Friday morning Teddy was up early.
"Where are you going," Owen asked.
"Making them breakfast then going with them for the casts," Teddy said, "we pushed independence too far."
"Allison last night," Owen said.
"She's about the break, it's been a couple nights of that," Teddy said, "we're taking over. She's 19 but they're not ready and not handling it well. How did we miss it?"
"They've been downstairs a lot, both are working and she's in school," Owen said, "and she's our quiet one when things are hard. Allison carries them inside until she's ready to crack then loses it when we don't expect it."
"Why does she do that," Teddy asked.
"You do two," Owen said, "so do I."
"She's 19," Teddy said.
"I know," Owen replied, "she has been for a few weeks."
"She's done too much already for being only 19 and I don't know how to support her," Teddy said, "I think her depression is getting worse or there's some anxiety."
"Both," Owen said, "has she been going?"
"She says she is but she's 19 I can't access the records," Teddy said, "Allison follows through with stuff like that."
"So today," Owen asked, "what's the plan?"
"I'll go make them breakfast now," Teddy said, "then we go to the hospital and get the casts on. Everly will be fussy after. I'll stay here and help how they want me to you are going to go get them groceries. I peaked yesterday when I went to get a clean diaper for Ev they have almost nothing."
"Her emotional state," Owen asked.
"I think if we can take the stress of some of the physical needs off we might be able to bring her stress level down and address what's really happening," Teddy said.
Teddy quickly got dressed and walked downstairs.
Allison came out of their bathroom with her hair dripping down her back, "mom?"
"Go dry your hair, I'll do breakfast," Teddy said, "I brought the stuff down."
"We have food," Allison said.
"Not enough baby girl," Teddy said, "theres simplicity and being frugal and not having enough. Allie do you have money for food and what Ev needs?"
"We have enough for diapers, her medications and gas until pay day," Allison admitted, "we have to get to next Wednesday."
"Okay," Teddy said, "here's the plan and no fighting me on it. Today either you or Asher are going to go grocery shopping for whatever you want or need with dad or I."
"We'll be okay," Allison said.
"You're not," Teddy declared, "you're losing weight Allison. Are you not eating because you're stressed, are you trying to lose weight, do you have enough food?"
"A and C," Allison said, "Asher works more physically than I do, Ev needs more solids."
"You're nursing you need the nutrition," Teddy said, "you need to eat."
"My jeans are a bit looser," Allison said, "I thought that was a good thing."
"Don't get any smaller than you were before Ev," Teddy advised, "you're healthy."
"Whats for breakfast," Allison asked.
"I have turkey bacon, scrambled eggs and toast," Teddy said, "are you hungry? Where's Ev?"
"She'll be up any minute and I'm hungry but I'll eat after I feed and dress Ev," Allison said.
"Her morning," Teddy asked, "I feel so out of the loop with her."
"Diaper, outfit, milk, physio, solids, play time, walk, milk, story, morning nap ," Allison said.
"We leave when," Teddy asked, "I took the day and will be with you. I knew after her solids you always bring her fed to dad and I."
"After her morning nap," Allison replied, "the appointment is at 12 so Ash is working until 11:30 and meeting us there."
"Can I do the morning routine with you," Teddy asked.
"Please," Allison said, "mom can you help me with it today?"
"I will," Teddy assured, "breakfast for how many?"
"She likes scrambled eggs and toast bits," Allison said, "I don't know if she's ready for the turkey bacon."
"Lets give her a taste," Teddy suggested.
"We could," Allison agreed.
"So a girls morning," Teddy said, "I can get her up and dressed while you do your hair."
"Her outfit is on the change table," Allison said.
"Casting," Teddy asked.
"A onesie and skirt," Allison said.
"You have the ones that you pull over her head and then snap between her legs," Teddy asked.
"We have 7 or 8 of those. It'll be a lot of laundry," Allison said, "and 3 little skirts."
"I'll order you some more onesies," Teddy said.
"We have shirts as well," Allison said, "I bought two more sleep sacks that should fit over her casts."
Everly began to cry in her crib. Allison walked into the nursery followed by Teddy. Everly stopped crying as soon as she saw her mom.
"Do you want me to dress her," Teddy asked.
"I like doing it," Allison said, "lets get you up princess. Can you say mama?"
"Mama," Everly echoed.
"Yes baby," Allison said, "mama. Let's change your bum bum and get dressed."
"What can I do," Teddy asked.
