"Rick Grimes is joining the Commonwealth Guard?"
Mercer was in his office when the question came.
He was at the CG, pouring over the Randall Boyd file for what felt like the millionth time. He was engrossed in it, had been for most of the morning, between briefings and meetings, taking whatever moment he could to review what they had, intent on going over every single details again to ensure he hadn't missed anything when the voice spoke from his open doorway.
Mercer looked up to the man who had spoken and sighed. Colonel Gavin Singh was a tall lean man with thick jet back hair and an even thicker mustache that stood out against his deep tan skin. His eyes were dark and brooding, adding to the deep scowl on his face as he analyzed the list in his hands. And looked back at Mercer again.
"Rick Grimes is on this morning orientation schedule." he repeated unprompted. "That's got to be a mistake."
Mercer sat up this time and leaned back, eyeing the other man with disdain.
This wasn't the first time he had heard that question.
All morning the CG had been abuzz with the news that the infamous peace officer Rick Grimes would be joining their ranks.
Most of the officers were excited. Regardless of how quiet his life was now, Rick Grimes of Alexandria had become something of a legend around these parts. Only further heightened by tales of his stint with the CRM military. The younger recruits, some of which had come from what was once Alexandria, and the Kingdom and the Hilltop, loved the man and the legend. The story of a man who had built a community when the world was broken. The kind of legend that gave kids in this world something to aspire to and hold onto.
But some of the officers, like the good Colonel in his doorway couldn't stand men like Grimes. Because men like Grimes were dangerous and impulsive and didn't follow the rules. And to some of these officers, to men like the straight-laced Colonel Gavin Singh, in this world rules were not meant to be broken.
Mercer inhaled deeply as the other man scowled back at him. He really wasn't in the mood for this bullshit. Especially today.
"Rick Grimes can't join the Commonwealth Guard." The Colonel said finally. And this time Mercer could hear clearly the agitation in his voice.
"Why?" Mercer said simply, crossing his arms.
The crease between the Colonel's brows deepened. He moved then to close Mercer's door and step further into the office to give them some privacy.
"This isn't a good idea. Rick Grimes can be a hot head. He's erratic and stubborn and bucks at authority." Gavin Sign said each work pointedly, but there was a harshness to it that made Mercer sit up even taller. Maybe because he didn't appreciate that condescending tone that Colonel's used on him, or maybe because having spent the better part of his night rounding up suspects with the man. But Mercer now had a newfound respect for Rick Grimes; the man was erratic and stubborn and relentless as hell but he was a damn fine police who would stop at nothing to protect his family and the Commonwealth.
But apparently the Colonel didn't want to see it that way.
Mercer unfolded his arms before he replied, working to keep his tone as even as possible.
"He's also the man responsible for bringing down a murderous, duplicitous military responsible for killing thousands of innocent people. He's honest and intelligent and a good leader. He's good police and he has a stellar reputation as a Peace Officer and would be an asset to the Guard."
Singh shook his head, clearly unconvinced. "Men like Grimes…they're not followers. We need men who can protect and take orders."
No shit. Mercer wanted to say. Rick Grimes was no follower that was for sure, but now was not the time to dissect all that. He needed to control this thing and keep the naysayers at bay while they tried to find Boyd and figure this thing out. All while avoiding suspicion from whoever was targeting the Commonwealth.
Damn this was a mess!
He needed to nip this in the bud and quick.
"Colonel, the Governor wants Rick Grimes to join the guard. I want him to join the guard. Is that going to be a problem?"
Mercer let his words sink as he silently stared at the other man. There was an intensity to the air, a tension that somehow always seemed to creep up in interaction with the Colonel and his cronies.
It wasn't uncommon for Mercer to butt heads with some of the CG officers. Like Mercer, Gavin Singh was a career soldier, a former marine who had risen up through the ranks of the US military. And now he was smart and skilled, a highly decorated Colonel in the Commonwealth Guard. But he also had some pretty strong beliefs about who was and who wasn't CG material. And from the looks of it he didn't think Rick Grimes was it.
"Is that going to be a problem?" Mercer asked again when Singh didn't answer. And for a moment a the tense silence lingered. Because no matter what he had been in the marines, no matter how high up he was in the CG, Mercer was still the fucking Lt. Governor of the Commonwealth.
So despite the scowl on his face Gavin Singh averted his gaze and returned to the list in his hand.
"No, it won't be a problem." He said the words reluctantly, the annoyance in his voice barely hidden. Mercer saw the muscle tick in the other man's jaw but any protests Singh had he kept to himself as he analyzed the piece of paper in his hands before he spoke again.
