The morning sun peeked through the peaks of the mountains, surrounding the area as far as the eye could see. The stony gray walls of the spires showed splashes of dark green with the conifers, stark white with the patches of snow, and light brown with the local wildlife peacefully living their own lives. The dawning sky shone pink and yellow.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" a young man with quaffed hair and a navy sweater commented. He turned and smiled proudly. "And it's the location of our newest season of Total Drama! I'm Topher O'Neal, here to provide you with even more of the greatest show to hit television!"
Topher trekked across a mountain path, his footsteps making soft crunches against the frosty ground.
"I'm here at gorgeous Mamahtawiyiniw Peaks: a mountain range largely untouched by human interference. What better place to let our contestants run loose and do something stupid?" Topher grinned. "This season, fourteen new players will compete against one another in a battle for glory, power, and most importantly, one million dollars!"
He arrived at a plateau surrounded by trees. Three wooden buildings and a campfire pit provided a rudimentary facsimile of civilization.
"As always, players will be split into teams, compete in challenges, and vote out their competition in hopes of being the last one standing," he continued. "As we speak, our players are getting to know one another as they ascend to begin their journeys. Why don't we check in on them and see what's going on?"
Within a pale blue enclosed ski lift car, seven teenagers milled about. A tall boy with glasses stood by the window, making a rectangular shape with his fingers and peeking through. He tamed his wavy orange hair into a ponytail, and dressed in casual fashion.
"Yes, the scenery here will do splendidly," he said to himself. "A perfect location for filming. I'll have to make the most of it. One doesn't get this kind of opportunity every day."
"Mm, it's something different, perhaps," a girl claimed as she approached. "However, the colors hardly stand out. There isn't enough to break up the monotony. Nothing but the same mountains as far as I can see from here. I give the location 63 points. Not quite a failing grade, but it's pushing it."
"Oh, we have an expert here, do we?" the red-haired boy grinned, adjusting his glasses.
"Please. I have enough self-awareness to know better than to call myself an expert," the girl dismissed. "However, I must always keep a critical eye. As a tutor, it's important to stay sharp and keep any and all factors in mind. Each student learns differently, after all."
The girl stood with her arms folded. Her auburn hair reached down to her shoulders, and she dressed in sensible clothes.
"Heh. Figures a filmmaker like me would run into a critic as soon as the game starts," the boy jested.
"I'm a tutor, not a critic," the girl corrected. "Your listening skills get 35 points. A failing grade and then some."
"If you say so," the boy grinned. "Either way, nice to meet you. The name's Ramsay. Hopefully we can boost my score down the line, eh?"
"My name is Cath," the girl nodded. "You claim to be a filmmaker. Small independent projects, I'm sure. I've seen my share of those, but they rarely impress. Whoever said restriction breeds creativity hasn't had to sit through my school's indie film festivals. The best one in last year's showing was worth 72 points, and 24 of those are because it played with my expectations effectively. To say nothing of the acting." She shuddered.
"Yeah, well, I take things a little more seriously than that," Ramsay smiled.
"You don't strike me as the type who takes anything seriously," Cath noted.
"Nothing but my movies," Ramsay claimed.
"Do you count this television appearance as one of your movies, then?" Cath wondered.
"Guess we'll have to see," Ramsay shrugged.
Cath looked unimpressed.
On the other side of the car, a chubby boy sprawled across an entire row of seats. His hair looked like it hadn't been tended to in months, and he wore a cat-eared hoodie and sweatpants. A petite girl watched over him intently. Her dark hair had green highlights, and she wore an oversized shirt with a cartoon frog on it.
"And here we see the common house cat in his natural habitat," the girl observed. "As cats do, he appears to be napping while taking up as much space as possible. Fascinating."
"Do you do this with every cat you come across?" the boy pouted.
"No, but you're bigger than most cats I've seen," the girl giggled. "Actually, I'm more into amphibians myself. Froggies and salamanders and axolotls, oh my!"
"Nyah," the boy dismissed. "In that case, leave me alone. I'm just a regular ol' cat trying to mind my own business." He stretched his limbs. "Go find a frog somewhere else."
The girl scanned the ski lift car. "I don't see any. This place isn't a suitable habitat for them anyway. No sources of natural water anywhere!"
The boy shut his eyes and buried his face in his arms.
"Hey, come on, I'm trying my best over here!" the girl whined. "I know not everyone loves herpetology as much as I do, but..."
"I thought herpetology was lizards," the boy mentioned.
"Aha! That's a common misconception," the girl explained proudly. "It's the study of reptiles and amphibians. But reptiles are icky, so... Anyway, I'm Hye-Jin."
"Bless you," the boy droned.
"I know, I know, it's not easy for everyone to pronounce," Hye-Jin giggled. "You'll get it eventually. What's your name?"
The boy groaned. "Nico. Now that you know my name, go figure out everyone else's. I'm just trying to have a catnap over here."
"Only if you can say my name right," Hye-Jin challenged.
Nico groaned and tried to go back to sleep. Hye-Jin poked his head.
Separate from the others, a large, serious-looking boy sifted through his backpack.
"Spare blanket. Canteen. Bug spray." he listed.
"It's kind of funny how you're making sure you still have everything," a tall girl smiled as she approached him. "I would think you made sure before you left."
"I did make sure." The boy stood up, towering over even her. "And I'm making sure again."
The boy looked down at the girl dubiously. His short hair went into a taper down the sides of his head. He wore a thick coat, cargo pants, and hiking boots.
"That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but you do you," the girl smiled.
The girl looked up at the boy earnestly. Her braided hair was done into a bun, and she wore a basketball uniform with a number 62 on the jersey.
"Name's Jed," the boy introduced. "You?"
The girl burst into laughter. "Sorry, but you do not look like a Jed. My name's Keanna though. And if you can trust anyone, you can trust me!"
"That so?" Jed snorted. "You got experience in the mountains?"
"My high school is called Dickenson Heights, even though we live in a valley," Keanna mentioned. "I think it's supposed to be ironic. Let me guess: you watch a lot of Discovery Channel?"
"I'm a hunter. Deer, mostly," Jed clarified. "And I'll tell you now: if you aren't prepared, you don't get your mark. That's why I'm making sure everything is prepared. Last thing you want is to have lost your knife when it's life or death."
"I don't think a knife will save you if a whole bear shows up, but then again, if it's you, maybe it will," Keanna bantered.
