, he then collapsed on his hands and knees in prostration, his head hitting the ground heavily.
"I'll give you everything! Everything that I am! Please!"
The being was silent as if pondering the request. It loomed over the pleading mortal and looked down at him with a cold, passive stare.
"It is impossible," once again, the refusal came out with the bluntness of a hammer and the swiftness of a whip.
The blond rammed his head into the ground again, cracking it.
"PLEASE! ANYTHING!" blood began pooling onto the ground from Naruto's forehead.
"Pleading serves no purpose, Naruto, son of Minato. Nor does bargaining."
The young Sage raised his bloodied face to peer up at the Shinigami, his eyes bloodshot and his features desperate. He opened his mouth to protest, but as he looked at the Spirit's emotionless mask and impassive red eyes, his voice was caught in his throat.
After an eternity of silence, a word clawed its way out of his mouth.
"...why?"
Silence stretched for what felt like an eternity, even with the time frozen as it is and the world devoid of colors.
Still, it seemed like the Spirit of Death was willing to humor the mortal. He once again raised a hand and pointed at the ball of rocks in the sky.
"This one is like me. A Domain gifted with Consciousness and Free Will. It cannot be destroyed by anyone but the One Above All," the Spirit hunched over, his figure looming over the blond.
"Unfortunately for your case, the One Above All has plans for her," his eyes bore into the Sage's own, but before the mortal could reply, he continued, "and unfortunately for her, the price of that tantrum she's thrown will be heavy."
Naruto was left speechless at the statement and hung his head down—one of the words the Spirit of Death uttered repeated in his mind like an echo.
'Tantrum'
.
.
'Tantrum…'
.
.
'He… he calls this… a Tantrum?' The world around him felt colder with each passing second.
The young Sage could hear a wail. An inhuman one that thrummed in his ears. His mouth filled with the taste of iron as he felt pain in his throat.
It took him what felt like hours to understand the sound was coming from him as his vocal cords tore themselves apart in an attempt to enunciate the man's feelings.
He screamed at the incomprehensibility of what occurred. Of what he was told.
His mind was tearing itself at the seams, as an understanding of his situation dawned on him, didn't fully register, and looped back to try and pass through again.
And then, like a dam, everything broke at once, and Naruto stopped, frozen in his tracks.
His eyes grew blank as he fell back, lying down and staring emptily at the sky.
…
The Shinigami looked down at the now silent mortal.
He could feel the seed of madness growing in him.
If the Shinigami possessed anything other than a book of Divine Law for a heart, the sight would have moved him.
Alas… Rules are Rules.
His raised hand glowed, as did the floating prison where the other Domain was captured. Runic symbols enveloped it like chains and melded into it.
Gaia, or whatever the Earth wished to call herself, will never again be able to summon her full power.
As has been decreed by the Almighty.
Her actions in the future, if repentant, will define the result of her final Judgment.
His task accomplished, the Spirit of Death turned his attention to the mortal.
"Farewell Naruto, son of Minato. Your life has not been a kind one… and it will not be so for a long time," his red eyes stared impassively at the world's last living human. His expression was empty, and his eyes stared at the sky, even as tears ran down the sides of his head.
"Until then… make the best of it," with that final piece, the spirit's body vanished.
Naruto N. Uzumaki was left alone in a wasteland of a world.
~~ Death, Earth, and Mortals ~~
Olympus, Demeter's Potager, 2nd of September 2000
A lone servant, dressed in a farmer's overalls, knelt by a field of cherry tomatoes. With the open satchel at his side, Delicately, as if he were afraid of harming the precious fruits, he plucked them and arranged them in a separate Tupperware. Those were a new batch of Lady Demeter's 'experimental fruits' that, according to her, could feed a man for a week.
As appetizing as they looked, the goddess's servants knew better than ever to taste any of the produce without explicit permission. Doing otherwise would land them an… unfortunate fate.
The servant nervously spied a grove of various ferns and bushes off to the side, one aptly named the 'Punishment Section.'
Yeah… Lavender wouldn't look good on him, even if Lady Demeter would eventually turn him and the others back to normal.
Probably… hopefully…
As he looked down at the rows of plants, his eyes narrowed as he recounted them mentally.
'Huh… could've sworn we've only planted twenty saplings here…'
There were twenty-one, all identical.
Normally, he'd have to do the unthinkable and pluck one of the saplings out, but…
The servant nervously glanced at the 'Punishment Section' again.
Maybe Lady Demeter or Lady Persephone passed through here recently… Plants do tend to sprout wherever they walk…
He hoped that excuse would work.
…
As soon as the man packed his things and moved on, something bizarre occurred.
One of the saplings twitched, then turned from side to side as if looking around to look for something.