"Mercer I know you and I don't always see eye to eye. But be careful with him. Men like Rick Grimes…they're leaders. And if they can't lead they can be dangerous."
Mercer didn't disagree with him. From what he had seen last night, Rick Grimes was a different breed altogether. But he didn't have time to think about all of that right now. Right now they had a suspect to hunt down, and fast.
"Well then, it's a good thing he'll be going on the run with you this afternoon. I can't think of a better way to keep an eye on our latest and most dangerous recruit."
This time the Colonel's displeasure was even more visible as his dark eyes widened in shock. The sudden knock-on Mercer's door came just as the Colonel was poised to protest. Mercer purposely ignored him as he called out to whoever was at the door to come in. He couldn't help but smile when he saw who it was.
"Ahh Rick, perfect timing. Please come in."
'So, who was the boy?'
Judith was at the kitchen island looking over her science project when Kelly sidled up to her and tapped on her shoulder and signed the question. For a second, she looked confused as Kelly just grinned back at her. After a moment Kelly puffed out an exasperated breath and raised her hands to sign again.
'The boy? From the exchange? Lydia said he was H-O-T-T. Is he your boyfriend?'
"Wait, Judith has a boyfriend?" Magna said from behind her where she was supposed to be at the stove working on the pasta and meatballs with Yumiko.
"Yeah, and he's crazy tall and insanely handsome. With thee most intense golden-brown eyes I have ever seen." Lydia all but squealed from where she was seated at the dining room table playing monopoly with RJ and Herschel and her boyfriend Elijah. Except none of them were playing. Her little brother was grinning like the village idiot clearly enjoying himself as the color rose in her cheeks with Judith's growing embarrassment.
Beside Lydia, Elijah raised an eyebrow in question at his girlfriend's wistful description before turning back to Judith, eagerly waiting for a response as well. Even ever calm Herschel had a strange look on his face as he just sat there waiting on Judith to respond.
Great!
Any other time Judith treasured moments like these with her family.
Growing up in Alexandria, it wasn't uncommon at any given time to be sharing a space with people they called family. Her home was where her family was and, in the apocalypse, there was always safety in numbers. So, growing up in a house filled with people was what she knew. This was what she knew. And she usually loved it. But not on days like today when everyone was all up in her business.
Man, she could kill Lydia right now!
She glared at the other woman who sheepishly smiled an apology back at her.
Judith took a deep breath. "Connor is not my boyfriend."
'Oh Connor, I like that name' Kelly signed and Judith about rolled her eyes.
"He's just a friend."
"But you love him..." RJ offered with a stupid grin and this time Judith did roll her eyes.
"Ok, enough with the twenty questions everyone, leave Judith alone. Kelly there's a salad with your name on it back here." Yumiko's voice rang out and reluctantly everyone went back to what they were doing. Kelly winked at her as she slid away and Yumiko came to stand next to Judith and spoke so only Judith could hear.
"Hey Kiddo, are you doing ok?" Yumiko said with that posh British lilt to her voice. "You had a rough day yesterday, Jude. We can leave, give you guys some space? Ezekiel got us a house not too far from here so we can stay close if that would be better for you."
Judith shook her head. "No, I'm good."
She liked having a house full, especially after yesterday, especially while her parents we still out. Her dad was supposed to be tied up with the Guard for the rest of the day. And her mom had gone off with Aunt Maggie to 'take care of somethings'. They had left Judith, RJ and Herschel in the capable hands of Lydia, Elijah, Kelly, Yumiko and Magna as well as the dozen or so CG guards posted around their house and neighborhood.
It was some serious overkill but secretly Judith loved to have their home bursting with family. It reminded her of the old days and made her feel safe knowing that they were all together. Knowing that people like Aunt Maggie and Uncle Aaron and Gabriel and the rest of them had her parent's back.
This, with the teasing she could handle. Hell, even walkers she could handle. She had been dealing with walkers her whole life. And she was good at it. She was good at most things. Except for one thing...
Judith rubbed at her forehead as she thought back to that morning and the Exchange and Conner.
She'd never considered herself to be one of those stupid love-struck teenagers who went gaga over a pretty face, but she just couldn't stop thinking about what he had said.
Judith, I like you.
"Have you heard from my mom?" Judith asked suddenly to distract herself. "She said she would be back as soon as she could." That was hours ago. And her mom and Aunt Maggie still weren't back yet.
Yumiko shook her head and smiled sheepishly. "No, I haven't sweetheart."
