Catrina sat at the island in the cottage talking to Nisha. She had a professional development day from school and chose to hang out with Faroke and Nisha instead of being home alone.
"Can you help me with something," Catrina asked.
"What," Nisha asked.
"Drake wants me to sleep over but I don't want to have a baby in high school like Allison," Catrina said, "everly is always hurt or sick or going to the doctor. I couldn't do that."
"Everlys CP is a lot to manage and Allison and Asher do really well with it," Nisha said, "but your right having a baby now would not be good for you and isn't what you want. Why my help?"
"You don't judge," Catrina said, "I want something to stop it from happening."
"And you suck at remembering medications," Nisha said.
"Yep," Catrina replied, "can you not tell my mom?"
"Your 16 I can't tell her," Nisha said, taking a seat with Cat, "I would let her know. Your mom isn't going to judge you wanting to be safe. Your making decisions for your body and going to someone you trust. Cat you are doing the right thing."
"I don't want to be Allie but why does everyone praise her so much," Catrina said, "she's in college like everyone else and going to medical school like is expected. She lives with her fiancé and has for years. Don't people get that she made a mistake."
"She didn't think ahead or plan," Nisha said, "but she is a great mother and they work hard."
"It's always Allie this and Allie that," Catrina pouted, "no one notices what I'm doing."
"That's not true," Nisha argued, "we were all at your state championship for volleyball last month. Everyone was there to cheer you on."
"Dad wasn't," Catrina said.
"This is about your dad isn't it," Nisha said, "I know you miss him when he travels."
"Asher stayed, uncle Owen stayed they didn't walk away from their daughters when they weren't perfect," Catrina shouted, "I know I don't look like my cousins. Annie, Allie, Ellie all look like auntie Teddy. Their names even follow the pattern! Double consonant ie."
"Dan named Annie," Nisha said.
"But they're all these perfect little blondes," Catrina yelled.
"Let's take Annie out of this she's nearly 50 and I'm pretty sure she's highlighted her hair," Nisha said, "I don't look like them."
"But they're thin and pretty," Catrina said, "boys like girls like that. Girls like me have to do things to keep guys interested. I hate that my clothes are bigger than theirs. And Allie has a kid!"
"They work for that don't kid yourself," Nisha said, "I see Annie skip meals all the time at work and Allie their budget is tight. I'm sure she's prioritising Asher and Ev eating over herself. They need help."
"I want to look like them, not me," Catrina said, "I don't blend in."
"Neither do I," Faroke said, joining them.
"But," Catrina said.
"No," Faroke said, "mom and dad chose us, Catrina."
"But dad didn't choose," Catrina yelled, "he didn't choose me. Dad is never here!"
"He's coming next week for Khitam's birthday," Fraoke said, "he's staying here."
"But not with me," Catrina screamed.
There was a knock at the door, Nisha went to open it.
"Nathan," Nisha greeted.
"Hi," Nathan greeted.
"Come on in Faroke and Cat are in the kitchen and Khitam was napping," Nisha said, "Cat is pretty worked up."
"Why," Nathan asked.
"You're not here," Nisha said bluntly, "a girl needs her dad."
"Kitty Cat," Nathan called.
"That's not my name," Catrina yelled.
"Dad it's not a good time," Faroke said defending his sister, "she hates being called Kitty Cat she's 16. You haven't been home since Christmas. You missed Easter, you were here for 10 days over Christmas. you're here for Khitam's first birthday but."
"Where is this coming from," Nathan asked.
"You're never here, you cheated on mom," Catrina yelled.
"She told you," Nathan gasped.
"I overheard her and auntie Teddy," Catrina said.
"She told Teddy," Nathan said.
"You left, you walked away from us," Catrina said, "you didn't come to the state championships for volleyball. You're the only person who wasn't there. Allie even took a day off work to come. Her and Asher came with Everly. You promised you were going to stop travelling all the time."
"That was the last one," Nathan said, "I gave them my notice. I'm not going back overseas."