Seemingly satisfied with whatever it found, its form shifted, and out from the Earth stepped a green-tinted Ze-Two, still camouflaging himself with the surrounding flora as he made sure the coast was clear.
Seeing every servant occupied with something else and turning his gaze at the locations of the hidden cameras, he made sure to remain in the small blindspot he'd caught. The spy turned to one of the saplings that carried fruit. The cherry tomatoes on it were red, and while not as perfectly ripe as he'd like, he'd take what he could get.
Slowly, carefully, the clone plucked one of the fruits and brought it closer to inspect it.
Instinctively, he felt it was different from its counterparts on Earth. Its smell was stronger, its color richer, and its weight heavier than its size lead to believe.
'Hmm,' the now-revealed Ze-Two thought as he inspected the tomato, 'it's faint, but there are traces of chakra in there too.'
'Ah well… let's get this over with,' he threw the fruit into his maw and bit it.
As soon as his teeth pierced the tomato's flesh, the fruit exploded in a combination of juice, seeds, and most of all…
Tanginess. Sweetness.
'Fllllllllaaaaaavooooooor,' Ze-Two's eyes shrunk to the size of pinpricks.
'Oh God… Oh God...' the clone breathed, feeling himself grow full from the first bite alone as his vision began to darken.
'OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod-'
Had the clone chosen any other batch, maybe such an intense reaction wouldn't have occurred. Alas, due to his self-imposed pressure and hurry, he'd been hasty in his choice. Thus ingesting a week's worth of biomass in a single bite after feeding on scraps for days.
His tastebuds couldn't adapt fast enough. It was too overwhelming.
Ze-Two's vision blinked dark, his willpower shattering like glass as his body itself threw caution to the wind. His skin went back to its inky black tone, and his form grew with a sole goal: Consume Everything.
His stomach had practically wrenched away his body's metaphorical driver's seat and taken complete control over his actions.
In the following hunger-fueled fervor, Ze-Two would distinctly remember hearing shrieks of terror before he blacked out.
…
'That woman is a genius… Damnit'
Leeds Point, Southern New Jersey
The Sage cast a warm gaze upon his most recent charges.
Well, two of them at least. Luke and Thalia were in the front accomplishing an exercise he gave them, Zetsu was at the back brooding or brainstorming or… whatever it is his boy's mind conjured up most days. The machinations of his son's mind still eluded him sometimes.
As for the ankle-biter of the group…
"You alright there Annie?" Naruto craned his neck up to look at his youngest charge.
"Mmm hmm!" the blonde girl replied, raising the book she'd been reading while riding on the man's shoulder, and shot the man a grin.
"This book's awesome, Mister Naruto! Thank you!"
Naruto met her grin with his blinding smile, "It really is a page-turner, ain't it?"
The little academic had been asking him about getting some books for her to read, and despite Luke and Thalia chiding her about her manners, the man had laughed it off and gladly granted her request.
However, not having any books on architecture with him at the moment, he had pulled out a translated copy of one of his personal favorites.
He'd never expected a kid Annabeth's age to show interest or to even get into a piece of literature as complex as 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms', let alone someone with ADHD and dyslexia, but the demigoddess had pleasantly surprised him with both her eagerness and dedication.
Then again, it was either that or 'The Journey to the West' and that one was too on the nose for the moment… maybe in a few months… or years.
"Soooo, who's your favorite character?" he asked her, although he did have an inkling of the answer.
Annabeth quickly flipped the pages of the book and then angled it in front of Naruto, pointing at one specific illustration.
"I like Z-zh-zhu… err…" she became tongue-tied due to the tricky pronunciation.
Naruto smiled at her, "Zhuge Liang is pronounced Joo-guh Ly-ang, Annie. Joo-guh Ly-ang," at the girl's pout he raised one of his hands to ruffle her blonde locks, "Hey it's okay to not know, ya know? Heh… Mandarin ain't easy on the tongue. Especially for someone who's only spoken English their entire lives."
"You speak Mandarin, Mister Naruto?"
"Hao de" the Sage answered back with a toothy grin.
"Ooooh! Can you teach me?"
"Wo dang ran neng!" Naruto winked at the girl, feeling a bit smug at her childish wonder. Maybe he could have her learn a thing or two.
A language from the Mediterranean. Latin languages like French or Italian were usually his go-to, as they weren't too difficult for an English speaker to learn.
But where was the fun in that?
Imagine the misunderstanding Annabeth could cause by switching to a language she had no business knowing… heh.
Hmm… maybe Arabic, though probably not the North African dialect as it merged with Berber. He was a bit rusty, as it's been a while since he joined a Djinn caravan in their yearly pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia or their visits to Iraq and Iran.
Just remembering all those banquets…
His stomach growled.
