Chapter 37: Tender age
"Pain takes many forms. A twinge, a little pain, one that goes back and forth. We have normal pain every day. But there's that pain we can't ignore. A pain so great that it blocks everything else. That makes the rest of the world disappear."
- Grey's Anatomy
Pain, they say nothing in the world hurts more than being burned alive or giving birth to a child, but the physical pain of hearing that your child has died is excruciating and hearing a mother's scream and cry is one of the worst things to ever experience. to witness. It was horrible.
Erin was heartbroken, but she needed to save her daughter. She screamed and begged Sylvie to save her. She needed to survive.
The news spread very quickly, both to the police, paramedics and firefighters, civilians called as soon as they saw the scenes.
Truddy heard about a kidnapping, but had no names. Not until she heard they were looking for Kim and Adam. She came out from behind the counter and ran up the stairs as quickly as she could.
- Makayla's nanny was found unconscious at the door of the building. There's a kidnapping going on, but we don't have any more news. - she hadn't even finished the sentence when not only Burgess and Ruzek stood up but the entire team simply moved.
They got into their cars knowing only that the babysitter was attacked and a child was being threatened.
- Kidnapper with child fell into the lake. - they hear the alert from police officers who had arrived at the scene. Burgess's heart stops for a moment.
As soon as they arrive in front of their apartment, everyone gets out of the car running in despair.
- What happened? - Ruzek asks desperately.
- I don't know, I arrived to drop off the girl and found her like that. - the driver informs and Burgess sees his daughter at the bus door.
The ambulance passes right by them and when they see a second one, Dante and Kevin get in front.
Burgess and Ruzek hug their daughter in relief, she was okay, she was safe.
- Are you okay, my love? - Kim asks, pulling to assess her daughter's body.
- Yes mom. - she responds and Kim kisses and hugs her in relief. She was so
Working as police officers, firefighters and doctors was not easy, it was not easy to see an adult dead. It wasn't easy to see a dead child, much less your own child or the child of your friends.
The baby blue jacket she picked out earlier was open, open so Jay could give her cardiac massage and its bulk got in the way of first aid, so it was forgotten on the floor when Brett took it from her and placed her on the gurney returning with the massage. cardiac. Hearing that her daughter doesn't have a pulse was the worst nightmare a parent could have.
- How long has she been in the water? - Mikami asks as Brett continues compressions.
They didn't know, they had no idea of time, they had no idea of anything. It was difficult to reason anything when you not only see your daughter being kidnapped, but also see her being threatened with a knife to her neck. And that's when time stopped, time stopped when she fell. When they saw that their daughter was unconscious.
- Not a lot. It was very fast, but not very fast. - Jay replied stuttering, he didn't know the time, he didn't know how long a drowning victim survives, but it hadn't been long since he pulled her out of the water. It needed to have been enough. -She was unconscious when she fell. - he remembers, not sure if this information was relevant.
Brett climbed onto the stretcher. She wasn't giving up on the child.
- Come on my love, you need to wake up. You need to open your eyes to me. - Erin could barely speak, but she hoped her daughter would hear. She was oblivious to everything around her. She couldn't handle losing her daughter. She couldn't be without her daughter. - You need to breathe.
A blanket was placed around Jay's body. He was shivering from the cold and didn't even realize it.
- It must have been enough. It must have been enough. - he says in a whisper. He needed to have gotten Charlotte out of there in time. He needed to have started first aid in time. She needed to live.
The firefighters were worried about Jay and Erin, they were both in shock, they weren't even aware of their surroundings.
- You can't take her away from me. Not her, please. - She spoke softly, but cried loudly. Her fear of losing him created a devastating tightness in her chest.
- We have a pulse. - Violet screams.
At that moment Jay and Erin could feel the air returning to their lungs.
It was Adam who understood that something didn't add up, the nanny was unconscious, but their daughter was fine. She had something wrong there.
- Where were you going? What do you have? - he gets up and asks one of the paramedics who was attending to the nanny.
- We received a kidnapping call and on the way three people fell into the lake, all we have is a child and two adults, but we already have a third ambulance coming.
- It's Charlotte. - Kim says and gets up. - Charlotte. She is not here.
- Guys, Erin's car is further down, they are at the lake.
At the same moment, everyone runs to the lake, not even getting very far with the scene. The paramedics, Erin and Jay were walking to the ambulance.
The four-year-old was transferred to the ambulance. A weak pulse, but she still had it. She was hooked up to life support while Jay and Erin were allowed to go with their daughter, he needed medical attention and they weren't going to make them choose who went and who stayed.
The unstable beeping of the heart monitor caught everyone's attention.
- Fibrillation... - Brett shouts. - Loading 200. Move away... - she tells them as they take their hands off her daughter.