"Jude, you're mom's a badass." Magna appeared in front of them. "And she has Maggie with her who's just as badass. I'm sure they'll be home soon."
"And when they get back they'll be some amazing pasta and meatballs waiting on them." Yumiko smiled.
"And some amazing cheesecake from Anne's whenever Gracie gets here." Magna muttered. Gracie was supposed to be here at the house, joining them for dinner. Last time Judith had talked to her bestie had said she was in her way. But of course first she had to check in with Kaede. Which knowing Gracie meant she might be a while…
"She'll be here. She wanted to check in with her boyfriend before she stopped by."
Yumiko nodded. "Speaking of boyfriends…I'll tell everyone to lay off. But you know it's all love right?"
Judith nodded, understanding what she meant. She wasn't a fan of being the center of attention but she knew these people. Knew everything they said was out of genuine love, even if they could be annoying.
"And you know you can talk to any of us about any of that stuff right? I mean I know we're just your fuddy duddy old aunties but we're here for anything you need." And Judith was forever grateful for it. For the countless people who loved and cared for her and her brother. And who were always willing to step up.
And she would have said as much if the door hadn't suddenly bust open.
"Finally!" Magna voiced when Judith walked through the door, grinning from ear to ear with a cheesecake in her hands.
"I know, I know. Sorry, sorry!" Gracie breezed in with a wider than usual smile. She scanned the room until her eyes landed on Judith where she was seated at the Kitchen counter. And somehow her grin grew even wider and she winked.
What?
Judith frowned at her friend, raising an eyebrow in silent question as she walked into the house. It was then that Judith saw that someone was with Judith, walking behind her into the living room.
"Sorry I'm late everyone." Gracie positively beamed as she her companion walked into the house in clear view of everyone and Judith froze when she saw who it was. "Everyone, this is Judith's friend's Connor. I thought it would be nice if he joined us for dinner tonight."
Michonne was laying in the dark again.
She couldn't breathe.
She was trying but she couldn't catch her breath through the screams and the darkness and the smoke. Smoke from a burning bridge, washing away into the water, burning everything and washing away the man she loved.
Rick!
She was at that bridge again, screaming through the tears, feeling her heart break into a million pieces. But this time it wasn't just Rick, this time the flames and the fire were burning her, burning her babies, Judith and RJ. She watched as they called for her and their sweet little faces faded away into the fire and the night as she sobbed and screamed out their names.
"Michonne! Michonne!"
Strong, firms hands shook her awake as someone called her name.
"Michonne wake up!"
Michonne opened her eyes and practically gasped for air. At first she couldn't see anything, couldn't make out anything but shadows where she lay on the floor fighting for her life.
And someone was patting her on the back, hard.
"Breathe Michonne, breathe." She heard the voice say as she turned to her side and gulped for air and struggled to breathe.
"Breathe."
And Michonne did just that. She twisted her body and coughed and sputtered as the hands patting her back turned gentle, stroking her back as she struggled to her catch her breath.
"There you go, that's it." Maggie's voice came to her loud and clear from above her as she rubbed at her back, helping soothe her coughs away as Michonne struggled to sit up. "Careful." She heard Maggie say as Michonne pushed herself to sit up and lean back against a nearby wall, taking deep long breaths as Maggie and the basement finally started to come into view.
Then she remembered.
No!
Michonne's gaze flew to the stairs just above her, to the now closed door.
No! No! No! This couldn't be happening! Was all she could think as she struggled to stand.
"Michonne, stop." Maggie's voice seemed to come from far away as Michonne wobbled to the foot of the old rickety stairs. But she didn't stop, couldn't stop until she reached the top and the closed door. Before she knew it was banging on the door, hitting it with all her might as she felt her heart race.
"Michonne stop, you're hurting yourself." Maggie was next to her suddenly. In the back of her mind she knew the other woman was right. The door was hard, metal even, and the way she was pounding on it made her fists hurt. But she couldn't stop. They had to get out of there.
"Let us out of here!" She screamed the words, even as she felt the panic rise, travelling through every bone in her body. "Let us out!" She yelled out hoarsely, breathlessly.
"…Michonne!"
"Let us-" The last words died on a cough. Then another and another as she tried to breathe and failed. Then came that all to familiar burning in her lungs, a gift from her year spent trapped in a mall thanks to the CRM and their chemical bombs. A reminder that came when she exerted herself and was having trouble catching her breath. Most of the time she knew how to control it and calm herself; knew how to decrease the panic and stop the burn. But now wasn't one of those times. She was hacking continuously now, stuck in the throes of a coughing fit that had her clutching at the railing and falling to her knees. She was still coughing when Maggie wrapped an arm around shoulders and gently guided her back down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs Michonne leaned back and slid down against the wall feeling exhausted. In front of her Maggie was crouching down and pulling out a flask.