"Where are you going to live," Faroke asked.
"I checked into a hotel," Nathan said, "I'm going to look for an apartment. 2 bedrooms."
"You don't expect me to sleep over do you," Catrina asked.
"I'd like you to when you're ready," Nathan said, "and I am going to nationals with you and mom for Volleyball. The three of us will go together."
"Six," Faroke said, "Nisha and I took the days off to go."
"You're coming," Catrina asked.
"We wouldn't miss it," Nisha assured, "and we booked the days off when your ball team is playing in the Canada Cup tournament in BC."
"Catrina do you want to go get lunch with me," Nathan asked.
"I had lunch," Catrina replied.
"Dinner," Nathan offered, "go catch up?"
"Mom and I have plans tonight," Catrina said, "I can do it tomorrow. No girlfriends."
"No girlfriend," Nathan confirmed, "I don't have one."
"None," Catrina asked.
"None," Nathan said, "I want to be here, make things right with the two of you and your mom."
"Dad, don't make promises you can't keep," Faroke warned.
"I'm here and I'm trying," Nathan said, "Catrina do you need a ride home?"
"No," Catrina said, "I'm babysitting tonight because they're going out."
Allison sat with Everly watching a Disney movie in her hospital room.
"Mommy," Everly said, "walk please."
"We can't princess," Allison said, "we have to let your hips get better."
"No fun," Everly whined.
"I know it's not much fun right now," Allison said, "we could go to the garden in your wheelchair."
"No chair, I walk," Everly demanded.
"You can't walk right now," Allison said, "the braces are keeping your hips in the right spot."
"Why," Everly asked.
"So that we can make your hips and legs stronger," Allison said, "make it easier for you to walk."
"No," Everly whined, "walk now."
"A month," Allison said, "we can go to the play room and play with puzzles or colour or play lego."
"Tea party," Everly asked.
"We can have a tea party," Allison smiled.
"Where's daddy," Everly asked.
"He's at work," Allison said, "Daddy is working and I'm here."
Link came in, "how are you today Everly?"
"Walk now," Everly tried asking her doctor, "please?"
"No," Link said, "4 weeks."
"When can we go home," Allison asked, "we've been here 9 days."
"Tomorrow," Link said, "the infection is clearing up, I want to give her another 24 hours on the IV antibiotics."
"She's getting really bored," Allison said, "and we're not sleeping any of us."
"Have you left the hospital at all Allison," Link asked, taking a seat.
"Three days ago I ran home for something I needed that Ash wouldn't know where it was," Allison said, "I was gone for less than an hour."
"Where is Asher," Link asked.
"Work," Allison answered, "he had to go back today, we need him working."
"When he gets back I want you to ask your parents or sister to hang out with Everly for half an hour and the two of you go spend some time out of the hospital," Link said.
"I'll go when I can bring my daughter home," Allison replied.
"Another day," Link said.
"Bathing her," Allison asked, "we've done some sponge baths and washed her hair in the sink but she likes her bath."
"I don't want her out of the braces that long," Link said.
"How long are we looking at," Allison asked.
"Looking at yesterday's xrays and CT three more weeks to be conservative," Link said, "the infection is gone. She's lucky her mom is so observant and knows her so well."
"You took her diapers off to help with that," Allison said, "when can we talk about diapering again? We're using the pads on the bed and in her wheelchair but to go home I need her in diapers."
"Let me look at the incisions and we'll decide," Link said, "Everly can I look at your hips?"
"No hurt," Everly whined.
"I'll be really gentle," Link assured, "can I take a look mommy will hold your hands."
"It's okay Ev," Allison said, "Dr Linchon is going to look and then decide when we can go home."
"Charlie," Everly asked.
"We will play with Charlie," Allison agreed, "and Josie cat. Can Dr Linchon look? He either looks now or after snack."
"Now," Everly said.
"Okay," Link said, lifting up Everly's hospital gown to check the incisions, "that is looking a lot better. The surface has healed and the wound is closed. We can put her diapers back on."