The agony and despair that their daughter might not survive. She was so tiny on that stretcher. Her skin was blue, pale and lifeless. That wasn't fair, it wasn't fair because she was only 4 years old.
The cold and his frozen clothes began to affect him. He needed to run away and hide before he was arrested. Everything went according to plan when he killed Bunny. She was a mistake in his plan, he should have gone it alone. He shouldn't have gone after her, he shouldn't have killed her, much less acted on impulse.
His feet left their marks on the floor, it was a matter of time before he was found. So he needed to run, he needed to escape.
As he ran, his body became weaker and weaker. The low temperature, wet body and freezing clothes lowered his body temperature more and more. He was hypothermic and weak. He was only standing because he didn't want to be arrested, it didn't help, his body couldn't take it anymore and he fell into the snow.
- Asystole - Brett drops everything and goes back to giving the child cardiac massage. - Bradycardia... - Brett says when he hears the monitor beeping again. - It worked out. She's back. - Brett can finally breathe and smile when he sees the child's heartbeat. She was still at risk, but at least she had a stable heartbeat.
Brett takes off the rest of the child's clothes and puts a thermal blanket over him.
- Temperature at 91°F. - Brett says. - She could wake up at any moment. - she says to both of them.
- Thanks. - Erin manages to say and then Brett looks at Jay.
He's turning blue, his body was turning like Charlotte's. They neglected him, not because they wanted to, they had a second ambulance, but he refused and almost fought to be with Charlotte and the fact that he was walking and talking made them think they had time, but time was running out.
- Jay... hey look at me. - Brett asks and is relieved when the ambulance stops. A medical team was requested for both Charlotte and Jay.
- He's hypothermic. - she says as soon as the door is opened and Jay is guided out. It seemed like he only needed to see his daughter alive to completely lose consciousness.
- Jay... - Erin screams. It felt like life was playing with her as usual.
- He'll be fine, we just need to restore his body temperature. You can go with him, we'll take Charlotte right behind. -Brett says and Erin gets out, not even noticing that she just got blood on the ambulance's upholstery.
Brett also doesn't see when he pulls the child's stretcher out and they get out of the ambulance and walk into the hospital.
Will appears to see his brother on a stretcher, followed by Charlotte.
- What the hell happened here? - he shouts looking for answers.
- Man, 36 years old. Hypothermic. He lost consciousness on the way. -some doctor shouts the information he received while running to the room. Erin close behind, not even noticing Will.
- Child, 4 years old. Drowning. We don't know how long, she was resuscitated at the scene and had another stop in the ambulance. Heartbeat stable at the moment. Hypothermic, current temperature 91.5°F, still unconscious.
There were cases that affected police officers, mainly, cases where it was too late for them to be able to do their jobs and they had to carry the weight on their backs and take it home, but there was something in cases that affected someone at work who did it. be even heavier. They were a family, the medical team had their bubble, the firefighters and police officers too, but these in particular were a big family and when everyone was involved and there to see it, it seemed even worse.
Police and firefighters heard that a friend's daughter was dead, without a pulse. Seeing the parents there, devastated, in a state of shock, was very heavy to see. It hurt her to look at the ground and see a tiny blue cold coat in the snow, her little snow boots lying there as the paramedics took her to the hospital and tried to save her life.
The civilians who were in the waiting room for some reason were scared by the number of police officers and firefighters who began to fill the room.
The previously empty benches were slowly being filled, not having room for everyone and they were spreading around the room as they waited for news.
The older Halstead was desperate and lost seeing his family devastated, he saw Erin, she was the best source for him to get an answer to what was happening, but due to her state, she was in no condition to respond. Then he ran towards Brett and Mikami.
- What happened?
- Charlotte was kidnapped, she and the kidnapper fell into the lake and Jay jumped in to save her.
Will runs into the room where his brother was taken, running his hand through his hair.
- How is he? What's the temperature?
- He's fine, he just fainted, he's hypothermic, but his temperature is rising, his lungs are clear. - the doctor responsible for Jay responds.
Will breathes a sigh of relief and walks over to Erin.
- How are you? - he touches it and notices that it is cold, but dry.
- I'm fine... - She moves away from him and goes to Jay.
She caresses him and kisses his cheek.
- Wake up... I need you, we need you. - she whispers. He was still cold and that feeling was horrible.
- I'm not going anywhere. - he whispers in his groggy and weak voice. - How is she? -His only concern was his daughter.
- She went up, Brett said...
- She's hospitalized... - Brett interrupts them. - She's fine, but we're going to monitor her neurocerebral activity. Her temperature is currently 92ºF, still hyporthemic, but increasing, that's good, we need 93ºF for her to come out of hypothermia and we are confident and are waiting for her to wake up.
- Can we see her?