"Better safe than sorry," Jed claimed.
"One last thing..." Keanna looked at a boy standing in the middle of the cart. "Would it be funny if I pushed him over? Do you think he's prepared for that kind of thing? Or should I just respect his business and leave him be?"
Jed looked at the boy. His face was painted white with black accents and red lips. He wore a black-and-white striped shirt, black pants and shoes, white gloves, and a black bowler hat. He stood in a strange one-legged pose, not moving a muscle.
"Staying perfectly still is a valuable ability," Jed claimed.
"It sounds like you want me to test him by pushing him over," Keanna said mischievously.
"Don't mess with the mime," Jed sighed.
Closely behind the blue ski car, a dusty pink ski car ascended up the mountain. A tall, portly boy cracked his neck eagerly.
"This is going to be one triple-awesome experience, I can feel it," he said to himself.
"My, you wear your zest on your sleeve, dear boy," another boy commented.
"Huh?" The first boy checked his sleeves. "Don't scare me like that, bro. I hate getting stains on my shirt."
"'Tis but nothing. Don't get your sprrrockets in a twist, my boy," the second boy responded.
The first boy had fluffy brown hair and wore a button-up over a tee shirt. He looked over the second boy, who wore a top hat and vest. He also had a waxed, curled mustache.
"I just want to leave a good first impression, you know?" the first boy smiled. He put his hand out to shake. "I'm Tomas. I know I may not look like much, but I'm willing to put in the elbow grease."
"Barnabas Balthazar. Barney, if you please." He tipped his hat, ignoring then handshake. "Steampunk enthusiast and big fan of the show. Stick with me, good sir. You'll go places."
"Hey, right on," Tomas smiled. "As for me, I've got a strong future ahead. I'm planning out my own fast-food joint."
"I... see..." Barney hummed.
"I've been to enough of 'em to know what I want," Tomas continued. "But no place that exists has everything I want! Craft burgers, specialty hot dogs, actually-spicy wings, loaded tots. And I'm going for the high-quality stuff. It's gonna be a whole franchise, man. Everyone's gonna love it, just you wait."
"Rrriveting," Barney trilled. "Best of luck, then."
"Thanks! You too," Tomas grinned. "In, uh, whatever it is steampunks do."
Meanwhile, a heavyset girl approached a muscular boy who held a surfboard.
"If I may ask: where were you planning on using that?" the girl inquired.
"I was under the impression this show was called Total Drama Island," the boy grunted. "What the hell is this mountain crap, anyway?"
"Would it be weird if you used your surfboard as a snowboard?" the girl wondered.
"It wouldn't work, if that's what you're asking," the boy told her.
"I asked if it would be weird," she reiterated.
"It would wreck my board!" the boy insisted.
"You seem apprehensive. I guess it would be weird after all," the girl concluded.
"What's your damage?" the boy winced.
"Do I seem damaged?" the girl asked. "What about me led you to that conclusion?"
"I wouldn't know where to start," the boy claimed.
"So you're an expert on irregularity," the girl concluded. "What is your name?"
"Joshua," the boy answered reflexively. "And wait, what was that about irregularity?"
Joshua's dirty-blond hair fell over his shoulders in dreadlocks. He wore beach-appropriate attire.
"Hm. A disappointingly common name," the girl commented.
"Who the hell are you?!" Joshua exasperated.
"My name, Debbie, is also distressingly normal," the girl lamented. "But I dare not change it. It's one of the few things that make me uniquely me."
Debbie had long, dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, and rectangular glasses. She wore plain, unremarkable clothes.
"Can you go be uniquely you somewhere else?" Joshua requested.
"Where would you suggest?" Debbie asked.
"Anywhere but next to me," Joshua leered.
"Hm... it's an avenue worth exploring," Debbie decided as she meandered around the car.
In the back, a girl with blonde-and-red hair donning skate clothes sat in one of the seats, gazing outside the window.
"Well hey, I don't think I got your name yet, lil' lady," another girl mentioned.
"Huh?" the first girl emoted.
The second girl had light brown hair done in a thick braid which fell down her back, and wore overalls and gingham.
"My name's Wilhelmina," the second girl introduced. "Reckon if we're gonna be teammates, we should get to know each other."
"What, so I have to tell you everything about me, just because you asked?" the first girl scoffed. "What makes you think you have any authority over me?"
"Oh, I'm powerful sorry if that's how I came across," Wilhelmina frowned. "No pressure or nothin'. Just wanted to keep ya company."
"Isn't that just the way it is?" the girl sneered. "People think they know what's 'best' for me. Like they can tell me what to do, how to live my life. Screw that! You know why I signed up for this show? Because my mom said she hoped I never would! Well screw you, Mom! I'll show you how much you think I'll 'regret' this!"
"Oh, uh..." Wilhelmina scratched her head. "In that case, I don't want you to tell me your name, and I don't want you to chat with me."
"Tch. You must really think I'm stupid," the girl scowled.
"No, no, nothin' like that at all!" Wilhelmina promised. "I just wanted to do what made ya comfortable."
"Yeah, because you know more than me about what I want." The girl rolled her eyes.
A third girl put her hand on Wilhelmina's shoulder. "Perhaps you should drop it. She doesn't seem interested."
"That may be, but as teammates, we should..." Wilhelmina trailed off.
"Let her choose the path she walks," the new girl said. "The choice is hers and hers alone."
Wilhelmina turned around to get a better look at this new girl. She had blue hair and round sunglasses, and wore an entirely black outfit, including a face mask.
"I guess ya may be onto somethin' there..." Wilhelmina conceded. "What about you, missy? What can I call you?"
"I have many names," the blue-haired girl claimed. "For simplicity's sake... call me Morgan."
"Put 'er there, Morgan!" Wilhelmina beamed, enthusiastically shaking Morgan's hand. "I'm Wilhelmina! If somethin' needs doin', don't hesitate to let me know, 'kay?" She flexed her bicep and patted it proudly.
"I will keep that in mind... Wilhelmina..." Morgan's gaze seemed to wander elsewhere. After a brief pause, she walked away.
"Ya know, her handshake ain't as strong as I woulda thought," Wilhelmina commented to the first girl, who returned her attention to the window.
The blue ski car stopped at its destination, and the seven riding it exited. They took in the sights and smells of the frosted pines around them as the crisp breeze stung their exposed skin. Errant snowflakes fluttered past them.