"Okay," Allison said, "going home?"
"I still want the last doses of the IV antibiotic to play it safe," Link said, "home tomorrow for sure. She's ready. You'll have an oral antibiotic for another week."
"Physio," Allison asked.
"I'll do follow up images in 3 weeks and decide," Link said, "if everything looks good in the next set of imaging we'll move to a different sort of brace and start physio."
"Potty training," Allison asked.
"Talk to physio but I can't see why you won't start when the casts come off," Link said.
After Everly had her second popsicle of the day Allison lifted her into the wheelchair.
"Where we go," Everly asked.
"Let's go find grandma and grandpa," Allison said.
Allison pushed the wheelchair through the tunnel to the main hospital.
"Gama gapa," Everly yelled, recognizing the surgical floor.
"Hi princess," Teddy smiled, coming out of a patient room.
"Up," Everly asked.
"You can come up," Teddy agreed, picking up the little girl, "mommy put pretty braids in your hair."
"Auntie Nee," Everly said.
"Did auntie Annie come do your hair this morning," Teddy asked.
"Mommy," Everly pointed.
"And mommy's two," Teddy smiled, "you match."
"Annie hung out with her while I showered before rounds," Allison said, "then she was braiding Everly's hair and I begged her to do mine when it was wet. She's been quiet. Is she okay? Quiet Annie is never good."
"Some stuff her and Chris have been putting off with Leslie's estate," Teddy replied.
"If anything ever happens to you and dad," Allison replied, "we have a will and stuff for Ev and to protect her."
"Dad and I need to update because you and Leo aren't kids anymore," Teddy replied, "but the three of you share evenly. If something had happened Annie and Josh would have stepped in that was decided when you were born and put in writing when we adopted Leo. Meg and Nathan were our back up. Dad and I are back up for Annie's kids with Chris and Jenna."
"Nee and Josh then you and dad," Allison said, "absolutely not his family."
"It's all documented," Teddy asked.
"It is," Allison replied, "we used one of those kits and got it notarized when she was about 6 months old."
"Your sister first," Teddy asked, they had told Allison to do it but never confirmed that they did.
"Age," Allison said, "they have their kids. Heather isn't a ton older, it's Nee and kids."
"We picked them for the age factor two," Teddy said, "and your sister will always fight for family."
"She will," Allison agreed.
"Gama play," Everly asked.
"We can find something to play with," Teddy agreed.
"Park please," Everly asked.
"No," Teddy replied, "we can go for a walk outside."
"Swings," Everly tried.
"No," Allison replied.
"Please," Everly begged.
"It's not safe right now," Allison said.
Owen joined them.
"Gapa hug," Everly asked.
"Come here," he said, taking the child from Teddy.
"What am I," Teddy laughed.
"Gama," Everly smiled.
"What are you doing today," Owen asked.
"Outside please," Everly asked.
"We can go outside," Owen agreed.
"Dad," Allison warned.
"For a walk," Owen said.
"In her chair," Allison said.
"With the bracing it's best," Owen agreed, "what did Link say today?"
"We can go home tomorrow," Allison said, "we need to go home."
"You do," Teddy agreed.
"We'll help," Owen said, "are you working next week?"
"No," Allison replied, "not until May. We know I should be but we didn't know how she would do. Ava might need her next Saturday shift covered and I'll probably take it because Ash is home but other than that no."
"Do you need help," Owen asked.
"A bit," Allison admitted, "we think we've budgeted but it's tight."
"What can we do," Teddy asked, "groceries, meals?"
"Ash's mom dropped off meals," Allison said, "groceries would help."
"Costco trip or are we doing an order," Teddy asked.
"Costco order," Allison asked.
"Log in and order what you want on my account," Teddy replied.
They pushed Everly's wheel chair outside to the garden area.
"Flowers," Everly smiled pointing to the tulips.
"Those are tulips," Allison replied, "what colours do you see?"
"Red, lellow, pink," Everly said.
"Red, yellow and pink," Teddy said.