- Yes, you can go up and stay with her if you want. - Sylvie answers her and looks at Jay. - Not you yet, you need to recover.
- I'm fine and I guarantee I'll get better when I can see my daughter. - Jay responds by getting up.
- Jay...
- Don't try to stop me, Will.
- We can let you go, but you at least have to be at 96.8ºF.
- Go up... stay with her. I'll follow right behind. - he says and Erin nods.
- I love you... - she puts their foreheads together. - I love you so much. - She kisses his lips and walks away.
Everyone outside received little information. Just that Charlotte and Jay were unconscious and that made them worried. Sarah had also been rescued and was awake. She was taken to have a head CT scan and her family had already been informed.
- Someone needs to tell Voight. - Kevin says.
- I notice. - Burgess says and stands up. They took the girl with them to the hospital, it wasn't ideal but they were worried about Jay and Charlotte and they didn't want to take their eyes off her.
It didn't take long for Voight to appear at the hospital desperate and worried about his family.
- Where are they?
- They are being treated, but we have no news.
Angry Hank walks up to the front desk, frustrated, angry and wanting answers and he hasn't received anything different than the others.
As he entered the waiting room, Bryan had just checked into the emergency room.
- White man, age unknown, name unknown, hypothermic, alleged kidnapper...
The moment Jay hears these words, Jay jumps up from his bed, he was only in his underwear, but it was his last concern when he saw the person responsible for his daughter passing by.
- Jay... - Will goes after, but doesn't get there in time before he notices Jay turning the man's stretcher over and knocking him to the ground.
- You bastard, I'm going to kill you. - he climbs on top of the unconscious man and still hits him, he only managed one punch when his brother and two other doctors hold him down and take him off the motionless body.
- Jay...
- Let me go, I'm going to kill him.
Erin couldn't hold back the tears when her daughter opened her green eyes, oblivious to everything that was happening.
-Oh my God, baby...-she cries, her hand caressing her girl's cold and pale, but still angelic face. - Thanks God. Thank you for giving it back to me. Thank you for coming back to me my love, to daddy. -she says kissing her daughter and smelling her while she trembles and tears drip onto her face. - I love you so much, daughter, so much, more so.
Her daughter's pediatrician watches the scene in silence, but with a smile on her face, it was always so good to see her patients surviving.
- My fiancé, he's in the emergency room, can someone tell him that our daughter has woken up?
The doctor nods and asks the nurse to notify her.
- Listen, if you don't calm down, they might arrest you.
- I want to see who has the courage. - Jay speaks loudly and threateningly to some of the police officers.
-Jay Halstead? - a nurse enters, stopping for a moment and observing the half-naked man. She takes a deep breath and looks away.
- It's me... - he replies irritated.
- Hm... your wife asked to let you know that your daughter woke up. -the woman says a little scared, but she turns her gaze to Jay, unable to help but admire his beauty.
- I need some clothes. I'm rising. With how angry I am I'm sure I might even have a fever it's so hot. -Will wasn't going to disagree, Jay was so angry that he managed to knock the man off the stretcher and punch him, he probably would have done more if he hadn't been pushed away and if Bryan had been awake, the probability of Jay leaving him unconscious was high.
Will gives Jay his clothes, he changed them when he arrived and when he left the hospital, but this time he would leave with his own ambo.
- Look princess who's here, it's daddy. - Lindsay says seeing Jay walking towards them. -she tells him how strong you are and how you are improving. - she says, not even bothering to hold back the tears.
- My princess... - Jay approaches his little girl, she looked so tiny lying there. He leans over and kisses his daughter's forehead not even caring that she was crying. - I was so afraid of losing you, princess. - his sobs become audible and Erin can't contain herself either, today she almost lost the two most important people in her life. - How I love you daughter. Thanks for getting back to us. -he says whispering, not even caring that he was being fragile in front of them.
The three of them hugged each other in silence, just absorbing that moment, that miracle, they just didn't stay anymore because Charlotte started vomiting water.
- Charlotte...
Erin, who realizes that they are alone, quickly presses the emergency button asking for help and it doesn't take long for them to arrive.
- She suddenly started vomiting. - Erin says as the doctor and nurse enter and ask them both to step aside.
- That's good, she's expelling the water. We need to do some tests on your daughter. - the woman says, lifting Charlotte so she doesn't choke.
- Is she going to be okay? - Jay asks scared.
- We can't guarantee anything before the exams, some problems we only noticed after a few hours, but it seems like she's fine. The temperature is good, the oxygen in her blood is good, she is awake and vomiting is a great sign. Now we can take her for some tests, we need to do a chest x-ray and I want to do a CT scan, if that's okay with you. I know she's already awake, but she's still a little quiet and we just want to make sure everything is okay.
- Do whatever is necessary. - Erin responds.
