Lost At Sea

I'm sitting on my Ralph Lauren teddy bear towel counting seashells when suddenly a football hits my head.

I turn around to see my brother burst into laughter.

"Steven!" I scream, touching the sore spot on my head. It was one of those waterproof footballs but it still hurt.

"Sorry, didn't see you there!" He laughs with Jeremiah.

I look down to see the seashell Susannah had given me this summer was now broken thanks to my brother. What once was a beautiful white and pink conch shell was now scattered into a million pieces on my towel.

"You broke my favorite one!" Tears well up in my eyes.

"Uh oh, watch out." He laughs. "Belly's going to cry!"

I find the football next to me then I launch it at my brother aggressively. I could tell they were impressed by my throw. It was the same summer Conrad had taught me how to throw the perfect spiral. Who knew it would come in handy for a moment like this?

"Hey, watch it!" Steven ducks and Jere catches the football before it can hit him.

"Dang, nice throw Bells!" Jere compliments me which makes me feel better.

I stick my tongue out at Steven with satisfaction.

My brother just rolls his eyes in defeat. "Whatever."

They go back to ignoring me and throwing the football.

I scoop the broken pieces of the conch shell in my hands and I walk over to the water to give them back to the ocean. I didn't want Susannah to see. I didn't want to hurt her feelings since she was the one who had given the shell to me. I stand up and I cross my arms to watch them pieces slowly drift away as I look out over the water.

And that's when I see him. Standing on his surfboard and riding a wave with his dark hair dripping into his eyes. He had been out there for hours practicing tricks he had learned at surf camp. He was getting really good at it too. I watch him in awe, wishing I could be that good at something. He made it look easy. He made everything look easy and it was hard to look away. How could someone be so good at everything?

"Why don't you take a picture so it lasts longer?" Steven teases me as he catches me in the act.

He throws the football to Jere and they both laugh at me.

"Shut up, Steven." I say under my breath.

"Make me." Steven sticks out his tongue.

"Hey, let's boogie board." Jeremiah says, grabbing his board. Steven drops the football and grabs his.

I pause. "Can I come?"

Jeremiah looks at Steven, scratching his neck. "Sorry Bells, we only brought two today."

"Oh." I go back to sit on my towel. "Okay."

I try not to pout or else my brother would make fun of me for being a crybaby. I watch my brother and Jeremiah laugh as they run into the water with their boogie boards and they make a huge splash. Then I go back to counting my seashell collection and watching Conrad surf.

"Yo, Steve." Jere says as they walk out of the water a half hour later. "Cute girls. Twelve o'clock."

Jeremiah nods at a few girls swimming in the ocean laughing. They looked older than us but they were pretty. I wonder if Conrad had noticed them out there.

"I dare you to swim out to where those cute girls are." Jeremiah teases Steven. "And ask for their numbers."

They weren't terribly far but I could tell it was far enough that it made my brother uncomfortable. Steven grips the boogie board tightly and looks back at Jere.

"I mean unless you're too chicken." Jeremiah winks, challenging him.

"Shut up." Steven says. "I'm not chicken."

Jere shrugs. "Then what are you waiting for?"

Steven hesitates as he looks back out at the group of girls swimming in the open ocean. "That's pretty far, dude."

"Not really." Jere laughs. "Besides, what more motivation do you need than a bunch of hot chicks in bikinis?"

"Dude, they're like two years older than us."

"That hasn't stopped us before." Jere jokes.

"Sorry bro, it's not worth it unless money is on the line." My brother laughs.

"Oh come on, you're no fun." Jere rolls his eyes. "Scaredy cat."

My brother's face turns red. "Why don't you do it yourself?"

I could tell my brother was embarrassed and as I look out at the water, I realize this is the moment. The moment I had been waiting for. To prove myself to the boys. A moment to break out of the mold of being Steven's little sister no one wanted to play with or invite to places. I always felt like an outsider because I was the only girl but this was my time to shine. My time to prove that I was one of them and that I could do hard things. That I belonged just as much as they did. I stand up.

"I'll do it." I volunteer, walking up to them.

They both look at me like they had forgotten I was there.

"Do what?" Steven eyes me, sitting down on his towel as Jeremiah sits down on his.

"I'll swim out there." I put my hands on my hips. A power position.

"No way." Steven laughs like it was some kind of joke. "That's too far for your little legs. Not a chance."

And that's when I start to get frustrated at him. It was like brothers are built-in bullies doubting you all the time.

"I wasn't asking for your permission, Steven."

"I don't know, Bells." Jeremiah looks past me. "I think your brother is right about this one. It is far."

"But you just dared him to do it." I look at Jeremiah.

"I know but-" Jeremiah starts but interrupt him.

"But what? Just because I'm a girl you think I can't do it?"

Jere doesn't answer me and I can tell he is impressed that I have the guts to actually do it when my brother won't. He just looks at Steven.