'Haiya~ what I wouldn't give for some Kabsa right now… or ramen. Ramen's always good.'
Wishing to distract himself from the thought of food (for now), Naruto moved back to the earlier subject and looked back up at the little demigoddess.
"So, what do you like about Zhuge?" eager to think about something other than food, he continued the conversation and awwed internally when Annabeth started gushing.
"Oh! Oh! He's so smart and cunning! It's like reading about Ulysses or Alexander the Great! Especially in the battle of the Red Cliffs when Cao Cao claimed he had eight hundred thousand soldiers, and Liu Bei only had fifty thousand and not enough weapons! So, err… Joo-guh had to use a super cool strategy where he used boats to 'borrow' Cao Cao's arrows and…" the girl rambled on while Naruto listened to her with a smile.
Heh… he had a feeling she'd take a shine to Zhuge, or as the smug little brat liked to call himself, Kongming. While many of his feats were exaggerated in the books, his cunning and intelligence certainly were not.
He'd met the young man a few times during the Three Kingdoms era and played some Go with him.
That smug little brat ended up beating him almost every time.
Hopefully, Annie would get all those smarts, without the mountain-sized chip on her shoulder.
Despite his present predicament, Luke could honestly say he's been having a great week. He huffed and puffed as he continued to carry a great weight on his back.
He'd been feeling better… about everything, really…
They'd started this journey as two teens who ran away on a quest to find a home that accepted them. Along the way, they found a little sister and resolved to help her as well. Then, a pair of strangers came along and took them in, accompanying and protecting them throughout the summer, and despite his initial reservations about them, the boy could feel his mistrust ebb away the longer he spent with them.
Mister Naruto offering to teach some super cool moves he'd seen the man using was also a plus, even if he'd never admit to being bribed with training.
Add to that the pep talk he'd gotten from the older blond when he was at his lowest point and his friends coming through by turning down Artemis' -the frickin' goddess herself- invitation, and there was a valid reason for his good mood.
A good mood that was reeeally being tested right about now.
'Inner peace…' the boy exhaled softly as he carried the heaviest load one could imagine on his back. A load so great, he doubted Atlas himself could lift it for as long as he did.
Said load moved, then pinched his cheek painfully.
"Why're you looking so tired? Are you thinking I'm fat? Huh, twinkle toes?" the spitfire known as Thalia Grace continued pinching and prodding his cheek.
'Inner peace…' the boy repeated like a mantra. He'd seen it all the time in those old Kung-Fu movies he used to watch as a kid.
As if she sensed his thoughts, Thalia redoubled her efforts, this time grabbing both her friend's cheeks and stretching them painfully.
"Answer meeeee… You sayin' I'm heavy? Huh? What is it Luke?"
Whether it was because of the mischievousness that all children of Hermes were known for or his own pettiness, Luke decided to poke the proverbial bear a bit more.
Through the pain in his cheeks, he managed to mumble out his answer.
"Sjt… bt"
"What was that?"
"Jsht yor bitt"
Thalia narrowed her eyes and moved swiftly, her legs coiling around Luke's waist from behind like a snake and locking at the front while her arms shifted on his neck until she started pulling one of her forearms and putting a bit of pressure on her hold.
A picture-perfect armbar.
Or it would have been perfect had Luke not anticipated the move and put a hand between her arms.
The two began struggling. It was a losing battle for the blond demigod as he had to maintain balance while forcing his friend's arms away from his neck.
"Wanna run that by me again?" Thalia demanded while she tried to shift her weight and bring both of them to the ground.
Unluckily for her, Luke was both figuratively and literally quicker on his feet and decided that if she wanted to eat dirt so much, then he'd help her do so.
With a whirl of his body, the boy threw himself on his back, using Thalia to cushion his fall.
"OOF!" the demigoddess was shocked by the impact and momentarily released her hold on her victim.
"I think the ground cracked a bit under you Thals!" Luke laughed as he stood over her.
Thalia felt her cheeks burn in both embarrassment and anger. So she reacted as she always did in such a scenario, with wanton, premeditated violence.
"Ow!" Luke yelped as his feet were kicked from under him, and he joined the ravenette on the ground.
From there, the situation only escalated.
The two teenagers lunged at each other and rolled on the ground.
"Got noodle arms too, twinkle toes?"
"They're just tired from carrying you! I've seen Cyclops with less fat!"
The duo tumbled on the ground, then got up and started chasing one another, laughing all the while.
Soon, Annabeth decided she wanted to join and, with some prompting from her current 'steed,' was let down to chase after her friends.
"Wait for me, guys!"
Naruto took the book Annabeth left with him and opened it to see which page she had bookmarked.
"Huh… twenty pages in twenty minutes… not bad for a kid with dyslexia," the Sage muttered with a soft smile.