"Is someone supposed to greet us?" Keanna wondered.
"Well, if so, they'd better hurry up," Nico frowned. "I'm freezing out here. I just want to curl up by the fireplace..."
"You're dressed the heaviest out of all of us," Ramsay pointed out. "Second of course to that guy." He pointed his head at Jed.
"Frankly, you all should have come more prepared," Jed claimed.
The blue ski car had already departed, and the pink one stopped, allowing its passengers out.
"Woohoo! Total Drama, here we come!" Wilhelmina cheered.
"Okay, this is definitely not what I signed up for!" Joshua groaned, hugging himself for warmth.
"This is an unusual location for the show," Debbie noted. "How fortunate that I should get to play this one."
"Let us get the show on the road, as it were," Barney suggested. "Er, however we are intended to do so, at any rate."
A drone flew over the crags in front of the players and descended to eye level. A display at the front of the drone powered on, showing Topher's face.
"Hello, Total Drama Mountain Party contestants!" he greeted. "Isn't this thing cool? Since so much of this season will take place on these stark, treacherous peaks, I can use this drone thing to communicate with you, while staying out of danger myself!"
Many contestants looked at him with discomfort.
"But I digress," Topher laughed. "I'm sure you've already taken the time to get well-acquainted with your teams! Why don't we officially establish what each team will be named? Get even more team pride in your veins!"
"Alright!" Tomas whooped.
"Those of you who rode the blue cart," Topher began. "That's Cath, Hye-Jin, Jed, Keanna, Nico, Ramsay, and Stewart. You seven will be... the Frosty Eagles!"
An icy blue logo featuring a swooping eagle displayed on the drone's screen.
"A fitting name given the location, and one which suggests power as well," Cath noted. "90 points. The name passes."
"I'm cautiously optimistic about this team," Keanna smiled.
"Wait, who was Stewart?" Hye-Jin asked.
The mime took off his hat introductorily, then smiled and waved.
"Those of you who rode the red cart," Topher continued. "That's Barney, Debbie, Joshua, Morgan, Nelly, Tomas, and Wilhelmina. You seven will be... the Staggering Goats!"
A desaturated pink logo featuring a determined-looking goat displayed on the drone's screen.
"Tch. Of course he gave away my name," the defiant girl - Nelly - huffed.
"Were you hoping to remain nameless throughout the competition?" Debbie asked. "That's brilliant. I should have thought of that."
"How come they get the cool team name, and we're a dinky little animal who's tripping over himself?" Joshua asked.
"Nah, nah," Tomas denied. "We're the GOATs, the Greatest Of All Time. And we're staggering, like our potential is staggering."
"Well, Frosty Eagles, Staggering Goats," Topher redirected. "Look alive, because your first challenge will be... right now!"
"Nnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrggggggg..." Nico groaned.
"Your campsite will be at the very top of these mountain paths you see before you," Topher explained. "Along the way, you'll have to complete tasks here and there. Tasks that will require cooperation and teamwork to complete. And trust me, you won't be able to skip them and head straight for the finish. The team who completes all their tasks and gets all seven members to the finish first will win Invincibility! The losing team will vote someone out tonight!"
Stewart put his hands up to his cheeks as his eyebrows shot up and his mouth fell open.
"Get on your marks, everyone," Topher instructed. "Your challenge starts in three... two... GO!"
The two teams headed up their own path, determined to ensure their safety for the night.
Confessional:
Jed: Get the feeling I'm the only one on my team with any real outdoors experience. That's fine. I can more than make up for the others. They just gotta follow my lead.
Keanna: Okay, okay, yeah, I get it. This game's all about lying and deceiving and stuff. But... I'm, like, the worst liar in the world. I'm so bad at it. So I'm just not going to lie. I will be completely honest about everything, no matter what. People will know they can trust me that way, and I won't look shifty as hell over something stupid! It's perfect!
Nico: Nyah... Humans have too much responsibility. So much work they have to do just to stay alive. It's exhausting. Cats have the right idea. They just lie around and act rude to people all day, and everyone loves them for it. So I say 'screw it'. I'm just going to be a cat. Who's going to stop me? (He scratches behind his ear.)
Debbie: I've recently been told that I'm plain. Not memorable. Easy to forget, even. It upset me. That's why I've made it my mission to become the opposite. Weird, strange, off-beat. It's a work in progress, but I figured Total Drama would be the best place to learn.
Barney: Hohoho! What a merry menagerie of mooks I mingle with. (He twirls his mustache.) Surely it will be no trrrouble at all to take the reins from the shadows. They already seem not to trrrust one another. In time, those machinations will flourish, but only in time. (He loudly twists the dial on his pocket watch.)
Wilhelmina: When life gives ya hardships, ya face 'em head-on! Heck, I'm the oldest of four, n' we lost our parents a long ol' time ago. Our aunt n' uncle took us in, but we've had to work our tushes off at the ranch to make ends meet! If I can do that, surely I can win some challenges here n' there! (She pats her bicep.)
As the Frosty Eagles began their trek, Ramsay fished a small video camera from his backpack. He put it up to his eye, and hit the record button.
"We're out here in picturesque Mamahtawiyiniw Peaks," he narrated. "This will be the beginning of our first challenge. Just looking at my teammates, I think this game's already off to an excellent start."
"That does not seem necessary when there is already a camera crew filming us," Keanna giggled.
"You'd think so, but no," Ramsay denied. "The editors will surely pick and choose which moments will make it to the big screen. That's just how these things work. I, however, will offer a different perspective. Show those moments they refused to show!"
"Just don't slow us down," Jed snorted.
"The found footage genre thrives on an air of unprofessionalism," Ramsay stated. "That said, there are limits. It still has to be, you know, workable."
"This scenario hardly seems suited to the time we're wasting on it," Cath tutted. "Can you not do this later?"
"Sorry, did you say something?" Ramsay kept his attention on Stewart, who performed a 'walking against the wind' routine.
Jed pried the camera from Ramsay's hands and tossed it into his own backpack.
"Hey!" Ramsay objected.
"You'll get it back when the challenge is done," Jed explained. "Told you not to slow us down."
"Nyeah Ramsay, quit it," Nico droned as he walked past.
Stewart held his hand in front of his mouth, bouncing his upper body as if laughing.