"Belly, don't be dumb." Steven rolls his eyes. "He was joking. No one is swimming out that far, okay?"

"But I'm a good swimmer." I defend myself.

"Yeah right." Steven laughs. "In the kiddy pool."

"Whatever." I roll my eyes. "You're just mad that I could actually beat you at something."

Steven glares at me.

Jeremiah tries to hide his smile. "She got you there."

"It's not up for discussion, alright?" Steven shakes his head at us. "You're not going. Mom would kill me."

I look out at the girls. It felt like they were drifting farther and farther away. For a second, I feel scared that Steven might be right. That it was too far of a swim but I also knew I wouldn't get an opportunity like this again. And I wasn't going to let my brother make a fool out of me. I had to be brave. I had my mind made up. I was doing it.

"Too bad." I cross my arms as I stand above them. "I'm doing it and I want something in return."

Steven and Jere exchange an amused look.

"If I swim out that far, I want to be included more." I look at them. "And I want to go on overnight fishing trips with you guys."

Steven laughs. "That's not happening. Boys only. Sorry."

I look to Jere and he hesitates. He can see it in my eyes how much it would mean to me to tag along with them. He takes a moment to answer.

"Okay, Bells." Jere nods, agreeing to the deal. "Show us what you got."

Steven glares at him. "Dude, what the hell?"

"Relax." Jere puts a hand on his shoulder then he looks back up at me. "But if you do this you need to put on a lifejacket or both of our moms will kill us. Okay, Bells?"

"Okay." I smile.

"It doesn't count if she wears a lifejacket." Steven scoffs then he looks at me. "And I know my sister won't do it without her precious unicorn lifejacket, will you sis?"

They both laugh at me and that's when I've had enough. I walk back to my towel and Steven thinks that I'm quitting.

"What a crybaby." He whispers to Jere, relieved that I wasn't about to show him up. "I knew she wouldn't do it."

But I wasn't quitting. I was getting ready. I take a deep breath as I take off my pink glasses and I throw on my swimming goggles to replace them. I was grateful my hair was in braids. At least it would be out of my face and make this a little easier. Then I turn back around and I trudge past them with determination. I don't show them how scared I am. If they saw that, it was all over and they would never let me live it down. Never. Especially Steven.

"Watch me." I say as I walk past the two of them. "I don't need a life jacket anyways."

"Belly?" Steven calls after me but I ignore him. "Belly!"

Jere just laughs and claps. "Go, Bells!"

"Belly, come on!" Steven groans. "It was a joke!"

I don't listen to him as I continue to enter the water because that was the thing. I was tired of being the brunt of his jokes. I was determined to prove myself to them and to myself. I was a good swimmer. I knew I could do it.

By the time I was waist deep into the water, Conrad walks up to Steven and Jeremiah. He stabs his surfboard in the sand and he runs a hand through his wet hair.

"What are you guys up to?" He asks them as he downs a water bottle.

"Belly's about to show Steven up!" I hear Jere laugh and slap Steven on the back. Steven doesn't laugh though.

Jere's comment gives me the boost of confidence I need. I wasn't giving up now. Not with all three of them watching me. I walk into the water until my feet can't touch the ground then I take the leap and I swim my way over to the group of girls.

"What did you guys dare her to do?" is the last thing I hear Conrad say and he almost sounds worried.

I had never been in the open ocean before. Not like this. It was scary at first to feel so exposed. To be out here alone then I found myself loving every second. As I swim, I admire the ocean life beneath me through my goggles. It was a whole other world out here filled with bright coral reefs, fish and sea turtles, and the sunlight cascading through the water creating the prettiest shade of blue. I felt like a mermaid immersed in a beautiful new world.

But the one thing I wasn't prepared for was how strong the waves were out here. The further I got, the harder it got. The techniques I had learned in swimming classes were nothing compared to being out here in the real ocean. Another thing I hadn't thought about was how blurry my vision was without my prescription glasses. It didn't help that my swimming goggles kept fogging up too but I didn't let it get to me. Just keep swimming, I tell myself. Just keep swimming like Finding Nemo.

I knew if I were to give up they would never let me forget it so I just keep my head down and swim straight ahead.

I was getting tired so I take a moment to pause and breathe in the water. Swimming in the open ocean was no joke. It was a full body workout and I could tell my muscles weren't conditioned for it. I slide my foggy swimming goggles up so I can see better and I turn around to see how far I'd come. To flip the bird at my brother for how much he had doubted me. I knew that would get a laugh out of Jeremiah and Conrad.

But that's when I see them.

The group of girls laughing and swimming in the opposite direction of where I was heading. They head for the shore and that's when it hits me. I was nowhere near them. Somehow I had swam out too far in a completely different direction. Had I passed the group of girls without even realizing it? Sometimes when I swam I kept my head down and I would lose track of how long I had been swimming. It was like I was somewhere else. And I was. I was completely off track. Totally lost at sea.