- Can we go with her? - Jay asks, not wanting to take his eyes off her.
- Unfortunately not, but you can stay here and we will keep you updated.
As they watch their daughter being taken away, Jay turns to Erin.
- She's going to be fine, she...
- I know you do. Thanks to you. - Erin was more sentimental, but no one could blame her. She was going to continue, to thank Jay, but Mikami and Brett enter the room.
- Everything is fine? Did something happen? - Jay asks the girls.
- We hope not, but we need to confirm.
- What it was? - Erin turns around worried.
- Are you well? Have you been injured at any point? - Mikami asks Erin directly.
- No, I'm fine, why?
- Are you menstruating? - Brett asks.
- I was cleaning the ambulance and I found blood and we thought it could just be menstruation, but Erin, I don't want to rule out the possibility of miscarriage, do you know if you are pregnant? - it was silly, Mikami knew, there was little blood and it could even be shameful if it was just menstruation, but there everyone was an adult to be mature, which was something common that happened to all women, so it would even be preferable for her to be menstruating, because for Mikami, today's trauma could definitely cause a miscarriage and even though it was an argument between her and Brett before they went upstairs, neither wanted to have to break this news, both hoping it was menstruation instead of the probability that she just had almost losing his daughter, he may have lost the other.
- I'm pregnant... - she says in a heavy voice, her thoughts have completely forgotten about the pregnancy and everyone's hearts sink with the possibility of the reality that is about to reach them. - Next week I'll be 8 weeks old. I had an appointment scheduled for today. - she says, already losing oxygen.
- Erin, we need to examine you now. - Brett says and approaches her.
- This can not be happening. - the tears flow as soon as she looks down, her pants were stained, flashbacks of that night come to the surface, she remembers that night, her stained white sheets, the cramps and now she realizes that she also felt that pain, she felt it that pain when she heard that her daughter didn't have a pulse and when she thinks that at that moment she heard that she had lost a son, her eyes roll and she faints realizing that at that moment she was losing her two children.
- Erin... - Jay holds her when he sees her losing consciousness. - Erin. - Jay picks her up and doesn't even notice that Mikami runs away screaming asking for a stretcher. Jay lays her down and pats her face a few times. - Babe, wake up.
They assess Erin and find that she just passed out and they take her to another room. It didn't take long for her to wake up, she came face to face with Jay's eyes, his beautiful green eyes, which were bloodshot, teary, she knew he was crying before, but from his expression, she knew nothing was good.
- Tell me it's not true. - she asks now in tears.
- Erin, we need to confirm. - she hears Sylvie's voice.
- I don't want to, I don't want to know, because then I'll confirm what I'm feeling. - She cries. - Why is this happening to me? Why am I going through this again? - she asks no one specific. As your sobs increase.
- Babe, don't think like that, let's confirm. - Jay says holding back his tears this time, he needs to be her support now.
- Erin, we need your authorization. - the rescuer says. She watches Erin nod and feels horrible that it has to be like this. - I need it to be verbal.
-Yes...-a strangled yes comes out of her voice, but she has her eyes closed and crying into Jay's chest.
- Erin, do you have an obstetrician? We can call her and give you privacy.
- I want you, I want you to stay between us for now. - she says knowing that it doesn't matter which of the two, both could do the ultrasound if it was the patient's wishes.
Jay lifts her blouse, while Sylvie opens her jeans, lowering them to where they need to be done.
- It will get a little cold. - she warns. Erin didn't even look in her direction or at the device, she had her eyes closed, her head turned and hidden in Jay's chest, she didn't want to see.
It was almost 2 months, the 7th week, she knew it would be possible to hear the baby's heartbeat on this abdominal ultrasound, that's what her obstetrician said. Today was supposed to be a good day, but when she hears the sounds coming from the monitor and none of them are heartbeats, she knows she was unfortunately right. Brett passes the device over her belly looking at the monitor and Jay sees the two women staring at each other. No one needed to say anything, everyone there already knew.
- I'm very sorry. - Sylvie's words were just confirmation of what she didn't want to hear and what she needed to break down. Her crying was strangled, she cried inconsolably in Jay's arms, her sobs were muffled by his body as she reacted to tragic news. She thought everything would be fine, but she lost her second pregnancy, she was breathing a sigh of relief minutes ago because her daughter was fine and healthy and now her other child had not survived.
Brett cleaned her up and left them alone. It was a horrible day. Today they should be at the hospital, lying in this bed explaining to Charlotte that she would have a brother or a sister, that that noise coming from the monitor was the baby's heartbeat in mommy's belly.
They were in the hospital, but without their two children, the baby's heartbeat would never be heard and their little girl was undergoing tests that would probably leave her scared and they wouldn't even be able to be there for her and with her.
