My band calls itself Blue Bonnie. I'm not really sure why. I didn't name it. I'm not even sure I was paying attention when it was named. I think I had just tuned in when Denise McCreary, our vocalist, asked us if the name was okay with everyone and given an automatic "yes".
It doesn't mean anything. I guess it's kind of cool that it doesn't.
Right now, I'm sitting in the McCrearys' living room with Denise and our bandmates, Jacqueline Pierce (who plays the bass), Renee Lankford (our drummer), and Gina Jackson (rhythm guitarist).
Jacqueline takes a drag of her cigarette. "I wonder what people must think when they're in the same room as me," she says. She doesn't seem to be speaking to anyone in particular, but I can't pass up the opportunity to be a smartass
"Probably, god, when can I leave this room and never see her again," I say. Jacqueline rolls her eyes, a smile playing at her lips.
"Thanks, Cal."
"Always happy to help," I smirk at her, to which Renee scoffs.
"Problem?" Jacqueline asks, only turning her head as much as is necessary for her to make eye contact with Renee.
"Callie's always saying some wack stuff to you and you just take it," Renee says, clearly trying to start something. "Why don't you ever say anything?"
"Because it's not necessary?"Jacqueline replies, mildly irritated. "Cal and I have known each other since we were five. I know she doesn't mean anything by the things she says."
"Yeah, but it's still not okay, the way she talks to people. Callie, you think you're really all that, don't you?"
I'm about to defend myself when Denise speaks up, looking up from her notebook where she's writing song lyrics. "Renee, please shut up. I'm trying to write here," she says.
"Sorry, your highness," Renee says.
"Why don't you ever let us help you write?" Gina asks Denise, gesturing to the notebook.
"Because you four don't understand my vision," Denise says casually, jotting down a few words in her notebook.
"Again with the 'nobody understands me' schtick," Jacqueline says under her breath, rolling her eyes again.
I sit back, looking nowhere in particular. Jackie offers me a cigarette, but I decline it. We all used to be closer than this before we formed this band. We were far nicer to each other. Jacqueline wasn't as melancholic, Renee wasn't as bitchy, Denise wasn't as condescending, and Gina…well, I guess Gina hasn't really changed much. I actually felt like I had friends before we formed this band. Now, it just kind of feels like we're coworkers who don't like each other.
"What say we all go out tonight?" I suggest. "Get away from the band stuff, it's draggin' us down."
"Are you serious?" Denise questions, incredulity colouring her features. "Get away from the band stuff?"
I sigh. "Den, I realise this is your passion, but everything's better in moderation. Besides, don't you think we're better off just being friends and not bandmates for a night?" I look at the other girls, pleading with my eyes for them to agree with me.
I can tell Denise is considering my words, and Jacqueline takes my hint and chimes in. "Could be fun. God knows I need a night out."
"Does God know that, or does Callie know that, like she knows everything?" Renee says mockingly.
"Plot twist, Ren. I am God." I retort.
"Blasphemous bitch," Renee scoffs. She's always the first to name call. I don't take it personally - girl has problems.
"So that's what BB stands for. And here I thought it was Blue Bonnie." Gina chuckles.
"Shows what you know," I quip jokingly.
"Fine, let's say I do want to put this aside for a minute. Where would we go? What would we do?" Denise asks.
"We could go back to that diner we like that we haven't been to in a while," Gina suggests.
"The one over on Melgrove?" I ask.
"Beside the Exxon." Gina nods.
"I did like that place," Renee concedes. "Let's go there."
"Denise?" I ask, looking for confirmation that that's what she wants to do.
Denise sighs. "Fine. For a little bit, I guess."
I smile. "That's all I'm askin'."
We head out. "We're taking my car." I say.
"Of course we are. Always the Mazda with you," Jacqueline chuckles.
"Never not the Mazda, Jackie. Get good." I tease, getting into the driver's seat.