"Lets play I spy," Allison suggested.
"I spy something that is blue," Owen started.
"Mommy," Everly pointed to Allison's shirt.
"Mommy is wearing blue today," Owen agreed.
Everly wasn't buying the came or being in her chair.
"Out," Everly demanded trying to push herself out of the wheelchair making Allison grateful for the seatbelt.
"Stay there," Allison said, "it's not safe for your hips right now."
"No," Everly whined.
"We need to protect your hips," Allison said, "we can keep exploring or go in and find some lego."
"Lo go," Everly pouted.
"Lets go find the lego," Allison agreed.
Allison pushed Everly back into the Peds building and stopped to sign out a bin of lego at the nurses station.
"Hi princess," Ava greeted, "what are you going to build."
"Walk," Everly demanded.
"We have a one track mind today," Allison said.
"How are you doing," Ava asked putting an arm around her friend.
"We need to go home," Allison said.
"Have you left at all," Ava asked.
"Half an hour to go get a couple things but I can't leave her," Allison said, "she needs me here."
"When do you go home," Ava asked.
"Tomorrow," Allison said, "I'm exhausted."
"Tea, coffee," Ava asked.
"Home," Allison said, "my own bed. Things set up for her to do in the wheel chair. Normal food."
Ava hugged her, "Allie breathe. This is hard this has been scary and I'm not her mom."
"I hate seeing her hurt and feeling like I failed her," Allison whispered, "I'm not okay."
"I'm on my lunch break," Ava said, "I can hang out with you guys, see if your mom can hang out with Ev and we can grab coffee and talk what do you need?"
"To go home and take Ev home," Allison replied.
"You said tomorrow," Ava said, "24 hours. Can I grab my lunch and sit with you?"
"Please," Allison said.
Asher came in after work and stopping at home for a shower.
"Daddy," Everly yelled, seeing Asher.
"How was your day," Asher asked.
"We can go home tomorrow," Allison said, "her CBC is almost normal, the images look good."
"Cbc," Asher asked.
"Her blood count," Allison replied, "the infection is almost gone, the last dose of the IV antibiotics goes in while she sleeps tonight and then we can go home."
"Are you ready to go home," Asher asked Everly.
"Charlie," Everly said.
"We will play with Charlie," Asher agreed.
"I need our bed," Allison whispered, "I can't sleep in her bed or on the fold out another night."
"You go home tonight and I'll stay," Asher replied.
"You work tomorrow," Allison said.
"I've gone home the last three," Asher replied.
"Because you have to work," Allison said.
"You need a break," Asher said, "even when we get home she's going to need 24/7 care."
"I did some set up and organising while she napped," Allison said, "Annie is going to come on her Friday's and give me a hand and Nisha is going to bring Khitam over a few times. But after next week she can go back to school which will give me 3 hours 3 days a week."
"Allie why don't you take a walk," Asher suggested, "you haven't had time on your own in what 3 days?"
Allison nodded, "it's not fair to you and Ev."
"It's not fair to you to be here with her 24/7 and never breathe," Asher said, "go take a walk and breathe. Babe you need to breathe."
"But," Allison said.
"She's with me," Asher replied, "she's not alone. Allison you have to stop trying to be super mom. You need to take a break, you're no good to any of us this wound up. Allison go take a break. An hour. Ev and I are going to play a game and you are going to take a break."
"I never take breaks," she said.
"You normally get time though," he said, 'when you run or dance."
"She should be asleep for my dance class tonight," Allison whispered.
"Go," Asher said, "run home and grab your stuff and go to class. You need the break to dance Allie."
"I can't," Allison whispered, "I'd be a bad mom."
"No," Asher assured, "you have to take care of your mental heath so you can be here for Everly and I."
"I feel guilty," Allison said.
"She'll be asleep your class isn't till 8:30," Asher said, "Allie you have to get out of this room."
"We went for a walk today," Allison argued.
"No," Asher said, "leave at 8. She'll be asleep by 7:30."