"My breakfast," Allison asked.
"When did you take your synthroid," Teddy asked, needing to time Allison's breakfast for 45 minutes after she took her medication.
"Six," Allison said, "right before I showered. I usually take it then shower and get Ev up, dressed and fed then it's time for me to eat."
"Okay," Teddy said, "when was the last time you had your blood work checked?"
"When you came with me a couple months ago," Allison said, "I need to get it refilled."
"Get it done Allison," Teddy said.
"I just have to go to the pharmacy and get it refilled," Allison said.
"They gave you six months," Teddy asked.
"Ya," Allison said.
Allison continued getting Everly ready for the day.
"I'll do her physio," Teddy offered.
"Milk first then you can," Allison said.
Allison carried Everly to the couch to feed the baby.
"Okay princess," Allison said to the baby, "it's a different Thursday, you're not going to uncle Josh today. After lunch we'll go to the hospital and see Dr Lincoln and he's going to put casts on your legs and they might feel different than your braces. We're going to go and put the casts on then you'll wear them for a week and we'll go back and get them changed next Thursday. It won't hurt as much as surgery and when the casts come off we can try getting you crawling. Grandma is going to drive us to the hospital and daddy will meet us there. Daddy will stay with you when mommy has to go to school tonight."
"Your day time class," Teddy asked.
"Thursday I usually work," Allison said.
"And next THursday," Teddy asked.
"We moved my shifts around during the casting process so I can be with her on THursdays then I'll work 8 hours Saturday and Sunday, " Allison answered.
"Both," Teddy asked.
"It's 4 more hours than normal," Allison said, "I wish I didn't have to work as much as I do but my family needs me to."
"About that," Teddy said as she began making breakfast.
"What," Allison said.
"Dad and I are going back to doing 3 dinners a week for the 5 of us," Teddy replied, "so you and Asher only do 3 for your selves. We pushed you too far too fast. Let's pull back and put some of those supports back in place."
"That will help," Allison agreed, "if we could make a bit more money it would help."
"Allie there's the money we put away for you to be in a dorm and on a meal plan," Teddy said, "use it. I know Asher is pushing you not to take it."
"We need it," Allison admitted, "at least for the couple months he's in school."
"I'll transfer it to your account," Teddy said.
"Mom if we only use it when Ash is in school or like I use the visa when we're really broke do you think when I'm ready for physio or med school I could use it to help then," Allison asked.
"You could," Teddy said, "I'll check with dad but I like that idea. We saved it for you so it could go to tuition again."
"Are you disappointed I won't go the army route," Allison asked.
"No," Teddy said, "your dad enlisted to help pay for medical school and then needed to do the time to pay it back. I joined after 9/11 and losing my first Allison. When I was in germany and Annie would visit me from Boston a few people tried to convince her."
"Can you tell me about the first Allison," Allison asked, "you haven't told me much."
"It's 30 years later and it's still hard for me to talk about," Teddy said, "I can tell you some."
"Please," Allison asked.
"Okay," Teddy agreed, "Allison Robin Brown was my roommate in New York and was killed in the second tower."
"Second tower," Allison asked.
"September 11, 2001," Teddy replied, "two planes crashed into what was known as the Twin Towers or the World Trade Center in Manhattan. Allison worked for an advertising agency in the second tower. Allison was one of the best friends I've ever had. With out her I would never have met your dad. She was funny, kind and when my parents both passed 11 months apart she took care of me. Shes one of only 5 friends I ever told about Annie from the time she was born until she was 19."
"Who did you tell," Allison asked, not able to understand how Teddy could not have talked about her daughter.
"Claire who was Allison's girl friend, we all lived in the same apartment and they saw the photos of Annie I had in my room," Teddy said, "then your dad, Megan and Nathan. Allison loved birds."
"Is that why you have birds on your scrub cap," Allison asked.
"Yes," Teddy said, "for her, I have others but I wear my birds most."
"Annie wears her Otters," Allison said.
"Your dad bought her her first otter cap when she was your age," Teddy smiled at the memory.
"Allison," Allison asked.
"She was amazing," Teddy said, "always up for an adventure and she had this way of looking at you and knowing what you were thinking and feeling she really loved people. I think you got that from her. The way you instinctively know what Everly, Asher or your friends and cousins need. Allison, my first Allison was the best friend I could ever ask for and you are something I could only have ever dreamed of."
"Mom," Allison asked.
"You know your dad and I were engaged when you were born," Teddy said.
