Missy has this new friend named Taylor, who she didn't tell Dad was a boy at first, and then she told him he was gay when she found out he was a boy, so in conclusion, Missy's got herself a boyfriend.
It's the oldest trick in the book. I did it when I was her age. A guy named Thomas Beaufort. Dad never found out. I think it's kind of funny.
I'm in the living room, watching - well, I don't really know what I'm watching. Seems like some soap opera or something. Anyway, I'm in the living room watching this B.S. and Missy comes in.
"Hey," she says.
Upon hearing her speak, I turn to her, a smirk on my face. "Well, hi, Melissa."
She reads my face. Her expression falters and she immediately looks caught out. "You know!" she says, pointing at me.
"Put that finger down, I never said that," I say, with a small smile remaining on my face. "But let's say I do know. Let's say you are lyin' to Dad. What's stopping me from going in and waking him up and telling him you're a filthy fibber?"
"Um…loyalty?" Missy tries.
"Gotta do better than that, you know I'm a cold-blooded traitor," I tease.
"I'll…give you $10?" she tries again.
I roll my eyes, sighing. I lean back in my seat. "Missy, just do me a favour and tell Dad the truth like you should have in the first place."
"And get myself grounded for life? Why would I do that?"
"Look, I can talk Dad out of pretty much any punishment in this house," Callie says.
"Mostly because you tire him out and he doesn't want to continue arguing with you anymore," Missy scoffs.
"Yeah, see where Sheldon got it? Besides, are you going to bash my methods when they very well could get you out of trouble, or at the very least, in less trouble?" I raise an eyebrow, hoping that I am able to convince her. Any secret that I can expose from my siblings is good enough to delay mine getting found out. Redirecting focus.
Missy sighs. "Fine. I'll tell him tomorrow. But if this backfires, I'm going to make you pay for it," she says, heading for her room.
"Oh, Missy, I doubt that. But you can try," I chuckle.
The next day, the phone rings and I answer it. "Hello, Charlotte Cooper speaking."
A woman with an accent, probably German, comes through. "I have a collect call from Sheldon Cooper. Do you accept the charges?" she asks.
I'm puzzled for a second, but answer, "Yeah, yeah I guess."
"Callie! Thank god you accepted. I'm stranded at a train station in Weinheim, Germany and I can't call Mom because I lied about-" Sheldon's voice comes over the transmitter, sounding panicked.
"Weinheim? That's quite a way from Heidelberg, don't you think?" I ask. "So I'm guessing you lied to Mom about where you were going, what you were doing? Common trend these days."
"Callie, I don't care about whatever you all have going on at the house right now. I need your assistance. Mom thinks I'm at the library."
"The library? Sheldon, you do realise I have no choice but to call Mom now, right? There's no other way I could possibly help you," I tell him.
"No, please don't do tha-"
"Bye, Sheldon," I hang up the phone. For a boy supposedly rooted in logic, he has none outside of his own interests. I clear my throat, dialling the number to call Mom.
After a few seconds of ringing, I hear my mother's voice through the phone. "Hello?" she answers politely.
I tense immediately.
"Hey. Sheldon's stuck at a train station in Weinheim. Apparently he lied to you about being at the library?"
"What?" she sounds shocked.
"I know. Kids lie. What are you gonna do?" I say casually. "Anyway, you handle that. Good talk, mom." I hang up the phone. She'll deal with it.
I know I could have called the German police instead of Mom, and I'm sure Sheldon knows that too, like he knows everything. But I have to admit that deep down, a part of me just wanted to hear Mom's voice. I haven't seen her in a while.
It sounds stupid, I know. I wish my relationship with my mother weren't so tense. And it's about to get more tense, too. Can't win for losin'.
Someone knocks on the door. Dad goes and answers it and it's Jacqueline. I don't usually realise it because I see Jacqueline more often at night, but when the sun hits her hair it looks like her head is on fire a little bit. Good. It should be.
"Is Callie here?" Jacqueline asks my dad.
You just looked me right in my face, dumbass. You know I'm here.
I don't say that aloud.