"What will you do," Allison asked.
"I need to study for my code test," Asher said, "I have my ipad. I can do it while Ev sleeps. Allie you need to look after yourself."
"I'd be a bad mom," Allison said.
"No you're going to work out, you'll be back by 10," Asher replied.
"If she wakes up," Allison said.
"I'm here," Asher said, "she's happy with whatever's on the ipad now."
"Mickey Mouse Clubhouse," Allison said, "I know no pacifying with the device but I just can't play the distract me game right now."
"This is why you need a break," Asher said, "it's a dance class she'll be asleep."
"If she wakes up scared and I'm not here," Allison said, "she can't that's too scary."
"But I am here," Asher replied, "I will be here and I can calm her down. Allison you're not letting me do anything. You need to take a step back and share the load with me. You can't do this! You need a break."
"It's my fault Ash," Allison snapped, "all of this is my fault. I wasn't watching the incisions. I wasn't careful enough when I was pregnant. I did this. It's my fault. I was the one who was supposed to make her safe and healthy and I didn't. So I have to be perfect, I can't leave or breathe or take a break because I didn't do enough. I haven't done enough to care for her and protect her. It's my fault."
"Allie," Asher sighed, " this isn't you. You did everything right. It just happens. She's loved and happy and safe. Allie you're at your breaking point and going to spiral. Go tonight."
"I can't do their questions and poor you tonight," Allison said.
"You're taking a break," Asher said, "just breathe and catch your breath. What about a run?"
"Too tired," Allison said, "I'm so tired."
"I know," he said, "one more night."
"One more," she said, "tomorrow can we just have a really quiet night?"
"Home, you can have a bubble bath, a movie on the couch and sleep in our bed," Asher agreed.
"I need to go home," Allison whined.
"I know," he said, "we need to go home. One more night."
"Mommy, daddy," Everly called.
"What do you need princess," Asher asked.
"I'm hungry," Everly said.
"Your dinner is coming soon," Asher replied, "we're going to eat and mommy is going to go for a walk."
"Ash," Allison hissed.
"Allie we need some time Ev and I," Asher said, "go for a walk."
"I'll find dinner for us," Allison said.
"Walk first," Asher said, "what do you want to do while we wait for your dinner princess?"
"I'm going for a quick walk I guess," Allison said, "can I have a hug Ev?"
"Yes," Everly said.
Allison gave Everly a quick hug then left the room.
"Okay princess you and me," Asher said, "what do you want to do?"
"Walk," Everly demanded.
"We can't today," Asher said, "4 weeks."
"Now," Everly whined.
"No," Asher said, "we can play lego, draw, your dollies."
"Walk," Everly pouted.
"Not a choice," Asher answered, "lego, draw, dollies, puzzle."
"Walk," Everly tried again, "please daddy."
"Not today," Asher said, "lego or drawing?"
"Walk," Everly whined trying to get her dad to give in.
"Lego or drawing," Asher said, offering Everly the lego box and the basket of crayons and paper.
"Lo go," Everly pouted.
"Okay," Asher said, "what should we build?"
"Princess castle," Everly said.
"Let's build a castle," Asher agreed pouring the lego in Everly's lap and grabbing the base plate for her to build on. Together they built a castle out of lego making Everly smile and giggle.
Allison came back with dinner for her and Asher from the hospital cafeteria.
"Are you having fun," Allison asked.
"Yes," Everly said, "look mommy."
"Did you build a castle," Allison asked.
"Yes," Everly smiled, "we go there."
"We can go see a castle one day," Allison agreed.
"How was your walk," Asher asked.
"I needed that," Allison replied, "have you had dinner princess?"
"No," Everly complained.
Just then her dinner was dropped off. Allison cleared off Everly's tray table and helped her get set up to feed herself, cutting up her chicken and opening her fruit cup and juice box.
"We'll all eat together," Asher said grabbing the take out containers once Everly had started eating.
The three of them ate together, for the first time in days feeling like a family and enjoying being together rather than just surviving.