Chapter 1: Doubts

You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't"

We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't

Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

"I think she's having an affair," Arizona said over the phone.

"Who?" Teddy asked.

"Callie."

"Callie? Callie Torres, your wife?"

"Of course Callie! Who else would I be talking about?" Arizona impatiently said.

Teddy was quiet on her end for a few moments before asking, "Are you sure, Arizona? We're really talking about the same Callie? Because that woman worships the ground you walk on. Or at least that's how I knew her when I was still there. What makes you think she's having an affair?"

"I don't have concrete proof if that's what you're asking for," Arizona honestly replied. "It's just... Some things are different."

"Like what?"

"Okay. Firstly, we haven't had sex in almost two months. And you know Callie! She's a very sexual person."

Teddy sighed, "Yes, yes. Unfortunately for me, I know that. But don't act like it was just her! If I remember correctly, it was you who kept dragging Callie to on-call rooms even early on in your relationship. While Callie was flirty with you in the hospital, she usually told you what you two could do when you get home. Ha! Salsa dancing, my ass. But you – you took her to the on-call room under the guise of cure for headache that doesn't involve coffee."

Alright, Arizona had to give her that. "Fine! But my point remains. We haven't had sex in at least a month!"

"Ohh-kaaayyy... Is it due to lack of trying though? Maybe you are both just so busy? Or did nobody initiate at all?"

Arizona pondered the other blonde's question. She really had a hard time remembering. "Huh. The last time she initiated, I'm fairly certain I turned her down. I was just so busy with the fellowship then since I was nearing the end." She justified herself. The last time she gave in to Callie's advances when she really needed to focus on practicing for her fellowship was on the last night of their 30-day "break". And oh boy, did she get in trouble with Nicole Herman the next day. She certainly didn't want a repeat of that.

"See? Maybe she hasn't asked again because she knows you're busy. Maybe she's waiting for you to initiate?"

"And I did!" Arizona huffed. "Maybe a week or two weeks ago. She brushed me off! Gave me the cliché excuse of having a headache. A headache, Teddy. Calliope Torres is not the kind of woman to turn down sex for a mere headache."

Teddy said, "Well maybe she was really feeling ill? Other than the decrease in your bedroom activities, any other stuff making you think your wife is having an affair? Because it still sounds absurd to me, Arizona."

"Okay. Another thing is she is always covered up at home."

"What do you mean?"

"When we started sleeping at each other's place, Callie was always wearing a tank top and skimpy bottoms, be it short-shorts or lace boy-cut undies. You know how my wife is just warm all the time. She's my personal heater! Then when we got married she was usually in nighties or those silk slips. But now – now she's always wearing wide shirts and sweatpants at home, even when we go to sleep! That's not how Callie usually dresses around me. And then just a few days ago, I went home earlier than usual and she was in our bathroom applying lotion, naked. But when I walked in, she was suddenly scampering to cover herself up with towel." Arizona took a deep breath before continuing, "What if – what if she's hiding her body from me because she wants to reserve herself for her new love?"

Teddy felt bad for dismissing Arizona's worries. She still didn't think Callie was having an affair, but the things her friend was saying did cause her to wonder what really was happening to her other friend. "I'm sorry, Arizona. That is suspicious."

"That's not even the worst part."

"It's not?"

"No," Arizona said in a small voice. "She frequently leaves the house at night even though she's not scheduled for work. I wouldn't be so suspicious if it wasn't for the fact that she is sneaking out. We're sleeping and then suddenly I feel her slipping out of bed and dressing up really quietly and leave the house just as silent." She took a moment before continuing. "And after the first week that I noticed this, I checked the hospital logs the following day if she had been called away to work or something, but there's been nothing. I even asked some Ortho nurses, but they all said she hadn't been to their wing." She felt herself about to cry. "And she's skittish around me, Teddy. Callie 'rockstar with a scalpel' Torres is acting skittish. She's all boldness and confidence! But now my mere presence makes her jumpy. I observed her, you know. She's not like that around other people in the hospital, just with me."

"Well, you won't know for sure if you don't talk to her, Arizona. And you should. You two really suck at communicating with each other. So I'm now giving you the metaphorical kick in the butt to go talk to your wife."

"I'm scared," Arizona admitted. "I'm scared to ask and confirm that Callie wants someone not me."

"Arizona..." Teddy said with compassion. "Maybe there's a reasonable explanation for this. It doesn't necessarily mean an affair."

But Arizona spoke as if she didn't hear Teddy, "And I'm scared to know for sure, because maybe this is my karma for sleeping with those women."

Teddy sighed, "You told me you two have moved past that. You got back together, right? Again, you're lucky I wasn't there or I would have kicked your ass, best friend status notwithstanding. But if she's cheating on you now – and that's a big IF – I'd hop on the plane the minute you confirm it and I'd give her a good walloping."

"This won't be the same though," Arizona said, still in that pitiful voice. "When I slept with those women, it was just sex. It didn't mean anything; they didn't mean anything. But if Callie is sleeping with someone else, you know it won't be just sex for her. There would be feelings there."

"She slept with Karev, and I'm fairly certain there weren't feelings there," Teddy countered.

Arizona shuddered. She still hated to think that her mentee ever had his grubby paws on her beautiful wife, so she had put that particular information in the deep, dark recesses of her mind. "That was sooo long ago, though. And since then, Callie only slept with people she had feelings for."

"She slept with Mark. Are you telling me you think she had romantic feelings for Mark?" Teddy argued further.

It hurt hearing Mark's name even now. Not just because of him sleeping with Callie when she went to Africa, but he really became a friend – family even – when they had Sofia. "No, maybe not romantic feelings. Or at least I hope not." After all these time, there was still that tiny part of her that wondered if those two were ever in love with each other. But it was a moot point, he was gone. "But he was still someone she trusted with her whole heart."

Teddy had no counter argument against that. She was a firsthand witness how close those two were.

"I'll ask her," Arizona determinedly said. "I'll ask her soon."