So the remainder of this story is going to be a retelling of Season 1, with the inclusion of Vynn along with other changes made from his inclusion, I was originally going to make it so it rewrote the season entirely from his point of view, but that would cut out a lot of great moments. This one might not be very different, but I'm sure his presence will have more noticeable changes in the future.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hazbin Hotel
Once Upon A Time, there was a glowing city, protected by golden gates, known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels, who worshiped good and shielded all from evil. Lucifer was one of these angels, he was a dreamer, with fantastical ideas for all of creation, but he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven, for they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world, so he watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of the universe, they created Adam and Lilith, equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to submit to his will, she fled the garden. Drawn in by her fierce independence, Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse, for with this single act, disobedience and evil finally found its way into Earth, with it, a new realm of darkness and sin, and the order that Heaven had worked to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created, never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream, but Lilith thrived, empowering demon kind with her voice and her songs, and as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision, that every year, they would send down an army, an extermination, to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilith's hope remained, and her dream was passed down to their precious daughter, the princess of Hell.
Charlie closed the book and took the small key in her hand, looking out over Hell.
"Don't worry mom, I'll make you proud."
"Charlie…"
Not expecting her girlfriend, Vaggie, behind her, Charlie was caught off guard. The key turned into Charlie's pet, KeeKee.
"UGH, oh shit, did you hear all that?"
"Uh yeah, I was right there."
"Sorry, I get pretty worked up after an extermination happens…the story helps."
Vaggie let out a cute little chuckle.
"I know, don't worry, I enjoy your theatrics, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, just…thinking…you know, family stuff."
"Did you hear from your mom yet?"
Charlie couldn't even say no, she only shook her head.
"Oof, how long has it been now?"
"Not that long, only…seven…years off, doing something important, I'm sure, but this kingdom was something she really cared about…something I care about."
"Well, at least you aren't alone." said Vaggie, giving her girlfriend some reassurance.
"I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work."
"It will, I have faith in you."
The girls smiled as KeeKee jumped up into Charlie's arms.
"Alright, come on, Alastor said he has something to show us."
With that, Vaggie walked out the room. In the parlour of the Hazbin Hotel, Alastor stood by the television. Vynn set some plates on the table with some snacks he had prepared. Vaggie came down with Charlie.
"Glad you girls could make it." said Vynn
"Of course we could, so, Alastor, what is it you wanted to show us?"
"Well, a couple days ago, Charlie here asked me to make an advertisement for the hotel. I was honestly rather excited, until she specified a television advertisement, but I said I'd do it and it's finally done. I wanted to see what everyone thought before I sent it to the TV station."
Charlie let out a gasp.
"YES! This is so exciting!"
Alastor tapped his cane on the ground and a green electrical surge went from Alastor to the TV, turning it on to the commercial, opening on a shot of a demon stabbing another demon.
"Well, hello there, you wayward sinner, do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? OF COURSE YOU DO, that's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had NONE of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel…"
The screen now showed a picture of the hotel, complete with the makeshift radio station that Alastor had installed shortly after he came.
"...A misguided path to redemption, founded 5 days ago by Lucifer's DELUSIONAL daughter, Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here we offer FUN THINGS, such as…"
The camera showed Husk at the bar, before passing out and falling face first onto the counter.
"...Somewhat functional staff…"
Niffty came by, chasing a bug through the lobby.
"...and 24 Hour Pest Control…"
The camera changed to a shot of the hallways, with one of the room doors opening and a sexy looking mummy demon girl leaving and waving goodbye to Vynn, as he smiled in the doorway smoking a joint.
"...Custom Rooms, and just look at this tacky parlour!"
The camera showed the parlour, where Angel Dust was rubbing his fingers when a wooden beam fell from the ceiling and scared off KeeKee.
"...and enjoy riveting conversations with our wide range of residents!"
The camera changed to showing Vynn and Angel Dust playing a video game together.
"WOW! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel, your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!"
Alastor turned off the TV.
"So, what do you think?"
"I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?" asked Vaggie
"Uh yeah, one note Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this, seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit…off. We want people to want to come here, this makes it look, um…" said Charlie, trying to find the right word to not hurt Alastor's feelings.
