A month after her conversation with Teddy and Owen Allison sat waiting in Annie's office. She had just finished her group therapy session but they had talked about coping skills, not what was currently on Allison's mind. She was scared to see her parents, she needed her big sister. She knew Annie rarely got angry with her or judged.
"Ali bean," Annie said, "what's going on?"
"I missed you," Allison said.
"And we have a coffee date tomorrow," Annie said, "I know that face your not okay and hiding from mama."
"Can you help me with a pregnancy test," Allison blurted.
"I can," Annie said, "you want me to take your blood?"
"Without mom knowing," Allison said, "I'm your patient aren't I?"
"I'll do it as a Jane doe," Annie promised, "bean I need you to tell me what's going on."
"Nee I'm scared," Allison said.
"Somethings really going on, you haven't called me that in years," Annie said sitting on the edge of her desk.
"I can't tell you," Allison said, "you'll tell mom."
"You're telling me as your doctor and your sister," Annie said, "I won't tell mama."
"But you're old," Allison said.
"Yes but that doesn't change that I'm here," Annie said, "makes me less likely to freak out actually."
"What if," Allison asked.
"Tell me these symptoms," Annie said, "it's only one option."
"I'm really tired, I could sleep all day, my stomach is upset more before school, I have a headache all the time and my period is late," Allison listed.
"How late," Annie asked.
"A week," Allison answered.
"Okay I'll run the blood test but I want to do a thyroid panel," Annie said, "you about the age I was when they diagnosed my hashimotos it's on mama's side when I did the genetic tests. I want to check that."
"Is it bad," Allison asked.
"I was diagnosed at 16," Annie said, "in grade 11. It's a simple medication and checking it every few weeks at first then a couple times a year. The medication is so safe I've been on synthroid for 26 years."
"It's not deadly," Allison asked.
"You take care of it with medication, diet and exercise," Annie said, "sometimes I get tired or grumpy because of it. Ask my kids but no not dying but it feels like it when it flares up."
"What if," Allison asked.
"Then I can be with you to tell mama and uncle Owen or you can practice telling them with me whatever you want to do," Annie promised.
"You won't be mad at me," Allison asked.
"I promised you when you were a brand new baby that I would always be here and with you. That will never change," Annie said.
"Mom said you had another sister, did you tell her the same thing," Allison asked.
"I did," Annie said, "Jessica died 11 years ago."
"From what," Allison asked.
"Inoperable tumor in her heart and lungs," Annie said, "Her and mama's first husband are the inspiration for my research. Whatever happens, bean I've got you. If you need a place to come hide from mama and uncle Owen our house is always open."
"Your kids," Allison asked.
"Family is family," Annie declared, "you're going to sit here and try to breathe. There's chocolate in my top desk drawer. I'm going to get a blood draw kit. You sure you want me to do it. I'm out of practice on this."
"Is Chris here today," Allison asked.
"I'll page him," Annie smiled, "he's in the peds icu with one of Josh's trauma patients."
Annie called Chris to her office and he did the blood draw not asking Annie why it was being done, sensing his sister wouldn't tell him anyway.
"Annie if I am mom is going to murder me," Allison panicked.
"No," Annie said, "she can't. Her and uncle Owen weren't even dating when she got pregnant with you. I would have known if they were dating. She would have told me. If they were dating she would have insisted he come to my med school graduation."
"He didn't go," Allison asked.
"Nope it was me mama and Chris," Annie said, "uncle Owen and nana called me that morning and sent a really nice card. I saw them a few days later when I moved to the cottage and nana made a special dinner for the three of us."
"Three," Allison asked.
"Nana, Owen and I " Annie said.
"So mom," Allison asked.
"Neither you or I are planned," Annie said, "neither was adopting Leo."
"Did you plan yours," Allison asked.
"Half," Annie admitted, "the first two. But my family is exactly what it should be. I talked to mama and she told me that the universe had a plan and we had to go with it. If it is and it's a huge if you will have the whole family with you."
"Josh," Allison asked.
"Josh and I, Mama and Uncle Owen, Auntie Megan and Uncle Nathan," Annie promised, "nana will be rushing to get yarn, she always does. Chris and Jenna. We'll all be here. Allison, why do you think it's that?"
"Because Asher and I," Allison whispered.
"How long have you been with Asher," Annie asked, "I haven't heard you mention him."
"He was a friend," Allison said, "then we were at Ava's party and he kissed me."
"Okay Kissing doesn't create a baby," Annie reminded.
"It was more than that," Allison admitted.
"Did you use protection," Annie asked.
"No," Allison said, "nothing. I didn't plan on it. I've never told mom. Don't tell her I did that for the first time. She'll be mad."
"I never told her," Annie said, "that's always been a boundary I've kept with her. It's a very healthy boundary. I discuss that with one other person. The only other person involved in the relationship."
"If I am she'll know," Allison said.
"She will," Annie said.
"What doe we do," Allison asked.