As soon as they were alone, Zetsu turned to address his father.
"You shouldn't be getting too close, Pops. You know that," the boy said. The Sage looked up from his book and down at his son.
Still smiling, Naruto let out a small sigh, "We've been over this Zetsu. I can't leave 'em to fend for themselves," he said, "not as they are now, at least, ya know?"
Zetsu stared at his father, his eyes not giving away any clue about his thoughts.
"And ya can't really trust their parents as they are right now. If they're not out of the picture, they seem intent on separating those kids from each other," Naruto grumbled. He was still visibly annoyed from their meeting with that impolite Hunting 'goddess,' Arte-whatever her name was.
Ohohohoooo… that girl was lucky he wanted to avoid attention, or else he'd have tanned her hide in front of her entire group of girl scouts.
Parents back in Oraeguk used his public spankings as a threat to get their kids to behave, and it worked quite well because everyone knew the Sage was bold enough to make it a reality.
Fatherly Discipline (TM) was a necessity for the world to go round.
But yeah… that goddess's invite didn't sit well with him, even if Annabeth and Thalia could potentially benefit from it.
Where would that leave Luke?
The kid was already in a bad place, and he did not need to add abandonment to his list of issues, or worse, have another Sasuke situation on his hands.
He'd already dealt with that brand of avenger-edge-lord nonsense one too many times in the past.
"I've noticed you've mostly focused on strengthening their legs and backs. Having them carry each other or do crab walks and all that jazz," the younger Uzumaki drawled.
"Yup," the man popped the 'p'.
"They already have a good foundation, no? You didn't have Musashi or Maui do this back in the day… Heck, even Quatzi pretty much ignored that advice…" Zetsu said.
"Don't compare ramen to udon boyo," the man replied and at his son's stare, he scratched his cheek with a chuckle, "I'm helping these kids survive first and foremost," he then pointed a finger at his son.
"You and your siblings and some of the other disciples didn't have that issue for one simple reason: you had power from the beginning," he then started counting off, "You had your innate abilities, Amaterasu and Quatzi had their spiritual physiology, Maui had superhuman strength…"
Zetsu noticed there was one name left, "and Musashi? He was mortal."
The Sage barked a laugh, eyes shining with mirth, "Hah! Ain't that obvious, Zetsu?"
"..." The boy stared back, his signature scowl applied firmly on his disguised face.
Naruto chuckled again as his eyes looked into the forest, seemingly lost in memories.
"Stubbornness," the man stated as if that answered everything, giggling a bit, "a complete lack of self-preservation instincts! Heh! It was like looking at my old self!"
His son crossed his arms.
"Can you see any of these kids pulling the shit that brat pulled at their age?" Naruto's eyes twinkled in mirth.
Zetsu narrowed his eyes, "That's not-"
"Yoshioka," the younger Uzumaki shut his mouth at the mention of that name.
Oh. Zetsu certainly remembered that event. A man standing in a field peppered with fallen warriors and soaked in blood. That had been the sight they'd witnessed all those centuries ago when their paths crossed with seventeen-year-old Musashi Miyamoto, a rice farmer who'd only recently taken up the sword to protect and feed his family through competitions.
Unfortunately for him, one of the opponents he had defeated had been the son of a local Kendo schoolmaster. The Yoshioka School of Kendo prided itself on forming some of the best Samurai in the region to serve the local Lords. The son in question, in an attempt to mend his wounded pride, pretty much sent the entire school on a man-hunt for Musashi and his family's heads.
Few expected the amateur swordsman to meet his pursuers head-on.
None had even imagined the possibility of that same amateur coming out on top against seventy opponents.
It was so incredulous at the time that Naruto had to meet him. It was one of the reasons his father had taken Musashi under his wing. He'd called the boy a Tiger cub and claimed he could help him sharpen his claws for the future.
"Mmmh…" Zetsu let out a response.
He could understand wanting to take things slow sometimes. Pops did the same back in the Sage Realm for his more delicate students aaaaaand he now understood what his father meant.
The Body was a Temple.
Uncle Gyuki's Military Academy built its foundations, Uncle Son's Military Dojo added the walls, and the future soldiers continued building the metaphorical floors throughout the rest of their lives.
Adapting that logic to the demigods should work out fine.
"Moving on from that," Naruto waved a hand, changing the subject, "how's that little prank of yours coming along?"
The younger Uzumaki looked back at his father, briefly surprised, then sighed, "You knew…"
"Of course I did!" Zetsu could feel his father's smugness as the man pointed both thumbs at himself and puffed his chest, "Prank King, remember? Bahahaha!"
Zetsu resorted to his default response and groaned.
The Uzumaki racked his brain to answer his father. The truth was, it hadn't been going… splendid.