"Drink." Michonne heard between coughs.
She took the bottle and took a sip, and took another and another much larger swig, grateful for the cool rush of rush of water that work to finally calm her coughing fit. Michonne handed the bottle back and let her head rest in her hands as her cough died down and just tried to breathe.
Her head hurt from coughing so hard and everything felt fuzzy but she needed to get up. But she couldn't.
Why was it so damn hard to breathe?
It would be several minutes as she just sat there and tried to calm down.
"Better?" Maggie's voice came at her through the confusion. It helped her to focus and helped to push the panic away. Michonne rested her head against the wall again finally feeling herself start to return to normal and think more clearly. She opened to eyes to the site of Maggie crouched down across from her, watching her intently. Michonne saw a strange unreadable expression pass across her face before it changed to one of concern.
"I'm good." She said finally, recognizing the worry on Maggie's face. "What happened?" She asked and whipped her head around and tried to remember how they ended up here. Everything felt strange…Foggy.
"You blacked out." Maggie said simply.
Michonne furrowed her brow, clearly confused. In turn Maggie nodded upwards towards the old rickety wooden staircase. "Little miss innocent turned out to not be so innocent after all." Maggie scoffed as she took a seat across from her, dusting her hands off as she sat back. "Emmie pushed you down the stairs. She locked us down here. I heard her leave the house a while ago." She said as she eyed the staircase. In that moment Michonne remembered, remembered the CRM flag and being pushed and falling and hitting Maggie as they crashed to the floor together. And suddenly she couldn't breathe again.
"Dammit, Michonne breathe." Maggie was at her side again, rubbing her back as she urging her to breathe. Michonne shook her head against the wave of dizziness that assailed her as she breathed, in and out, in and out. Breathe.
"That's it…" it took a while but eventually she leveled out her breathing again and when her vision cleared she saw the dark bruise on Maggie forearm.
"You're arm..." Michonne reached for Maggie's arm seeing the damage. "You braced my fall..." Michonne remembered in that moment, remembered falling into Maggie and Maggie taking the brunt of the fall. "Dammit, I should have known…with Emmie I should have seen.." she was pissed, pissed at this situation, pissed at herself, for believing Emmie and letting her guard down and for being so so stupid… "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I let my guard down. Are you good? Are you ok?"
"I've had worse." Maggie said, even as she moved her arm and winced before eyeing Michonne. Michonne let her eyes flit away as she eyed the basement, her eyes shifting from the stairs to the locked door and above to the walls. Looking for a window, an opening, anything... " Already checked." Maggie answered the unspoken question. "The door's sealed shut and there's no other way out."
Michonne felt her stomach drop. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be trapped down here. They had to get out of here. Rick would lose it if she didn't make it home. And the kids...
"There has to be a way out of here." She said more to herself as her eyes scanned the surroundings again and again, as Maggie watched her quietly.
And for a moment Maggie looked away, dusting her arm as she eyed their surroundings too, looking anywhere but at Michonne. It took a second but eventually she returned her gaze to Michonne, staring at her unabashedly this time. Michonne met her gaze head-on and saw the strange expression pass across her face again, like she was mulling over something. Maggie sighed like she had come to a reluctant conclusion before she spoke up.
"Are you ok?...is the baby?"
Maggie said the words as she pointedly stared at where Michonne was unintentionally rubbing a calming hand over her flat stomach.
Michonne froze.
And her hand stilled over her stomach.
And for a moment she just stared at Maggie.
The silence was loud, and filled the space between as they just wordlessly sat there staring at each other for what felt like forever.
"…How did you know?" The words were barely a whisper when Michonne finally spoke. Across from her Maggie seemed almost...relieved.
"I didn't." She confessed. "When I heard about what happened on that field trip, when Rick told me about how you passed out from the fight...all I could think about was how you're one of the strongest people I know. And how in all the years we've known each other I've only ever seen you like that once before. At the bridge…the day Rick died."
The day that Rick died…
Michonne hated that she remembered that day like it was yesterday.
She remembered the fire and the flames and the smells of burning flesh. She remembered sinking to her knees in the dirt as Maggie and Carol held her back as she screamed into the sky and wept.
Back then she didn't remember blacking out.