"Belly!" Someone shouts my name from the shore.

I look past the girls to search for the boys on the shore but it's no use because everyone looks like small dots. I can't make out where they are or where the voice is coming from.

"Belly!" I hear the distant voice call out my name again. It looks like someone is in the water heading towards me. "Belly, I'm coming to get you!"

I open my mouth to respond to the voice calling my name. Was it my brother? But I get hit with a wave. I struggle to stay afloat as I swallow mouthfuls of salt water. I start to cough then I get hit with another wave and my tired body gets plunged into the water. I rise to the surface to catch my breath and I start to pant as the rough waters toss me around. I hold up an arm to try to wave. To show the boys where I am. To get someone's attention. But I know deep down that if I can hardly see them they can hardly see me.

And that's when the fear really starts to kick in.

I desperately look around at my surroundings. There were no boats. No surfers. No swimmers. I was alone. Completely and utterly alone out here and I start to panic. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. Steven was right. I shouldn't have made this stupid bet.

I start to swim back to the shore because it is the only logical thing I can think to do but I keep getting hit with waves and currents that make me lose my sense of direction. My tired body starts to shut down and I have to force myself to keep going. Just keep swimming, I think. Don't give up. Prove them wrong. But that's when a stronger wave takes me and my limp body surrenders to it.

"Belly!" The voice starts to get closer. They keep repeating my name but I don't respond. I can't. I can hardly keep my eyes open as my energy fades. "Belly, I'm almost there! Just stay where you are!"

I feel myself start to sink in the water as I lose control. And it's not long until I feel strong arms lift me up out of the water. They set me down on something stiff. It felt like a surfboard as we bobbed in the water. And I shiver as the warm arms wrap around me trying to help me.

"Belly?" A terrified voice whispers. A hand removes wet hair sticking to my face. "Belly, can you hear me?"

And when I open my eyes, the first thing I see is him.

Conrad. The sun illuminates his face and body as he holds me. I'm sitting upright in his arms and our faces are inches apart. His hair and eyelashes are soaking wet and his eyes looks scared. Like out of his mind scared. I start to cough up more salt water and I see his mouth is moving. He is saying something to me but I can't hear a word. I can barely see or hear him. Everything is blurry. I look up at the blue sky past him then I close my eyes again, leaning my head into his shoulder. My body had no energy left.

His warm and strong arms tighten around me.

"Don't worry, Belly." He whispers. "It's okay. I got you. Let's go home."

He stays with me and he pushes me back to the shore on the surfboard. Occasionally I'd open my eyes as I faded in and out to see him checking on me.

"We're almost there." He would nod at me.

And he doesn't stop saying it. He repeats it over and over again to comfort me. To calm me down. And I believe every word because it was coming from him. I believe him each time he says it more than the last like nothing bad could happen to me as long as he was here. I felt safe with him as he guided me back to shore. Back to safety. Conrad Fisher was my safe harbor.

As soon as we're back, he scoops me up in his arms like I weigh nothing and he carries me to my towel. I hear him say something to Steven and Jeremiah then they run off towards the beach house. Then he leans down to put his ear against my chest. He starts to do chest compressions and I cough up some salt water. I finally open my eyes, feeling disoriented.

"Conrad?" I whisper.

He hovers above me on the towel and lets out a deep breath when he sees that I'm responsive. He looks relieved and shaken up all at once. He looked worried.

"Thank God." He exhales then he shakes his head at me. "Belly, what were you thinking?"

I cough up more salt water as I gain consciousness.

"You should never swim out that far without a lifejacket." He tells me. "I don't even do that. Are you crazy?"

My eyes start to burn from the salt water but also from the tears that start to form behind my eyes. "I-I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You could have gotten hurt. You could have-" He stops himself as he looks down at me. He could tell that I was about to cry. He takes a moment to cool down then he gently helps me sit up as I cough up more salt water and his warm hand rub my back.

"Don't ever do that again, okay?" He looks into my eyes, smoothing wet hair out of my face with his other hand. "I'm serious, Isabel."

The tone of his voice reminds me of the conversation we had at the mall after I had gone off alone to the glass blower shop. The day he had yelled at me then he apologized by gifting me the glass unicorn for my birhday. I nod as we hold each other's gaze.

"I won't." I sniffle and wipe my wet nose as I look at him.

"Promise?" Conrad holds out his pinky.

"I promise." My voice still sounds like I'm going to cry and I make a pinky promise with them. Then I look past him at the empty beach towels around us. "Where is everyone?"

"I told Steven and Jere to go get our moms." Conrad says. "I wasn't sure if you were going to be okay or not."

"Oh, great." The tears start to fall. "I'm sure my brother is getting a kick out of this."