Athena and that other 'goddess' have been sniffing a bit too close for comfort lately, and there was only so much Ze-Two could do without blowing his cover.
Nevertheless, he trusted his clone to make the right decision.
If he didn't… well… the biological failsafe implanted in his copy's body existed for a reason.
As he opened his mouth to answer his father, they both heard a loud thud and something cracking.
"OW!" Luke's pubescent voice cried out from the distance.
Naruto pursed his lips, "What did those two do now?"
"Waaaaaw twinkle toes, you got two left feet too?" Thalia's mocking voice and laughter followed the first cry.
"Stop it Thalia! Luke, are you okay?" In contrast to the older girl, Annabeth was clearly more worried about whatever happened.
Naruto and Zetsu looked at each other, shrugged, and jogged to the trio's location.
Soon, it was clear what happened.
"Seriously, are you good, dude?" Thalia poked her friend.
"Yeah, yeah, Thals. Everything's peachy," Luke slapped his friend's hand away and turned to see the two Uzumakis approaching the scene.
Looking at his feet, he saw a very realistic and very expensive-looking statue of an adult man, broken to pieces by their careless roughhousing.
Sweat started to gather on his brow, as his eyes rose and met the elder Uzumaki's amused gaze.
"Here's a piece of rock-solid advice, my boy…" the man winked, while the two teenagers cringed, "Granite that you're eager to train, but why not start with something a little less… earthly"
"Please stop," Thalia whined while her blond companion blushed in embarrassment and looked at his feet awkwardly.
"Sorry Mr. Naruto, guess I wasn't watching my step," the boy shuffled a bit, "but err… is it gonna be alright?" he looked at the broken statue, "Do we just… leave it?"
Naruto raised a brow at the boy.
"Don't take it out too badly on him Mister Whiskers; it was my fault too," Thalia rubbed the back of her neck.
Annabeth tried to fit the pieces back together with little success.
The Uzumaki pretended to think about it.
"Mmmm… weeeeell, that does look like quite the gneiss piece of art…a few thousand bucks maybe?" Despite the man's teasing tone, Luke's face gradually lost its colors, "This is gonna be tough to explain to the police…"
Thalia started sweating.
"... or the FBI…"
Luke swallowed a lump in his throat.
"... or the American Alliance of Museums."
Annabeth looked up, face twisted in horror.
"You'd tell on us Mister Naruto?" the girl pouted up at him, her eyes wide and glistening.
Naruto met her gaze with his own, unflinching. He'd been in thousands of battles, built and destroyed civilizations, he would not yield to-
Annabeth's lower lip quivered.
'Ack! Right in the paternal instincts!' the blond fell back, defenseless against the adorable assault, while Zetsu took a step aside and made no effort to catch him.
The younger Uzumaki approached the statue and bent down to inspect it closely.
His eyes narrowed as he put his palm on it and sent a weak burst of chakra, a way for him to scan anything unusual with the stone.
His eyes widened in understanding before turning sharply as his father got up.
"Alright, enough silliness. Let's get that thing up and apologize to the owner," Naruto approached the statue, but when the man tried to reach for it, he was stopped by his son's hand on his chest.
"Eh? Zetsu? What is it?" the Sage blinked at his boy's firm hold on him.
"We should go. From all the moss growing on it, this thing is clearly abandoned here," the younger Uzumaki looked up at his father and pushed back at him with considerable force.
Which only served to make the man more suspicious of him.
"Alright, step aside Zetsu, Imma see if we can glue it back together or somethin'," Naruto continued advancing, unheeded by his son's protests.
"Pops, wait, damnit—WAIT!" the boy cried out and pushed his father more forcefully than necessary, making him stumble back.
The kids looked at each other with their fists in their mouths.
"Oooooooooh!"
Naruto looked back at his son, feeling an instinctive anger from the boy's action, before it was replaced by confusion as Zetsu stared back at him, not budging.
He shelved the desire to give his son a piece of his mind -and maybe some good ol' Fatherly Discipline(TM)- for later, and decided to try and see what the boy was hiding, "Zetsu what's going on?"
"Nothing," the younger Uzumaki grunted, "I just think it's not worth losing daylight over this. I'll put it near the road and leave a note if you want," he explained.
Naruto recognized his son's blatant attempts at deflection.
"Yeaaaah, nah boyo, you're going to fess up right now," the older Uzumaki narrowed his eyes and waved his hand.
Zetsu looked back down at the statue and sighed, "Alright look-"
"Oh? I thought I heard someone," a melodious voice interrupted the Uzumaki as everyone turned to see the intruder.
A woman dressed in a white gown walked towards them. Her mid-heels clacked on the road as she walked with the grace of a cat.
It made the Sage think of his older sister.