"Oh, don't you start!" Ramsay huffed.
Further behind, Hye-Jin showed Keanna her notebooks, each filled with notes and drawings.
"I know you've seen this one before!" Hye-Jin bubbled. "The red-eyed tree frog! Such beautiful displays of color, and so cute, too!"
"I'm not nearly as interested in this as you are, but I'll keep listening because it seems like a good way to pass the time," Keanna smiled.
"I see..." Hye-Jin responded, deflating a little. "Well, is there anything you want to talk about?"
"I enjoy talking about basketball. Men's, women's, college, you name it," Keanna explained, keeping her friendly smile. "But you don't strike me as the type who cares enough about basketball to hold an interesting conversation about it, otherwise I would have led with that."
"There has to be something we can talk about," Hye-Jin hoped.
"I already told you I was willing to hear you talk about frogs," Keanna reiterated. "My lack of interest in them doesn't change that."
"Uh... uh..." Hye-Jin desperately flipped through her notebook. "Oh! The pumpkin toadlet! It's orange and rough, just like a basketball! And it glows in the dark, too! Which basketballs don't do to my knowledge. It's also poisonous, which... I think basketballs are? I haven't tried eating one. But then, I haven't tried eating a pumpkin toadlet, either, I'm just taking everyone's word for it."
"That is more interesting than the other frog," Keanna nodded. "Your attempts to find a connection to basketball are a little patronizing, but I appreciate the intent behind it. Is there anything else to know about this frog?"
"Well, it's very small. Only about five millimeters, which is why it's called a toadlet," Hye-Jin added. "By the way, you called it a frog, but that's actually fine. 'Toad' as a word for warty frogs is just colloquial. There's no scientific difference between the two beyond the warts. Some people get really annoying about that, but I love all frogs, so it's all the same to me!"
"That's a piece of useless information I didn't already know," Keanna nodded. "It did increase my interest a little bit."
Hye-Jin squealed excitedly.
Confessional:
Ramsay: The others just don't appreciate the creative process. Watching movies is easy. Making movies is incredibly difficult. If nothing else, I hoped some shots of the location could serve as good B-roll I might use in the future. (He clenches his fists.) Oh, I won't forget this!
Hye-Jin: Amphibians are adorable, everyone knows that! It can be hit-or-miss whether others are interested in the finer details, though. And then there's Keanna, who I don't have a great read on at all. ...Okay, but are basketballs poisonous though? What are they made of, anyway?! This is going to bug me!
The Staggering Goats made their way up their own path. Joshua and Wilhelmina led the charge, far ahead of the others.
"C'mon, ya'll!" Wilhelmina encouraged as she glanced behind. "The faster we get this done, the faster we can relax!"
"That's assuming we even win," Joshua mentioned.
"Well yeah, we'll win if we go faster," Wilhelmina figured.
"There's no guarantee of that," Joshua denied. "That's part of why I wanted to talk to you. We're clearly the two strongest members of the team."
"Whoa, slow your roll there, bucko," Wilhelmina interrupted. "We only just started our first challenge. I'm flattered you have faith in me, but shouldn't we talk about this sorta thing later?"
"Again: What if we lose?" Joshua brought up. "It's better to be on the right side of the numbers."
"It is way too soon to be throwin' anyone under the bus," Wilhelmina denied.
"Really? Not Nelly? Not Debbie?" Joshua challenged.
"Oh, they're just goin' through early-game jitters. I get it," Wilhelmina smiled.
Joshua glanced behind. Debbie and Nelly walked side-by-side.
"You seem inclined to do the opposite of what you're told," Debbie noted. "Rejection of what's expected of oneself can also define weirdness. I'm intrigued."
"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" Nelly chastised.
"You did. And I am following your example by doing the opposite of what I'm told," Debbie explained. "I don't feel particularly strange, though. Why is this your avenue to differentiating yourself from the norm, if I may ask?"
"Because everyone thinks they're owed control over my life!" Nelly ranted. "And that includes you! You're just like everyone else, probing me like this!"
"I see," Debbie responded, discouraged. "So this is a facet of normalcy. Thank you for your feedback. I will take it into consideration."
She noticed Joshua glancing at her, and walked forward to catch up to him and Wilhelmina.
"Oh god no," Joshua whispered.
"The majority of our team is far behind the two of you," Debbie pointed out. "I've tentatively reasoned that, on the other side of the coin, being so far ahead of the others makes us the odd ones out." She looked at Joshua's surfboard, which he still carried. "Are you sure that won't function as a snowboard?"
"The two are completely different shapes!" Joshua exasperated.
"In that case, it's somewhat weird that you insist on bringing it with you," Debbie nodded. "...May I carry it?"
"No you may not," Joshua maintained.
Wilhelmina giggled.
Further back, Barney walked alongside Morgan.
"You've been scoping out the others, I can tell," Barney noted. "Have you anything interrresting to share?"
"Nope," Morgan denied.
"I'm all for a friendly game of cards, but the game can't continue if you keep them too close to your chest, my dear," Barney told her.
"...You also can't win if everyone can see them before it's time to show them," Morgan retorted.
"Hohoho! Clever girl, you!" Barney complimented. "It's no secret most of the team has a couple of scrrrews loose. I can see you have the foresight not to make yourself so easily known."
"Mhm," Morgan agreed.
"Very very clever indeed," Barney nodded. "This won't be the last you hear from me, but I'll leave you be for now."
Morgan nodded.
"Hey, y'all! It's our first task!" Wilhelmina called from ahead.
"I'm coming... I'm coming..." Tomas panted as he trudged behind Barney and Morgan.
Confessional:
Tomas: Yeah, surprise surprise, the big guy's having some trouble hiking up a mountain. But hey, that's the game I signed up for. You can't make a gourmet breakfast burger without breaking a few eggs. (He laughs, then lets out a heavy sigh.) I just wish there was, like, a fast-food-themed season I could have been on. I would have crushed that.
Nelly: I'm not surprised everyone sees me and decides they want to try and 'understand' me. It only happens every day of my life! Well guess what: maybe I don't want to be understood! Maybe I just want to do what I want! Did you ever think of that, huh?!
The Frosty Eagles also came across their first task. The team huddled around a signpost that detailed what they were to do.
"'Before you are seven heavy logs'," Cath read. "'Using whatever means you have at your disposal, you must transport them to the next stop. Further instructions will be provided at the next stop'."