Will discovered that the waiting room was filled with his brother's friends, all waiting for news and knowing that he didn't know when Jay and Erin would leave, he decides to inform them with what he has. He is surprised by how crowded it was and is shocked that as soon as he was noticed everyone got up and approached.
- How are they? - Voight asked before Doctor Halstead could say anything.
- Charlotte woke up. - this leads to a sigh of relief from everyone who heard that she was dead. - They lost her once again in the ambulance, but she is a strong little girl and is now undergoing some tests. Jay got hypothermic, but he's fine now and he joined Erin to spend some time with Charlotte, but they're fine, all three of them are fine. -He says what he knows, they are not completely fine, but as no one knows, everyone breathes a sigh of relief. It could have been a worse tragedy than it already was, with worse results.
Jay held her tight to his chest he would hold her forever if he could and if she needed it, he also had tears in his eyes but still being strong for her. He held her until he felt her calm down.
He pulled away when she was quiet, he wiped her tears away, even though it was useless because they were still flowing and he leaned in and kissed her, it was chaste, it was soft, it was sensitive, it was affectionate and it was a way of taking care of her without having to say it. anything. She didn't want to talk and neither did he.
- Sorry to interrupt, but Charlotte is already heading back to her room.
- We're on our way, thank you. - Jay says and he moves away from Erin, Sylivie had cleaned her belly, but Erin turned around afterwards, making it impossible for her to help put her clothes back in place. He moves away, pulling up her jeans and holding himself when he sees the blood, he then pulls down her blouse and notices how wet and cold some parts are, she neglected them, she was cold, but she was more worried about her daughter and with him who didn't even think about her. - Come on, let's go see Charlotte. - he says, extending his hand to her.
- I can get up Jay, I wasn't the one who died. -His irritated tone leaves you on alert. She sits down and he stops her, entering between her legs.
- I know that. I'm here, okay? I'll stay here and if you want space just ask, but I'm sure you want to see our girl. Let's go. - he says and she holds back crying to go to her daughter.
- Mommy... - Charlotte finally speaks, her voice sly and tearful. And once again she finds herself crying, as she runs to her daughter's side and wraps her in her arms.
Jay approaches, caressing his girls, but remains standing and receives the news.
- She has no trauma, we will keep her under observation tonight and if everything goes well, she will be released tomorrow. You have a warrior here. - the woman passes her hand over the child's feet and smiles at her even though she can't see her, as she is hidden by Erin's hug.
- Thanks. - Jay says and asks if the woman could call Brett. - Did you hear little one? We're going home tomorrow. He finished. -He smiles at the girl and kisses her forehead.
- Daddy... I'm cold. - she complains. - Jay takes a blanket from the side of the bed and puts it over the girl and her mother.
- Mommy is going to warm you up, now rest, okay?
- Jay, did you call me? - Brett asks and watches him nod and caress the two who were lying on the bed and approach the door.
- I want to ask if you can get some clothes for Erin, it's a little wet and dirty... - she knows what he means and understands why he's whispering.
- Of course, don't worry. I will be back in a moment.
- Thanks. - he says and returns to the two, he stays nearby watching them. Charlotte ended up falling asleep, but he knew that even with her eyes closed Erin was awake, it was just her way of saying that she wanted to be quiet and he was okay with that for now.
Jay decides to give her a break and ends up leaving the two of them in the room while he goes after Will.
- Hey man, how are things?
-Charlotte will be fine, she will stay under observation tonight and maybe be discharged tomorrow.
- And why don't you look happy? - the brother asks and Jay grabs him and drags him to the side.
- She lost the baby, due to all the stress of the day. - no one told him that, but he could imagine that was the cause.
- I'm very sorry, you'll get through this together. - he tries to reassure Jay, but he wasn't sure about that. Erin didn't even look him in the face when she stood up and he was afraid she was going to push him away, but he wasn't going to let her.
- Hey Jay, here's the clothes. Listen, I know Erin isn't doing well right now, but we need to let you know what the next steps are. We will need to take her to remove the fetus and I think it would be good for her to talk to a psychologist, today was a very intense day for her and blaming herself is the first option.
- Does it need to be now? he asks, Erin doesn't even seem to want to move right now.
- The faster the better, I'll let you talk to her and whatever you call us. - she responds and touches his arm before excusing herself and leaving.
Jay runs his free hand over his face, but he can't hold back the tears any longer.
- Today we were going to listen to the baby's heartbeat, we were going to explain things to Charlotte and we were going to have dinner with you to tell and celebrate my first day as a sergeant. It was supposed to be a good day Will. It was supposed to be a good day. - he says inconsolably, but Will still tries to pull him into a hug.
- They are strong, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but you will get through this, because you are a family now, you are strong, you have each other, you have me and everyone in the waiting room wishing you well . - Will says looking his brother in the eyes.