'She'd fit right in with Mata-chan's girls.'
Her most distinct piece was a bowler hat with a white veil that covered the top half of her face yet brought attention to her glossy, ruby lips.
The lady approached them carefully and seemed to take their appearances. Despite her fetching looks, the Sage's attention was caught by something else, particularly when her gaze swept over the youngest among them.
'She's a cursed human… and that's a looooot of anger at lil' Annie,' Naruto thought.
A hesitant smile formed on his face, as he fought the urge to scowl at the woman. Who did she think she was, glaring at little girls? And his charge at that?
Wait.
Naruto looked back at the statue, back at his son, and back at the woman.
His suspicions rose, but still, he put his act up and widened his smile.
"Apologies for that miss—we knocked that statue down by accident," the blond said. He bent down and, despite his son's earlier protests, grabbed one of the fragments.
Maybe he could patch it up with some Earth release and-
'Hold the hell up,' Naruto almost recoiled in surprise.
'This ain't a statue!' The man's eyes unknowingly shifted to a golden amber before narrowing in anger. The natural energy he could feel within the stone clued him into its true essence.
A petrified human corpse.
It was a close frequency to Senjutsu chakra. Not there, but close, or else the poor guy would've first turned into an animal before getting put in a mineral coffin.
His anger boiled over before morphing into an ice-cold fury.
"When I heard the sound of one of my pieces breaking, I thought for sure another bear had gotten on the property, but thank goodness it wasn't the case," the woman said, her tone innocent and gentle, ignorant of the way the blond man twitched at her words.
Despite his outwardly calm appearance, Naruto's smile strained, and the veins on his forehead became slightly visible.
'One of your pieces, huh…'
Zetsu seemed to be the only one aware of his father's mounting emotions as he warily looked between him and the woman.
The demigods just looked at the newest arrival in suspicion, evidently finding it hard to trust a stranger.
Just as the tension in the air became uncomfortable, Naruto suddenly grinned disarmingly at the woman, all traces of anger gone from his features.
"I apologize for my clumsiness ma'am," the blond bowed toward the woman, surprising Luke as he took the blame for his mistake, "I'll make sure to reimburse you for this."
The woman looked at them from behind her veil with a small, if unnerving, smile plastered on her face, and nodded to the man.
"Oh, that old thing? There's no need for that," the woman waved her arm nonchalantly.
'Maybe I'll bury you next to it,' Naruto almost lashed out at the dismissive way she talked about her victim but hid his rage behind a plastic smile.
"Then I thank you kindly for your grace, ma'am. At the very least, we can pick up the pieces for you and get on our way. I wouldn't want to leave you to clean up the mess by yourself."
The lady raised a hand to her chest and looked flattered at the gesture. Then she pointed to her home at the side, "Oh, do not worry about some silly mistake. I'd much rather you join me for some supper. I rarely get visitors around these parts," she said with a hospitable tone.
Luke and Thalia's stomachs traitorously growled, making the two blush in embarrassment. Meanwhile, Annabeth walked up to Naruto with a worried expression and tugged on his shirt.
"Huh? Oh Annie," he patted the girl's head. "It's coal don't worry," he winked at her in an attempt to push his positive facade, "You guys go on ahead. I got something to do," he called out to the rest before looking at Zetsu.
His boy didn't need to be told what to do. He'll protect the kids against anything.
The veiled lady smiled and gestured for them to follow her. She passed through a large metallic gate with a large sign at the top that read "Auntie Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."
As everyone left him alone outside, Naruto extended his senses again to get a deeper feel of the woman's darker emotions. Like peeling an onion, the Sage looked through the many layers of anger, hatred, pettiness, hunger, and self-loathing until he found what he was looking for.
There, under all the negativity, lay a small dwindling flame of guilt.
Maybe that lady looked back sadly at whatever crimes she committed or felt she didn't do enough. Either way, a part of him compelled him to fan that little flame and bring it to the surface.
Only then would he cast a final judgment.
The Sage waited a few moments until he was sure no eyes were on him before he slapped the ground next to him. The broken stone statue shifted and sank into the ground, suddenly gaining a muddy texture while a small stone rose from the edge.
The man knelt before it, reached behind one ear, and took out a loop of red prayer beads he'd somehow hidden there.
'It's not much, but it's the least I could do,' he thought in sympathy, his fingers gliding over each bead as he recited several prayers. Hopefully, whoever the poor soul was would eventually reach the Shinigami and know eternal rest.
He glanced down at the beads in his hand. Their glossy red color reflected the sunlight like a precious stone. Some of the beads had Chinese characters inscribed into them in solid gold.
Prudence, Fortitude, Temperance, Restraint, Justice
The man kept staring at the beads and caressed them tenderly. He lifted the loop and brushed his lips on the red orbs, then brought it to touch his forehead.