"Seven logs for seven people, huh?" Keanna noted. "That sounds very straightforward, but we all know Nico will try to weasel out of it by suggesting Jed carry more than one."
"I resent that," Nico pouted. "I am not a weasel. I am an adorable cat. An adorable cat who also cannot carry anything heavy."
Stewart rubbed his chin, then held up one finger as his face lit up. He approached the pile of logs, took one, and began effortlessly rolling it up the path.
"If you have any further excuses, I'd love to hear them," Cath said to Nico.
"How about 'Let me save my e-nyah-gy for something I can actually do'?" Nico suggested.
"Anyone can roll a log. That's just how physics works," Keanna smiled. "It won't take nearly as much energy as you want us to think."
Nico hissed at Keanna.
"We're wasting time," Jed mentioned. He took two logs and carried them in his arms. "Let's just go." He pressed on.
Nico looked expectantly at his remaining teammates. Cath, Hye-Jin, Keanna, and Ramsay all reluctantly took a log and began rolling it up the path. Satisfied, Nico followed behind them.
"So, what do you rate that guy?" Ramsay whispered to Cath.
"Nico? One does not receive a grade if they don't do any work," Cath winced. "Unless, of course, you count 0 points as a grade."
"There is no way he would do any worse at this than Hye-Jin," Keanna added. "I think the logs weigh more than she does."
Behind the three, Hye-Jin struggled to roll her log.
"One... two... three... frogs!" she counted as she rolled. "One... two... three... frogs!"
Nico walked past her.
"H-Hey! If we each take a side and push, we can get this done faster!" Hye-Jin pleaded.
Nico ignored her and kept walking.
Far further ahead, Jed passed Stewart, who continued rolling his log speedily.
"You're tougher than you look," Jed mentioned.
Stewart put on a serious face and saluted Jed, not missing a beat with his log-rolling.
"Maybe it's not my place to tell the others how much effort they should put in," Jed mused. "Nature will be the judge of that."
Stewart nodded attentively.
"The vote could be the judge of that too," Jed hummed. "Don't plan on losing, though."
Stewart grinned and shot finger-guns at Jed, somehow not slowing down at all.
"Gotta focus," Jed realized. "Idle chit-chat won't get this done any faster. I keep telling them that. Oughta listen to my own advice."
Stewart pretended to hold a phone to his ear, moving his mouth, eyes, and head as though he held a riveting conversation. He did not slow down even a little.
Confessional:
Cath: It's one thing to shirk responsibilities because you struggle with a subject. I see it frequently, and while I don't approve of it, I somewhat understand where others may be coming from. But Nico shirked his responsibilities because he knew someone else would pick up the slack for him. To me, that is far worse. If you don't intend on putting in the effort, then do not deign to expect my sympathies.
Stewart: (He proudly smiles as he strikes bodybuilder poses. He then puts on a pained expression, and arches his back as if he threw it out. Now with a sad face, he rubs his back.)
The Staggering Goats read the instructions to their task.
"Well, that works out, don't it?" Wilhelmina nodded. "Each of us takes a log, easy peasy!"
"Tch. Like you couldn't take three if you wanted," Nelly scoffed. "You know what? I'm not going to do this!"
She marched on ahead.
"Nelly!" Tomas called out. "We need to do the task, or else we can't finish the challenge!"
"Hold on," Debbie considered. "I have wonderful news: I'm doing some outside-the-box thinking."
"Dare I ask what that means?" Joshua asked.
"What are the requirements to win this challenge?" Debbie began.
"We hafta do all the tasks, n' then all of us cross the finish line," Wilhelmina answered.
"Yes," Debbie concurred. "We do all the tasks, and then we cross the finish line."
"What's so outside-the-box about this, exactly?" Joshua pressed.
"Nowhere in the instructions does it say we have to do the tasks sequentially," Debbie explained. "We just have to have all of them done before all seven of us reach the finish. So, in a strange sort of way, Nelly moving ahead may benefit us. She may get a head start on our next task."
"Mmm, but will she?" Barney wondered. "I certainly predict another outcome."
"That's why I'm skipping ahead as well," Debbie continued. "If those who are comfortable in their ability to roll logs take multiple trips, then by the time their mission is complete, the next task may already be finished. An unorthodox tactic. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with it. See you later."
Debbie moved ahead without another word.
"...You guys are good with me going ahead too, right?" Tomas asked as he looked at the pile of logs. "I don't know if I can do even one of those things."
"Er, I still dunno about all this," Wilhelmina admitted. "I don't want our team to get in trouble."
"Besides, this doesn't sound any faster than just doing it normally," Joshua pointed out.
"Whether or not Debbie proves erroneous is beyond our control," Barney mentioned. "As, of course, are Nelly's actions. I say let them do as they please. Should trrrouble find us, 'twill be them to blame, not us."
"I think I will go check on them," Tomas reiterated. "Good luck with the logs!"
He headed forward.
"Those assholes really just left us to do twice the work, huh?" Joshua said in disbelief. He looked at his surfboard. "And what am I supposed to do with this?! Just leave it on the mountain path?!"
"You can always pick it up later," Wilhelmina offered.
"And what if this frigid mountain wind blows it off the path?" Joshua challenged.
"Somehow, I doubt that will happen here," Barney hummed. "Considering this spot is protected enough from the winds that they felt comfortable leaving logs here."
"Oh, well look at the know-it-all over here," Joshua challenged.
"I'm simply granting you incentive to quit your incessant whinging and focus on what needs to be done," Barney claimed.
"Hey, y'all, I agree that we should focus on the task," Wilhelmina stepped in. "There's no need to get personal, y'hear?"
As the others disputed, Morgan took a log and began rolling.
"See, Morgan's got the right idea!" Wilhelmina encouraged. "The sooner we start, the sooner we finish!"
She took a log, draped it over her shoulders, and pressed on.
Confessional:
Joshua: Man, all I wanted was to go to the Total Drama Island, relax, do some cool challenges, and maybe win a million dollars. Instead, I'm stuck on this cold-ass mountain with a bunch of annoying, useless teammates! At least Morgan's cool. She just does her thing without making any fuss.