- I'll take the clothes to Erin. - he walks away without saying anything else.
He looks at Charlotte, she's still sleeping and he smiles, she's warm now. Jay slides his hand toward his bride and leans in.
- You need to change your clothes and we need to talk. - he isn't surprised when she doesn't respond. - I know you don't want to talk, but you don't need to, you just need to listen, because you still need medical attention.
- I want to be at peace Jay.
- I'll leave you as soon as possible, but now we need to resolve some things. - he waits for a while and even though it hurts that he doesn't respect her wishes, he takes off her blanket and pulls her out. She gets up without even looking him in the face. - Let's go.
- I can change alone. - she says in the same irritated tone as before.
Jay leaves her for a few minutes but she couldn't and he's thankful she didn't lock the door because he comes in as soon as he hears her sobbing. She is sitting on the floor with her hands over her face.
- Hey... it's going to be okay. - he didn't want to say that, because getting well in a while doesn't change the sadness of the day or her pain, but that's all he could say.
- I lost our baby Jay. I almost lost both my children today. I'm so weak that I can't let our son live.
- It's not true, it's not your fault. Today was a very traumatic day, you went through a lot.
- You saved our daughter, but I couldn't do the same, not today and not four years ago, I can't be a mother.
- Do not say that. - Jay takes her hands off her face. - Erin, look at me.
- No.
- Look at me.
- No.
- Why not?
- Because I don't deserve you. I can't give you a son Jay, I killed both of your sons. I can't keep them. I don't deserve you, I don't deserve Charlotte.
- Don't ever say that again. -Her tone is serious. He wipes her tears. - Look at me Erin. -her harsher tone makes her look at him, his look the opposite of her tone, he looks at her with love, with the love that she never felt deserved to receive, but lucky to have.
He loves her, regardless of anything, that look has never changed, it didn't change when she broke up with him the first time, not when he found her with Landom in his apartment, when he knew she was totally high on drugs and alcohol after the Nádia's death and didn't change after four years without seeing each other. This was the love of her life, her safe haven.
- Why did this happen again? We lost our baby, Jay. I couldn't even realize that I was losing him, we couldn't even hear his little heart. - she says in tears and Jay pulls her to him.
- I don't know, none of this is fair, but you're not to blame for any of this Erin. Charlotte was kidnapped, asphyxiated, fell into the lake and we lost her twice on the way to the hospital, that is a lot of stress and very traumatic. - It was horrible saying those words and remembering them, but she needed to understand where they were coming from. - None of this is your fault. - a miscarriage is never the woman's fault, much less in Lindsay's circumstances. - And we don't have answers as to why, but I have some answers for you, Charlotte is alive, she's fine. And this baby might not even hear us yet, but I know he could feel how much he was already loved. I know that no matter what happens, we have each other and we will get through this together.
- You should find someone who can give you a baby. I swear I won't keep Charlotte away from you if you don't want to be with me anymore.
- Don't you realize that I don't want anyone else but you? What do I want you with or without children? I'm not going anywhere Erin, neither are you, nor our daughter and I'm going to tell you this every day until you have no more doubts. Because I love you. - he leans in and kisses her, it's soft and calm and he opens her lips with his tongue asking for passage, she doesn't respond initially, but after his tongue insists she finally gives in and his hand on the back of her head pulls her, as if it was possible to get even closer, and the kiss becomes firmer and rougher. And she cries about it. She pulls away and hugs him. He kisses her forehead and pulls her into his chest.
He hugs her for a while that neither of them know exactly how long it was, but it was enough for her to calm down for now.
- Shall we change these clothes? - he asks and she smiles at him.
- You're talking to me as if I were Charlotte.
- You can be sure that I will take care of you equally. - He leans over and kisses her forehead.
- I love you, you know? I don't know how I got so lucky.
- I don't know how I got so lucky, even before you I thought I would have nothing and you transformed and gave everything I thought I didn't deserve. You are everything to me Erin. - he says with tears in his eyes.
- And you for me. - she whispers and kisses him, both feeling the taste of her tears on each other's lips.
Jay helps her get up and undress. She shivers from the cold. Jay didn't want her to bother taking that blood and he was so careful with her that it only made her want to cry even more and as intimate as it is, he's the one who cleans her up, without any malice or disgust for what he is doing, just empathy, love and affection in every part of the process and she could even do it alone, she is not disabled, but his care for her makes all the difference, this little thing makes all the difference and she is not sure if You can love him even more.
After she's dressed, Jay talks to her about what needs to be done and unfortunately she already knew the process, she's already been through it, the only difference is that she wasn't alone and didn't feel that way this time. Jay saying that the baby could feel that he was loved helped her come out of that trance, because it was true. The two babies from the beginning were loved by her and then by everyone. That was enough.
