Chapter 4

-Bella-

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned. Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. After that, he was in my dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never within reach.

The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and, at first, embarrassing.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of that week. Tyler Crowley was impossible, following me around, obsessed with making amends to me somehow. I tried to convince him what I wanted more than anything else was for him to forget all about it-especially since nothing had actually happened to me-but he remained insistent. He followed me between classes and sat at our now crowded lunch table. Mike and Eric were even less friendly to him than they were to each other, which made me worry that I'd gained another unwelcome fan.

No one seemed concerned about Edward, though I explained over and over that he was the hero-how he had pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed, too. I wondered to myself why no one else had seen him standing so far away, before he was suddenly, impossibly saving my life. With chagrin, I realized the probable cause-no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did. How pitiful.

Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his firsthand account. People avoided him as usual. The Cullens and the Hales sat at the same table as always, not eating (except for Ava), talking only among themselves. None of them, especially Edward, glanced my way anymore. The exception was Ava.

The first few days after the accident, whenever she tried to talk to me, I would only ask her questions about the accident and Edward. She remained firm in what she'd said-that he'd been walking toward me before the accident and was there just in the nick of time. I was disappointed in myself to say that I hadn't been very nice to her that first week, especially after she was so worried about me after the accident.

But the following week I realized that maybe she believed what she was saying, or Edward had told her to keep her story that way. Either way, I needed a friend who hadn't became my friend because I was new, but rather because she wanted to be. We'd grown close through the past month-she'd even been over to my house once or twice. I'd asked her if she wanted to eat lunch at our table, but she had declined, saying that she wanted to sit with her siblings.

It was one day after school, when she'd rode in my truck with me-ignoring the glares that Rosalie sent her-that I asked the question I'd been wanting to ask. "Does your family not like me or something?"

Ava had rolled her eyes and frowned. "My family doesn't like you, but they don't dislike you either. There's not really any positive or negative feelings there. Most of them are neutral."

"Most?"

"Well," Ava trailed off. "Rosalie doesn't really like anybody outside of our family. Edward is different. I'm not sure what he feels, to be honest."

Edward...When he sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. Only now and then, when his fists would suddenly ball up-skin stretched even whiter over the bones-did I wonder if he wasn't quite as oblivious as he appeared.

He wished he hadn't pulled me from the path of Tyler's van-there was no other conclusion I could come to.

I wanted very much to talk to him, or at least ask Ava about him (she wouldn't budge), and the day after the accident I tried. The last time I'd seen him, outside the ER, we'd both been so furious. I still was angry that he wouldn't trust me with the truth, even though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly. But he had in face saved my life, no matter how he'd done it. And, overnight, the heat of my anger faded away into awed gratitude.

He was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. I sat down, expecting him to turn towards me. He showed no sign that he realized I was there.

"Hello, Edward," I said pleasantly, to show him I was going to behave myself.

He turned his head a fraction of an inch toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.

And that was the last contact I'd had with him, though he was there, a foot away from me, every day. I watched him from a distance sometimes, unable to stop myself, in the cafeteria or parking lot. Sometimes I watched from the window as he pulled up outside my house to give Ava a ride home when she didn't feel like driving her own car. I watched as his golden eyes grew perceptibly darker day by day. But in class, I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me. I was miserable. And the dreams continued.

Mike was miserable about the snow having melted and not having been able to have his epic snowball battle, but he was pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible. Jessica had asked if I was okay with her inviting Mike to the girls' choice dance. I'd assured her I didn't mind and I only viewed Mike as a friend, nothing more.

It was then I'd had to reveal that I wasn't planning on going to the dance. She'd tried to convince me, but I had firmly kept to my lie that I was going to be out of town. But the next day, she was silent and I slowly wondered if Mike had turned her down for the dance. I figured it was true when she sat as far away from Mike as possible and he kept unusually quiet.

He was still quiet as he walked me to class, and as I sat next to Edward-who was still ignoring me-he stood by the desk and looked down at his feet.

"So," he said, shuffling his sneakers. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well…" he floundered as he examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. "I told her I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" I let disapproval color my tone, though I was relieved he hadn't given her an absolute no.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook my resolve.

"I was wondering if...well, if you might be planning to ask me."

I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. But I saw, from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction.

"Mike, I think you should tell her yes," I said.

"Did you already ask someone?" Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes flickered in his direction?

"No," I assured him. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Mike demanded.

I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented, so I quickly made new plans.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained. I needed to get out of town anyway-it was suddenly the perfect time to go. Maybe Ava wouldn't mind going with me...

"Can't you go some other weekend?"

"Sorry, no," I said. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer-it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. I sighed and opened my eyes when Mr. Banner began talking.

And Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his black eyes.

I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.

"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Banner.

I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me-just because he'd happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.

"Bella?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than for just a few short weeks.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked into his too-perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, an unintentional note of petulance in my voice.

His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was gritting my teeth. It was never this hard to talk to Ava. I waited.

"Then what do you want Edward? Want me to stop being friends with Ava like you stopped talking to me?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

I opened my eyes. His face was very serious.

"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice guarded.

"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me. It's fine being friends with my sister, but it wouldn't be good if we were friends."

My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before. Trust me.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," I hissed through my teeth. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" The word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Regret for what?"

"For not just letting that stupid van squish me."

He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief.

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do," I snapped.

"You don't know anything." He was definitely mad.

I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my jaw against all the wild accusations I wanted to hurl at him. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. I meant to sweep dramatically out of the room, but of course I caught the toe of my boot on the doorjamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I signed and bent to pick them up. He was there; he'd already stacked them into a pile. He handed them to me, his face hard.

"Thank you," I said icily.

His eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome," he retorted.

I straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to Gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. We'd moved on to basketball. My team (which luckily had Ava on it) never passed me the ball, so that was good, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me-specifically Ava. She was always good natured about it and laughed at my clumsiness. Today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Edward. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

It was a relief, as always, to leave. Ava and I hadn't made plans for that afternoon, and I almost ran to the truck when class was over; there were just so many people I wanted to avoid. The truck had suffered only minimal damage in the accident. I'd had to replace the taillights, and if I'd had a real paint job, I would have touched that up. Tyler's parents had to sell their van for parts.

I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I realized it was just Eric. I started walking again.

"Hey, Eric," I called.

"Hi, Bella."

"What's up?" I said as I was unlocking the door. I wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took me by surprise.

"Uh, I was just wondering...if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke on the last word.

"I thought it was girls' choice," I said, too startled to be diplomatic.

"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefaced.

I recovered my composure enough to tell him I was going to be gone and for him to slouch off. Then I heard a low chuckle and turned to see Edward walking past the front of my truck.

I angrily got in the truck and reversed out into the aisle, but Edward was there to slide smoothly in front of me and cut me off while he waited for his family-the five of them walking this way.

Of course it was then that Tyler walked over to my truck and asked me to the spring dance. I was annoyed when I gave him the same answer as everyone else-that I was going to be in Seattle that weekend. It wasn't really his fault, but Mike and Eric had used up my quota of patience for the day.

Edward was speeding away, laughing, before I could press on the gas pedal to just tap his car. I drove home slowly, carefully, muttering to myself the whole way.

Charlie and I had an awkward conversation at dinner about me not going to the dance. In the end, he was okay with me going to Seattle on my own. But I was still thinking about asking Ava if she wanted to join me.

Ava was a book, music, and anything-geeky lover. She would dress cute and casual for school one day and the next be in a vintage Marvel t-shirt and ripped jeans. I figured she probably wasn't going to the dance, and she would probably much prefer book shopping in the city.

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far as possible from the silver Volvo. I didn't want to put myself in the path of too much temptation and end up owing him a new car. Getting out of the cab, I fumbled with my key and it fell into a puddle at my feet. Of course, when I bent down to get it, Edward was there.

We exchanged some words before he asked.

"I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That was unexpected.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" I asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

I was still stunned. "Why?"

He proceeded to talk about how he was going to be heading there anyway, and then insulted my truck. Of course I naturally got defensive, even if he was correct.

"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. "I can't keep up with you, I thought you said you didn't want to be my friend."

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that that's all cleared up. Now I understand why Ava never explained, you're just too confusing." Heavy sarcasm.

"It would be more...prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella."

His eyes were gloriously intense. "Will you go with me to Seattle?"

I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded, all thoughts of asking Ava to go with me flying away.

He smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really should stay away from me," he warned. "I'll see you in class."

-Ava-

I ran through the forest, headphones in my ears. I needed to get rid of some energy, and a combination of physical exercise and slowly filtering my energy into the forest around me was the easiest way to do so, as I'd discovered in the past month.

Much to Rosalie's intense dislike, Bella and I became friends over the weeks following the car accident. Her and Edward hadn't talked much, if at all, though. But I was just glad to have a friend outside of my family.

I felt...protective over Bella. I felt myself subconsciously reach out through our bond to make sure she was okay, whether it be at school or at her house. It was the bond making me feel that way, but to be honest, Bella was so clumsy that I hardly needed the bond to tell me when she was injured. I'd given her little bits of healing power every so often and it made the bond grow stronger. It was very confusing to me, and I'd spent some nights in Carlisle's study for hours pouring over texts and mythology that could somehow explain my simple fae nature.

Rosalie was, of course, angry that I'd healed her and now had a physical bond with Bella. Jasper and Emmett weren't angry...but they were wary of the situation. Alice, Esme, and Carlisle were completely fine with it; Carlisle used it as a chance to grow his knowledge on my kind-both for personal gain and to help me-while Alice seemed to know what was going to happen and was fine with it. Edward was grateful, yet he was ignoring Bella and making her feel even worse.

I'd had a few choice words with him about how everyone knew he wanted to be friends with her, but all he was doing at the moment was making both her and himself feel worse. It was better just to get over it and become friends with her.

I paused in my running as I reached the top of a mountain that overlooked a broad expanse of forest and, in the distance, the La Push Reservation and the Pacific Ocean. The sight was breathtaking-the water of the Pacific was glittering in the sunlight that filtered through the clouds; a few birds flew around the tops of trees a few miles away. It was peaceful and serene.

I climbed up a tree to get an even better view and settled myself in a crook between two branches, relaxing and letting energy flow from me and into the forest around me. My energy wasn't a positive or negative force, but during releases I had very little control over what it did when it left my body-I could only really control how much left at a time-and it would mostly flatten its surroundings. But when I could let it out whenever I wanted, trees grew a little taller, grass grew a little greener, and flowers bloomed a little brighter.

And as I let out energy bit by bit, I wondered about what would happen with Bella…and with me. I knew I was going to hit my final change within the next year, and I worried that I would be at school or in town when it happened. I was anxious to go through it without an adult fae to guide me, but I knew that Carlisle and the rest of my adoptive family would be there when it happened. But I was just scared...scared of becoming stronger without knowing how to deal with it...scared of changing without my twin there...scared of the pain.

-.-.-.-.-.

Thanks for reading! This chapter was a bit weird (and mostly a filler) because of the fact that in the book it's really just interactions between Edward and Bella. I wanted to fit Ava in there somehow, but I couldn't do much, so there wasn't a lot of interaction between Bella and Ava. I've got some stuff planned for the next few chapters, and I'm excited.

If you liked, please favorite, follow, and REVIEW!

xoxo, Lauren