Ch. 32
Pranks and Allies
Kakashi frowned down at the four earnest faces that were staring up at him expectantly.
"Run the by me again," he said dryly, having a very strong sense of deja vu.
"Men are still after my sister! The old lady's ploy didn't work! In fact, I think it backfired! Itachi-nii and the peeping tom have been butting heads since the fight two days ago! And Asuma-oji said that he saw her being carried by some really tall guy yesterday! We've got to do something sensei! You're the team leader! Think of something!" cried Naisho as Kakashi frowned in confusion. First off, new guy? Who was Asuma talking about?
"A-ano, I think it might have had to do with her not having proper clothes," Hinata hesitantly ventured as Naisho's face went red with rage.
"That old lady isn't going to know what hit her! I can't believe she threw my sister out of a window naked!" he complained as Sakura sent him a reproachful look.
"We told you it was a bad idea," Sasuke chimed in.
"And she was wearing a hospital robe," Sakura pointed out as Naisho shot them a disgusted look.
"Exactly! She was practically naked! Same difference! And she's going to be putting on that production in a few weeks so she's going to become even more popular! She's always with Jiraiya-oji and the Hokage too which is going to draw people's notice to her! And her hair! It's too bright! Maybe I should put dye in her shampoo. Kakashi-sensei, we've got to do something!" cried the distressed boy. Kakashi sweatdropped hoping he hadn't heard that little tidbit about Naisho dying his sisters hair. She was mad enough as is.
Seeing the blank look of dread on Kakashi's face as he thought over the consequences of that particular prank idea, the kids discarded Kakashi entirely.
"We need someone who's unpopular," said Sakura. The group ran off talking over it the whole while, the names of Anko and Ibiki being bandied about until they seemed to settle on Gai's, once more.
"If anyone would know how to drive away a woman, it would be Gai," Kakashi quietly muttered to himself, just wishing he could get back to his book. Kakashi sighed, watching the kids run off at top speed in hunt for his rival. Again.
"YOOOOOOOOUTH!" Sakura yelled as if the word would summon the man once more.
Kakashi groaned in annoyance when it did summon the man for a second time.
"YOOOOSH! Did someone call the mighty Green Beast of Konoha?" Gai yelled as he came to a stop in front of the kids. The kids seemed to talk with him for a moment before he gasped.
"EEEH? More men are fighting for the affections of Moriko-san and you are afraid the production she puts on in a few weeks will only make it worse? And you need my opinion on what would make her less popular to the fertile men of Konoha?" Gai cried as Kakashi suddenly had a very strong sense of deja vu again. He was wondering how many he could have in such a short period of time.
"EEEH? I will not let you do something so unyouthful!" Gai suddenly cried looking stern. The kids dashed off and Kakashi tried to do the same, but Gai was already on him like soy on sauce.
"Kakashiiiii! My eternal rival! Did you know your students plan to ruin Moriko-san's production in hopes of making her look less appealing to the fertile men of Konoha?" he demanded as Kakashi sweat dropped.
"So that's what they wanted," he said dryly as Gai frowned at him arms crossed.
"We cannot let them do something so unyouthful!" Gai cried in high volume making Kakashi wince as he whipped out his book.
"Mah, we'll stop them this time for sure," he said mildly. Naisho was still sleeping on his couch from the last stunt. Kakashi wasn't sure how he would feel about the boy living with him full-time if he managed to aggravate his sister enough. That seemed to be enough for Gai who dashed off as Kakashi looked beseechingly up at the heavens.
"Seriously Kami? Why is it always me?" he asked. He groaned seeing a horde of Naisho clones suddenly hopping all over the village and he closed his book. Time to hunt down his team before things got out of hand like last time.
…
Kakashi tracked them down to the Hokage's office where the old man was wheezing with laughter.
"I want to make it an official mission! I even have the money for it," said Naisho as he pushed a sack of money toward the wheezing man.
"And we want to take the mission," Sasuke said resolutely as Sakura hesitated but nodded with determination.
"Yeah! We've got to protect Moriko-nee from the peeping tom and your older brother!" she said as she glared at Sasuke who winced.
"Hey, don't look at me like that, it's not my fault we're related," he grumbled as the other two kids chuckled.