Jay couldn't accompany Erin to the curettage, so he stayed with Charlotte who was still sleeping while his brother informed everyone in the waiting room.
- I have some news. - he says to them as they approached quickly. - Charlotte will be discharged tomorrow. - he says with a smile and everyone smiles at the news, this was wonderful news.
- Can we visit her? - Kevin asks.
- Yes, she's sleeping, but Jay said you can go up, but it has to be two at a time. - Will says and they nod.
- And Erin, how is she? - Hank asks, finding it strange that he said Jay allowed it and not Erin.
- Jay asked you to go up first, he wants to talk to you.
- Is Erin okay? - Kim asks, finding Will's behavior strange.
- She will stay. - Will informs them and this only worries them more. They find it strange that she was the only one who wasn't hurt, but she's the only one they can't get answers for and that's when Kim becomes aware of what could have happened.
Hank went up alone while the rest decided who would go in which order to visit the child, they wanted to see him for themselves.
- Hank... hi. - Jay gets up, covering his daughter.
- How is she? - he approaches his granddaughter.
-Strong, the temperature has stabilized now, the tests were good, she is still a little scared, but she is a little warrior. - Jay smiles and strokes his daughter's hair, she was so beautiful.
- What happened? And what happened to Erin? - Hank asks. He knew from what the firefighters told him, but he wanted the full story.
- Lindsay suffered a miscarriage. - it was still difficult for him to assimilate this, but he wasn't going to show weakness to anyone. -She is in surgery now to remove the baby. It was the best option and then they will bring her here.
- She lost? - Hank says getting upset.
- It was all very traumatic for us. We saw when Charlotte was kidnapped, we watched him hold a knife to Charlotte's neck, he covered her nose and mouth to stop her breathing, we saw her fall unconscious and fall into the lake. She was dead in my arms and then we lost her once again in the ambulance. -he says each word as if it were a stab in the stomach every time he remembered it.
- Who did this to her? You know? - Voight says distressed and with hatred rising through his veins.
- I don't know exactly, we didn't have time to talk, but Erin called him Bryan, said he was Charlotte's biological father.
- Charlotte's father? - he shakes his head and bites his cheek. Jay knew him, knew what he was thinking and Jay wouldn't object in the slightest. - Where is he? Did they catch him?
-He is in the hospital. I don't know where they took him.
- Is that bastard here?! - he shouts and Jay scolds him with a look when Charlotte moves, but doesn't wake up. Hank doesn't say anything else and leaves the room.
Jay wouldn't mind if Hank killed him, he just hasn't done anything so far because he didn't want to leave Erin and Charlotte alone. He let people go up because if it were the other way around, he would also like to see the child alive after everything, even though it wasn't his, but he prohibited any officer from entering to take a statement. He was a sergeant and Erin was a lieutenant and as much as they had superiors, he said it was a traumatic time and that the suspect was in custody and they could wait.
Kim, Adam and Makayla were the first to go up. Makayla insisted that her mother buy her something to leave for her friend and Kim and Adam bought her a teddy bear.
- How is she? - Kim pulls Jay aside and the fact that he's already answered about Charlotte lets him know it's about Erin.
- In surgery.
- I'm sorry, Jay. - She puts her hand on his.
- Thanks. And, don't talk to anyone, we want to absorb everything.
- Of course, don't worry, you know you can count on me. - she smiles and leaves the room with her family, going to visit Sarah.
The next ones to go up were Vanessa and Kevin.
- You don't need to bring gifts.
- Can we spoil our little warrior a little? - Kevin says and Jay nods with a smile.
And that's how all the visits went, she received stuffed animals, balloons, flowers for her and Erin and even though she slept during the whole exchange, everyone smiled when they saw her with her skin color no longer bluish, her little body warm as she breathed. . She looked like a little angel and that comforted everyone.
Jay also learned from the firefighters what happened on the floor where Bryan was.
- Hey how's it going? My son drowned, I would like to know the fourth one, his name is Bryan. - Hank says feigning sympathy, but hatred and anger eats him up inside and even with almost no information, the woman looks around the room and warns him and smiles at him as he walks away.
Hank walks towards room 201 and when he finds it, he goes in and closes the door.
- Who are you? - the man who was also recovering felt strange, seeing that the man who had just entered was not in uniform.
- Your worst nightmare. - in a few seconds the man who was lying on the stretcher found himself against the wall hanging and being held by the neck. - Who are you?
- Let go of me... - the man struggles.
- That's not how we're going to play, I ask the questions here and you give me the answers.
- If not what?