"We're going to wait for the blood work and see," Annie said.
"I'm scared," Allison whined.
"I know." Annie said, "waiting to hear is scary."
"Nee can I have a hug," Allison asked.
"Always," Annie said with a gentle smile hugging Allison tight.
"What will mom say if I run to you," Allison asked.
"Mama was the same age I am now when her and I decided we were best, the two of us, that that was what was safest and healthiest for me," Annie said, "she will want to be there for you and to know you're safe and loved."
"Do you want another baby," Allison asked.
"I'm done," Annie said, "but I will always want to cuddle and see my nieces and nephews when it's time. Being Auntie to Chris and Jenna's kids is fun. One day when it's your and Leo's turns I will be really excited. Tell me what's going on at school. I feel like I never see you any more."
Allison began to fill Annie in on the last couple weeks.
Annie checked the system for her Jane Doe.
"Okay bean you need to talk to mama ," Annie said, "your HCG elevated, you were right, your pregnant. Thyroid is bad and you have no iron. You need to tell mama your baby and your other symptoms and she'll take you to someone who can run a deeper panel and get to the source of the thyroid and lack of iron. Plus we need to get you up to OB. If it was under your name I would be ordering an iron infusion STAT and admitting you for it."
"Can you come," Allison asked, "we'll go now."
"She's in the Or," Annie said, "then I have a valve, she scrubs out and I go in once it's clean. Want to scrub in?"
"Really," Allison asked.
"Why not," Annie said, "the chief's daughters no one will question."
"They said 19," Allison said.
"Because I was," Annie answered, "you can come with me. I'll deal with mama."
Annie wanted to keep Allison close until she told Teddy. It had to be Allison who told her parents. Annie also knew her little sister fled when she was upset.
"If I go wait in her office what do I say," Allison asked.
"Tell her what you told me," Annie said, "your period is late, you're exhausted and dizzy. You were off at the cabin over labour day."
"Can I tell her that you did blood work," Allison asked.
"You tell her as much or as little as you want," Annie said, "you came to me as your sister. She will understand that."
"I'm scared," Allison cried.
"I have been two every time," Annie said, "I'm sure mama was."
"If I stay with you now can you come with me," Allison asked.
"I can," Annie promised, "can I call Josh quickly and tell him something came up and I'll be a bit later than I thought?"
"Okay," Allison nodded.
When Annie hung up Allison asked, "will this be hard? I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom. I can't be a mom."
"It won't be easy," Annie said, "you have choices bean. I was adopted, Leo, Faroke, Catrina."
"If I don't want to," Allison asked.
"You could keep them and we'll all help or you can go see Stephanie or Carina and it's over," Annie said, "it's up to you."
"What would you do," Allison asked.
"I can't tell you that," Annie said, "I can promise I'm always here for you. You're my baby bean always."
"I'm already in so much trouble dad is about to kill me," Allison said.
"Why," Annie asked.
"I've gone to a lot of parties," Allison said.
"Drinking," Annie asked.
"Most weekends," Allison admitted.
"What do you want to do," Annie asked.
"Can you help me," Allison asked.
"Always," Annie replied.
Teddy's surgery had finished early and she made her way to Annie's office; she hadn't had a chance to catch up with Annie in a couple weeks. They passed at work but both were so busy they hadn't had time for even a cup of coffee.
"Allison," Teddy said when Annie let her in.
"Mom, don't be mad," Allison cried.
"Why are you crying," Teddy asked.
"Nee you tell her I can't," Allison sobbed.
"I can't tell her," Annie said, putting her hand gently on her sister's back.
"Mom I'm," Allison started.
"Allison what," Teddy asked.
"Nee I can't you have to," Allison bawled.
"Girls what do you know," Teddy tried.
"Nee did a blood test for me," Allison whispered.
"Can I see," Teddy asked.
"Nee show her," Allison said.
"Look at this," Annie said, "I ran it as Jane Doe to keep it off your radar because Allison was anxious."
Annie passed her tablet with the blood work results to Teddy.
Teddy took a deep breath stuffing down her own shock.
"It'll be okay baby girl," Teddy said, "we'll figure it out. You dad and I can figure this out."
"Steph's free," Annie said.
"Okay we're going to go up to see Dr Mitchell and get some information," Teddy said.
"Can Nee come," Allison asked.
"Only if you want me," Annie answered.
"Your valve," Teddy asked.
"I have 90 minutes before I have to scrub," Annie said, "it's a routine valve."
"Annie, can you step out," Teddy asked.
"Of course. I'm going to go get all of us some water," Annie answered.
"Did you just leave Teddy in your office," Owen asked, seeing Annie.
"Her and Allison are talking. My office is a neutral space," Annie declared, "leave them."
"Is everything okay," Owen asked.
"They'll talk to you," Annie said.
"Your sister is rebelling," Owen said.
"She's exploring her own way," Annie said, "mamas with her and they're figuring it out. Leave it for now. You have to let Allison call the shots right now."