"I'm already good," Jackie says, "and I call shotgun." She opens the passenger door and gets in.
"No fair, I haven't gotten shotgun in a while," Gina whines, climbing into the back with Denise and Renee.
"Life's not fair, Regina," Jacqueline responds, chuckling at Gina's whining.
"It should be for pretty girls like me," Gina complains.
Jacqueline and I exchange a puzzled and mildly annoyed look.
"Gina, if life were fair for pretty girls, everyone in this car would have it easy," Renee says.
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Aw, you think I'm pretty," I say with a slight smirk.
"You're pretty and annoying. Two things can be true at once," Renee says, squinting at me.
"I'll take it. It's better than ugly and annoying," I shrug.
Jacqueline turns my stereo up, and "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots comes through the speakers. "Nice," she comments.
"Nice, like you didn't introduce me to this song," I scoff.
"I know. I was complimenting my own taste," Jacqueline smirks.
"So full of yourself."
"I'm proud of liking the things I like," Jacqueline says.
"Fair enough," I say.
I pull into the parking lot of the diner soon, and we pile out. We're greeted by the familiar, albeit dingy old building that's been here since before we were born. The neon sign that flickers just a bit, but you don't notice it very much unless you're staring at the sign. We enter the building, greeted by the smell of grease, coffee, and a hint of cigarette smoke. I'm hit with a wave of nostalgia as we sit in a booth, waiting to be tended to. We really did spend the better part of our adolescence here, and the fact that we're becoming adults now is starting to sink in for me. We'll have to start our own lives eventually. Would the band survive that? Would our friendships survive that? I wish I were sure.
We order our food - burgers, fries, milkshakes - and begin to chat about our lives.
"You seen that foreign exchange student lately?" Gina asks me.
I sigh, knowing she's talking about Giovanni. "Yeah, last time I saw the boy he was complainin' that I don't spend enough time with him. Why?"
"I think he likes you," Gina says.
"Oh, Gina," Jacqueline says, "you think everyone likes everyone."
"I do, because they do," Gina responds before turning back to me.
"It doesn't matter, I don't see him like that," I assure her, as the waitress brings us our drinks. We thank her.
Gina looks confused. "Why not? He's good-lookin'."
"It takes a lot more than that for me to care about someone in a romantic way," I answer. "He may be pretty, but he's unnecessarily clingy."
"Not into clingy? I figured you'd want someone to be obsessed with you like that," Renee says, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
"I have enough to deal with, my family's a mess. A clingy partner would be…a lot more to deal with," I say, sipping my coke.
"Sometimes having someone by your side makes those things easier," Denise says.
"Not in the examples I've been given," I say, not volunteering any more information.
"So how's Georgie?" Renee asks. "Still engaged to someone twice his age?"
"That he is."
"Wait, she's not actually twice his age, right?" Gina asks, looking worried.
"Damn near close enough," Jacqueline interjects. "Callie has told us already, she's 30."
"Right, I forgot that," Gina says apologetically.
"Not your fault," I say, "I mentioned it in passing."
"We've all done a bad job of listening to each other lately," Denise says.
"Rich coming from the girl who won't hear our input on the lyrics," Renee points out.
"Or learn guitar so that I don't have to be rhythm anymore," Gina adds, referring to the fact that rhythm guitar is usually left up to the vocalist.
"I'm not just talking about y'all, geniuses. I'm talking about me, too," Denise says, frustration clear in her voice.
"Fine," I concede. "Our communication skills need work. We don't want the band to break up, or want to lose each other, right?"
Gina, Jacqueline, and Denise nod in agreement. Renee doesn't give any indication that she agrees.
"Renee?" Denise raises an eyebrow expectantly.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry," Renee says, "just zoned out a bit, sorry."
Jacqueline raises an eyebrow in suspicion, but decides not to press, and none of the rest of us do either.
"Uh oh," Gina says, nodding toward the door. "Look what the cat dragged in."