"What's this about a peeping tom?" Kakashi asked mildly as he leaned against the doorway. The kids whirled around but Naisho was too fired up to be concerned.
"That Hyuga guy peeped on her while she was in the bath! Well, he said he was looking for the other bath, but we all know what that really means!" cried the boy as Kakashi straightened with a frown.
"Yeah! When Itachi-nii found out he got all mad and pulled his ninjato and Sasuke's parents and cousins had to go restrain him before he could kill him!" Sakura piped up as the Hokage's laughter started up once more. Kakashi could hear the Anbu in the rafters start wheezing, except the one in the corner in the wolf mask who seemed abnormally focused on his team. Huh, that was odd.
"And you think ruining this production will stop them?" the Hokage wheezed as the kids whirled around to face him.
"Well, yeah! These guys like her because she's pretty and she's really nice! The other day was bad, but I think we need to take it a step further. But no nakedness! That seemed to backfire badly and they're even more into her now. No, we need to make her mad with clothing on! If we ruin the production, and make her no longer pretty, they will see what she looks like when she has a fit! She's scary as hell! No way they'll stick around!" Naisho cried excitedly as he opened his scroll. The Hokage looked it over before sighing.
"I will sanction the mission, but only if you use water," he said, and the kids nodded. The Hokage opened the bag and pulled out the coins needed for a C-rank mission as Kakashi shot him an incredulous look.
"You can't be serious Hokage-sama," he said dryly as the old man chuckled, gesturing for the kids to go. They ran out of the office gleeful that their plans had been approved. The old man grinned.
"I'm sure Moriko-chan can handle any disruptions, now that I have limited them to using water for their idea," he said with a cheeky grin. Kakashi sighed, wondering at the madness that had entered his team when an Uzumaki had been placed on it.
As Kakashi drifted out the door lazily following his team, the Hokage returned his attention back to his paperwork with a frown.
There were several more requests from Tsunade for Moriko to be moved permanently to the medical programs, and Hiruzen's frown only deepened. He denied the requests once more and added another form to the mix, one that would block Tsunade's requests for the next year, filling out another form stating that all requests for Moriko's placement in his forces would be denied for a year on all levels. He had a feeling he was going to be getting a lot of requests for her time over the coming year and decided to put this lock on her file to cut down the size of Moriko-inspired paperwork.
"Wolf," he called and one of his Anbu appeared in a crouch before his desk.
"You will be present at the Sealing briefing you requested today. While there, you will ensure no one in Anbu tries to recruit Moriko Uzumaki and let them know that all requests will be funneled directly to me. Dismissed."
...
Moriko cleaned up the materials she had used for the Anbu briefing as a few on the Anbu came over to chat with her, some asking questions about seals, others asking her about herself as Wolf seemed to tower behind her quietly. When Boar asked her if she was going to join Anbu, Wolf swiftly began signing in Anbu.
Denied on all levels. Such questions are denied and all requests will go through the Hokage only, any other recruitment is expressly denied. Failure to do so will be met with immediate disciplinary actions for all ranks.
Boar backed off before moving over to Yami-sama, the head of the Anbu forces who seemed to regard the two for a moment before leaving the back of the classroom as Moriko continued her conversations with the other Anbu and handed out the rest of the seals she had prepared, ranging from high-grade explosive seals, to body scrolls.
To the side, a group of Anbu was going over a list of seals she had that they could request she place on them. Done with her conversation with the ones that had questions, she moved over to the crowd that wanted seals, Wolf coming to stand behind where she sat.
Soon Anbu was equipped with chakra storage seals on their bodies, item storage on their palms and other body parts, sound, scent, and chakra masking seals, a gravitational seal on their sternums, a henge seal that could keep up appearance changes undetectable, seals to keep debris and particles out of the face as well as store fresh air. Inside their mouths on the right side was a storage seal for fresh water for them to fill and on the left was another storage seal for nutrition shakes.
She also gave them a poison-neutralization and detection seal and a reverse summons seal that would trigger under specific conditions to return them to the village. For their masks, she used a seal to make the inside of the mask invisible near the eyes to give the operatives full range of their sight. The inside of the mask would also move the air in front of the mask to behind the mask to produce fresh air so they wouldn't have to deal with stuffiness and to allow ninjas with smell-based skills an easier time utilizing their abilities.