She had woken up in an infirmary at Alexandria surrounded by the concerned faces of her family and friends, and the news that she was pregnant. For hours after she had heard the news she had just lay there, alone in that bed, curled up in a ball and wept. Wept until there was nothing left and even then she couldn't stop crying. And the days that immediately followed that moment had been the darkest of her life.
Michonne rubbed at her chest, willing the painful memory of that time away.
It had taken her forever to claw her way out of that darkness. And now it just felt it was all coming back…
"I don't know that I am." Michonne tried to say. Except she did know. She didn't know how but she just knew.
"But Rick doesn't know..." Maggie said the words almost accusingly, and Michonne felt something akin to anger start to tingle under her skin.
"I'm not hiding it from him." She defended.
"I'm not saying…"Maggie started then stopped abruptly and raised her hands in mock surrender. "I know what PTSD looks like. The fear, the panic attacks…I remember the day that Glenn died. I Hate that I remember it sometimes like it was yesterday. For a long time after it was all I could think or dream about. That and every minute that led up to that moment. Everything that happened that day, every instance was a constant reminder of one of the worst days of my life. I can't imagine what was like for you finding out you that day. Losing Rick and finding out you were pregnant…suffering something like that on what should be one of the happiest day of your life. I can't even imagine…"
Michonne looked away as Maggie continued.
This should be a happy time for her.
She wanted this baby. Hell she wanted a thousand babies with that man and always would. But something happened to her when she thought of the last time she was pregnant. How lost and alone and depressed she had been in the days following the bridge. Back then she hadn't known if she could do this without Rick, if she could bear to carry on without him. The dark blanket of depression had cloaked her, shadowing everything she did. And all she could think about is how utterly and absolutely alone she had been.
"You have to tell him Michonne. You can't just be out here like this…taking risks, getting hurt. There are people that care about you that want to be there for you now, the same way they were back then."
Michonne heard the words and the anger that had started to tingling under her skin seemed to spark anew.
"But you left."
She uttered the words before she could stop herself. They came out harsher and angrier than she expected, but she was just as surprised as Maggie was that she said it out loud.
"What?" Maggie frowned, utterly confused. Michonne steeled herself and continued.
"You left." She repeated, louder. "That's what I remember. After everything, after I saw Rick explode on that bridge, in one the darkest moments in my life you weren't there."
Her chest was heaving after she said the words, like a 100lb weight had been lifted off of her.
She'd never planned to say those words, had never let herself put words to her hurt and was just as shocked as Maggie was that she had finally said it. But she couldn't take it back now so she continued on.
"I was so lost back then. And I thought…you were my friend…and suddenly you weren't there." Her voice cracked, and for a whole minute they just sat there in the heaviness of that moment. Until Maggie inhaled a deep, shaky breath.
"I couldn't do it." She said quietly as she held Michonne's gaze. "I couldn't be there, couldn't look you in the eye after the Bridge." She looked away as she continued. "Back at then, back at the prison, you saved Glenn and me. If you hadn't found the prison, if you hadn't come for us we would have died there in Woodbury. You rescued us, you were my friend…my family. But Rick was out there that day because of me. You lost the father of your children because of me. I-I just couldn't look at you after that Michonne. I couldn't do it…" As she spoke, a stream of silent tears formed a pathway down the sides of her face.
And it hurt.
It hurt Michonne to see her like this, utterly shaken to the core, knowing they had both been carrying this for all these years. Michonne didn't think as she moved to scoot closer to Maggie, to pull her hands into hers tightly and forced her to look at her.
"Maggie listen to me. I. don't. blame. you. Rick doesn't blame you. It wasn't your fault." Michonne was sniffing as she felt her own tears fall. But Maggie just shook her head.
"I'm so so sorry. For not being able to be there for you…for Rick…for everything." Maggie said softly through her tears. Michonne clutched her tighter.
"We both suffered enough." Michonne told her. "Don't disappear on me again. Rick needs you. I need you. You're my family." And because she was her family Michonne hugged her and silently cried.
And Maggie hugged her back and silently cried.
They stayed like that and Michonne felt that heaviness that had settled between them for so long start to break away.
"You're having a baby." Maggie whispered and through the tears Michonne actually chuckled.
"I'm having a baby." Michonne laughed nervously as Maggie gave her a quick squeeze. "I have to tell Rick." She said with sudden realization as Maggie pulled back from their hug.
"You will." Maggie repeated with a nod of her head.
"And the CRM are here." Michonne thought of the flag and Emmie and Randall Boyd as she looked around the space and spotted her Katana where it lay on the dusty basement floor. "Come on, we have to find a way out of here." She had to find Rick, she had to warn him that the CRM was here in the Commonwealth. And as long as they were here her family's lives were in grave danger.