- I'm glad you asked.. - Hank gives a devilish smile. - You know... - he says with his other hand going over and covering Bryan's mouth and nose, he was strong, but he was weak, so he wasn't able to let go of Hank. - I want you to feel the same sensation, what it's like to lose consciousness, but do you know how long it takes? Oh... I'm glad you asked. - Bryan didn't ask. - Well, they usually last 3 to 4 minutes before passing out, I believe my granddaughter must have taken less time, she is only four years old, she was crying, so I would say that in less than 2 minutes she was already unconscious. You know this is horrible, right? You try to breathe and you can't... - Hank lets him go and he was already weak. - You might be able to take more than her, but I know you won't because you also almost drowned, your body is still recovering. Then it's even better, because I can appreciate you feeling the same way you put my granddaughter through. - he covers his nose and mouth again. - Then let's go to the game. Who are you? - he releases the man.
- Fuck you. - he says in a weak and hoarse voice.
- Wrong answer. - Hank feels no remorse in seeing him struggling and fighting for his life.
Unfortunately, he didn't achieve anything, because he wasn't exactly being silent and for a while he managed to go unnoticed, but the noises started to attract attention and they went to investigate and found Bryan almost unconscious.
Jay didn't know exactly everything that happened, except that Hank was kicked out of the hospital for being caught trying to kill Bryan.
Jay's only concern was getting through the bedroom door, it didn't take long, they warned him that the procedure wouldn't take long.
- Hi babe. - He smiles and kisses her forehead.
- Hi... - she smiles, still a little groggy. - I'm thirsty.
Jay quickly grabs a glass and hands it to her.
They listen to what comes next. She will be discharged the next morning and has to rest, no different to what she went through four years ago. Some medications are recommended and she refuses, but accepts therapy with Dr. Charles.
They are left alone.
- How is she? - Erin turns to her sleeping daughter.
- Well, just sleeping, everyone came to visit her.
- I perceived. -she says pointing to the gifts her daughter received. She smiles at Jay. He loves those eyes, even if they are sad and tired. - Will you lie with me? - she asks and Jay doesn't lie down immediately because he pushes the bed next to Charlotte's and grabs a blanket for her. Erin caresses her daughter.
-She's so strong...-Jay whispers after he's lying next to Erin.
-Yes, she is...very strong. - Erin says not just for today, but for almost three years ago. - After I took protective custody of her, I ended up finding out that she was in withdrawal. She was high on meth. - Jay never knew that and his heart hurts just thinking about it. He squeezes her waist. - She cried all day and all night, it was the worst thing to witness and at first I didn't know, but it was horrible Jay, seeing what they did to their own daughter, she was only 1 year and a few months old and she was suffering from withdrawal. -Erin lets the tears flow as she looked at her daughter. - When I found out, I remembered my time of abstinence and it was horrible for me, imagine for a baby. I don't think I've ever been so scared, I wanted it to be me, she was so little and suffered so much. I was exhausted but it was impossible to sleep, it was the worst 2 months of our lives but it developed so quickly. - Erin smiles at the good memories. - She was cured, she had a physiotherapist and started walking, she also had a psychologist, I didn't even know that children so young had them, but it was more of accompaniment and guidance for me. - she explains. - You see? She's smart, she's intelligent, she's funny, talkative. She has been through so much in such a short time and she is still the most amazing, gentle, kindhearted, caring child I know.
- All thanks to you. She walked into his arms for the first time... - she had already told Jay that. - the first word was mom, the first smiles were dedicated to you, she is who she is because she has the best mother in the world. She is the most amazing child and has the most amazing mother.
- And the most amazing father. - She turns to him. - You saved our daughter Jay. Our little girl is here with us because she has the best father in the world. When you jumped I knew you would catch her, I was sure of it. Thank you for bringing her to me, to us. - she has tears in her eyes and leans towards him and kisses him. - You're right, everything will be fine, because we have each other. - she whispers against his lips. - I love you with my life, Jay Halstead and I can't wait to officially become your wife. - she says and he kisses her, strong and intense.
- I love you, I would give my life for you and our daughter, you are my world and that will never change. - he says and she smiles, she knows that. It wasn't the best day of their lives, but it only served to show how much their love meant to each other and how strong it was.
"It doesn't matter how you planned. It doesn't matter how you imagined. Even without knowing it, life finds a way to find you with exactly what you needed... Or exactly who you needed."
- One tree hill
A/N:This is the penultimate chapter. I have another Linstead story. Are you still interested? Can I continue posting?
The story is about Erin Lindsay Davis, an FBI agent who lives with her younger sister, Samantha Davis. Jay Halstead, ASAC of the FBI in NY, hires Erin as his new SAC. He has two young children: Maya, 6, and Jesse, 4.
Jay has a dark and sad past regarding his family and the mother of his children. Erin also has a complicated past with her family and the reasons why she is raising her younger sister. They end up falling in love, but will they be able to deal with their BROKEN HEARTS?