"Bad, the word you're looking for is bad." said Vaggie, not caring about hurting Alastor's feelings.
"Funny, I was going for hilarious." said Alastor
"It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point, and Vynn, who was that girl you brought back to the hotel, how'd you even bring her here without anyone noticing?"
"I thought the hotel was empty, everyone was supposed to be out."
"You mean when we were handing out flyers?"
"Uh, back on the topic at hand, Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them." said Charlie
"Well my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself, but you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement, so I had a little fun with it." explained Alastor
"Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? Well, this is not what we want to represent us, when you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel, instead you're mocking us. Nobody's going to want to come to a place that a powerful overlord, like you, thinks is a waste of time."
The conversation was interrupted by Angel Dust raising his hand.
"What?" asked Vaggie
"If you're filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?" asked Angel, gesturing to himself
"Angel, you're a PORN star."
"A FAMOUS porn star, I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in."
"We are not filming a porn as a commercial!"
"Why not? Sex sells, don't it?"
"It's sad that that's true." said Vynn
"I swear, if you film me going at it with Mr. Fancy-Talk-Creepy-Voice here, or even Mr. Blue-Boy, you'll be rolling in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."
"Haha, never going to happen." said Alastor
"I'm with static voice, Angel, you are aware I'm straight, right?" said Vynn
"That's what they all say."
"Um, Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your…special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but…I really don't want to exploit you…in that way." said Charlie
"Oh please, baby, this body was MADE to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, oh ho, I got the LEGS, the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits…"
"You've also got the drug addiction, the ego and the natural talent for getting on people's NERVES!" said Vynn, plucking a hair from Angel's chest.
"OW! You fucker! And I'm not the only one on drugs, you hypocrite."
"Hey, I'm only smoking weed here, no real harm."
Vynn pulled out a joint and a match, when Vaggie's spear took the joint out of his hand.
"Now that's just rude."
The conversation was interrupted by, what sounded like, circus music. It turned out to be Charlie's ringtone, her dad was calling.
"Hold that thought, I'll be right back."
Charlie took her phone and walked away from the group to take the call.
"Hey, I have a question, if freaky-face over there is so powerful, why can't he just make people stay here?"
"Oh, trust me, I CAN!" said Alastor
"Why do you think I'm here…?"
The group turned to the bar, where Husk was standing.
"You actually think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me?" said Husk
"I like being forced." said Niffty, who appeared next to him
"Keep that to yourself, Niff." said Husk
"What? You don't love being here with me, Whiskers?" asked Angel, being as flirtatious with Husk as he usually was.
"Call me Whiskers again and I'll jam that bottle down your throat!"
"Kinky! C'mon, keep talkin' dirty!"
"Ugh, Angel, let Husk do his job, and no, we can't force sinners to stay, they need to choose to." said Vaggie
"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid. We're in hell, toots, that's kinda the end of the road, ain't it."
"Well maybe it doesn't have to be, just because no one's made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible."
"I'm with Vaggie, I think redemption is possible, it's why I'm here, I'm hoping to get into Heaven and see my little sister again." said Vynn
"Well, if you were such a loving big brother, you would have went to heaven with her."
"I accept there's a reason why I'm in Hell, can't say exactly why, maybe my way with the ladies was too lustful, maybe my love of marijuana, who's to say?"
"Well, I'm really just here since I don't have to pay rent, crack is expensive."
"So is pot. And I think you're doing well cutting down on the crack, your voice has cleared up really well."
"VAGGIEHOLYSHIT!" screamed an excited Charlie from around the corner.
"AGH, What?!"
Charlie signalled Vaggie to come to her to speak.
"What's going on?"
Charlie took a breath to ready herself for what she had to tell Vaggie.
"My dad just called, he said that the leader of the angel army wants to meet, he asked if I could go instead!" said Charlie, extremely fast and hyper. Grabbing her girlfriend by the shoulders and holding her close.
"But…but the extermination just happened, what could they want this soon after…"
Vaggie's sentence was interrupted when Charlie started to sing
I can do this! Somehow, I know it!
I'll get Heaven behind my plans!
"Charlie, hold on." said Vaggie
There's just no way
I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
"It's just a meeting."