Rick grunted as he sunk his blade into the last of the walkers and watched it fall to the ground.
He stepped back and eyed the countless walkers he had killed on the South Wall of the Commonwealth. His chest heaved as he eyed the carnage, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins from the exertion of taking out walkers on the wall. It felt good to hit something, to kill these things and take out some of the frustration he had been harboring most of the night out on the undead. But the fact still remained, he shouldn't be here.
He was at some advanced tactical training exercise with the Commonwealth Guard. A requirement of his 'training'. It was bullshit, that he was out here in the middle of nowhere taking out walkers when he should be back at the Commonwealth, working to hunt down Randall Boyd. Mercer had assured him he had everything under control, that he would continue the search with the team. But they needed to keep up appearances if they had any chance of finding out who was destroying their borders. Rick knew the other man was right, but that didn't stop him from being frustrated with the situation. He felt useless being out here when he should be back there, doing something to protect his family.
Rick's chest was still heaving as he surveyed his surroundings eyeing the other soldiers and recruits working to take out their own walkers. This late in the afternoon the heat was taxing and Rick could feel the sweat trickle down his back as he watched the members of the Commonwealth guard finish of their smaller pile of kills. An odd sense of Déjà vu came over him as the site of the black Commonwealth Fatigues and the countless walkers as they finally finished up.
Thank fuck!
"Wrap it up!" He heard one of the officer's overseeing their training say as they walked the wall amongst the recruits. "Good job Grimes." The officer eyed him, shooting an impressed eye at Rick's pile of Walkers. "Impressive." Rick nodded imperceptibly as he lowered his weapon and brushed the sweat from his brow.
"Very impressive." Rick turned to the man who had spoken, a tall brooding man with tanned skin and jet black hair.
Colonel Gavin Singh had been eyeing Rick skeptically since that moment in Mercer's office. Rick knew the type, staunch career military man, distrustful of anything and anyone who was not. He had been watching Rick all afternoon, eyeing closely him under the guise of this orientation training. "Wrap it up!" The Colonel repeated, signaling then end of hours spent walking the wall and felling the dead. Rick had been officially moved to this exercise given his extensive background with law enforcement and the military. At least that was the tale Mercer had woven. "Grimes you ride with me." The Colonel said as he passed behind Rick, eyeing the piles of the dead lodged at Rick's feet.
Great.
Rick didn't say a word as he put up his weapons and cleaned himself up before making his way to the Colonel's vehicle, an older model black utility jeep. Rick didn't see any other Guard officers around as he climbed in the passenger's seat beside the Colonel and they drove off back towards town.
"You fight well." Singh said after several minutes of awkward silence that Rick barely acknowledged as he stared out the window, thinking of his next steps and how he would need to take to find Randall Boyd. It took a second for Rick to register what he had said.
"I have some experience." Was all Rick managed as he continued to stare out at the passing trees.
"I would say you have more than some. Sheriff at King County, Georgia, Sargent Major in the CRM, not to mention the communities you built and your leadership of the Commonwealth post once known as Alexandria."
Rick turned and looked at him then. "I'm no one's leader." He said through gritted teeth. Singh eyed him once and nodded his head.
"Except I have scours of people who would say different. You saved people, and people remember that. Which begs the question why someone like you, with all your experience would choose a life in the shadows. Peace officer in the Commonwealth, a nobody with no army and no power."
At those words Rick glared at the other man. He really didn't have time for this shit or the Colonel's thinly veiled insults.
"I like my life as a Peace Officer. I'm good." Rick returned his gaze to the passing landscape as they headed back.
"No you don't." Singh said confidently. "I see it in your eyes Rick Grimes, the strength…the power…You could be so great. You could help heal the world and bring it all back." Rick wasn't listening as he stared out at the changing landscape as in the distance the sun began to set in the afternoon sky. He knew this place, knew the way back to the city, and this wasn't it. "You could have helped us Rick Grimes." He heard Singh say as he frowned at the changing scenery. "You could have been a part of this. But instead you came in like a cancer and infected a great place, a great man, and tried to destroy it. But an idea is like a weed, you pluck one out and in its place another grows taller and stronger until there are enough weeds to choke you in the dirt."
And it was then that the Colonel's words finally sunk in and hit him like a bulls eye. And as Rick reached for his hatchet and turned in his face to see the Colonel, the last thing he saw was the muzzle of Colonel Singh's gun pointed right at him.