'Please accept this poor child into your embrace.'
After a couple of minutes, the blond finally got up and looked around. He hadn't noticed it before, but several other statues peppered the surrounding clearing. Some seemed to be gripping the trees around the house.
One thing was common: their faces were twisted into expressions of fear and horror.
Now that he thought about it, he remembered hearing about some monster in Greek myths that could turn people to stone.
Mimosa or something along those lines…
Nevertheless, Naruto took a deep breath.
'Prudence, Fortitude, Temperance , Restraint, Justice,' he repeated to himself.
"Don't worry guys, I'll be back for you, just gotta scold somebody first," he spoke to the other petrified victims.
No one deserved to have their remains treated this way.
For her soul's sake, he hoped the woman could convince him to spare her.
Killing never sat well with him, even after hundreds of lifetimes doing it.
'Oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck-'
Zetsu didn't need to be an empath to know his father was close to blowing up. The man had lived long enough to love and hate a lot of things, but if there was one thing the older Uzumaki abhorred, it was any disrespect shown towards the sanctity of life and death.
Their luck hadn't been good for a while now.
From meeting Olympus' bloodhound of a 'goddess' to dealing with another complex infiltration mission, and now?
Information gathering was Zetsu's bread and butter, so of course the Uzumaki would be more than familiar with Greek monsters.
They just had to encounter Medusa. The one monster whose actions, powers, and background would be able to simultaneously press every single one of his father's buttons.
Because if there was one way to get on his Pops' shit list, turning someone to stone and displaying their remains like an art piece was among the top choices.
Medusa would be lucky if the Sage didn't personally feed her soul to the Shinigami.
He'd be lucky if the resulting outburst wouldn't blow their cover.
The group entered the Emporium, leaving Naruto behind them as they entered a large dining room.
"Please have a seat, children. I'll whip up something filling for you," the woman again gave that plastic smile and exited the room into what Zetsu assumed was the kitchen.
"I can't believe our luck!" Thalia exclaimed in excitement, though careful not to raise her voice.
'Can't believe it either,' Zetsu groused.
"I wonder what the nice lady'll make. I hope it's a burger! Haven't had one in a while," the raven-haired demigoddess was almost drooling at the thought.
'Or a barbecue…' the Uzumaki's stomach growled at the thought of a few (hundred) pounds of juicy, sizzling meat.
He really needed to get his giant grill back from Quatzi. His sister has held his beloved Yakiniku Sizzler 5000 Deluxe(TM) hostage for long enough.
'BuT i nEeD mEy PrOtEiN ZeE-hErMaNo. Wah wah wah' Zetsu mockingly imitated his younger sibling.
Soon. He'll be reunited with his one true love.
But he'll bide his time for now and accept any (subpar) meat this place has to offer.
"I'm just glad she didn't report us," Luke sighed in relief. He'd been sweating bullets since his little accident.
"This is weird," Annabeth said, "I don't like this."
Evidently, the youngest in the group had better survival instincts than the other two demigods.
He'll give the little motor-mouth credit where it was due. She might constantly annoy Zetsu with her incessant questions, but at least she's likely to live longer than the other two.
Then again, being stubborn didn't necessarily cut your lifespan short. His father was a shining example of that.
'Boss Ze-One! I got err… a status report…' a voice echoed in Zetsu's head.
Something about the hesitance in his clone's voice filled the Uzumaki with dread.
'What is it Ze-Two?' the original sighed inwardly.
The clone went silent, and just as Zetsu was about to ask again, a cacophony of different whispers assaulted the Uzumaki's head.
'You tell him Ze-Ten!'
'The hell do you mean dumbass? You're my junior! You should do it!'
'I am not getting blown up! I just got here! And who're you calling dumbass? UGLY!'
'Ugly? We got the same face, jackass!'
'You-'
'Shut-'
The Original Zetsu held his head in his hands as it was assaulted by a migraine. His newer clones -a nice development, to be sure- always turned out less… mature… at first and were a pain to deal with for the first few days or weeks.
'SHUT UP ALL OF YOU BEFORE I TRIGGER THE FAILSAFE!' the original roared into the telepathic link, effectively silencing the bickering.
'...'
'Well?' the original asked, his tone impatient.
'So err…' one of the clones said, 'the good news is we've made HUGE progress and were able to create a bigger reconnaissance force. Enough to cover the mountain.'
Zetsu narrowed his eyes, 'and the bad news?'
'We uhh…' the clone stammered, 'we kinda almost blew our cover… almost.'
The original snarled, 'of all the- HOW? ZE-TWO, YOU HAD ONE JOB!'
Ze-Two interjected, 'Ze-One I know it looks bad alright? But it's okay! We got lucky!'