Morgan: ...No one can hear me in here, right? Because oh my god! I'm losing my goddamn mind! Look, I'm no cooler than anyone else, okay? I just thought I could fake it until I make it. I think people are still willing to buy it? Awesome, if it works it works. But oh man my team is testing my patience so bad. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the facade, but at this point, I have to. (She holds her head desperately.) People actually respect Cool Morgan. I sure as hell can't stop now.
As Jed and Stewart transported their logs, they arrived at another signpost. Jed set his logs down and read.
"'You've been provided a woodcutting ax'," he read. He glanced down at said ax, which hung from a peg on the signpost. "'Use this to cut all seven logs into usable firewood. Then use the rucksacks provided to carry the firewood to your next stop. Further instructions will be provided at your next stop'."
Stewart immediately took the ax and began hacking away at his log.
"You know what you're doing?" Jed inquired.
He looked over Stewart's technique and nodded, satisfied.
"Keep at it. I'll help the others," Jed stated before heading back down the path.
Stewart swung the ax with reckless abandon.
Further down the path, Cath, Keanna, and Ramsay kept a steady pace on rolling their logs.
"This feels like a fool's errand," Keanna smiled. "Downright Sisyphean, even."
"Your ability to keep team morale up gets 43 points," Cath tutted. "I see what you're going for, but misery does not always love company. You fail."
"Your tendency to grade people without them asking is also annoying, so your unfounded confidence is entirely lost on me," Keanna smiled.
"'Unfounded'?" Cath scoffed. "I'll have you know I'm the most sought-after tutor in the district. That's because not only are my own grades flawless, but so are the grades of those I tutor."
"Cool, but I don't see what that has to do with anything going on here," Keanna smiled.
"If you wish to be a team player - and I suspect you do - then you'd do well to heed my advice," Cath explained.
"I think I know a little more about being on a team than you," Keanna giggled. "And bringing others down ain't it."
"And what, precisely, would you call what you've been doing?" Cath doubted.
"As hilarious as this all is, is that Jed coming back down?" Ramsay asked as he squinted to see a figure coming down the mountain path.
Sure enough, Jed caught up with them.
"Good work, you three," he nodded. "Where are Hye-Jin and Nico?"
"Further back, I guess," Ramsay answered warily.
"Hye-Jin's been struggling hardcore with moving her log, and I don't think Nico's helping at all," Keanna giggled.
"I see," Jed said. He walked past them.
Indeed, further back, Hye-Jin slowly forced her log up the path, while Nico slowly walked nearby.
"Nico... please..." Hye-Jin croaked, practically slumping over the log.
"Nyah," Nico declined. "If I help, then that's two of us who are tired out instead of just one. Doesn't make any sense to me-ow."
"If you help... we might be able to... get this thing to... where it's supposed to go," Hye-Jin panted.
"You'll get there eventually. I believe in you," Nico said flatly.
Jed caught up to the two, though Nico didn't acknowledge him and walked right past him. Jed looked down to Hye-Jin.
"Want some help?" he offered.
"Yes please. I really tried," Hye-Jin said apologetically.
Jed lifted the log and carried it in his arms. Without another word, he ascended up the path faster than Nico or Hye-Jin could keep up with.
"See? I told you it'd all work out," Nico said to Hye-Jin as he stretched his arms.
Hye-Jin doubled over, trying to catch her breath.
Confessional:
Jed: Neither Nico nor Hye-Jin are suited for these conditions. The wild is not kind to those who think it's all just pretty nature and cute animals. Right now, my focus is just to win challenges. That's what lets you see another day in the game.
Hye-Jin: This is not going swimmingly at all! Nico just watched me suffer without helping even a little, and now Jed probably thinks I'm some weak link he has to make up for! I don't think I could be making a worse first impression on my team if I tried! What am I going to do?
Nelly sojourned up the path by herself.
"Stupid teammates thinking they can tell me what to do," she grumbled. "We're teammates, that means we're supposed to be equals! Who do they think they are?"
"Hey man, if we're teammates, that works both ways," a voice said from behind. "You gotta try and level with us, too."
Nelly turned around to see Tomas and Debbie approach her.
"I can't help but agree," Debbie admitted. "Though your refusal to adhere to social norms can be strange, there comes a point where its impact on our chances outweighs any intrigue that may provide."
"Oh, I know what you guys are thinking," Nelly scoffed. "Just because I don't put up with anyone's bullshit, I secretly just want to talk about my feelings or something. Well guess what? I don't want to talk about my feelings! And I hate it when people try to get me to!"
"Nah, nah, it's nothing like that," Tomas assured her. "Actually, we were just scouting ahead to see what the next task was like."
"You're welcome to join us if you wish," Debbie added.
"Yeah, I'll pass, thanks," Nelly declined.
"Suit yourself," Tomas accepted.
He and Debbie pressed on. After a considerable amount of hiking, they arrived at the next stop. The two read the signpost, which bore a message identical to the Frosty Eagles' second task.
"Aw, man. Guess we'll have to wait for everyone else to catch up, huh?" Tomas figured.
"...Not necessarily," Debbie considered.
"What do you mean? We can't chop the wood if it's... not here," Tomas scratched his head.
"Once again, I have seen the confines of the box, and have decided to think outside of it," Debbie proclaimed. "Another unorthodox tactic is on the tip of my tongue."
Confessional:
Debbie: These ideas of mine should help speed our progress along, but more importantly, they are unique. Inventive, even. One cannot accuse me of thinking boring thoughts now. (She gives a small, satisfied smile.)
Joshua and Wilhelmina each carried a log, while Barney and Morgan rolled theirs.
"Why are you carrying it like that?" Joshua asked Wilhelmina. While he cradled his log in his arms, she kept it balanced on her neck and shoulders.
"Just how I'm used to it," Wilhelmina explained. "That's how ya carry ornery lil' animals."
"It looks like hell on your upper body," Joshua figured.
"No sir! If it were hell, it'd never end," Wilhelmina grinned. "It's more like purgatory on my upper body. Once all the sufferin's past, my body'll be heavenly!"
"Rrrolling the log should be easier no matter your strength," Barney suggested. "Especially knowing you may have to move two of them."
"'Preciate the concern, but I can handle it," Wilhelmina assured him.
"Hold up. Looks like those two are back," Joshua noticed as Debbie and Tomas descended.
"We come bearing gifts!" Tomas laughed. He carried the woodcutting ax, while Debbie carried the rucksacks.
"What was the next task?" Joshua asked.