To change their minds
And touch their hearts
Or…whatever angels have!
"This could be bad…"
Cheer up, Vaggie!
This could be swell!
Charlie took Vaggie's hands and started swinging in a circle.
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Charlie let go of Vaggie's hands and ran out the door.
"Okay, but just don't…sing to them."
Everyone else was already looking out the front door to the hotel.
"That bitch is halfway down the street!" said Angel
"Is she…?"
"Oh, she's dancin'."
"Ugh, no…" groaned Vaggie
Indeed, Charlie was dancing through the burning and bloodstained streets of Pentagram City, a smile on her face like she wasn't surrounded by sickening corpses and destruction.
There's a warm fuzzy feeling
That wafts through the air
Every street so revealing
It's hard not to stare!
It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell…
It's a happy day in Hell!
As Charlie passed through the streets, she spotted a demon on a bench reading the paper.
"Hi, mister."
The demon lowered the newspaper to show his bloodshot eyes and the crack pipe in his hand.
"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Deciding not to continue that conversation, Charlie continued to walk through the streets, when she passed more demons, a goat sinner looking out of the window of his burning apartment…
There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul!
"Hello." said Charlie
…an imp with a ball of barbed wire on the back of a sinner…
And a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole!
"Ah, excuse me…"
Charlie backed up into a large demon dressed as an executioner.
Doing what is required, we all have our role.
A lizard sinner with a dagger in his eye passed by.
I'm not doin' well!
A large group of demons joined in.
Another shitty day in Hell!
Charlie stood on top of a car to continue her song.
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed!
That any soul can change!
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Vaggie watched over the city from her crow's nest.
Those angels' minds are hard to change.
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange!
They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
I can hear all their stories
The lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell!
Charlie grabbed onto the back of a Helluva Post delivery van and was taken closer to her destination.
From the porn studio
Where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows!
To the Cannibal Town
Where they don't wear a frown 'cause…
Charlie's singing was interrupted by a small group of cannibals gnawing away at a corpse and some of the brains splattering into her eye.
"Holy Shit! Ew, my gosh! WHY?!"
And I don't give a crow that
His brains got in my eye!
Cause I know I can spare them
From Heaven's genocide!
I can do this, I just know it
(There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul!)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans!
There's just no way I could blow it
(I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
To change their minds…
The song was interrupted by a slug like demon in a trench coat flashing Charlie.
"And touch my parts!"
"Uh…no, thank you. I'm just gonna…"
Fulfil my destiny!
"Your loss, bitch!"
I can already tell!
Today is gonna be a fuckin' happy day in Hell!
Charlie entered the Heaven Embassy at the base of the Clock Tower, where she was set to meet with the leader of the angel army.
"Hello?"
No answer.
"Hello?...Hello? Creepy…"
Charlie walked up to the front desk. No one was there, only a small golden bell, which Charlie rang and a golden scroll and quill appeared, which Charlie signed.
"Okay, also creepy."
Once Charlie signed the scroll, it flew upwards and a door opened, which Charlie entered into a dark room.
"Uh, hello…anyone here?"
The lights turned on and, at the end of a table, sat the leader of the exorcist army, eating a plate of ribs with 2 exorcists behind him.
"Sup."
"Oh, shit."
Charlie was caught off guard and fell on the floor, but quickly got back up.
"Hi, um, I'm Charlie, my dad asked me if I could meet you."
"Yeah, I know."
"Okay, well…it's nice to meet you." said Charlie, holding out her hand for a handshake.
"Totally, nice to meet you too." said the exorcist leader, holding out his own hand.
Charlie went to shake his hand, but her hand went right through his.
"Ugh."
"HA! I fucking got you, did you fucking see that?" asked the exorcist leader, turning back to the two exorcists behind him, one nodded while the other pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "Good shit."
"Wait, so you aren't here?"
"Mmm, no, you think I'd come down there? Haha, I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes, pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong, but it's such a bummer, man, everything down there is just so bleugh, you know? Ew."
"Right, so I'm happy we got this opportunity to meet, there's a project I've been working on that I REALLY want to talk to you about…"
Charlie was interrupted by the exorcist leader shushing her.