I follow her gaze to see my most recent ex, Liam Jameson, entering the diner. My expression immediately becomes bitter, but I try to hide it behind my milkshake.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Denise snaps as Liam passes our table, earning a scoff from him as he stops and turns to her.
"What, suddenly a man can't eat anywhere?" Liam snaps back.
"Not one that's clearly just here to bother people," Denise responds. She's right. Liam likes to come around and cause trouble for us. "You should leave us all alone since you broke Callie's heart."
"It's fine, y'all," I say, trying to diffuse the tension and get Liam out of the way. I cover my face with my hand, lowering my head to the table.
"What do you mean 'it's fine'? Girl, I oughta knock some sense into you," Denise scolds. "He broke your heart and he has the nerve to come here."
"We should call Georgie," Gina suggests. I look up from covering my face, my expression puzzled.
"Georgie?" I ask, scoffing.
"Why?" Renee asks.
"Uh, so he can kick his ass," Gina nods toward Liam, who scoffs, but says nothing. He's a little afraid of my brother, having gotten into a spat with him before.
"And how is that supposed to help, hm?" Jacqueline asks. "Do you really think that would accomplish anything?"
Liam seems to feel a sense of hope and relief at Jacqueline's words.
"And what would you have in mind, Miss Problem Solver Pierce?" Gina asks sarcastically.
"Maybe we speak to him like civilised people first before throwing fists everywhere?" Jacqueline raises an eyebrow.
"Wait, you guys really don't know anything, do you?" Liam realises. My eyes widen and I glare at him, daring him silently to keep speaking.
"What do you mean?" Denise asks. "What are we missing?"
Even Jacqueline has a look of intrigue on her features as she lights a cigarette.
"Seems as if a certain someone never actually told you four why it was we split," Liam chuckles dryly. "Go on, Cal. Let 'em know."
"This is not the time nor the place for this conversation, William," I say tensely, my anger brimming under the surface.
"Yeah, and we'll be just fine if we ignore it forever, Charlotte" Liam says sarcastically, his expression hardening at the use of his full given name. I roll my eyes.
"It's none of your business anymore," I force out, my teeth gritted in anger and embarrassment.
"I think that it is. I think it's going to be my business for a long time," Liam says, putting his hands on the table and leaning in so close I can feel his breath on my face. It smells of brisket. He's already eaten, which means he only came here to cause trouble.
My anger flares up. "You better get out of my face there," I say, looking straight ahead.
"Or what?" Liam asks, daring me to do something.
But I don't have to. Jacqueline puts her cigarette out on Liam's hand. He yelps in pain, jumping back.
"You bitch!" he exclaims as Denise, Renee, and Gina howl in laughter. I'm staring at Jacqueline, stunned at her audacity. Jacqueline catches me staring and shrugs. "He deserved it."
The owner of the diner calls out from behind the counter, "Hey! You all need to leave. Now."
We all become sheepish, realising we've gotten so loud that we've caused a scene. Liam hurries out of the diner.
"Let's go," Denise says, standing.
We all stand after her. "Jackie, you didn't have to do that," I say aside to her as we walk out of the diner.
"Well, it's not like you were doing anything," Renee chimes in.
"Obviously, so we wouldn't get kicked out of our favourite diner," I respond, giving Jacqueline a pointed look.
"A simple 'thank you' would suffice," Jacqueline says, unapologetic.
"Thanking you? For assaulting someone?" I scoff, getting in the driver's seat.
"For getting him away from you," she corrects. "Should be showing me some gratitude."
"Weren't there better ways to approach that?" I ask, starting my car.
"Anyone could see he was threatening you," Jacqueline replies. "I was doing my job as your best friend."
"He wasn't threatening me enough for you to burn his hand, Jacqueline," I argue. "I'm taking you home first, I'm not going to keep arguing with you." I pull out of the parking lot.
"And if I don't want to go home?" Jacqueline asks.