"Get this: just chop the logs into pieces and carry them to the third stop," Tomas explained.
"I determined that we could make things easier on ourselves by cutting the logs we have yet to move, so we can do so easily once the time comes," Debbie added. "Also, Nelly went, I presume, to scout the third point and see if there may be anything else that can help."
"You sure she wasn't just blowing you off?" Joshua doubted.
"That's the more realistic possibility, but I'd be remiss to draw such an expected conclusion," Debbie admitted.
"Well shoot, when it comes to woodcuttin', I reckon I could make short work of it all!" Wilhelmina offered. She set her log down. "If the two of y'all wanna carry this bugger up the rest of the way, I can take those things there off your hands n' come back with three bags of wood lickety-split!"
"I presume you'll do the same for the remaining logs as well?" Barney guessed.
"Course!" Wilhelmina promised.
"Works for me," Tomas agreed as he and Debbie handed their items to Wilhelmina.
"Godspeed..." Morgan offered.
Wilhelmina saluted as she made her way back down the path.
Confessional:
Wilhelmina: I even double-checked the first sign, n' sure enough, it said 'Usin' whatever means ya have at your disposal'. If that ain't lawyer-talk for 'Use the ax, dummy!', then I don't know what is!
All members of the Frosty Eagles convened at the second checkpoint.
"So we only have one ax to use?" Ramsay questioned as he watched Stewart chopping away. "What are the other players supposed to do in the meantime?"
"Rest?" Nico suggested.
"You will do no such thing," Cath denied. "In fact, since you saved up so much energy, perhaps you should be the one to cut the logs."
"Nyah," Nico declined. "I'm saving it up for something I can actually do."
"What can you do, exactly?" Hye-Jin pressed.
"Anything a cat can do," Nico shrugged. "I am just an adorable little cat, after all."
"Leave him be," Jed said. "If he won't do it, he won't do it."
"That's so not fair!" Hye-Jin objected.
"Don't worry. We'll just vote him out if we lose," Keanna assured her.
"Hey, if something a cat can do comes up, I'll do it," Nico insisted. "Don't count me-owt."
"What do you expect this challenge will require that a cat can do?" Cath questioned.
"I dunno. Guess we'll see," Nico half-answered.
"How are you holding up, Stewart?" Jed asked.
Stewart dramatically wiped his brow with his sleeve, silently heaving and panting.
"...I can take it from here," Jed offered.
"Jed, your effort in this challenge already clears 100 points," Cath claimed. "Extra credit won't do you any good, and you need to rest too. Why not let someone else do it?"
"That an offer?" Jed wondered.
"Er... It can be," Cath relented.
"That was rhetorical," Jed said. "If not me, then Ramsay or Keanna should do it."
"Oh, I get it," Keanna nodded along. "We're both stronger than Cath, Nico, or Hye-Jin, but not as strong as you or apparently Stewart. Perfectly middling!"
"Keanna, have you ever heard of 'show, don't tell'?" Ramsay questioned. "It's very important in mediums like film where each minute matters."
"Cool! Then you should show us your skills by cutting the wood," Keanna smiled.
Jed handed Ramsay the ax. Ramsay looked bitterly at him, but went for the logs anyway.
Confessional:
Nico: You know why Jed didn't cut up the logs after all? He's too exhausted. Just like Hye-Jin was too exhausted, and I'm too exhausted. Just because I'm not doing these meow-nial tasks doesn't mean I'm not tiring myself out just by hiking with these humans. (He stretches his arms.)
Nico curled up in a ball and took a nap on the ground. Stewart did the same, copying Nico's exact posture and breathing patterns.
"It's kinda creepy, huh?" Keanna commented to Cath.
"Stewart has more than pulled his weight, and quite effectively, too," Cath figured. "93 points thus far, by my estimation."
"Ooh, not a perfect hundred? Ouch," Keanna giggled.
"I don't hand those out so easily," Cath explained.
"Just for Jed, eh?" Keanna winked.
"He has proven an effective leader who has gone above and beyond for the team, yes," Cath maintained.
"I see you, I see you," Keanna hinted.
"I don't think you do," Cath denied.
As Ramsay slowly hacked away at the logs, Hye-Jin approached him, speaking quietly.
"If you get tired, I'll switch in for you," she offered.
"I appreciate that," Ramsay accepted between swings. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you can handle it, though? It's harder than it looks, and you already wore yourself out with the log roll."
"Jed and the others already think I'm a weak link," Hye-Jin frowned.
"I mean, you're roughly five foot, and a hundred pounds soaking wet," Ramsay noted. "Again, no offense, but I don't know what they expect. Especially since Nico's doing all of nothing to help."
"I know!" Hye-Jin agreed. "And Jed took his side! What the hell!"
"Oh, don't even get me started on Jed," Ramsay twitched. "The way he just confiscated my two-hundred-dollar video camera, and tossed it in his backpack like it was a piece of trash off the side of the road. It's probably still rolling, assuming he didn't break it!"
"He thinks he can be the goliath frog of the rainforest," Hye-Jin huffed. "But he's just one person, the same as all of us, right?"
"In theory, yes, but I sense that the others actually take him seriously," Ramsay grumbled. "But hey, if we stick together, who knows what we can make happen?"
"Really?" Hye-Jin asked hopefully.
"Sure. We're already on the same page," Ramsay figured. "I won't shake your hand now, because I have to chop the wood. Also everyone is right here. But later."
"Gotcha," Hye-Jin winked.
Confessional:
Ramsay: Jed might think he's Idris or Denzel, but I can tell you right now that this isn't going to be that kind of picture. Hye-Jin's cool, but two people alone can't decide a vote. Nico and Stewart are both wildcards, so I'll have to keep an eye on them. If we can flip the script, then this season could be a summer blockbuster!
The Staggering Goats - sans Nelly and Wilhelmina - arrived at the second station with their logs.
"So what do we do now?" Joshua asked. "Wait for Big Mina to come back with the ax? Leave the logs here and keep going?"
"Actually, if you guys want to move ahead, I can stick around and let her know when she gets here," Tomas volunteered.
"Probably not a bad idea," Morgan figured. "Better than leaving her confused about where the rest of us are."
"'Tis more prrroactive than simply waiting for progress to occur, I suppose," Barney figured. "Presuming Nelly has done nothing to give us a head start on the next task."