"I'm right here," I say. I start out the door, forcing Jacqueline to move out of the way. I shut the door behind me, purposefully leaving my father out of the loop.
"Why are you here?" I ask.
"To apologise," Jacqueline says.
"You? Apologise?" I ask incredulously. "Sure. What's the catch?"
"No catch," Jacqueline says, putting her hands in her pockets and looking at the ground. "I know I was out of line burning Liam the other night."
"Well, it's not me you gotta apologise to, anyhow."
"You're outta your dadgum mind if you think I'm gonna apologise to Liam." Jacqueline snaps, looking at me now.
"Spoken like someone who wants to make amends," I say sarcastically, earning a glare from Jacqueline.
"I'm not going to apologise to him. He was bothering you." There's a finality in her tone. I can't argue with her.
"Fine," I sigh.
"Why do you always do that?" Jacqueline asks.
"What?"
She mimics my sighing. "Sigh like that. Like a disappointed parent."
"Have you seen my siblings? I am a disappointed parent."
"Ah, give them more credit. They turned out okay."
"You don't know the half. You know, you're the only one of my friends who never had a weird crush on Georgie."
"He's not my type," she shrugs.
I nod. I am not used to hearing that from my friends, but it's kind of nice. I haven't ever seen Jacqueline date anyone though, so I don't even know if she has a type.
"There's a party tonight," she says. "The girls are going, they wanted to know if you were going, too."
I groan. "A party, really?"
"Not feeling it?" she raises an eyebrow.
"No, actually. I was just going to lie in my room and think about things," I say truthfully, instead of trying to sound cool. It wouldn't matter anyway, Jacqueline already knows I'm not cool.
She nods. "Sounds more fun than a party full of drunk co-eds. Can I join you?"
I'm surprised. "You want to join me?" I ask her, skeptical. "Just listening to Pearl Jam and thinking about stuff?"
"Just gave you the reason why." She folds her arms. "So can I come in or not?"
"Fine," I shrug. I open the door and gesture inside dramatically. "After you."
She scoffs, but in amusement, not derision. We go inside.
"Oh, hey, Jacqueline, ain't seen you 'round here in a while," my dad says, noticing us come in.
"Oh, yeah, well…" Jacqueline responds kind of awkwardly.
"It's not about that spat I had with your dad, is it?" he asks.
"You want me to lie to you?" Jacqueline asks, raising an eyebrow. She has always been the only friend brave enough to sass my folk like this.
Dad sighs. "No. Just as long as you know I was right."
Jacqueline chuckles. "Sure thing, George."
It was an argument about the best football team in Texas. I'm not even sure if Jacqueline knows who the Oilers even are. I know she doesn't care.
We make it to my room and close the door. Jacqueline wastes no time in getting the music started and playing at a low volume. She takes charge of everything, and with me being the oldest sibling in my family, it's nice to have someone else take the lead sometimes.
I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I begin to think about everything as Jacqueline lies beside me, following suit.
Missy is hiding a boyfriend from Dad - something that would never fly with Mom here. Although, I'm not so sure about that. After all, Sheldon did almost get away with lying to her about going to the library and ended up stranded an hour away from Heidelberg. Of course, that doesn't mean he's not totally going to pay for that. But of course, I'm not so sure he'll get any real consequences. He's Sheldon, after all. Mom will find a way through any mental gymnastics she can to redeem Sheldon and his actions. She always finds a way to make him seem like the angel in the end.
I'm worried about Georgie and MeeMaw. This gambling business is going way too far. And what is it about MeeMaw that she has to take the fast and easy (or as easy as she perceives it to be) way out? Putting Georgie's future in jeopardy to try to rebuild her home? Not something a grandmother should do.
"You ever think about what it would be like to date a girl?" Jacqueline asks me, breaking me out of my reverie. I sit up a little and look at her.
"I beg your pardon?" I ask her.
"I'm just askin'. Does it ever cross your mind? A friend of mine told me it does hers. A lot, actually. So I was wondering if maybe you thought about it too." Jacqueline asks. There's something in her voice that's different, but that I can't place.