"Yes," Allison replied.
"We had only dated a few months before that," Teddy replied.
"You made me when you started dating," Allison asked.
"I've never told you this and I don't know if your dad will agree with me doing this now but I think you're ready," Teddy replied as she placed two adult and a baby plate at the table.
"What," Allison asked fixing her top and standing up with Everly on her hip.
"How do I put this," Teddy thought out loud, "dad and I weren't dating yet when you were created. He didn't know until I was 11 weeks pregnant."
"What and you made me tell Asher right away," Allison said.
"That's why we did," Teddy said, "20 years ago or almost dad flew to where I was working in Landstuhl Germany with the army to visit me. He came to tell me he missed me and loved me. There hadn't been a good conference in Boston to meet up at in a few months so he got on a plane and came to surprise me."
"Wait am I a drunk one night stand," Allison asked.
"We did have a few drinks," Teddy said, "and didn't use protection. But I don't want to say one night stand. Dad was my best friend, we had been friends for 15 years at that point. He was the person that knew me best. I had been in love with dad for years and I wasn't ready to admit it."
"What about Henry," Allison asked.
"I loved Henry and he taught me a lot about being loved and accepting people's love for me," Teddy said, "but your dad is my one true love."
"Annie's biological father," Allison asked.
"She is the only good thing from that relationship," Teddy replied, "she is the reason I finally saw him for who he is and got out. I got out to save your sister. Baby girl my story has more twists and turns and moments of total despair then I ever want you to go to. The best things I've done are my kids."
"Even with Ev," Allison asked.
"Yes," Teddy said, "you and I are more alike than you know. I know the last year and a bit has been absolute hell and it might get worse before it gets better but baby girl you have something I never did."
"What's that," Allison asked.
"Your family," Teddy smiled, "you have siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles. All things I never had. We will be by your side. Allison please let us help."
"But that's not being independent," Allison whispered.
"You're 19," Teddy said, "you're more independent than your brother. More than Annie was at your age. Allison lets rework the plan. Bring dad and Asher in but maybe we need to rework things. The plan we put you on was when you were pregnant, before Ev's diagnosis and we need to re work it. Now that we know the severity and all of her needs we need to rework the plan. What are two big stresses dad and I could help with?"
Allison paused and thought for a minute before replying, "his family and money."
"The money part is doable right away," Teddy replied, "use the Visa and dad or I will let you know if it's excessive. We're always shocked that it's only used for hospital parking."
"Asher won't like it," Allison said.
"Allie you need the help for your mental health you need to accept our help," Teddy said, "do it for you and for Ev."
"She likes turkey bacon," Allison smiled seeing the baby shove the tiny pieces in her mouth.
"And her toast," Teddy agreed.
"She does," Allison said, "I should give her some eggs. They won't put her under today?"
"No," Teddy said, "just hold her. The two of you can hold her and be with her. Did you get her tylenol?"
"We did last night," Allison said.
"So morning play time," Teddy asked.
"Could we go for a walk," Allison asked, "put her in the carrier and go. She likes walks."
"She always has," Teddy agreed, "you walked every day before she was born."
"I think she likes being taken for walks in the carrier to feel the movement," Allison said, "mom what if she never walks?"
"Then we get her the coolest wheelchair," Teddy said, "she's talking a bit now, she has a few words, her upper body seems strong and so do her fine motor skills."
"The paediatrician says those are all normal so do physio," Allison said, "I'm just scared that this won't work."
"Then we try something else," Teddy replied.
"Then what," Allison asked.
"We try everything possible," Teddy assured.
"What does dad say," Allison asked.
"He's worried about all of you. He'll meet us later at the hospital," Teddy said, "I'll play with Everly, you finish getting ready."
"I'm just going to pull my hair back," Allison said.
"Hair, make up, not leggings," Teddy said, "you know you feel better when your dressed baby girl. Little things like that make a huge difference. Do your hair and make up wear real clothes. Then we all need fresh air."
Allison did as she was told then bundled Everly up for their walk.
"Can I help," Teddy asked.
"I'm good, I like carrying her," Allison said, "my time with her is the only time I feel happy right now."
"I have an idea if you think your ready," Teddy said.
"What," Allison asked.
"Your reading break next week the Wednesday I have a pace maker," Teddy said.
"You do those all the time," Allison shrugged.
"Time to scrub in baby girl. You're 19, your freshman year of college," Teddy said, "it's time. We're ready to do this."