"Then you can go wherever you want, in your own car, after I drop you off," I say, irritation clear in my tone.
Jacqueline sighs. "Fine," she says. She doesn't speak again until I drop her off, and all that she says is "thanks" before getting out of the car. She slams my passenger door, earning a scoff from me. I love her, but she's stubborn.
Denise chuckles.
"What?" I ask, my voice still tense.
"Nothing," she says, running a hand through her blue hair. "Just funny how you two interact."
"What do you mean? I see nothing funny about it," I say, frowning at her.
"That's because you're in it and it's stressing you out," Denise explains. "But to us, it's funny."
Gina and Renee nod and giggle in support of Denise's claim. I sigh. "You guys are stupid."
"So are you," Renee retorts.
"And you're going home next," I say.
I drop the rest of the girls off, and then head home. I enter the house through the kitchen entrance, my eyes landing upon a chore schedule on the fridge. My eyes also land on the clock. It's 1am. I missed a lot today.
As I continue to look around, I notice Georgie sitting at the table alone. "Hey?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing up? Thought you'd be grasping at any rest you can get."
"You'd think so," Georgie sighs, looking at the table.
I grab a beer from the fridge and sit with him. I slide the beer over to him.
"You takin' Dad's beer?" Georgie asks, but opens it anyway.
"He doesn't need it, trust me," I say, "and you look like you do. What's wrong?"
He takes a swig. "It's the gambling room."
I sigh. I've heard about the gambling room that Georgie and MeeMaw are running, but I'd never be caught dead in there. Gambling is a stupid solution to stupid problems. "I stand by what I said. It shouldn't exist and it's dumb that MeeMaw roped you into it."
"Always got something to say about everything," Georgie quips.
"Look at the family I'm part of," I point out, which causes him to nod in begrudging agreement.
"This is what works for me right now, okay? But the problem is, MeeMaw's bringin' in a roulette table,'' Georgie explains.
"That's very illegal. If you're caught with that, that'll put your ass in jail," I say, horrified at the thought.
"Yeah,"Georgie agrees, "that's what I'm afraid of."
"Have you told MeeMaw about your worries?" I ask. He nods.
"She's still going to do it. I told Mandy about it too," he says. "She thinks it's a good idea and she don't care if I go to jail for it. She says she'll wait."
I roll my eyes. "And we all thought you were the one with no brains in this family."
"Hey," Georgie says, mildly offended.
"Am I wrong?" I raise an eyebrow, challenging him to disagree.
"Well, no, but I still don't like to hear it," Georgie says, as if that should be obvious.
I sigh. "Fine. Sorry. But seriously, Mandy doesn't care if you go to jail? Why?"
"The table's gonna bring in a bunch of money for us," Georgie says.
"And that's enough to support you going to jail? Being away from CeCe?" I ask, offended for Georgie. "They want you to risk throwing your life away for a couple dollars?"
"A thousand dollars a day," Georgie points out.
"Yeah, doesn't matter. They're choosing money over your…life. That ain't right," I shake my head, disgusted.
"MeeMaw's got to rebuild somehow," Georgie argues.
"And she's smart enough to find another way. I hope she comes to her senses because this is wicked dumb," I say.
There's a pause in conversation.
"So, what's with you? Why are you home so late?" Georgie asks.
"Blue Bonnie," I say, not giving any more information.
"Late rehearsal?" he asks, and I know he's prying.
I nod.
"Anything else?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope," I say, forcing a yawn. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight. By the way, if Dad asks who took his beer, I'm gonna tell him it was you."
"I wouldn't expect anythin' else," Georgie chuckles.
I lie in bed, thinking about the events of that night. About the secret I'm hiding that only Liam and I know. My bedroom being next to Sheldon's, I can hear CeCe beginning to fuss.
"Might as well get used to that," I mutter to myself before groaning into my pillow. Sleep evades me for a few hours, but I eventually fall asleep.