Zetsu slammed his head on the table, startling the demigods.
'Whyyyyyyyyyy?'
A/N: I'm thinking of adding a fun extra part in the Reading. Q and A!
Ask some lore questions in the reviews/comments and I'll pick some to have Zetsu answer them in the next chapter.
You can support me on my Ko-Fi or ask for commissions there. Details can be discussed in private.
Also, here's a much-anticipated scene!
Extra Scene: Mission Failed Successfully
Demeter pleasantly hummed as she walked back to her temple. Her latest outing with her daughter had left her remarkably refreshed, and while it would certainly hurt when Persephone went back to her bastard of a brother, no offense to Ma-Rhea bless her heart, in a few weeks, she would cherish all the time she had left with her child.
Speaking of kids, she wondered how her mortal ones were faring.
She was pleased to see most of her little boys and girls had made it to Camp safely. The only one left was young Katie, who was still in school and weak enough that her scent didn't attract any big monsters.
Hmmm… maybe she should ask Chiron to send a satyr her way… just in case.
She'd have to be discreet about it of course. Can't have Zeus nagging to her about interfering (again) in the lives of her kids or 'ignoring her duty'.
As if Mr. Along Came himself had any room to talk!
Ugghhh…
Hopefully, Hera could distract him enough.
"Hmm?" She came upon her Temple's entrance and noticed something was off. Her servants were all gathered outside the door and currently speaking to some of Olympus' golden guards.
"What is going on here?" her voice cut through the tension like butter. Her servants froze as they scrambled to look more presentable to her. Only now did she notice that a few of them were unconscious, being held up by others.
"A-ah Lady Demeter," one of the young immortals in her employ, some plain-faced karpoi whose name escaped her, stuttered, "w-we were just working-"
"What happened?"
Everyone remained silent, and she could practically smell the nervousness wafting off of them.
"I said what happened?" Her second question was a veiled threat, daring anyone to stay silent.
Again, the servants stuttered, but this time, they all attempted to speak at once, stringing together a series of words that crashed into one another and resulted in gibberish.
Finally fed up with this display, the deity raised a hand and telekinetically pushed the group to the side to make a path for her. She grumbled in annoyance as she marched up the steps to her abode and entered, only to, once again, sense something off.
Her steps became more frantic as she ran towards the place dearest to her heart. She practically tore off the doors to her garden and stepped outside, only to stop in shock.
Her eyes widened as she beheld a scene she could only describe as a carnage.
Her precious legumes! Torn-apart!
Her beautiful fruits! Plucked and sucked dry!
Her gorgeous flowers! Turned to matchsticks!
'No no no nonononono!' her eyes became frantic, scouring her garden for any traces of surviving flora.
She ran around like a headless chicken, her eyes scanning the ground around her. Such was her shock and panic that she forgot she could simply sense the plants around her.
When she did remember though, her mind's eye scoured the entirety of Olympus for any trace of her potager's remains.
Nothing… except for one place.
Demeter turned and power walked toward the only piece of land left untouched: The 'Punishment Section'
"Of all the things to leave alone-!" the goddess growled and marched over to one of the ferns.
With a wordless spell, the bush turned back into a very scared, and very naked human.
"L-l-l-l-lady Demeter! What-" The mortal was cut off as a pair of hands, whose nails felt like talons, dug into his shoulders.
"What happened to my babies?" the mortal recoiled at the, frankly, insane look in the Olympian's eyes and struggled to respond. When she didn't receive an answer, Demeter picked up the mortal man by the shoulders and shook him violently.
"I SAID. WHAT. HAPPENED. TO MY. BABIES!"
Again, no answer came out, but rather than nervousness, the man had passed out in Demeter's arms.
"Useless!" the goddess screamed in frustration, turning the man back into a fern.
Before she could repeat the process with another poor sod, one of the other servants, a minor goddess came to rescue her colleagues and courageously stood in the angry Olympian's way.
The blonde goddess didn't seem to notice the newest arrival and only reacted when the latter screamed at her in panic.
"My lady! My lady, please! I can explain!" The minor goddess shivered at the look Demeter threw her, gulped, and before the Olympian could rebuke her for her insolence, she spoke her testimony.
She explained everything.
How a big, black, shadowy monster came out of nowhere and started attacking them.
How some servants fainted on the spot from terror.
How they had to choose between their lives and their duties and regretfully chose the former.
All manners of excuses and pleas came out of the minor goddess's mouth.
But to Demeter, it might as well have been white noise after the word 'shadowy'.
Only one person had the motive, the means, and the gall to pull this off.
Truly… this could only be the work of-
"HAAAADEEEEEEEES!" Demeter's shriek of rage shook the skies of Olympus.