It would be more than an hour later as when Michael Mercer was seated in his office at the CG, reviewing the files on his desk when his office door all but flew open. His eyes were wide as he stared at the man who had bust into his office, looking feral as hell, covered head to toe in dirt and sweat, with angry gashes on his arm and forehead, caked in dirt and dried blood.
He started to get up as the man approached his desk in a huff.
"…Rick?" Mercer eyed him as he approached, noting his hands stained in blood and dirt.
Shit! He looked like a madman stalking into his office like that. What the…
"Rick, what happened?" He managed in disbelief as Rick finally reached him and Mercer was able to assess the cuts and scrapes.
Rick inhaled, barely restraining his anger as he growled, "Colonel Gavin Singh just tried to kill me."
"So let me get this straight, you're a senior?" Magna asked, her voice blatantly skeptical.
"So what, Jude's a sophomore." Gracie interjected, as she wolfed down a mouthful of salad. "He's only two years older."
"And possession is 9/10ths of the law but that doesn't change the fact that stealing is stealing. And that Connor is a senior." Yumiko piped up from somewhere across the table.
Judith listened to the conversation going on around her as she bowed her head, pushing her food around her plate and wishing the ground would hurry up and swallow her up already! They were seated at the dining table, all of them crowded together on makeshift dining room chairs; Magna, Yumiko, Elijah, Lydia, Kelly, Herschel, RJ with Gracie and Conner seated on either side of her eating spaghetti and meatballs in her house.
Judith wanted to scream.
She couldn't believe this was happening.
Everything had happened so fast. One minute she was at the kitchen island looking over her science project as her aunts mulled about the kitchen making dinner. And next thing she knew her bestie was popping up with the guy she was crushing on! Earlier when she had run into him at the Exchange she had been surprised but…pleased. The fact that Conner liked her and wanted to spend time with her was surprising but she liked it she decided…liked him. She just didn't expect him to show up at her house.
Damnit Gracie!
Now here she was, listening as Connor was subjected to a game of twenty questions from the women at the table. While Elijah and looked on slightly bored and RJ seemed more focused on inhaling the last of the meatballs. Herschel's expression was unreadable all together as he focused on his food.
But Judith couldn't focus on any of that. She could feel herself turn red as the conversation continued around her. She loved her family to death but they could be a lot.
Judith heard the accusatory tone in Magna's voice and bowled her head, concentrating on pushing her food around her plate again as Gracie said something about 21st century women and girls brains maturing earlier than boys.
"Hey, are you ok?" Connor spoke softly as he leaned into her, startling Judith. He was a cute guy and knowing he was this close to her set her face aflame.
"Sorry about all this." She half whispered, to which Connor simply smiled just as Magna piped up.
"So what exactly are your intentions to our niece, Connor?" Magna sat forward with her signature scowl on her pretty face. Magna was easily one of her favorite family but she could also be scary as all hell when she gave you that look.
"Kill me now." Judith muttered. As was taken aback by Connor's resulting easy handsome smile.
"Umm I like Judith." Connor said easily to the table full of people. "I like being around her and I like how I feel when I'm with her. She's cool, and kind, even in the face of some of the meanest kids in school. She loves people and is always looking for ways to grow and build and make people's lives better. She loves Aquaponics and she's the smartest person I know. And I just want to get to know her better."
Judith exhaled deeply at those words.
Around her the table was quiet. Across from her Kelly smiled and signed, 'Cute!',
as a grin spread across Yumiko's face and even Magna's scowl let up a little. Next to her Gracie was cheesing as she clutched at her chest and made the universal sign for swooning.
Judith rolled her eyes and tried and failed to hide the grin on her face at Connor's words. It disappeared quickly when she saw the narrowed gaze Magna was giving her. But she couldn't stifle the way Connor's words made her feel.
Judith was loved.
She had more love than most people had in a lifetime. And had been treasured and cared for by so many since she was a baby, some of who were long gone and had risked their lives so that she could a future. Her dad, her mom, all the people here had given so much so that she could live and she felt the love of each and every one of them every day. But there was something intoxicating and almost freeing about having someone, a stranger, see beyond her as a sister or daughter and like her for her.
Judith stole a smile at Connor who simply winked back. And just as the silence was starting to turning awkward RJ spoke up with a mouth full of spaghetti.
"Aunt Yumiko, didn't you say something about cheesecake when I was done with my plate?" Her brother looked like a cartoon character with his mouth full of food as he worried about desert. The site elicited a chuckle from the table and another and another as Yumiko just smiled and confirmed that their indeed was some desert for him. Judith shook her head and giggled too as dinner continued on minus the twenty questions. Connor's little declaration seemed to have quelled the table for now as dinner continued on.