The mask was hardened with a strengthening seal as well. If the mask was shattered it would return itself to the village while the face of the operative would be obscured by a genjutsu seal.
She also added a few more seals without telling them, not wanting them to get lazy and too reliant on the seals, however, she did include a parameter seal that would alert the Anbu if someone was within a certain distance and a few more seals to help avoid detection and mask their presence.
"If there is anyone that missed today's lesson, the Hokage has scheduled three more sessions after this. Also, if anyone else needs more seals, put the request in with the Hokage's office for now. My shop won't be open for a few weeks yet," she said before departing with a wave. After she had left, Yami-sama crept back into the room and the rest of Anbu fell into attention, sensing their commander had something to say.
"As you might have been able to tell from that demonstration, Uzumaki-san is a great asset to the village and has been slotted to accomplish unique tasks for the Hokage himself. Due to her heritage and rare skillset, the Hokage will be assigning her an Anbu guard. If you wish to apply for the roster this is the form to fill out. Slots are limited in space, so after applications are submitted, we will either decide through a series of spars or you will leave the decision to your superiors. Guard rotations will be both formal and informal Anbu roles, in both uniform and civvies. During increased threats to security, slots will be doubled and backup applicants will be expected to fill those roles. Trials will be held next week. Dismissed."
A swarm of interested applicants swarmed the form desk, including Anbu Captain Weasel as his associates murmured to one another about the demonstration and lesson. Formal and informal rotations would put them more in touch with the person they were guarding and potentially becoming friends with an accomplished sealing master could be a valuable thing. Hearing the way his coworkers were speaking caused Weasel to frown under his mask. This was one of the reasons he didn't advertise his skills in sealing, or others might seek his friendship for the benefits of such an arcane skill.
An informal role was normally not permitted for bodyguard duties unless the Hokage was looking for a more permanent guard. It was typically done in cases to lower the attention that might come from having an obvious Anbu as a bodyguard and to also encourage dedication from the Anbu operatives towards their charges. After all, you were more likely to put everything you had on the line for a friend than a distant stranger.
Weasel's eyes drifted to Wolf before narrowing, his irises flashing red for a moment remembering how the other operative Wolf had shadowed the young woman through the Anbu HQ. Wolf merely quirked an unseen brow behind his mask at seeing the other man's eyes flash with the Sharingan. Weasel felt Wolf take control of his shadow before he found his hands in his pockets and his finger began tapping out a message discretely on his thigh.
Talk later? Training hall 6, 15 minutes.
Weasel gave a subtle nod once he had control of his body once more. Indeed, they would talk.
...
The two men panted from different sides of the training field, Wolf's arm reverting from a shadow back to an arm, Weasel's red eyes turning black behind his mask. They seemed to regard each other for a moment, still sizing each other up before they seemed to relax in tandem.
"You're good," Weasel complimented as Wolf's head dipped in acknowledgment.
"You as well. I'll be in here for sparring after my shift ends at three if you are interested in training together and getting to know each other better," said Wolf as he turned to walk away causing Weasel to frown behind his mask.
"Any particular reason?" he called causing the other man to pause, regarding him over his shoulder.
"We both know out of everyone applying you and I are most likely to receive the job, with you already being very strong and already invested in her well-being, and me for my skill and clearance level," he said, turning to walk away, Weasel's eyes narrowing further as they flashed red. Weasel appeared in front of the other Anbu who blocked his blade with an arm of hardened shadows, the clang of the metal ringing through the room as the two men glared from behind their masks.
"Like I didn't see you hovering behind her the entire meeting, following her everywhere through HQ," murmured Weasel as Wolf's light eyes narrowed.
"Control yourself, Weasel. You may love her, but you will not impede the orders of the Hokage. There has been a large uprise in requests and recruitment offers from many divisions wanting to get their claws into a sealing master and I don't see you offering yourself up as an alternative. You know what Yami-sama can be like, and she's already being harassed by Tsunade of the Sannin for a spot in the hospital, along with a number of the hospital staff wanting to get a piece of her. Do you want to watch her being hounded by the darkness of Anbu himself?"