"I can scrub in," Allison asked looking shocked.
"It's time," Teddy agreed, "I think your ready. You get to scrub with me and be right at my elbow."
"Can I touch the patient," Allison asked.
"Not for this but you'll get to see it," Teddy said.
"When did Annie get to touch a patient," Allison asked.
"The reading break when she was 19," Teddy said, "but that's dad's thing. He really wants the first time your hands on to be with him. I get the first scrub in and he gets the first time you hold a retractor."
"A retractor," Allison asked.
"Yes," Teddy promised, "we have a plan for when you start scrubbing in and observing with us."
"What's the plan," Allison asked, suddenly intrigued, Teddy smiled seeing Allison showing interest.
"Observe with me and dad sometimes you might get to hold a retractor, I'm sure if it's something they think is good for you Megan, Annie or Josh might invite you to join them," Teddy beamed.
"Really," Allison asked, "when Annie started to scrub in?"
"Me first then dad," Teddy said, "Dr. Webber and Dr Bailey. We'll have you with family to start."
"What was Annie's first time scrubbing in," Allison asked.
"It was to be a pacemaker but turned into a tumor resection," Teddy said, "that was her first time seeing a surgery. You've been in the gallery and seen more. You've come and watched since you chose pre med. She was in the second semester of her sophomore year so you and I have more time to do this."
"Why was she a sophomore did she start college late then rushed to catch up," Allison asked.
"Her birthday is in October like Avas," Teddy said, "you know how your 19 but Ava only turned 18 a couple months ago."
"Ya," Allison said, "I forgot that with Annie. What did Leo do first?"
"He hasn't told us he's interested in scrubbing in," Teddy replied, "you've asked and shown interest. I have 3 years to do this with you and we're going to take our time."
"MCATs," Allison asked.
"We can start looking but you're a freshman," Teddy said.
"Mom I want to do it on the normal schedule," Allison said, "I know it will be hard but I don't want to finish when Ev finishes highschool."
"Okay," Teddy said, "I understand that. Allison if at any point you need a break and to take a semester off it's okay."
"I can't lose my momentum," Allison said, "if I stop I'll get trapped in the cycle I've already seen others get caught in. I won't be one of those girls that high school was the best time of my life. It's really really hard right now."
"We will help you," Teddy promised, "you have to tell me what you need and I will help. Allison you need to communicate with me."
"But I let you down and I did what I did and we have Ev and she's hurting," Allison said.
"I did the same thing," Teddy said, "even better I did it twice! I get it! Yes Ev has some challenges but she is getting so much stronger and she's so smart."
"She is," Allison smiled, ducking her head to kiss the top of Everly's in the carrier.
Everly smiled up at her mom.
"Can you say mama," Allison asked.
"Ma ma," Everly copied.
"She's copying," Teddy said.
"I know she copies but it's cute," Allison beamed, "mama, mama."
"Ma ma," Everly said again.
"Grandma," Teddy said slowly.
"Ma," Everly tried, "ma ma ma ma ma."
"Mama," Allison said, "that's right I'm mama."
"Time to head back," Teddy asked.
"We should," Allison agreed.
They headed back and played with Everly for a couple minutes before Allison laid the baby down for a nap.
"Nap time," Teddy said, "what do you need?"
"Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and to study," Allison replied.
"I'll go make your cookies," Teddy smiled.
"Thanks mom," Allison said.
"How are you feeling baby," Teddy asked.
"Okay," Allison said, "worried about today."
"I would be two," Teddy agreed, "lunch what am I making while the cookies bake?"
"Quesadillas," Allison asked.
"Sure I have the stuff," Teddy agreed.
"Mom," Allison replied, "we have food."
"Just let me baby girl," Teddy said.
"We have food," Allison said.
"And I'm making it in my kitchen where I have everything I like to use and organized how I like it," Teddy replied.
After lunch Teddy drove Allison and Everly to the hospital and walked to the cast clinic with them.
"Mom we're okay," Allison said.
"I took the day off to do this with you," Teddy said, "what do you need?"
"I can't watch her in pain," Allison said.
"You gave her the tylenol already," Teddy said, "she'll be okay. And she knows mommy and daddy are with her so is Grandma."
Asher joined them, "how are my girls?"
"Okay," Allison said.
"Allie it's casts," Asher assured, "just casts. She's awake and we can be with her the whole time."
Allison shook her head.
"We've got this," Asher assured.