"Hey, hey, hey, slow down, we got time. How about we get to know each other a little, hm? How 'bout some lunch? Ya hungry? I got you…here's my personal favourite, you'll love it." said the exorcist leader, holding out a plate of ribs.
"Uh, thanks."
Forgetting he was just a hologram, Charlie reached for the ribs and her hand passed right through them.
"Hahahahaha! I got you again, bitch! Hahahaha! Fucking hilarious!"
"Adam, now is not the time for jokes." said one of the exorcists
"Wow, way to spoil the mood, Marge!"
"Wait, did she say your name is Adam? As in…first man?"
"That's right! I fucking rock!"
Meanwhile, back at the hotel, everyone was gathered in the lobby while Vaggie stood to address them.
"Okay, so Charlie's dealing with something very important, so while she's gone, we are making a new commercial, one that represents her vision and what we're doing here, so we need a camera…Alastor…"
The radio demon snapped his fingers and an old fashioned polaroid appeared in Vaggie's hand.
"...A VIDEO camera!"
"Hm."
Alastor snapped his fingers again and the polaroid was replaced with a crappy looking camcorder.
"Alright, let's do this!"
Angel and Husk were at the bar as Vaggie started the camera. Husk was reading the script.
"And…action!"
Vaggie started the camera.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, can I help you with anything?" asked Husk, with the script right in front of his face.
"I've been a BAD boy, and I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place…" said Angel, leaning a bit too much into the pornstar side of himself, until he immediately dropped it to act more serious for a moment. "...On the path to redemption!"
Husk rolled his eyes, but kept going.
"Well, you've come…"
"OH YES!"
"...to the right place."
"CUT! Okay, Angel, I need you to be less…horny, if possible. And Husk, can you maybe not have the script in front of your face?" asked Vaggie
"I AIN'T NO ACTOR! I can't memorize this shit."
"Well, we could improv this shit, baby cakes. Rawr." said a flirtatious Angel Dust, only for Husk to push him off the bar counter.
"Whoops."
"Husk, come on!"
Back at the Heaven Embassy, Charlie was getting annoyed listening to Adam's story of a one night stand he had. One of the exorcists behind him stood at attention, while the other pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.
"...So anyway, we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?"
"Look, Adam…sir…Mr. Adam, sir…" said Charlie
"Call me 'Dickmaster'!"
No way.
"Adam…I know you seem like a stand-up guy, and you're the leader of the exorcists and you're a big thinker, a revolutionary…a genius."
"Your words, babe!"
"And no one else's." said Marge, earning an elbow to the side from Lute.
"Who would love putting his name on something, the solution to our biggest problem!"
"Yeah, Herpes is a bitch."
That earned a facepalm from Marge.
"No, our OTHER biggest problem."
"Oh, ugly people? Math? Global Warming? No, that's Earth's problem…"
"Chauvinism?" asked Marge
"Don't be ridiculous, Marge." said Adam
Back at the hotel, Niffty and Vaggie were in a bedroom, Niffty was chasing a roach on the floor, trying to stab it with a sewing needle.
"Alright Niffty…Niffty…NIFFTY!"
Vaggie took Niffty by the shoulders to get her attention.
"Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms", okay?" asked Vaggie
"Got it, I'm ready."
"And…action."
Vaggie started the camera and Niffty completely froze, just staring into the camera and not saying a word. Angel Dust and Vynn looked on in confusion. Vynn stepped forward and poked Niffty in the shoulder and snapping his fingers in front of her eye to try to snap her out of whatever trance she was in, but no use.
"Uh…cut." said Vaggie
Once Vaggie stopped the recording, Niffty snapped out of it.
"Hehe, how was that?"
"Well Niffty, you actually have to say the line."
"Niffty, are you actually comfortable being in front of a camera?" asked Vynn
"Huh? Of course, why'd you ask?"
"Just making sure you're alright."
"Well then, let's try again."
"Okay."
"Action."
Vaggie started the camera again, only for Niffty to freeze once more.
"You're doing great, Vagina." whispered Angel
"CUT! Alright, ugh, maybe we can try and…fix it in post."