"To separate yourself from the rest of your team during an important bonding step is an odd decision," Debbie noted. "May I do so in your place, Tomas?"
"Huh? I wasn't trying to avoid anyone," Tomas insisted. "Mostly just trying to catch my breath."
"Let's not waste any more time," Morgan decided. "Thanks for keeping an eye out, Tomas."
"No worries, boss! I'll even help Wilhelmina carry the wood," Tomas promised.
"If you insist," Joshua accepted.
Barney, Debbie, Joshua, and Morgan pressed on without Tomas.
"Quite the state our team is in, no?" Barney noted. "Splitting up from the main group, following their own paths."
"Do you disagree with my ideas?" Debbie wondered.
"No, no, not at all my dear." Barney twirled his mustache. "But I believe it speaks to the characters of those who chose to separate themselves. Preferring to go off on their own, away from the rrrest of the team."
"You're overthinking it," Joshua denied. "Big Mina was best-suited to cutting the wood, Tomas probably did need to catch his breath, and Nelly... alright, yeah, Nelly is not a team player."
"Would you have deemed me not a team player had I stayed instead of Tomas?" Debbie wondered.
"I believe the fact that he insisted on staying, and you did not, shows that you have the team's best in mind," Barney explained. "I hope the three of you know what I'm getting at."
"The four of us in a majority alliance, right?" Morgan deduced.
"Correct, my dear," Barney confirmed. "With our combined strength and ingenuity, we shall be the gears, wheels, and levers to create a machine stronger than the sum of our parts."
"And what makes you any more trustworthy than Big Mina or Tomas?" Joshua questioned.
"My good man, the game has only just begun," Barney pointed out. "I dare say nobody is any more or less trustworthy than one another. However, I rrrefuse to simply stand around and wait for something to happen. So I hope you can put your faith in me, just as I've put my faith in you."
"All logic dictates that accepting this proposal would be reckless and foolhardy," Debbie hummed. "I'm in."
"Hohoho! Splendid!" Barney enthused. "Joshua? Morgan?"
"Hold on. I think that's Nelly." Morgan pointed in front.
"Took you guys long enough," Nelly remarked as she leaned against the third signboard. Close by stood a pillar-shaped altar with several small slats jutting out, and a block of ice suspended above it.
"Nobody told you to ditch us, genius," Joshua told Nelly.
"Exactly. Why do you think I did it?" Nelly snickered. "Anyway, I hope you guys brought firewood." She tapped on the signboard.
Barney leaned in to read it. "'Now that you have your firewood, next is the fun part.' I'm sure. 'Stack the wood on the altar, and use the flint and steel provided to start a flame. When your fire burns high enough, it will melt the block of ice holding something you'll need for later'."
"What's stopping us from just grabbing the ice and smashing it with the ax?" Joshua wondered.
"Wilhelmina has the ax," Debbie reminded him.
"Assuming we still had it!" Joshua clarified.
"Oh. Hm. Perhaps the ice is simply too cold," Debbie suggested.
"I don't suppose you've scouted any further ahead?" Barney asked Nelly. "Do you know what our next task will be?"
"Oh, what, I have to just read your minds all of a sudden?" Nelly scoffed. "It's not like we'd be able to do anything even if you knew! We don't have the thing from the ice!"
"Unless... we don't need that item for the next task," Debbie concluded.
"What makes you so sure that's the case?" Joshua doubted.
"Oh, I'm certain it isn't," Debbie explained. "But it'd be strange if it was. My curiosity is piqued."
"If it's all the same, I've a suggestion," Barney smiled. "Debbie, Morgan, Joshua, and Nelly, why don't you scout ahead and see what needs doing? I'll head back and see if I can't help Wilhelmina and Tomas carry some of the wood we'll need."
"That's a lot of people to scout ahead," Morgan noted.
"Yeah, besides, I'm not going to go somewhere just because you tell me!" Nelly objected. "In fact, I'm following you and carrying some wood! Maybe we can get this over with faster!"
"I suppose there's no stopping you, is there?" Barney relented.
"Maybe I should carry some wood, too," Joshua offered.
"No, no, that will be quite alright," Barney declined. "Godspeed!"
He headed down the path, and Nelly followed.
Confessional:
Barney: You see, much like the steam train, first impressions carry a lot of weight. By authorizing myself as an ardent ally so advancedly, 'twill be easier to gain the others' trust. I've already arranged a strong group with those three... but yet three more remain. (He twirls his mustache.) I wonder what shall become of them, hm?
Joshua: What's the deal, man?! Since when does Barney decide who does what around here? And why am I left out of carrying heavy loads? I'm clearly stronger than him or Nelly! That dandy little douchebag is really starting to get under my skin. Well, even more than he already was.
Topher sat in a cozy chair by the fireplace, his feet up and a warm mug of cocoa in his hand.
"The challenge is well under way, and both teams already seem to have trouble with the whole 'teamwork' thing," Topher commentated. "Who will emerge victorious in the end? Who will fall behind? And who will be the first person voted out of the game?"
Topher took a sip of his drink.
"Stay tuned, dear viewers! Join us on another exciting excursion, next time, on Total! Drama!"
He took another sip.
"Mountain Party!"
Frosty Eagles:
Cath - The Judgmental Tutor
Hye-Jin - The Frog Herpetologist
Jed - The Taciturn Hunter
Keanna - The Honest Basketballer
Nico - The Lazy Catboy
Ramsay - The Indie Filmmaker
Stewart - The Mime
Staggering Goats:
Barney - The Treacherous Steampunk
Debbie - The Trying-To-Be-Weird
Joshua - The Grouchy Surfer
Morgan - The Faux Badass
Nelly - The Rebellious Skater
Tomas - The Fast Food Aficionado
Wilhelmina - The Optimistic Rancher
A/N: I kind of missed doing more lighthearted seasons with smaller casts. So I decided to start another one. Crazy how that works.
I do want to prioritize Pizza Party as the 'main' season, but I've found that I tend to thrive when I have two projects I can go back and forth between. That way, there are two things I can potentially find inspiration to write. With how long it took Party with the Stars to finish, I think I can safely say that this is better than having just one project and hoping I find inspiration for it.
That said, I hope you enjoy Total Drama Mountain Party! I have some fun ideas lined up for the cast, and I think you'll all agree. In the meantime, who are your favorites and least favorites right out the gate?