They sat in the waiting area waiting to be called back.
"Breathe," Teddy reminded Allison, "this is minor she'll be okay."
"I can't," Allison said.
"You can," Teddy assured.
Everly was sitting in Asher's lap playing with her stuffed monkey.
"Everly Blouin," a nurse called.
They stood up and carried Everly over.
"How are we doing today," Link asked.
"A little nervous," Allison said.
"Okay were going to cast her into a more flexed position then her braces hold her feet," Link said.
"Will she be in pain," Asher asked.
"There will be some discomfort but she shouldn't be in pain," Link assured.
"Tonight," Allison asked.
"You give her tylenol if she needs it," Link said.
"Baths," Allison asked.
"This is the new material that can get wet but I wouldn't fully immerse her in the bath," Link said, "sponge baths, keeping her casts dry is recommended."
"Okay," Allison nodded, "when we change the casts next week can we give her a full bath when this weeks come off before the new ones go on?"
"That would be a good idea we can do that," Link agreed.
"She loves her bath," Allison said, "she can really move in the water."
"Thats not uncommon with her diagnosis and symptoms," Link said, "who's going to hold her?"
"I will," Asher said.
"Okay dad," Link said, "hold her still."
Link put the casts on Everly's legs quickly having already prepared the splint pieces to hold the position needed ahead of time.
"Breathe," Teddy whispered to Allison, "they're on."
"Okay so I'll follow up and change those in a week but you're good to go," Link said when the casts had hardened.
"Did you drive," Asher asked Allison.
"Mom did," Allison answered.
"I have the new seat in my car I'll take you home," Asher said, "we'll hang out for the afternoon."
"Sure," Allison said.
They walked to his truck taking turns to hold and try to consol Everly.
When they got home Allison settled in the rocking chair with the fussy baby and rocked slowly, getting into the rhythm that had always soothed Everly.
"Allie," Asher asked.
"She's calming but I'm going to feed her and let her nurse to sleep," Allison said, "she's cranky and tired and fighting to stay awake."
"Do you need anything," Asher asked.
"Water," Allison said.
"Thats it," Asher asked, "have you eaten?"
"I had breakfast and lunch with mom," Allison said, "we're going to step back on the plan a bit. Ash for my mental health we need to accept more of mom and dad's support. We've tried, I'm ready to crack. We're going to do 3 of our own dinners and mom and dad will do the other three."
"Back to that okay," Asher said.
"Easier," Allison replied, "our nights we just cook for us. And we are going to accept help with the groceries and my gas."
"For how long," Asher asked.
"Until I'm doing better, until Ev is doing better," Allison said, "Ash if we don't I'm going to end up back in the depression rabbit hole. We need the help. Not that we can't provide for her and ourselves we can but right now mentally it's too much for me."
"For how long," Asher asked.
"Finish this semester and evaluate," Allison said, "its for now not forever."
"Okay," Asher said, "I just don't want to depend on your parents for ever."
"No," Allison said, "I don't want to either. Mom just pointed out today that if I had gone away to school they would be totally supporting me and the money was set aside to help me with housing and a meal plan at school. It's available to us to help if we need it. It's money they saved for me and my education."
"That sounds better then just getting an allowance from them," Asher agreed, "I still don't love it."
"I know," Allison said, "we need it. Ash, we need help."
"For now," Asher agreed, "until we're in a better place."
"Yes," Allison agreed.
"Babe talk to your mom," Asher said.
"I do," Allison said.
"Not like when we lived upstairs," Asher said.
"I know I get caught up down here with you and Ev and the house work and school and I run out of time to go up," Allison said.
"Make it part of your day," Asher said, "you miss her."
"I do," Allison agreed, "having today with mom made it easier to do the casts."
"Good," Asher said, "when she's done I'll snuggle her and you go take a break."
"I'm good," Allison said, "mom really helped this morning and we went for a good walk."
"Still," Asher said, "go call Ava or Liv."
"Liv isn't talking to us," Allison said.
"Why," Asher asked.
"I said something about her and her boyfriend and not sleeping with him until she was sure and had protection and she didn't like it," Allison said.
"And Ava," Asher asked.
"Her and Luke are good," Allison said, "they want to go camping this summer for a weekend."
"We can take Ev," Asher agreed, "camping would be fun but do we have gear?"
"In the garage," Allison replied.
"Wait for July when it's warmer for Ev but we'll go," Asher said, "I like camping."
"So do I," Allison agreed.