"Do you even know what that means?" asked Angel
"I'LL FIGURE IT OUT! C'mon Vynn."
Vynn followed Vaggie to the parlour, where she asked him to work on editing the commercial.
"Vaggie, I don't know how to edit."
"But how? You only died about 3 years ago, you were surrounded by computers and online videos, everyone was editing and making content for internet clout."
"Not exactly, bigger content creators hired editors and animators that charged for their services, I had some online content of my own, but I actually had a friend do my editing."
"Ugh, fine, how much do editors charge?"
"Can vary from editor to editor, depending on what you're trying to achieve, some can even charge $50,000, and you'd be surprised what they can do with that much." said Vynn
"UGH!"
Vaggie sat back in a nearby chair and buried her face into her hands.
"Seems like you're having a little trouble there, hmm?" asked Alastor
Vynn fell out of his chair in shock and pulled out one of his switchblades, until he saw it was Alastor and put it back in his pocket.
"Ugh, este pendejo, why are you even here?"
"For the entertainment. I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly, like you are doing now. Good job!"
Vaggie, ticked off by Alastor's attitude and carefree insults, grabbed the camera and pointed it to Alastor.
"Uh, Vaggie…" Vynn tried to warn her.
"And here is Alastor, the egocentric piece of shit that…"
Vaggie got caught off, as she panned the camera up to Alastor's face, the camera started to glitch out and spark violently, causing Vaggie to drop the camera.
"AGH!"
"I tried to warn you." said Vynn
"I wouldn't try that, my dear. THIS FACE WAS MADE FOR RADIO!" said Alastor, his face distorting into his scary demon form.
"You do realize 'Face for Radio' means ugly, right?" asked Vynn, with a smirk
Vaggie had had it with Alastor's antics and marched up to him.
"That's It! I don't care who or what you are. If you're staying here, you're going to make this work, because it won't be so "Entertaining" to watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?"
"Fair enough. I'll tell you what, let's make a deal."
"Pfft! You think I'm that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you?"
"Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again."
Vaggie sat in her chair, pondering Alastor's offer.
"Or…Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing, your choice."
"I say take the deal, he's probably the best chance we've got."
"Ugh, fine."
Vaggie handed the camera to Alastor. Green magic came from the camera before Alastor made it vanish with a clap of his hands.
"Now then…"
With a snap of his fingers, the hotel residents and an entire camera crew of shadows appeared. Everyone's clothes started to change to the Roaring Twenties.
"Alright everyone, let's make a fucking commercial!"
Back at the Embassy, Charlie was rubbing her temples in frustration as Adam whined about going on a date with a girl and having to pay the check.
"NO! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!"
"OH! Well that's not a problem, we've got that covered, Lute, Marge, how many demons did you kill this year?"
"I got a good 275 sir."
"And I got 266."
"Badass, between the two of you that's…Um…"
"541." said Marge
"Uh, yeah, I was getting to that, anyway, good job bitches, pound it…"
"No, not awesome. Those are my people, you know that right?"
"Oh yeah…that must suck for you, HAHAHAHAHA!"
"But these are souls, human souls, just like the ones you have in Heaven."
"They are not the same, they had their chance and they earned damnation!" said Lute
"Quite frankly, those low grade scum should feel grateful that we take the time to end their suffering!" said Marge
"You're wrong, they may have made mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes."
"Angels don't make mistakes." said Lute
"You really think that?"
"I know that!"
"Yeah, I've never made a mistake in my fucking life." said Adam
"Well, I did, I tried to raise 2 children that turned out to be rotten selfish cretins!" said Marge
"But you tried your best, sometimes raising offspring is just a lost cause, and speaking of offspring, princess, the only reason you're still here is because daddy made a deal to pardon you and your little hellborns from the exorcist blades, how does it feel to know how little you matter?"
"So, almost out of time, guess we should get into it." said Adam
"Oh fuck!"
Charlie stood and rushed up the table to conjure up some papers she wanted to show Adam.
"Okay, I've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time, and I feel like you weren't hearing me before, so here it goes, ahem…" said Charlie, before she started singing
I know Hell's population is out of control
It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleans all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel…
"Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Right, extermination!"