They laughed and they joked over cake and Judith tried not to think about how late it was getting and that neither her mom or dad were back yet. The grown-ups had told her not to worry. Her mom and dad knew how to take care of themselves better than anyone. But that didn't stop this nagging feeling that they were out there, needing her help. She tried hard to shake the feeling, concentrating instead on her devilishly handsome dinner guest, who was not only funny but helped clear the table and do the dishes.
It would be later as they were finishing the dishes that Yumiko called an end to the evening; the dinner swell had quietened down while Elijah and Lydia were making up the den since it looked like they would be spending the night. Kelly, Gracie and the boys were upstairs in RJ's room, something about an antique Nintendo game console Kelly had proffered at a store in the Commonwealth, when Yumiko spoke.
"Thanks for helping with the dishes Jude. Magna and I are headed to the den. It's getting cool out, why don't you go grab a jacket and take a few minutes to walk Connor out." That was Yumiko speak for it was time for Connor to get on out of here and head home. But not before she had a word.
"Umm…sure. I'll be right back." Judith nodded shyly and reluctantly made her way upstairs to find a light jacket for the cooling evening air.
Yumiko watched as Judith went up the staircase, stealing not so subtle glances down until she disappeared from site.
It was a moment after Judith disappeared that she turned to the young man. Connor seemed pleasant enough, he was a good looking, gorgeous with an infectious smile and intense eyes. He was a cutie but good looks and charm weren't enough for Yumiko, or Magna, who at present was leaning against the sink, arms folded as she eyeballed the poor kid.
"Look, Connor, I realize you don't know me-us," she said, waving a hand between her and Magna, "and you seem like a nice kid and all…but Judith…she's special…"
"What she means is don't fuck with our niece." Magna cut in harshly. Yumiko grimaced and Magna simply shrugged. She had been about to say the same thing just…nicer. If the young man was freaked out he didn't show it. He simply nodded and looked quite serious as he eyed Magna then Yumiko in turn.
"I have no intention of hurting Judith, ma'am."
"Ma'am?" The look of consternation of Magna's face was hilarious as she repeated the word. And Yumiko had to stifle a laugh.
"Well, that's good to know. Let's keep it that way shall we. Babe, let's give these kids some space." She said as she walked up to Magna and took her hand, leading her away to the den, even as Magna stared daggers at the young man.
He inhaled sharply as the women walked away leaving him alone in the spotless kitchen, finally alone.
Not for the first time he was assailed by the essence of this place.
Home.
It felt and smelled like a real life home…Not the makeshift homesteads many had been forced to take shelter in. Or the remnants left behind in a world ravaged by biters. But a real life home; filled with warmth and love and joy. In this home, in this place, it was as the time before the turn, seemingly untouched by the dead and living. In this place, these people, all from different walks of life had come together to create this thing, in this world of darkness, in this house they actually felt…safe.
Astonishing.
Being here, in this place filled with hints of the one thing he had been hunting forever, felt overwhelming, like the hit of a drug. So so very close yet not close enough.
But soon…very soon it would be his.
He inhaled a deep shaky breath and shut his eyes for just a moment to steady himself against the feel of being in this place.
Then he was moving.
He eyed the kitchen, tracing his hand along the countertops with open curiosity, circling the nooks and crannies, the Knick knacks that showed that this was a place well lived in. A leftover plate of cookies, report card on the fridge, and these pictures…
He stopped, spotting one in particular and reached down to retrieve.
A picture perfect family portrait of them.
Rick Grimes, with his arm around her…the wife, with their children perched in front of her on what looked like the first day of school. The wife…Michonne…she had her arms around the children as she leaned into her husband lovingly. And they all smiled; pure, unabashed smiles. Eyes bright, all teeth, squeezing each other like they could never let go. Like they truly believed that this kind of love could never ever disappear. Like loss and death and darkness and despair wouldn't come for them all the way it came for him. That they truly the believed they could walk this life, and cause carnage and death and still believe they got to back to this.
He was staring hard at the photo, trying hard to breath and exhale and calm himself as he felt the rage building, feeling the delicate weight of the photo paper begin to crumple under the pressure of his fingers as he unknowingly squeezed, crumpling the edges of the photograph. So that he didn't hear anyone enter the kitchen until they were right there in front of him, eyeing his hand on the picture with a deep confused frown before looking up at him, right before RJ Grimes asked him, "Hey, what are you doing with that picture?"