"So it's not because you have alternative motives like the rest of Anbu? Just doing your duty?" Weasel challenged, almost mocking in his sarcasm. Wolf straightened to full height to loom over the shorter man, eyes glinting eerily in the shadows of his mask. After a moment of staring the shorter man down, Wolf chuckled a bit impressed by the other man's refusal to back down.
"She's an interesting woman with a lot of responsibilities on her shoulders, and I'm as curious as a cat, Itachi. At this point, I'm interested. I want to know more." He said as Itachi's red eyes narrowed.
"Just 'curious,' right," Itachi scoffed as Wolf laughed.
"It doesn't hurt she's beautiful, gets on well with the deer, and loves naps," Wolf goaded darkly. Weasel's eyes widened in shock at such intimate knowledge before he snarled. His opponent disappeared in a flash of darkness only for Itachi to find himself fully restrained by the shadowy form that wrapped around and bound him. Lips materialized near his ear as the snarling Uchiha growled.
"I'm already invested in keeping her safe for a number of reasons Itachi. She's doing a lot for the safety of this village, at the highest levels possible. By protecting her, I'm protecting my home to the best of my abilities. I watched her for a couple of days and you know what I saw? She's a nice person, it's not just my fickle interest in beauty or greed for her seals that has me applying for this job. She has an easy temperament, even when she's being troublesome so I don't think it will be a chore to get to know her, and she's always working on some sort of project, keeping things interesting. Yes, I'm interested, but you can't blame me for that, since you've probably seen the same things I have. But doesn't this work out in your favor, Itachi? At least, this way you know someone strong will be willing to lay down their life for the woman you love, even if you aren't there. You know how much danger she will be in in the future no matter how strong she is. The question is how much do you value her safety over your desires," Wolf murmured in the other man's ear, causing Itachi's struggles to decrease as he seemed to mull it over. After a minute of thought, he cursed before jerking free of the relaxed restraint of the shadowy man.
"Curse you, Nara, you thought this through," Itachi muttered as Wolf's posture relaxed into a slouch, color and solidity bleeding back into his form, as the man slipped his gloved hands in his pockets.
"Mah, after hearing how you and that Hyuga were fighting over her affections, I figured I would need a good strategy for you even to permit me near," he said with a shrug as Itachi glared behind his mask. The shorter man scoffed.
"At least you're strong enough to protect her. That Hyuga, on the other hand, is only a B-rank fighter and wouldn't lay his life down for her, just interested in a political marriage. The Hyuga clan is after her for her sealing mastery and has the man who greatly wounded her now courting her. And the dishonorable man has already been caught peeping on her with those accused eyes of his," Itachi scoffed, "Where do he and his clan get off on thinking he has any right to approach her for her hand in marriage after she has already done so much for them? They owe her a debt to the clan, not the other way around."
At his words Wolf's relaxed poster straightened, easy manner suddenly gone.
"They did what?" he demanded, sounding incredulous in his displeasure. Itachi, sensing a kindred soul and a potential ally against the Hyuga began walking and gestured for the other man to follow.
AN: for those who want to point out that Itachi potentially telling the story surrounding the Hyuga's interest in her out of context, of course he is.
If he can color the other man's opinion of Hizashi enough, he's going to potentially gain another willing human meatshield that can subtly disrupt Hizashi's attempts to woo Moriko. The fact that this person can also subtly use shadow manipulation to make Hizashi look silly isn't running through Itachi's mind at all, no sir'ee! ;)
But at the same time, he knows Wolf is a Nara and an intelligent one at that. Wolf knows to take whatever Itachi's about to tell him with a grain of salt.
And yet this will set Wolf down a line of questioning to discern all the facts surrounding the situation, which will in turn encourage Wolf to learn more about Moriko than peripheral information, pulling Wolf's interest and investment in her well-being away from her job and more toward her as a person.
To explain if that was confusing, who would you give your life for?
Bob, the accountant that does the taxes for the company and they are due next quarter.
Bobby, funny guy, family man, loving father, good friend, good person.
Itachi's subtly trying to get Ryusuke invested in 'Moriko the funny overexcitable dweeb' then 'Uzumaki-san, sealing master, Hokage's aid.'
Wolf told Itachi he's the curious sort and Itachi's dangling a string in front of the cat, so to speak. Yes, Itachi is biased, yes Ryusuke is too smart to fall for it, and yes Itachi is still a genius, willing and able to have hidden motives.