I know you guys fly down
Just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying
To schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven
That trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It'll be a happy day in…
Adam stopped Charlie's song and raised his hand.
Let me stop you right there,
Save us all precious time!
"Okay…" said Charlie
If what you're suggesting
Is letting them climb
Up the ladder
Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?
"Well, uh…"
Sorry, sweetie
But there's no defyin' their fates!
'Cause Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
Now they boil in the pot
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives
Until we kill 'em again!
"Okay, but…"
Just try to chillax, babe
You're wasting your breath!
Did I hear you imply
That they ''don't'' deserve death?
Are they Winners?
Are they Sinners?
'Cause it's cut and dry
"Well, actually, if you take a look…"
Fair is fair, an eye for an eye!
And when all's said and done
(Said and done)
There's the question of fun
(Fun)
And for those of us with Divine Ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-now-now
Guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Oh, da-nah-nah now-n-now, now-now-now-now
"Ugh…"
Hell is forever
Whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better
Now they boil in the pot
"Where the Hell did you people come from?!" asked Charlie, surprised by the sudden appearances of the golden exorcists that now filled the room.
'Cause the rules are black and white
There's no use in tryin' to fight it
They're burnin' for their lives
Until we kill 'em again!
Fuckin' Hell is forever
And it's meant to suck a lot!
So give up your dumb endeavour
'Cause you don't have a shot!
Long as I've got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next Extermination!
Adam conjured a scroll and showed it to Charlie, reading 'FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT!'.
"WHAT?!"
Can't wait a whole year
To slaughter those little cunts
I know it's just been a week
But we'll be back in six months!
Adam grabbed Charlie by the wrist and spun her right out of the room. Charlie got back to her feet as the doors to the meeting room closed, the last thing she saw inside was Adam playing his guitar.
"Um, wait, didn't you…Ugh, SHIT!"
Later, Charlie, hanging her head with a sad look on her face, returned to the hotel, where she was greeted with a hug from Vaggie.
"Charlie! How did it go? Did they listen?"
"Oh, uh…they sure did hear it. But, um…"
"OH, come here, we have something exciting to show you."
Vaggie took Charlie's hand and pulled her to the parlour.
"Alastor pulled some strings and it's about to air."
"I pulled a few limbs too, hahaha."
"Wait, the commercial? You all made a new one?"
"Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself." said Angel
"That's not saying much, but we all worked hard on this one, Charlie, we hope you like it." said Vynn
The thought of everyone doing this to help the hotel nearly brought a tear to Charlie's eyes.
"That's…that's amazing."
"Shh, it's starting."
Charlie watched the commercial start on the TV.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hote…"
The commercial stopped when a breaking news broadcast aired, pissing everyone off...Except Niffty.
"Breaking News in Hell today! We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next Extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means, Tom?" asked Katie Killjoy
"No, what does that mean, Katie?"
"It means we're all royally fucked!"
Screaming could be heard outside as Vynn went to look out the door to see everyone panicking in the streets as the clock tower countdown reduced to 176 days.
"Wait, what? Why?!" asked Angel
Vynn heard his phone going off and checked to see who it was, Velvette.
"Hey Vel, you see the news report?"
"No, but it's trending on every single social media site in the Nine Circles."
"This doesn't make any sense, why would the angels move up the extermination? Why now?"
"Who's to say? Those bloodthirsty psychopaths think they can do whatever they want, thankfully, there may be a chance, Valentino found something during the extermination that may just turn the tables, I plan to bring it up at the next Overlord meeting, I'll let you know how it goes."
"Good, if the angels can just change the extermination day, they may start to abuse the privilege, Hell's gonna need every advantage it can get."
"You got that right, still, if it doesn't work out, you know where to find me to keep away from the exorcists." said a flirtatious Velvette
"See you then, hot stuff."
Velvette gave a kiss and hung up. Meanwhile, in Heaven, Lute showed Adam a picture of a decapitated angel in Hell.
"We found the body, sir. They've never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!"
"No, no. We can't risk them catching on. But don't worry. When we come back, there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again!"
Adam slammed his fist on the projector, destroying it.
That's all for now, hope you enjoyed so far.
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