"My 17 year old " Owen snapped.
"Uncle Owen she's got a lot going on," Annie hissed, "she's sick of being in Leo and my shadows."
"You know she's been partying," Owen said.
"She's drunk dialed me," Annie said.
"You didn't tell us " Owen argued.
"Yes I am closer in age to you and mama but Allison needed me. She needed her big sister, an adult she trusts. I didn't think she was in immediate danger. I offered to go get her and she is always welcome at my house," Annie said, "I'm seeing very quickly teenagers are hard. I thought I knew how to deal with them but no. Allison needed to talk to someone she trusted. I will always be that person for her. And I pray Ellie has that person who isn't me she feels she can always go to. I am that person, that second trusted adult for Allison. I will not betray her trust. She is safe, she is being taken care of, she is with mama."
"Where are you going," Owen asked.
"To get water, check on my kids and then go do a surgery," Annie said.
In the office Teddy asked, "why did you go to Annie first?"
"I was scared," Allison said.
"I don't want to be a mom," Allison said.
"You have choices," Teddy said, "we can end it today. I need someone in OB to confirm then they give you a medication that ends it and you'll have the period from hell but its done."
"I don't want to kill it either," Allison said.
"Adoption is a hard choice but it is a choice," Teddy said, "it's the hardest choice I've ever made."
"Why did you," Allison asked.
"I loved Annie too much to hold her back," Teddy said, "I worried I would have held her back. I was 20 when I found out and turned 21 7 weeks before she was born, the same week I started med school. I couldn't give her the life I wanted for her."
"If I give up my baby will I see them again," Allison asked.
"We will help you work it out so you see them as much as you and your child want to," Teddy promised, "that is one thing I would have done differently. I would have had more contact with her. I would have seen Annie, been able to call her and hear her voice, her laugh."
"She has a good laugh," Allison said.
"She does," Teddy agreed, "who is the guy?"
"Asher," Allison said.
"You need to tell him," Teddy said, "I can be with you or Annie. You don't have to do it alone."
"He's not talking to me," Allison said, "he hasnt since we."
"Okay," Teddy said, "then we make him talk. He can't ignore you."
"Does he get a say," Allison asked.
"It's your body," Teddy said, "he needs the information but he can't decide for you."
"If I keep it," Allison said, "I won't go to college will I?"
"Why wouldn't you," Teddy said, "we look at something closer to home. UW maybe. You live at home and dad and I help you out."
"Dad," Allison said, "he's going to kill me."
"No," Teddy said, "shock, worry but not kill you."
"You," Allison said.
"I wasn't a lot older then you when I had to tell my mom the same thing," Teddy said, "I'm surprised. I'm really worried. We don't have to make any decisions now."
"What do we have to do now," Allison asked.
"We have to go up to OB and make sure you're healthy," Teddy said, "we need to get you on synthroid for your thyroid. I want you on an iron infusion today."
"What will you tell dad," Allison asked.
"I'm going to tell him about your thyroid," Teddy said, "those numbers I've seen that combo with low iron in Annie. We'll fix it, you'll be on the medication the rest of your life but it's okay it's once a day. Iron we'll get it up. It's not a big deal. I am telling dad about that today."
"My baby," Allison asked.
"You can tell him or I will," Teddy said, "but we can't lie to him and hide it."
"Can you," Allison said.
"I will," Teddy said, "I sent your blood work to myself and to Steph Mitchell. She has to be involved either way."
"Can you send it to dad," Allison asked.
"No," Teddy said, "we'll talk to him tonight. You and I together at home. How your you feeling baby girl?"
"Scared, tired, I have a headache," Allison asked.
"Tired is a few things," Teddy said, "depression, thyroid, anemic and pregnant. Dr. Mitchell, home, dinner, talk to dad a bath and bed."
"Dance," Allison said.
"Not today," Teddy said, "you're taking a few months off starting soon, no championships and no long steps, if you keep the baby or go for adoption."
"Annie," Allison asked.
"She took time off when she's had each of hers then went back to her adult class when she was ready," Teddy said, "I ran as much and as long as I could with both of you then ran again as soon as my drs were okay with it after. Today that's not a worry. Today we get some iron in you which will really help your fatigue and we talk to dad."
Owen texted Teddy, "is Allison ok?"
Teddy, "we'll all talk at home. She's with me. Right now we need an iron infusion and to get her on synthroid. I'll show you the blood work at home."
Owen, "her thyroid two?"
Teddy, "it was always a possibility it's on my side and Annie's was adolescent onset. Same combo, low iron, low b12, high TPO and TSH."
Owen, "what can I do?"
Teddy, "make dinner."
Owen," what?"
Teddy, "she likes pasta. I'll get what she needs on our way home."
Owen, "you're not telling me something."
Teddy, "we will later. I have her. She's talking to me and Annie. She needs her mom and sister."
This will still work into the epilogue of Long Lost Daughter, I have a plan for Allison.