"Actually, he was pretty worried about you." Conrad pauses. "We all were."

I look around at the rest of the beach to find almost everyone looking over and staring at us. I look away, feeling the most embarrassed I had ever been.

"Here, drink this. You're dehydrated." Conrad hands me his water bottle and I take it from him. "And hey don't worry, okay? Half of these people you'll never see again."

I was surprised he had paid enough attention to notice how embarrassed I was but then again, nothing got past Conrad. Who wouldn't be embarrassed after doing what I just did? I feel stupid as I look down at the sand and I drink the water.

"So are you going to tell me why you did it?"

I look at him in surprise. "They didn't tell you?"

Conrad shakes his head no.

I sigh, feeling stupid. "I made a deal with them that if I did this they would let me tag along with you guys more. That you guys would take me on overnight fishing trips."

Conrad tries not to laugh as he looks out at the water.

"What's so funny?" I glare at him.

He just laughs. "Nothing."

I raise my brows as he looks back at me.

"You don't have to risk your life to tag along with us, Belly. All you have to do is ask." He holds my gaze.

"Well, whenever I do ask, Steven and Jere throw a fit."

"It's not up to them." He shrugs. "I'm the oldest. I'm the leader. It's up to me. And I don't mind."

"Really?" I smile.

He smirks. "Really."

I just smile full of victory as I look at him. So I hadn't lost the bet after all. I felt like a winner. Take that, Steven and Jere!

Conrad hesitates. "I mean, we would have to get Laurel's permission for any overnight trips but I think it could be fun with just the four of us."

"Good luck with that." I laugh. "My mom is no fun."

"We can still try if it means that much to you."

And the way he says it makes me feel so special. Like the way Susannah made me feel. He smiles at me.

"Thank you, Conrad." I smile back at him. "Thank you for coming out to get me."

He holds my gaze and he is about to say something but my mom's worried voice approaches us.

"Belly!" Laurel runs. "Oh my god! Belly, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I rub my eyes before anyone can see.

My mom kneels beside Conrad and she puts a hand up to my forehead. She looks as white as a ghost like any worried mother would be. Susannah, Jeremiah and Steven approach us too.

"She's okay, Laura." Conrad says to her. "She's tough just like you. She's a fighter."

Conrad winks at me as he stands up and I smile.

"Thank you for going out to get her, Connie." Laurel smiles at him with appreciation then looks back down at me with disapproval. "What happened to wearing life jackets, Isabel?"

"I'm sorry." I say as she helps me stand up. "Please don't be mad, mom. I'm sorry."

Conrad turns around to walk back to the beach house. He gives Jeremiah and Steven a look and they follow him. Susannah starts to point her finger at Steven and Jere and I feel sorry for them.

Were they in trouble because of me?

"You're only sticking to swimming pools from now on." My mom helps me gather my things. "Okay, Bean?"

I just laugh as she wraps my towel around my shoulders. "Okay, mom."

It was a day I would never forget because it was a day Conrad and I grew closer. It was like the day on the beach with Conrad, Steven, and Jeremiah where I had realized Conrad cared whether I was alive or not. Conrad Fisher cared enough to be the one to come out and rescue me. He had never left my side as he pushed me to shore. And although it was one of the scariest things that had ever happened to me, it was also one of the most romantic things that had ever happened to me. I would never forget the worried look on his face like he was scared to lose me.

Later that night, I lay out my seashell collection before bed and to my surprise, I find the prettiest conch shell in my bag. It was a pattern I'd never seen before and I turn it in my hands mesmerized by it. I go to my brother to thank him for the new shell. I figured he was the one who had snuck it in my bag after breaking my favorite one and after teasing me so much today. But he tells me that it wasn't him. He tells me it was Conrad. He had seen him do it.

And I learn later apparently the one Steven had broken wasn't from Susannah. Conrad had been giving her shells all summer long to give to me. Susannah just didn't want to embarrass him. She said he would be too shy to ever admit it and it does something to my heart to learn it.

Conrad never brings it up and I never ask him about it because when Susannah gives me a new one it was enough for me to know it was actually from him. It was enough for me to know that Conrad paid attention to me. He cared about the things I liked. He cared about me. And that was enough for now. I liked this little game we were playing. I never wanted it to end. It was when my crush on him soared to new heights that summer. It only continued to grow from there.

I keep the conch shell he had given me in a special place in my jewelry box at the beach house where it belongs. Every now and then I would pick it up then put it up to my ear to hear the ocean. To hear Conrad say what he said to me that day. To feel his warm arms wrap around me and guide me back to the shore. It brought me peace and comfort. And I never did forget that day or those words. Memories are like that. They stick with you forever. They stay safely tucked away like old seashell collections and swimming goggles.

"Don't worry, Belly. It's okay. I got you. Let's go home."