"No," I answer. "It doesn't. Does it yours?"
"No, of course not," Jacqueline says. She turns back to the ceiling.
I don't really dwell on her question. Jacqueline likes to ask weird, random questions sometimes.
We spend a few hours like this, talking about our lives and our friends every so often. It's nice to just get away from the chaos for a little with someone I enjoy spending time around.
…
A few days later, the family (aside from MeeMaw) has made a sign that says "Welcome home Mom and Sheldon!" and we're at the airport in Houston.
Missy still hasn't told Dad about her boyfriend, but it's fine. He'll know eventually, either way. Whether it's in 20 hours or 20 years, he'll know.
We see Sheldon and Mom and everyone starts to greet them. I wolf-whistle as a gag, to which Mom glares and Sheldon just looks confused. I smile back at Mom. I've gotten what I wanted. CeCe starts crying, in response to which Sheldon turns to Mom and says, "Look, mother, more babies."
When we get home, Sheldon says, "I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed."
Dad turns to Mom and asks, "You didn't tell him?"
"Tell me what?" Sheldon asks immediately.
"I thought you were going to tell him in the car," Mom responds.
"Well, he was grumpy in the car," Dad says.
"How do you think he was on the plane?" Mom retorts.
"I'll tell him," Missy volunteers.
"You stay out of this," Mom says, pointing at Missy.
"Tell me what?" Sheldon repeats himself, something he hates doing.
"Oh, for god's sake, me and Georgie and the baby have been staying in your room," Mandy says, setting the baby carrier down.
"Oh, that makes sense. I was out of town, there was a tornado, you needed a place to live," Sheldon states.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I mutter to myself, earning a glare from Mom. "I'll say it louder next time," I say defiantly. She chooses not to address me now.
"So you're okay with it?" Georgie asks Sheldon.
"Oh, no, I'm home now. Get out," Sheldon says, like it's that easy.
"Are you f-" I ask, before I'm interrupted by Mandy saying, "No."
"Hey, I'll handle this," Dad says, before turning to Sheldon. "You heard her, son. She's not leaving."
"But it's my room," Sheldon argues.
"And it's my house," Dad says.
"Our house," Mom corrects.
"And it's my precious time I'm wasting watching this conversation be had," I say, earning a glare from both my parents. I shrug. "We were all thinkin' it, I said it." Georgie nods in agreement.
"Why can't they stay in the garage?" Sheldon asks, disregarding my derailment.
"Why can't you stay in the garage?" Missy retorts.
"I'm not a car nor am I a box of Christmas ornaments," Sheldon says, thinking he's being funny.
"Sheldon, you're not making a baby sleep in the garage," I say. The first thing I say during this conversation that doesn't earn me a glare.
"You know what, why don't we save this conversation for tomorrow, figure it out then? Sheldon, go ahead and sleep on the couch." Dad says, clearly thinking he has solved this issue. I know Sheldon won't.
Sheldon surprisingly agrees to this.
Later that night, I hear CeCe beginning to fuss again. I groan. Again. "Yeah, that's what they do, Callie," I mutter to myself. "Think about that. Babies cry and they keep you up at night."
I hear a knock on what I assume to be Sheldon's door. It opens, and I hear Sheldon say, "Your baby's crying." This is followed by a response from Mandy saying, "You really are a genius." The door closes.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I add through my door. It's loud enough for Sheldon to hear, as I promised.
"Be quiet, Charlotte," Sheldon retorts, earning a laugh from me.
I hear him step away.
In the morning, I'm already dressed for band rehearsal, my guitar strapped to my back. "Bye," I say, heading out the door.
"Wait," Mom says.
"I'd rather not, but thank you for the offer," I say, heading out the door. She should know by now I'm not into anything she has to say. She's usually lecturing me on things I already know are wrong to her and don't care about.
I get into my car and start driving.
Okay, I lied. The reason I couldn't wait for my mother to speak isn't because I'm some cool, rebellious daughter, even though I am.
It's because, well, I have somewhere to be.
After about an hour of driving, I pull into the parking lot of Houston Obstetrics and Gynecology.